Only the Heart Knows Why
folder
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,416
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,416
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Unloved
Eight: Unloved
(Characters belong to me and Azathoia. Also, please read his story "Only the Heart Knows Why, Quax's Days"… Have a nice day.)
(IMPORTANT AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is my very first time ever writing a sex scene on my own (I once helped my spirit sister Shiara Ramone write Nacho Cheese, or whatever it’s called, involving Fruits Basket guys…) and it probably sucks horribly… I do indeed hope to get better at this kind of thing, but until then please bear with me on this… I really did try.)
I sit outside of Kaddar’s house for awhile. Luckily, his parents are out working again. I sigh, wondering when he’ll be showing up. I still can’t believe I left my phone at Quax’s place. Ugh, how could I be so stupid?! Any other person probably would have gone back to get it, but I really don’t want to see him again. After seeing that bedroom… I really don’t want to go back.
The honking of a car horn grabs my attention, and I look up to see Kaddar’s old car pull up. It looks a lot dirtier than it did before. “’Bout time you decided to come home,” I tell him as he walks up.
“Yeah, well I tried to call you, but some other guy answered your phone…”
“I know.” I plant a small kiss on Kaddar’s lips. “I stayed with a classmate last night to avoid Aledren. I accidentally left my phone there.”
“Ah, alright then.” He pulls me close and kisses me, his tongue invading my mouth like so many times before, but it feels… different, like there’s a foreign taste to it. I don’t understand, and he pulls away and looks down into my eyes.
“Is something the matter?”
I think about it a moment more, then shake my head. “No.” I smile at him and add, “I’m just glad you finally came home.”
He returns the smile, and I return his kiss. But there’s still something off about it. It’s not the way that his hand gracefully slides down my back. It’s not the way his tongue duels with mine. There’s just something… different, not right. What is it? We pull apart and he smiles at me again. “I think someone missed something more than just me,” he says, and his smile turns into a grin.
“Maybe,” I mutter, feeling my cheeks go red again at the memory of class that one day. That was so embarrassing! I feel his hand lift my chin up, and he gives me yet another kiss, gentler this time. “I’ll unpack later,” he whispers, pulling me closer. “For now, we’ll enjoy each other’s company.” Then he suddenly picks me up and carries me into his house. I hold on to him. He should know I hate being carried like this! We make it to his room and I land on his bed, and hear him shut and lock his door, just in case anyone else comes home. Then he comes back over to me, sitting on the edge of the bed as he gazes into my eyes. “This is probably what I missed the most,” he admits, leaning over and kissing me again, one of his hands lifting up my shirt until it sits just below my shoulders. He pulls back and pulls the shirt completely off of me, tossing it off somewhere in his room.
As always when we do this, I blush. I find it hard to believe that I still get embarrassed, even now. Kaddar has seen the scars before. He knows what I used to do myself, what Aledren does to me, he knows all of this, he’s seen the results! So why do I still feel like I did that first time? My thoughts break as I feel his tongue licking a special spot between my neck and shoulder, and I can’t help the small sound that escapes me. He pulls back from my neck and grins down at me. “What was that I heard?” I blink a couple times before shutting my eyes. I don’t need to answer him. He knows what he heard-ohh gods… His hand wraps around my dick, stroking me like the sex expert he is. Even though he’s touching me through the fabric of my pants, I can still feel it as though there was nothing between us. “You’re so sexy…”
“And you should just beha-ahh…” I shut my eyes again, my mind pretty much focused on the talents of his hand. The way it curves around so perfectly, slowly bringing me to the edge without much effort. “Damn fucking Hell,” I breathe, though the voice sounds so far away now. After a few more moments of clouded thought, I glance up at Kaddar’s grinning face. “What now?” I am very irritated with you, Kaddar.
He laughs. “Damn fucking Hell? I thought it’d be the other way around.” Watching how the blonde hair frames his lightly tanned face, allowing his green eyes to sparkle through… I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him down on top of me, kissing him furiously. The bastard shouldn’t be speaking, damn it!!
During our kissing, I am vaguely aware of his hands, wandering downward ever so slowly again. I stop him by tugging at his shirt. “Get this damn thing off first.”
“Fine, fine,” he complies, sitting up and removing his shirt. I pout at him until he kneels back down again, licking, biting, sucking, all over my chest and stomach. I hear moaning and other sounds, not really sure if they’re mine or his, or even both. My thoughts are so cloudy; I can’t think straight. My head turns to the side on the pillow, and it feels so cool against my warm skin. His face goes lower still, and again I moan. “Ahh, d-damn it, Kaddar…” Damn, just, please, just take me, damn it all!
He stands up then, almost as though he read my mind he undoes his pants, dropping them to the floor and then kicking them away, doing the same with his boxers. “… You know, when you’re desperate, the whole street can hear you.” He grins at me, reaching for my own pants.
