Rift. (Rewritten in 2010)

Summer, Year Two (6th Moon)

It was thirty-five days later, and although much time had not passed since Damon's disappearance, the seasons had already changed twice. The lingering icy white of winter had given over completely to bursts of green and yellow, which had in turn yielded to the pinks and blues and whites of full summer. In the Alpha quarters, Alex had just left the rooftop garden for the sitting room, where he settled down next to the picture windows with a book of Wolfish history and regretted that he hadn't done anything with his morning. Unexpectedly, then, there was a knock on the door.

Trying not to spill his coffee as he stretched, Alex reached over to the nearest keypad to authorize entry, and the door slid open to reveal Damon, standing uneasily in the doorway in a t-shirt and thin hospital pants and looking back over his shoulder. Alex stared in surprise for a moment, then waved him in - his left wrist was wrapped, and when he looked anxiously up at Alex, who still regarded him in shocked silence, it was out of a black eye in a cut and bandaged face.
"I thought about what you said." he offered, dryly.
"Looks like you've had a lot to think about." Alex rejoined. “Come in. Fuck. You look terrible.”
Damon glanced once more over his shoulder, then entered. Alex led them away from the door and prying ears and farther back, into the private sitting room Garron had set up for him adjacent to the bathing area. Damon settled gingerly into one of the lush, soft chairs while Alex busily made a tray of ice water, hot coffee, and leftover biscuits for them in the small kitchen.
“I can't believe you're back.” he prattled on, nervously, from the other room. “It's almost like looking at a dead man. Kriston wouldn't even speak your name while you were gone – we had no idea what had happened to you. And so many humans have died since the Rift, I just thought maybe – maybe they had let you go somewhere. Left you, or something.”
Alex brought the tray in and set it on the low table between them.
“We all had thought it was impossible, but then you disappeared, and we thought maybe – maybe wolfes cankill their mates, maybe - ”
Alex cut himself off, feeling silly and histrionic. Damon quirked one corner of his mouth.
“That must have been terrifying for you.”
Alex flushed a little.
“We were mostly worried about you.”
Damon nodded politely and took his cup of coffee. Silence passed. Alex raked his eyes over his friend, trying to catalogue every injury – a left arm that he favored, a slight limp at the right hip, a scar on the chin where there hadn't been one before. Damon sipped his coffee, taking his time before he spoke. His golden eyes were shuttered and distant. Eventually, he set the mug down.

“You were right.” he said without ceremony, then lifted the glass of ice water and pressed it to his temple, against one particularly ugly bruise. “They at least,” he said, wincing as the coldness made contact, “At leasttaught me that much in Recovery.”
Alex's heart thumped unevenly in his chest. Damon squeezed his eyes tightly closed as he rolled the glass along the bruise, leaving a trail of moist droplets along his skin.
“You were in the BRC?” Alex asked, unnecessarily. Damon nodded.
Abruptly, his eyes opened and he set the glass down, then looked searchingly up at Alex.
'I was rude to you before. I know that. I regret it, and I'm sorry.” his brow creased, momentarily, then he went on, urgently, “But I hope you'll try again.”
Alex exhaled.
“You want my help?”
Damon nodded, eagerly.
“Yes. You...get it. You get them – the wolfes. You understand them in a way that I don't – at least not yet. But I want to.” he looked imploringly up at Alex. “So?”
“So.” Alex said, his coffee steaming up between them.
Damon looked up again, and those beautiful golden eyes looked so desperate and so lost.
“So will you teach me?”
Alex quietly eyed Damon. There was something different about the younger human now, post-BRC. Whatever had happened there had altered him, it seemed – at least superficially. He appeared no longer the brash, headstrong, and at times admirably courageous dissident who'd disappeared more than a month ago. There seemed to be a fundamental reshaping which had gone on; a transformation even deeper than the simple change of convictions about past behavior that he professed. Damon seemed...stripped, somehow, of that determined self-certitude that had given him spirit before. Gone was the maverick spirit, gone was the insolent wit, gone was almost every measurable trace of rebellion. The man who sat across from him now, drinking ice water and quietly wondering what was taking Alex so long to answer, seemed to be nothing more than a very respectful, very nervous, very expressionless human being.

