marked

VII: the universe

Tuesday morning began with the sound of Melissa groaning aloud as the alarm clock went off, in the middle of some annoying popular song.

“Ahhhh!” she exclaimed, then followed the sound of her hitting the snooze button violently.  The music ceased.  Julie sighed and curled up in a ball underneath her blanket and comforter on the fold-out couch.  This morning found her suffering from a particularly strong bout of nostalgia for waking up in Kim's bed.  Unless he purposely woke her up in the morning, she normally rose either to the sound of the alarm on her watch, or ambient sounds he made while puttering around his apartment.  There was something reassuring about finding herself in his blue room – the first thing she generally saw upon rising was the painting which hung on the opposite wall.  It too was a mélange of blue, almost like an underwater abstract, though Kim had told her Corey's intent was to “paint the center of calm.”  Sheets of navy and marine faded to a circular vortex of sea green, streaked through with gray.  The sensation of absorbing the attendant aesthetic experience reminded Julie of watching water swirl down the drain, comforting in its' finality.

Melissa finally emerged from the bedroom, wearing pink plaid pajamas and tousled hair.  She yawned and stretched, looking at the lump beneath the covers.

“Hey, what are you still doing here?”

“I’m off today and tomorrow.  Since you guys will be gone this weekend I figured I might as well work.  It’s better than spending the entire time depressed.”  At this last statement Julie peered out from underneath the covers.

“So you’re just gonna mope around for two days in front of me?”

“Leo’s gonna have a party tomorrow, I won’t mope there.”

Melissa went into the kitchen to make coffee.  “You might as well tell him to call it off, since you lost Mark, I mean.”

“No, I kinda want to see what happens.”

“Okay, we aren’t some kind of social experiment for you,” Melissa said, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.  “What’s gonna happen is that Kim will probably kick Mark’s ass and Teva will try to kill him, again, and –“

“What do you mean ‘again?’”

Melissa ran her hands through her hair and sighed.  “Dude, it’s too early in the morning for that story.  I’ll tell you tonight after I’m drunk, or something.  But you know, this isn’t The Freak Show, it’s our lives.  You do seem to have the ability to make Kim even more perverse than he is normally, but that doesn’t mean you should.”  She went into the kitchen and Julie could hear her industry: water pouring into a carafe, and then the coffeemaker, the refrigerator door opened as she retrieved the coffee, a cabinet door to fetch the filters, and so on.  Pondering her response she felt might never get up again.

“Half the time I don’t even know that I’m doing it.  I think I’m just reacting in the way I normally would when someone reveals himself as a two-faced bastard.”

Melissa joined Julie on the couch under the covers.  “Kim is like a big brother to me.  That's why it's been so hard for me to be in the middle of all this,” she confessed, putting her head on Julie's shoulder.

“I'm sorry, Mellie, I guess I screwed everything up.”

“No, it’s not your fault.  I should have known better than to stand in the way of something he wanted.”

“You know, all this time you never told me about how you met.”

“I haven’t told anybody.  All the other stories are more interesting.”  She followed this with a dry chuckle.

Julie put her arms around Melissa and pulled her into a more reclining position on the couch.  “So tell me now, please?”

Melissa sighed, and closed her eyes.  “It’s gonna make me sound like such a fucking sap.  You know we’re supposed to be tough in this business, I’ve had to build a shell around me, like an insect.”

“A scarab,” Julie alliterated, pointing to a tattoo on Melissa’s right hand.

“Yeah, he made it real shiny, didn’t he?  So after we graduated you know I came here with Helen.  And we found a place to rent in the Haight for pretty cheap.  The Ladies’ Lair was the only place that was willing to pay me as an apprentice, so I wouldn’t have to work two or three jobs just to learn how to tattoo.  I know you haven’t met Lily, but she’s kinda like Kim: she’s a hardass, but she’s also a total lech.  Every woman who came through that door, she was all with the hard sell.  Like sometimes how clerks come on to you in stores, you know, just to get you to buy.”

“Carnys when they take your money.”

“Yeah, except Lily wasn’t conning anyone, she just saw everyone as a potential fucktoy.  She came on to me a few times, trying to break the rule.”

“Don’t fuck with the grom,” Julie said.

“Yeah. . .but I had Helen, you know.  Well, until she dumped me for some computer nerd girl from Sunnyvale.  But Lily, she told me she would hire me and give me piece work to do, she didn’t want me to bail and go home.  So I’m thankful for that.  That same week, when I was both miserable and happy that things were turning around, Kim comes in to have her work on him.  I think he liked the fact that I had no idea who he was.”

Julie chuckled at the image in her mind of Melissa giving Kim one of her patented confused looks, which she was known to employ even when she wasn’t.

“So Lily comes running out, makes a fuss over him, gives me a dirty look, and they go in her studio.  Then she comes out a few minutes later and says, ‘Kim wants you to do the outline,’ and I figure okay, no big deal, but then she says, ‘He’s my old boss, so don’t fuck it up.’”

“No pressure,” Julie quipped, laughing.

“Yeah right!  I go in her space and he’s lying there on her table, prepped, but he’s got a book in his hands.  He holds up a picture and asks, ‘Can you draw this freehand?’  I was shocked but I figured maybe it was some kind of test Lily had thought up so I acted like I did that kind of thing all the time and said, ‘Yeah, no problem.’  He gave me one of those smiles, you know, like when he’s teasing someone and he said, ‘Okay girl, let’s see what you can do.’  And you know, I’m not into him that way but for a minute I could understand why people just gravitate towards him.  So if I sound sometimes like I’m pissed at you over this whole thing, I’m really not.  You never even had a chance.”

Julie was silent for a moment, digesting the anecdote.  Then she asked, “Which one did you outline?”

“The one on his left inner thigh, the mushroom.”

“Then why did you ask me -”

“Dude, he wasn't naked when I worked on him.  Maybe he got naked for Lily, but not for me.  Heh, he was the first guy I'd ever seen wearing black underwear, come to think of it.”

“Hey, isn't that -”

“A mushroom?  Yeah, sort of.  It's a psilocybe cubensis.”

“It's rather phallic,” she observed, running her finger over the design.

“That's the whole idea.  It's supposed to be a mirror image.”

“I wouldn't say your cock looks like a mushroom.”

“No, but a mushroom on a guy makes sense, it mirrors an archetype.  Just like a flower on a woman makes sense, you see?”

“I suppose.”

“You don’t think the vulva looks like a flower?” he asked, rising from the bed and retrieving the hand mirror from the top of the dresser.

“It’s not as pretty as a flower, no.”

“Oh let’s see,” he said, sitting down beside her on the bed.  “Spread your legs.”

She complied and he reclined facing her, holding the mirror nearly flush to her genitalia.  With his other hand he stretched the pudenda until one could see the slit entirely reflected.  Then his pinkie bent back and teased at the folds.  She quivered and parted reflexively.

“See, there are pink petals, and a dark center.  It opens, blooms in the heat.”  A finger stroked the outer labia and she looked away, squirming.

“No look, look, so you can see what I mean,” he exclaimed, though his voice was quiet and husky.

“I believe you.”

“Certain shapes, you see, are repeated everywhere in existence.  From the stars to the sand.  Certain actions too.”  With that a finger slid inside, gently.  She pulled at him, to bring his head to hers for a kiss, but he held back.

“No, let me watch what happens,” he whispered.  And he did watch her squirm and clench and finally cry out, her face flushed and grimacing, then relaxed with bliss.  Her juices made the way slippery and harder to stay inside to try again.  He removed his finger and brushed it against her lips.

“Nectar,” he said, “for some eager hummingbird to find.”

“Your cock doesn’t look like one of those either.”

“It doesn’t matter now anyway.”  He changed his position and kneeled between her gaping thighs.  “We won’t be watching it.”

“No?” she inquired, looking over at the mirror on the wall beside the bed.

“No.”  He held open her labia with his fingers and cautiously inserted himself, easing past the initial resistance to his glans.  “You will be too busy being pounded into a mass of orgasmic delight to be watching anything.”

“I bet you give away the endings to movies too, don’t you?” she teased, and then he shushed her by swallowing her tongue with his mouth.

“And his skin, man, it’s so soft!  Well you know that,” she said, rolling her eyes in Julie’s direction, “but it takes ink so easily, I didn’t even have to go over any of it twice.  He didn’t flinch, he just laid there and watched me.  His breathing didn’t even change.  I don’t like to talk while I’m working, and he respected that by not making any small talk.  When I was done, and I washed it off, he said, ‘I want you to come work for me.’”

“What did you say?”

“Well, I said stuff like I already had a job, and I wasn’t ready to start inking full-time anyway, I still had stuff to learn, and he said he knew all of that but he still wanted me in his shop.  I was flustered, I told him I had to think about it.  So then Lily came back in and did the shading.  After he left, she got out a scrapbook and said, ‘this is the guy you just worked on.’  And when I read all the articles and stuff I was like holy crap!  But then I realized what he had offered me.  Everyone whom he’s mentored has been successful in their own right, he’s not selfish in that way.  But he is hard on people.  It’s just a matter of whether you can deal with it or not, I guess.”

“Are you trying to tell me that’s what this is all about too?”

“Maybe.  Maybe if you think of it in terms of a test, then it can help you get past what happened.”

“But I’m not an employee!”

“No Jules, it’s not like that.  I think it’s just that anyone he lets in his life, it’s like they have to go on a journey.  See, he can get anyone to pay attention to him, he’s got the gift.  That’s why he’s so good at what he does.  There’s a thousand tattoo artists out there who are probably just as good or better when it comes to ink.  What makes him a legend –“

“Rock star,” Julie retorted.

