Untitled (See A/N inside!)

So! I'm still at a total loss at what the HELL to name this damn story...

Again, thanks all of you so much for the reviews! I love you guys!

DRAMA! =) And some revelations, yea? w00t! Here we go! And don't you all worry, I know I've been seriously lacking on smutty goodness, but I'm thinking something will happen very soon.
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“I don’t have beer.” Landon said, busying himself with making more coffee instead of having to look at Dean, who was perched on one of the café chairs around the table. “I quit drinking entirely now.”

“That’s good.” Dean said from behind him. “This is your place?”

“Yes, and I’d like you to keep your comments to yourself about it.” Landon said. “Coffee?”

“No. Come sit down, Lan.”

Landon did, putting his elbows on the table. “You want me to watch the girls while you’re at work.” he said. “For money.”

Dean looked around. “Honestly, I think you could use it.” he said. Landon once again wanted to laugh at Dean’s ability to pick up on his thoughts. Hadn’t he just been thinking about a second job? “But yea, pretty much.”

“And you think this will help the girls.”

“I know it will.” Dean replied. “They miss you.”

“I miss them.” Landon admitted. “How much?”

“Seventy five a day?”

Landon’s eyebrows rose. “For, what, less than four hours of work? Seriously?”

Dean shrugged. “It’s fifteen hundred a month.”

“That’s more than my expenses in total, Dean.”

Dean shrugged. “Save up, then. Go back to school next fall.” Landon put one hand on his forehead and giggled, unable to help it. “What?”

“Just you.” Landon said with a shake of his head. “You always do that. I’m thinking something, and you bring it up. The truck, the money, school. You’ve done it three times today.”

“Sorry.” Dean said with a shrug. “Maybe you’re just easy to read.”

“Maybe you’re psychic.” Landon countered, half smiling.

“That wouldn’t make any sense.” Dean said. “Considering I only do that with you. That would suggest we have a one-way mind link, which sort of creeps me out.”

“Fair enough.” Landon dropped his hand back onto the table. “If I say yes to this, there’s some things we need to work out.” Dean nodded, listening. “First of which is that this doesn’t put you and I on good terms.”

“I know.” Dean nodded his head again.

“The shit you pulled those last few weeks were lived together, that’s never going to happen again.” Dean bit his lip, still nodding. “The first time you step over a line, I’m done. This whole thing is against my better judgment. I’m doing this because of the girls, no other reason. Do not think that you can use my feelings to manipulate me or somehow turn this-”

“Landon, I would never-”

“The fuck you wouldn’t.” Landon snapped at him. “I can’t sit here and tell you that I don’t feel anything towards you. I feel so much different shit that I don’t know which way I’m going with you. I’m not going to lie and tell you otherwise. You and me, we’ve spent far too much time lying at each other, and it makes me sick. But I’ll be damned if I’ll let you control me with how I feel. Do you get it?”

Dean nodded. “I get it, Lan.”

“Good.” Landon got up and got himself a cup of coffee. “As far as the money goes, I need the first month in advance. Can you do that?”

“I can.”

“Okay.” Landon sat down. “And I’d really appreciate your offer to let me use the truck.” Dean smiled and nodded. “When’s a good day? I have until Monday, but they’re closed Sunday.”

“We can do it now.” Dean looked at his watch. “Still have some time before the girls get out of school. I’ll text Abby the address for her to bring the girls here.”

Landon half smiled. “You aren’t going to tell her it’s my apartment, are you?”

Dean laughed. “I’d rather just surprise her.” he said, and Landon nodded. “You’ll have to drive me back to the office to get the truck. We can pick your stuff up, and you can follow me here.”

“Okay.” they both stood up at the same time, and Landon slammed down his entire cup of coffee. Dean arched an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“Your caffeine intake is astronomical.” Dean told him. For a moment he stood there, looking uncertain, and then he moved. He was around the table and had his arms sliding around Landon’s shoulders so quickly Landon didn’t even have time react.

