The one thing that keeps me sane...

DISCLAIMER : MY STORY, MY CHARACTERS, MY LOVELY MIND!!! Please don't steal it because what I will do does not look good on aplications. ENJOY!!!

ONWARDS ------->

When Ben returned downstairs Anna was immediately at his arm. He rolled his eyes and walked with her into the living room. There were a few more people in the house that Ben, of course, did not know. He stood there looking around a moment as Anna talked to one of their other cousins and his eyes fell on a man sitting on the couch. Quickly Ben slipped from Anna’s grasp and walked into the kitchen. He smiled at Carol, who gave him a knowing look, and headed out to the back porch.

Pulling out his cell phone Ben dialed Michael’s number and put the head piece to his ear. “Pick up your phone Michael...” Ben growled.

“What?” Michael muttered into the phone. “Ben what do you want right now?”

Just the way Michael had said that immediately told Ben what he was currently doing, or had just done, with Ryan. “Michael, Trik is here.” he said into the phone, making sure no one was listening as he sat on the bench.

“Trik is where Ben?” Michael asked, sounding a tad bit more interested then he had before hand.

“Here, at Lain’s father’s memorial.” Ben answered. “I think Lain is related to him somehow. All I know is that I saw him and you know how he works. He wont want me near someone in his family knowing what I have done.”

Michael laughed. “You make him sound like he’s in the mob Ben. He’s just a gangster like you and I used to be.”

To spite Michael’s best efforts Ben was not feeling better. “He’ll kill me Michael. He’ll kill me if he knows I’m with Lain. What if Lain is the nephew he always talks about? You’ve heard him talk about his nephew Michael! It’s insane!” Ben took a deep breath. “It’s not like I went into specific detail when I told Lain about my life. He doesn’t know about Trik and he doesn’t know about that hell of a year I went through.”

“Just keep it chill Ben. If I know Lain that means that his family doesn’t know he’s gay and that means that you and him have to keep a safe distance. That means that his uncle, or whatever he is to Lain, can’t find out.” Michael reassured him. “And maybe you should tell Lain about that soon. After all, that was pretty important.”

A long sigh escaped Ben. “Yeah sure, bye.” he hung the phone up and shoved it into his pocket. He leaned onto his knees and about died. If that really was Trik that he had seen and if Laraine really was his nephew than Ben was in for hell. He’d done some pretty stupid things when he had been seventeen and getting involved with Trik had been one of them.

“Benjamin?” Carol came out and Ben lifted his head to look up at her. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” he answered. “Just a little crowded in there. A lot of people I don’t know.”

Carol sat down next to him. “You don’t think I’ll fall for that do you? You’re really good at being around people. So, why don’t you tell me why you have secluded yourself out here?”

That brought a small smile to Ben’s face and he turned his attention back to the ground. “I know someone in that house...from when I was Lain’s age.”

“But, you haven’t known Lain for that long.” Carol said and Ben nodded. “Who in there do you know?”

“I don’t know his real name.” Ben muttered and looked over at Carol. “We all just called him Trik.”

She sort of sat there a moment trying to think. “Could you point him out to me?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I could. But I don’t want to go back in there.”

“Ben?” Carol asked as he looked down at the ground again. “I take it you and him have a bad past?”

“It’s not that we have a bad past, we got along perfectly fine.” Ben replied. “I just...I don’t think he would like Lain and I being friends...let alone together.”

An arm slid around his shoulders and Carol sighed. “Ben, my family, Lain’s family, they may not like it but they love Lain and that wont change. Lain knows he can come to me if any of them say or do anything and so can you. I will talk to them.”

That made Ben laugh. “The only one in there that knows is Alex. Other than that everyone is oblivious. I guess that’s fine and everything, since I know Lain isn’t really ready for any of them to know.”

“Give it time.” Carol told him and stood. “Come on inside, it’s cold out here.”

They entered the house again and Laraine walked up to Ben, clearly worried about what was going on. Ben just smile and ruffled his hair a little. That made Laraine smile a little even though he clearly did not believe everything was okay. Then, of course, Anna came running up and wrapped her arm around Ben’s again.