“Okay, a rock star, is needing what he’s got.  He’s the ultimate salesman for our lifestyle, he manages to convince people that they absolutely have to have a tattoo, that they’re lacking in some way if they don’t, just because he makes it seem that way, not because he says that specifically.  But there isn’t anyone who can sell him anything.”

“And so I don’t understand why he seems to think he wants me in particular.”

“Because you resisted him.  And then he broke that resistance.  But even then, you still acted like you weren’t totally convinced.  I bet part of his brain is thinking fine, if she doesn’t want me then I’ll find the next girl who does and another part thinks what’s wrong with me?”

“Jesus Christ, I’m too old to be playing all these games!”

Melissa snickered.  “Heh, well you picked the wrong guy to swear off that pursuit with.  Everything’s a game to Kim.  And he’s pretty sure he can always win.”

“I was afraid of that,” Julie said, sitting up to dislodge her friend, then pulling the covers over her head.

Brooding followed Melissa’s departure.  To the tune of various songs. . .

When you wanted blood I cut my veins

and when you wanted love I cut myself again.

 

Sometimes I’m lower than the company I keep.

 

Everywhere I look, you're all I see.

 

She says I can't believe him

if I gave him enough rope he'd hang me.

But when she turns to him

there's no place she'd rather be.

She went to take a shower, spending a good five minutes standing under the hot water, crying.  She had always found crying in the shower to be therapeutic, as both catharsis and cleanliness were achieved.  Emerging from the stall after undergoing both processes, she wiped the steam from the mirror with a washcloth.

“I am soooo drunk,” she remarked, looking at herself in the bathroom mirror.

“You’re still walking and talking, aren’t you?” Kim asked, lying on the bed in their hotel room.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then you’re not that drunk.”

“I’m more drunk than I’ve ever been in my life.  Things are spinning.”

“Lightweight,” he retorted, snickering.

“I’ve decided I’m not going to try to keep up anymore,” Julie said, weaving as she came over to the bed.

“No, it’s best you don’t,” Kim said, holding out his arms as she lay down next to him.  “Like the song says, ‘You don’t want to know where I’ve been.’”

“No, it’s ‘you don’t want to know what I’ve lived.’”

“Is that how it goes?  I have a ton of mix CDs with that song.”

“Made by girls who thought you were like the guy in the lyrics?”

“Is that what they were trying to tell me?  And here I thought it was just really popular, or something.”

“Who are you, anyway?” she asked her reflection.  Her eyes strayed as they always did to the carnation on her breast.  It had taken Kim a month to shade it because he insisted on coloring each petal slightly different, so that it would have a more three-dimensional effect.  “I participated in my own objectification, and all I got was this lousy tattoo,” she snarked.  Her reflection cocked its' head.  “Well okay, maybe not 'lousy.'”  She was Art, true.  But was Art enough?  And from the living room a voice heavy with hurt, with sorrowful rage sang to her.

when he sucks you deep, yeah

sometimes you're nothing but meat

 

Melissa looked in through the doorway of Anne’s station.  “Hey girlie.”

“Hey esa.  Are you slow too?”  She was restocking her ink supplies, shaking each bottle to determine if it required replacement.

“Nothing booked this morning, but Jules is home, so I thought I’d give her some space.”

“Heh,” Anne said, the utterance a small bark, “you should have stayed there because you know what she’s gonna do.”

“No, I don’t think so.  She’s hurt, but making him hurt only makes it worse.  You saw how she tried to bring him down last night, and he just sat there and took it.”

“Yeah, I was kinda shocked by that.”

“Wanna come over tonight?”

“Ah, you don’t wanna be alone with her, do you?”

“It’s not that.  But you know, we can all just chill.  It’s gonna be the last time for a few days, anyway.  Insanity is just around the corner.”

“Eh, I’m gonna sit on my ass in my hotel room every night.  I don’t want any part of that circus.”

“Yeah?  I dunno.  I kinda wanna to go to some of the parties.  I still want to meet Michele Wortman, and she’s supposed to be there this year.”

“Oh that’s right!  I wonder if I can get her to give me a chest piece like hers.”

“Guy did that for her.”

“I know, but he did it in her style.  So why not go straight to the source, you know?”

“Yeah, that’s true.  Dude, I’m not even sure what to say to her, let alone ask her to work on me!”

“Who?” Regan asked, pushing aside the curtain in the doorway.

“Michele Wortman,” Melissa answered.

“Ah, very cool.  Guy did this little thing on me-“ he held up his wrist to display a biomechanical-style bracelet on the left arm, “- but Kim’s got the cool tat from him.”

“Yeah yeah, you show us that, like, every month!” Anne teased.

“Hey, Guy Aitchison is a visionary, you know.”

“Hush, before someone comes downstairs and hears you!”

“He’s working on Travis, don’t worry.  He’ll be out of our hair for at least two hours.”

The bell sounded on the door and the three artists looked out into the lobby. 

“Hey Julie,” Elaine greeted her.  “Mellie should be at her station.”

Julie waved to her friend who she could see through the doorway.  Melissa parted the beaded curtain and walked up to her, giving her a hug.

“You feel any better?” she asked.

“I guess.  You want to go to lunch?”

“Yeah, I guess I can go any time.  Anne’s on walk-ins and Mark isn’t supposed to be here until one o’clock.  Let me go get my purse.”

Julie sat down in the lobby and looked around.  Kim had decided to eschew traditional tattoo parlor decor and opt for photos of past work as opposed to flash displays.  However, the truly interesting feature of Inner Ink's interior design was the nearly life-size staff portrait which dominated the wall behind the counter and receptionist desk.  Charles Gatewood, the noted fetish photographer (and long-time friend of Leo’s) was the cameraman, and had assembled them on and around a group of marble benches in his studio.  The men wore black shirts and the women wore red, while Leo posed at the bottom of the grouping cross-legged on the floor in white gi-style pants and nothing else.  His iron-gray hair, loosed from its’ usual ponytail, was further highlighted by the riot of dermagraphics displayed on his arms, neck, and torso.  Julie knew he possessed a full bodysuit, and like Kim even the top of his feet were tattooed.  Kim was at the far left of the portrait, his face composed in a smug yet confident expression, which Julie knew most women, including herself, found very sexy.  He sat up straight, leaning forward slightly, his hands resting on his knees.  His hair was swept back, in order not to detract from the full palette of his sleeve work.  Next to Kim was Melissa in a babydoll-style shirt, her blue-black hair pulled into playful ponytails.  Her pose was demure, her hands clasped in her lap as she sat with her knees pointed towards Kim.  Regan and Teva were in the center of the group, he was wearing a sleeveless shirt identical to Kim’s, while she wore a tight camisole-style top.  Her hands were on her hips and she pouted for Gatewood’s lens.  Regan gave the usual intense stare to the camera, much as his idols did when posing for publicity photos.  His bright eyes seemed all the more startling as set off by his shaved pate.  Anne had a bench all to herself, as Dan stood behind her, his height making him a natural choice to anchor the other end of the lineup.  Julie thought she actually looked the most attractive of the women, with streaks of auburn in her naturally dark brown hair which brought out the amber of her eyes beautifully.  She had a full mouth, joyous smile, and sensual curves.  She wore a shirt similar to Melissa’s and her sleeve work was well-displayed as she posed with one knee flexed and her hands holding her leg in place.  Her black pants were three-quarter length, all the better to show off her Mendhi-style ankle bracelets, courtesy of Kim.  Dan wore a tank top and besides the full tribal sleeves one could partially view the interweaving lines of his chest piece.  Julie was astounded at the sheer volume of ink in his skin – his back was almost a solid field of black with a mask design in the center.  By contrast, his light brown hair curled around his neck and shoulders and was in danger of spoiling the stern intimidation he seemed to be striving for in his personage.  A placard to the left of the photo captioned the subjects:

The Artists of Inner Ink, by Charles Gatewood

(L to R:) Kim Rajani, Melissa George, Regan Dryden, Teva Morin, Anne Hernandez, Dan Shaw. 

(Bottom center:) Leo Zalucca, Owner.

Melissa returned and gave Julie a searching look.  She glanced over her shoulder and saw what Julie was staring at.

“He’s really photogenic, isn’t he?” she asked, almost rhetorically.

“Yes he is,” Elaine commented as she paged through a magazine, “the bastard.”

Melissa snapped her fingers in Julie’s face.  “Jules, hey!”

“What?” her friend replied.

“Come back from la-la land and let’s go eat.”

“What?  Yeah, okay.”  As they exited, Melissa looked back at Elaine and winked.  Elaine rolled her eyes to acknowledge the unspoken sentiment yeah she’s still got it bad.

Later that day, Leo answered his doorbell to find Julie on his stoop.  Her expression was a mixture of sadness and exasperation.

“Why is it every time I open my door lately I find a depressed person standing on my porch?” he asked, but didn’t necessarily expect an answer.

“You’re going to take his side again, aren’t you?”

“I already told you where my loyalties lie.  If you don’t want my advice then don’t seek it.”

“I guess I’m thinking maybe I can understand him better if I talk to you.”

Her comment caused Leo to chuckle ruefully.  “Well, we’ll just pretend that’s possible.  Come in and I’ll make some chai.”

She followed him inside and they passed through into the kitchen.  He pointed to a room on the left and said, “go sit down in there and I’ll be in as soon as I heat this up.”  He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of ready-made chai mix, then looked into a nearby cupboard and rummaged around until he found a pair of mugs.