The realization of this frightened Alex on a deeper level than he was prepared to admit. So it was with slow deliberation that he decided to agree.
“Of course I will.”
The relief in Damon was palpable.
“But, um, could I ask a favor first?” Damon began, crumbling a biscuit nervously between his fingers, “I need to get rid of these.” he said, indicating his bruised face. “Kriston can't see them. Please.”
Alex was suspicious immediately.
"Why not? What happened, Damon? How'd you get them?"
Damon looked sheepish.
"It was nothing. I got into a fistfight when I was leaving Recovery – the BRC didn't make any official note of it, since I'd been so good during my time there. I have a spotless record, and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't want Kriston to think ill of me. Please?"
Alex raised an eyebrow, but assented.
"Fine. But no more fighting, right?"
Damon nodded amenably and Alex disappeared into the other room. When he returned, he was holding a small round device in his hand.
"If you tell anyone that I have this, it'll be your head and mine. Do you understand?" Damon nodded again, and Alex stood in front of him and took his chin in hand. "Hold still. This kind of burns a little."
Alex drew the device slowly over Damon's bruises, pleased to see them fade beneath his touch; he did the cuts next, closing then fading them, and the bandaged wrist he did last.
After a while, he stopped and shut off the device, its mechanical whirr quieting.
"I couldn't get the bruise by your eye completely - I don't want to blind you with this thing. But it looks OK, just a little dark around some bits."
"Thanks." Damon peeled the sticky bandages from around the places where there were once wounds.
“So how long have you been back?”
“I just got back today.” Damon answered, and glanced at him.
“And Kriston hasn’t noticed those yet?”
“Kriston hasn’t seen me yet.”
“Well, who brought you back?”
“The guards and I came to an agreement.” he said, coolly.
“What – "
“It’s nothing. Not why I’m here.”
Alex looked quizzically at Damon, confused by the sudden change of attitude.
“Damon – “
“Please, Alex. I can’t talk about it.” The words were almost whispered, and the look in Damon’s eyes was pleading. Alex let the subject drop.
“Alright. Well, when do you want to get started on this wolfe thing, then? Before you see Kriston, I presume?”
Damon nodded.
“Well, yeah. I sort of had some questions that I wanted to ask you before I go back.”
“OK.”
“Well, they’re sort of – um, embarrassing.”
Alex shrugged.
“I don’t get embarrassed.”
“Well," Damon began, looking distinctly awkward, "In Recovery, they made us learn stuff - all the Wolvish laws and the Beta Code, but they didn't teach us anything...biological."
Alex furrowed his brow.
“Biological?”
Damon exhaled.
“Yeah, like...you know, things about particular parts of wolfes.”
Alex just blinked at him, and Damon sighed in frustration and got redder. "What I mean is – well, how does - well, who - how do you - how does it work?" Damon finally managed.
"How does what work?" Alex asked, perplexed.
"You know." Damon made a vague, but vulgar motion with his hand.
"Sex?" Alex asked, in surprise.
Damon nodded, his brown skin flushed.
"That whole... thing."
Alex arched an eyebrow.
“You and Kriston haven't ever...?”
Damon looked sheepish.
“No. I got too scared, every time. And then he got mad at me, eventually. And then I got mad, and it just never happened.”
Alex reflected on this. Three months with an ostensible mate and no sex in sight? No wonder the wolfe had seemed so damn frustrated.
“Well, you have to have sex with your mate. You need to have sex with your mate. That's number one. You can't just go three months for no good reason without it. That's only going to cause you problems.”
Damon looked really embarrassed now, and he kept breaking off pieces of biscuit and not eating them.
“I know that! I mean, I'm going to. I know I have to.” he took another sip of ice water. “But I don't know how it works.”
Understanding shot potently through Alex, and he almost laughed out loud, restraining himself only because he feared embarrassing Damon more than he already (inadvertently) had.
“Damon,” he asked, slowly, “Are you a virgin?”
The younger human flushed and went back to picking over biscuits.
“Pretty much.”
“Really?!”
Damon nodded, and Alex couldn't restrain the gleeful laugh he let out. Damon looked up at him, chagrined.
“Sorry.” Alex raised a placative hand between chuckles, “Sorry. It's just it's been so long since I met a twenty-something virgin - I think you might have been the only one left in the Underground.”
Damon's shoulders relaxed a little, and he even managed a wry little smile.
“Well, there isn't much to do when you're on the move down thre: eat, sleep, pray, and fuck.”
Alex snorted his coffee in laughter, glad to see some of Damon's personality peeking through the BRC facade.
“And which did you engage in?” he asked, amusedly. Damon grinned shyly.
“Mostly sleeping, second praying. My father was the damma for our clan. Our family was expected to be the most holy of all.” he wrinkled his nose a little. “And in my colony, you’re definitely not supposed to do thatunless you've been married AND gotten clan approval. So there was no way I was going up against my dad and all the elders. And also, in my clan, my father was rumored to have the power to curse those who displeased him. So there was no way anyone would take the risk of messing with me.”
Alex looked at Damon with interest. He'd never heard the young man speak of where he'd come from; all Alex knew was that he'd been living in a nomadic underground human colony when Kriston had found him. Damon had trailed off, though, and didn't seem inclined to return to the thought. Alex looked down and saw that Damon's hands, clenched around the glass of water, were shaking.
“I don't know if I can do this.”
Alex reached out and laid a hand over one of Damon's.
“You'll like it. I promise.”
Day shook his head vigorously.
"I don't just mean sex. I mean the whole thing." he stared bitterly down at his reflection in the water. "I want to go home."
Alex sympathized with the man on a deeper level than Day would ever know, but he also knew that nostalgia would get them nowhere, and that the afternoon was slipping quickly by.
"Come on, Damon," he said gently, "Let's get back to business. Let's talk wolfes. Let's talk mating."
Damon still looked off-kilter, but he answered,
“OK.”
“Great. Well, I think you probably already know more than you think you do about wolfes. And about mating. But just in case, I'll start from the beginning.” Alex polished off his coffee and took a bite of a biscuit. “Mating is the physical aspect of a bonding, but the two are so closely correlated for wolfes that the terms are sometimes interchanged. The bonding is the acceptance of a commitment, the establishment of a spiritual or metaphysical connection in the bonded pair, and the physical act of mating, all mixed in together.”
Damon drank some more water, then spoke.
“OK. And Kriston will want...both?”
Alex nodded, firmly.
“Yes.”
“So what's the first thing I do? Mate him?”
Alex nodded again, more slowly this time.
“That would be about the size of it.”
“He's big.” Damon blurted, suddenly.
Alex gave a little half-grin.
“You'll be fine. But you'll have to let him take you once, to Change you, before you mate.”
Damon chewed on his lip and frowned.
"Yeah, I keep hearing about this Change, but no one's really been straight with me about what it is. All I know is that he...lies with me, and that it does something, to something inside of me. And then I change. That's it."
Alex made a mental note to dress down Garron for improperly educating the betas in his Pack.
“You hybridize.” Alex said, simply, wanting to get straight to the point. “His genes get in you and they make you...a hybrid.”
Damon looked utterly alarmed.
“A half-wolfe?!”
Alex shook his head.
“No...more like a half-female.”
Understanding dawned on Damon and his expression changed from expectant to confused to horrified to vaguely nauseous.
“A hermaphrodite??” he squeaked.
Alex shrugged.
“If that's what you want to call it.” he swallowed the biscuit half he'd been chewing and brushed crumbs from his fingers. “I'm not going to lie to you: it hurts like hell the first two days or so, but they give you drugs so you mostly don't feel it. Then, once it's mostly completed, those last few days, it's just...weird." Alex looked back to Damon, whose face read sheer disgust.