“Are you okay?” Anna asked him. “You worried me.”

“Fine.” Ben answered. “Just went to get some air.”

The man that Ben had been trying to avoid entered the kitchen at that time and his eyes fell on Ben. Ben looked away from him and tried to play it off as if nothing was happening. “Benjamin please come with me a moment.” Laraine grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, which meant right past Trik. When they reached the main entrance to the house Laraine stopped. “What is going on Benjamin?”

“Nothing.” Ben told him. “There are just a lot of people here and I’m trying to tone it down so your family doesn’t freak on me.”

This clearly did not make Laraine happy. “You are hiding something from me Benjamin. Tell me what it is right this moment!”

“Ben.” they both looked over to see Trik standing there. “I wasn’t aware you knew my nephew Ben.”

“I wasn’t aware he was your nephew.” Ben muttered.

Laraine looked at Ben. “Benjamin you know him?” Ben nodded and it took Laraine a moment before his eyes widened.

Trik walked over and set a hand on Laraine’s shoulder. “Will you leave us a moment Laraine?” the boy nodded and left the room. “Long time no see Ben.”

“Yea, you could say that.” Ben brushed his hair back a little. “I wasn’t aware you were related to Lain.”

“My only nephew. In fact his father made me his godfather if ever something happened to him or Carol.” Trik informed Ben and Ben just wanted to crawl up and die. “So how long have you two been friends?”

Ben took a deep breath. “Pretty much a year and a half.”

Trik folded his arms. “Are you dating my nephew Ben?”

God hated him. Ben knew it. Ben just knew god hated him. “For almost five months.”

“Does he know about you Ben? Or does he really think you are like this?” Trik flicked Ben’s collar.

“Lain knows. I’ve told him about my life and how I used to be. I’m just dressed like this for the memorial, which I wasn’t going to be at in the first place but his aunt made me. The only thing he doesn’t know is that you and I knew each other back then.”

Trik grabbed Ben’s upper arm and held it tight, Ben actually winced from the force. “You hurt him and I will come after you Ben. Don’t think that I don’t know your secrets and don’t think I can’t make your life a living hell. You may think you have changed but you forget that there are people out there who actually know you, who know just exactly what you have done. Don’t think I wont protect my nephew from you at all costs.” he pushed Ben back and Ben hit the door. “This is your warning Ben.”

With that Trik left and Ben rubbed the back of his head. He sighed and tried to think. God what was he going to do? He didn’t want to hurt Laraine to begin with but Trik could take Laraine being upset about anything and turn it into something Ben had done. Why was his life going to hell all of a sudden? He had finally thought that things were going to be okay and then all of this shit happens.

“Benjamin?” Laraine came into the little room again and walked up to him. “Are you okay? I heard a loud thump.”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Ben muttered. “Listen Lain, I think I’m gonna go okay? This isn’t really the place for someone like me.”

Laraine grabbed onto Ben’s shirt sleeves and looked at him concerned. “Benjamin please tell me what’s wrong. I don’t like this. If you’re upset because my family doesn’t know I can tell them, really.”

That one made Ben smile. “Babe it’s not that. I’m not mad at you for not telling your family because I would probably not want these people to know either if I was related to them. I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

The blonde nodded. “Alright.”

Ben slid a hand up to Laraine’s head and kissed him. They kissed slowly before Ben backed his head away and smiled down at his boyfriend. “See you later babe.”

Laraine walked into the kitchen and up to his mom. “Did you talk to Benjamin mom?”

“I have talked to him. Why?” Carol asked her son.

“He’s upset and he wont tell me why.” Laraine muttered, not really wanted anyone else to get in on the conversation. Trik walked up to them just then. “What did you say to Benjamin?”

Trik stood there a moment. “Just to be careful with my nephew is all.”

Laraine frowned. “Well whatever you said to him you made him upset and he left!” he turned back to his mother. “I’m gonna go over to his house and see what’s going on.”