Julie went into the room indicated and was shocked to see a formal dining room, complete with a table which sat ten, a china closet and sideboard, all in burnished maplewood.  Glancing at the walls, she saw they had been painted in flowering rose vines, not only around the circumference of the room, but also moving down each wall.  The three windows each had a large rose framed with leaves at the top.  Leo did not have any window coverings so as not to detract from the design.  Julie could tell Kim had painted not only the vines but also the larger flowers, as his flowers tended to favor a certain trompe d’oeil rather than the softer-edged romanticism which Melissa and Anne preferred when they created such things.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Leo asked, bearing two steaming cups.  He handed one to Julie and they sat down at the table.

“Did he do this in one night too?” she asked, taking a tentative sip.

“Oh no, this was his wedding present to Gail and I.  She had always wanted a really nice dining room, so I had all the furniture made, and Kim painted the room.  Not just the design, but the actual walls, with the expensive lacquer stuff.  See how shiny it is?”  He gestured towards the ceiling, and Julie could see that the cream colored paint he had used was glistening in the early afternoon light.

“So if she’s the one who wanted a formal dining room, how did you end up with it?”

“We did the whole ‘no-fault’ thing when she split.  She moved out on me while I was on tour one month.”

“Kim said she couldn’t handle you being gone all the time.”

“Yeah, that was probably the biggest problem.  But the one related to that was the fact that because I wasn’t around a whole lot, there was no one to pay attention to her.  Then she met someone else.”

“I thought you said she didn’t cheat on you.”

“No Jules, what I said was that if she did, I don’t want to know.”  He paused, taking a drink and aligning the placemat, also in a rose design.  “That’s why I just let her go, because I knew I couldn’t compete with anyone who was willing to make her the center of their world.”

“Why did you get married?”

“For love, of course.  That’s why we do most things, isn’t it?”

She gave him a smile that seemed at least half-frown.  “But when each person has a different definition of love, it makes things rather difficult.”

“Oh I agree.”  He sat back in his chair and stared at the window.  Beyond the outer wall of the house, a row of rosebushes bloomed against his redwood fence.  Julie also took in the view and chuckled.

“You guys really went overboard with the whole rose thing.”

Leo laughed in response.  “Yeah, but it was worth it.  She was so happy when she saw it.  The room, and the view.”

Julie drained her cup and set it down upon the placemat.  “So what is it you have to say in Kim’s defense?”

Leo reached out and squeezed the hand that toyed with the lace around the edges of the mat.  “You know, I think you’re the best thing to happen to him since me.  And I don’t say that to congratulate myself, but because when I met him, he was pretty messed up.  When I said last night that self-loathing was his biggest vice, I wasn’t kidding.”

“So why is it he always seems so arrogant?”

“Arrogance can hide a multitude of sins. . .or flaws.”

“So it’s just a façade?”

“Sort of.  Kim does possess the kind of ambition that will make anyone famous.  He wouldn’t stop until everyone had taken notice of him.  But this is a guy who grew up feeling completely alienated from his surroundings.  I’ve met his parents – I had to do it behind his back because he hasn’t spoken to them in over ten years – and even with the success he’s achieved, they’re still aghast at his choice of lifestyle and occupation.  They never understood him, never really wanted to, I think.”

“He used to tell me I was ‘lucky,’ because I had a fairly normal childhood.”

“Yeah well, he did too, sort of.  But when he was a teenager, the time when kids need support the most, there wasn’t any.  His parents were appalled at his lack of drive when it came to his schoolwork, even though he’s incredibly smart, and horrified that all he wanted to do was sit around and paint himself.”

“Not to mention the whole ‘being a good desi’ thing.”

“Yeah.  He told me one time about going on a date in high school with a white girl, and as they were coming out of the movie theatre, his mother saw them on the street and snubbed him.”

“See, how come he never wanted to tell me any of this?”

“And appear less than a man?  Why would he want to do that?”

“Argh!  And you all wonder why we get so bitchy – it’s because your macho bullshit is driving us crazy!”

“Jules, you know Kim is antagonistic on purpose, but is it possible that he did tell you things, just maybe in a way you weren’t ready to hear?”

She pondered this for a moment, looking out the window.

“I guess when he got self-defeatist that’s what he was trying to say.  That things had been hard for him and he needed me to pull him out of the negativity once in a while.”

“And did you?”

“I saw everything as a test, and I didn’t understand why he just couldn’t accept the fact that I loved him.”

“See?  It all depends on whether you hear what he’s saying, or you hear what you want to hear.”

“But it’s not like I’m completely at fault here.”

“I would never think that, Julie,” Leo gently admonished her, “I know you were infinitely patient, and you also let him know how you were feeling.  I have a theory about why he did what he did.  But first, more chai.”

He removed their mugs and returned to the kitchen.  In his absence, Julie focused on the music she could hear from the living room.

I've given everything I need

I'd give you everything I own

I'd give in if it could at least be ours alone.

She put her head down on the table, suddenly, defeated.  Leo came back and gave her a curious look.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he asked, his voice sweet with sympathy.

“Everything is in conspiracy against me.  Even my own heart.”

“Mellie and Anne love to watch those shows where at least once a week they’re talking about ‘Why do women love men who are bad for them?’  And I’m guessing that’s how you see Kim, sometimes.  As someone who is bad for you.”

“I see him as ‘unsafe.’”

Leo snickered.  “It used to be easy enough to keep anyone at arm’s length until he actually met someone he wanted to be with.  But back to my original point.  Where was he when he nailed that little blonde?”

“Houston.”

“And where is Houston?”

“Texas.”  Julie frowned at him, seeking his explanation for the relevance of the conversational tangent.  Then it became clear, with a slight intake of breath.

“You see?  That whole experience was like one long, dark weekend of the soul.  Full of ghosts.  You know he thinks he should have been the one to take the bullet.  But Kim was always slightly more sensible than Corey.  Not by much, mind you, but enough.  Occasionally though, because now he’s being a hellion enough for the both of them, he’ll do things he shouldn’t.  Teva, for example.  His relationship with Teva is like a reenactment of his life with Corey, except that when Kim was the less dominant one he was never pathologically jealous of Corey.”

“Why didn’t he just say that?”

“Again, why would he show his weakness?  He knows that his inability to let go of the past is a problem, but as long as he can keep moving forward it doesn’t seem so much like he’s being haunted.  And when you’re on top you don’t want to let go, don’t want to look down, especially when you’ve seen someone else take the fall.”

“So where does this leave me?”  Julie ran her hands through her hair, pulling at the roots in frustration at the whole sordid mess.

Leo regarded her for a moment, placidly smiling.  It was at those times that she could see how handsome he was, but not in appearance.  Rather, he had such a comforting quality about him that she often wanted to hug him, to feel his warmth and sensitivity.  He was the safe harbor while Kim was the storm which raged in the sea outside.

“I’ve found that people often seek those who will bring them outside themselves.  To offer a new perspective.  You have that now, wouldn't you agree?”

She nodded.

“It may take a while before Kim sees the world from where you’re standing.  Or perhaps he does, but he’s reluctant to admit that things could be both different and better.  I would say you should be patient, knowing that you'd never agree with me when I say that sexual fidelity is an outmoded concept.”

“So maybe Teva is right and he, what, fell off the wagon?”

Leo pursed his lips, as if he wanted to avoid laughing at the metaphor.  “That could be.  You could always fight fire with fire.”

“I thought that’s what I was doing!”

“No Jules, not by taunting him with some other guy.  Rather, by ensuring that he remembers he is equally marked by you.  Tell him something like. . .even if Kim wanted to fuck some other woman in a moment of self-loathing weakness, he wouldn’t be able to get it up because it’s not you.  Be smug about it.  As equally smug as he is when he tells you that life would be boring without him.”

Julie laughed, shocked by the suggestion.  “That sounds suspiciously co-dependent,” she quipped.

“His motto is ‘whatever it takes,’ right?  Maybe that’s the real lesson he’s trying to teach you.”

Melissa returned to the apartment just after seven o’clock with Anne in tow.  They ate the leftovers from Empress of China which Melissa had smuggled out in her backpack when no one was looking.  She always fought with the guys over food from parties and staff dinners, because it was every tattoo artist’s wont to claim poverty.  She sometimes wished people would tip her in food, like medieval bartering.  Julie declined to eat and paged through a magazine.  Melissa wondered what she had done that afternoon, but knew she hadn’t been with Kim.  He had come downstairs around two o’clock as if he expected to find her.  Melissa felt some small victory when his subsequent expression edged into disappointment.  She had moved onto the couch with Anne and discussed watching a movie when Julie got up from her chair at the dining table and stood before them, awaiting their attention.

“Okay guys, I need your help.”

“With what?” Anne asked.

“I'm thinking. . .about forgiving him.”

“Oh here we go,” Melissa muttered, looking up at the ceiling.

“I mean, I woke up this morning and I realized that even though I've been incredibly pissed at him, I still love him.  After what happened -”

“She means with Mark.” Melissa said to Anne.

“- and the fact that he really wants me to come back, whatever that means, it all just reinforces the fact that he's changed me, the way I look at things, and I can't turn my back on that.”

“Okay, so. . .” Anne responded, giving Julie a searching look.

“I need to hear all the bad things.  I need full disclosure.”

The two women laughed.  “Dude, no way!” Anne exclaimed.  “If we told you all the shit that we know -”

“Like, all the things I've gone to great lengths not to tell.” Melissa broke in.

“Yeah, and you did a really good job with that, thanks.” Julie shot back.

Melissa's face assumed a pained and betrayed expression.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry.  I know you thought you were doing the right thing.  But this time I mean it, I want to know.”

“Well shit, dude, we need some weed and we need some tequila!” Anne proclaimed.

“I'll go make margaritas,” Julie offered.

“No man, I need tequila!”

“I'll bring you the bottle and a lemon when I'm done, just like I used to do with him.”

