You Don't Know Me

“So this is where you work?” Michelle’s voice caught Marcus off guard. As he turned around behind the counter of the skate shop, he smiled widely at her, his blue eyes bright.

“Thanks so much for doing this,” Marcus said. When he had spoken to Michelle the night before, he had mentioned that Peter was going to start working with him after school that day, but that his shift would end two hours before Marcus’s. This meant the teen was stuck sitting at the skate shop, waiting for Marcus to finish. Michelle had immediately offered to pick up Peter and drive him back to Marcus’s apartment.

“It’s no problem,” Michelle told him, smiling shyly. She looked over and saw Peter sitting in a chair not far away, reading a book. “Hey, jail bait,” she joked, making Peter look up. “You ready to head out of here?”

Smiling bashfully, Peter nodded at Michelle. He didn’t usually like new people, but Michelle had been really nice to him on Saturday. “Thanks for driving me,” he replied, rising and reaching for his bookbag.

“Has this slave-driver fed you yet?” Michelle asked, throwing a teasing glance towards Marcus.

Shaking his head, Peter walked towards the counter. “No, but I’ll grab a sandwich or something back at Marcus’s place-”

“Or we could stop and get something before I drop you off,” Michelle interrupted. “Something greasy and salty and totally bad for us… That is, if you’re not embarrassed to be seen with a dorky old lady like me.”

Watching Michelle admiringly, Marcus smiled when Peter conceded. “Is it okay if I call you when I get home?” Marcus asked when Michelle rested her eyes on him again.

“I’ll be insulted if you don’t,” Michelle gave him a grin. She wanted very badly to lean across the counter and kiss him just then, but she knew that would probably be inappropriate, considering this was his place of work. “Okay, come on Peter. I’m thinking burgers, fries, and really fattening chocolate shakes.”

“Sounds great,” Peter smiled, looking at Marcus. “And I’ll see you in a few hours?”

“Just don’t eat so much that you get sick,” Marcus joked. “Cause then I’ll be the one cleaning up after you tonight.”

“Bye, Marcus,” Michelle said, her voice suddenly soft.

“Bye,” Marcus watched as Peter and Michelle walked out. He stood silently for a moment, a goofy grin plastered on his face. He still couldn’t believe that he was getting a second chance with Michelle, and tonight was just another indicator of why he felt that way.

-----

Peter was on the phone when Marcus entered the apartment a few hours later. “No, thanks Aunt Noreen,” he said into the handset, his voice soft. “I really appreciate it. Yeah, you too,” he said, his cheeks turning red as he hung up the phone.

“That was your aunt?” Marcus asked, his voice hopeful, as he slid off his jacket. Peter’s mother had a younger sister that didn’t live far, and Peter had always gotten along with her. Marcus had spoken to her the day before, and she was considering letting Peter stay with her and her husband. This would mean Peter didn’t have to go back home to a house filled with abuse.

A grin slid across Peter’s face. “She said she talked about it with Uncle Charlie, and they decided I could stay there.” Before Peter knew what was happening, Marcus had walked over and thrown his arms around him.

“That’s so great,” Marcus told Peter. He felt the younger boy’s nervousness as he was embraced, and he knew Peter’s parents never really showed him affection. He refused to let that cycle continue, though. He patted Peter’s back as he hugged him, until he felt him finally give in and hug back.

“But they are going to have to move some things around in the house,” Peter pulled back, looking at Marcus. “They only have one extra room, and it’s filled with boxes right now. They wanted me to ask you…” his voice trailed off, his nervousness obvious. “It’ll just be until Sunday…”

“That’s so not a problem,” Marcus immediately replied, glad to see relief passing over Peter’s face. “It hasn’t been so horrible having you around,” he joked. “I do have a date with Michelle Saturday night, so you’ll have to fend for yourself then.”

“Thanks, Marcus,” Peter said, his dark eyes filled with appreciation.

“Like I said,” Marcus repeated, walking towards the kitchen and sitting down at the table. “It’s no problem. So how was dinner with Michelle? Was she horribly insulting?”

Laughing, Peter sat opposite Marcus. “No… well, yes, but in a joking way. She’s really nice.”

“Yeah,” Marcus grinned. “She is.”

“She reminds me of a girl I go to school with…” Peter’s face suddenly flushed with a blush again.

Leaning in conspiratorially, Marcus grinned at Peter. “Yeah?” he asked. “What’s her name?”

Biting his lip, Peter stared at the table. “Her name’s Maura. She doesn’t look like Michelle or anything… She just moved here last month, and we talk sometimes.”

Raising his eyebrows, Marcus smiled. “So do you like her?”