“Oh my god, I shouted that aloud?”
“Ohh yeah…” I feel my pants slide off and I blush more when he whistles. “Since when do you not wear underwear?”
“Uh, er… I’m not wearing any… because….” This is taking too damn long. “Oh, god, just take me already, Kaddar! Fuck me, please, I’m sick of your stupid waiting game!”
He leans down and claims my mouth with his own, brushing his crotch against mine and I jump, bumping him again, hearing a loud moaning/growling. I guess that time it was both of us… Kaddar shifts himself between my legs and I bite my lip. He’s never really gentle with this part, and after so long… This is gonna hurt a bit…
And I’m right. He pushes himself in so quickly that I cry out in pain, and I am certain that the whole damn block can hear me! It hurts so damn much, but that’s normal, right? It’s supposed to be this way, right? When he pushes in again, I hear another scream. Oh bloody fucking hell god damn it, just get to the good part already!! After a few more thrusts, I am blinded by something so amazing I forget all about the pain. This is what I’ve been waiting for. This is the damn good part! “Oh fucking gods.” Was that me or him? I don’t even care anymore! So much… So many colors… I feel as though my body is shaking, but I can’t tell. I keep getting blinded by the intensity of Kaddar’s perfect rhythm, until I suddenly hear a choked scream, my body unable to take anymore, barely aware of a sticky substance starting to coat us both, and Kaddar’s shout as he climaxes too, pulling out just in time. I fall back onto the bed, out of breath and thinking that Kaddar actually shouted something he wasn’t supposed to. My dazed mind tries to decipher it.
He collapses next to me, out of breath. Eventually the colors start to fade back, and my head stops feeling like it’s spinning or floating or whatever. My breathing becomes normal and so does his as he pulls me closer, and I make a disgusted face about the stickiness. “Haha, you’re so cute,” he says, kissing me.
“Uh huh,” I mumble, my thoughts finally able to focus. “Who’s Adrian?”
“Adrian??” Kaddar gives me a bewildered look.
I clarify for him, “You shouted that name. Who is it?”
“That’s… um…”
Hesitation… that‘s not good! “Well?!”
“Well, he’s… a friend…”
Oh… no… No… “K-Kaddar…”
“Yes, Kanau?” Is he seriously…
“… Did you sleep with him?” I need to know this. “Well, did you?!”
His unresponsive answer is enough for me. I push him away, getting off the bed and reaching for my clothes. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me back. “Listen, it’s not what you think.”
“Then what the fuck is it, Kaddar?! How is it not cheating?!”
Kaddar has no reply, so he just lets go of me. I can’t stand being here anymore. I quickly get dressed and run out, and I keep running until I reach the park. Not even Kaddar loved me the way I thought he did. Would anyone ever accept me…?
***
I reluctantly return home, opening the front door and almost instantly hit the floor after getting punched in the face by Aledren. “Boy, where the hell have you been?! If you want me to officially kick your ass out of here, that’s fine.”
I sit up and barely hear his words. I feel so numb. Apparently he knows I’m not listening, because he strikes me with his cane next. My vision starts to blur after that blow, but he doesn’t stop, not until he gives me one more kick to the stomach. I can’t breathe, but my body seems to go on automatic again as I get up off the floor and stumble to my room, falling as soon as I make it in the door. Nothing seems to matter anymore.
I crawl over to my bed and get on it, laying on my side as I wait for the numbness to return and the pain to fade. I think I’m out of cigarettes now, or I would’ve smoked myself into a coma earlier. That would have been a grand idea, one of my best actually. Anything would be better than this. Hell, I would even take Quax over this nightmare!
I silently roll onto my other side, my headache getting slightly worse from the movement. At least Aledren was easy on me tonight. He must still be tired from his trip. And I can’t fall asleep, no matter how hard I try.
After making sure he’s asleep in his bed, I tiptoe out of my room, stepping into the bathroom and turning on the light. I open up the medicine cabinet and take out an aspirin for the pain, then find something to help me sleep. If I’m not supposed to mix these, I don’t care. I need this. I take the pills and pour water into one of the little paper cups Aledren picked up while he was away, drinking it. I toss the little cup into the trash and return to my room, ready to sleep off this nightmare until I wake up to the next one. With Kaddar gone… there’s not much else to hope for. Fucking idiot, why did he have to fucking cheat one me?! Was I really not good enough for him?! These last couple years, I thought we were in love, but I guess it was my looks he loved after all. And then he goes off and fucks whoever the hell Adrian is… Why did he… have to betray me… like this…?
