Forbidden Memories

Soft moans for each lingering taste. But as Fall crawled up over him KC had a sudden burst of energy flipping them both over - now straddling the playful youth. Leaning down he kissed him deeply, arms slipping around him, leaning back slightly to straddle Fall\'s lap so that the youth could sit up. Tongue darting into the dark recesses of his mouth, to taste himself in the youth\'s mouth. His fingers once again dancing along Fall\'s spine. His hips grind down slightly against the one beneath him. Mmm now KC was going play with him. He didn\'t have the strength at the moment to fuck the other, but he did just want to play, and there had never been any objections to just playing before. He knew Fall belonged to someone else now, but he was going to take this time anyway while he could. Kisses kisses moved from his lips to the neck again. Lower, finding that spot just between shoulder and neck. Just right.

Fall squeaked in surprise as he was flipped over, sitting up during the kiss. The youth purred into it, eyes half lidding. Hands then finding KC\'s chest, scratching up and down. Back arched, the youth wriggling some and pushing back up with a grinding response. Oh damn. Lost control, lost control again. A nervous swallow, arms sliding around KC\'s stomach and waist, head tilting back with the onslaught of kisses. Fall started when lips found that senstive spot that had been torn out. Oh gods, oh gods. \"Ah, damn, KC...\" That was Fall\'s new \"instahorny\" spot. before it had been where the tattoo of the dragon was, not it was where Alain had torn his throat out. Bizzare, yes, but true. Playing was fine, although Fall wasn\'t really into hours of foreplay. He had been, and lord knows he might be again if KC was as good as he used to be, but Fall really had to be in the mood for hours of foreplay before leaping into it. Teeth pulled his lower lip, arching a little more and tilting his head, exposing more of that sensitive spot for KC to ravish.

A soft laugh against the spot, hands slipping down Fall\'s chest, gentle nails grazing over his nipples. The tiny kisses moved along the youth\'s shoulder letting his tongue dart out now and then to tast the soft flesh. KC knew what he was doing, Lord knew he wasn\'t Fall caliber, but in the same instance he tried so hard. One hand remained on the boy\'s chest the other moved to curl into the skin of his hip. Whispering into his shoulder \"I\'ve missed touching you Fall...\" The hand on the hip slipping around and low to let the fingers curl into his arse. Kisses moving over to his throat up under his chin, back down his throat and neck, breast bone, slow tender kisses. Where they\'d go next was anyone\'s guess. KC\'s kisses were always sporatic and uncertain, but that was the fun of it. Tongue ran down the breast bone, then a deep kiss of the flesh there, tasting and savoring. He had many ways of doing many different things, he wanted to remind the youth of them if he could and he would try his damnest to do so.

Fall moaned softly, one hand dipping back and leaning against it for balance. The other lifted, curling through KC\'s damp hair, smiling a little. \"...I missed you...\" He whispered softly in reponse. It was true. Many years had passed, many, many years. And there was rarely a day that had gone by where he hadn;t even paused and thought for a second about KC. Tongue flickered over his own lips, Fall\'s own then pursing as he wriggled underneath the other;s weight. What was going to happen? What was he going to do to him? Where *would* he kiss next? A small frown, a deep purr and baby blues lifting and glancing up at the ceiling that was painted blue. This was Fall\'s room. The room he never slept in, for he was always in the master\'s bed. God, Fall, what are you doing. You\'ve \"cheated\" on Cyn thousands of times, but never in the man\'s house. Sweet christ, but it felt good, despite the raging guilt. Eyes slipped shut and he shifted some, nails scratching over KC\'s shoulder and down his arm. \"Oh damn baby....\"

Suddenly he stopped, pulling away. Carmel eyes looking sad. Unsure. His teeth drew his lower lip between them. KC knew what Fall was, had always been. A whore. But between them there had always been something better than \'just a fuck\' now though he wasn\'t sure. \"I\'m sorry.\" he rolled off reluctantly. \"I...\" the emotions in KC\'s gaze spoke louder than any words ever could. He was afraid of being just another client. Heart breaking as he sat there, knees pulled up to himself, arms wrapped tightly around them. Well aware he could never have the youth\'s heart and that he could deal with, but he refused to be just another of the many with no purpose but to Fall at the youth\'s feet. God. Please, kiss me or something, show me you want me for more than the possiablity of getting in trouble or just to be fucked. Silently his mind screamed. Because if all he ever would be was just a rush, then he would take the life and such offered but he would not be used. Far too much of that had happened in the alley after Damion had disappeared.

Empty, pulled off. Cold. It was like a whole new form of rejection. It...He wanted to cry. What the hell? Oh yea, you\'ll get sucked off, but when it comes to playing with him, oh no, we suddenly get cold feet? It wasn\'t about the rush or anything, it was about them. Heart was hammering and he pulled up a bit, head tiling. \"....Sorry? For what?\" He whispered softly, all ready for getting up off the bed and padding off to get dressed. It was, like some sort of rejection. People pulling away from him didn\'t happen. Oh, sure, he\'d been rejected before and it hurt, like a hot icy dagger plunged in somewhere senstive. But he was never...rejected after sucking someone off. They all wanted him after that, they wanted him again and again too... He was about to get angry, what had he done wrong? What *was* wrong? Rejection of sex, with Fall, was a rejection of Fall. It was how he expressed himself to people, and well...\"...Have..Have I done something wrong?\" Came the whisper. He wasn\'t about to kiss KC, because the sudden panic of his own inadequecy was thumping down onto his shoulder and threating to ruin his own self esteem, as so happened every so often. \"What have I done wrong? I\'ll do it right, I\'ll fix it...what is it KC...\" He just wanted to make him happy. He *thought* that KC had wanted to be sucked off. Maybe he hadn\'t maybe Fall had screwed up, again. Oh god...\"Oh god I\'m sorry. You didn\'t want to did you?\" Small, disheartened whisper...

KC looked up at the youth surprised. Grasping Fall\'s wrist he pulled him down on the bed. \"Listen to me my dearest Damion... Fall. Whichever you prefer...\" His eyes closed as he paused, he hated himself now, he had made the youth doubt himself. \"I wanted it, it\'s not you. It\'s me. I don\'t have any faith in myself.\" Hand lifted and brushed away the hair from Fall\'s face. \"You aren\'t mine anymore, and I suppose I\'m afraid I could never compare to whomever you\'re with now. That I\'ll just be another fuck.\" Every word spoken was yanked from his very soul, if one listened carefully the scream of them could possiably be heard. Kneeling on the bed he kissed the youth again, deeply as though to prove it wasn\'t him, but KC himself. \"I want you more than life itsself, always have Fall, you know that. But I don\'t know if I could deal with being inadaquate. All those years ago I knew that I was perfect for you, knew it was me who\'s arms you return to even after being with someone else, but I never feared not being good enough for you. Now... now that terrifies me.\" His carmel eyes met baby blues hopeing beyond hope Fall would understand. God. Please don\'t let me have fucked this up beyond repair. Fingers continued to caress his cheek just waiting... waiting.