Lifting his shoulders in a shrug, Peter’s blush deepened. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “She was really hard to get to know at first. She’d always insult me when we first met, and she kind of still does sometimes, but she’s really cool…”

“And you guys have stuff in common?” Marcus really enjoyed this big-brother role he got to take with Peter. He’d often wished, when he was growing up, that he had had a younger brother.

Nodding, Peter looked up. “We like all the same music and stuff,” he said, his voice nervous. “Actually, she’s going to a show on Friday night, and I was kind of hoping maybe you and I could go too…”

Looking at Peter, Marcus smiled. He got out at six on Friday, and Peter wasn’t scheduled to work that night. “I’d love to,” Marcus said honestly.

“Thank you,” Peter said, relief flooding his expression. “I don’t really have any friends at school – I mean, since I quit drugs – and I didn’t want to go alone…”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Marcus told Peter seriously. “I love hanging out with you.” Seeing the embarrassed expression on the teens face, he quickly changed the subject. “So what do you say I kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto again?”

“Should you really be playing a game that’s all about stealing cars and beating up people with a juvenile delinquent like me?” Peter laughed as he rose from the table.

“You forget,” Marcus chuckled back. “I was the original teen troublemaker. You are merely a pale comparison…”

-----

“I’m sorry,” Marcus whispered as Michelle answered the phone. “Is it too late to call? I didn’t want to wake your parents, but I forgot to call earlier, and I got caught up in this video game with Peter…”

”I have my own line,” Michelle chuckled into the phone. “And yes, while you were rude enough to wake me after midnight…” Her voice got softer. “I’m really glad you called.”

Sighing in relief, Marcus leaned against the hallway wall. “I’m sorry,” he told her earnestly. “I just got to talking and hanging out with Peter-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Michelle said honestly, pulling herself up a bit in her bed. “I can understand. He’s a great kid. So did he tell you how awful and evil I was tonight?”

“Quite the opposite,” Marcus grinned, sitting down on the hallway floor. “He told me that you reminded him of a girl he goes to school with that he has a crush on.”

“He did not,” Michelle exclaimed.

“Yes he did,” Marcus told her. “And he asked me to go with him to a show on Friday where this mini-Michelle will be. We didn’t have plans to hang out that night, did we?”
His voice was nervous, and it was obvious that the last thing Marcus wanted to do was ditch out on Michelle.

“Not at all,” Michelle assured him. “Sean and I were planning on hanging out, just the two of us. We haven’t gotten a chance to do that in a while. We both agreed to ditch our boyfr…” Michelle’s voice suddenly faltered. Shit, she thought. That was so not what she meant to say. She and Marcus were in a weird situation right now. There had definitely been no discussion on whether they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Michelle felt like her stomach was a lead weight, and she wanted nothing more than to say something to backtrack, but she couldn’t find her voice.

“Ditch your boyfriends?” Marcus asked softly. He knew she hadn’t meant to say it, but he was glad she did. “Is that what you think of me as?” he prodded gently. “As your boyfriend?”

Fear was overtaking Michelle. How should she respond? What did Marcus want her to say? “I, um, I meant Sean’s boyfriend… and you… and me… fuck.”

Laughing, Marcus leaned his head back against the wall. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “We don’t have to adhere to labels just yet. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if you thought of me as your boyfriend, but if you’re not ready, I do understand.”

Feeling a lump forming in her throat, Michelle willed back the sharp hint of tears that were stinging her eyes. She couldn’t understand why Marcus liked her to begin with, and she definitely couldn’t understand why he was willing to put up with all her uncertainty and convolution. “I like you a lot, Marcus,” Michelle finally forced out. “I might even… I mean, I care about you. I’m just-”

“You’re just a pain in the ass,” Marcus teased, hoping to erase some of the fear and confusion in her voice. “And it’s one of my favorite things about you.”

“So I’ll see you in class tomorrow?” Michelle began winding down the conversation, needing to hang up before she said some other asinine remark.

“And I’m still taking you to dinner on Saturday,” Marcus reminded her.

“Unless I get a better offer before then,” Michelle started feeling a bit more like herself.

“That’s my girl,” Marcus chuckled. “Always with the romantic last words.”

“Goodnight, Marcus.”

“Goodnight. Try not to have too many dreams about me naked…”

Before Michelle could respond with a retort, Marcus had hung up. She smiled as she hung up her phone and settled back into her bed. If only he knew just how true his last statement had been, he would probably be shocked, Michelle giggled to herself.

-----

Wandering through the cramped dark club, Marcus followed Peter into the crowd. Being an all-ages show, most of the patrons were several years younger than Marcus. This was actually relaxing for him, though, since it meant few people were drinking.

