Jinx

Hi!
Sorry for the long wait and thank you all for your support. I'm not very satisfied with this chapter because it was hard to get a feel of the story after such a long time. I sincerely hope it's not too bad. But I wanted to post it anyway to get on with the plot.
I promise, I will take the time to answer to all the readers who left me a review sometimes this week. Thank you so much!
Hope you enjoy. Hugs

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“That was fast!” The bastard chuckled slyly, wiping his hand covered with my seed with a tissue he had picked in the box laying on his night stand.

Like an idiot, I was incapable of doing anything but staring at him incredulously, cheeks flushed, slightly panting in the aftermath of my recent orgasm, unconsciously chewing on my lower lip, watching like hypnotized the curious dance of his hanky, encircling his fingers one by one to erase the bitter evidences of my treacherous body’s betrayal. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my trembling lip to control the flow of strong and disturbing emotions that were trying to get a grip on my heart and mind. Saying I was deadly mortified was clearly not enough to describe my state of my mind at the moment.

Yeah. Deadly mortified is how you feel when your stomach growl loudly in a crowded bus and all the disgusted gazes of the passengers focus on your red-faced self. Or when you unfortunately slip on a wet tile and fell face down in the canteen hall, all your compassionate so-called friends openly laughing at you and addressing you by the affectionate nickname of ‘flying lump’ for the rest of the year because, to make your bad luck even worse, you landed in your plate of mashed potatoes. Sneaky mashed potatoes that stick better than glue on your skin. See what I mean?

So, considering I just woke up in the bed of that control freak in my naked glory and he dreadfully made me come not once, but twice, in a few hours, ‘deadly mortified’ was as fitting to depict the burning shame that was consuming me as calling the iceberg that sank the Titanic a tiny melting ice cube.

Shit! It really happened. That was not a nightmare. A delirious twisted trick of my exhausted mind. Nope. Not a chance. All of this was awfully real. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Cover the chaste ears of the little kids. The devil went down on me and fingered me. And he’s my boss. Holy crap! And he’s seen me naked. Wait! I’m still naked. Shit shit shit!

The worst is that I’m the only one to blame because I put myself in this crap. All alone. Like the stupid fool I am. Damn! I’m sooooooo fucking dumb! Wanna slap me? Help yourself. I would do it myself if my limbs weren’t so freaking heavy and my head didn’t already feel as if a hammer was rhythmically pounding my skull with the precision of a metronome. Stupid stupid stupid me!

Seriously what’s the matter with me? What kind of degraded neurons’ connections took place in my brain to make me think that offering myself on a plate would make this sex maniac back off? The prehistoric ape can hardly keep it in his pants every time he sees me for God’s sake! As if he needed an excuse to molest me! Here I am, giving him a golden invitation to have a go at me. Those who think that once drunk and all uninhibited, we’re acting true to our unconscious feelings are out of their fucking mind. Like I want that manic psycho to do me! I’m not a masochist! Eck! I’m never gonna drink again! I mean, alcohol, because of course, I need to drink, at least water, or I would die. Well, right now, dying doesn’t sound to be such a bad idea. Yep. I’m that desperate.

I sighed heavily and gently rubbed my temple in a hopeless attempt to dissipate the dense clouds persistently obscuring my mind. Drops of sweat were pearling on my forehead. I felt horrible. Feverish. Still slightly buzzed. Nauseous. Not in the best condition to philosophize on the present situation. Awful situation. One of the worst I had been in. Correct that. One of the worst shits I had put myself into.

Fuuuuuuuck! That was all that was willingly coming to my mind. Along with the tremendous dark thoughts of depression. I can’t believe it! For that long, I had managed to avoid this kind of events, that is, waking up besides an almost stranger after a night very much alike a completely out of proportion orgy, having unspeakable things I’d like to put in the farthest corner of my mind for the rest of my life done to me, and here I am, throwing myself at the only man on earth I loathe more than the hunter that killed Bambi’s mummy. Let’s be honest. Who doesn’t hate him?

Oh God! Does that mean that I’m not a virgin anymore? That I did just the thing I wanted to avoid at all price? Losing it meaninglessly in a one-night stand. Well, technically he hadn’t taken me. But it’s not exactly as if he had done nothing either. To the front. And the back. With his mouth. And damned fingers. Argh! I want to die!

Rationalize. That’s it. Don’t panic. Try to put last night’s events into perspective. That could have been worse. Yeah. He could have gone all the way. Or force me to give him head. Or both. Yep. Since I was at his total mercy. Like a complete idiot. Yippee yeah. I’m actually happy he only jerked me off and blew me. That sucks. Ironically, it’s the perfect word to sum up the situation. Oh! I forgot the fingering part. Not that my lower back will let me forget it this soon considering the pain that shot up my spine when I squirmed on the soft mattress.

If only I could blame it all on my inebriated state. A stupid error in the midst of an impenetrable drunken slumber. A dangerous game the liquor sinfully insinuated in my mind would be fun and exciting to play. A game I’m not really sure I was afraid to lose at the time. That happens all the time. To the best of us. Right. Sigh. If only I was not aware of my actions. If only the shameful slutty way I acted yesterday that was so not me could have been provoked by my poor resistance to liquor. If only I had been too smashed to remember the words, the touches, the feelings, my body’s response. If only I could put on the single alcohol’s account the fact that it felt good being held under him, kissed by him. If only I had gotten hard only by a physiological phenomenon and not because I desired him, wanted to give myself to him, to be taken by him. If only… I wouldn’t hate myself so much right now. It would be easy to accept the consequences of my acts. I would be able to put it all behind, pass it as a simple youthful mistake, with a carefree smile and a relieved laugh. Instead of losing myself in anger and self-loathing.


I flinched when I felt his hand touching lightly my hair, his long fingers softly stroking along my dark strands in a soothing caress, sometimes rubbing my nape with his callous thumb. I looked up inquiringly, expecting to face his trademark mocking expression, but instead I met his shining blue eyes searching mine, passionately locked on my green gaze, so intensely that I uncontrollably shivered. As if to reach my soul, lost in an overcoming flow of conflicting emotions that had made me instinctively curl up into a tight ball in the warmth of his bed. Silently witnessing my fight against myself with a compassionate expression imprinted on his handsome face. Wondering what silly thoughts could be whirling in this little foolish head of mine.

