The Gay Man's Matchmaker

Oh my God! Joey Gillson’s back! Oh my God, he said he wants me! My brain has been infiltrated with a bunch of screaming cheerleaders, and I can’t turn them the fuck off! My heart was racing as I scanned the bar for his retreating form … not finding it. What the fuck? Is he a goddamned ninja? I turned forward in my seat again and couldn’t seem to help tapping excitedly on the table.

“What’s with you?” Tommy laughed as he plopped back into his seat.

“Oh … um …”

“What happened?” Lauren asked.

“Kee?” Tommy prompted.

Call me a vindictive prick, but I didn’t want to share my news with them right away. Hey, these two have been the bane of my goddamned existence for the last two weeks. They’d almost got me raped, for Christ sakes! Okay, maybe not. I am one lethal bastard when pissed off. And Trevor pissed me off big time!

“Just wondering if Lord of the Pants finagled a date out of you,” I grinned back suggestively, enjoying the way his cheeks turned mottled with red. (He deserved that, so stop “tsking” me!)

“He tried his best,” Lauren laughed. “But I made like Tommy was my bitch, and told him to screw off!”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed until tears rolled down my cheeks. This would make vamping her up that much more fun!

“Damn it!” my best friend erupted as he turned to his fiancée. “You didn’t have to play the dominatrix!” Then he turned a fulminating glare onto me. “And just who was that golden guy we saw leaving here a few minutes ago?”

He saw him? Damn! I wanted to keep this under wraps for a while! Oh well. He’ll find out somehow, so here goes.

“Remember Joey Gillson?” I asked innocently.

“That was him?” Tommy asked in a quiet, cold voice.

Now, to the average observer, that tone wouldn’t have raised suspicion. But to those of us who know and loathe … I mean love him, we knew better. Tommy was on full alert for some reason … oh, I guess Joey was the reason. But why the fuck was he so pissed?

“Um …”

“It was, wasn’t it, Kee?”

“Um, Tom?” Lauren tried to intervene. She wasn’t and idiot, and knew exactly what the “tone” meant. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why are you interrogating Kee?”

“Because Joey Gillson apparently approached him, and he wasn’t going to tell me.”

“Why should that fucking matter?” I demanded, highly insulted. “I refuse to volunteer any information when you’re holding my life hostage.”

“Drop the bullshit,” he shot back. “This has nothing to do with the rule. You know I hate Gillson.”

“But what I don’t fucking know is why!”

“I have my reasons.”

“Care to share them?” Lauren cut in, displaying a temper of her own. Oh, she had one, and it rivaled Tommy’s. Good thing, because he could be a real prick when he was pissed.

“No.”

“Then don’t expect me to understand!” I hissed.

“What did he want?”

“Why should I tell you?”

“Because I’m asking you to,” he growled. “Now … what did he fucking want?”

Okay, now I don’t want to just rip Tommy’s arms off, I want to smash his head into a wall. Who the fuck is he to refuse to answer my questions but demand I answer his?

“Who the fuck are you to demand answers when you won’t answer my questions?”

“I second that,” Lauren piped in, clearly peeved at him. It’s good to have an ally for once.

Tommy’s glare didn’t soften and I knew we’d reached an impasse. He wasn’t budging and fuck if I was going to tell him what Joey said. He’d probably find a way to lock my ass up like Rapunzel. Can you see Joey climbing a braid of my hair up to the fourteenth floor? It would be hot, but I can’t.

“Kee …?”

“Fuck off!”

“Tommy, you know he has high enough blood pressure as it is.”

“It’s not going to get any better until I get answers,” he boomed back at her, making her jump for a second. Then her eyes narrowed, and I knew he’d crossed that invisible line every woman has. I cringed in anticipation and sat back in my seat.

“Don’t you raise your voice at me, jackass!” she shrieked. “I’m not some little bimbo who sits back and listens to everything you say!”

“I didn’t mean that you were …” he tried to placate her. Big mistake.

“Oh no? That’s why you’re yelling at me.”

“I didn’t mean to yell.”

“So your voice just accidentally slipped in volume?”

She was on fire! If I was straight, I’d have a serious … um, problem. But since I’m gay, I don’t, so I just sat back and enjoyed the show. No one cut Tommy down like Lauren. She was successful businesswoman. She knew how to handle the big boys.

“I’m sorry!”

“You’d better be,” she seethed. Then she turned to me and smiled. “You okay, hon?”

“Better now,” I said weakly.

“Oh, cut the act!” Tommy griped.

“You leave him alone!” she turned back to him. “Either explain why you hate the guy, or drop it!”

Tommy bent his blonde head over his beer and sighed. I had to admit, I almost felt sorry for him. Almost! Remember, he was the reason I was in this situation.

“Remember fifth grade?” he asked as he looked back up at me. I nodded. “I didn’t wrestle him because I had some big interest in the sport.”

I quirked an eyebrow up in confusion. “Why then?”

“He and his friends were talking about you in the bathroom,” he said seriously. “They were discussing your … and I quote … girly clothes and long hair. His friend Chris said he bet you were a girl underneath your pants and maybe after the meet they could celebrate by finding out.” His eyes hardened. “Joey volunteered to … find out. And leave you on the school field, tied to the swings.”

I puzzled over this for a minute. We were kids back then. What were we, ten … eleven? Could I hold something like this against him? He probably didn’t even know he was gay back then. I didn’t. I suspected I was different, but I didn’t know why.

“I know, we were kids,” Tommy answered my unasked question. I hate when he fucking does that! “But there’s more.” More?

I looked across the table to Lauren. Her expression was neutral now, but pensive. I didn’t know what else to do, so I nodded for him to continue.

“In high school, back when you weren’t out yet,” Tommy went on. “Back when I was the only one who knew about it, he and Chris would wonder about you. I know because I kept a close eye on the fucker!” His voice spewed venom on the last word. “Anyway, they had a bet to see if they could get you to admit you were …”

He broke off there because he knew how much I hated the slang straights use to label us … to make us know we’re different from them.

“A bet?” I asked. And he nodded. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Why should I have?” he shrugged. \"You were already going through enough shit with your family suspecting, and worrying about what would happen if they found out. I didn’t want you to have to spend your school hours looking over your shoulder, too.” He downed a gulp of beer. “That’s why I kept a close eye on him wherever he was … Chris, too. It didn’t hurt that they always tried out for every team together and hung out all the time.”

“Geez! You should have just asked him if he was gay!” Lauren said. “It might have made things easier on you.”

“I don’t regret it,” Tommy laughed. “All the sports on my transcript helped me get into a killer college. Besides,” he grinned at me, “that’s what best friends do for each other.”

I swallowed and looked away sadly having had no idea he’d actually done all of that to look out for me. He’d never said anything. And I’d been a real bastard to him lately because of this whole rule thing. Remind me to tell you that story one of these days. You’ll love it. But back to Joey. Was this what I was to him? Unfinished high school business? I didn’t know what to think.

“So …” Tommy shrugged.

“He said he came back here for me,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Tommy’s eyes instantly hardened again, and I knew he was back on full alert now. But I couldn’t help myself. He was my best friend, and he’d done a lot more for me growing up than I’d realized. I still had no proof that Joey was back to finish a bet, but … better the devil you know, right?

“He said that?” Lauren whispered in shock.

I nodded dumbly.

“Well, he’s in for a hell of a surprise,” Tommy muttered darkly.