Gravekeeper

Warnings: Angst, Death, necro?

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There were voices murmuring in the background. I couldn’t tell what they were saying. My head swarmed and felt as though it were made of cotton.

I couldn’t think.

It was so bright everywhere, and red. I think my eyes we closed but I couldn’t really tell. The voices were back, speaking in a language I didn’t understand. Where was I?

Everything was so bright.

It was cold now. I shivered but no one noticed. Where did they all go? I was alone and I never felt so alone in my life.

It was getting hard to think again and I let the darkness pull me back into it.

I was so tired…

When I awoke again my mind was in a haze but I was more awake then than I had been before. I felt numb. It was neither warm nor cold and I wasn’t sure if I could even feel temperature at all.

It was so natural not to feel it that I wondered why and how I had ever felt it before. Had I felt it before? Of course I had, I had to otherwise how would I know what temperature felt like at all?

There was metal beneath me. Metal instead of springs or feathered mattresses and I thought that that was weird. Why would someone put me on a metal bed? I didn’t know and it was still hard to think.

I tried to sit up but I found that I couldn’t. There was something blocking me and in the darkness I couldn’t see what that something was. Reaching out I touched it and discovered that it was a metal ceiling. Why would someone put a metal ceiling right there?

There was metal to the sides of me as well, including both above and below me as well. I was in a metal box. Why would someone put me in a metal box? Just where am I anyway?

I tried to call out but my mouth was dry and my voice wouldn’t work. My tongue was dead in my mouth and didn’t move, as though I not longer had the energy for it. It was like I was tired but I wasn’t.

Forcing myself to move I felt along metal above my head and found no seam, no opening. My mind was starting to realize just how wrong this was and I had a sense of dread building up inside of me. Scooting myself down I felt along the bottom with my foot and realized it was a door.

Pressing against it, it didn’t budge and with a growing sense of panic I kicked at it until it flew open and slammed against the wall, which was also metal. Pushing along the top I was surprised to find that my bed had wheels to it and rolled myself out of the metal box.

It was dark, wherever I was, and there were more doors to metal boxes surrounding my own. Something tickled in the back of my mind but I couldn’t quite grasp at it yet. Where was I?

I sat up and swayed as my head swam, clinging to the edge of the bed until I could calm down. It was hard to open my eyes and I realized that they had been taped down. Pulling it off I opened them and blinked several times.

There was no light in here but I could still see everything around me. Eyeing the metal doors I noticed how familiar they looked, but why? Why was it so hard to think?

The dark wood door opened before me and I was lead inside by the mortician. My parents weren’t here with me, but then again they never were so why did it matter now? I shouldn’t see, I couldn’t bear it, but I had to. I had to know that it was real, that he was really gone. Watching it was one thing, to see the monitors flat line and his chest stop moving, but seeing his decomposing body was another.

Opening the metal door the bed was rolled out and on it was a body, modestly covered by a sheet. My mind buzzed as the mortician asked if I was ready and I barely even remembered nodding my head as the sheet was pulled back. There, on that table, was the body of my twin brother, of Derek.

I was in the morgue.

But why was I here? I didn’t remember dying. Images of earlier came to me and I recalled the shots fired and all of the pain that followed. Had I died from those bullet wounds?

Shaking, I pulled myself off of the metal bed and stood on wobbly feet, clinging to it until I could stand properly on my own. My muscles ached in protest and I wondered just how long I had been out. How many days had passed since I was shot? How many hours?

Using the wall as support I made my way to the door and tried to go through it. It wouldn’t budge and I realized it was locked. I tugged and shoved at the door but it remained solidly in place. I wanted out.

Growing frustrated I finally kicked the door with all of my strength and it went flying open, half of it coming off of its hinges. Staring at it for a moment I finally inched my way around it, avoiding touching it. I should not have been able to do that.

In the other room there was the standard mortician equipment and I grimaced while trying to ignore it. Thinking about that stuff possibly having been used on me made me shiver and I tried to put it out of my mind.

There, on the wall, was a large, full length mirror and I hesitated before I moved to stand in front of it. There I froze and stared at what my body had become. Down my chest were surgical cuts in the form of a Y-shaped incision; they had autopsied my body.

Shaking, I brought my hand up to feel the stitches and jerked away as I realized that it was in fact real. I wasn’t seeing things. They had cut me open and did who knows what with my body.

I tried to breathe but realized that I couldn’t. I couldn’t breathe and I hadn’t been breathing since I woke up. What the hell is going on with me?!

Panicking, I looked around for something to hide my naked body in and saw a lab coat of one of the morticians hanging off of the coat rack. Grabbing it I quickly put it on and got out of that room as fast as I could. I needed to see Gravekeeper.