Is he gonna pity me now? I don’t need his compassion. I don’t want it damn it! He has no right to look at me like that. Like I’m a fucking weakling that needs comfort and soft caresses. I’m stronger than that. I need to be stronger than that. I’ll show him that I don’t care. No matter what happened. No matter what I did or said. Or how immensely out of character he got me to act by relentlessly pushing me to the confines of my mind. I lost to him. Again. I’m disappointed in myself again. For having surrendered. For having let all that happen to me. For having lasciviously incite him to make me his. For having ignored the good sense I should have demonstrated. Still. I will get over it. Because I will not yield to anyone’s will over mine. Ever.

Damn it! It’s his fucking fault that everything got out of hand to start with! I was happy till he wormed his way into my life and screwed everything up. And now he is pitying me? Fucking bastard! I’m sure, as a kid, he must have been the vicious type to catch spiders, pluck their legs up and watch their dismantled body squirm on the pavement with wide eyes full of mercy until the spectacle became too repetitive and boring. I feel like the spider right now. Seems like with adulthood, pulling out insects’ limbs lost its interest compared to the fun of harassing younger inexperienced men. Insects should thank me to be their replacement. Got it mosquitoes? I got blown and fingered for your sake! Be grateful. Oh. My. God! Panic. Panic. Headache. Panic. Breathe. He’s dead. Breathe.

His hand sneakily slid on the side of my neck to cup my cheek in his warm palm, drawing lazy circles with his forefinger on my temple and he had the nerves to gave me one of his hypocrite comforting smiles which made me want to puke my guts out right on his king sized bed. What? Want to cuddle after the little foreplay? Sorry but I’m not a fucking teddy bear. More like a very angry grizzly with a fetish of cutting off the head of wealthy blond arrogant perverts. Yep.

I slapped his hand away and pounced on him with a low growl, launching my fist at his chin but he grabbed it midway and yanked me towards him as if he was expecting the blow to come. Shit! Why does he have so quick reflexes? Totally unfair! And no, I’m not the one who’s slow. Damn it! I lost my flimsy balance and clumsily crashed on his very naked chest, a squeaky yelp escaping my lips when my forehead violently bumped on his collarbone, making my head painfully throb, a vague of nausea immediately hitting me but I swallowed it away.

Please, whoever prepares his meals, stop feeding him calcium. His bones are already strong enough, at least to break my skull as my not very manly scream can attest!

The bastard wasted no time to check if I was alright since, you know, it would ruin his heartless beast’s image to show some care, and flipped us over, making me heavily crash on my back under him. Ow. Forget wrestling when you suffer from a hangover. Bad idea. Makes you want to throw up. Eck. Think I’ll stop moving and close my eyes for a little while, just to let the room some time to stop spinning around. Yep. All better. Or not.

I blinked my eyes opened only to stare in his twinkling blue gaze, openly challenging me, his lips adorned with an amused smile which gave me the creeps as I realized that letting my guard down in the bastard’s presence was clearly not the smartest idea that had crossed my mind. Unless I secretly desired to end up in another compromising position, pinned to the mattress under his weight, with his thighs straddling my hips, his broad chest covering my leaner torso, pale skin against tanned one, his fingers laced with mine to press my hands down on each side of my head, his head buried in the crook of my neck, his hot breath caressing my ear, tickling, teasing, making my body strangely heat up and my heart pound hard in my chest screaming danger. I assure that was definitely not my secret desire freely expressing itself.

Oh shit! Must get my naked ass out of here now! I tried to kneed him in the balls but I frustratingly found out that I wasn’t able to lift up my legs, wrapped in the silky sheets like a fucking mummy as though by magic, or cause my fucking lower half had, one way or another, got tangled in the soft fabric I was dreaming to rip off in pieces. Very tiny pieces. Because sheets are evil. Not as evil as the fucking smirk floating on the devil’s lips but almost! Shit!

“Already this feisty in the morning? Seems like I didn’t sate you last night, my greedy little pup. You could have told me you still wanted to play. It would have been my pleasure to oblige to such a pleasant request.” He purred huskily, nonchalantly showering my nose and forehead with light kisses while I was lying under him, physically defeated but devoured by a raging fury that drifted all the colors from my face, glaring at him with my lips pursed, ready to bite him if I got the chance.

“You asshole! How could you do this to me?” I violently shouted at him, not paying any attention to the painful pounding of my head, aggravated by each loud word I pronounced, fully concentrated on supporting with all the defiance I could muster the satisfied glint that made his icy eyes beautifully sparkle. “Stupid rapist! Have you no shame? You could at least show some guilt.” I bitterly snarled, throwing my head back in the pillows to escape his persistent mouth until he paused in his attack to stare down at me with a religious calm.

“Now, now, I wouldn’t consider it rape since, if I recall it correctly, you were the one who offered, weren’t you?” He chastised as if I was a little kid which only served in fueling my explosive furor.

“I was fucking drunk out of my mind, you dumbass!” I roared back viciously, my chest violently heaving as I was trying my hardest to get a hold of my nerves.

“And?” He chuckled. “What’s your point?” He inquired, suddenly serious, never breaking eyes contact, silently agreeing to receive all the hateful glares I was sending his way. “Are you trying to tell me that I should have turned you down when, for once, you willingly came on to me?” He mocked me with a cold sneer. “Is that what you think?” He inquired with a cruel smile.

I was speechless. How was it even possible for him to be so quiet about it when I was trying my hardest to contain my boiling temper and doing a very lousy job? Answer: he was not the one tied up who took some fingers up his ass. Damn him!

“You see, my dear Marcus, you place too much trust in human nature. No man in their right mind would have pushed you away when so seductively tempted, especially since you were drunk and vulnerable. You played with fire, offering more than you could take. You got burnt. Your mistake.” He said with a sober tone that sufficed to bring a pang of hurt deep into my soul.

I averted my eyes in shame, feeling the blood rise to color my cheeks and neck, obvious proof of my acknowledgement of my own culpability. He just had to rub salt in open wounds, huh?

