Pretty street boy

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The sky was awash with the color of blood as the sun made it's way to the edge of the horizon. Night capturing the heavens in it's star spangled embrace. I looked out the window of my 26th floor apartment. The view of the city was breathtaking, and I often found myself enthralled by that vista.

As I frequently did, I thought of my life before coming back to the earthen realm. Of Michael. The day had broken just as gloriously as this one was falling. That day I ran away from Him. Away from the only one with whom I had sought solace. I chuckled at myself. I had been an idiot, of course.


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I ran headlong into the woods, the ghosts chasing me into the striations of light and shadow created by the canopy of leaves and branches above. Stumbling repeatedly on roots as I drove further away from Him and everything I'd come to reluctantly accept in this place beyond the void. I wanted to go back. Back to my old life or back into the emptiness of the void. I didn't care, either way. As long as I could be rid of the emotions constricting my chest as my heart pounded fiercely as I ran. I didn't know how far, exactly, I ran, but I finally collapsed from exhaustion in a small clearing. The fog was all but dispersed and the bright morning sun was warm on my sweat-sheened skin. The chill from the ground was seeping into my bones as I laid on the ground, eyes closed tight against the memories, the emotions and the words Michael had spoken. I could still hear the barely concealed pain behind those words. The words I had forced from His lips. Words He had not wanted to speak.

"Michael..," I whispered His name like a ward against all the despair that was making my heart clench so tightly that tears spilled steadily down my cheeks. "Why?" I sobbed. I wondered, being dead already, if I could die again. The birds overhead were chirping as joyfully as ever. The beams of sunlight washing everything in paint-brush strokes of golden light in the verdant woods. It was as perfect as a dream. I hated it. It should've been gray and raining.

I stayed there the rest of the day and into the night. Laying with my face toward the sky, staring inwardly. I reached for the coldness that lurked inside. The barren waste that froze everything. Not even the memory of His violet eyes piercing me right through to my soul could touch me again. But in the wasteland that was my apathy, I was alone. I knew it now. No matter how many times I seared away every stray feeling that tried to break through, I couldn't be rid of that one. Alone. And with it the aching emptiness...

I woke to a crackling of a fire, it's warmth caressing the side of my body closest to it. And despite the large coat tucked neatly around me, the side opposite the toasty glow of the campfire was chilled. I pulled the coat in closer and inhaled the familiar scent of Him. I couldn't keep the sigh from escaping. I cracked my eyes and scanned the ring of light that broke the darkness of the night. He was sitting with His back braced against a large stone, legs outstretched, hands folded neatly in His lap. His glittering eyes gazed unfocused on the slow, rolling dance of flames as they consumed the logs. I could see Him through the licks of flame, beautiful in the russet glow.

I braced, ready for the anger to punch me again in the gut, but it didn't come. I continued to stare at Him through slitted eyes. He had searched for me. Sought me out and found me in the woods. I wondered what He had thought when He'd found me. A monster would not have wrapped me in His only coat, nor build a fire. He wouldn't have stayed with me into the night. I was a fool. Michael was still wrapped in that ever present angelic aura. Dimmed as it was by the brightness of the fire, it was still there.

He was beautiful to me. As beautiful as I was ugly. But I couldn't forgive Him. I didn't know how. We existed in two different worlds and I didn't know how to bridge that vast chasm that He'd created between us with those words of confession. Even if I had pressured Him to speak them, I took no blame for forcing them from His lips.

I rolled over to my side to better stare at Him. Or rather stare through Him. Watching Him, looking beyond Him as He contemplated the flames. Thoughts only He was privvy to; nothing showing on His smooth features.

"You're awake." That voice that could melt my flesh with it's musical tone drifted across the impromptu camp.

"I don't want you around."

His continued to stare across the fire at me with those piercing violet eyes. I turned my face away. I didn't want to see Him. That angelic monster that had inflicted worse than what I had ever taken. Or given away. The ghosts swirled beyond the reach of the light, mocking me. He was no worse than me - a murderer. My skin burned.

"If not here, where?" He asked, reasonably.

I didn't want to talk to Him, either. "I don't care."

"Sinking back into old habits. I thought you were stronger than that." His eyebrow rose in question. Daring me to refute His words.

"I'm not. So send me back."

"Back to that stinking alley in your tattered box. Back to the cold rain. The sick bastards who rape you every other day. The jealous whores that want to wring your neck, the bully boys who toy with you and leave you for dead? You want to die again? Next time, it won't be so pleasant."