“Dean-” Landon stopped, and just let him brother-in-law hug him. “I know.” he said quietly, understanding exactly what the gesture was supposed to impart. “I get it.” he hugged back, resting his forehead against Dean’s chest.

“I’m sorry.” Dean said it anyway, and Landon supposed he had to. Dean was like that sometimes.

“I know.” Landon repeated. He hated to admit how good this felt; he didn’t want to keep feeling like this, didn’t want to keep wanting. Dean was worse than any vice he’d ever had, and he wondered idly if there was a support group he could join. Getting Over Inappropriate Attraction To Siblings’ Significant Others, or something. He sighed heavily and pulled away. “I hate that, you know.” he said quietly. “That fast like a freak moving thing you do. No guy your size should be able to do that.”

Dean half smiled and stepped away. “Come on. Let’s go get your hideous furniture.”
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Dean sent Abby a text on the way to his office, giving her the address of ‘the new sitter’. It took more time than Landon expected to get the furniture loaded and taken to the apartment, and when they got there, the first thing Dean did was smash his entire left hand in the tail gate of the truck. He roared obscenities and bounced around for a while, making Landon giggle hysterically. They got the couch upstairs with no small amount of swearing and sweating, and Dean managed to sandwich his other hand between the couch and the front door frame.

“That’s it.” Dean said, panting, as soon as the couch was situated. He threw himself over the arm face down and mumbled, “I’m never helping you move furniture again.”

Landon rolled his eyes. “There’s still the wingback, too.” he said, and Dean groaned loudly. “Come on, you sissy.”

“Hey now.” Dean got up, rolling his head from one side to the other, his neck cracking. “Watch what you say, or you can just bring it up yourself.” he smirked and followed Landon back downstairs.

They got the chair up, and then Dean brought the tables and Landon got the lamps. When everything was where Landon wanted it, he stepped back and looked at the affect.

“You were right.” Dean said, his hands on his hips. “This is awful.”

“Shut up, I like it.” Landon went and sat down on the couch, smiling to himself.

“You would. You need a coffee table, but I doubt you‘ll ever find something terrible enough to fit in this room.” Dean folded his arms over his chest and smiled. “The girls should be here soon.”

“Okay.” Landon got up and stretched. “Can you do me a favor? If I write out a list, can you go to the grocery store for me? I don’t have food for those three. They eat like… well, like growing children.”

Dean nodded. “Sure. At least then I’ll be paying you for a reason today.” Landon rolled his eyes and found a pad of paper in a drawer. He made a list of all the things he knew the girls liked, then handed it over. Dean arched an eyebrow. “Is this coming out of your advance?”

“Yes, smart ass.” Landon replied. “Now get out.”

Dean gave him a little salute and got going. Landon shut the door behind him and then busied himself by cleaning the stove. About half an hour later, he heard someone knock on the front door. Grinning, he wiped his hands off and answered it.

The girls stood there, staring at him like he was an alien. “Hey, girls.” he greeted, his smile widening at the sight of them. “You want to come in?”

Abby opened her mouth, made an odd sound, and then said, “Dad said this was the new sitter’s address.”

“It is.”

For a moment the girls exchanged looks silently. Then Eleanor shrieked on the top of her lungs, wrapped herself around him, and climbed him like a tree. Laughing, he hugged her hard, feeling dangerously close to tears. Looking past Eleanor’s jet black hair, he saw Hannah was actually crying a little, and he reached over with one arm and pulled her into the apartment.

“Come here, Kiddo.” he said softly, and she buried her face against his side. Abby hugged him too, so he was effectively completely wrapped in his nieces. “Oh, I’ve missed you guys.”

“Miss you, too.” Abby whispered, and kissed his cheek. “But I don’t understand.”

Landon got them all sitting down, although there was a little argument because they all wanted to sit next to him. They settled with Landon in the middle of the couch with Eleanor on one side and Hannah on the other, and Abby sat on the wingback. They were all staring at him like he’d died and then been resurrected. He guessed maybe it felt like it; he certainly felt that way. He hadn’t realized how bad he really felt without them around.

“Your dad and I had coffee today and talked.” he told then. “And we worked it out to where you guys get to come and stay with me until he’s out of work. How does that sound to you?”