“Most people would have gone all the way and gobbled you up. You’re lucky I had enough self control to stop before it went too far.” He casually continued with a warning look that made me shiver to the very core.

Was he expecting me to be grateful that he didn’t fuck me? That asshole! He knew from the start that I was not serious, that I was trying to escape from his grasp. He played with me no better than he would have with a chew toy. And he dares preach to me as if he was an angel? What a fucking hypocrite!

“I can only hope for your own good that you don’t ask just about anyone to do you.” He chastised me with a playful smirk. I saw red.

“Too bad. I really do love to pace the streets butt naked with a sign on my back begging for just that!” I hissed sarcastically, making him burst into laughter. A very musical and loud laughter. That wasn’t supposed to be funny, damn it!

“What a devious mind you have here, my young friend. Next time, don’t hesitate to call me. I wouldn’t miss this surely enticing as hell view.” He remarked, barely containing a chuckle as my face flushed reddened.

“Fuck you!” I whispered through clenched teeth.

A malicious glint sparkled in his blue eyes before I even realized what I had said.

“Quite tempting but I’ll pass. You’re a tad too pissed to make the game interesting.” He tauntingly snickered, pressing his chest a little more against mine, making me uncontrollably shiver at the touch and shortening my breath. Hey, he’s heavy. That’s why it’s hard to breathe, you perv’.

“Consider last night as a precious lesson. Grown-ups never play fair, pup.”

Who you’re calling a pup, dimwit? Wait till I can move. I’ll show you what a pup can do. A vague of nausea hit me. I took several deep breaths and tried to slow down the wild rhythm of my heart. Maybe I’ll wait until I recover from my hangover to use my claws. Urgh. Good idea.

“Anyway, none of this would have happened if you had respected the rules. I made it clear previously that you were mine and mine alone. I don’t like sharing my things. I only took back and claimed what belongs to me.” He explained with a devilish grin spreading at the corner of his lips.

“What’s the fucking problem with you? I’m not a damned object, got it? And stop treating me like your fucking possession! It’s freaky!” I suddenly exploded with renewed strength, wriggling under him even if I knew I wouldn’t actually be able to overpower him, my breath harsh and my cheeks burning with rage. I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!

“You’re not a morning person, are you?” He observed with a contemptuous smile, purposely ignoring my outburst and my fruitless struggling, which enraged me even more. “You were certainly not that cold and whiny when I was sucking you off last night.” He nonchalantly remarked and I froze under him, all thoughts of fighting completely forgotten as I revived the disturbing memories of the previous night once again.

Of my cock disappearing in his warm mouth.
Of his luscious lips encircling my length and suckling hard.
Of the rain of overwhelming sensations that ensued, drenching me in waves of pleasure.
Oh God!
Just kill me.

“Maybe you have a complaint about my technique, huh? Were you not satisfied?” He crudely asked, faking interest, seemingly delighted by the boiling anger he awakened in me.

I’m not that childish to retort that he indeed has a lousy technique, am I? He sucks. He did. Literally. I was itching to skin him alive, inch by inch, very very slowly, but since he was still holding me firmly still, I just shut up and gritted my teeth, shooting him a death glare. Not as satisfying but it will do. At least for now. But be aware of one thing, people who have the talent to turn peaceful lamb into blood thirsty monsters do exist.

“Hum, considering the cute moans you let out, I believe I did a real good job though. Even had you beg for more…” He continued in a teasing tone.

“Am I supposed to say thanks for the treat? Excuse me if I don’t cover you in praises, but, you see, since it was my first blowjob, I can’t really appreciate your exploit. I bet you have a lot of practice so I guess it was okay.” I replied casually, as if it didn’t faze me at all to analyze his sexual performance from the receiving end.

The offended look that lingered on his face just a fugitive instant was a good enough incentive for me to continue.

“Or, maybe, you suck at it and that’s why you need to use impressionable virgins to improve yours skills. As long as they can’t compare, you don’t take a big risk, do you?” I taunted him with a smirk of my own.

Oh yes, darling, two could play a game!

“It seems like yesterday’s lesson was not enough to wise you up, huh? Don’t push your luck too far, Marcus. My patience is wearing thin.” He warned in an icy tone.

Oh? It seems that I hit a sore spot. Does he lack confidence in his bed abilities? Snicker. Snicker. Pretty funny considering he had promised to bang me hard about every time we met, and bragged about how he would be able to bind me to him with sex, to train my body to only respond to his touch, and blah, blah, blah, overly confident asshole boasting, blah, blah. Kinda touchy on the subject for a so-called sex God, right?

“Oh! Did I piss you off? I’m sooooo sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your pride. I’m just stating the facts, that’s all. Since you insisted on me being honest…” I apologized innocently while tilting my head to the side in a cute puppy pose.

“You should really stop provoking me. Unless you want me to fuck you brainless right this instant to show you just how skilled I really am in bed.” He growled in a low voice, thrusting his hips against mine through the sheets.

And here comes the bragging again. Am I afraid by this change in the atmosphere? Fuck no! I would redecorate his bed with the contents on my stomach before he even managed to put a finger on my lower half. Not very glamorous, but it’s the most efficient self-defense technique I can use right now.

“Ew. I think I’ll take your word for it.” I vigorously nodded, relieved when he stopped the motion of his pelvis because that was starting to get at me.

What can I say? I’m sensitive. He snickered victoriously, making me once again unable to stop the sharp comment working its way up my throat just to get even.

“The thing is, if you’re too lousy and hurt me, I won’t be able to stand up afterwards and I’ll have to take a day off from work. The club would be short in staff and that would mean less profit, and less money in your wallet as a consequence. We wouldn’t have that now, would we?” I pointed out with a perfectly fake professional smile.

His face disappeared in the crook of my neck and he seductively blew a few long breaths on the extra sensitive skin of my nape, making goosebumps crawl on my arms and chest, and heat travel far southern.

“Oh, I’m sure they can manage without you for one night.” He purred in my ear in a hoarse tone only a heavy smoker could muster.