"What do you intend to do with me? What the hell am I here for!? If God was such a benevolent god, what a fucked up sense of humor to put the two of us together."

"I warned you not to ask about my past," He said calmly.

I couldn't answer Him. I had asked. Pushed when He refused. "We're just tools. Game pieces. Toys to be played with. I'm not here because of some charity."

"No. You were chosen."

I huffed out a forceful sigh. "I don't want to hear it."

Glancing over as He chuckled lightly, His eyes dancing merrily, glittering with tiny stars - reflected flames of orange light. I frowned and cast my gaze back to the night sky spiraling overhead with their true stars. Constellations I had never seen in the city cavorted far overhead. The tiny pricks of light filling my heart full of wonder and awe. Thousands and thousands of them scattered like splinters of glass across the velvet sky. I felt my lips pull upward as I tilted my head back further to look at them.

Did I really want to go back? Back to that lifeless place I used to call home? Back into the unfeeling void? The heartbeat of this place pounded it's slow, hypnotic rhythm. I could almost hear it, barely sense it deep in my chest. Slowly closing my eyes, I sank into it. Letting go... losing myself to it, finally.


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The stars flickered dimly over the bright city lights. From the perch on the ledge of my apartment balcony, I could see them struggle to outshine the neon blinking far below me. I sighed, wistfully. The sky seemed so much more alive at that place in the world beyond the dead than here in the living world, serving my purpose. I tapped out a cigarette from an almost empty, crinkled pack and lit it absentmindedly; the smoke swirling like a halo around me before whipping away in the breeze.

I actually didn't mind being back under different circumstances. The life I should've had from the beginning, rich and full, gave me a deep satisfaction. Even if I never would openly admit to it. Not to myself, not to Michael. Certainly never to any of the victims I'd pull out on a daily basis.


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"Do you understand now?" His whispering voice caressing the edge of my conscienceness. "You finally hear it, don't you?"

It always amazed me how He could read me so easily. But if what He'd said was true, He'd been waiting for me for years, maybe centuries, it shouldn't have surprised me at all. He'd watched from afar as I suffered through my pitifully short life. I could almost sympathize with my old self. Stumbling in a jerking parody of living, exactly like a zombie. Not even fully aware of the wounds that should have inflicted painfully deep scars on my spirit. The already deadened wisp that was beyond hurting. Those injuries that I felt so keenly now that I was truly free from that mortal shell.

The beat that softly thrummed, pulled me deeper and deeper into it's spell. My own song wound into it as this place pulled me into itself. I almost moaned with the deep pleasure of harmonizing with something so much bigger than myself.

"Now you know." Michael rose bonelessly and strode slowly toward me. Almost swaying to His own song that played a counterpoint to my quiet melody. The spirit of that place wove our two songs together as one and I felt afire with it.

I realized that Michael had eased down to sit beside me, and I gasped. The aura that was ever present around Him was blazing. I reached to touch Him with awe making my hand tremble. The light faded to a soft glow and He was smiling softly as He captured my hand in His.

"You still want to go back?" He asked. The kindness in His voice about made me weep.

"No." I could only manage a whisper. And slowly the spell that place cast around us, let us go. Lingering as if reluctant to break away from contact. I whimpered as I felt it leave.

"It's still there," Michael said, understanding.

"My god. I never knew."

"I know." He released my hand to brushed a lock from my forehead. "You're finally on the correct path." He rose and reached down to me. "Come walk with me for a little while." He eyes were intense with something far beyond my comprehension. I stared up at Him for long moments before placing my hand in His, hesitantly. His coat fell from my shoulders as I stood. I stared dumbly at it until He leaned to pick it up and wrap it around me shoulders.

"Thank you," I murmured absently. The fire continued to crackle in good humor behind Him and I found myself seeing it with new eyes. The colors were richer, more intense, as they swirled around in their own private dance. "I...I'm not worthy to see this." The ache in my heart was suffocating me.

Michael lifted my face toward His. "You are. Come with me." He tossed a glance at the ring of fire and it slowly died away into nothing. The darkness swallowed us as He gently lead me along.

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Thank you again for reading with me! Coming back from such a painfully long time from writing, I hope this chapter is up to par. As Spring slowly warms the air, I hope to find myself more inspired. ^_^
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A/N on 09-14-2010 - After taking quite a long break from this story, I have been writing on it regularly again. (I'm working on chapter 16 now.) However, I have plans to publish it at some point next year under the title _Fragile Bones_. If you stumble across this story and like what you've read so far, I hope you will keep a look-out for it, fully edited, in book form soon. Thank you again, everyone for reading with me!