Turn Around
folder
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
25
Views:
11,068
Reviews:
65
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
3
Category:
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
25
Views:
11,068
Reviews:
65
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
3
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Seven: I am a mess
Chapter seven
Day nine, Friday
I coughed and spluttered, pulling a towel around my waist and tying it tightly before nodding. “Y-yeah. Come in.”
When he opened the door I found that he was half dressed, work pants on but nothing else. I opened my mouth and closed it again as I tried not to stare at his chest and down the dark hairs to his stomach. People shouldn't show up half naked in front of me so early in the morning. It wasn't fair. Looking away, to the mirror, to find some deodorant, I waited for him to speak first.
“Joonas, I think I might be getting sick... And the building has a semi strict rule of not going in when you're ill so...” So I was going to have to make my way there and back by myself. Shit. Looking at him closer for a second, I noticed the bags under his eyes and wondered if he'd slept.
“Oh.” I tried to play it cool. “Well that's okay. I hope you feel better soon. Would you like me to get you anything?” I made a dash for it, trying to get around him but he put an arm out, touching the bare, damp skin of my stomach, stopping me in my tracks.
“I've arranged for a private car to come and pick you up and bring you back. The driver works for our company and is very safe. He will even wait for you inside until you finish work and walk you to the car so you don't have to do it alone. Is that okay? And no, I don't need anything. I never take anything for a cold.”
“But Sem, they make you feel better..” I shook my head and nodded, finally free to get my clothes. “It's okay. I'll be okay. Just go back to bed.”
“You forgettin' where you slept last night?” I had, yet again, taken up his bed since he seemed to always want to go to sleep at a stupid hour.
“Well then go to bed. Get some sleep. You should feel better soon.”
As I headed out of the apartment once dressed I heard him call, “Ring me if you need me, Joonas.” Need him? Yes, I probably would. Actually call him? Unlikely.
I had thought work would be awkward or at least different without the knowledge that Sem was around. It was terrible that I was beginning to rely on one person I barely knew so much. Afterall, I had promised myself I wouldn't make the same mistakes. I'd moved so far just to get away from those mistakes. But no one asked where he was when I staggered up the stairs and onto the accounting floor, feeling shaken from having to sit through someone elses driving. I thought I'd made it through without hiccup or interruption until I heard heavy breathing coming from directly behind me. I yanked myself, chair included, instinctively to one side, laying eyes on the brownie offering piss freak. He breathed down at me, smiling and my stomach churned. Some people got panic buttons; why didn't I?
“Um, eh...” He just stood there, smirking at me as I struggled. “Can I help you with something?”
“Mm, maybe..” I thought I'd hated it when he was stood over me but when he crouched down, knees apart, a hand going on the back of my chair, I wanted to sink into a hole. “Where's the boss today?”
“He's sick so he stayed home for the day. He'll probably be in Monday again like normal.” I tried to inch my chair away from him in a subtle fashion but I just ended up ramming it and myself into the edge of the desk.
“Feisty, ain't ya?” He looked me up and down as best he could given that I was sat. “I like that.”
I coughed, spluttered, tried to clear my throat from the lump I could feel. I wanted to make him go away. I wanted to run away.
“Don't be like that, buttercup. I can tell you've been around a fair bit. Hope you like 'em big and rough.”
“I-I.. I don't really..” What would happen if I screamed? Would he lie and say everything was innocent? I didn't really have people thinking I was sane.
“Your blabbering is cute. Let me drive you back home tonight.”
“I have a driver. I don't need your help.” I tried to turn back to my work, hoping that would give him the hint he was missing.
“If you give the impression that you have a thing with the boss people are going to let their imaginations run wild. People don't like it when someone else gets preferential treatment, Joonas. You should keep that in mind.”
“And letting you take me home is going to make potential friends gather with muffins?”
“Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a lollipop?”
I was about to turn and yell or throw a stapler at him but he was already walking away and around the corner. The experience left me shaken. I knew I would have been contacting Sem as soon as possible if he had been at work but he was probably sleeping off his cold. I couldn't interrupt. I would wait. The shaking in my hands ebbed away as I locked myself into work and I was even feeling brave enough to ask my driver to do a little detour on the way back from work. It meant I walked into Sem's apartment, bag in hand, feeling like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But he was nowhere to be seen. I checked in the main living area and bathroom, finally setting my sights on the bedroom door. I wanted so much to get out of work clothes but what if he was sleeping?