If anyone knew what had happened to me it would be him. Maybe he’d also be able to help me.

Peeking around the door, I made sure no one was there before making my way inside. It was late a night and there was no one around as far as I could tell. Heading through the front door I looked at the streets through the glass to make sure no one was around to see me. The last thing I needed right now was to see me walking around when they obviously thought I was dead.

There was no one there and I was grateful that the morgue didn’t have a security system or I would have set it off when I left. The door had been locked by a simple dead bolt and thumb turn switch, something incredibly easy to get out of, and I didn’t bother trying to figure out how to lock it again. I did close it though; I at least had a mind enough for that.

Looking around everywhere I was paranoid that someone would see me, would recognize me, and that the whole town would come after me like I was Frankenstein’s monster. And maybe I was too. How else did you explain how I had survived an autopsy?

As I quickly moved down the streets, using the less used ones on route to the graveyard, I felt the holes where the bullets had been. They hadn’t been stitched up and I could feel the under layers of my skin inside the wound. It was supposed to creep me out, I knew that, but for some reason it didn’t.

It didn’t bother me at all and I think that’s what disturbed me the most. I was supposed to be bothered by it, wasn’t I? Wouldn’t a live, human body be trying to repair itself by now? Why wasn’t mine?

Was I really dead?

Upon reaching the graveyard I tried to call out for Gravekeeper but my tongue and voice still didn’t work. Why couldn’t I speak? Before I could even think of another way to communicate he appeared in front of me, standing instead of crouching.

There was no warning this time but it didn’t scare me like it usually did. There was just something about him that was comforting. He would protect me.

Brushing a hand against my cheek he looked me over and frowned at what he saw. Parting the coat he trailed his fingers over the stitches and incisions and I fount that I didn’t mind that at all. It felt nice to be touched by him and I wanted more.

Pushing his hand aside I pressed up against him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He felt good and I didn’t want to let him go.

Gravekeeper stiffened beneath me and I could feel how uncomfortable he was with my touch. I didn’t let him go, though, and soon he accepted it with reservation, awkwardly placing his hands on my back.

“You tasted my blood.” It wasn’t a question but I wanted to answer him anyway, I just didn’t know how. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

‘Why?’ I wanted to ask. Why shouldn’t I have tasted his blood, besides from the obvious reasons? Did his blood do this to me? He answered without my having to ask.

“My blood only affects those who are already dead.” He stopped to let me think about that. Was I really dead? Did those bullets kill me?

I wanted to deny it and say that it wasn’t true but I couldn’t deny that the bullet wounds and autopsy scars were real. I was really dead and they really had cut me up. Shuddering, I clung to Gravekeeper and used him as my anchor.

“Death is the most intimate experience one can have. Only the dead can hear me like this.” I looked up at him and realized that he hadn’t been kissing me when he talked. Although his voice was still in my head he didn’t need intimacy of physical touch to communicate.

Finally I understood why it was that he didn’t talk normally. His tongue, his voice must be like mine; dead in his throat. He, like I, couldn’t speak even if he wanted to. The only difference was that I couldn’t communicate telepathically.

I realized I should be a lot more freaked out that I was dead than I actually was but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. I was with Gravekeeper and not much else mattered to me right now. Vaguely I wondered if it was his blood that I had tasted that called me to him now.

Either way I didn’t want to be separated from him and protested when he pulled away. Ignoring me he took my hand and started leading me through the graveyard. I thought we were going to go back to his mausoleum but instead he took me to Derek’s grave. Looking up at him I tried to ask him why he had brought me here and stopped in my tracks.

There, sitting on top of his own grave just like I did was Derek. I started shaking when I saw him. I wasn’t afraid, but I had thought that I would never get to see him again and now here he was, sitting there right before me.

He got up when he saw me and he looked how he did right before he died, right down to the hospital gown and everything.

Derek…

Derek walked up to my and placed his hand on my cheek. I wanted to cry but I found that I couldn’t. My body didn’t have the fluid it needed to maintain my tear ducts.

“Shane, what happened to you?” I was so surprised that I actually could hear him that even if I could respond I wouldn’t have. Had he been here the whole time? Did he hear everything I said to him?

His eyes moved down to my chest and he brushed against my bullet wounds. He looked so sad for me that I wanted to take him into my arms, but I couldn’t. He was a ghost and I still had a solid body.

I wanted so badly to touch him though.

“They shot you, didn’t they.” It wasn’t a question so it didn’t need an answer. He already knew it was the truth. Had he seen the grave robbers as well? Had he been watching as they tried to shoot me the first time?

