Love Will Come Through

He woke up after a few hours, when he heard a knock on his door. He first had to think hard what that could be, but he than sat up at once.
‘Come in?’ he said and the door opened. He saw the dark outline of Noreen standing there.
‘I-… I’m sorry-… I was wondering-… have you got some aspirins? I can’t find them in the bathroom’ she said.
‘No, I’ve got them here’ Chris said as he turned on his bed light. He opened the drawer of the desk next to his bed and took out the package. He got out of his bed and walked over to Noreen.
‘Have you got a head-ache?’ he asked her, and she nodded.
‘My face hurts’ she said softly.
Chris felt so terrible sorry for her, so he went to the kitchen with her to get her a glass of water. In the kitchen, he gave her a tablet and the glass.
‘I’ve also got some salve if you want to-… it might stop the bruising’
She shook her head. ‘I’m fine-… I will just take the aspirin’ she took the tablet and drank the entire glass of water. She placed it down on the kitchen sink and crossed her arms tightly around her body, almost shielding herself of.
Oh God -
'I'm really sorry, Noreen' he said on a soft tone.
I really am - You don't deserve it -
She looked away from him again, but spoke: ‘He's yelled at me before - that I had become used to - it still hurt but I could handle it - but this - ' She brought her hand up to where the bruise was and she stopped talking. But Chris kept looking at her, not knowing what to do or what to say to comfort her. All he knew, was that he still liked her. Even with the bruise, she looked absolutely stunning, and he couldn't help but move a bit to her, placing his cold hand that on her red, hot cheek.
'I can't really help you' he said, his hand still on her cheek. 'If anyone finds out you've been here, we could get in serious trouble'
She actually closed her eyes when he placed his hand on her cheek, but she spoke with her eyes closed: ‘I don't want you to lose your job - because of me.’
‘I won’t’ Chris said at once, not retrieving his hand. ‘As long as no-one will find out-… nothing will happen’
Chris could feel her lean against his hand, and he couldn't help but stroke her cheek with his thumb. It went all automatic, and it also felt like he was talking all automatically.
He shook his head lightly. 'If no one finds out, we're safe' he said. He almost didn't notice how close he was to her; he just kept looking at her. 'I just want you to feel comfortable'
Was that honest?
He wasn't lying to her. Chris' curled his lip slightly, but returned to his numb expression, now knowing what he was feeling. He felt the urge. The urge he had had a few times
before when he was this close to her. But this time, he had the feeling she wouldn't mind either. He had touched her a few times, and she had allowed it. He brought in his head but even before he could kiss her, he pulled back, they both gave a start as the microwave give a beep.
It was 3. A.M
He let go of her at once and turned his back to her, and left the kitchen
Oh God, Chris -
You almost did it again -
He knew he couldn't ignore that he had just tried to kiss her again, but he felt to uncomfortable to talk to her about it. He walked back to the sitting room and turned to her again, one hand placed on his hip, and the other one ruffling through his hair, trying to calm his nerves
'Are you - are you alright?' he asked her
Noreen had followed him and smiled slightly at him’ I'm fine - really I am.’ She stopped close in front of him, looking up at him, her arms still crossed tightly around her chest.
Oh God - Please -
A faint smiled appeared on his face as he watched her.
Walk away - Go back to bed - You had promised yourself not to even get out of bed -
'I-… er - ' he said, rubbing his eyes with one hand 'I think it's better to get back to bed'
He thought about what he had just said, knowing it must have sounded odd. He removed his hand and looked at her again. His hand was still in his hair as he looked down at her. She had a weak smile on her face.
Oh hell -
He saw how she came closer, released her arms and placed them on his hips. He could feel how she came close. Chris closed his eyes as he felt her lips touch his.
Oh God - It's her - Now she's kissing me!
He knew he had to pull back, he knew it. But he didn't want to. He placed his hands on her back and pulled her closer to him. Her body touched his, and he felt a shock of nerves and arousal going through his body.
It's no good -
But he couldn't believe how soft she was. Her lips were so pure and so soft. He had never felt anything like this before. It was all new to him. He had never been in love, and now he was. He was in love with one of his students, and they were now kissing.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and began to kiss him more passionate.
This - can’t be true -
After a few seconds of normal kissing, he withdrew his head and buried his face in her neck, sucking her neck. He could hear how she gave a moan. He felt her hands running over his back and he shuddered a bit.
Oh God - She's - . touching me as well -
Without thinking, he bend a bit through his knees and lifted her up, so her legs were wrapped around his waist. He began to carry her back to the bedroom. It still went all automatically, and he knew that if he probably had been more awake, he would never have done this. She wasn't heavy at all. Of course, she was a teen, so she couldn't be too heavy.
