Acrylic Bonds

​Turpentine 

 

Finally, a lazy afternoon, the worry cloud had drifted away from the pristine manor, Brian found himself lying on Vincent’s chest wondering if their good luck would hold out or come crashing down around them. Vincent had fallen asleep again; he seemed to do that a lot. Brian ran a lazy finger over Vincent’s chin, he was surprised how attached he had become to the brothers in such a short period of time. He often wondered how Stephan felt about the twins, he never really talked about anything anymore, he just painted; all day and most nights. 



Vincent stirred and smiled up at Brian, tugging at his long brown hair. 

“Dad says you look like a girl and should cut your hair.” 

“He’s not my dad, and I like my hair the way it is.” Brian retorted and stuck out his tongue. It had only been a few weeks since they had moved in, but this slow southern-style town made them feel like they had lived there for years. 

“Hey Vince,” Brian asked out of pent up curiosity. “You and Victor, I mean, you guys kissed each other at dinner. You know the night we met your parents.” He had wanted to know what that was about for weeks, but was a little afraid to ask. Vincent laughed. 

“Yeah, we did. But don’t worry, no one saw us.” Brian was trying to find a polite way to ask what he really wanted to know. The last thing he wanted to do was to make the twins mad enough to kick them out. 

“I mean, do you guys do that kind of thing… a lot?” Vincent stared at the sky as if he needed to decide if he were going to provide an answer. 



“It started a long time ago, like an accident.” He sighed before reaching over to pick up a blade of grass and stick it in his mouth. “V and I spent a lot of time by ourselves when we were little. When we got around other kids, they sort of ignored us… you know like we wasn’t there or sum’thin.” Brian knew Vincent’s dialect would often get out of hand when he was nervous. He tried to comfort him a little by rubbing his shoulders. 

“By the time he and I was close to 12 or so, we both knew we didn’t really like girls. I can’t really explain it, it was like we knew when the other guys were talkin’ bout dating, sexing, feelin’ someone up, there wasn’t a desire to do any of that. None of the other boys felt like we did, and after a while, we just kinda started likin each other.” Brian wasn’t sure he understood the logic behind that, but in a way he realized maybe he and Stephen were the same way. They weren’t blood brothers, but they did grow up together like brothers, in the same home and yet… there wasn’t anyone else in the world he loved more than Stephan. 



Vincent seemed to feel Brian’s thoughts, his hands rubbed across his neck. “V and I were alone with our feelin’s and each other. There weren’t a soul who understood what was happening with us, hell, we didn’t really understand it ourselves. When Paw found out I was gay, he kicked me out. I didn’t want V to have to go through all that, so I moved further from away from him after a while. I knew if I didn’t, both our lives would be ruined by how we feel about each other.” Brian listened intently, he was suddenly worried about Stephan.

He couldn’t imagine that if Vincent and Victor really loved each other, even in a sexual way, how could they love someone else? What if Stephan falls for Victor and finds out later, he’s only toying with him. Vincent felt Brian move away and he grabbed his arm, turning on his side so he could see his face. 

“Look Brian, I don’t expect you to understand any of this. V and I have found a way to live with our feelings and we know it’s not the kind of love that make people get married, but it is the kind of love that will never allow us to remain apart. I think my brother really likes your friend, and I really like you…” 

“Like and love are two different things.” Brian said flatly. He didn’t want Vincent to think he was ungrateful or angry, but he needed him to understand that his heart belonged to Stephan. 

“Don’t you have fun with me?” Vincent seemed worried. 

“Yes.” Brian answered cautiously “Sex with you is… well, it’s amazing! But sex and love are not the same.” His words trailed off. He didn’t want to hurt anyone and he didn’t really know how Vincent felt about him. Vincent laughed and ran his hand over Brian’s hair, making it fly around his head. 

“I think, you’re the first guy who ever got it.” Brian tilted his head in confusion, Vincent sat up. “Almost every guy I’ve ever slept with would eventually get mad because I wouldn’t commit or say I love them. The whole time I’ve traveled around, the guys I’ve met want a commitment, like we have to get married because we’re sleeping together or sumthin’. I never wanted that. I don’t know if I ever wanna get married, I just know I like bonin’ guys, ya know?” Brian gave a light laugh, 

“So you don’t love me?” He asked, jokingly. 