It’ll be less sexy when it develops into a lung cancer, fucking tease. And no, his voice doesn’t affect me the slightest, damn it! He nibbled on the vein pulsing in my neck, slowly licking his way to my jaw, covering it with a rain of short kisses. I threw my head to the side to avoid his tormenting lips but only manage to expose my neck to his lapping tongue. He pressed his cheek against mine. It was firm, soft and warm. And the devil’s. I should ask him what brand of aftershave he uses. Just to kill the mood.

He suddenly nipped on my ear, gently pulling the lobe between his teeth, twirling his tongue around it in an endless caress. I barely managed to bit back a pleasured moan but couldn’t prevent my back to arch just a tiny bit with an uncontrollable roll of my hips, seeking the delicious friction of the sinfully soft sheet sliding on my stiffening member. Oh God! Tell me he didn’t notice that! No comment. That was close. I held my breath, trying to regain control of my body while feeling his hot breath on my hair.

“I promise I’ll nurse you back to health.” He whispered in my ear. He didn’t even bother to hide the lusty innuendos that charged his voice.

“Thanks but no thanks. It’s Saturday. It’s gonna be crowded.” I replied in a hushed tone, not even knowing myself why I felt the need to murmur.

What had happened to make me feel suddenly so calm? It was as if all my anger got discharged in the earlier sexual tension. Scary idea. I shivered.

“Guess you’re right. You know better than me.” He admitted and I was shocked to realize that I had been working at the Velvet Club for four years and had never caught a glimpse of him. Strange.

Time to disturb the fragile serenity that crept upon us by magic. This peaceful aura would have been just perfect in any other situation but in the bastard’s bed, it was just, well, freaky.

“Now that I think about it, what the fuck are you doing here? I mean, I’ve never seen you around. So, did you wake up one morning bored as hell and decided to lighten your day pissing the hell out of one of your employee, or something?” I asked, suddenly curious about his presence’s motivations.

I squirmed on the pillow to put some distance between us, as much as my position was allowing me too, that is, just an inch, but it was enough for him to get the idea and peel his face from mine so that we could face each other again. Cuddle time, over!

“Or something.” He answered, seeming secretly pleased that I took interest in him.

Don’t let it go to your head, asshole! See, if I know why he’s here, maybe I’ll get a clue of when he’ll be gone. And out of my fucking life.

“I’m in vacation.” He added after a long pause, as if debating if he was gonna tell me or not. I’m sure my mouth hung open after hearing that.

“Seriously?” I exclaimed, completely utterly totally not expecting this kind of banal argument.

“It’s true.” He confirmed, his not so happy expression hinting on the fact that might be plastered all over my face that I found it rather pathetic for a young handsome bachelor wealthy as fuck to have nothing more exciting to do than checking on his clubs during his, I suppose rare, time off. Oooops.

Maybe he’s a workaholic. That would be good for me because he wouldn’t be able to afford a distraction. And I can be quite a handful when I really put my mind into it. But I’m sure you’re already aware of that.

“Couldn’t you have a trip on a yacht and get lost somewhere in high-sea like all you rich fellows normally do?” I suggested just to piss him further off.

“I make a point of standing out.” He retorted with a devious smirk.

“Oh, you’re doing pretty well at that.” I immediately agreed. “Yep, you do stand out a lot. As a heartless arrogant son of a bitch, you really are something.” I asserted with a cold glare.

“And we were having such a pleasant conversation…” He sighed falsely dejectedly. “What got you all riled up all of a sudden?”

“Hum, let me think.” I playfully started, noticing that his eyes were looking a shade darker and even colder if possible. “Maybe the fact that you tricked me into going out with you, had your men drag me here, shaming me in front of all my colleagues, and coerced me into a little bondage session… It was just a wee bit too extreme for my taste.” I debited in a rising growl.

He pressed his lips in a thin line, deadly still, his eyes scrutinizing me in a gaze so intense it was starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

“No shit. What did you expect? That I’ll fall head over heels for you after our little quickie and throw myself in your arms while moaning ‘take me! Take me!’? Give me a break!” I snarled, wanting to hurt him as much as the words he had ripped from my throat had hurt back then.

The silence seemed to linger for all eternity. Unnerving. Charged with unsaid emotions in heated glares. As if seizing the enemy. He didn’t move at all. Frozen in his perfection like a marble statue. Blond strands softening the sharp angles of his face. Not even a blink disturbed the stone lifeless picture he was making before my eyes. My heart was beating loudly against my chest. A knot seemed to have constricted my breathing tube, drying my mouth and lips and draining the colors from my face. At this moment, I thought that it hadn’t been such a good idea to have broken the peaceful balance we had naturally reached. To have started the conflict anew. Because, right now, I was afraid of the man looming over me, as if he was going to devour my very being, from the flesh to the soul, captured in the abyss of his eyes.

His seriousness frightened me. As if we were playing a game until now and suddenly had to behave like the adults we were, to put back the masks in place, even in our almost complete state of nudity. To go back to a world where a single unfortunate word could rip your heart in pieces. A world where he was king and me, not even the dirt on his shoes. A world where he had my fate in his hand and could decide to just end it with a snap of his finger. Yeah. The real Julian Evans, not the one that met the eyes, but the one whose torturous envelope you could only just imagine by the impenetrable darkness reflected deep inside his gaze a few seconds before disappearing again, that Julian Evans was a very scary man.

“You’re not as innocent as you make it sound, Marcus.” He articulated slowly, his frank accusation exposed for all to hear.

What the hell? So it’s my fault? In that case, I suppose I’m responsible of the mammoth’s extinction too, huh?

“I really intended to go easy on you since you were supposedly inexperienced.” He continued in a glacial tone, his grip on my wrists getting tighter by the minute, his knuckles turning white from the pressure digging into my flesh, his digits imprinting themselves in my skin in an unconsciously strong hold, possessive, almost desperate, to the point of bruising, to the point of hurting, to the point of marking me again as his.

“But you couldn’t behave for a few hours. No! You had to provoke me by acting like a shameless slut craving for attention. You reaped what you sowed.” He concluded with a sharp intake of breath.

“Who the hell are you calling a slut, you sex-obsessed MOFO? Fuck! I was drunk! Drunk! Is it too hard for that twisted brain of yours to process? I was barely conscious of what I was doing! But you! You! You were perfectly aware of that and took advantage of me anyway. You’re the worst.” I yelled at him, making him slightly flinch cause I was fucking loud but I don’t fucking care even if I made him deaf.