And with her figure -
He neared the bed and placed her gently on the bed. He started to kiss her again, feel the hormones he had felt the past days running through his body, and crawled on the bed as well. She was backing away backwards, but their lips were still locked.
Oh - Oh God -
He kissed her for a few minutes, not touching her as he didn't know how far he was allowed to go. But it felt wonderful. He had the feeling he was about to explode because of arousal, but feeling her mouth was just wonderful.
He felt how her hands ran over his back. He shivered. And it was actually she who slipped her hands underneath his hemp first!
He pulled back and looked at her, breathing heavily at her. 'Is this okay?' he asked, placing his hand under her shirt on her stomach. He could feel how she inhaled deeply, probably feeling tense about his hand touching her. She nodded and Chris placed his lips on hers again.
He felt glad she didn't mind. He ran his hand over her bare stomach, hardly able to believe how soft her skin was.
She can't like this - She can't - I'm old - I don't want her to feel uncomfortable - I want her to be comfortable -
He went over to her throat; gently caressing them with his lips
She can't like this - She will think I'm a perverted old teacher - Actually - I am - I'm snogging one of my students -
He kept moving his hand, but when his fingertips brushed past her breast, he pulled back.
'Please' he said. 'Tell me - tell me when you don't want too - '
She had inhaled deeply again as he had touched her breast, but now, she chuckled softly and took his head between her hands.
‘Stop talking’ she said and bit his lip playfully. She laughed at him again before she began to pull up his hemp, while kissing his neck. Chris lifted up her arms, so she took it of. And for the first time in his life, he felt embarrassed. He had never cared what other women thought about his body, but now he did. Not that he was fat, but he actually was rather skinny. He didn’t have any muscles either. Compared to his brother, Chris’ body wasn’t that handsome. He had so many one night stands, that he had gotten used of exposing himself naked. But now, he felt nervous.
She can’t like this - she can’t - I’m old - ugly - she could have so much better -
But he still went on and withdrew his hand that was under her shirt, and pulled up hers. It revealed her breasts, which was something Chris had never seen. Although she was a full grown woman, he had never seen anything like this. He gently placed a hand on one of them and stroked them softly. He could feel how Noreen arched her back, and Chris began to kiss her neck when she did this. When he pulled back, he saw she was blushing slightly, and her eyes were racing over Chris’ face. She was nervous.
He putted his finger under her chin, lifting it up so she could look at him. 'Don't be afraid' he said with a faint smile, and he kissed her lightly on her forehead 'You're perfect' he whispered, and than placed his lips on her décolleté, softly kissing her skin. She lifted up her chest again, pressing her body against his, and Chris kept kissing her where ever he could.
He had no idea what he could expect. He had no idea if she was experienced. And he had no idea what he could expect from himself. This was all new to him either. She was young. He had never had anything with a woman this young. Never.
His hormones were beginning to get disturbing. He tried to ignore them, but it felt like he was about to explode. He felt too aroused to even think clear, and he could feel the pressure in his boxer grow.
Oh god - This must be so - odd for her -
He kept going lower, from her breast to her stomach. He kissed, nibbled and licked it, and once in a while, he heard a moan escape out of her throat. He had reached her the rim of the boxer she was wearing. His boxer. He looked at it and than looked at Noreen.
Would she want to?
He brought up his hand and stroke her hair out of her face. 'Have you ever done this before?' he asked her a bit nervously. He saw how she bit her lip and shook her head.
He stared at her stomach as he thought about it:
Damn - I will hurt her -
He looked back at her, she was supporting herself on her elbows, so Chris crawled back up, her face close upon hers as he looked into her dark eyes.
‘Do you… do you really want to do this?’ he asked. He didn’t dare to be straight. He didn’t dare to ask her whether she was ready for sex.
But she nodded shyly and Chris swallowed hard. ‘Are you sure?’ he asked again. Again she nodded, and this time, she sat up a bit and began to take of his boxer, pulling it down. His manhood was revealed, which was as hard as it was supposed to in moments like these. Chris took it of, but before he went on, he reached out for the drawer next to the bed. He opened it, and took out a condom. If this would be her first time, he could at least do it with one of these. It would be much easier for her. And more important, he didn’t know whether she was using anti conception, and he really didn’t want to make her pregnant!
He putted on the condom his self, and he threw the wrapper on the night desk. He bend back over Noreen, who had just been laying there, waiting for him. Chris gently pulled down the boxer she was wearing, and threw it away. He lay down on top of her again and looked at her for a long time. He was already between her legs, but not even inside. He felt so afraid he would hurt her.
I’d better tell her -
He swallowed, before he could speak: ‘This - this might hurt - a bit’ and he gently pressed into her.