Peter stopped so suddenly, Marcus accidentally bumped into him. He watched the younger boy’s face, which was coloring with a blush as he looked across the room. Marcus hadn’t said anything earlier as he had watched Peter get ready for the show, although he had had an incredible desire to tease him. Peter had spent over an hour getting ready – putting gel in his hair to spike it up, carefully applying black liner to his eyes, putting dark blue nail polish on, trying on several similar black-themed outfits before deciding on one. Although Marcus had never gone through a goth stage, he knew no matter what style or scene you were in, preening like this only meant one thing – a major crush.

“That’s her,” Peter motioned across the room. “That’s Maura.”

Following Peter’s gaze, Marcus saw the object of his crush. His eyes found a tiny girl, dyed black hair falling down her back. Her skin was pale, her lips red with ruby lipstick, her eyes rimmed with black eyeliner. She wore an oversized black dress and a scowl. Still, Marcus could see what Peter saw – the way this young girl’s eyes darted knowingly around the room, taking in people and making silent snide comments to herself. Yes, Maura was much like Michelle.

“So are you going to talk to her?” Marcus finally asked.

“I… um, I mean…”

“She’s alone,” Marcus said. “Now’s probably a good time.”

Looking at Marcus with nervousness, Peter bit his lip. “You think?”

“You know how you said Michelle reminded you of Maura?” Marcus asked, watching Peter glance across the room again before looking back and nodding.

“Well, when I first met Michelle, she hated me,” Marcus told him. “She did whatever she could to piss me off, basically trying to make go away. But I saw something in her…” Marcus smiled more to himself than to Peter. “Something so much cooler than other girls. So I kept talking to her – over and over, no matter how nasty she was. When you want something, Peter, you’ve got to go for it.”

Nodding, Peter gave Marcus a grin. “Michelle’s worth it,” Peter told him softly. “She’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.”

“Me too,” Marcus agreed. “Now go!”

“Okay,” Peter smiled with appreciation. “And I’ll introduce you later, if she doesn’t blow me off too badly first.”

“I look forward to it,” Marcus said.

-----

“Oh my God,” Marcus heard a familiar voice behind him. “You are so not at this show.”

Looking over, Marcus felt his heart drop. What the hell was Janette doing here?

“I could say the same thing about you,” he tried to keep his voice light. “You don’t really seem the teen-angst-velvet-and-lace-wearing type.” In all actuality, Janette stood out in the crowd more than him. His normal outfit of jeans, a punk band shirt, and a black hoodie mostly blended. The midriff bearing white tank top and short denim skirt Janette wore made her obvious in the crowd.

“I just came with a friend,” Janette replied with a slight slur, and suddenly Marcus could smell the alcohol on her breath. Jack Daniel’s, he was sure of it. “So what’s your excuse?” Janette asked, leaning against the bar for support.

Glancing over towards Peter and Maura, who were talking, Marcus looked back at Michelle. “Same as your’s,” he replied. “Here with a friend.”

“This is so weird,” Janette looked into his eyes and gave Marcus a shy smile. “I mean, you and I have so much in common, and even the shit we don’t have in common we share!” She laughed, the sound resounding with ever-growing drunkenness.

“Yeah, I guess that’s why we make such good friends,” Marcus tried to change the tone of what Janette was saying.

Staring hard at Marcus, Janette frowned slightly. “I don’t get you sometimes, Marcus,” she admitted. “I mean…” A blush crossed Janette’s cheeks. “I just… boys usually… but I don’t usually… but you don’t…” She looked confused and upset.

Taking her hand without thinking about it, Marcus gave Janette a small smile. “I don’t make sense,” he said simply. “And I apologize for anything I’ve done to add to the confusion that is me. I like you, Janette, and I want to be your friend.” His tone was serious and solid now.

“But just friends,” Janette said, more to herself than to Marcus. She had been staring down at her hand, held by Marcus’s, and was surprised when she looked up to see two young teenagers standing nearby. The girl was just watching the exchange between Janette and Marcus with interest, but the boy looked downright furious. Janette was even more surprised to feel Marcus immediately and forcefully drop her hand.

“Marcus, this is my friend Maura,” the younger boy’s voice was steely. “I told you I would introduce you if I got the chance.”

Glancing between Peter’s angry expression and Janette’s look of confusion, Marcus decided to focus on the one person that was just looking at him with simple interest. “Hi Maura, it’s really nice to meet you.” Looking over, he motioned towards Janette. “And this is my friend, Janette. Janette, this is Peter and Maura. Janette and I go to college together. We’re friends,” he repeated, cringing because he knew that repeating that sentiment only made it seem more false.

“How nice,” Peter said coldly. “Come on, Maura. The first band’s about to start.”

Before the young girl could even say a word, she was led back into the crowd by Peter. “Shit,” Marcus said to himself.