(Final Note: FAN ART! I have done a sketch in honor of this story featuring Kanau and Quax. Visit my profile and click the homepage link to see it! My partner in writing loves it. I’ll be doing more too, most likely, hehe)
(Characters belong to me and Azathoia. Also, please read his story "Only the Heart Knows Why, Quax's Days"… Have a nice day.)
(IMPORTANT AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is my very first time ever writing a sex scene on my own (I once helped my spirit sister Shiara Ramone write Nacho Cheese, or whatever it’s called, involving Fruits Basket guys…) and it probably sucks horribly… I do indeed hope to get better at this kind of thing, but until then please bear with me on this… I really did try.)
I sit outside of Kaddar’s house for awhile. Luckily, his parents are out working again. I sigh, wondering when he’ll be showing up. I still can’t believe I left my phone at Quax’s place. Ugh, how could I be so stupid?! Any other person probably would have gone back to get it, but I really don’t want to see him again. After seeing that bedroom… I really don’t want to go back.
The honking of a car horn grabs my attention, and I look up to see Kaddar’s old car pull up. It looks a lot dirtier than it did before. “’Bout time you decided to come home,” I tell him as he walks up.
“Yeah, well I tried to call you, but some other guy answered your phone…”
“I know.” I plant a small kiss on Kaddar’s lips. “I stayed with a classmate last night to avoid Aledren. I accidentally left my phone there.”
“Ah, alright then.” He pulls me close and kisses me, his tongue invading my mouth like so many times before, but it feels… different, like there’s a foreign taste to it. I don’t understand, and he pulls away and looks down into my eyes.
“Is something the matter?”
I think about it a moment more, then shake my head. “No.” I smile at him and add, “I’m just glad you finally came home.”
He returns the smile, and I return his kiss. But there’s still something off about it. It’s not the way that his hand gracefully slides down my back. It’s not the way his tongue duels with mine. There’s just something… different, not right. What is it? We pull apart and he smiles at me again. “I think someone missed something more than just me,” he says, and his smile turns into a grin.
“Maybe,” I mutter, feeling my cheeks go red again at the memory of class that one day. That was so embarrassing! I feel his hand lift my chin up, and he gives me yet another kiss, gentler this time. “I’ll unpack later,” he whispers, pulling me closer. “For now, we’ll enjoy each other’s company.” Then he suddenly picks me up and carries me into his house. I hold on to him. He should know I hate being carried like this! We make it to his room and I land on his bed, and hear him shut and lock his door, just in case anyone else comes home. Then he comes back over to me, sitting on the edge of the bed as he gazes into my eyes. “This is probably what I missed the most,” he admits, leaning over and kissing me again, one of his hands lifting up my shirt until it sits just below my shoulders. He pulls back and pulls the shirt completely off of me, tossing it off somewhere in his room.
As always when we do this, I blush. I find it hard to believe that I still get embarrassed, even now. Kaddar has seen the scars before. He knows what I used to do myself, what Aledren does to me, he knows all of this, he’s seen the results! So why do I still feel like I did that first time? My thoughts break as I feel his tongue licking a special spot between my neck and shoulder, and I can’t help the small sound that escapes me. He pulls back from my neck and grins down at me. “What was that I heard?” I blink a couple times before shutting my eyes. I don’t need to answer him. He knows what he heard-ohh gods… His hand wraps around my dick, stroking me like the sex expert he is. Even though he’s touching me through the fabric of my pants, I can still feel it as though there was nothing between us. “You’re so sexy…”
“And you should just beha-ahh…” I shut my eyes again, my mind pretty much focused on the talents of his hand. The way it curves around so perfectly, slowly bringing me to the edge without much effort. “Damn fucking Hell,” I breathe, though the voice sounds so far away now. After a few more moments of clouded thought, I glance up at Kaddar’s grinning face. “What now?” I am very irritated with you, Kaddar.
He laughs. “Damn fucking Hell? I thought it’d be the other way around.” Watching how the blonde hair frames his lightly tanned face, allowing his green eyes to sparkle through… I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him down on top of me, kissing him furiously. The bastard shouldn’t be speaking, damn it!!
During our kissing, I am vaguely aware of his hands, wandering downward ever so slowly again. I stop him by tugging at his shirt. “Get this damn thing off first.”
“Fine, fine,” he complies, sitting up and removing his shirt. I pout at him until he kneels back down again, licking, biting, sucking, all over my chest and stomach. I hear moaning and other sounds, not really sure if they’re mine or his, or even both. My thoughts are so cloudy; I can’t think straight. My head turns to the side on the pillow, and it feels so cool against my warm skin. His face goes lower still, and again I moan. “Ahh, d-damn it, Kaddar…” Damn, just, please, just take me, damn it all!
He stands up then, almost as though he read my mind he undoes his pants, dropping them to the floor and then kicking them away, doing the same with his boxers. “… You know, when you’re desperate, the whole street can hear you.” He grins at me, reaching for my own pants.