Melissa giggled.  “Do you remember that one time in Cabo, Anne, when that girl wanted Kim to do a body shot and handed him the bottle and then he just walked off with it?”

“Dude, I don't remember anything about that weekend.  My cousin brought a bottle of mescal to my hotel room and then I blacked out.  Was I even there at the bar?”

Julie went into the kitchen while Melissa and Anne continued talking.  Melissa rose from the couch and walked into her bedroom. 

“Speaking of the other, dude, check it out.”

She returned with her tip from Mark, a 10” waterpipe.

“Oooh, pretty!” Anne turned it around in her hands.  “Oh look, it's got butterflies on it!”

“Yeah, he showed me a really cool 16” one I'm going to give Leo for his birthday.  It's got two bubbles and this ocean design painted on it.”

“How much is that one?”

“Normally he sells it for $150, but he's letting me have it for $100.”

“Nice.  So does this one change colors?”

“He said the pipe does, but not the bowl, because it's Pyrex.”

“Well let's check it out!”

“Hey, wait for me!” Julie called out, before starting the blender.

“Well hurry up, dude!” Melissa called out, pulling out her stash from a ceramic box that she kept under the couch.

Julie emerged from the kitchen armed with various alcoholic beverages and a bowl of lemons.

“I know you're gonna say you can't handle a guy who sleeps around on you, but if you can't get over that, this is never gonna work,” Anne observed as Julie seated herself on the floor opposite the other two.

“It's not even the fact that he slept around on me that bugs me so much.  It's knowing that the next time I go to a convention or a party with him I'm going to run into at least five girls who will give me that look.  The look that says yeah, I've had him.  Have you ever dealt with that?  It's humiliating!”

Melissa laughed in response.  Anne pondered for a moment and said, “Not really.  Then again, I haven't told many people about losing my virginity to Kim.  When people found out I worked for him, they automatically assumed he'd fucked me.  But being in your position?  No.”

“And you,” Julie said, handing her the bottle of tequila and a shot glass, “can tell me that whole tale right now.”

“Okay, but just let me say that I was 17, alright?  Seventeen and stupid.”  Anne had cut up a lemon in four perfect sections.  She took a shot and sucked on a lemon wedge before continuing.  “I've known Leo all my life.  He and El Jefe go way back and when my mom split, I didn't want to leave my school, so I ended up living with my dad.  He used to let me help around his studio, but he was always saying that I was going to do something better and stay away from the life.  The first time I met Kim and Corey was when I was 12 or 13.  We were at Leo's for a barbeque and they were all hung over, being unsociable.  Plus, El Jefe always gave them shit because he didn't believe in the whole rock star trip.  You think Corey looked good in pictures, girl, he was the real deal in person.  Fuckin' gorgeous!”

Melissa smiled.  “I really wish I could meet him, someday.  But only Leo knows that.”

“So I went through this whole schoolgirl crush thing, collecting all the magazines they were in, studying their styles, and I found out I was pretty good at copying stuff.  I've never been all that creative, but I can copy stuff really well, and one of the places it comes in handy is tattooing.”

“You're plenty creative,” Melissa said, ruffling Anne's hair.  “The way you shade your flash, I'd never come up those kinds of schemes.  They're really cool!”

“Gracias chica,” Anne acknowledged, blushing slightly.  “Anyway, so I was 17 and I begged my dad to let me go to the convention here.  I told him I could make a lot of money as a runner, which I could use when I was in college.  Because it sounded sensible, El Jefe totally fell for it.”

The three laughed uproariously and clinked their glasses together.

“Originally,” Anne continued, “I was totally gunning for Corey, but I couldn't get anywhere near him, complete mob scene.  Kim noticed me hanging around and he was all, 'Anne?  You can't be Anne, you're a total babe!'”

“He did not say that!” Melissa exclaimed.

“Girl, you know he did!  Yeah, so I got all flustered and starry-eyed and we started talking.  I told him about wanting to be an artist and he was the first person who was totally encouraging.  Even Leo didn't really believe in me at first.”

“He probably thought El Jefe would kill him if he said you were any good.”

“No doubt.  So then, after talking for a while, watching him work on people, he asked me if I wanted some ink.  Now my mom and dad had forbidden me to get a tat till I turned 18, and my dad wanted to be the one to do it, of course.  But man, Kim just turned on the charm, you know, those big brown eyes and everything.”

“Yeah,” Julie sighed.  “I know.”

“So I snuck out of my mom’s apartment that night and went to the shop.  He gave me this–“

She paused in her narrative and stood up, unfastening her pants.  Pulling them down off her right buttock, she exposed a small black cat with green eyes, done in a minimalist retro style: oblong body and head, triangular ears and curving tale.

“I told him to do whatever design he wanted, but he asked stuff like did I have any pets.  I told him I had a black cat named Soot, so he said he would give me that.  And you know what?  It didn't even hurt.  I mean, yeah, the process hurt, but he just kept talking to me, and the sound of his voice, the way he touched me, it was like I couldn't even feel the pain.”

“Yeah,” Julie sighed again.

“Well he must be more gentle on girls he fucks because all my ink hurt like hell,” Melissa groused.

Anne pulled up her pants and sat back down.  “So afterwards he cleaned me up, bandaged it, and I'm sitting there in my panties, you know, and he looks me right in the eye and says, 'So did you like that?'  And his voice was all soft, the next thing I know, I just threw myself at him.  Pulled him down on the table on top of me and put my legs around him.  And he wasn't gonna say no to a nubile 17-year-old, you know?”

“So how was he?  For your first time, I mean,” Julie asked.

“Shit, that hurt worse than the damn tattoo!” Anne answered, then laughed.  She drank another shot of tequila and looked off towards the windows, her expression wistful.  “I was stupid, yeah, but even I knew it didn’t really mean anything to him, except that he told me if I wanted to be a tattoo artist, then that’s what I would be.  He gave me his blessing, in a way, I guess.  And then I spent a year after I graduated trying to find someone who would apprentice me, but of course no one would, because it was either that I was El Jefe’s daughter, or I was from Oakland, like that automatically made me a thug.  So then I moved back in with my mom and went to the shop one day and told Kim, ‘Dude, you’ve gotta hire me!’  And he said he would, because he wasn’t afraid of my dad and he didn’t give a fuck that I’d grown up in Oakland.  So I can tolerate his shit probably more than most people, because we’re connected, you know?”

“You keep saying your dad would kill him for working on your mom, but what about when he found out about your tattoo?” Melissa queried.

Anne began laughing.  “Oh dude, I never told you about that?”  Melissa shook her head.  “Okay, this is some crazy shit.  I had moved in with my mom, like I said, to go to school, and one morning it was really hot in her apartment.  I’m walking around in a cami and underwear, not even thinking about it, and she sees it and nearly has a heart attack.”

“So she knew it was Kim?”

“Yeah, but not because of the style.  It’s a cat, get it?”

“Huh?” Julie said, but Melissa immediately began laughing, shocked.

“Oh my God!   I can’t believe he did that!”

“Seriously, my mom is all, ‘you let Kim Rajani give you a tattoo, what else did he give you girl?!’”

“Wait, I don’t get it,” Julie said, “how did she know Kim did it because it’s a cat?”

“What else is a cat called?”

“What else. . .ooohh!”

“Exactly.  And in our world, you see, when someone gives you a pussy, it’s their way of saying yeah, I’ve had her.  He knew El Jefe would see it at some point.  I’m telling you, the man is crazy!”

“So what happened?”

“My mom is all freaking out, asking if he used a condom and all that shit, because by then I couldn’t deny that we’d had sex, I was all blushing and stuff.  But at first, man, I was like, ‘Mom, all he did was ask me if I had any pets!’  And she said, ‘Girl, you’ve got a lot to learn about the life.’”

“So why didn’t you get it removed?”

“Even though I knew my old man would be pissed you just don’t do that.  I mean, if you never get back with Kim, you won’t have all that –“ she gestured at Julie’s body “- taken off, will you?  He’s at that level where even a bad tat of his is better than a good tat by anyone else.”

“How did your dad find out?”

“My mom was so freaked she was ready to call him right then and there.  The weird thing is, I still can’t figure out to this day if it was really that she was angry at Kim for what he did, or jealous that it happened to me instead of her.”

“WHAT?!” Melissa and Julie exclaimed in unison.

“I know, isn’t that fucked up?  But see Jules, that’s what I’m talking about, he’s got this power over females.  Even if Kim did promise to behave, women would still be acting all crazy around him.  Anyway, I got her to promise not to tell, and everything was okay until I started working at Inner Ink.  Leo had managed to convince my dad that if I was gonna be in the life, it might as well be somewhere where my dad knew I would be okay, and Leo would watch out for me.  Then a few months later Leo throws a party for Juli Moon when she came to town and both Kim and my dad are there, trashed outta their minds and El Jefe says something insulting to him and all Kim says is, ‘Have you seen Anne’s tat?’  Well the next morning my mom wakes me up and says, ‘your dad knows.’  But I had to go to his studio so he could see for himself and I’m tellin’ ya, dude, he destroyed the place.  I’m surprised he didn’t disown me.”

Melissa whistled.  “That bad, eh?”

“Shit yeah, I mean, it was bad enough that it was my first, and not this one –“ Anne rolled up the left side of her shop shirt to expose the top part of her sleeve, a Virgin of Guadalupe, “- because my dad thought my first one should be something representing my purity.”

“Dude, all respect to El Jefe, but what planet is he living on?” Melissa asked, looking dumbfounded.