Anger was radiating from us both. Calm, cold, almost reasonable was his. Irrupting like hot lava from every pore of my skin was mine. Destroying the last pieces of sanity I held onto in a death grip in an unsinkable fire. Blinding hate. Trembling fingers. Aching heart. Helpless body unable to fight against him. To win against him. Shaking soul imprisoned by his piercing look. As if he could read through all the shields I systemically built around me my carefully hidden thoughts. As if he could reach my most private sanctuary and tear it down to ashes in a giant tsunami. I wrapped myself tightly in my wrath to protect me. To save me from his inquisitive hold of the feelings I had managed to keep securely caged in the shadiest part of my heart. Save me. Save me.

I glared daggers at the bastard leaning over me, unfazed by his serious and impenetrable expression, my lips twitching as I was preparing some very nasty retort to hurl at his face, just to empty my heart full of venom, cause I didn’t want him to actually believe that he had rendered me speechless with his bold honesty.

“That’s delirious! You dare call me a slut when I’m sure you’ve slept around more than a perverted version of the energizer bunny! Do you even bother remembering the faces of the ones you fucked? Or are you satisfied with a little roll on the sheets with a nameless hunk you picked up or forced as long as the body is decent enough?” I vehemently spat, watching with narrow eyes his gaze darken in a cold and hardened expression.

A long silence ensued, during which only the humming whistle of my short breaths troubled the tense atmosphere.

“What? Cat got your tongue? Nothing to answer to that?” I dared him with a tilt of my head but he obstinately refused to respond to my petty provocation.

I wanted to continue to shout at him but my growl quickly became a strangled yelp when he abruptly forced my arms above my head, gathering both of my wrists in the steel clutch of one of his big hand, the other swiftly moving to my face, firmly clasping my jaw to shut my mouth, making my teeth knock together and me bite on my tongue in the process, the coppery taste of blood invading my mouth, making me gag in disgust.

“Does drawing me as a player make it easier for you to ignore your feelings towards me?” He retorted in a neutral tone, but his eyes were blazing in the sunlight, betraying his true feelings by radiating his perfectly controlled but burning temper, making me lower my gaze to entrancingly stare at the vein pulsating on his neck at a strangely calm pace.

“What feelings? I hate you! I want nothing from you. Except that you get lost and die!” I hissed deviously, my green eyes turning almost black as, I swear, I had never been more pissed in my entire life.

“Sorry, can’t do that.” He replied seriously while caressing my temple with his thumb.

Was it a hint of sadness in his voice? A flash of hurt in his eyes? Nah! You’re dreaming awake. That man has no heart. He’s a machine. Strong. Obstinate. Lethal. Just like Terminator. Or Mister T. In a more sexy version.

“Why, for fuck’s sake, can’t you leave me the hell alone?” I groaned in desperation, my wrists straining against his palm to find some leverage to push him away. To no avail.

It only served to dig his manicured nails under my skin, drawing a little blood. Cool. Between the teeth marks, the hickeys and the finger shaped imprints on my skin, I’m gonna have a collection of bruises to make an emo kid jealous. Maybe, I should reconsider the gothic look as a valuable option as long as he’s around. Just to avoid some very disturbing questions. Such as ‘Oh! Did your lover do that to you? You must love wild sex!’. See what I mean?

He quickly pecked me on the lips, his warm mouth only pressing against mine a short time, but I was too dazed to react fast enough to tear his lip opened. Rabid dog is my second name.

“Because you want me as much as I do.” He calmly stated, locking his clouded gaze on mine, flicking my chin with his finger, making me frown in the process.

I let out a short heartless laughter and pinned him with my eyes.

“How conceited of you!” I snickered cruelly. “Sorry but you couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t! And never will! How many times do I need to repeat myself for it to go through your thick head?” I snarled though my gritted teeth but it only made his smirk grow in a creepy sardonic grin.

A murderous glint lit up in his eyes and he let out a taunting chuckle that sent goosebumps all along my body. My heart skipped a bit. Shit! That bastard is a real genius to scare the shit out of people.

“You would be more convincing if you weren’t getting hard every time I lay a finger on you.” He remarked casually, pressing his body closer to mine with rather explicit back and forth movements of his pelvis that made me quiver.

Ok! Ok! I got the hint! Fucking. Stop. Doing. That! Is it my fault if I’m sex deprived, fuckhead? I’m a healthy man in his twenties after all. All I should be able to think about must lie in three words: parties, alcohol and sex! Yeah. Or not.

“Maybe I’m so horny that anyone would do. No special attraction to you, duh.” I suggested while licking my lips in a sensual and voluntary provocative dance.

“How long are you going to lie to yourself? You’re as stubborn as a mule!” He exclaimed with an imperceptible shake of his head, the single visible clue of his inner exasperation.

God! That was getting better and better! I thought I was a slut? Who would want to bang a mule? I wonder.

“It’s the kettle calling the pot black in my opinion. You’re the one who barged into my life as if you owned the place, claimed me as your lover not letting me have a say in the matter, and constantly forced yourself on me, taking whatever you want anyway even if I refuse, and I am stubborn? Are you so used of people worshipping the air you breathe that you forgot the meaning of such a simple word as no? Are any means ok as long as I end up in your bed? What are you gonna do next if I don’t give up, huh, rape me? God! That’s totally insane! You even went as far as setting some fucked up rules to control me and using every weakness you can find to blackmail me to follow your demented whims. When will you have enough of fucking with me?” I screamed in a, well, not so manly way.

“Believe me, I’m serious about you, Marcus.” He corrected me, turning my head with his hand so that I was compelled to face him, but I stubbornly looked away. And no, I’m not a donkey!

“Liar! You’re such a fucking liar!” I swore through my teeth, his grip on my jaw becoming more insistent by the minute to force my attention back to him. “How can I trust you when all you do is playing with my mind and manipulate me! You don’t even care of how much harm you do to me!” I accused him, gazing at him through shiny eyes, tears from the exhaustion I accumulated during the night threatening to make their way down my cheeks.

