Love is Suffering

Oliver awoke the next morning (promptly at 7:00) to the sound of Sebastian packing.

            “Seb”, he said rubbing his eyes. “What’s going on?”

Sebastian continued to fill his suitcase, “Business trip. I was just notified”.

            “Oh, how long will you be gone?”

            “Only a few days”, Sebastian said, “No worries baby, I’ll be back before you know it”.

            Oliver smiled, “Want me to make you coffee?”

            “It’s fine”, he said zipping up his suitcase. “Call me if you need anything”.

            “Sure”. Oliver was surprised at Sebastian’s abruptness and a bit concerned.

            “Bye Ollie! Love you”, Sebastian called as he walked out the door.

            “Bye, love you too”, he called back. Oliver had half a mind to go back to sleep, but decided against it. After taking a shower and tiding up the home, Oliver realized he hadn’t been this free for months. It was a good feeling, but he didn’t really know what to do with himself. He decided to start at the casino, but was still paranoid that Sebastian’s grasp was somehow on him.

            He started walking towards the bar when he realized Silvia was there. He began to turn away, hoping she wouldn’t see him.

            “Oliver!” she said, “What are you doing here?”

He paused and turned back around, trying to act casually.

            “Nothing” he said looking around, “just walking”.

            “Oh, so you’re not going to tell me about how you’re shaking up with Sebastian now?”

Oliver practically fell over in surprise, “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you with him, I know you two are living together”, she said dryly.

            “Fuck”, he said under is breath. “I can explain”.

            “Explain what? I already know what’s happening”.

            “It’s not what you think”, Oliver protested.

            “Really? You think you’re the first one he’s done this to? Oliver, I’ve seen boys come and go from the club and most of them end up in Sebastian’s bedroom. So don’t for one second think you’re special”.

Oliver’s mouth was practically hanging on the floor. He wanted to defend Sebastian, but there was a center of truth around Silvia’s harsh words. “Silvia, I owe him a lot. Plus, our relationship is different. We love each other”.

            “Love?” she scoffed. “Yeah, alright. Good luck with that”.

Oliver stormed out of the club angrier than he’d ever been before. He was the first one to admit Sebastian wasn’t perfect, but he did love him right? Although he hated Silvia for what she said, her words couldn’t escape his memory.

            Oliver bee-lined down the block, passing expensive stores and ritzy bars. He continued to walk until he was out of the wealthy metropolitan area and back to his own neighborhood. It was far from nice, with jam- packed apartments and smoky streets. A whirlwind of emotions came over him, reminders of his old life hung like dirty laundry in front of him. The sounds and smells of the area brought back memories of his parents, who were the reason he’d got in this mess in the first place.

            “Lost are we?” a voice called from behind him.

Oliver spun around to see a young man with deep brown eyes and blonde hair leaning against a wall.

            “N- no”, Oliver stammered. “I’m fine”.

The man raised a cynical eyebrow at him and smiled. Oliver then remembered he was wearing a suit from Sebastian, making him seem quite out of place in this neighborhood.

            “I’m from here”, he said trying to justify is presence.

            “Really?” the man said laughing.

            “Well, I mean, I was. I moved to the city recently”.

            “Yeah I thought so”, the man stepped closer to Oliver. “I’m Phillip by the way”.

            “Oliver”, he said shaking his hand.

            “Well Oliver, where are you headed?” Philip asked.

             “Nowhere I guess. I was just taking a walk”.

            “What a coincidence!” Philip said standing back, “so was I!”

Philip was cute and very non-threatening, something Oliver found extremely refreshing. “Care to join me?”

Phillip smiled at the invitation, “Sure!”

            They ended up back in the city, although, Oliver would have preferred to keep away. There was a small bar tucked away a few blocks from the casino. It was different than most of the bars near by- it lacked the tacky modernism and flashiness. Oliver led Philip there, hoping it was be a good place to talk. A new companion sparked something inside Oliver that had gone missing when he started cohabitating with Sebastian. The burden of his debt and all of Sebastian’s rules were lifted as he continued to talk with Philip. The bar was warm and rustic, with dim and welcoming lighting.

            “So, you live near by?” Phillip asked while issuing two beers over.

Oliver nodded, “Yeah I live in one of the apartments at the casino”.

            “Shit, that’s fancy”, he said sipping the tall glass, “If you don’t mind me asking, how did you end up affording that? I mean, you did say you were originally from my neighborhood”.

            “I just saved up I guess”, said Oliver. Lie #1. He wasn’t really in the mood to go in depth about his situation so lying seemed like the best option.

            “What do you do for work?” Phillip asked. Oliver couldn’t blame the guy for being curious but it was totally pushing him into a corner.

            “I, um, I’m in business”, he said nervously. Lie #2. Oliver wasn’t sure if debt sex and a hostile relationship counted as business, but then again, he didn't feel like explaining.

            “Oh”, Philip said taking another drink, “and you don’t live with anyone?”

Oliver paused then shook his head. Lie #3. This lie needed no explanation.

            They spent the rest of the night at the bar talking and drinking. Oliver continued to nurse his first beer as Philip went onto him forth and fifth. He learned that Philip was also in business, but he wouldn’t say what kind. He was an interesting man, and the more he talked, the more infatuated Oliver became.

            “You’re fantastic you know that?” said Philip with a tipsy twinkle in his voice.

Oliver smiled and looked down, “Well, you’re pretty fantastic yourself”.

            “Here”, Philip pulled out a small card from his pocket, “Give me a call if you ever want to do this again”.

            Oliver took the card, “Yeah, of course”.

“Want me to walk you home?

Oliver hesitated slightly then remembered Sebastian wouldn’t be there. “Sure”, he replied.

Although the apartment was only a few blocks away, it was a very kind gesture. As they approached the entrance, Oliver was almost sad to see his new companion go.

            “Thanks for tonight”, he said smiling at Philip.

            “Any time”, said Philip smiling back. There was a slight moment there, where although nothing was said, something was understood. Phillip leaned in and lightly kissed Oliver’s still lips.

            He pulled back slowly and with little hesitation, “Good night then”.

Oliver watched as the man turned his back and began to walk away, half in shook and half in intrigue.

            “Wait, he said stopping Philip. “Would you like to come inside for a bit?”

Philip paused and thought for a moment, “I’d love to”.

Oliver nervously led him inside, not knowing where this night may go, but excited to see what will happen.