Anne chuckled, taking yet another shot.  “Girls, unless you’ve been raised in a Chicano household, you don’t know the meaning of repression.  It didn’t matter that we never went to church or any of that shit, you had to be a good girl, and if you were gonna be bad, you better pray to the Virgin that your pops never found out.”

“Yikes!” Julie said, by way of response.

“Yeah so he sees the pussy and that was it.  Shit is flying everywhere and I’m trying to run away, well, he grabs ahold of me, and you know how big my dad is –“ she nodded in Melissa’s direction, who nodded back, “- and my mom comes running in ‘cause she’d followed me out there, knowing the shit was gonna go down, and he knocks both of us into the wall and we run out.  She locked us in her car and we drove over to Leo’s.  My mom’s all ‘Tell Kim he needs to leave town.  Forever.’  So then Leo drives to Oakland and basically begs my dad not to kill him.  ‘Cause I’m serious dude, he was about ready to commit murder and not even care.  All those death threats they used to get, because they were taking business away from other guys, fucking their girlfriends, all that drama?  That didn’t mean shit, because when El Jefe has a grudge, that’s it.  He will hurt you and not even bother to threaten you first.”

”So did you think that maybe you were just a pawn to Kim?  A way for him to get back at your dad?”

“Oh totally.  But you know what?  I didn’t care and I still don’t.”

“You’re right, dude,” Melissa said, carefully preparing the bong as she sat cross-legged on the couch, “that is definitely some crazy shit.”

“What’s really crazy,” Julie said, sitting on the couch beside Melissa, “is that you don’t care that he played you.”

“Dude, yeah he played me for the tat.  But the sex?  That was me.”

“Was it?  Because it sounds like if he deliberately tattooed a cat on you it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“But it wasn’t like he seduced me into fucking him, just being inked by him.  Besides, either way, it just proves Kim is totally crazy.  He knew what would happen and he just didn’t care.  That’s how he is about everything.”

“No, he’s not a sociopath.  He does care about some things, some people.”

“What I mean,” Anne countered, handing Melissa a lighter, “is that when he takes a risk, he doesn’t care about the consequences.  It’s kind of like what he’s doing with you.  He’s taking a risk that he’ll get caught acting like he always does, but he’s also taking a risk that he will change somehow.”

“It hasn’t happened yet!”

“I think it has.  But it’s really subtle.  Jules, you don’t know him like we do, and I think he is changing.  It’s something that’s gonna take a while, though, maybe more time than you’re willing to wait.”

“C’mon now, you guys are supposed to be telling me the bad stuff!”

“And what, our telling you the man is insane isn’t bad enough?” Melissa asked.

“That’s the only thing that explains Teva, if you ask me.”  Anne held up the new bong by its’ marbled sides and examined the pipe before taking a toke.  “Hmm, yeah I guess it’s kinda turning green, isn’t it?”

Melissa took another turn then began to pass it Julie’s way.  “No,” she said, holding up her hand.

“What’s wrong?”

“I decided I’m too paranoid to get stoned right now.  I’m afraid I’m apt to do something stupid.”

“You mean like go over there and get into bed with him again?”

“Mellie, you swore –“

“Oh dude, we all knew about that,” Anne interjected, “we were listening in on Kim and Leo in the lounge a few days after your fight and Leo asked him, ‘Is she still pissed at you?’  Kim said, ‘Yeah, but I can’t seem to keep her out of my bed.’  And Leo’s like, ‘I thought you wanted her there!’”

“Well I was right about that, then.” Julie murmured.

“And Kim, in his typical smart-ass way, says, ‘You know it’s not always a good idea to fuck someone who’s angry with you.’”  Melissa and Anne laughed at that little homily, but Julie crossed her arms against her chest and recalled, ruefully, that the angry sex had been just as good as the happy sex.

“Now it’s time for the big guns,” she said, refilling her glass with the remainder of the liquid from the blender pitcher.  “Teva.”

“I thought what Teva told you herself was bad enough,” Melissa observed.

Anne held up a hand, then exhaled the remaining smoke from her lungs and said, “Are you sure, esa?  ‘Cause I know I got a few stories that are just insane.”

“Again with the crazy,” Julie snarked, doing an impression of Elaine.

“Well they’re both crazy on their own, but when you put those two together, you’re talking batshit crazy,” Melissa added, reclaiming the bong.  “You start,” she told Anne before putting the pipe to her lips.

“Teva has been working for Leo and Kim since she was 18.  She came up from somewhere down south, maybe Anaheim, I don’t remember.  But Leo told me at first she was like a total groupie.  Kim worked on her, and she paid him like they all paid him, but then she managed, somehow, to convince him to let her work on him.  And Leo says she’s always had ‘it,’ you know, whatever that special thing is that makes a Corey or a Kim, or any other well-known person in our world you can name.”

“So she was a grommet, then,” Julie said.

“Oh no, never.  Always the Diva.  I think there was something between the two of them, you know.”

Melissa choked, unwillingly, jets of smoke issuing from her mouth and nose.  “Don’t say that, dude!” she exclaimed.

Julie stood up, shocked.  “This is what you guys have been hiding from me all this time, isn’t it?  They were a couple!”

Anne looked at the floor, seemingly fascinated by the rug.  Melissa fiddled with the pipe, looking guilty.

“It’s complicated,” she finally said.

“That is the understatement of the fucking century,” Julie shot back, walking over to the windows.  She opened one slightly, appreciating the chilly Spring air that rushed in.

“Not like that, Jules,” Anne continued, after taking another hit.  “It’s not like they were romantically involved, but when Corey went away, Kim got it in his head that he needed another partner.  And Teva wanted to be like him so bad that she seemed the logical choice.  They started running together, got into all kinds of trouble.  The problem was…they just went too far.”

“And she got possessive, like she thought she was his girlfriend.  But it was never like that.” Melissa added.

“They like to fight, though.  Even when they got along they always fought.  Kim especially loves to make people crazy.  Well, you know that,” Anne looked directly at Julie, holding out her hands in a conversational gesture.  Julie nodded.  “But I’m talking knockdown dragout-type fights where shit would get broken, they’d be screaming at each other and you could hear it all the way down Union Street.  It was bad for business for a while.”

“People would call me up and say, ‘Can you come to my house and work on me?  I don’t want to walk in on one of their tantrums.’” Melissa noted.

“We had so many people quit it was ridiculous.  Finally Leo told Kim if he didn’t do something he was going to close the shop and Kim could go on tour the rest of his life, or do whatever.  But he tired of all the drama.”

“So why is she still here?”

“Think about it, dude,” Anne said, giving her a patient yet cynical look.  “Why are any of us here?”

“Because you’re all co-dependent, and so am I, apparently.”

Melissa let out with a guffaw.  “Well okay, but besides that.”

Julie made an exasperated face, walking over to the sofa again, her body clenched in a frustrated shrug.  “Well I dunno, because you think you can be famous like he is someday?”

Anne nodded.  “Trust me, if you can say you’ve worked for Kim Rajani there isn’t a shop that wouldn’t kill to have you.”

“Plus they know that if you survived that, you can handle anything.” Melissa said.

“Basically,” Anne continued, “the two of them came to an understanding.  I mean, they still fight, but it’s nothing like it used to be.  And Teva is getting famous.  She’s been in the mags, she always has an entourage, guys want their picture taken with her, all that bullshit.”

“And Kim loves the fact that every time she gets written up there’s always a line about her being his protégé.”

“And she was the one who was being possessive?”

“That’s why she flaunted their relationship to you, right?  Because she was trying to tell you that she’d already been there and she didn’t like you moving in on the territory,” Anne said.

The crew had gone out for dinner and drinks one night – business had been slow that day, so Kim relented and agreed to close early – and when everyone parted ways Julie had risen from the table, wincing.  Teva followed her to the bathroom and seated herself on the sink area counter while Julie urinated.

“Are you pissing blood?” she asked.

“What the hell kind of question is that?” Julie replied, angrily.

“Seriously babe, I know the long-term affects of fucking that dick.  It took a while before my pussy stopped hurting all the time.  I think he needs surgery.  It’s not natural to be that big on the top.”

Julie wiped herself gingerly and emerged from the stall, standing beside Teva to wash her hands.  “Sounds more like jealousy to me.  Like you wish you were still hurting.”

Teva laughed out loud, and it echoed against the tile in an ugly fashion.

“Honey, I can have it anytime I want.  Because I know what he likes.  Better than you do.  You think he likes having a sweet little virgin that he can ink and fuck and wait for him at home while he runs around letting the groupies blow him.  But he’ll get bored and come back to me and my friends.  We’ll do anything, you see.  Whatever it takes.”

The final phrase was delivered in a near-perfect imitation of Kim’s inflection.

“You know what, Teva?  I know that he’s a slut, I’m not blind or stupid.  But he’s not your slut.  Not anymore.”  Julie walked out of the bathroom and into the street, where she grabbed Kim’s arm as he lit a cigarette, waiting for her.

“Let’s go,” she said, her voice clipped by rage.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing.”  She was already walking up the street, committed to leaving whether he was ready or not.

“I think what really separated them, though, was the whole Chlamydia incident,” Melissa said, making her way into the kitchen.  “Jules, do we have any cookies left?”

“Yeah, there’s a whole batch in the freezer,” Julie answered.

Melissa returned with a plastic bag full of cookies and reclaimed her seat.  “So we never found out who gave it to her, but I swear, the girl was being so skanky, it could have been anyone.”

“You know what kills me?” Anne asked.  “She’s always the first to say that Kim is going to end up like Corey, but she’s the one who’s passing along all her venereal diseases like a frickin’ chain letter, man.”

This observation made Julie snicker aloud, she was beginning to think she was getting a contact high.  She grabbed a cookie out of the bag.