“What?” Janette asked, making Marcus jump. He had forgotten that she was still standing next to him. All he could focus on what the expression that was bored into his mind of Peter looking so disappointed in him. He hated disappointing anyone, especially someone who rarely trusted anyone like Peter.

“I’m sorry,” Marcus said to Janette, looking up. “I just think my friend got the wrong idea about us.”

“That kid?” Janette slurred, looking completely confused. “Why would he even care about anything going on between us?”

“It’s a long story,” Marcus said sadly, glancing back towards the crowd. He couldn’t see Peter or Maura in the crowd. “I just… I should find him.”

Reaching over, Janette put her hand on Marcus’s shoulder. “Could you just tell me what’s wrong with me?” she said, her voice shaking. Marcus looked into Janette’s eyes, gleaming with alcohol-fueled tears. “I mean, just tell me why…”

Taking a deep breath, Marcus looked at Janette. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he promised. “You’re great. We’re just not… it’s just, sometimes, two people can seem compatible, but…”

Biting her lip, a tear slid down Janette’s cheek as she pulled her hand back. “Don’t say that,” she begged softly. “Say what you said before. Say that you don’t want to date anyone right now.”

Looking into her drunken face, Marcus knew trying to be honest with Janette right now would do no one any good. “I don’t want to date anyone right now,” he lied sadly.

Nodding, Janette gave him a watery smile. “Okay,” she said softly. “I’m going to go find my friend now…”

“I’m going to do the same,” Marcus told her supportively. “But I’ll see you in class…?”

“I guess there’s no getting around that,” Janette replied with a sarcastic laugh. “But, anyway…”

“Yeah,” Marcus nodded. “Goodnight.”

Without a response, Janette stumbled back into the crowd, leaving Marcus to turn back to the large group of nearly identical black-wearing, eyeliner-sporting, angst-filled teens in search of Peter.

-----

The entire car-ride home Peter was silent. Marcus had immediately understood why the boy was angry. If Marcus was being unfaithful to Michelle, how could Peter trust him? Even though nothing had actually gone on between Marcus and Janette that night, he still got why the teenager in his passenger seat was upset.

Finally settling into the apartment, Marcus turned to Peter. “Come and talk to me,” he beckoned, heading into the kitchen. Peter looked distrustful, but he followed, sitting across the small kitchen table from Marcus. “Listen, I get why you’re upset. You like Michelle, and you want to be able to trust me, but you think that if I would do anything to hurt someone like Michelle, I’m not the type of person you can trust.”

Looking up, startled, Peter was shocked that Marcus had understood so clearly what he was feeling. It had taken all his courage to approach Maura. When he had finally spoken to her, she had started joking around with him, making fun of him as she usually did, but he had concentrated on what Marcus had told him earlier. When the conversation then begun to flow, he had glanced over, hoping for an approving look from the older boy who was already dating a similar girl, but instead had seen Marcus holding the hand of some random, generic, showy girl. Considering how he had liked Michelle almost immediately and how kind she had been to him, considering the things Marcus had said about pursuing a difficult girl like Michelle or Maura, and particularly considering how much trust Peter had put into Marcus – and trusting someone had been something that was very hard for him – he had just been very hurt to see Marcus acting so out of character.

“Why were you holding that girl’s hand?” Peter asked quickly, knowing he wanted a direct answer.

Shaking his head, Marcus shrugged. “The actual hand-holding was an automatic reaction. Janette was drunk and upset. See…” Marcus didn’t know what he should tell Peter, but he suddenly remembered that Peter wasn’t too young for the truth – hell, Catherine had been pregnant at Peter’s age. “At the beginning of this semester, Michelle wouldn’t have anything to do with me. It had been a couple months that she was acting like this. And Janette… well, she’s sort of liked me for a while, and we were studying one night, and one thing led to another… Anyway, I don’t want to be with Janette. I was really – truly – repeating that when you walked up. I just felt bad, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and grabbing her hand when she started to get upset – that just sort of happened.”

Studying Marcus with a scowl for several minutes, Peter finally relented. “You wouldn’t cheat on Michelle?” he asked, his voice hard.

“I promise,” he gave Peter a small smile. “I am falling hard for that girl. I swear I wouldn’t cheat.”

Nodding, Peter gave Marcus a small smile in return. “It’s just, with my past, people usually treat me like crap, but Michelle…”

“I know,” Marcus injected softly. “Believe me, I know. She knows everything about my past, and she doesn’t judge me. I could never hurt someone that good.”

“Okay,” Peter told him softly. “Just as long as we’re on the same page.”

“We are,” Marcus smiled. The smile was half because Peter seemed to be regaining his trust in Marcus, and half because Marcus was thinking about how amazing Michelle had to be to have someone as mistrustful as Peter take to her so quickly.