“Alright.” Carol nodded, glaring at Trik.

Quickly Laraine grabbed his coat and got out of the house. He walked down the sidewalk wondering what could possibly be wrong with Ben. He clearly knew that Ben and his uncle had had a rough past together. Thought he didn’t know how or what had happened. Clearly it was enough to make Ben completely uncomfortable to the point where he had to leave. Ben wasn’t one to leave even if he didn’t like someone.

Fifteen minutes later Laraine was knocking on the door and stood there waiting for a moment. Finally the door opened and Ben looked at him shocked. “Lain? What are you doing here?” he stepped aside to let Laraine in. “Don’t you have your family’s thing?”

“I want to know what’s wrong with you!” Laraine snapped. “You take off without any explanation as to why and expect me to think everything is okay?”

“Of course not.” Ben told him. “I just didn’t want to cause a big thing at your father’s memorial. Which you should be at by the way.”

Laraine glared at Ben as the guy walked into the living room and he followed him. “What happened between you and my uncle Benjamin? Tell me right this moment!”

Ben sighed and sat on the couch. “He just told me that if I ever hurt you he’d get back at me. He knows more about me than you may think Lain and I’m really afraid he’ll use those things against me.”

“We’ve went over this before Benjamin, your past...I know it was bad and I know you did bad things.” Laraine sat by him. “You changed though. The only things that matters to me is who you are now.”

“Who’s that?” they both looked over to see a little boy standing there.

Ben motioned for the boy to come over to him and he sat the kid on his lap. Laraine had known who the kid was the moment he’d lain eyes on him. He looked exactly like Ben. Same black hair, same facial features, even the same eyes. “This is Lain. Lain, this is my son Jacoby.”

Lain smiled. “Hello there Jacoby.”

“Hello.” the three-year-old smiled back. Ben leaned down to whisper something to Jacoby and the boy smiled. “My daddy says sorry.”

Laraine gave Ben a warm smile. “Well,” he looked back at Jacoby. “You tell him I’m not mad.”

Jacoby nodded and leaned up to whisper to Ben. Ben set Jacoby on the ground. “You hungry monster?” the boy nodded. “How surprising.” he looked over at Laraine. “You hungry Lain?”

“Not at the moment.” Laraine told him.

Ben stood and walked into the kitchen, Jacoby staying in the living room with Laraine. “Do you like my daddy?”

“Yes, I like him very much.” Laraine answered, knowing Ben was most likely listening.

“My daddy likes you.” Jacoby told him like it was some big secret. “He told mommy he does, but mommy doesn’t.”

That made Laraine laugh. “Well, I don’t know your mom so that’s okay.”

“Monster get in here.” Ben called and Jacoby ran into the kitchen. Ben sat him at the table and gave him some form of sandwich. He walked back over and sat next to Laraine again. “Kathy was here when I got home and pretty much handed him to me and left. She said she’d be back to get him at like eight but I have my doubts.”

Laraine leaned against Ben. “He’s adorable. I’ll give him that.” he looked up at Ben. “He looks just like you.”

“I know I feel sorry for him.” Ben joked and kissed Laraine. “Baby your uncle is gonna kill me.”

“Not if my mom got to him.” Laraine told him. “If she got to him then that means that he will leave you alone. He wont do anything to you if I don’t want him to Benjamin.”

Ben laughed. “Lain you don’t know him like I know him. He will not hesitate to make my life a living hell.” he kissed Laraine. “I was always afraid that my past would come back to haunt me...I just never thought it would involve anyone else.” he wrapped an arm around Laraine and held him close. “Especially not you love.”

Laraine snuggled into Ben. “Do you think the man who kidnapped me was someone from your past Benjamin?”

There was silence a moment and Laraine looked up to see Ben staring at nothing on the floor. “I don’t have one doubt in my mind that it was. The only thing that scares me is not knowing who it was.” someone knocked on the door and Ben got up to go answer it. “Monster!” he called and the boy ran over to him. “You wanna go play with Brian?”

