Band of Rusty Gold

Disclaimers: Original text not altered. Our text - naw.. the boys
haven\'t read and shagged their way through this story. We don\'t
think they\'d have survived it to be honest. :)

------------------------------


8 - The Short Lady and the Medium Height Lady


*Lij and Jason are busy snogging each other. So busy that they don\'t
notice a rather guilty looking Orli sidling back in*

Orli: *coughs quietly*

Lij: *pulls away from Jason* Who\'s there?

Orli: Um...it\'s me. Orli. I...I\'m sorry for leaving you in here,
mate.

Lij: *bouncing on Jason\'s lap* It\'s okay. Now.

Orli: Well, no..it\'s not. It was a bad, evil thing to do. And..And I
want to make it up to you. Fancy a shag?

Lij: *licks lips* Only if Jason\'s allowed too.

Orli: *brightens* Oh, but of course.

Jason: *cheers*

*Dirty Jasorlijah seks ensues*


//Chapter 8: Who could it be?//

Lij: Ooh, I wonder.

//Ally groaned as she felt the suns warm rays blind her eyes through
the warm yellow
curtains.//

Jason: She may need to see a doctor about that.

Orli: Hey, if she\'s blind, she won\'t be able to see you, Lij.
You\'re saved!

Lij: Don\'t forget Shalini.

//The night before was a little forward,//

Lij the the point of being presumptious, in fact. It brought its
toothbrush and used the old \"shall we shag now, or shall we shag
later?\" line on an unsuspecting Ally.

//un packing everything,//

Orli: That really *is* a forward night. Albeit pretty helpful.
Beats unpacking everything yourself, eh Ally?

Jason: That girl must be wonderwoman in disguise. Unpacking
everything after arriving, half-drugged, from the airport only the
night before? Pickford\'s Removals may have work for her if this
makeup therapy goes down the pan.

Lij: *picturing a lipstick lying on a black couch talking about its
problems. Starts laughing uncontrollably.*

//checking the
house it, had gone all too fast that Ally had collapsed on one of
the beds in the
bedrooms.//

Orli: As opposed to one of the beds in the garden?

Jason: I\'m not even starting on the punctuation. We could be here
all week.

//\"Ally wake up\" Shalini nudged her after opening up the white
blinds.//

Lij: Blinds that, moments ago, were warm yellow curtains?

Jason: They slept together?? Wooh! Hot girl seks! *nods to
Cinderelly*

Orli: *growls* You\'re not interested in *girls* are you, Jason?

Jason: No. Only pretties. *grabs Orli and Lij* And you are two of
the prettiest.

//Ally groaned and turned on to her back, she rubbed her eyes with
the back of her hands
and fought with the urge not to fall back to sleep//

Jason: Full bloody stop.

Lij: She fought with the urge? Like, wrestled it or something?

Orli: I\'m thinking she has a back fetish.

// \"It\'s light all ready\" she said sleepily.//

Orli: She\'s dead observant, our Ally.

//\"Yep and there\'s alot of work to be done\" Shalini demanded with
hands on hips, like a
mother.//

Lij: But they already did all the unpacking. What could possibly
need doing?

Orli: Where did this girl pretend to learn to write coherent
sentences??

//Ally opened her eyes and sat up, her hair wasn\'t all that tussled
but her black mascara
had smudged around her eyes abit. She gave a nod \"OK we need to go
shopping\" she
said heaving herself out of the bed, she still had her clothes on
from yesterday Shalini
noted as she watched Ally walk towards the open door.//

Jason: I\'m now on first name terms with every constable and sergeant
in the Punctuation Police.

Lij: Man, Ally\'s such a slob. Why would I want to date her?

Orli: Let alone marry her.

Lij: *glares*

//\"Er... Al you need a shower\" she grinned as Ally turned round and
looked at herself.//

Lij: Woah! Fucking contortionist now!

Jason: Shalini sure doesn\'t beat around the bush much, does she?

//\"Right, i don\'t think they\'ll like a new citizen that smells like
something gone off\" she
laughed and headed towards the small bathroom in the room.//

Orli: Who said that, Shalini or Ally? If it was Shalini, hey
sister! Ever heard of tact?

Lij: How did Ally get citizenship so damned quick?

Jason: You forget. There is no true timeframe.

Lij: *pashes Jason, just to keep the authors happy*

//~***~
\"What are you doing?\"
\"Making a cake\"
\"who for?\"
\"The new neighbours\"
\"Mum, i think that has got to old\"
\"I\'m only being kind, anyway they\'re all the way from England, so
I\'ve heard\"//

Orli: *snorts* England being a third world country and all. We
don\'t have cake, no miss. Ooh, a lovely cake. Why, what evvah shall
we do to repay such kindness? Here\'s three bob and an apple I
scrumped from Miss Havisham\'s garden. *nods to Dickens*

Lij: Who the fuck\'s talking?

//The short lady eyed the medium height lady//

Orli: Oh. My. Fucking. God.

//who was standing over her as she fixed the
pastry into the pie dish//

Lij: I thought it was a cake?

Jason: Americans.

Lij: *glares*

Orli: It\'s some new kind of cake. I, being English, do not
understand. Let\'s face it, we don\'t understand the concept of..
what is it again?

Jason: Ee...Ee... Eeleck.. tris.. itty?

Orli: That\'s the chap!

