Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

((Jace: It's not quit the bath sex scene you wanted, but I hope it satisfies you none the less. xD
Not much esle to say in this A.N so I'll let you get on with reading. ^-^ ))

Chapter Eight. Warnings - Angst, suicidal thoughts, smut, tiny bit of fluff.

The hallways seemed to be huge when he set his mind to telling Raf about his past. The ceilings were too high, the passages too long, the lighting too bright. Leon felt sick to his stomach with worry and nervousness. He didn’t want Rafael to be disgusted with him for what he used to do, and apparently still did.

Raf was monumentally confused. How could one harmless question make Leon act all doom and gloomy? Already he feared the worst. Though what the worst was he didn’t actually know, he just knew that he was afraid of what Leon was going to tell him. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked, or maybe he was over-reacting, but he wouldn’t know until he found out what it was Leon had to say.

It didn’t take too long to find the way out; the doors were tall and distorted multicoloured patterns danced across the floor as light streamed in through the panes of stained glass. Leon was visibly shaking as he reached for the door handle, he didn’t want Rafael to be revolted at what he was, what he wanted to become once again. If Raf did hate him, it would make life harder than it needed to be. They’d not sleep together again, the atmosphere around them would be one of hostility and Hadrian would most likely be able to break them easier.

“What is it that you want to say out here?” Rafael asked quietly as they began to wander the lush green gardens. The grass was soft underfoot and well kept, with hedges lining little passages that could be walked through, and rare and beautiful flowers blooming in a wide assortment of colours. There were sounds of wildlife all around them, birds singing, insects buzzing… It seemed like a whole new world out there.

Leon tugged the older slave a bit deeper into the garden and seated himself on a small wooden bench, beckoning for Raf to sit beside him.

“I know you’re wondering why I didn’t tell inside, I just find things easier to say when there is fresh air to breathe.” He explained quietly and bowed his head to look at the grass beneath his feet. “You see, before Hadrian’s men abducted me, I was a slave for another master. The man you saw with Hadrian today was my old master, Hadrian does things to us that Luca did to me, but Luca cared for me, he didn‘t hurt me unless I had to be punished. I fell in love with him. I liked being with him. I liked being his pleasure slave. It’s all I’ve known…”

He was cut off by Raf standing rather abruptly and Leon couldn’t bear to look up and see his companion’s expression of disgust.

Rafael didn’t know how to react. How was he supposed to after he’d just been told that his closest friend liked being somebody else’s fuck toy? Liked being tied down and tortured and whatever else was involved with being some sick bastard’s pleasure slave. How could someone as cute and innocent as Leon want to have their innocence tainted, their purity dirtied by the sadistic desires of other men.

He couldn’t be with the boy right then, he needed to think about what he’d been told, how he should treat the boy in future, whether he would be able to keep things between them the same or if there would be that tense and uncomfortable silence blanketing them like a stifling sheet.

His feet carried him deeper into the garden, past a few slaves who were obviously in charge of keeping the garden in perfect order, past a small pond with a little waterfall that was feeding into said pond that had lilies floating on the surface, past innumerable ornaments that decorated the flowerbeds. He didn’t care where he was going, anywhere that was quiet where he could stop and think without any distractions or outside influences.

Back on the bench, Leon was weeping softly into his hands. He hadn’t expected Raf to take it well, but he hadn’t expected him to get up and leave. Was he really that repulsed by him? He was left alone by other current occupants of the garden, though whether he wanted to deal on his own or whether he wanted comforting was not apparent. He just wanted Raf to understand.

Leon had not known much else aside from being a slave in one form or another, and he’d never been in a situation where he actually valued the opinion of someone who wasn’t a master to him but a friend. The boy didn’t feel too good, didn’t want to be just sat out there on his own. Sniffling pitifully and wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his robe, Leon got shakily to his feet and shuffled back towards the door, throwing a worried look over his shoulder.

When Rafael didn’t appear, the blonde boy pushed open the door and slipped inside, making his way back to their room. The dimly lit room was warm and cosy and so the young slave shed his robe and sat on the edge of his bed. First Luca showed up, and then Raf rejected him, what next? Was Hadrian going to make his day worse by having his way with him too? He couldn’t bear to think about it.

He’d never felt more alone before. He knew Luca would come for him, knew Raf would eventually have to meet him again but there was so much distance between them. One was somewhere overseas; the other was so far from him emotionally that Leon was lost somewhere in his solitude.

For the first time in his life, Leon thought about just ending it then and there. Sure, to most, his problems would seem trivial and he would be seen to be overreacting, but he didn’t know what else to do anymore. His life was all up in the air and he’d never experienced such a thing before, there was always someone to tell him what to do and how to do it. Now though, now he felt completely alone, as if Raf was his only lifeline in the horrendous place and now even he had left him.

