Different Interests, Different Lives

It didn’t take Chris long to move in; especially with Sam and Whitney’s help. Not long after he did, a lawyer that was assigned to him came to speak with him at Sam’s house to prepare Chris for the hearing.



“I’m not going.” Chris stated coldly.



The man looked at him before rubbing his chin, “Why?”



“I’m just not.” He stared at the heavy man with cold and unemotional eyes. “We did nothing wrong, I’m not going to testify against him.”



The lawyer looked a bit surprised but he got over it and sighed, “He was sexually harassing you Chris, molesting you. He told you things to brain wash you into thinking he actually cared for you so that you would fall for it and do what he wanted. He’s a manipulator and a disgusting…”



“Shut up!” Chris stood and glared at him. He wasn’t going to say anymore than he had, but he didn’t think he could take it if he listened anymore. “Just shut up! That’s not true and I don’t want to hear your little sympathy routine. I love him as much as he loves me.”



“Chris, those are words he put into your….”



“Fuck you!” Chris stomped into the house and up the stairs to the temporary room he shared with Sam. He flung himself on the bed in between Whitney and Sam who were waiting for him while he talked with the lawyer.



Whitney pat him on the back and asked, “He wants you to testify?”



Chris nodded into the sheets before sitting up. “I can’t do it, I won’t. I actually really don’t know what to do. If I testify, he’ll go to jail, and I already know that if I don’t, the judge might think I’m too scared to face him in court and send him to jail anyways. Either way, he’s going to jail.”



Sam looked at him then away. “I’m sorry this had to happen to you Chris. HE was probably the best thing to come to your life…”



“Don’t I know it.”





The trial went through and to no great surprise to Chris, Matt was jailed. He tried to hold out on some hope that he wouldn’t but he was. What did surprise Chris was not long after the news, Chris received a phone

call from the jail one day.



“Hello?”



“Chris? Oh, thank goodness. I’ve been calling everyday but you’re never there.” Matt’s voice crackled from the other line out of bad reception. Even so, Chris couldn’t mistake that voice. He had only ran it through his head over and over since he was separated from him. “Sam sent me the number.”



Chris ignored the statement about Sam. He took the cordless into the other room and sat in a chair, keeping silent for a moment before murmuring, “I’ve been looking for a job. That’s why I haven’t been here.”



Matt was silent a moment on the other end. He must have surprised by this answer because after his silence, he cleared his throat and asked, in a strange and quiet voice, “Why?”



“I don’t know. I just feel like it,” Chris could feel himself ache all over again for him. “How are you?”



“Good as I can be here. You?” On the other side, Matt ran his fingers through his hair.



“Alright I guess. I miss you,” Chris couldn’t think of anything else to say, or a better way to say it, but it was the truth of the matter.



“I miss you too,” Matt whispered, his voice straining, then he was silent a minute The only way Chris knew he was there was the crackling at the other end of the line. “You, you still have that money you inherited right?”



Matt’s voice almost pleaded with him and Chris was confused by this question. “Yeah I-I still do.”



“Chris, you could get me out of here! The bail is set at no more than five or six thousand,” Matt’s voice was excited and the excitement was growing as he continued talking about this idea, but Chris didn’t feel the same. “If you sent it down with, with Sam or someone I could get out of here and we can live together again.”



He rambled on for a bit and as he did, Chris’ heart broke even more. It broke because he knew he wouldn’t be able to do this for him. This is going to hurt you Matt, and I wish I did have to. I wish I could get you out. I want to see you so badly. “I can’t Matt.”



Matt stopped mid-sentence and paused before asking, “Why? You have the money, so why not?”



“Because…” Chris heard the front door open and Sam’s mom shouted out she was home. “Matt, I gotta go.”



“Chris? Wait, why cant you? Dammit Chris!” Matt’s fist banged something in the background and it made the receiver of the phone crackle horribly a minute. He calmed down a bit then apologized. “Just tell me why you can’t…please…”



“I-I just cant. Look, Sam’s parents are home, so I gotta go.” Chris got up and began to walk slowly towards the door. “Don’t call back here, okay? I don’t want his parents to find out.”