"This is...not OK.” Damon said, eventually, in a weak expression of his feelings.
Alex tilted his head and looked sympathetic.
"I felt that way at first, too, but now that it's over and done with, it's...not that bad. It's not anything different than what they've been trying to do in the Underground for years, really, and I signed up to be an experimental carrier when I was 16. This solution is actually quite a bit more elegant than anything our doctors have produced.”
Damon still looked a little shellshocked.
“But this is...it's permanent, isn't it?”
Alex gave Damon a wan, understanding smile and agreed.
“Yes. It's permanent.”

~~~

Their lessons continued into the afternoon, in the bathing rooms of the Alphas' Suite. Alex had insisted that there was no way Damon could greet his mate looking like that, and had coaxed him into the steamy rooms with promises of beautification.

Inside the private bathing rooms, Alex stripped immediately, but Damon hung back a little. Shamelessly nude, Alex turned to look at his friend, who had shifted just slightly away and was slowly untying his pants. He twisted to try to get a difficult knot out, and Alex caught sight of the full picture.
“Fuck, Damon!” he cried out, almost reverently.
Terrified eyes snapped around to meet his.
“Please don’t tell Kriston! You can’t tell Kriston, OK? Don't tell Kriston, please. Please don’t tell him, Alex, please!” Terror was turning quickly to hysteria.
“Damon, it’s ok, I won’t tell him, it’s ok, it’s ok.” Alex raised two hands to Damon in surrender, soothing him. “But what happened to you?”
Damon twisted to try to see himself in the mirror and caught only a glance, but knew how terrible it must look. His back was peppered with bruises, so many that they were innumerable, spreading across his skin like leopard spots. He whimpered a little, involuntarily.
“In Recovery...” he began, “The guards, they –“
He stopped, eyes wide, unable to speak about what had happened, either out of fear or conditioning or some kind of misplaced loyalty - Alex didn't know which. Damon glanced up at the other human; his golden eyes were glistening with tears. “They did it.”
Alex shook his head and reached out an arm for Damon's shoulder.
“It’s OK. Come on, it’s OK. Words, what did they do to you, Damon?”
“I just – I had to get out, I had to! I hated it there, and I couldn't stay there, and it was awful and dark and worse than the Louts, I swear it was worse than the Louts.” Damon sobbed.
“Fuck. I know. I know. It's over now.” Alex comforted him. “Come on, let’s get you fixed up, OK? Let's get you cleaned up before your mate gets home.” Alex told him, surprised to hear the agitation in his own voice.
Damon wiped his eyes as Alex retrieved his healing device and they moved from the side room into the main bathing hall. The hot baths were a small pool, constantly steaming, and they both lowered themselves in, Damon more gingerly than Alex.
There was silence for a moment before Alex spoke.
"So is this the agreement you came to?”
Damon swirled the water to distract himself.
“Part of it.”
“And the other part?”
Tears welled up in Damon’s eyes again, but he bit his lip to punish himself and they stopped.
“I had to do things for them. For the guards. To get out on good behavior.”
“What things?” Alex inquired, his voice equal parts gentle and demanding, and Damon realized that he was no longer talking to Alex the Friend; this was Alex the Alpha's Mate now, a leader and the Champion of Betas in the Pack. Damon shook his head.
“I don't want to get in trouble.”
Alex's voice got more stern.
“Get in trouble? For what?”
“They said - “ Damon hesitated. “They said they would revoke my release.”
Alex's eyes narrowed.
“They lied. You're not going anywhere.”
“But - “
“I am the Alpha Mate, and I won't let you.” Alex interrupted, effectively ending that line of argument.
Damon stared firmly down at the water.
“I'll get in trouble.” he repeated, mostly to his reflection.
Alex wanted to growl in frustration like Garron did.
“Listen to me. You're about to get in even bigger trouble.”
Damon looked up, sharply.
“You said you wouldn't tell!”
“I said I wouldn't tell Kriston.” Alex corrected. Damon gaped at him. “I'm sorry, but you need to talk to me. Maybe we can resolve this without getting Kriston involved, or without going to the Council. But I can only promise that if you talk to me.”
Damon teared up again.
“But it wasn't even – nothing happened, Alex.” he protested.
Alex crossed his arms over his chest.
“Something obviously did. And if it happened to you, then it will happen to another human.” Alex leaned in closer to Damon. “Is that what you want? For whatever happened to you to happen to someone else?”
Damon stared, wide-eyed at Alexei, then finally looked away.
“They made me...service them.”
Alex shook his head.
“I don’t know what that means.”
Damon disguised his humiliation by rinsing his face in the water.
“They made me use my mouth, to –“
“Oh. Fuck.” Alex thought, then asked, “How many of them?”
“Please don’t tell Kriston!” Damon interrupted, fear making him hysterical again. “Please, Alex, please, please, please don't, please!”
“How many?” Alex repeated. Damon bit his lip.
“Five.”
“You have to tell Kriston.”
If there was an expression beyond abject terror, Damon had it.
“No! No! Alex, no! He'll hate me, I know he will! He'll hate me and he'll reject me and no one will have me because they'll know what I am.”
Alex couldn't let this one pass without further inquiry.
“What are you?” he probed, tenderly.
Tears spilled across Damon's face.
“I'm a whore.”
Alex was stunned.
“For fuck's sake, Damon, you're a virgin.”
“But not - “ he made a desperate noise and rubbed at his eyes to clear them. “But not because I'm good. Just...because nobody wanted me.” his breath hitched. “And when – when they offered, they said 'Do this and we'll let you go' and I just...did it. I just went, and that's – that's something whores do, I don't – they're going to tell my mate, Alex, and then he'll know and he'll reject me – my mate will reject me!”
It occurred then, to Alex, that Damon might be the most pathetically confused individual he'd ever met in his life. It was understandable; to be raised in a cutoff clan in the Underground, an isolated enough place as it was...and then to be abandoned, and snatched from that reality into this world, where everything was different, and he was alone again...
“Damon.” he said, finally. “That is shit. That is utter shit. That will not happen. Kriston will never reject you.”
“He will! It was stupid and wrong and I was - “ his breath hitched again, and he whimpered, “I’m a whore.” Tears were flowing freely now.
Alex shook his head.
“You're not, never were, and never will be. And whoever told you that deserves whatever they have coming to them.” Alex paused, not liking this next part any more than Damon would. “But we're going to have to go to Kriston.”
“OK.” Damon agreed, finally. “OK. OK. But just...later, please? Can we? Can we just...” he ran wet hands over his face again, trying to clean himself up. “Can we just finish talking for now?”

Feeling that Damon had probably already been through enough for one day, Alex decided to concede this point, and he settled himself into a seat in the warm baths, halfway under the water.
“Where should I begin?”
Damon sniffled.
“Just finish, with mating.”
Alex wasn't so sure that was a good idea, but upsetting Damon more seemed like a worse one.
“OK. Mating.” he leaned back in his stone seat, thinking. “So once every wolvish year, which equates to about 19 months on Earth, a wolfe goes into season. Every wolfe's season comes at a different time, and it's a little different for each of them. They all know when it's coming, though - they can feel it and they can smell it, and after a while, you'll be able to tell, too. Their behavior changes, grows more aggressive. And the sex is incessant.”
Damon listened with terrified interest, standing across from Alex.
“I don't know if I can do this, Alex.” he admitted abruptly. Alex found some shampoo by the side of the bathing pool and nicked it for both of them, continuing pointedly on as if the confession of weakness had never occurred.
"Now, Season has the potential to be the best nine days of your life, or the worst. That all depends on your ability to recognize the signs, plan, and prepare. You'll need to stock food and any other necessities – he won't be letting you out of his sight for almost any reason – and if you're not ready to carry yet, then you'll definitely want to talk with your mate so that you can see the doctors beforehand and make sure it doesn't happen.”