“Don’t know, hadn’t thought about it. But I know you love Stephan.” Brian grinned

“You don’t mind if I go find him then?” 

“Haha, I was wondering whut was takin’ you so long.” Brian planted a kiss on Vincent’s cheek before dragging himself to his feet and running to the gazebo where he was sure he would find Stephan slaving away on another painting. 



Brian sprinted across the yard, heading toward the easel smiling, for some reason he was giddy happy and felt like skipping. He reached Stephan in a few long strides, but his happy mood faded the moment he saw his little friend covered in paint splatter, furiously concentrating, his brows knitted, his face taught. He walked around to the other side so he could see the painting and was shocked to find a horrendous piece full of sadness, torture and complete degradation. He looked at the canvases lying against the wall, each one of them filled with grotesque pictures of severed limbs, mutilated animals, and graveyard scenes. He grabbed Stephan by the shoulders, lightly shaking him. 



“Stevie! Stevie! Hey! Wake up! Snap out of it!” Life slowly returned to the dull green eyes. He stared as if he couldn’t see the person in front of him. It was true, Brian hadn’t seen Stephan in a few days, he had stayed away from him so he could paint in peace. Apparently, that wasn’t the best decision. 

“Are you okay?” He asked with genuine concern. 

“Bry?” Stephan’s eyes started to come back to life, as if a cloud were lifting. The corners of his mouth lifted for a moment, but then within an instant, the expression changed into fury. He stabbed at Brian with the end of the paintbrush, jumping on him and pushing him to the ground… 

“Wait! Wait damn it!! What’s wrong with you?!” 

“You traitor! You monster!” Stephan screamed, still jabbing the paintbrush towards Brian’s body. “You said you would be with me! You said you would never leave me but you are always… ALWAYS with HIM!!” He was shouting and pulling at Brian’s hair. 



Not wanting things to go any further, Brian lifted his pelvic bone, flipped Stephan over and pinned him to the ground. 

“Now look! You’ve got things wrong! I was trying to give you room to work.. that’s all!” 

Stephan snorted. 

“Of course you want me to work.. If I don’t paint… You don’t eat!” Stephan spat his anger glaring at Brian as if he were looking in the face of an evil clone. 

Brian was tired of these instant mood swings. He wanted his friend back and he had no idea what he had to do to get Stephan to go back to the way he was before his 16th birthday… back to…



He stopped. He waited for Stephan to calm down. 

Stephan was breathing hard from his recent outburst, but his strength was ebbing and his body had stopped twitching. Brian slid off Stephan’s body and gathered him in his arms, holding him, rocking back and forth like he used to when they first met. Back when Stephan couldn’t sleep without his thumb in his mouth and a blanket clenched tightly in his little fist. Back when those innocent green eyes only knew the stories Brian would tell him, and the games they would play to make their hellish lives seem normal. He stroked Stephan’s hair and sang to him softly like a mommy would. They sat that way for almost half an hour, when Stephan pushed Brian’s hands away, twisted around and plopped himself on Brian’s lap. 

“Tonight, you will make love to me.” It wasn’t a request. He didn’t seem angry anymore, but something about his expression was a little scary. 



Brian nodded unable to find anything useful to say. Stephan smiled happily, his green eyes shining bright again. He hopped up filled with a renewed energy, replaced the morbid canvas and began drawing a picture similar to the one he drew when they were on the train. Brian sat patiently watching his little friend working peacefully, creating one masterpiece after the other. Although he had waited a long time to be able to touch Stephan the way he always wanted to, deep down he was worried. 

What if he wasn’t what Stephan expected? What if Stephan wasn’t as good as Vincent? What if while making out he calls “Stevie” Vincent? What if he can’t get in the mood to do it all? Worst of all, What if they make out tonight, but lose their friendship forever? 



He chewed on his finger, contemplating… worrying. He seemed alone in this line of thinking, seeing as how Stephan was whistling contently. But Brian didn’t share this level of confidence, in his reality… he was really, truly, desperately…. Afraid.