“What happens now?” This question was directed towards Gravekeeper and I vaguely noticed that they had met and talked together before. Was Derek the reason Gravekeeper had shown himself to me?

“The effects of my blood will wear off and his body will die again.” I was really dead then. If anyone knew about the dead it was Gravekeeper and if he said I was then I had to be. He didn’t seem like the type who would lie to me, or to anyone for that matter.

With Derek he hadn’t lied about him not being here, he hadn’t said anything at all and thus avoided the issue. I couldn’t bring myself to be mad at him because I hadn’t even known he was here myself, not like this at least.

Derek was silent for while and I think I was still in shock from his presence. After a moment he turned back to me and hugged me like I had done to Gravekeeper. I could barely feel him and cursed the fact that I couldn’t even hug him back. Derek.

“I really didn’t want for you to join me so soon. You jerk, after keeping me here for so long you had to go and die on me as well?” I had kept him here…? “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I don’t love you like you love me, but I do love you, Shane. I’m so glad that it wasn’t suicide. I was worried about you there for a while. Still am.”

He knew.

He knew that I loved him as more than a brother. I didn’t know how many shocks one person could take in one day but I was pretty sure I was at my limit. My brain stopped functioning and I couldn’t even think of a coherent response.

Noticing this he gave me a small smile and kissed my forehead. “I always knew, right from the beginning. I didn’t want to let you know because I couldn’t return your feelings. We both had enough to deal with as it was and I wanted you by my side without causing even more pain.

“But Shane, you have to let me go now. I’m dead, we both are, and if you love me you’ll let me go. I don’t belong here anymore.” Derek knew he was being manipulative and showed me that he regretted that but it had to be done. I didn’t know that he had been here with me, that I had caused it. I missed him terribly but I just wanted him to be happy, and if he wasn’t happy here…then I had no choice but to let him go.

“What happens to you, whether you join me now or not is your decision. Something that Gravekeeper can help you decide. And don’t think for a second that I’d rather have you with me than give you a chance to be happy.” He glanced at Gravekeeper and I knew he was talking about him.

“I trust you to make the right decision.” He smiled at me and then nodded at Gravekeeper, letting my go. I wanted to stay with him longer but before I could protest Gravekeeper had taken my hand again and we were surrounded in mist before appearing back inside the mausoleum.

I stared at the stone walls for what felt like forever before turning to Gravekeeper. I felt numb. I didn’t want to be angry with him, I shouldn’t be angry with him, but I was. His job was to protect the graveyard and its residents and if this somehow helped Derek then I shouldn’t be angry with him, right?

Then why was I?

“It’s hard to let someone go if you can see them right there in front of you.” He had probably seen a lot of people dealing with loss, but I bet that none of them had spent as much time in the graveyard as I did. Was I the reason I couldn’t let Derek go?

I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor and stayed there. I had a lot to think about and I didn’t even know where to start.

Derek came first though, he always did. He wasn’t happy being where he is and I was the one that was keeping him here. He had told me himself, if I loved him then I had to let him go.

I have to let him go.

Pulling my knees up to my chest I buried my face in my arms and stubbornly ignored the way it pulled at the skin around my scars. Derek knew I was in love with him and he had rejected me. He had done as painlessly as he could make it but it was still rejection. I didn’t hate him though, I could never hate him.

But, his rejected let both my heart and mind know that I really didn’t have a chance, that even though I loved Derek he didn’t love me, not in the same way. Hanging onto him was just going to cause me more pain. He trusted me to do the right thing and I had to do it.

I have to let him go.

If I kept repeating this I hoped that my mind would accept it as final. It would be selfish for me to keep him here just because I couldn’t move on. Depression circled around me for a long while before I was finally able to give him what he wanted. I started to let him go.

It was hard, probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do aside from watching him die, but it was what he wanted. And I had never been very good at denying him what he wanted.

Gravekeeper shifted and moved about but I didn’t pay him any attention. My heart felt like it was breaking and I wondered just how that was possible when I was already dead.

Weren’t the dead supposed to be freed from pain…?

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Author’s Note: Gravekeeper’s blood took over once Shane died and reanimated him as a zombie like creature. Rigor Mortis was not allowed to set in and Shane’s body is not decomposing. I’ll try to incorporate this info into the next chapter.

And someone tell me if there were any errors! DX

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Tall Tree-san: I know, I hate it when people stare. But even I have to admit I’d glance at Shane if I saw that news report.

oo: I really tried to ignore the story and focus on the charges made against them, but really, some heteros are just creepy. I like Gravekeeper too and now those two are stuck together. ^_^

JJay: Thanks for the review, I love getting them.

midnightsweet: I’m glad you liked it enough to think about it so much!