Damon nodded and dipped his hair into the water to soak and lather it.
“I think, um, that Kriston wants me to carry right away.” he said, distractedly trying not to get shampoo in his eyes.
Alex paused to wring the water out of his own tousled, dark hair.
“Is that what you want?”
Damon hesitated.
“I don't know.” he said, then, by default, “I want whatever my wolfe wants.”
Alex carefully kept his face neutral.
“I see. Well, in that case, don't worry about it.”
“Are you, um - “
“Carrying?” Alex interrupted him. “No.”
Damon frowned.
“When will you?” he asked, almost rudely.
Alex pinkened around his ears.
“I don't know, Damon. We've been trying for five months now. These things don't always happen on a schedule, you know.” he added, more sharply than was necessary.
Damon sensed he'd tread on tender ground, and stopped his questions. He pulled away from Alex, swirled some water around him, and leaned back to dip his thick, springy head of unbraided hair in the water to rinse it, trying to think of a way to change topics.

“So how do I act?” Damon asked, soon. Alex frowned.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that, for example, I know what the Seventh Order defines as good behavior for a beta, but not how to..."
Alex cocked his head.
"How to?"
"How to do it."
Alex blinked.
"I'm sorry?"
"You know. Everyday stuff.”
“I’m not following.”
Damon ran a hand over his hair and mussed it.
“Like, I know that a good beta is respectful, always, to his mate and his elder wolfes. But I don't know exactly what respectful behavior is. And because I don't know if I'm being respectful or not, I don't know if I'm going to get in trouble or not. And since I can't predict, I can't...change my behavior to change his.”
"So...you want to learn how to manipulate him?"
"No! I just want to learn...to adaptively negotiate."
Alex smiled a little. At least the BRC hadn't taken all of Damon's personality away.
“OK.” he said. “Right. Well, the first thing you should remember is that wolfes love attention. The more attention, the better. So get up to greet him. Always. Maybe kiss him or something. They like that." Damon raised an eyebrow. "They like to feel like you miss them when they're gone." Alex further explained. Damon accepted this.
"Wolfes are more driven by instinct than humans can ever experience or understand. So play into it. Express loyalty. Makes them feel secure. Exhibit dependency on their leadership. Wolfes need constant reassurance of their place within the pack hierarchy. Never challenge your mate openly. Oh, and their pups are extremely important. Shower their pups with attention, and they’ll return it to you tenfold.”
At the mention of pups, Damon looked particularly anxious, but he swallowed it.
“OK.”
"And if you're ever in doubt, just put one hand to your stomach. Or sit down."
Damon's expression quickly became befuddled.
"I'm sorry?"
"Putting one hand to your stomach will be a subtle reminder that you might be carrying his pups. He won't come near you in anger then. And sitting down makes you appear smaller and therefore less of a threat. Didn't I tell you these wolfes run on instinct?"
Damon half-smiled.
"Got it. What else?”
“Keep the meat locker full. You can ask the attendants to do that for you, but make sure to ask them on a regular basis. A hungry wolfe is a grumpy wolfe.”
Damon nodded.
“Anything else?”
“Remember who you are.” Alex said, looking directly at Damon now. “Remember that you're the Alpha's Mate.” he frowned. “A lot of people – a lot of humans are counting on you now. You have a responsibility to them, as well as yourself, because you have a chance to do things they cannot do – namely, effect change in their stations by changing the Alpha's attitude and convincing him to change the Beta laws.” Alex leaned forward, peering more deeply into Damon. “Don't ever forget your obligation to the humans of this pack. They're your people now.”
Damon swallowed, once again feeling far in over his head and overwhelmed with the weight of it all. But he would bear it, just as he always had.
“So on a more practical note,” he began, changing topic and tone, “What do humans wear around here, anyway? Wolvish clothes?" Damon had noticed that the wolfes themselves tended to wear loose fitting pants, shoulder hanging robes, and no shirt. They would wear more if required, but also seemed to take every possible opportunity to go about nude. Alex appeared to dress as any other human he'd met.
"You can. Traditional human clothes are harder to come by, and wolvish designs are usually more comfortable, but really - wear anything you want." Alex shrugged. "There's no dress code here." he added ironically. Damon nodded, seeming to take all this very seriously.
"Anything else I should know?"
"Try to show some favor for the outdoors - they love that." Alex thought again. "I suppose that's enough for now."
"It's a lot."
"You'll remember."
Alex heaved himself out of the water, padding across the stone tiles and returning with warm towels for both of them. Dried and dressed, the pair went back into the front sitting room.
“So do you think you’ll be able to get by?”
Damon nodded.
“No more fighting.”
“No more fighting.” Alex agreed, then added, “And remember that we have to talk to Kriston.”
Damon hesitated again, but Alex pressed him. “For the other betas,” he said, urgently, “We have to talk to him.”
As if on cue, the front door to the quarters opened, and in breezed Garron, followed closely by Kriston. Damon sucked in a breath and turned to Alex, who smiled encouragingly. Kriston saw his mate and started, looking surprised.
"You're back."
Damon nodded, and his hand went immediately to his face before he remembered that his bruises were gone.
"Hello." Then, hastily, "Alpha." Kriston raised an eyebrow of interest at the address, but remained where he was, guarded. Damon chewed his lip for a moment, unsure. Alex prodded him, and he stood to approach his mate, eyes lowered in submission. Garron watched the scene in silent curiosity. Damon, now flush against his wolfe's chest, stood on his tiptoes, silently asking for a kiss. Kriston obliged happily, drawing his mate into an embrace. It was rough, and Damon did all he could not to pull away. Kriston seemed pleased and kissed him again, more gently now, taking his time with his mouth. After several minutes, Garron cleared his throat conspicuously and Kriston ended the kiss.
"What?!" he demanded, crossly. Garron laughed and sat down on the couch next to Alex.
"We just came to see if you felt up for a walk. It's such a nice day out. Would you like to come?" Garron's gaze slid from Alex over to Damon. "Either of you?" Damon looked up, first at Garron, then to Kriston.
"I can go out?" he asked, uncertainly.
Kriston considered, then nodded.
"If you'll behave."
Damon nodded vigorously.
“I'll be good, Alpha.”
Kriston gifted him with an indulgent smile.
"Yeah. We'll go." Alex interjected, sensing that this scene could go on for some time. “Just give us a little while to dress and we'll meet you in the gardens."
Garron nodded and stood to leave. Kriston followed him. Once they were gone, Alex got up and went to the wall of closets. Damon, however, remained glued to the chair he'd been seated in.
"I can go out." Damon repeated the words to himself, a little afraid that they weren't yet going to come true. "It's daytime." Alex glanced up at the catatonic man, then out at the sunlit day.
"Yes."
Damon looked up at Alex in awe.
"I haven't been outside in seventeen years, Alex. Well, before I got lost." he stared out of the window. "And never in the bright sun."
Alex paused in his search through the closet and looked at his friend.
"Well, today's your lucky day."
"What does it feel like?" Damon asked, getting to his feet and coming out of his stupor.
"You'll know in ten minutes. Now here," Alex threw a shirt over his shoulder in Damon's direction and continued looking. "Put this on." Damon held the article up and examined it.
"I can't wear this."
"Why not?" Alex turned to look at him. "You should be able to fit it."
"Not if I want to breathe."
"Just put it on. He'll love it."
As it so happened, he did love it, and Damon spent the better part of the afternoon fighting to keep it on.