“Yes!” Jacoby said happily.

“Alright then, shoes and coat.” Ben told him and Jacoby ran to go get him. Once Jacoby was ready Ben let him go. “Don’t break anything!” with that he closed the door and walked back over to sit next to Laraine. It was now Ben’s turned to be concerned when he walked back over and saw Laraine sitting back against the couch deep in thought. “Sugah?”

That knocked Laraine from his thought and he looked at the guy sitting crisscross next to him. “Yeah?”

“You look upset.” Ben answered. “I don’t want you to be upset. I can take care of my own problems and I don’t want you to be effected by them.”

A smile graced Laraine’s face. “You’d have to not care about me if you didn’t want me to be effected by them Benjamin...and get me to stop caring for you.”

“I’d have to rewind time and make it so we never met then.” Ben told him and ran a hand through that blonde hair. “And babe my life would be hell without you here.”

“I should probably get back to the memorial.” Laraine turned his head a little and Ben leaned down to kiss him. “They’ll be worried.”

Ben pulled Laraine over into his lap and held the boy there. “This is the problem with teenagers. They are never will to talk about their problems. So, you are going to sit here until you tell me what is going on under that wonderful blonde hair of yours.”

For a moment Laraine just sat there staring at Ben. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Lain.” Ben said in a stern voice. “Don’t make me spank you.” Laraine blushed a deep red and looked away from Ben. “Don’t even think I wont do it.”

“I’m having conflicting emotions.” Laraine told him.

Ben cupped the boy’s chin in his hand and made Laraine face him. “What type of conflicting emotions?"

Laraine sort of chewed on his lip a moment. “I think I wanna...umm...” Laraine sort of looked down and then met Ben’s gaze again. “Sleep...with you.”

Ben let Laraine’s chin go a little shocked. “Oh, that kind of conflicting emotion.” Ben was at a loss for words. He’d honestly never been in a situation like the one he was in now and had no idea on how to handle it. “I uh...don’t know what to say to that. Well, besides the whole when you are ready you will know thing but uh...other then that I got nothing.”

“Yeah.” Laraine nodded. “I just...I dunno.” he was free to lower his head now so he did. “It’s confusing for me is all. Like...I dunno how to explain it.”

“I’d suggest talking to Ryan.” Ben told him. “Ryan would be better to talk to about that then me.”

Laraine sighed. “Yeah but I don’t want to sleep with Ryan.” he looked up at Ben. “I want to sleep with you I just...don’t know about it.”

Uncomfortable was one word for what Ben was. “Is it that you don’t know...how to...or that you just haven’t ever before?”

“Haven’t before I guess.” Laraine was fidgeting with his hands. “I better go.”

“Yeah.” Ben let him go and Laraine stood. “Babe, I don’t want you to sleep with me cause you think I’m pressuring you or anything.”

A small smile came to Laraine’s face. “Don’t worry Benjamin, I don’t think that at all.”

Ben stood and walked to the door with Laraine. Laraine turned and kissed Ben softly. They kissed again and Ben slid his hand up to the side of Laraine’s head. Laraine wrapped his arms around Ben’s neck as Ben pushed him back against the door. Ben slid his hand into Laraine’s shirt and Laraine moaned softly.

Grabbing the hem of Laraine’s shirt Ben pulled it over the boy’s head and stroked over Laraine’s soft skin. Laraine slid his hands into Ben’s hair as Ben kissed down to his chest. A small cry escaped Laraine’s parted lips as Ben’s lips wrapped around one of his nipples. His head was swarming with pleasure and he felt Ben’s lips trail further down before dipping into his belly button.

“Benjamin...” Laraine moaned.

“What?” Ben asked, kissing Laraine’s stomach again.

"Lets...go to your room"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Murphy's law...just remember murphy's law.
"Anything that can go wrong...will go wrong."
ANYWAY!!! Two days till christmas and that means I may not get my next chapter up until after this "joyfull" holiday because I shall be very very busy. However, I will try my very hardest!!!
~Kay