“I do care about you. I realize now that I came on to you too strongly and that such a forceful approach was probably not the best tactic to win you over.” He admitted with an apologetic pinch of his lips. “But life is too short to have regrets. I had enough things taken away from me in the past to decide that I’d get everything that catches my eyes whatever the cost.” He pursued, his warm and soft hand cupping my cheek in a strangely gentle caress, his fingers lightly brushing my hair behind my ear. “You’re sufficiently precious to me to put all my efforts in getting you to be my lover.” I opened my mouth to respond but his finger on my lips made me pause. “You don’t even begin to realize how unique and irresistible you are! Strong. But fragile at the same time. So true to your feelings. A real jewel in this fake world.” He whispered soothingly, almost lovingly, his eyes taking in all the expressions that marked my face: doubt, anger, but also a tiny bit a secret satisfaction that was unnaturally warming my heart.

Would I be gained at his cause with some sweet cheap words? Hell no! Who do you take me for? I’m not some naïve chick craving for romance.

“Stop joking! As if I’d eat that crap! No matter how good your looks or how much money you earn, you’re still just a coward, resorting to violence and blackmail who doesn’t want to accept the damn fact that I’d rather skin myself alive inch by inch with a spoon than be with you! You’re pathetic!” I ended up out of breath, my chest heaving, my stomach churning painfully, feeling the insuppressible urge to throw up, wondering if my treacherous body had decided to commit the ultimate betrayal by trying to kill me.

“You’re the coward one, here.” Please? “You’re so afraid of getting hurt by others that you keep everyone at bay. You’re not letting anyone in, in fright they might see that despite you’re tough attitude, you’re as vulnerable as a baby when it comes to others’ opinion of you.” He retorted with a know-it-all attitude.

“What are you, now? A shrink? Come on, we met, what, three days ago and you’re talking as if you’ve got me all figured out! Stop acting as if you know me.” I snapped.

If I wanted counseling, I’d already have found a sexy doctor with a killer sofa I’d die to steal from his office.

“I don’t pretend to know you. I only know what you’re willing to say and to show. That’s why I asked you out. To get to know you.” He gently explained.

“And you hoped that getting better acquainted with my ass would help?” I bit back vehemently, vividly remembering last night’s events.

With all the hardcore details.
Like the squelching sounds of his fingers thrusting in and out of my ass. Eck.
Aren’t you supposed to block your memory when you suffer a trauma? Don’t seem to work so well in my case.

“Look at you! Hiding yourself behind this rebuffing sarcastic appearance… You’re not fooling anyone, you know.” He chuckled softly and slid a finger under my chin to my Adam apple, tracing its path up and down when I swallowed hard.

“Indeed, I met you only three days ago but I already noticed how you’re consistently avoiding interacting with people you might get a crush on. Because you’re too afraid you’d have to get out of your way to share more of yourself than you’re ready to, to stop living for yourself only. You’d probably come to care for another so desperately that you’d not feel complete unless you’re with him, overwhelmed by the desire to possess your lover as much as give yourself to him, and you dread that. You’re afraid that things might change against your will and you wouldn’t be able to adapt. That’s what’s frightening you and that’s why you reject me so obstinately because you’re terrified of what’d become of you if I were to leave you, all alone. You’re lonely but you elude people like the plague because you can’t stand the very idea of being abandoned. Don’t you realize that you miss the better part of life by preventing yourself from letting go? Do you really wish to stay an empty shell for the rest of your life? Are you so scared of getting hurt that you’ll never give anyone a chance to love you for what you really are? Can’t you see that it’d be the right thing to do to leave your fears behind and risk taking my hand?” He paused and shook his head.

“You can brush me off with all your might like you usually do, but let me warn you that it won’t work this time. I’m not going away, Marcus. I will stick by your side until you’ve got no corner to hide left. I can’t promise you that we’ll work out. Or that we’ll be happy and together till we become old rippled men but I’m willing to try. I think that this fire between us might be something. I want it to be something. I want you to be mine. But, more than that, I want you to want me. Won’t you give us a try, Marcus?” He pleaded passionately, his sincerity unquestionable, his gravity chilling.

He was right. Damn it! So very right. I sighed deeply, screwing up my eyes to the point of seeing black spot as if it could prevent me from listening. Each one of his words felt like a bullet shot deep inside my heart. I wanted to escape. Please let me escape. I struggled against his hold to run away from his grasp that was clenching more than my wrists, invisibly, insidiously. He didn’t concede me any leeway, not even an ounce, caressing my hair like he would have with a little kid. I took a deep breath, my heart stammering in my chest, resonating up to my ears in a dizzying uproar.

Never in my life have I been so completely defeated, finding me unable to fight once again, like always, this fucking selfish devil of a man who was so fully determined to bend me to his will that he didn’t hesitate to go to such dreadful extents as using the inexperience of my body against me. Awakening such an intense pleasure in me. Tempting me till I succumbed to it. Making me lose myself entirely in his possessive hold. Forcing me to fall even lower in acknowledging the magnetic effect he mysteriously had on me. How can I have let him turn me into a mere wimp so easily? Damn it! I can’t stand to be so pathetic. Do I have no willpower at all that I can’t keep myself from moaning even when such degrading things were done to me? Have I always been such a pussy?

Fuck! That was so hard to take, making me confused, upset and frightened at the same time, even more as I couldn’t deny the mysterious power he had over me anymore. Not after he had made me forget everything, even how to breathe, only with ravaging kisses. Not after he had contemplated my naked body all night long. Not after he had made me come twice in a row. Not after he had exposed all my being to his hungry eyes. Why was I so enraptured by such an abominable pushy asshole? What was wrong with me to have found a sense of relief and safety in his dominating embrace, in agreeing to lose control under his lead? So many questions were shattering my dazed mind but the answers were desperately out of my reach, disappearing in thin air as soon as I got near them. The only disturbing certainty I achieved to come up with was that his presence strangely made me feel for the first time since long ago, as if all the burdens weighing me down magically vanished in his strong arms. But I couldn’t tolerate it.