Decision made, Leon began to hunt for something sharp. He searched high and low in both the bedroom and the small en-suite bathroom but obviously Hadrian had thought of enough to prevent his slaves taking their lives. There were no sharp objects and there was nothing high enough for him to even consider hanging himself. It took a lot of courage to do that too, courage that Leon didn’t really have.

So what was a suicidally depressed young pleasure slave supposed to do when he had no way of leaving this world except when his master wanted him to?

Nothing apparently.

With that in mind, he just curled up on the bed and sulked, staring at the wall across from him. He looked and felt rather small in the bed. The whole room felt cold without the warmth and friendliness of his fellow captive, and the little blonde slave found himself falling asleep, scared and alone.

Raf meanwhile was wandering around the gardens, his mind trying to make a number of decisions. Should he be disgusted by how Leon liked being used? Or should he just accept that? He was the same guy he’d met back in the slave cells after all. But it felt like Leon was a completely different person, who got off being hurt by powerful men and Rafael wasn’t sure he liked that. It was scary, like Leon was suddenly a complete stranger to him just because he’d said a few things that he didn’t agree with.

Perhaps it was the fact that Rafael felt like he was shunning Leon for something he couldn’t help that drove some sense into him. Leon was the same person he liked, a lot, regardless of what his past was like and that was all that mattered.

With his mind set, Rafael turned on his heel and began to walk back the way he’d come. Past the pond, past the beautiful flowerbeds, back to the stained glass door. By the time he reached that door, he was running. It wasn’t fair to Leon to judge him like that; he was a really nice guy after all, despite the circumstances and Rafael wanted to apologise for making Leon feel like he’d lost a friend when he acknowledged that it had been hard for Leon to admit to what he had been and still was.

Rafael was racing around corners to find Leon, and seeing as they weren’t allowed anywhere in the mansion aside for their room, it wasn’t hard to guess where the younger slave had gone. Rafael almost collided with the door, all but kicked it open and startled the boy resting on the bed enough that the boy yelped in alarm and fell off the bed. Which would have been funny had circumstances been different.

The boy’s azure eyes were wide with fear and confusion until they settled on Rafael, and even then, the fear stayed in them. What was Rafael going to do? Was he even going to anything? Perhaps he’d just ignore Leon for the rest of the time they were together, and the smaller slave didn’t think he could live with that, the hostility would be too much for him to take.

Rafael didn’t move away though, nor did he move closer yet. He just hung his head and stared at the floor in what appeared to be shame for his earlier reaction. No words passed his lips as he just stood there; trying to think of what to say in apology, but his mind was blank.

Seconds turned into minutes of complete stillness in the room. Neither male said or did anything as the silence stretched on until Rafael shuffled his feet awkwardly and slowly raised his gaze to the boy who was tangled in the bedsheets he’d pulled with him when he fell from the bed.

“I’m really sorry about earlier, I over-reacted. I didn’t know what to say, y’know. It’s not something you hear very often and I didn’t know how to take it. But, you’re still the same guy I first met, no matter what your past is, so…” He trailed off, hoping that Leon understood.

The younger slave’s eyes never left Raf’s slim frame as he listened to what his companion was clearly having some trouble saying, and he had to admit that perhaps he was rather surprised by Rafael’s response. After all, he had been expecting to be brushed off and ignored for the rest of his stay with the male.

He suddenly felt incredibly foolish for thinking earlier of trying to take his own life. It was rather extreme now that he thought about it, but he had felt really hurt. How could he have wanted to throw his life away like that? He had so much to live for still, and it would have broken Luca’s heart too, something Leon should have thought of before he even considered committing suicide.

How could he have been so selfish as to put himself first? It wasn’t like him at all.

“It’s… it’s okay, I guess I should have expected something like that. Now you know why I was so reluctant to tell you of what I was.” He said quietly, still motionless by the side of his bed, hugging the covers tight to him. “Not many people are as tolerant of willing pleasure slaves as you seem to be. People hate me for what I do.” He whispered, clearly bitter about having no one to turn to before just because they disagreed with his lifestyle.

The smaller slave was about to pick himself up off the floor when he found himself scooped into the arms of his companion. Leon was only small after all. And he liked being held close, it made him feel safe and warm, like he belonged somewhere.

“Come on, it’s still early, but you’re all sweaty, lets go take a shower, and then we’ll see what is needed of us. Hopefully Hadrian will be too tied up with your master’s threat to worry about us today, so we might be able to find something to do, just the two of us without having to worry about being called out to that bastard.” Rafael said quietly, calmly as he strode towards their little en-suite bathroom.

When Leon was lowered to his feet beside the shower cubicle that was little more than a small walled off area with a rusty old pipe with a head that looked as though it belonged on a watering can for a shower, he cast a look at his fellow slave. Did Rafael want to shower with him? Seriously? Sharing a shower with someone was something he’d not done before. He always took a shower on his own, if he took a shower, he was usually expected to bathe, relax so that he was not tense when he met with his master, unless his master was with him in the bath, but he’d always showered alone, so this would be quite new to him.