~~~~~

The following week, the group had gathered again for nightmeal. At their table in the dining room, Alex was seated next to Damon, and at the earliest opportunity, he leaned over to whisper to him. Kriston and Garron seemed to be engrossed in conversation, but Alex cast a cursory glance at them anyway.
"So??" he elbowed Damon. Day rolled his eyes and checked to be sure Kriston hadn't heard.
“So?” he responded.
“So did you lose that pesky virginity of yours yet?” Alex teased.
"I'll let you know." Damon rolled his eyes. Alex looked a little disappointed.
"Oh. I thought maybe since you'd returned - "
"It's barely been a week since then! Give me some time." Damon defended himself. Alex frowned.
"Moody, aren't we."
"I don't like talking about this."
"Don't talk - do."
"I will when I am ready."
Alex examined Damon for a moment.
"Kriston really does care about you, you know. Adores you, in fact, and he's awfully patient for a slicer."
Damon took another sip of his drink and pouted.
"I know, but ... I just can't. Not yet."
"Not even once? I was the same way when I first got here, but if you care for him, and he cares for you, what's the problem? You know he's dying to have you, and I've seen the way you look at him when he moves; you know you want it too."
Damon just shrugged, took a sip of his drink, and sat back, crossing his hands sagely in his lap.
"No. I don't. The whole Change thing – you know, it just freaks me out."
Alex took a longer sip of his drink.
"Is it the Change thing that freaks you out, or the sex thing, Damon?"
Day turned red and poured himself some wine, carefully not answering the question. Alex frowned.
“You need to tell him what happened at the BRC.”
Damon made a face of disbelief and downed his wine in one gulp, then refilled the glass.
“No. It's not that.”
“Then what is it?” Alex probed. "Everyone's scared the first time, Day. But Kriston won't hurt you."
There was a pause while Damon shifted and took several nervous sips, rolling the glass between his fingers. When he spoke, his voice was so plaintive that it bordered on whiny.
"But Kriston, he's...big."
"Damon, don't be silly. Listen to me: you will be fine." Alex told him, firmly. Damon quieted again, somewhat reassured.
"Maybe. We'll see."
"First Alpha Mates?" a quiet voice attracted their attention, and a nervous-looking young human waiter bowed before Damon and Alex and placed two plates of food on the table. Damon wrinkled his nose.
"What is it?"
"Game feline, sir." the boy bowed and disappeared once more, leaving Damon to stare in shock at Alex.
"Kitty cat?"
Alex shrugged.
"Bon appetit."

~~~

Damon was silent as he and Kriston took the long, winding path back to their wing. Try as he might not to worry about it, the idea of mating, of being changed, still hung heavy in his mind. He and Kriston's usual security detail followed 6 or 7 yards behind, and Damon kept glancing back nervously at them, feeling paranoid that everyone knew his thoughts, the source of the weird tension between he and his mate. Passing large windows in the upper halls, he caught glimpses of the moon on the grass outside, and wanted to go for a night walk, but knew there was no way the guards or his mate would permit that. It had been so long, it seemed, since he'd gone for just a walk alone. Damon lost himself in memories, and the wolfe noticed his mate's silence.
"Are you alright, little one? You didn't eat at nightmeal."
"I wasn't hungry."
"Do you feel OK?"
"I'm fine."
"You seem tired."
"I am."
Kriston brightened.
"Do you want to go to bed?"
Damon considered the offer, and the tone in which it had been delivered.
"I think I'll take a shower."
"Oh." Kriston looked a little dejected. "I'll go and walk the perimeter with Garron, then." They reached the door to their wing, and Kriston turned back down the hall. “Back in a bit."
Damon nodded, grateful for a the vacation from his wolfe's presence.

At the door to Kriston's quarters, the guards stopped and took their usual posts. Damon let himself in quickly, and headed straight for the bathing rooms, hoping no one else would be there. Usually, he preferred to go when Alex or one of the attendant would be around, but right now he needed time alone, just to think things over and make his decisions. To reconcile with himself the fact that he had no choice but to become a wolfe's bonded mate.

In the showers, he stood under the gushing hot water and tried to figure things out. His colony wouldn't have approved, that was for certain. Wouldn't have approved of the pagan ritual of bonding, wouldn't have approved of sex outside of the sacrament of marriage, wouldn't have approved the inherent treachery involved in bedding down with the greatest enemy the humans had ever known. Some of the things he'd been told about the Wolfish Empire was wrong , he knew that and had seen it for himself when he'd first arrived here. But all of it couldn't be wrong, could it? The wolfes were still wild things, creatures not of this earth, and enemies of the natural lives of man. Weren't they?
And the sex was another issue. Sex, he'd always been taught, was something reserved for marriage, not the passing interest of animal mating. Damon rubbed his temples. But maybe it wouldn't be like that? Kriston said it wouldn't be like that? And the BRC had been very insistent that mating was a requirement, not an option in his type of position. Even Alex seemed to have joined forces with them and told him to just go for it. And Damon himself knew that although Kriston had accepted his return easily, securing his position would require some sort of token of commitment to a life here. It was, then, through this line of consideration that Damon found himself irrevocably drawn to the conclusion that he was going to have to do it. Alex had also told him about Season, and that lit another fire under Damon's decision. Because he had no idea when Kriston's next one might be, it seemed that he had only two choices: either come to Kriston on his own terms now, or be taken by force later. Better this way than the one he preferred not to consider. It shouldn't matter anyway; humans in ColdRiver acted as if sex wasn't such a big deal, and maybe they had it right. It still felt strange. He shut his eyes and let the water run across his face.

~~~~~

Damon stepped out of the bathroom nude, thinking his wolfe must still be off checking the perimeter with Garron. He jumped two feet backwards,then, when he entered the bedroom to find Kriston lying naked on the bed, grinning mischievously.
"Holy-" Damon snatched up his towel, covered himself, and dashed back into the bathing rooms. Kriston's laughter chased after him.
"I've seen you like this before, pup! What's there to hide?"
Damon didn't respond, just flushed and dressed quickly in the safety of the linen storage. When he reappeared, Kriston was still waiting for him, the amusement fading slowly from his face, replaced by a more focused interest. As soon as Damon got close enough, Kriston swept him up in a kiss and laid him down on the bed. They broke apart and Kriston sat back to admire Damon, who squirmed at the attention.
"I missed you. I'm glad you're back." the wolfe told him, and the barest hint of delight appeared on Damon's face before he hid it. Kriston kissed him again, longer, his hands caressing Damon's sides, lifting his shirt to stroke gently over the places where he'd been hurt before.
"Words, but you're beautiful."
Suddenly he stopped his caresses, fingers hovering just above the skin where a heretofore-uncharted bruise had appeared.
"What happened here?"
Damon tensed as he realized that there were marks Alex had missed and pulled his shirt down.
"I slipped into the pool at Recovery." Day pulled away, and Kriston let his gaze wander the length of his mate's body, lingering momentarily on his groin. He looked back up to catch Damon's unnerved gaze as he watched his wolfe with wide eyes that betrayed a mix of arousal and fear. He blinked, and suddenly both were gone, hidden again beneath his usual mask of insistent non-emotion. Kriston kissed one of Damon's ribs where it still showed and looked up for a reaction. His expression softened a little, but otherwise didn't change. Kriston returned his attention to Day's body, pushing the thin T-shirt up to give him full access. Damon followed his movements with his eyes, but did nothing until Kriston began to finger the waistband of his pants. Then there was a quick, almost undetectable tensing of muscle, followed by an immediate, determined relaxation. As his jeans came off, however, and Kriston began to explore further, Damon began to tremble. Surprised by his usually stoic mate's reaction to his touch, Kriston stopped and sat up to face him. Damon turned his head to the side, refusing to meet his wolfe's gaze.