“So Regan tells me that he heard Kim groaning in the bathroom one day while he was taking a piss, and we were just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Teva had already told us –“ Melissa gestured between Anne and herself, “- that she found out she had it and was on antibiotics.”

“But she wasn’t going to tell Kim?”

Melissa chuckled.  “Naw dude, she was mad at him for various reasons –“

“Like always,” Anne cut in.

“- so she was gonna let him find out for himself.  A couple days later we’re all in the shop, and everything’s quiet, business as usual.  Kim must have gotten the call because all of a sudden we hear ‘TEVA!’ all the way from the third floor.”

“Oh my God!” Julie exclaimed, shocked laughter spilling forth as she imagined the scene.

“He comes downstairs, gets on the intercom and says, ‘If you’re not an employee, get out.  Now.’  So we all had to stop in the middle of whatever we were doing and clean people off, bandage them up, walk them out.  All the while he’s just standing there glaring at us.  So all the clients leave and he locks the door.  He already locked the back door, I found out, because I was trying to just leave before the fight.”

“I tried to go upstairs and he wouldn’t let me,” Anne said, “and at that moment, I was more scared of him than my dad.  He had this look in his eyes like we were all in trouble.”

“Were you?” Julie asked, through a mouthful of chocolate chip crumbs.

Melissa rolled her eyes, “Of course we were!  The first thing he says after everyone is gone is ‘How many of you knew about this?’  Well we all knew but if any of us had told him, then we’d have the Diva to contend with.  Nobody wanted to get in the middle of that.  Even Leo was like, ‘Stay out of it.’”

“So I say, ‘Dude, we all know.  Even Leo knows.  But it’s not our business.  We don’t wanna be in the middle of your bullshit.” Anne continued.

“And Regan is disgusted, he hates to be interrupted in the middle of anything, so he blurts out, ‘You’re both a couple of fuckin’ skanks, so it serves you right.’” Melissa added.

“Duuude!” Julie exclaimed, only the stoner vernacular would suffice at that revelation.

“Girl, a jumbo jet could have fit in my mouth at that moment,” Anne said, yawning to illustrate her point.

“And for once, Kim was speechless,” Melissa went on, shaking her head.  “He looked hurt, actually.  Kinda like the way he looked last night.”

“I guess he thought we’d all gang up on Teva with him, but shit, getting into it with her is like putting a cat in a bag – you’re gonna get scratched.”

“I told him once, told him straight up that he was playing Russian Roulette with his dick.  But he just laughed at me.”

“Is this the story where she tried to kill him?” Julie asked Melissa.

“Yeah.  He found her hiding in the janitorial closet, dragged her downstairs to the lounge.  By the hair.”

“El Jefe did that to me once, when he caught me trying to sneak out to go to a party.  It really hurts.” Anne related, taking a cookie.

“Well no shit!” Julie exclaimed.  “If Kim did that to me I’d probably fight back too!”

“So he drags her in and starts yelling at all of us.  He said to her, ‘How many of us have you infected, you whoring bitch?!’  Well, I mean, I always thought Regan –“

“No dude, Regan already told me he’d do Teva’s friends, but never Teva.”

“And she’s screaming.  Screaming.  We’re all, like, stunned.”

“Total white-trash drama,” Anne opinioned, dismissively.

“If Leo had been there it never would have happened.  But Teva managed to kick Kim pretty hard and he let go for a second, so she’s running for the door and he says, ‘All the doors are locked, you can’t get out!’  And we all start thinking he’s flipped, you know?  Like we’re all hostages.”

“So then she ran into her station and we hear stuff flying around, falling on the floor,” Anne continued, “and then she came tearing out with something in her hand.”

“It was one of those switchblades, you know like you can buy in Chinatown?” Melissa said.

Julie gasped.

“Yeah, it had a long blade too, like six inches or something.”  Anne helped herself to another cookie.  “Do you guys have any milk?”

“Fridge,” Melissa responded.  “So then she comes running at him with this thing, talking about how she’s going to cut his dick off, and Dan just steps in and grabs her arm.”

“Oh!  And here’s the freaky shit,” Anne called from the kitchen.  She returned with two glasses of milk and handed one to Melissa.

“Oh, hey thanks.”

“De nada.  Okay, so Dan’s got her in a headlock now, trying to get the knife away, and Kim says, ‘No, let her go.  This bitch doesn’t have the intelligence to kill me.’”

“Oh my God!” Julie exclaimed again.  She stood up, suddenly, feeling dizzy. 

“And Dan says, ‘Fuck you man, she’s a psycho and she’s gonna end up hurting someone!’  Then Kim says, ‘If it’s me, what do you care?’  Regan says, ‘You know what?  Fuck it, let her go, Dan.  But you give us the keys and let us out!’”

“All the time they were arguing, Elaine called 9-1-1, so I knew the cops were gonna show up at any minute.  I only hoped it was before one of them got hurt,” Melissa went on, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“So then Dan lets her go and Kim just stands there.  She came up to him and put the knife against his throat.  He says, ‘Go ahead Teva, kill me.  Killing me won’t solve anything, because you’ll still be you.  You’ll never be me and you’re just going to have to accept that.’”

“And that made her mad enough that she stabbed him,” Melissa said, shuddering.  “Luckily she wasn’t really aiming so she got him in the collarbone and the knife glanced off.  Next thing we knew, the cops were banging on the front door and we had to go pretend like nothing had happened.”

“Dan fixed his necklace for him, but you can still see the scar,” Anne concluded, “I think he was more pissed that she screwed up his ink.  Filip Leu did that necklace, he’s always been so proud of it.”

“And I ask again, why is she still here?”

“Things like that don’t scare Kim.  Sure, a normal person would have let the cops take her away, pressed charges, fired her ass, all that.  But those two are always competing.  In that, I guess Kim did find a replacement for Corey.  Of course, Corey never wanted to actually kill him, as far as I can tell.”

“That we know of,” Melissa interjected.

“Right.  So like we said, chica, the man is crazy.  Is that enough disclosure for you?”

“We’re out of cookies,” Melissa announced, looking sadly at the empty bag.

“Dude, how come you never make those special cookies for us anymore?” Anne asked Julie.

“I’m never making peanut butter cookies again,” Julie answered, frowning.

She had baked him peanut butter cookies for Valentine’s Day, each topped with a dollop of grape jelly.  They were heart-shaped, and Melissa had taken a plain white take-out style box and decorated it for her, painting it with crimson hearts and roses.  Julie lined it with red-tinted wax paper, placing a small sheet between each cookie.

“He’s going to love this,” Melissa assured Julie, taking a length of red velvet ribbon and tying it around the box in an intricate bow, “because it’s creative.”

She had Melissa take it to the shop and leave it in front of his door.  Playfully, she rang the buzzer then scampered back down the stairs to her station.  About five minutes later Kim poked his head through the doorway and said, “Did you deliver this?” swinging the box by its’ metal handle.

“Naw dude, didn’t you see Cupid fly through here a minute ago?” she asked rhetorically, grinning.

“I must have missed him, which is good because I’m not in the mood to get shot in the ass.”

“Open it,” Melissa encouraged.

He meticulously untied the red ribbon, then used it to tie his hair back.  Carefully undoing the flaps of the box he peered inside and removed the top layer of wax paper.  Then he chuckled.

“What?” she asked.

“Oh you know what these are. . .I recognize your rosebuds anywhere, Mellie.”

“It was all her idea.  The cookies I mean.”

“Sweet,” he murmured, biting into the first in the pile.  “Mmm, want one?” he offered, holding the box out towards her.

“All yours, big guy.  We made fudge too and I’m stuffed.”

“Well I was going to wait until tonight, but I think Kama needs to pay a visit to a certain baker girl now.  Don’t tell her I’m coming, okay?”

Melissa gave him an innocent look and wiped the crumbs off her worktable with an antiseptic wipe.

After cleaning the kitchen, Julie sat on the couch, feeling like she had club soda running through her veins.  Acting consciously on a romantic impulse always had that effect on her.  She bubbled and fizzed and twitched and waited for the result.  The answer came with a familiar rap on the door.  Opened, it revealed Kim, smiling with something more profound than lust in his eyes.

He handed her a red box, tied with a gold ribbon.  The box was painted with a Mendhi design also in gold.  A gift tag was attached to the ribbon which bore the ideogram for “beloved.”  The box held one large, perfect strawberry which had been dipped half in dark chocolate, half in white chocolate, then swirled across the center so that the two types merged into a creamy beige.  She lifted it out by the stem and twirled it to view the entire decoration.

“It's too pretty to eat,” she opinioned.

He put his lips against her ear and answered, “Well so are you, but that never stops me.”

“Oh, you missed it, but,” Melissa commented to Anne, “as we were walking back to the shop last night, Kim said he’d let Julie stab him.”

“Dude!  See that is totally fucked up, Jules.”

“And you know he made sure to say that when the Diva wasn’t around.”

The two artists snickered and shook their heads.

“Well,” Anne continued, looking thoughtful, “maybe he thinks it would make you feel better, if you could get violent, or something.  Because otherwise you’re just going to obsess about him forever.”

“What is with him and ‘you’ll never forget me?’” Julie mused.

“I think every guy wants that, he’s just more honest about it than the rest of them,” Anne speculated.

“He’s possessive in his own way, you know.  For instance –“ Melissa put a finger upon the carnation tattoo on Julie's left breast.  “Do you know what this ideogram means?”

Julie looked down.  “It's the kanji for 'my,' he told me.  Meaning, 'my art.'  He said it puts it on all his tats.”