“Great.” Hannah said, beaming up at him. She had a fading, yellow bruise on one cheek. “Ellie ran off the last sitter.”

“She was a bitch.” Eleanor said.

“Ellie, language.” Abby said offhandedly, as though this hadn’t surprised her at all. Landon gave his youngest niece a look that made her pout and look guilty. Landon decided to let that one go for right now.

“Your Dad’s at the grocery store, but he’ll be back in a little bit. He took half the day off to work this out for you guys, so be grateful and don’t give him trouble tonight, okay?” they all nodded. “That’s my girls.” He hugged Hannah first, pressing his face against the top of her head. “I’d like to talk to each of you separately. Abby, there’s a park about a block away. Would you mind taking Ellie down there for, say, forty five minutes?” Abby stood up and collected Eleanor off the couch, who did not want to go. “Don’t worry, dearest, you’ll be back soon. Go have fun.”

When they were gone, he sat back and took Hannah’s face gently in his hands. “Let me see that.” he said, brushing his thumb across the bruise. “Oh, Kiddo. What have you been doing?”

She pulled away, looking miserable. “I’m sorry.” she whispered. “Everything’s all messed up, Uncle Lannie.” she sniffed and pulled her knees up to her chest. “Why did you leave?” she asked him.

He sighed. “Your dad and me were having a lot of problems.” he told her. It occurred to him that every time he had to talk about him and Dean, it really did sound like a break up. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but he knew it made his stomach hurt. “It finally just got to be too much.”

“But you fixed them?” she asked.

“No.” he said honestly. “Not really. We’re working on it, but…”

She sighed. “So you aren’t coming home?” she asked him.

The word made him think about Dean’s comment earlier. “This is my home, Hannah.” he told her gently.

“No, it isn’t.” she insisted. “Our house is your home.”

He sighed. “I can’t live there right now.” he told her, not wanting to argue the point.

“Because of Daddy?” He shrugged. “What did he do?”

“It’s a long story, Kiddo.” he told her. “Anyway, I wanted to talk about this fighting thing.” she scowled and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s got to stop, Hannah.”

“Or what?” she asked, looking up at him. “You’ll go away again?”

This hurt him badly, but he knew right now wasn’t the time. “If that’s what it takes.” he told her, not meaning it. It got the affect he wanted out of her, though. She looked stricken for a moment, like she was about to burst into tears. Then her jaw set, reminding Landon of Dean so deeply it was a little scary, and she nodded. “You’ll stop?”

“Yea, I’ll stop.” she said. “You can’t leave again.”

“Okay.” he hugged her, noticing her hesitation before returning it. He knew that the threat was idle, but she didn’t. He also knew it would make things strained between them for a while. It was worth it, if it was what would get her back on track. He looked at his watch. “Tell me what’s been going on with you.” he said, and they ended up cuddled on the couch while she talked about the good stuff she could think of. He knew she was leaving a lot out; all the bad stuff, he guessed. For now, he let her. They had time for the negative later.

When Dean came back, arms loaded with paper bags and looked stressed out, Hannah got up and helped him without having to be asked. She and Landon put everything away, and by the time they finished, the other girls came home. Dean took Hannah and Eleanor to the park so that Landon could talk to Abby.

This time, Landon sat with his niece at the kitchen table. He offered her coffee, which she accepted, and for a little while they just sat there. While Landon was trying, and failing, to come up with something to say, Abby spoke.

“I know Dad told you what’s been going on.” She had both hands wrapped around her coffee mug. “With Hannah and Ellie, with me.”

“He told me some.” he said softly. “You stopped seeing Josie.”

She shrugged. “I just beat her to the punch.” she said, and sipped her coffee.

“What does that mean?” he asked, frowning.

“It means I left her before she could leave me.” she sighed. “Everyone seems to be making that a habit lately, so I figured what the hell, you know?”

Landon leaned back, shaking his head. “Wow, Abby. I mean… well, fuck.”