As I slunk up to the door, I could hear the television in there and decided to take my chances. I peered around the door, surprised to see him awake, lounging in bed, flicking through channels. When he noticed I was there he smiled and gestured for me to enter properly.
“You made it through in one piece then?” He sounded a bit nasal and raspy but he didn't look bad.
“Yeah. Things were... Okay. I got you some stuff on my way back that should make you feel better.”
“What happened that has you acting like a rabbit getting chased by a fox?”
But I was out of the room and rummaging around in the bag, pretending I was too busy to answer. “Here you go!” I rushed to open the packet and pop out two pills, handing them to him along with a glass that was on the bedside table.
He took them without complaint before eyeing me. “What happened?”
“Nothing really. The big guy just creeped me out. Would you like dinner? I could make soup for you.” I looked about the room, frantic, trying to find something that needed clearing up or sorting out.
“Joonas.” His voice as soft as the hand that touched my own, he looked up at me from the bed. “Get into bed and take a minute to calm down before you pass out.”
I shook my head, frowning. “I'm not the sick one. I have no reason to be in bed right now.” My aching back said otherwise; I needed to ask for a new chair at work. “I'll go make you food.” Shrugging him off my skin I headed to the kitchen and set about prattling.
I knew how to make a speedy vegetable soup and actually spent most of my time looking for a suitable bowl and buttering bread. When I walked back into the bedroom with the two bowls in my hands it looked like Sem was about to try getting up.
“Food is served so set your ass back down.” He was quick to do as he was told and I finally gave him what he asked for. We sat there, propped up by every pillow in the room, under the bedding with bowls in our laps, dunking buttery bread as Sem flicked through a couple of channels, finally settling on some fairly recent film. Neither of us spoke until long after we had eaten and I was beginning to feel sweaty from being in clothes and under blankets.
“Maybe I should have let you buy those stupid chocolates. I feel like dessert...” He shuffled somewhat, sinking deeper.
“You want cookies? I saw there were some.” I got up, gathering the dishes, earning a snort before Sem nodded.
“You ready to talk about it or ask for relief from the day yet?” Sem spoke without looking at me. I was laid on the other side of the bed, now minus my socks, snuggled into bedding that was beginning to smell familiar.
“There's nothing to talk about. And you're sick. I'm pretty sure you don't want to be sniffling in my face.” The film was dull and I was only half concentrating on it. My mind had wandered to the recent past, in the supermarket. I replayed the kiss over and over, wondering if it would have a similar effect.
“I am not sniffling at all. I don't feel so bad this evening, actually. Felt shitty this morning but a day in bed is working wonders.”
“If you feel like I require your services, why don't you just give them to me?”
“Is that what the other guy used to do?” He was sitting up and staring at me as if I was an alien. What had I said wrong?
“... Yeah? How did he once word it? … 'Some people don't know when to ask for help'. It's true, I suppose. That, and I don't want to.” I tried to concentrate on the film. Sitting in bed, arguing about who was going to kiss who was painfully awkward.
“Okay. You are an adult. You will learn to ask for what you want or need. Did your parents treat you like a prince or something?”
“Mhm, yeah, sure. Of course they did. Shut up, I'm trying to watch the piece of crap you put on.” I folded my arms, feeling my cheeks redden in embarrassment. I had been spoilt, wrapped in cotton wool as a child and well into my teenage years. Now I was going to have to pay for that? For their mistakes? I'd show him! I didn't need him. I didn't even want him or what he had to damn well offer. He could shove it up his ass.
“Going to be stubborn about it? I really do think the first aid guy at work was right about padding walls. If you push yourself into another 'episode',” His tone was harsh but the way he said episode was brutal and I recoiled even though we weren't touching. “Then I will call for an ambulance.”
“You're lying.” I was getting out of his stupid bed, yanking on my socks.
“You want to risk that? Do you know what they'd do to you if I called and they saw you at your worst?”
I had to laugh at that. “You don't even know me and you think you've seen the worst?”
“You want me to allow them to come in here and pick you up against your will? You want me to let them take you to the hospital? You want me to let them sedate you and have you sit in a room with some psychiatrists, making you talk about what happens in that head of yours? You know they can force you to take medication if they see you are a danger to yourself, others, or are unable to make a stable decision by yourself? I bet you know. I bet you know everything they can do to you which is why you stay away from them like the plague.”