Melissa held forth her right arm.  “Do you see it here?”  Her upper arm bore a grouping of chrysanthemums with an overlay of a crane, one leg drawn up elegantly under its' cream and gold wing.  Julie peered closely at the design, looking for the sign.

“No.”

“Why do you think he put it next to every single tattoo he gave you, except for your tailpiece?  What do you think that means?”

“Just what he said, 'my art.'”

Melissa sighed, exasperated.  “No Jules, he's saying you're his: my work, my skin, my girl.  You go to some other artist and they take one look at that, maybe even recognize the style and they'll get spooked.  No one would mar a canvas of Kim's, if you wanted a cover-up, or something.  Well, no one except me because I don't give a shit about that.  But that's what he meant when he said you were marked.”

Anne looked at the digital display on the VCR.  “Girls, I gotta go.  I got a client coming in at 10:30 tomorrow.”  She stood up, stretching.

“I’ll call you a cab,” Melissa said.

“Okay.”

Julie had begun to tidy up the coffee table, moving items into the kitchen.  She heard Melissa and Anne talking in the bedroom.  It occurred to her, suddenly, that she had a better rejoinder than the one she used last night.  And she was equally possessed of an urge to slap that smile off his face.  It had been mocking her, in her mind, all day.  Though most likely he would find a way to distract her before she could bring the impulse to bear.

In the bedroom, Melissa and Anne heard the sound of a door shutting.  They looked at each other and shrugged.

“Do you want to stay over?  She won’t be back,” Melissa queried.

“Uh, okay.  Do you have some pajamas I could wear?”

Melissa reached into a dresser drawer and produced a pair: pink with white poodles printed on the fabric.

“You wear pink pajamas?!” Anne exclaimed.  “You’re a sorry excuse for a Goth, you know that?”

She looked up at his windows, standing in the alleyway, and could see light.  He was home.  Waiting for her.  She climbed the stairs and entered the code.  Knocking on the inner door, she could hear music playing, faintly.  She imagined that even if someone else were there with him, he’d still answer.  It was the perverse nature of his psyche.  Responding to the summons, he held open the door but she stood on the threshold, staring at him.

“If I stabbed you,” Julie said, the second half of their ongoing conversation now taking place, “I wouldn’t miss.”  She touched the scar on his collarbone, a welt of skin which the ink took a holiday from, gray instead of black.

“I don’t doubt it,” Kim agreed, his voice quiet.  “You’re a smart girl.”  He enfolded the hand that touched him within his own and pulled her inside.

“Jules,” Kim called, quietly, to the woman in his bed.  He had to say her name more than once, resisting the urge to rub his beard against her face as he used to do upon waking her.  Her eyes fluttered and he gave a slight smile to her hazel gaze when they finally opened.  The first thing she did was sigh, then frown.

“Was it that bad?” he teased.  “You didn’t seem to think so last night.”

“I knew it.  I purposely avoided getting stoned last night because I didn’t want to do it again.  Why do you keep letting me do this?”

“That’s the difference between us,” he said, lying down on the other side and lighting a cigarette.  “I would never say no to you.”

“You can’t say no to anyone, how does that make you better than me?”

Chuckling as he exhaled, he continued to examine the ceiling.  “Did I ever tell you that I spent an entire weekend painting this ceiling with those gold stars?”

“No,” she answered, turning onto her back and joining him in scrutiny.

“Someone had given Leo this funky herbal drink, they snuck it in from Thailand or something.  Stuff was lethal, man, I was up for two days straight.”

“Painting stars.”

“Among other things.  You’re wrong, by the way.”

“About?”

“Well for one thing, I didn’t say my inability to turn you down made me better, just different.  And I’ve said no to plenty of people over the past six months.”

“Apparently not enough people.  Can you see how saying yes to one person opens the door to suspicion?   Especially when we go out in public and I’ve got women giving me the look that says I know something you don’t.  Not to mention the fact that I’m now friends with a group of women wherein our only commonality is that we’ve all had sex with you!”

“Too bad Mellie can’t join the club, I’ve always thought she was cute.”

Julie sat up and attempted to push him off the bed, but his size made it impossible for her to budge him, even with the element of surprise.  “Would you stop being an asshole for five minutes?!”

“You don’t want to trust me, Julie.  I know that about you.  You want me to conform to your initial impression.  Anything I attempt to tell or show you which deviates from that norm is ignored.”

“Well that’s convenient, I set us up to fail.  Is that it?”

“I don’t think we have failed, but I know my opinion doesn’t matter to you.”

“Did you ever read the letter that girl wrote you?” she asked, changing tack. 

“No.”

“Maybe you should have,” she said, rising to dress.  “Then you’d understand why I feel so betrayed.”

On the weekends Kim was out of town, Julie would often hang out at the shop with Melissa as she awaited appointments, or if she was in the mood to make some extra money on walk-ins.  One Sunday afternoon was particularly quiet as she did her impression of Elaine, keeping an eye on the door and the phones while reading a book.  Around four o’clock a girl came in, pretty and blonde, with a perfectly flat stomach whose most interesting feature was the flowering vine tattooed around her pierced navel.

“Welcome to Inner Ink,” Julie greeted her.

“Hi,” the girl chirped at her, smiling wide.  She had dimples, and her eyes sparkled.  Mellie might get a little crush on this one, Julie thought.

“What can I help you with?”

“Is Kim here?”

“Not today.”

“This is his shop, right?” the girl asked, looking slightly panicked.

“Yes.  He’s in Chicago at a convention.  He won’t be back until next week, he’s going to be the guest artist at some parlors starting Monday.”

“Oh shit, I’m only in town today.  I tried calling him on his cell but he’s not answering.”

“He usually doesn’t answer his phone while he’s working.”

“So you’re sure he’s not in town?”

Julie felt herself becoming annoyed.  She frowned slightly, but not enough to be impolite.  “Yes, I made his travel arrangements myself.”

“Damnit!” the girl exclaimed, quietly.

“The artist that is in today was trained in his style,” Julie offered, attempting to be helpful although a certain suspicion was beginning to take hold of her train of thought.

“Oh, I didn’t come to get a tat.  Kim already gave me this –“ she said, gesturing to the design on her stomach, “I just wanted to see him again.   I’ve been trying to call him since we met last month and I can’t ever get past his voicemail.”

A little flashback, then, of sitting in his apartment with him a week ago as his phone trilled.  Kim picked it up, glanced at the display, and set it back down on the coffee table.  It continued to ring until the voicemail system picked up.  Half an hour later it happened again.

“Who keeps calling you?” Julie asked.

“No one I know,” Kim answered.

“Well, if you want to leave him a note or something, I can give it to him when he gets back to town.”

“If you talk to him later on, can you tell him Kirsti is trying to get ahold of him?  He has my number.”

“He has a lot of numbers.  You might want to leave it again.”

“Oh yeah,” the girl, apparently named Kirsti, giggled.  “Do you know if he’s got a girlfriend?  He told me he did, but sometimes guys say that when they don’t want to get involved.”

“Do they?” Julie asked, dryly.  “Well he did, but that’s over now.”

“I wish I lived closer.  Right now I’m in Austin, my friend and I drove all the way up here in three days.”

“At least there’s plenty of other things to do up here, after coming such a long way.”

“Yeah, we’ve been walking around, it’s really cool here.”

Despite the sickening feeling she had in the pit of her stomach, Julie decided to encourage further revelation.  She handed Kirsti a pad of paper emblazoned with the shop logo and a pen, similarly designed.  “So you can leave him a note.”

“Oh, thanks.”  She sat down in one of the chairs, resting the pad upon her knee and furrowing her brow in thought.  She lost none of her visual appeal in the midst of such an act, Julie noted.

Melissa led her client out to the desk, and Julie rang up the remainder of the fee agreed upon.  When the transaction was concluded and the customer departed, she cocked her head towards the young woman in a questioning gesture. 

“Groupie,” Julie mouthed, exaggerated so that she wouldn’t have to speak.

“Ah,” came the barely-voiced reply.  She brought over the chair from the consultation desk and joined her friend.  After a time Kirsti approached the desk again, with a folded piece of paper.

“Okay, well. . .if you could give this to him when you see him.”

“No problem,” Julie said, using one of her best fake smiles.

“Nice ink,” Melissa said, pointing to her stomach.

“Thanks!  Hey, so you work with Kim?”

“Yeah, this is my first real job, I was an apprentice somewhere else.  So are you looking to get more ink?”

“I’d never let anyone else work on me but Kim – he’s got me totally spoiled.  His skin is sooo soft!” she enthused.

Melissa eyed Julie, feeling confused.  Julie gave her a neutral look.

“So are you an artist too?” Melissa asked.

“Oh no, I just said that because.  . .well. . .you know.”  Her blush was very obvious, her fair skin taking on a strawberry hue.

“He took it out in trade, huh?” Julie asked, her voice ominously hushed.

“Yeah, well, at first I was in line at the booth and he told me he’d work on me later.  So my friend and I went to his hotel room that night, and there were already two girls there waiting.  After they got their tattoos he gave me mine.  Told my friend to leave.  She didn’t want to leave me alone with him, but that’s exactly what I wanted!”

Melissa began to feel vaguely nauseous, because she knew Julie was deliberately seeking a confession.

“Yeah, we know how he is with the girlies, but he’s got a girlfriend now,” she interjected.

“That’s what he told me too, but then you said –“

“Not anymore,” Julie replied, looking at Melissa.

“Right.  And well, if he did, then all I can say was she should have kept him!  That was the best night of my life, even though my stomach was hurting me.”

“He used a condom, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Kirsti answered, looking put upon, “why do you ask?”

“Because, well, you know -“ Julie went on, using the same tone of voice that Kirsti employed, “- he’s a slut, and you can’t be too careful.  That’s why he doesn’t have a girlfriend now.”