“Oh my god, I shouted that aloud?”
“Ohh yeah…” I feel my pants slide off and I blush more when he whistles. “Since when do you not wear underwear?”
“Uh, er… I’m not wearing any… because….” This is taking too damn long. “Oh, god, just take me already, Kaddar! Fuck me, please, I’m sick of your stupid waiting game!”
He leans down and claims my mouth with his own, brushing his crotch against mine and I jump, bumping him again, hearing a loud moaning/growling. I guess that time it was both of us… Kaddar shifts himself between my legs and I bite my lip. He’s never really gentle with this part, and after so long… This is gonna hurt a bit…
And I’m right. He pushes himself in so quickly that I cry out in pain, and I am certain that the whole damn block can hear me! It hurts so damn much, but that’s normal, right? It’s supposed to be this way, right? When he pushes in again, I hear another scream. Oh bloody fucking hell god damn it, just get to the good part already!! After a few more thrusts, I am blinded by something so amazing I forget all about the pain. This is what I’ve been waiting for. This is the damn good part! “Oh fucking gods.” Was that me or him? I don’t even care anymore! So much… So many colors… I feel as though my body is shaking, but I can’t tell. I keep getting blinded by the intensity of Kaddar’s perfect rhythm, until I suddenly hear a choked scream, my body unable to take anymore, barely aware of a sticky substance starting to coat us both, and Kaddar’s shout as he climaxes too, pulling out just in time. I fall back onto the bed, out of breath and thinking that Kaddar actually shouted something he wasn’t supposed to. My dazed mind tries to decipher it.
He collapses next to me, out of breath. Eventually the colors start to fade back, and my head stops feeling like it’s spinning or floating or whatever. My breathing becomes normal and so does his as he pulls me closer, and I make a disgusted face about the stickiness. “Haha, you’re so cute,” he says, kissing me.
“Uh huh,” I mumble, my thoughts finally able to focus. “Who’s Adrian?”
“Adrian??” Kaddar gives me a bewildered look.
I clarify for him, “You shouted that name. Who is it?”
“That’s… um…”
Hesitation… that‘s not good! “Well?!”
“Well, he’s… a friend…”
Oh… no… No… “K-Kaddar…”
“Yes, Kanau?” Is he seriously…
“… Did you sleep with him?” I need to know this. “Well, did you?!”
His unresponsive answer is enough for me. I push him away, getting off the bed and reaching for my clothes. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me back. “Listen, it’s not what you think.”
“Then what the fuck is it, Kaddar?! How is it not cheating?!”
Kaddar has no reply, so he just lets go of me. I can’t stand being here anymore. I quickly get dressed and run out, and I keep running until I reach the park. Not even Kaddar loved me the way I thought he did. Would anyone ever accept me…?
***
I reluctantly return home, opening the front door and almost instantly hit the floor after getting punched in the face by Aledren. “Boy, where the hell have you been?! If you want me to officially kick your ass out of here, that’s fine.”
I sit up and barely hear his words. I feel so numb. Apparently he knows I’m not listening, because he strikes me with his cane next. My vision starts to blur after that blow, but he doesn’t stop, not until he gives me one more kick to the stomach. I can’t breathe, but my body seems to go on automatic again as I get up off the floor and stumble to my room, falling as soon as I make it in the door. Nothing seems to matter anymore.
I crawl over to my bed and get on it, laying on my side as I wait for the numbness to return and the pain to fade. I think I’m out of cigarettes now, or I would’ve smoked myself into a coma earlier. That would have been a grand idea, one of my best actually. Anything would be better than this. Hell, I would even take Quax over this nightmare!
I silently roll onto my other side, my headache getting slightly worse from the movement. At least Aledren was easy on me tonight. He must still be tired from his trip. And I can’t fall asleep, no matter how hard I try.
After making sure he’s asleep in his bed, I tiptoe out of my room, stepping into the bathroom and turning on the light. I open up the medicine cabinet and take out an aspirin for the pain, then find something to help me sleep. If I’m not supposed to mix these, I don’t care. I need this. I take the pills and pour water into one of the little paper cups Aledren picked up while he was away, drinking it. I toss the little cup into the trash and return to my room, ready to sleep off this nightmare until I wake up to the next one. With Kaddar gone… there’s not much else to hope for. Fucking idiot, why did he have to fucking cheat one me?! Was I really not good enough for him?! These last couple years, I thought we were in love, but I guess it was my looks he loved after all. And then he goes off and fucks whoever the hell Adrian is… Why did he… have to betray me… like this…?
(Final Note: FAN ART! I have done a sketch in honor of this story featuring Kanau and Quax. Visit my profile and click the homepage link to see it! My partner in writing loves it. I’ll be doing more too, most likely, hehe)