Take Me From This Pain, Brian's story

Brian looked around the small restaurant uncomfortably. He was still confused about why Matt insisted they go out to celebrate his birthday. It wasn\'t like he\'d done that in the last few years and the thought of doing so now only served to unnerve him even more.

\"Will you at least pretend to have fun?\" Matt frowned at him from across the table.

He was still trying to get the boy out of his slump since Kevin left for the East. Matt sighed as he remembered Saturday morning. Kevin, Gina and Jason stopped by Matt\'s house on the way to the airport to say their goodbyes. Matt pulled Kevin aside and gave him a cell phone that he\'d had registered in Jason\'s name. It was a twin of the one he\'d be giving Brian tonight, registered in Matt\'s name. Matt wasn\'t taking any chances that Gary might not be as stupid as he looked. The phones had that walkie-talkie feature so that Kevin could communicate with Brian at any time. Both brothers had thanked him gratefully before disappearing into his room for half an hour. Neither of them disclosed what had been said but Matt sadly noted the drying tear tracks on both their faces.

\"I\'m not used to stuff like this,\" Brian huffed as he stirred his cola with the cocktail straw.

The place Matt had taken him was nicer than any he could remember being in. Of course, he\'d only been to fast-food establishments before this. His mom hadn\'t been able to afford much else as she was trying to pay off their house on her meager income and their dad\'s pension. And it wasn\'t as if Gary was the entertaining sort. He didn\'t even acknowledge his and Kevin\'s birthdays in the past, so Brian never celebrated anymore. But he could see that this was important to Matt for some reason so he sighed and tried to wipe the frown from his face.

\"Hey, happy birthday!\"

Brian turned to see Ryan ease into a chair next to his.

\"About time,\" Matt grinned. \"Where the hell were you?\"

\"Picking something up,\" Ryan replied as he slid a wrapped box onto the table between himself and Brian, who eyed it warily. \"Hey, this IS a birthday party, isn\'t it?\"

\"You didn\'t get me anything, did you?\" Brian squeaked.

It was too much. He hadn\'t had presents in years either. Well, real presents, anyway. He and Kevin had always marked each other\'s birthday with a small homemade gift. Kevin would draw Brian pictures of fantasy worlds, while Brian would write stories to go along with them. It wasn\'t much, but it made them happy. In fact, Kevin had given him a batch of sketches just before he\'d left for the airport. The box on the table brought this back to him and the tear he\'d been trying to hold back slowly trickled down his cheek.

\"Bri, what\'s wrong?\" Matt asked instantly alarmed. He didn\'t know what triggered this reaction and felt powerless to comfort the kid.

\"N-nothing,\" Brian sniffled.

\"I\'m sorry,\" Ryan sighed.

\"It\'s not your fault,\" the small blonde smiled sadly. \"It\'s just that I haven\'t had a real birthday gift since my mom died.\"

\"Not one?\" Matt frowned.

\"Well, Kevin and I would make each other things, but I haven\'t celebrated, you know, with a cake and all that, since Gary took us over.\"

Matt silently seethed inside. The more he heard about this Gary guy, the more he wanted to beat his head in. Yeah, he decided, there was room for violence in his life. He just had to direct it to the deserving parties. And anyone who hurt Brian was a deserving party. But he didn\'t want Brian to focus on Gary now. He intended to make this a happy night for the kid.

\"What did you and Kevin do for each other?\" Ryan suddenly asked curiously.

Matt looked at his friend in amusement. He knew Ryan was fascinated with Brian now that he\'d been getting to know the kid. Ryan had carefully probed the small blonde at length over the last few days about his mother and father and what his life was like when he was younger, before she was ill. It was like he was trying to put the kid together piece by piece. But when he saw Brian get upset, he would back off and change the subject to something neutral. Brian apparently took no notice of Ryan\'s careful scrutiny, answering the questions that didn\'t upset him as candidly as he could and shrinking away from the other subjects he didn\'t like to discuss.