And it probably did hurt, because she gave a loud gasp. Chris himself had given a grunt and placed his hand on her forehead, kissing her gently on her lips.
‘I-I’m sorry’ he gasped as well. He wasn’t able to keep his own voice down, because he was too aroused for that. ‘Do you - do you want me to stop?’
She bit her lips, closed her eyes tightly and shook her head.
'Please - tell me if you want to - to stop' he breathed, and he waited a few seconds before he began to penetrate her.
Having sex with her was the last thing he had expected to happen tonight. Although he hadn’t trusted himself, he had never thought it would have come this far.
He kissed her everywhere he could, and held her tightly as he trusted into her. Suddenly, all the consequences were coming into his mind. If someone found out. If someone only found out. He could get fire. He could get charged. She could be sent away from school. It will be harder for her to continue her education.
He closed his eyes tightly and groaned as he opened them again
Don't think about it -
Not now -
And than, he reached it, his top. It seemed like it had taken hours, but he knew it had only been a few minutes. He gasped, closed his eyes as he felt his orgasm run through his lower body up to his entire body. He shivered. He had no idea if Noreen had already come, but he knew it would be a wonder if she would come her first time. Chris just felt too wasted to go on. He hung his head, trying to catch his breath. Sweat was dripping over his face, and he could feel his glasses gliding down his nose. He felt how she pressed it back onto his head, and his buried his face in her neck, breathing heavily.
‘Chris?’ he heard her say, and he looked up at her. She actually was smiling.
He was still panting, but he smiled back at her. He knew she hadn't come, but that didn't disappoint him. He had expected that.
'Are you - are you alright?' he asked panting.
She nodded, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders to press him down onto her again. He again rested his face in her neck.
No -
‘This is wrong’ he breathed after a few minutes, more saying it to himself than to Noreen. ‘This is wrong-… it should never have happened-…’
‘What is?’ she said, and Chris looked up again, but he didn’t dare to look at her.
‘We-… we shouldn’t’ have done this’
‘But-…I love you’ she suddenly said, and Chris looked at her eyes straight away.
She - what?
‘Please don’t think like that’ she said as she placed a hand on his cheek. ‘I wanted this’
Chris found it hard to think otherwise, but he didn’t want to spoil it all for her. He laid down next to her on his stomach, his arm across her chest and his face in her neck again.
‘A lot of things can happen’ he said softly.
‘Hush’ she said, and she squeezed his shoulder with her hand.
He rubbed his eyes for a moment until he took of his glasses and placed them on the nightstand. When he looked back at her, through his narrowed eyes, he saw she had begun to smile at him.
‘What?’ he asked her with a weak voice.
‘Nothing’ she chuckled softly. ‘You just-… look so different with no glasses on’ and with her free hand, she reached to his face and touched his temples with her fingertips.
The moment she had placed her fingers on his face, he had closed his eyes, and released a deep sigh, which felt as though he was breathing out all of his worries.
He wanted to stay like this forever. He wanted to be in bed with her for hours. He could just lay her with her, and do nothing. Just hold her. He wanted to feel her warmth against his bear body. Her soft legs tangled around his and his arms around her small torso. He could always keep his face buried in her neck, inhaling the scent of her hair.
‘Do you like this?’ she asked while she kept stroking his face.
He nodded and sighed again. ‘Relaxing’ he said weakly. ‘Teachers can have a lot of stress’ and he opened his eyes.
‘So can students’ she said with a mock in her voice.
He looked at her with his eyebrows raised. ‘I know. I once was one, remember?’
She chuckled again.
‘How were you?’ she asked. ‘Your youth-… how was it?’
He raised his eyebrows again. ‘My youth?’ he repeated ‘Well-… not that interesting, actually’
‘Tell me’
‘Well, what is there to tell?’ he asked as he turned around, laying on his back.
‘How were you?’
‘Shy’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, I really was. A bit like you, I suppose’ he added with a grin. ‘I lived on my own when I was eighteen’
‘Already than?’
‘Yes, Paul and I moved out when I left school. We moved to London so I could go to the University’
‘And you lived on your own?’
‘With Paul. He was nine’
‘Why did he go with you?’
He went silent at once, and stared at the ceiling. Would he tell her? Now? Would he tell he her also had a father who wasn’t that pleasant?
But Chris had never been hit by his father. For that time, a beat up was pretty normal. But Chris never saw it as abuse. Not as bad as Noreen’s face was looking right now. His father hadn’t been a pleasant man. He had always been disappointed in Chris. He had always favoured Paul, which actually had bothered Paul, even when he was young. Not many people knew, but Paul had HSP, which meant he was a very sensitive person. Paul had always been able to feel Chris’ mood, and he still was. That was why Chris couldn’t lie to him, Paul would find out sooner or later what was wrong with him. Even when he was very young, Paul had always noticed something had been wrong.