I hated myself for willingly indulging in the smothering comfort he was providing me. I hated myself for showing this weak side of me to an apparently flawless man like him. I hated the fact that my upfront rejection and defensive attitude, usually enough to drive people away from me, were useless to keep him from pursuing me, from showering me with his twisted and unwelcome affection. He was relentlessly piercing my shield and I knew it was only a matter of time until my soul was bared in front of him, sadly offered for him to crush. And it scared me. The more he was getting closer to me, forcing this intimacy between us, punctually flustering me with his overwhelmingly gentle hugs, the more the need to run away was becoming urgent, pressing me to push him away, him who was effortlessly able to see right through me in only three days time. I had to escape quickly or I would break for sure and give in to his constant seduction. I would fall in this devil’s web, be drowned in his shadow, with no possibility of ever retreating back to my previous uncaring life. Once you’ve opened up to others, there’s no turning back. Not after having tasted the warmth of another being. Being isolated again would rip your heart apart. Loneliness would be unbearable.

What was more frightening than showing your real self to someone else? Nothing. But here he was, mercilessly compelling me to reveal it, to expose my inner wounds for him to heal or to worsen. Relying on someone like him, stronger, powerful, full of confidence, with whom I could share the doubts and fears a life of solitude had impregnated in every pore of my skin in hope he could lessen them, was an option I couldn’t afford. Because I knew I couldn’t trust him. It was way too dangerous. I couldn’t be more than a fling for him whereas he was affecting me in more ways than I was ready to admit, distressing my heart as much as making it at peace. Why? If only I could understand why he was able to move me like nobody else had before. He was constantly forcing himself on me, bossing me around without even a bit of consideration for what I really wanted, and yet, when he was there, with me, near me, touching me, in me, it was as if a new palette of colors was reviving my grayish landscape, stirring me back to life and making my heart thump like it hadn’t done once. A part of me was desperately craving to surrender to him but I needed to seal it deeply, because I couldn’t let him get any closer, not while I was still struggling against my own feelings, not until I found the strength to resist his sour temptation.

My helplessness in front of him was wearing me down like an incurable disease, viciously fueled by each of our confrontations as the realization that he was an opponent way out of my league dug deeper in my soul, making our battle’s outcome taking a shape I didn’t dare picture, in fright that his strength and confidence would overcome my futile resistance in the end. Maybe, yeah, maybe, I would not win this time.

“I….” I gulped, interrupting my trail of thoughts to attempt an articulated answer. “I don’t know! Stop confusing me!” I begged him with pleading eyes.

“I’m not the bad guy you’re so set of making me.” He murmured tenderly. “Come on.” He coerced me, kissing the corner of my lips. “Surrender.” He whispered and it sounded so sinful at the moment that it made me shiver.

“No…” I protested weakly against his mouth as he deepened the kiss, hesitantly thrusting his tongue in my mouth. He stopped the kiss a few seconds later but it was enough for me to strengthen my resolve.

“No. I don’t want to. We’re too different. It would never work between us.” I shook my head sadly as I was not sure I could take much more at this point before breaking down like the poor weakling I am.

He eyed me carefully a few instants, then sent me a genuine smile. Wow. His teeth are so white they’re almost hurting my sight.

“You seem so convinced.” He remarked.

“I am. Look, we can’t even stay together more than a few seconds without fighting.” I blurted out, not really knowing what else to say to convince him. It was enough proof that we’d be going right into the wall, right?

“Angry sex is the best ever.” He smirked as a slight tint of red crept up my cheeks.

I don’t think I wanted to know about that. Ever. And surely, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of angry sex with the devil.

“You’re such a perv’.” I snorted but couldn’t help but laugh, relaxing in his embrace.

“And you’re a prude with a sailor mouth.” He retorted in a teasing tone.

A sailor, huh? As long as he doesn’t force me to dress up as one, I think I can work with it.

“Come on!” He growled lowly, nipping at my neck playfully. “Go on a date with me!”

“Is it a demand or a request?” I asked seriously.

Hey! It’s better to be cautious, in case he sends his goons again to drag my ass where he wants it to be. That is, if I got it right, in his bed.

“Please would you go out with me?” He inquired, almost kindly. Almost as if he was really awaiting an answer from me. Almost as if he would really take it into consideration. Keyword being: almost.

I was so startled that I gasped. Is that really ‘please’ I heard? Too bad I can’t go back in time to listen to his sweet request again. I’m surprised he even knows how to use this word. Anyway, back to business.

“No. You’re my boss.”

Another valuable point for me. Mixing professional and private matters is definitely not a good idea. Or so I heard. And no, I’m not playing hard to get. I just don’t want to date anyone, that’s all. Even the dream guy of every gay on earth.

“You have no private life.” He said boldly, his trademark smirk back in place at the corner of his lips.

“That’s not the point!” I groaned. What if I’m a loner? Got a problem with that?

“One date.” He required, but it resembles more a threatening growl than the begging of a desperate man.

“Jeez! You won’t let go of me until I say yes, will you?” I exclaimed with a dejected look.

He smiled knowingly, as if satisfied that I had finally got the way his mind worked. The one who didn’t already assume that he would use underhanded forceful over-confident alpha tactics against me to get his way raise your hand. Nobody? Guess you’re not that slow on the uptake. Me neither.

“No.” He leisurely confirmed my dreaded suspicions for good measure.

I eyed him from the corner of my eyes and sighed. “How is it different than before?” I wondered with a sly grin.

“I asked. Normally, I’d just have found a tricky way to make you.” He offered as a justification.

Who isn’t convinced? Hum. Hard question. Maybe the one who’s been pinned under him for a few hours. Just a blind guess.

“Hey! What a great improvement!” I cried out sarcastically. Oops! I didn’t plan to let that out loud.

He shrugged, letting my comment slide, as if he couldn’t care less that I denigrated his progress. Or rather, lack of progress.

“So? What do you say?” He requested with a pointed tilt of his head.

Do I have a choice? Answer: of course not! Why did you even ask, silly!

“Guess it won’t kill me.” I agreed, just to gain time on the torture session that was sure to follow was I to be obstinate about my refusal.

I rolled my eyes, thinking I might just get struck by lighting because of my blatant lie. Divine justice they say. He had the nerve to smirk. Bastard.

“Can you release me now? I need to use the bathroom.” I demanded quietly, a little bit embarrassed.