“Yea.” she shrugged. “That’s what I said. Well, fuck.” she laughed softly. “Hannah and Ellie, they kept acting out, you know? You weren’t there, which meant that nothing would happen to them. No one would do anything. Dad, he just… I don’t know, shut down. I guess losing two gingers in under a year kind of killed him for a bit there.”

“I’m not a ginger.” Landon muttered. “I’m dying my hair.”

She laughed again. “You’re totally a ginger, Lannie, so stop fighting it and just embrace the power that comes with it. Everyone loves a redhead.” he rolled his eyes at her and she stuck out her tongue in retaliation.

“Let’s be serious for a minute, Abby.” she nodded, her smile disappearing. “I know you girls are confused about why I left-”

“No I’m not.” Abby cut in. “You wanted my Dad.” His mouth popped open but no sound came out. She gave him a sly little smile. “Just like I knew Mom was going to leave. Neither of you are very good at hiding things, if someone pays close enough attention. Do you love him?”

“I… you….” he shook his head, unable to speak.

“I wish you two could’ve worked it out.” she told him. “That would’ve been pretty awesome. Having you as a second Dad.”

“Oh God.” he covered his eyes with one hand and she laughed. “Wow, this is… I’m not really sure what to say here, Abby.”

“You don’t really have to say anything.” she said. “Dad, he… well, I know why Mom left him. You know, after all those years, after growing up watching you do whatever you wanted, she just sort of felt… trapped I guess.” Landon lifted his head to stare at her, astounded into silence. “I guess an affair was sort of natural, feeling like she’d wasted her life. A guy from her past, you know? Lost opportunity. You know, he wanted her to leave way before she actually did. It’s nice to know she hesitated. Makes me almost believed she cared.”

“How… how do you know this?” Landon asked her.

“She left her journals.” Abby said. “She kept really detailed daily accounts on her computer. I guess she forgot about them. I like to pretend she left them for me to find, you know, to maybe explain away some of the pain.” she reached up, tucking back a stray strand of hair, and sighed. “It’s a lie, but it’s nice to be able to have the option of believing it anyway, since she’s not here to tell me otherwise.” she studied her uncle for a moment, then said, “I don’t get why you left, except that I know you and Dad had started fighting a lot. Was it because of Ellie’s teacher? Do you love him?”

“What? No.” he shook his head. “No, he’s… I don’t know what he is.” Abby nodded. “Abby, I’m so sorry about all of this.” she let him take one of her hands, and went so far as to lace their fingers together over the table. “I wish you didn’t have to know so much.”

“Me too.” she admitted. “I wish I could just be ignorant about all of it. The knowing, it doesn’t make it better. The questions would be easier to stomach than the answers.” she tilted her head a little. “Except with you, Lannie. I just can’t understand why you left.”

He sighed. “I hope you never have to understand, sweetness. Living like that… pretending I didn’t feel a certain way when I did, and then after Dean found out and knowing that he wasn’t ever going to-”

“Did he say that?” she asked him. “That he wouldn’t?”

“I don’t…” he sighed again. “Your father is not going to wake up gay one day, Abby. People aren’t like that.”

“I am.” she pointed out, squeezing his fingers affectionately.

“No, it just took the right girl for you to notice.” he said. “You didn’t date before her, remember? You told me there were no guys at your school that appealed to you. Turns out you were just looking the wrong way.”

“I guess so.” she bit her lip, frowning a little. “Honestly, Lannie, I think Dad’s just having a hard time figuring out what he wants. I mean, the way he’s been since you left, it’s like you broke up with him.”

He shook his head. “You know, I think you inherited your father’s minor physic ability.” he said, and she gave him a confused look. “Never mind.” he paused for a moment. “I think that when your mother left, Dean put everything he was feeling behind a wall. I’d seen him grieve once, and only once. When I left, maybe it just broke that wall down.”

“And maybe he was regretting pushing you away.” she said.

He pulled his hand away from her. “Abby-”

“How do you know?” she asked him fiercely. “How can you be sure?”

“Your father and I went down that road, Abby.” he told her, and at the look on his face he flushed. “No, not like that. Christ, how’d you get so perverted?”