"Why are you afraid of me?" Kriston cocked his head. "Do you think I want to hurt you?" Damon said nothing. "Do you?" Kriston demanded, and Damon shook his head no.
"Then why?" Damon shrugged, but Kriston wouldn't accept this, and, taking Damon's chin in one strong hand, turned his beta's face to his own. “Why?” he growled.
"I'm not afraid," Damon began hesitantly, a bit intimidated by his wolfe's sudden mood change. "I'm just -" Damon ground his jaw. "I haven't -" Kriston watched his mate expectantly, and Damon made an annoyed noise and looked defiantly away. "I'm fresh."
Kriston took this in, looking surprised, then delighted, then aroused before his expression became something like tenderness. He leaned over for a kiss, and Damon obliged him, not unenthusiastically.
"Why didn't you tell me before? I thought something was wrong with you – with us! But it's really only nerves; you're anxious.” Kriston seemed to ponder this for a moment. “It's important to you." he added, thoughtfully.
Damon shrugged, suddenly feeling vulnerable.
"Not really." He adopted a look of cool indifference and distracted himself with a thread from the sheets. Kriston wanted to laugh at his mate's bravado, but he resisted.
"No?"
"No."
"Well, all's well, then." he shrugged, cupping Damon's face in both hands to kiss his beta firmly and straddled him, his larger legs outside of Day's. Damon tried to steel his reaction, but couldn't keep from sucking in a breath as Kriston's erection rubbed damply against his thigh. Kriston felt the increase and pressed closer, humping against Damon's leg. Damon squirmed and tried to wriggle away, but Kriston kept him in place with one arm, his attention focused on listening to Damon's heart beat triple time.
"Kriston, please? This is too fast; don't..." Damon's eyes flicked nervously up to meet the wolfe's. Kriston relented and let him go.
"Only if you talk."
Damon adopted a severe pout.
"Fine. I guess, in the colony where I grew up, it's a big deal and they have a celebration and stuff, and you have to pass all these tests, and then you're an adult, and it's like you get a new life, but it's really not that big of a deal here and at the BRC they taught us to be adaptable, but I just - can't we go slower?" Day tried to settle his breathing.
Kriston leaned back to look at him.
"It's very important to you."
"No - not anymore."
"Why not?"
"What do you care?"
"Just tell me."
"You're going to have me anyway." Damon answered him. "In my colony, you're supposed to have a proper marr - bonding ceremony before you lie together. Otherwise it's a sin. And you say we will be bonded, which is fine, although in my colony that doesn't count, but I know that you don't want to wait." Kriston looked at his mate for a moment, and Damon blinked away. "And in Recovery, they said that betas should seek to please their wolfes in all things, and Alex says that it would make us both happy, and I do want to do things right for a change, and then I would have my Change and maybe get with and everyone would be happy, so maybe we should just get it over with?"
Suddenly, Kriston sat bolt upright and Day jumped.
"You're from a Baptiste colony!"
"Maybe." Damon looked shifty.
"It won't make us go after them."
"…Yes."
Kriston's hands left Damon's sides to gesture wildly, and he smiled, delighted to finally learn something about his mate.
"You should have said something! We've encountered many of your kind before. For some reason, you're particularly bad at evading us. Anyway, I understand your colony – or at least, its belief structure, and if you had told me, I would have made appropriate arrangements to make you feel comfortable until a bonding ceremony could be arranged." Kriston sighed. "It's never too late, though, I guess. We can start everything immediately."
For the first time in a long time, Damon felt relief. He smiled just the tiniest bit, but it was an immense reward for Kriston, who kissed him and laid down beside him, curling one arm around Damon's waist and kissing the back of his neck. "But it is important to you and you are nervous." he added, still wanting to prove his point. Damon just grinned.

~~~~~

Summer, Year Two (7th Moon)

The massages, Damon decided, were the best part of being bonded to a First Alpha. He relaxed into the feeling of fingers on his scalp and smiled. The light, breaking in through the skylight and playing in cris-crossed beams along the water, mesmerized him, providing a welcome distraction from his thoughts. The first half of the bonding between he and Kriston had taken place almost 3 weeks ago, and although it had eased his mind in some ways, it had terrified him in others. The ceremony had been quicker than he'd anticipated, and prettier. They had used the summer temple, and almost all of the Pack had turned out for the public part of it, to celebrate and feast in the outdoors.

Kriston had been particularly sweet to him both before and after, bringing him little gifts of food and jewelry and clothes, and everyone in the Pack had wanted to meet him and congratulate him and talk to him about what his plans were as the new Second Alpha Mate of ColdRiver. That had been rather stressful, actually – despite what Alex had told him earlier, Damon still had trouble thinking of himself as a leader of anyone, let alone thousands of humans he'd never met before. At least Alex had been temporarily mollified about the BRC – he'd agreed it would be best to wait until after the bonding had finished before bringing it up to Kriston. No one needed a half-crazed wolfe, drunk on bloodlust, wanting to defend his mate. Theoretically, a bonded wolfe would be calmer.

Celebrations had lasted on for days, even though Kriston had been called away for a mission just the day after the ceremony. It had stung, painfully, to have his bondmate go so soon, and Damon was surprised at the swiftness with which his new feelings had taken hold. However, at least, with his mate temporarily away, Damon had been able to finally settle down and enjoy some of the nicer perks of being bonded to an Alpha. His masseuse began to work on his neck next, stroking the tension out of tight muscles. Damon closed his eyes and took another sip of his hunna, one of Kriston's gifts. It relaxed him, as promised, although he knew the effects would only be temporary, and soon he would be sitting lucidly in his bedroom, thinking of all the thousand more things he had to do before Kriston returned from his latest excursion. Damon enjoyed the massage a while longer, then got up to leave the tub. His two newly assigned house attendants helped him out and offered him a warm towel, then led him over to a table where he lay while they massaged and oiled his body. Damon yelped a little as one ventured into some particularly personal areas to gently clean him, but they stroked and soothed him and he relaxed.
“You're unchanged.” one observed, very bluntly. “You've haven't lain with the Alpha.”
Damon tensed up immediately. Were they going to be confused? Angry? He wasn't sure, honestly, exactly what was considered the norm about that here.
The other, sensing Damon's reaction, ran a hand over his shoulders in a calming gesture.
“You will, though, won't you?” he said, his dark eyes scolding his coworker. “Tonight, won't it be? When he gets home. Then you'll change. Don't worry.”
A few more minutes of massage, and then the one who had comforted him spoke again, fingers pressing intimately towards his anus. “But you have to learn not to tense when you're touched here." he said, gently. "You'll only make it more difficult, and First Alpha Wolfe Kriston will want to see you responsive, not repulsed."
Damon exhaled and wondered how to feign relaxation. One of the servants, the first one, he thought, kissed him on the cheek and patted his head comfortingly.
“Don't worry. You'll be changed before you know it.”