Rafael appeared to think nothing of it. If he wanted to share a shower with Leon, then they would share a shower. So what if he couldn’t be defiant when he was with Hadrian? He could still get what he wanted when they weren’t in the master’s presence.

Leon didn’t say anything, just slid his robe off his shoulders and hung it up on the hook on the back of the door while Raf warmed the towels on the heated pipes. At least they knew the water heated elsewhere in the complex would make a good radiator as it travelled the pipes, well as hot water for the showers. Of course, the showers weren’t very good quality, it was hard to adjust the water pressure to get it to come out of a shower head, but they could run baths so things weren’t that low-tech as to have to boil buckets of water for baths. Showers were the next step in the scale of development.

But the slave’s quarters weren’t exactly the most lavish of rooms, so it was only the basics in their bathroom. Nothing pretty, ornate, just a dull room with a decent toilet, wash basin and shower. It was enough though, especially considering how little they used it, bathing in the special private washroom at least.

After turning the water on and nearly scalding his hand, Leon was joined by Raf who had also shed his robe and was preparing to step beneath the spray, but noticing how quickly Leon pulled his hand back, he gave a puzzled look before testing it himself. It was hot he had to admit, but it was cooling quickly as the spray hit the cooler air of the room and the younger slave found himself tugged under the falling water as Rafael stood beneath it.

Hair was immediately plastered to heads in an almost comical fashion and water trickled off their noses as they looked at each other, Leon looking up, Raf looking down. The water wasn’t very strong, but it was enough and the older male began to massage the boy’s hair and scalp, light fingertips playing across his companions head. They had no oils there to wash their hair and body, but there was no need for them anyway.

Of course, Rafael had an ulterior motive for suggesting the shower, sure Leon was sweaty, but that was just an excuse and his real reason became clear when he pressed their lips together and held Leon against him, one hand sliding over water-slicked flesh, down the boy’s spine to settle on the male’s backside and squeeze gently in encouragement.

Such an action made Leon part his lips to gasp softly, the sound lost to the falling water, and Rafael took the opportunity to explore the youth’s mouth with his tongue, coaxing Leon’s out to play. Already he could feel the boy’s length beginning to rise unobtrusively to press against his thigh and it made Raf smile into their passionate dance of tongues.

Leon was kissing back hungrily by then, become lost in their kiss, uncaring of how he was getting aroused just by such simple stimulation, it was what Rafael wanted after all, and that was obvious because Raf’s body was reacting to their intimacy too. The younger slave’s hands began to wander, slipping between their bodies to tease along his companion’s erection as he rubbed his own against the darker male’s thigh to stimulate himself.

Raf wasn’t having that though, and pressed the boy against the wall, both hands placed firmly on the youth’s backside.

Leon got the hint, and with Rafael supporting him by means of the grip on his rear-end, Leon wrapped his legs around the male’s waist, allowing Raf to raise him and consequentially impale him on Rafael’s waiting length. There was no application of oil for lubrication, and the water wasn’t a very good substitute, but Leon didn’t seem to care. The pleasure and pain mix was incredibly intoxicating, even as blood wound its way down his thighs to be washed away by the falling water, but it made the way easier for Raf as he lifted Leon almost all the way off before pulling him down again.

Their kiss had been broken long ago and Leon threw his head back, the warm water falling onto his face as he did his best to aid Raf, taking the intruding length as far as he could, muscles clenching around it, encouraging Rafael to let go of his control. His fingers were tangled in the dark tresses of his companion’s hair as his moans and whimpers fell from his lips to be drowned out by the heavy patter of the water hitting the walls and floor.

Raf was being equally vocal but he was biting into his bottom lip to try and stifle some of his noises, the vulgar words that he couldn’t help but utter as Leon sank onto his erection once again. His hands were gripping the boy’s buttocks hard enough to leave marks, but both of them were oblivious as Rafael’s climax came upon him in a heady rush, dismissing all comprehensible thought as he released into the boy’s body.

Of course, Leon milked every drop of fluid from the male’s erection, his muscles clenching almost unbearably so as he felt warmth flood his lower body to push him over the edge, white liquid spurting between them.

And then Rafael’s legs couldn’t support him and he sank down the wall of the shower, his softening length slipping from the boy’s entrance. His arms then curled around the boy and the pair sat there on the floor of the shower, bathing in the afterglow of their orgasms.

Leon was the first to recover, carefully detaching himself from his companion and turning off the shower once their bodies were clean of their fluids and tugged Rafael to his feet before wrapping the male in a warm towel. Once they were both warm and drying, Leon pushed Raf onto the bed and sat on him, making the older slave laugh softly and pulled the boy down for a hug.

That was when there came a knock on their door.

((Suggestions are welcome as usual, I adore my reviewers, I owe my updates to you as it is you who keep me motivated to write, just thoughts of getting reviews are enough to keep me going, I luff you all! Okay, I'm done singing your praises so if you want me to do it again, leave me a review. xD ))