It was as if I was back in first grade, in the class of Mrs. Pickles – that’s not her real name, but since the sour smell of pickles stuck to her skin better than super glue, that’s how I called her in my head - when I still had to raise my hand to politely ask if I could go pee. In front of my snickering little classmates. Traumatic experience.

The devil easily entangled himself from the sheets and got up, while I wrestled to sit up against the headboard, my eyes glued to his broad back, watching the muscles flex as he moved towards a large cupboard. He was only wearing a pair of silk black boxers, riding low on his hips, enclosing strong and powerful thighs, ending in muscular calves, covered by a thin duvet of short curly hair. The morning light peeking through the curtains was dancing on his pale skin while he nonchalantly stretched, his arms gracefully stretched above his head. Handsome and manly. Fuck! Did I really think that? Only one option left. Deny! Deny! Deny!

“It’s the second door on your left.” He chuckled, arms crossed on his chest, interrupting my dreamy staring session. He would be the perfect Ken. If we could cut the sound.

I turned my head in the said direction, slowly so that the room would not spin much, and discovered a sliding panel partly opened, I hadn’t even noticed last night. No comment.

“Take a shower while you’re at it. You reek of sex.” He snidely remarked before a flying pillow attack hit its target right in the face. Because he was busy putting a pair of jeans on. I wonder what happened. Was that pillow in my hand just seconds ago? Bad hand!

“And who’s fault is it, asshole?” I growled, narrowly escaping from the counterattack of my fluffy associate in crime.

I peeled the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around me in a sort of toga, like in ancient Rome, taking careful steps to the bathroom. Between the pain that shot in my lower back when I put my feet on the floor, my throbbing headache and the clenching of my stomach, I was not certain of which one would get me first. I take the bets!

I pushed the clear wood panel to the side just enough for me to stagger in the bathroom, blindly felt the cold tiles to find the switch, squeezing my eyes shut when a dazzling light erupted in the room. I blinked until my vision was clear enough for me to stop holding myself up on the wall. Wow. This is bathroom paradise. It’s bigger than my whole apartment.

Damn! The shower is the size of my bathroom. I quickly took care of my needs and hopped under the spray of burning hot water, letting it drip on my hair and down my back. I grabbed a bottle of shampoo and squeezed some in my hand, liking the sweet flowery scent of it, and took my sweet time massaging my skull until the throbbing was dulled. When clean, I got out of the shower with a hint of sadness and patted myself dry with a white soft towel I found on the basin.

Now that my mind was less cloudy, I could see a new problem rising. Clothes, clothes, clothes… Where’re my clothes? Where I left them yesterday, I suppose. In a messy pile on the floor. Next to the coffee table. Crap! The perspective of going out in just a towel or a sheet was thrilling! Well, it was a little late to feel modest now that he had seen everything. Damn! Steady yourself! Be brave! I knotted the towel solidly on my hips and peeked in the bedroom but it was empty. I trotted out happily. The bed was made and on the nearest corner was a neat heap containing the outfit I was wearing yesterday. Thank God! Or the devil. Whatever.

I got dressed in a hurry, folding my waiter apron neatly, tucked it under my arm and marched through the only other door of the room. I was in the living-room I briefly caught sight of last night, before I was plastered on the couch if I remember correctly. The bastard was comfortably sitting in a leather armchair, a fuming cigarette between his lips, dressed in a cotton white shirt and blue faded jeans. Seeing him in casual wears was strange, but he was still as impressive as in a suit. In a new street gang member way, without the tattoos and scars. His eyes rose towards me as soon as I opened the door and silently motioned for me to sit on the sofa.

“Feeling better?” He asked, pinching his halfway smoked fag between his index and thumb before crushing it on the ashtray. Rich people do have weird quirks.

“I’m not so keen on throwing myself by the window anymore to escape my headache. So, yes, I guess I feel a little better.” I groaned in a slightly hoarse voice. I was feeling refreshed and the shower was heaven but I’m not about to admit it.

“What a baby!” He mocked teasingly.

I arched my brows, not even bothering to answer to his childish taunting. Does he even realize that this kind of comment would make him a pedophile, huh?

“Want some painkiller?” He offered, standing up when I vigorously nodded to rummage into a cupboard a few instants.

He handed me a bottle of water and a few pills I identified as Tylenol. I swallowed the pills with big gulps of cold water, letting a few drops roll on my chin and neck. He gently ruffled my head until I swatted his hand away.

“You shouldn’t drink so much if the best you can do is hold your alcohol like a little girl.” He snorted.

Hey! I’m a man, fuckhead! What do you have eyes for? And no, my dick is not that short that it could be mixed up with a vagina. Take a look at an anatomy book, retard!

“What are you? My mum?” I muttered back. “It’s getting late. I’d like to go now.”

I have no clue of what time it could be. But I do want out. Desperately. Away from him. And his lingering familiar touches that I was more and more getting used to.

“Alright.” He simply agreed, grabbing my forearm just above my elbow to help me up. “Nick will give you a ride back.” He said while escorting me to the lift’s door.

And the one who knows who Nick is wins the prize!

“That’s not necessary.” I retorted, doubling my steps to avoid the persistent on my lower back.

“I insist.” He replied in a tone clearly implying that there would be no further discussion on the topic.

To be honest, I don’t care. As long as I’m out of here, in one piece, minus the few layers of skin he bit off yesterday, I’m happy. Plus, the Jinx was more than fifteen blocks away and I’d take an eternity to reach my neighborhood by bus. So, it was all good in the end.

“Thanks I guess.” I murmured while he slid a key in a discreet slit in the wall.

The lift’s doors sprang opened around a minute later and I held myself back not to just jump in and smash the down button. His arm sneaked around my waist and he pressed me against his chest, leaning his head down and to the side. Too close. Too close! His lips met mine and I let him kiss me again. His tongue lapped on my lower lip and I obediently opened my mouth, letting the warm muscle travel along my palate. I was rendered breathless, my hands fisting the fabric of his shirt in a desperate hold. I had just let him kiss me without a fight. Willingly. Oh. My. Fucking. God! I’m insane.

“I’ll be out of town for business all week.” He informed me while guiding me in the lift. “Be prepared, Marcus. When I’m back, I’ll make you mine.” He promised before the doors slid shut.