“Chris…I love you,” the voice was weak and sad coming out of the receiver.



“I love you too, Matt,” He hung up and went to put the phone on the hook when Sam’s mom asked if he was done. “Yeah I am.”



He gave it to her and then went upstairs to sit on his makeshift bed in Sam’s room. There he thought of Matt and wondered if it was the right thing to do to him, to himself. Just the thought of leaving him there sent a pain through his chest. Finally, he ended up deciding it was and he closed his eyes and rolled over onto his side. He was like that for a bit until Sam came into the room and sat on the bed.



“What’s up?” He asked, sipping a diet coke as he did, “You don’t look so hot.”



“Matt called,” Chris hopped up onto Sam’s bed next to him. “We talked for a bit.”



Sam downed the rest of the soda and set it on his nightstand to be thrown away later. “How is he?”



“He’s alright I guess.” Chris sat there, mulling over the phone call from Matt. He missed him, he missed him terribly, but that aching hole in his chest, the one that he had when Matt was first taken away, began to hurt less and less. Was it because he was only being used by Matt, and he was realizing it? No. Chris wouldn’t believe that, he refused to. He looked at Sam a minute and then looked away, a thought creeping into his mind as he sat there, dwelling on the doubts that were worming themselves into him. What if it’s not only Matt? Do I feel the same about other guys too? Chris thought to himself then looked at Sam. “Sam…can I try something?”



“Sure Chris…”Sam nodded as he answered, looking at Chris’ face curiously.



“Promise you wont be mad…” He said, edging closer.



Sam nodded and began promising, when he was interrupted by Chris’ lips pressing against his, forcing Sam onto his back. At first, Sam struggled against him, but only until the surprise wore off. He kissed Chris back, allowing Chris to slip his hand between his legs. Chris wasn’t surprised at all that he was going along with this. He had known how Sam was, just from recent events. After he had figured out what he himself was, he figured out that Sam was as well and that gave him the confidence to do this freely. Sam could push him off if he really wanted to, but it didn’t seem like he did. He was allowing Chris to remove their shirts and was letting him start on his pants when a voice came up from the bottom of the stairs, freezing them both in place.



“Sam, Chris! I gotta leave again for work! I’ll see you guys later!” Sam’s mom didn’t move from where she was on the bottom stair but they were tense and ready to jump up just in case.



“Uh…okay! By mom!” Sam called as Chris came to his senses and backed off of him. There was the tapping of footsteps and the door opening and closing, the nothing.



“I’m sorry Sam. I just…I just wanted to be sure that it was just Matt I’m attracted to, but it seems that

isn’t the case.” He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down as he whispered, “At least I’m not completely wrong. I am attracted to guys in general, but Matt’s the only one that I can…that I can feel anything special with. That I can feel loved with.”



Sam sat there a minute breathing heavily until he had caught his breath. “Chris, you know I’m gay, don’t you? That’s why you just…did that.”



“Yeah, yeah I know you’re gay, or bi maybe.” He smiled at him, “I thought you were and didn’t believe it at first, but when I found out about myself I began to believe it was possible.”



He was about to go on about it and apologize some more, when he took a glance at Sam and then looked away. Chris had never thought of Sam in that way, only as a brother or a good friend, but the recent events had changed that. Sam was actually attractive to him, and just looking at him made his skin crawl. “Damn…”



“I know you love Matt,” Sam started to say as he sat up and wrapped an arm around Chris, making it hard for him to concentrate on slowing his breathe and calming down. “But, I’ve never been with a guy before, I want to try it out. It wont be so bad if I do it with you right? It won’t be anything special for me…because I don’t love you. It’ll just be sex to work out some stuff,” He ran his hands down Chris’ chest to his pants and began undoing them, “Please.”