//\"Go and fetch your brother for me, please\" she told the young
lady with short choppy blonde hair.//

Lij: What colour were her eyes?! Dammit!

Jason: Is that supposed to be your sister? With the blonde hair and
the medium height?

//~***~
It only took a few hours to find the store and another hour to pile
the shopping into the
trolley and twenty minutes to load it in the boot of the car,//

Orli: And forty minutes to do a musical number, and five minutes for
Ally to find a willing Gigolo, and seven and a half minutes for
Shalini to start the car, and thirty seconds for Ally to get fucked,
and..

Jason: Yes?

Orli: *takes a breath* And.... half a second for Jason to jump me?
*bats lashes*

*half a second passes*

Orli: UMMMPH!!

//the weather was a warm but
had a slight breeze with it.//

Lij: It was a warm but? What?

//It was better then England by a mile.//

Orli: So everyone in England is gay *nods to shelleybeanz* and
really cold all the time? *looks over his seat back at the GSC
Girls* That\'s why I wear a scarf all the time!

//\"OK that wasn\'t too bad\" Ally nodded as she belted herself.//

Jason: Fucking hell! *This* is an interesting new side to Ally!
Sado-masochistic Ally!

//\"Yea\" Shalini nodded as she drove back towards the house.//

Lij: Yea, Oh Yea. Hear Ye This!

//\"But you have to remind me next to time to collect the exchanged
cash from the bank?\"//

Orli: *as Shalini* Nah, it was kind of funny to watch you offer to
pay them with sexual favours.

Jason: *as shop assistant* Ooh, an English pound note. Isn\'t that
queer?

//There was along pause of silence after Ally\'s comment, but both
blushed at the
embarrassment they caused in the large super market.//

Lij: And the stench.

//There goes their reputation. //

Orli: As what?? They *had* one??

//\"You know i should drive sometime\"
Shalini\'s eyes widen at Ally\'s sudden remark \"You haven\'t driven in
years Al, i think you
need to re sit\"//

Orli: Woah. Fasten your seatbelts, we\'re in for more sudden and
inexplicable changes of tense!

/\"I can remember most things\" Ally grinned then shrugged \"i can\'t be
bothered to drive
actually\"//

Lij: *as Shalini* Well why bring it up? You stupid fucking cow!
Right! THAT\'S IT! GET!!! !!! YOU CAN FUCKING WALK!!

Orli: *looks sidelong at Lij. Thinks he\'s had too much sugar. Or
not enough.*

//Shalini have a short laugh \"I thought so\"//

Jason: Ally have a long laugh. It\'s all good.

//The car turned into the small drive way and the girls hopped out,//

Orli: They\'ll never fucking learn, will they??

Lij: The car turned into the small drive way, then into a rabbit,
then into a... Bunch Of Flowers! *nods to Mr Izzard*

//collecting bags and
bags of shopping contain food that\'ll last only a week.//

Jason: Maybe they should\'ve got more bags and bags?

Orli: Or just eat less.

//They shoved it on the wooden
floor in the kitchen \"All eleven bags of junk\"//

Lij: *as Shalini* What did we buy all this shit for?

Orli: They should buy food, not junk.

Jason: *as Shalini* ~rummages through the bags of junk~ Ooh, a rusty
screw! *eats it* Well, at least that\'s one screw I\'ll be getting...

//Ally shook her head as she pulled out her
last packet of Mayfair\'s and opened them up \"Shit\" she cursed as she
noticed there was
only one left and you couldn\'t get them any were else.//

Lij: Sure you can! Go back to London!

//She shoved her `life saver\'//

Lij: Light saber? *squints*

Orli: *Life Saver*

Jason: Is that what she\'s calling them this time?

//in her
mouth and lit it, savouring the taste like she all ways did.//

Orli:... Cancer Stick. Life saver. Isn\'t that going to send mixed
messages to the kidlets?

//\"There\" Shalini panted as she placed the last bag on the floor and
looked at Ally.//

Lij: I thought they got them all in already?

//\"You got to stop smoking\" she shook her head.//

Jason: Yeah, girlfriend. You got to. It not good.

//There was a sudden knock on the door. \"I wonder who that could be\"
Ally frowned as
she flick ask into the near by ash tray.//

Lij: That makes no fucking sense.

Orli: I WONDER who that could be. Eh, Lij? Are you wondering?
*sniggers*

Lij: Shut the fuck up.

//Shalini gave a shrug \"Don\'t know, but I\'ll get it\" she offered.//

Jason: Ally screamed \"No you don\'t you fucking bitch! This is my
fic, *I\'m* falling in love with him, you can\'t have him so fuck
you!\" *Fighting ensues*

//Ally nodded as she placed her fag in her gob and bent down towards
one of the plastic
bags and began to un load.//

Orli: Fag. Gob. All very British. Yes. Well done. Gold fucking star.

Lij: Unload. Reload. Aim. Fire!

//Shalini smiled to herself, it was probably neighbours, or maybe
the real estate people
just come to check up on things. She rubbed her hands together and
opened the
door....//

Jason: The real estate people who sold a house to Ally that she
already owned? *nods to the GSC gals*

Lij: Why does she need to rub her hands together to open the door?

Orli: *rubs hands together* Ah. Because she\'s evil. And she knows
what\'s going to happen next.

Jason: You\'re going to get some, Lij! *laughing*

Lij: I... sure hope so, *Jason*.

Jason: *jumps Lij*




End. For now.