\"Well,\" Brian started, kind of embarrassed to be talking about these things. \"Kevin\'s a talented artist. So he would draw me pictures based on science fiction and fantasy themes. We didn\'t have money for him to use paints or colored pencils, but if you looked at a picture long enough, you could see the colors in your mind. I\'ve kept all of the ones he\'s done for me in a folder.\"

\"He gave them to you for your birthday?\" Ryan asked, leaning back in his chair.

\"Yeah. He would give me four or five or so.\"

\"And your drew for him on his birthday?\" Matt piped in.

Ryan didn\'t look away from Brian. The kid\'s eyes shone a brilliant green when he talked about his brother\'s drawings. He could tell Brian appreciated Kevin\'s talent greatly.

\"No, I would write the stories that went with the pictures for his gift. He says he loves to see what I can come up with. We started this ritual pretty early on, when my mother was still with us.\"

\"How many have you done?\" Ryan asked.

\"I\'ve written about eight or so,\" Brian said thoughtfully.

\"I\'d like to read them,\" Matt said offhandedly. He didn\'t want Brian to see how much he wanted to read them. He knew that reading them would give him another side of Brian\'s psyche.

\"I handwrote all of them,\" Brian said, blushing. \"Kevin took them with him to Connecticut.\"

\"Would you mind asking him to photocopy them?\" Ryan asked. \"If it\'s okay with you, I mean. I love fantasy stories.\"

\"I guess that would be cool,\" Brian replied. \"I can also photocopy the sketches if you want.\"

\"That\'d be great!\" Matt smiled.

The waitress came to take their dinner orders and they passed the rest of the meal in casual conversation about school and sports. Brian couldn\'t really contribute much to the sports conversation, but he listened avidly to Ryan and Matt. He\'d been accompanying Matt to his various sports practices after school and loved to watch the larger boy play. Matt was pretty much a natural in all of his sports activities and Brian couldn\'t help but feel a little envious. When Matt was on the field or distracted, a few of the players would tease Brian as he watched, but Ryan would put a stop to it with a glare or a shove, so now they didn\'t bother him anymore.

He was thrilled that the two wanted to read his stories, but he was also nervous. What if they didn\'t like them as much as Kevin did? Brian didn\'t think he was a good writer, but Kevin enjoyed the stories. But now he would have two unbiased opinions. He just hoped they were honest with him if they didn\'t like them.

When the table was cleared and the cake slices were ordered, Ryan pushed the box towards the small blonde and smiled. He was hoping he\'d chosen a good gift for the kid. Brian gingerly took the box and quietly began to unwrap it. Matt and Ryan exchanged quizzical looks both realizing Brian was savoring the moment.

At last the paper fell away from the box and the gift was revealed: a brand new watch. Brian looked at it carefully before opening the box and pulling it out. He\'d never had his own watch before. It may seem silly to most people, but he never liked the idea of having to ask strangers for the time when there were no clocks around. The watch Ryan had given him had a lot of cool gadgets on it, too. There was a calculator panel and it could hold fifty phone numbers. Not that Brian would ever know that many people, but it was really cool!

\"Thank you, Ryan!\" he exclaimed. \"This is the coolest watch!\"

\"It\'s not bad,\" Ryan shrugged, smiling at him in relief. He didn\'t know what Brian would want for a gift but he hadn\'t seen the kid wear a watch, so he figured he needed one. Matt grinned at him from across the table and Ryan shrugged again.

\"Okay, now here\'s my gift,\" the jock said reaching into his pocket.

\"No,\" Brian said flatly.

\"Brian . . .\"

\"No, Matt!\" the small blonde said with a scowl pushing his glasses up on his nose to emphasize his point. \"You\'ve already bought me way too much! I can\'t accept any gifts from you!\"

Matt smiled inwardly, making sure he didn\'t show it. He knew Brian would put up a stink about the things he\'d been buying him. But Matt was prepared for it. He glanced over at his other friend who sat back and watched the scene with equal amusement.