Chris stuttered and finally emitted, “I…I may be a bit rough, but I’ll try and be gentle…”



He pushed Sam onto his back and the rest of their clothes came off. Chris promised he would probably hurt him and he was right. Sam had tears in his eyes as he cried out and moaned underneath him, but Chris didn’t slow, he didn’t let up until Sam couldn’t take it anymore and stopped him, making him realize that he was actually hurting Sam. He slowed it down for him, going slower and smoother for Sam, trying to imitate the love and care Matt had given him all those times. It didn’t last long in reality, but to Chris, it was a lifetime of painful memories as he thought about Matt, and his kind touch, his loving kisses. He was quiet as he lay next to Sam in the aftermath, staring at the ceiling with him, debating in his head whether that was the right thing to do.



“So how was it?” Chris asked softly, looking at Sam. He almost cringed as he thought of the potential onslaught of hateful words.



“Oh, my God it was…incredible,” Turning on his side, the slight presence of his ecstasy faded immediately from his face as he saw how Chris looked, “but not so much for you.”



Chris looked away then back to him, unsure if he should say the truth or deny it. He sighed then whispered, “I-It wasn’t bad at all, its just…”



“I’m not Matt.” His face didn’t show it, but his voice told Chris it saddened him a little to know this, “I already knew that you might feel that way about sex with me, but I went with it anyways.”



“Why?” Chris asked him and sat up on the bed.



“Because,” Sam started then smiled softly, “because I thought I loved you once. You and I had known each other for years, and when I started to think of you as something else, I got scared. I asked myself why was I in love with a guy? My best friend no less!” Sam closed his eyes then sighed, rolling onto his back. “It hurt when you told me about Matt. I had lost my chance to try and be with the one guy I liked, the one guy who wouldn’t kill me if I told him. It hurt to know that, but I supported you anyways. Then…then all this happened and you just kissed me…”



Chris watched him pull his hand to his lips and run his fingers over them softly as if to ponder this though a moment. “Sam…”



“I know you were only testing something, but….” He sighed and rolled onto his side again. “I felt that this was my chance to tell you, show you how much I felt for you. I wanted to say it so badly, but there was a pain in your eyes that was so deep, and a longing so powerful, I knew it could never be for me. I would never be able to have that look if I left you, which meant those looks that you give for Matt, would only be for Matt. It’ll take me a while, but I know I need to move on and find someone who can do that for me. I’m sorry I didn’t save this for someone else, but I’m glad it was at least you. I don’t regret a thing.”



Chris stared a moment after this confession was let out then a small smile crept its way onto his face and he nodded, “Yeah. I don’t either…”



They lay there for a bit longer to see if anything more could be said and when nothing came up, Sam sat up. “You want to get something to drink?”



“That all depends on if you can walk,” Chris smiled and swung his feet out of bed to pull his clothes on. “I was a bit rough.”



Cringing as he did the same, Sam stretched his arms, “Yeah, I can walk. Just barely.”



They went downstairs without any awkwardness or anything. Like the sex they just got done with was no more important than talking about it. To Chris, that’s basically all it was and just thinking about it made him miss Matt all the more. So he tried to push those thoughts from his head as he stepped into the kitchen with Sam.





Nothing else was said about that day. Chris didn’t feel like it was important and he didn’t think Sam did either, though he watched him for any sign of regret of what they had done. Sam didn’t show any of this and he felt a bit better about what they did. It helped him realize a few things about himself, and it didn’t hurt Sam any, but he still felt bad about using his friend like that. Soon, it became something he didn’t dwell on much, and a few months past by without much incident, except for the one thing Sam continued to notice about Chris. There was an emotional distance between them. Not just between Sam and Chris, but between Chris and everyone around him. Chris was shutting down. He didn’t know what to do about it, and even when he did have an idea of how to cheer Chris up, he was always too busy or too tired. On his last strand of hope, he decided to try talking to Matt about it, and see what he could suggest. He left one day while Chris and everyone was gone and took the bus to the prison. Sam didn’t even notify Matt he was coming, so when an officer came and told Matt he had a visitor, he was surprised. He half-heartedly hoped it would be Chris, but he didn’t hold onto that hope for long. He wouldn’t be allowed to see me here, so why would he bother visiting me, he thought glumly as he followed the officer out. When he got to the visitor’s area where his fellow jail mates were talking through phones to families and girlfriends, he saw Sam at the end of the line, waiting.