~~~

Where the hell was Kriston?
Damon frowned, turning over for what felt like the hundredth time to stare at the wall. He hadn't come home yet, and Damon was feeling annoyed and more insecure by the minute. The servants had finished preparing him hours ago, and he wanted Kriston to see him while he still felt all fresh and clean. This night was going to go perfectly, dammit. It had to.
Damon felt the tendrils of guilt creeping back in. They'd been bonded for more than 2 weeks, and hadn't mated yet. In fact, he'd barely even seen the wolfe. First, his mate had been called away the night after their bonding ceremony, and the weeklong mission meant it had been almost ten days they’d gone without having done the deed. By the time he'd returned, so had Damon's anxiety, and Kriston had to ease him back into familiarity all over again. Then another mission had come up, shorter this time, just to the southern edge and back, but it had taken two more days away from them. Kriston had returned late last night, but had been too exhausted from the journey to do more than shake out a hello and fall asleep. He’d slept until afternoon, when Garron had assembled a hunting party and asked Kriston to take the second half. Which meant that he'd be home, finally, tonight. Which meant that tonight would be the perfect time to consummate things. Besides, between his wolfe’s sweet gestures and his friends’ coaxing, Damon had actually grown rather fond of his mate, and was looking forward to it.

If Kriston ever got home. Damon looked once more at the chronometer, then the darkness outside of his bedroom window. It was a hunt night, and hunt nights meant sex. Kriston had once explained to him why; something about pack dynamics triggering the mating instinct. Day hadn't really been paying attention at the time, as he'd been too busy trying to force 321 pounds of aroused wolfe back to his side of the bed. But the concept had stuck with him.

Tonight, Kriston and Garron had led the pack off as soon as night fell. They'd gone towards the South Woods, the most dangerous wolfe territory, and Damon had felt a little more anxiety about this than was usual for him, but he had masked it in the name of bravery, and come upstairs to drink a little hunna and have a bath and massage. And, apparently, wait for five hours for his mate to come home.

It was very late when the door clicked open. Damon, who'd fallen asleep waiting, whined and rolled onto his back, the light from the freshly activated lamps waking him. He looked to his right, where Kriston stood nude and obviously recently bathed by the bed, a thick brown tail that he hadn't bothered to control swishing back and forth merrily. Damon smiled a tired smile up at his happy mate.
"I take it the hunt went well."
Kriston nodded gleefully.
“My team took down a gualup. It was huge, too! And vicious. Came right at my throat at one point, but it’s dead now – want to come see?"
“Uh, later." Damon demurred. Honestly, he preferred to see his meat after it had gotten to a table, and especially since he still wasn’t very sure what a gualup was. He yawned, stretching languidly, and Kriston smiled broadly down at him before flopping down next to him and wriggled, jostling the bed and ruffling the sheets. Settled, he hooked one arm over Damon's waist and pulled the younger in for a kiss.
"Kriston -"
"You taste good." Kriston kissed him again. "And smell good, too." Another kiss.
"Kriston." Damon broke in before he could be kissed again. Kriston shook his head to clear it and leaned off of his mate.
"Sorry. I'm listening, pup."
"Kriston, we need to talk." the wolfe grinned lasciviously.
"Talk? Are you certain, because I'm sure I could think of better -"
"Ris! We need to talk because I thought that maybe tonight," Damon swallowed before continuing, "You could change me."
Kriston didn't respond for a moment, and Damon's heart did funny things while he worried that his wolfe didn't want him anymore.
"Tonight." his voice was rough with lust, and Damon nodded, relieved but also a little unnerved by his wolfe's obvious interest. He didn't want things to get out of control too quickly, and although he'd been told what to do, Damon knew that he was horribly inexperienced and his fears began to multiply.
"If you're not too tired from the hunt."
Kriston had no such concern, and immediately set upon his beta, kissing him thoroughly while stripping off both their shirts, a rather complicated feat. When he'd finished with that, he slung one leg over and straddled him, then descended upon his neck, nipping his way down to the collarbone, hands simultaneously stroking his skin, scraping lightly over the most sensitive spots. Damon was already aroused and shivering by the time he arrived.
"Day."
"Hmm?"
"I love you. You know that, right?" Kriston punctuated this with one more kiss-nip to the chest and Damon shook.
"Yeah. I know that." Kriston smiled and kissed his mate again, gently exploring Day's mouth with his tongue. Shifting his weight, he raised himself up on one elbow.
"Let me show you how much."
Damon looked nervous, but nodded and offered another embrace. Kriston took it and stroked his beta's now-bare chest slowly. With one knee, he gently separated Damon's legs and climbed between them.
"Open up for me, puppy." he coaxed, whispering into Damon's ear as he caressed the inside of his thigh. Day complied, albeit slowly, spreading his legs farther to allow Kriston room to move between them. He tried to stay relaxed as the wolfe stretched over him, a sinewy strong body gliding over his own, making contact in all the right places. His skin caught fire where Kriston touched it, and when Kriston's rigid cock damply nudged his own, he had to grit his teeth to keep still. The wolfe shifted onto one elbow, closer to Damon, and took his mate's hand, guiding it down to stroke his erection. Damon winced at the slick feel of it and tried to pull away, but Kriston forced his hand back. He laced his fingers with Damon's and began a steady pull on his cock. Damon, always a quick learner, followed Kriston's pattern and watched in amazement as his cock swelled larger. Above him, the wolfe groaned. A thought occurred to Damon, and he caught his lip between his teeth and worried it there for a moment.
"You're big." he whispered this, but Kriston heard. He nuzzled his neck in a soothing response.
"We'll go slow. I won't hurt you." He released Damon's hand and kissed him slowly, massaging his mouth with his tongue. Pleased with the tenderness of the embrace, Damon moaned involuntarily and moved into the kiss. Kriston broke it and grinned down at Damon, who reddened, then stroked his cheek indulgently.
"You're so lovely. I've wanted you since the first day I laid eyes on you." Smiling, he laid a kiss on Damon's lips, then sat back on his haunches. Taking Day's pants by the waist, he eased them across his hips, over his erection, and down his legs to finally pull them off. The second they were off, they were over his shoulder, on the floor, Kriston wanting to keep his attention on his mate. Damon gripped the bedposts behind his head for balance as strong hands guided his legs upwards.
"On my shoulders." Damon tightened his grip as realization of the inevitable swept over him, and he fought his panic, trying to give in to his alpha's touch. Sensing Damon's anxiety, Kriston leaned over to kiss his mate, at the same time hoisting his hips up into his lap, gently kneading Damon's ass as he did so. Damon's gaze focused on Kriston's thick and rapidly growing cock, and the wolfe took advantage of the distraction to wet one finger and slip it into his beta's body. Damon bit back a cry of surprise and squeezed his eyes shut. Kriston kissed him again and rubbed his flank.
"Yes, puppy, I know. Just relax, OK?" Damon nodded, but didn't loosen his grip on the bed.
Kriston slicked his fingers on his cock and pushed in another, moving both circularly inside of his mate. It wasn't too bad, but Damon bit down hard on his lip to manage the discomfort. Kriston watched him closely. "One more, love." Damon shook his head and put one hand over Kriston's.
"S - slow, Ok? Just do it real slow."
Kriston nodded, and then dipped his head to take Damon's half-hard cock in his mouth. Above him, the human jerked and thrust upwards, hardening immediately. Kriston began a steady rhythm, and it didn't take long before Damon was thrusting blindly into his wolfe's mouth as Kriston easily worked three slippery fingers inside of him. He cried out a bit when he came, clenching fingers to the point of discomfort in Kriston's hair, one hand in his silver streak.