‘Well-…’ He began ‘First of all - I was a punk - and I was more into music and literature-… with actually was a strange combination in that time’ he added quickly. ‘I never did squats by the way’ he also added ‘But our father was a religious person, and I wasn’t. I read a lot, so I had started to believe in something else then God. Evolution’ he added as he saw Noreen’s puzzled face. ‘Also, he wanted me and Paul to be professional football players. I hated football, and so did Paul, so I thought it was time to leave when we could. Paul had always been our father’s favorite because he always did what him was told’
He had spoken it before he had realized it. He hadn’t talked about this to anyone before. Paul knew this of course, so he didn’t have to tell him about it.
‘But it was the religious bit that drove our father and me apart. He was a priest who taught at a boy’s school. He taught them how noble and fantastic the Brits had been in history. I told him he was wrong, and he didn’t accept it of course.’ He chuckled sarcastically. ‘You know what I mean-…’ he added, not wanting to talk more about it.
Noreen only nodded softly.
‘It seems like we’ve got more in common than we thought’ she said, and when he looked at her, he saw she smiled sadly. Chris watched her for a moment, until he asked her:
‘But-… why does your father blame you for-… your mother’s death?’ He knew it would be a hard question, but it was something he really wanted to know. He didn’t understand how a man could blame his daughter for something that couldn’t be her fault.
She shrugged again.
‘He’s always done that’ she said. ‘He was a fine father, until she died’
‘What happened?’ he asked as he turned to his side to face her.
‘She died’ she repeated. ‘He changed after that. He became depressed-… I suppose he needs to get rid of his frustrations every now and than’ she looked sadly at the ceiling this time, before she turned on her side as well, but with her back to him. He shifted so he was closer to her, and spooned against her, his arms wrapped around her.
‘What do you mean?’ he asked.
‘Sometimes he’s fine’ she said shortly. ‘But sometimes he drinks a lot. I think he’s depressed when he does that. He drinks a lot and loses control. He than shouts I’m the woman in the house, so I need to clean up everything. But it’s never good enough for him.’
‘And he never hit you before?’
‘No.’ she said shortly. ‘Not this hard. He only shouts at me, and calls me names. He says I’m useless.'
‘You’re not’ he said.
‘I am’ she suddenly said, and her voice sounded weakly. He lifted up his head to try and look at her face, and saw her eyes were wet with tears. ‘I’m stupid-… just like he says’
‘You’re not!’ he said again. ‘Don’t listen to what he says’
‘I’m so afraid’ she now said, and he was sure she was crying now. ‘I’ve always been afraid of him. But I never thought he would actually hit me. I’ve always been hiding from him when he got drunk. I always stayed in my room when he was drinking’
She went silent, and so was Chris. He felt struck, and didn’t know what to say. She suddenly turned her face to him.
‘Please help me’ she said as she looked at him. She turned over on her side to face him, and held his hands tightly on hers and pressed them against her face. ‘Please-… help me-… I don’t want to be with him anymore. Please let me stay’
Chris looked at her with all the sympathy he had. He hated to give her the truth, but he did so anyway.
‘I’m sorry-…’ he began. ‘I can only give you comfort, although it’s not allowed. You must realize this, Noreen, we just did something illegal’
‘I know’ she said as she looked up at him, her face wet of her tears. ‘But I want you. You’re the only one I will ever feel safe with’
‘How can you know?’ he asked her, feeling uncertain himself. He knew he loved her. He knew he was in love with her. But he knew it would be impossible to share his life with her.
‘I feel it’ she said. ‘I never learned to trust anyone after she died-… you’re the first I trust. You saved me’
‘No’ He said. ‘You saved me’
She blinked a few times before she asked: ‘What do you mean?’
‘I’ve never been in love before’ he said, like he had done so yesterday. ‘I’ve never felt this before. Never.’
She smiled through her tears, and he knew it was the right moment to say: ‘So you’re not that useless’
It made her chuckle and that was what Chris had been hoping for.
‘You’ve done so much for me, Chris’ she said and nuzzled closer to him.
‘I haven’t’ he said as he wrapped his arms around her.
‘You have-… you’re giving me shelter’
‘It’s all I could do’
‘But it’s enough. I’m so grateful’
He kissed her head. ‘I’m glad you came. I would have felt terrible I’ve I would have known you would have gone somewhere else. Now, try to sleep’
‘Thank you, Chris’ she said again, but now sounded more weakly. She went silent, but Chris kept awake until he heard her steady breath. He fell asleep soon after that.