“Sam?” Matt was talking before he even sat down. He fumbled with the phone a bit before he said anything more. “What are you doing here? Do your parents know about this?”



“God, no! They wouldn’t let me go if I told them where I was going. No I told my mom I was going shopping for a present for dad’s birthday and she’s keeping him busy for me while I did.” He indicated the shopping bag next to him that held his dad’s present.



Matt didn’t look at him for a moment, but father he looked down at the shopping bag, staring at it for the longest time before murmuring, “What about Chris?”



Sam sighed and looked away too, “He’s at work. I didn’t tell him I was coming.”



“He works on Saturdays?” Matt’s voice didn’t show he was shocked or surprised, hardly anything at all. “Why is he working anyways? I know he doesn’t need the money.”



He shrugged and said, “Beats me, he just one day thought he would get a job or two since he didn’t have much to do after school.”



“He’s got more than one?”



Sam nodded and counted on his fingers a moment. “He’s got about eight or nine. Each one wont let him work everyday like he wants, only after school and on weekends. He just kept getting jobs until his schedule was filled with work, a different one almost every day.”



Matt’s gazed shifted a bit then settled on Sam’s, staring at him now. “So he’s doing okay?”



This question had brought on a worried tone to the atmosphere which had only been serious before and Sam’s eyes changed dramatically. “I, I don’t think so. He doesn’t talk much or hardly sleep. I think he’s taking those jobs to keep his mind off you and it does work a little. When I see him at work sometimes, he’s a bit better but afterwards, he’s just…quiet. He doesn’t really laugh or smile anymore, unless he knows he’s around someone who can worry about him. Chris doesn’t eat much either. Once in a while, he’ll eat a whole helping, but most of the time he just pushes the food around and takes a few forkfuls before pushing it away.”



Sam’s voice was now sounding strained as he continued to talk about Chris. “I know I fucking sound like I’m his damn mother but, I mean, how the fuck should I act when he’s lost so much weight, his skin is so pale all the time, and he doesn’t even act like a person anymore. Chris, Chris has gotten colder, lifeless. Like he was before he found you Matt, only worse.” Sam paused and looked at Matt, really scrutinizing him a moment before whispering, “And just from sitting here across from you I can tell you have too. There’s no life in your voice, nothing in your eyes. It’s all empty.”



“Really?” There was actually a bit of surprise to Matt’s voice.



Sam nodded and his eyes narrowed slightly. “I can understand why they did this. He was a minor still and you’re…hell you’re how much older than him?”



“Six years maybe…” Matt mumbled softly.



“Right, I can understand this, but still…” Sam shook his head. “What I really came here to do is ask you if you knew of any way to make him happier. Maybe make this time easier for him.”



Matt was silent a moment and out of the corner of his eye, an officer came into the room where the visitors were and headed towards Sam to tell him his time was up. “Just…be there for him. That’s all I can think of.”



Sam noticed the officer too and stood to leave. “Thanks Matt. Don’t forget that you’ll be out of here soon. You and Chris can still be together after all this.”



Matt didn’t reply, but only hung up his phone as Sam said good bye and left. Matt’s own officer came to take him back to the cell and he went calmly, thinking in his mind about what Sam had said to him. About Chris, and himself. We may be able to be together Sam. That all depends on Chris, if he’s still willing to come back to me after all this…





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Hehe sooooooo here is anothe chapter! Almost almost so close so close!

I hope you all are liking it so far, just be sure to let me know what you think by reviewing!

oh and btw, im working on a Loveless fanfic.

About Nakahira-san and Seimei! :P

keep in touch

Ja ne! ^.^V