Kriston released him and dragged the back of one hand over his mouth, which was upturned in a Cheshire grin. Repositioning his weight, he began to rub Damon's hipbones sweetly with his thumbs until his mate calmed down. When Damon's breathing had evened out again, Kriston slipped the three fingers back in. Damon whimpered at the pain that replaced the old discomfort, but Kriston was bent on his mission and determined to complete it. Steadily sliding his fingers in and out, and after a few strokes, paused. Damon nodded for him to continue, and Kriston did, until his mate seemed comfortable enough to go further. Kriston looked Damon over.
"Are you ready, pup?" Damon began to panic as the now-familiar touch was withdrawn, and he grasped for Kriston. The wolfe kissed and nuzzled Damon to placate him, then sat back to stoke his cock. When he was sufficiently prepared, he looked down at Damon.
"Love you, Day." he whispered, kissing the pliant boy beneath him. Kriston guided himself to his mate's hole and began to push in, agonizingly slowly. Damon choked and bit sharply down as the knife-blade pain of his first penetration shot through him. When Kriston made his first thrust, Damon couldn't quiet himself, and he cried out in pain. Another thrust was swearing, and a third brought begging.
"Kriston...ahh, please...it hurts." Damon whimpered and Kris paused to stroke his face.
"I know. I'm sorry. It'll feel better in a little while, pup, I promise." Kriston kept thrusting and Damon shook his head violently in protest.
"I can't it hurts you're too big stop."
"Almost there, baby." Kriston thrust himself in to the hilt and Damon moaned, then calmed to a sob. Kriston stilled above his mate, waiting until Damon relaxed enough for the pain to subside. After several minutes, Kriston began to move inside of him, slowly, until he felt the swelling particular to wolfes begin.
"Damon, love?" Damon looked up at him through hazy eyes and tried to focus on what he was saying.
"Here it is, OK? This is the part where you have to be still. I'm going to knot and I just really need you to be still, pup." Close as he was, Kriston could hear his mate's heartbeat accelerate, could feel his pulse racing beneath the skin. The erection that had begun to return was flagging now, and Damon was struggling to breathe evenly. Kriston vowed that he would be gentle, but lost the plot as the swelling knot which seemed to begin in his belly and slide down his cock simultaneously lit his nerve endings on fire and brought him into closer contact with his mate's body. He groaned and began to hump mindlessly against Damon. Damon resisted, pushing at his wolfe's chest, but was unable to budge the larger male.
"Kriston..." he whimpered fruitlessly, until the sharp scent of pain brought Kriston back to the present. He refocused on his mate and kissed his brow where it was furrowed with stress.
"Oh, words, I'm sorry - don't fight me, beautiful, you'll make it worse." Damon shook his head, but stopped struggling.
"See, there we are - that's it, darling, just relax." Kriston nuzzled his mate's shoulder, giving it a quick nip. "Just let me take you, puppy - let me take care of everything. It'll be OK."
"Please - please stop, Kriston, please?" he begged again. "It hurts so much, please?" Kriston craned his neck to nuzzle Damon's collarbone.
"I can't, puppy, you know that. I'm knotted, we have to let it finish. Shh. It's almost over, dove." Damon shuddered and drew in a breath, rubbing one hand over his face, trying to concentrate on his breathing. Kriston continued, and as he went on, the thrusting became easier as Damon began to relax.

After a few minutes, Kriston reached something like a preclimax and the swelling that threatened to split Damon in two eased. They separated easily and then Kriston thrust back into his beta's body. Damon whimpered at first, but now that the hardness inside of him wasn't quite so large, he calmed down and began to rather enjoy the experience, try as he did to fight it. After a few more minutes, Kriston changed the angle of his thrusts, pressing differently into his beta's body. Damon gasped as the sensations changed, rode them, and let them build into something more. Kriston kept his rhythm, and Damon pressed back against him, clutching the wolfe's arms to keep his balance. Kriston's thrusts became faster, more erratic, and Damon arched his back and hissed when the depth became too much for him. Then the wolfe growled, pressed his nose into the arc of Damon's neck, and came, flowing hotly into his mate. Whether it was the sensation of the wolfe's orgasm or a culmination of his own, Damon wasn't sure, but he found himself teetering on the edge, every muscle tensed and so tight that when the wolfe lifted his head to whisper, tenderly, into Damon's ear, 'Come for me, little one'... Damon did.

~~~~~

"Rise and shine!" Damon groaned and rolled over to see Alex standing over him.
"What time is it?"
"0700, a bit early."
Damon groaned again and Alex plunked down on the bed, bouncing next to his friend's head.
"You're too damn chipper, man." Damon sat up and rubbed his head. Alex just nodded, practically humming with energy.
"Guess what?"
"You found a stockpile of uppers-"
"I'm having puppies."
"-and you took it all. What?"
"Puppies! My first litter, and I'm almost a month and a half with." Alex grinned. Damon propped himself up on his elbows.
"Puppies? When did you find out?"
Alex just looked ecstatic.
"This morning; I went to the nurses' station." Damon was sitting up now, knees pulled up to his chest.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
Alex raised an eyebrow.
"That's my line. What's wrong?"
"Something hurts." he frowned, focusing inward. "Everything hurts." Alex suddenly noticed that Damon's hands were fisting tightly in the sheets.
"Fuck, Alex, it hurts!"
Alex knew immediately what was happening and, scanning the room, discovered a packet and note lying on the bedside table. Snatching it up, he ripped the packet between his teeth and shoved the small pill it contained into Damon's mouth.
"Damon, it's the Change. It will hurt very badly if you let it, but if you just swallow this pill and breathe for a moment, the pain will go away. Can you do as I say?" Damon nodded, then made a face at the flavor as it dissolved, but swallowed well enough and obediently took the glass of water Alex offered next.
They both sat in silence for a minute as Damon caught his breath.
"Is it worth it?"
The question caught Alex off-guard, and for a moment he couldn't generate a proper response.
"Huh?"
"All this. All the changes, all the sacrifice - is it worth it?" Alex sighed.
"I hope so."

~~~~~