“I’m a seventeen year old girl.” she told him, smiling.

“Well, knock it off. Your father and I didn’t sleep together.”

“But something happened, didn’t it?” she asked. “Something made you think he didn’t care for you.”

“Yea, he said it.” Landon said, and Abby frowned. “Why do you look so confused?”

“I just… his actions… I mean, if he doesn’t care about you, why is he acting like this?”

“Like what?” Landon asked.

She sighed. “Lannie, he’s so depressed.”

“He lost his wife.”

“He lost you, stupid.” she snapped at him. “God, men are so dumb sometimes.”

Landon frowned. “Abby, I think this is just wishful thinking on your part.” he told her, and she snorted.

“Is that why he and Ellie spend every other night sleeping in the attic?” she asked him. He stared at her, confused. “He doesn’t know that I know about it. He’ll talk about Ellie sneaking up there at night, and he’s obviously somehow managed to make her promise not to talk about the fact that he’d been doing it long before she started.”

“What the hell would he-”

The front door slammed, startling them both. Landon heard Eleanor’s delighted laugh, and then Dean mumbled something. His entire skin broke out into goose bumps. He wasn’t sure if he was angry at Dean, or simply confused, or hurt, or what. What he did know was that he wanted to forget Abby had ever said anything about it. He certainly didn’t want to think about what it meant if Abby was right.

He was starting to wish he’d never agreed to this fucked up arrangement. Girls or no, Dean couldn’t manage to go one day without fucking his whole world up.

They went out into the living room, where Hannah and Dean were sitting on the couch and Eleanor was attempting to do kart wheels and in the very small space between the front door and the couch. “Girls, how about you go watch a movie in my room while your dad and me make something to eat?” Landon suggested. He shot Abby a look and she nodded.

“Come on, you two.” Abby said, and she herded her sisters down the hall.

“Don’t jump on my bed.” Landon called after them, then turned and looked at Dean. “Come in the kitchen.” he said. Dean unfolded off the couch and followed him into the kitchen. “Peel potatoes, I’ll make them those steak fries they like so much.”

“You sure that won’t take too long?” Dean asked. “I don’t want to impose on your anymore than I already have today.”

Landon gave him a flat stare for a moment. “Who really sleeps in the attic nowadays, Dean?” he asked.

“What?” Dean frowned. “What do you mean? Did Ellie-”

“Don’t bring her into this.” Landon cut in. “Answer my question.”

Dean sighed. “What do you want me to say, Lan?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the counter. “I do.”

“Why?” Landon asked him. “What fucking reason could you possibly have?”

Dean sighed and pressed one hand to his forehead. “Landon, considering everything, I really don’t think this is a good time to talk about this. Can’t we just attempt to have one normal interaction? Can’t I just peel some fucking potatoes, let the girls have a good day, and then go home?”

“No.” Landon folded his arms. “I mean, you can peel the fucking potatoes, but no, we apparently cannot have one normal interaction.”

“You don’t always have to start fights, you know.” Dean said quietly. He turned and started rummaging through a drawer. “Where the fuck is your peeler?”

“Second drawer down, on the left, by the can opener.” Landon said. “I’m not trying to start a fight, I’m trying to start a fight, I’m just trying to understand what the fuck you think you’re doing.”

“I’m trying to make the girls happy, Landon. That’s all I’m trying to do.“ Dean opened the drawer and got the peeler out. “How can you not afford furniture, but you’ve got seriously high end kitchen supplies?”

“I like to cook. It’s important to have the right tools.” Landon sighed. “What about you, then? What would make you happy? This obviously isn’t it, since you’re acting like a total freak, apparently.”

“It doesn’t matter what would make me happy right now. It’s not about me, it’s about them. By the way, that’s the second time you’ve called me a freak today.” Dean pointed out. “Potatoes?”

“In the box, there, where potatoes belong. It’s called a potato box. I kept trying to get you to buy one, remember? Furthermore, it’s about whatever I ask you about, Dean. And who cares if I’ve called you a freak?”