I probably knew more about it than he did. He didn't know what he was saying or the damage it would do but I still hated him for it. As I tried to put my shoes on my arms shook and I fumbled with the bow multiple times.
“You've run away from everything in your life, haven't you Joonas?” He was out of bed, stood in the doorway watching me. “It's why you're here. What was so bad back home that it made you move so far away?”
My fears were crossing over. I was scared of going out alone to the point of never wishing to do it but what he was saying – all the memories he was dragging up – they were far worse. I went out into the hall, stomach flipping at the sight of the windows. And he was following me.
“No one has made you stand up and face shit, have they? Things change, Joonas!”
I just kept going. It was all I knew. We walked through the city as it grew darker, rush hour traffic racing forward at every green light. I became reckless, rushing out when I saw a gap. There was a yellow flash to my left, a faint screech of tires, yelling, car horns and I was through, dragging myself into a quieter, greener area.
“You could have just killed yourself you fucking idiot!” I hadn't managed to lose him and as I turned to look at him, he was on top of me. I reacted too slow and my back hit something hard as he held me in place. “First I thought your brain was just fucked up, but now I'm pretty certain that your skull is empty.”
It was the second time I had punched him and this time it was much cleaner, harder. It sent him staggering back for a moment, giving my body ample time to do circles and give up. Sinking down, straight onto my ass on the damp gravel, I struggled to bottle up all the emotional pain he had just caused.
“Joonas?” His voice was calmer through his rapid breathing but I couldn't bring myself to look up at him.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay?! I didn't mean to. You shouldn't push people like that!” Shaking from head to toe, especially as a coldness creeped up my thighs and behind, I heard shuffling and then there were two hands on my cheeks, Sem's face right in front of my own.
“Can we just take a moment to calm the crap down?” His knees were in the leaves at my feet and I held very still as he pressed his forehead to my own. I dared to take a look at him and found that his eyes were closed, frowning.
“Your hands are cold... You should still be in bed.” How much of a shit person was I?
“I would be in bed if you hadn't gone bonkers... But that's really my own fault, isn't it.” He sat back on his heels and opened his eyes to watch me. “I'm sorry for what I said. I don't get it. I understand that now but I would like to and I don't know where to start because you shut down so damn much.” Standing himself up, he held a hand out. “Can we just go back? And perhaps go at a slower pace?”
“Snails pace sounds good to me.” I nodded, attempting a small smile, taking the hand and getting to my feet. Without much thought I touched his cheek, red where I'd hit it, but he turned away from me and tugged me along gently. Just before we reached the edge of the park and the buzz of traffic I stopped, making him turn to look at me confused.
“What is it?”
“Kiss me.” I knew he was cold and tired and likely to get a worse cold if he continued to stay out. I also knew that I had a wet behind and was risking catching a cold also, but I wanted to at least show I could ask for what I wanted, even if I couldn't yet just go ahead and take it.
He kissed me without pause to process what I had said, taking a moment to nibble at my bottom lip. It was soft and sweet and far too short. When he pulled away and instantly began walking again I struggled to get my feet to move and my legs to work. What I didn't realise was that he had a plan.
The walk back to his place was slow and the trek up all those stairs made me realise how much my body ached but the moment we were in the apartment I was being directed straight into his bedroom. Before I could ask what the hell was going on he was yanking my soggy pants down. “What the fuck?”
“They're wet and you are not getting into my bed when you are wet.” He proceeded to drag my shirt off and then silently point to the bed. I wasn't going to suggest the sofa after I'd just punched him in the face and so I shuffled under the sheets. He joined me, keeping to his own side, flicking the television back on. “Go to sleep.” The bed moved and he had a hand on me, turning me onto my side so that I was facing him. A shuffle from him and my head was touching his shoulder.
“Th-the sofa.... Is really okay. I don't mind..”
“My home, my rules. Sleep.”
How could he call me a weirdo when he had just forcibly undressed me and situated me in his arms? But I couldn't complain; even when sick he smelt delightful. ~~~ Author notes: Thanks, as always, to my beta, MissusAnn (fp). Lisa: Naw, I wonder why you got the idea Sem is enjoying himself so much ;) Thanks for the review! Thank you for reading. Please take a moment to vote/review.