“Oh but see, I can handle that kinda stuff,” Kirsti retorted, her response smug.  “I used to date the guitarist in Firepit, and girls threw themselves at him all the time.  Guys like that, you just have to convince them that your pussy is, like, gold-plated, you know?”

“That works for you, does it?” Melissa asked, sarcastically.

“Oh sure, I always get what I want!  Okay, well, we gotta get back on the road, but thanks!  I’m sure I’ll see you guys again sometime.”

Melissa watched her hips sashay confidently as she strode out of the shop.  “What a bimbo,” she murmured.

Julie unfolded the note and glanced over it.  She noticed that Kirsti wrote with the large, looping, childish scrawl which many pretty girls seemed to adopt, even dotting her Is with hearts.  Because anger was preferable to tears at that moment, she decided to read it aloud.  She hit the “send all calls” button on the phone and announced, “We’re closed now, okay?”

“Yeah,” Melissa said, getting up to lock the door.

“Hey sexy,” Julie began, holding up the note, “I can’t believe I drove all the way up here to see you, since I can’t ever seem to get ahold of you!  And you were out of town!  But you’ve made me crazy, and you marked me, like you said.  I can’t stop thinking about you!  The receptionist told me you don’t have a girlfriend now and if you’re interested, I’m totally available for you.  It was just so good with you, and I think you thought so too.  I hope you did.  It wasn’t just 'paying' for my tattoo, at least not to me.  I know lots of girls come on to you, but I think I see the real you, the artist, not just the guy who’s good-looking and well-known.  So please, call me!  Even if you’re with someone else, I’d still do anything you wanted, you just have to ask. . .”

“Ugh, dude, stop already,” Melissa pleaded.

“That’s all there is.  She drew a bunch of hearts around her name.”

Melissa put her arms around Julie.  Julie hugged back, but then sat up, pushing her away slightly.

“I’m not going to cry,” she said.  “Well, not until I go home and take a shower.  ‘Cause I feel like I need one, really bad.”

Melissa sighed, getting up to go in the back.  “Let me clean my station then we’ll go get a drink, okay?”

“Or three.”

“Whatever –“ Melissa began to say, but then stopped herself.

“How many Kirstis do you think he’s had in the last-“ Julie counted on her fingers, “- six months?”

“Dude, this was probably just a slip,” Melissa commented, as Julie came to stand in the doorway of her work area.  “You know, girls are crawling all over him, he’s been drinking, inking people who are begging to suck his dick –“

“You say that like it happens all the time.”

“It does!  Jules, I’ve been there, remember?  I’ve seen girls come to his room naked, no shame.  And not just for ink.  They come to the conventions wanting to nail him whether he works on them or not.  And they’re relentless.  So yeah, she probably just wore him down until he said yes without really thinking about it.  It’s amazing he’s held out this long.”

Julie raised an eyebrow, her expression hardening.  “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Melissa sighed, throwing a bunch of antiseptic wipes into the biohazard bin.  “Maybe there is, but I’m not gonna tell you now, either.  If Kim screwed around on you, then he’s got to tell you.”

“Mellie, he’s not gonna fucking tell me!  This happened a month ago, and if that skank hadn’t shown up here ‘cause she’s obsessed with him, do you think he ever would have told me?!”

“I don’t know.”

When she handed him the note, a week later, he glanced at it in much the same way she did and handed it back to her.

“Don’t you want to read about how much she wants you?” Julie had asked, her voice bitter.

“No.  She doesn’t want me, she wants the Rock Star.”

“Oh no, she said she sees the ‘real you,’ whoever that is, and don’t ask me because I thought I knew, but I don’t.”  At that she began crying, angry at herself because she had rehearsed her speech beforehand.  But she didn’t count on those eyes that never stopped looking into hers.  He took the note back from her and lit it on fire with his lighter.  He dropped it in a nearby ashtray where it burned up in a matter of moments.

“You know what?  It doesn’t matter.  I have it memorized.  And you’re wrong, she’s perfect for you, she could handle you fucking around on her, but I can’t.  She said there were two other girls in your hotel room besides her and her friend.  So was she just a link in the goddamn chain?”

“No.  I didn’t do anything to either of those girls, except ink them.”

So many retorts rose to the surface, fighting for dominance, but she ignored them all.

“You’re right, we’re all marked for life by you.  But you know what?  You need to think about you’re doing, because that girl?  I realized, she’s not a skank, she’s just a girl who got fooled the same as I did that you could actually think past your dick.  What did she say when you told her you had a girlfriend?”

“She said she didn’t care.”

“So you stopped caring too?”

“I’m not going to argue with you.  Yes, I fucked her.  No, it wasn’t because I don’t love you.  It’s the life.  It’s what happens, sometimes.”

“And yet you continue to put yourself in situations where it could happen again.”

“That’s how I work.  Even you wanted something explicitly sexual from me.  And I can guarantee you that if we had met under different circumstances that’s exactly what would have happened.  But I wanted you first.  I saw you standing in Leo’s backyard and I wanted you, I didn’t care who you were or even if you did have someone else.  I was going to get you.  And for all your reluctance, I know you wanted me too.  Anything else, that exists outside of you and me, is bullshit.  All that matters is that we’re connected, you and I.  You’ll allow me to put my art on you, and I will fulfill any fantasy you have.”

“Except the one where you’re faithful.”

He was silent for a time, smoking.  Then he folded his hands on his chest.

“You know what being ‘faithful’ really means, Julie?  It means believing in something you can’t empirically prove.  I continue to believe there’s a woman in there, somewhere, who is my equal.  But I can’t prove it when she insists that the only true measure of my love for her is related to sexual fidelity.”

Returning from memory, Julie found herself kneeling upon his couch, recalling it was the spot where that particular debate took place.  From below, she could hear snatches of music and conversation.  Her face burned with shame.  So predictable.  Kim entered the room, pulling a t-shirt over his head.

“Do you want a sandwich?” he asked her.

“No.  Even the smell of peanut butter makes me want to throw up.”

“I could make it just jelly, though it would be a violation of my principles to do so.”

“Ha ha,” Julie replied, in a monotone.

“You know I’m not one to throw you out, but I’ve got a client coming in an hour.”

“Do you,” she said, not moving.

“Yeah, some guy Regan was too superstitious to work on.”  He sat down beside her.  “If you want to take a shower you should do it now.”

“I’m going home.”

“You don’t have to go, but I thought you’d want to be decent before he gets here.”

“No, I have to go.”  She found her shoes and pulled on the hoodie she had worn the night before.

“It’s not really cold out there.”

“You can’t have this back.”

“I know.” 

She walked to the door.

“I’ll see you tonight, then,” he said in farewell.  She turned back, glaring.

“At the party, I mean.”  He winked, and was a little sad to see that her anger completely dissolved into a kind of resignation.

Six-thirty rolled around and everyone on the clock at Inner Ink made preparations to depart as soon as 30 minutes had passed – no one wanted to be a straggler to Leo’s – especially on the night before traveling to the biggest convention of the year.

Teva and Melissa sat in the lounge, having cleaned their stations long before.  Teva made a call on her cell phone.

“Hey cutie,” she said to the person on the other end.  “You’re gonna be here at seven, right?”  She then giggled.  “Don’t worry boy, we won’t hang around that long.”

“Why don’t you just bail this time and go be alone with your new boy toy?” Melissa asked her, sounding weary.

“Fuck you.  Why should I?”

“Haven’t you caused enough trouble in, like, your entire life?  You could give it a rest for one night.”

Just then, Leo greeted them in the doorway.

“Hello lovelies, who wants to come early and help me out?”

Melissa jumped up.  “You better have salad fixings this time.”

“Oh I’ve been to the grocery.  Are you ready to go now?”

“Yeah, just let me grab my stuff.”

Kim passed her in the doorway and asked, “Where’s your roommate?”

“I dunno, probably at the apartment.  She can always drive over herself.”

He gave no response, moving over to the coffeemaker and pouring himself the last of the pot, then shutting the machine off.

“Hey, don’t take all of it!” Teva exclaimed.

Kim gestured towards her with his mug and she handed him hers.  He transferred half the contents to the other cup.  She took it and sat down.

“You’re welcome, Ms. Diva.”

She gave him a smile that was definitely counterfeit.

“So what was your take today?” he asked her.

“Five hundred,” she said, then blew on her coffee.

“Slow day.”

“I had three clients, it was busy enough.”

“You better hope you’re busier in Detroit.”

She gave him an annoyed look.  “Why don’t you stop riding my ass and keep chasing your girlfriend’s, okay?”

“You work for me, remember?”

A disgusted snort escaped her mouth.  “More like I slave for you, you ungrateful bastard.”

“I would tell you to shut up before I choke you with my cock,” Kim said, giving Teva a look that bordered on intense psychosis, “except I know that’s how you wanna die.”

She stood up and let fly with her coffee mug; and as if he had intuited she was going to respond in that fashion, he stepped aside just in time and the cup hit the wall, shattering and sending rivulets of steaming coffee in all directions.

“I’d kill you first, motherfucker!” she screamed at him.  “I’d kill you and cut that ugly thing off!”

Leo, alerted by the sound of breaking objects, ran into the lounge.

“Kim, leave her alone,” he pleaded, grabbing his manager by the arm and pulling him toward the exit.  “Jesus Christ you never know when to stop!”

“I keep telling you, you can’t be me, Teva,” he said to her even as he was being removed from the scene, watching her face crumple as tears spilled onto her cheeks, “you can’t have it both ways.”

“Shut up!” she roared, and looked around for something else to throw.  Leo closed the door before she could find another projectile.