“I care.” Dean said, opening the box by the window. “What the fuck does a potato box do, exactly? And you have onions in here too.” he pulled the bag of potatoes out and set them on the counter. “I care if you call me a freak, for one, and two, I’m trying to not be a total selfish asshole for once, and apparently I’m wrong for that? Explain, please. I’m lost.” he sighed. “Am I washing these first?”

“Yes. Peel them in strips, only half the skin, like how I showed you with cucumbers that one time.” Dean nodded. “also, a potato box is where you keep potatoes. Onions can go in there, too. They do exactly what it sounds like. A box for potatoes.” he sat down at the table finally. “Don’t be sensitive about me calling you a freak, at least I didn’t call you an asshole. And the problem that I have with your claim of not being a selfish asshole is that you’re hiding things. I thought I said earlier that I was sick of all the lying between you and me.”

“Okay.” Dean turned. “Look, we’ve got to stop having nine different conversations all at once, I’m getting confused.” Landon chuckled, despite how annoyed he was, and nodded. “So I’m washing, then half peeling, then what? Let’s get this part out of the way so we can get to the serious part.”

“Homemade steak fries are serious business, Dean.” Landon said.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Landon-”

“Okay, okay.” Landon chuckled again. “After you peel them, you cut them in them in half lengthwise, then into strips about the width of my thumb. Not yours, your thumbs are huge. About a third of an inch. Then you cut all the strips in half again, only thick wise that time.”

“Who’s making these?” Dean asked, smirking.

“You, apparently.” Landon grinned. “When you’re done, let me know and I’ll tell you how to season them.”

“How many?”

Landon thought. “Do eight. It’s a lot, but the girls love them and they can take them home for later.” Dean turned and started washing potatoes. “Now, about the serious stuff-”

“I’m not sure what you want from me, Landon.” Dean said. “I didn’t think there was any kind of opportune time to discuss my recently weird sleeping habits.”

“You could try explaining why.” Landon suggested.

“Would it do any good?” Dean asked. “What could I possibly say to you that would mean anything? You told me how you felt. How I feel isn’t going to trump that, and I know that you don’t want to keep doing this with me. It seemed easier, better, to just keep my stupid mouth shut. The girls needed you, and I’ll be honest, I really wanted to see you again. I won’t lie about that. But beyond that, you and I have too fucked up of a situation for anything I might happen to think to be important right now.”

“And what might you happen to think?” Landon asked him.

“I told you, it doesn’t matter.” Dean said, shutting off the water. “Am I peeling into the sink?”

“No, I don’t have a garbage disposal. Make a pile of the skins and just throw them out.” Landon sighed. “It matters to me, Dean.”

“Why?” Dean turned and looked at him closely. “Aren’t you comfortable in the knowledge that it’s unrequited? Haven’t you accepted that?”

“Not comfortable, no, but I’ve accepted it.” Landon said. “Which is why the whole thing isn’t making sense. What aren’t you telling me, Dean?”

“I don’t tell you everything about my life, Lan.” Dean pointed out.

“For trying to not be a selfish asshole, you’re doing a pretty good job of being a selfish asshole.” Landon told him.

Dean sighed. “I just want things to get better, okay? I want the girls to be happy-”

“You already said this.” Landon shook his head. “Why are you dodging everything I ask you? What the hell is going on with you?”

Dean turned around and started peeling potatoes. “What’s going on is I realized just how bad I screwed everything up.” he said. “And now I’m trying to do something like the right thing here, and for some reason, you can’t believe that I don’t have some ulterior motive.”

“Do you?” Landon asked him.

“Yes.” Dean said. “I do have an ulterior motive beyond wanting to see my girls happy again. But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Omission is lying, Dean.”

Dean snorted and turned around, glaring at Landon. “Hypocrite.” he snapped, and then turned back to the potatoes without another word.

Landon opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, the front door opened and then closed. “Landon?” Bryce called. “You got the couch, huh? It’s nice. You in the kitchen?”

“Oh, fuck.” Landon moaned, covering his face with his hands. “Oh God, why me?”