\"Bri,\" Matt said softly, turning back to the glaring boy. If that boy only knew how cute Matt saw him, he\'d never lay in the same bed with him again. Remembering his conversation with Jason, he made a mental note to commiserate with him on a regular basis. \"This isn\'t anything big.\"

\"I don\'t care,\" Brian crossed his arms and grunted. \"Enough is enough.\"

\"Come on, man,\" Ryan cajoled. \"It\'s your birthday.\"

\"And he\'s already paying for dinner,\" Brian turned his fulminating gaze on Ryan now.

Ryan grinned like a pirate. This kid was definitely more fun than he\'d ever expected. And if he thought Matt was being overly generous now, wait until they started dating! Ryan remembered how generous Matt was with his girlfriends, and he wasn\'t even in love with them. He was pretty sure his jock friend was headed in that direction now, even if Brian didn\'t know yet. Ryan briefly wondered if the kid would be disgusted with the thought of another man touching him, but dismissed that notion. Love was love, and he was beginning to see that Brian just needed to have someone to love him. Gender would doubtfully be an issue.

\"You\'re 18, for Pete\'s sake!\" he tried again. \"It\'s a big birthday!\"

Matt watched the two with a grin of his own. It was almost as if Ryan was trying to help him convince Brian to give him a chance. But that couldn\'t be. Well, he wouldn\'t look a gift horse in the mouth. Ryan\'s help was appreciated.

\"Whatever!\" Brian growled. \"The point is, he\'s already given me too much and I can\'t keep taking without giving something back.\"

Ah. So that\'s it, is it? Matt mentally rubbed his palms together gleefully. Two could play at this game.

\"So, how about giving something back, then?\" he asked nonchalantly as he sipped his Coke.

\"Huh?\" Brian turned those amazing emerald orbs back to him and Matt felt the thrill of having his undivided attention again.

\"You can repay me by helping me with class,\" he replied.

What? Brian\'s mind reeled. Didn\'t this guy remember he was repeating the eleventh grade?

\"What\'s wrong?\" Ryan asked calmly.

\"I, um, I\'m repeating a grade because I failed last year,\" Brian said looking down in shame.

\"Yeah, but you\'ve just told me you like to write and I\'m taking creative writing this semester,\" Matt pointed out.

\"How do you know if I\'m any good?\" Brian asked, peeking up.

\"You can\'t be any worse than him,\" Ryan grinned again. \"He sucks at coming up with story ideas.\"

Matt smiled sheepishly.

\"Well, I guess that could work,\" Brian relented.

\"And you are in senior science,\" Matt continued. \"We can study together.\"

\"But you\'re not doing lousy in that class,\" Brian protested.

\"But you\'re doing better,\" Ryan said. \"And you could help me, too.\"

\"You\'re pulling A\'s in science!\" Brian accused him.

\"Yeah, but so are you,\" Ryan shrugged. \"More study time couldn\'t hurt my score.\"

Brian looked suspicious but he only nodded. Matt\'s smiled widened as he pulled the phone from his pocket and placed it in front of the blonde.

\"A phone?\" Brian asked as he picked it up in puzzlement.

\"It has a walkie-talkie feature,\" Matt replied, winking at Ryan. They both pulled out their own phone, which were remarkably similar. \"Push that button on the top there.\"

Brian looked up at him uncertainly then did as he was told. \"Hello?\"

\"Happy birthday!\" Kevin called back through the phone.

\"KEVIN?!\" Brian squeaked, pressing the button down again. \"You have one, too?\"

\"Matt gave it to me before we left,\" Kevin replied. \"He wanted us to be able to talk whenever we needed to.\"

Brian looked across the table at Matt in complete gratitude. He didn\'t know what to say. Matt smiled back at him happily. The tears in the corner of Brian\'s eyes said it all.