To Love's End

We walked to the seating area that was set just a few feet away from the arcade where our mothers were seated. My heart was still racing and my mind was buzzing with thoughts.

“Mom, we’re going out to the van.” Chris told her.

”Chris-” She began but he cut her off by saying, “Just shut up.”

I didn’t get to see the stunned look on either of our mother’s faces (which I’m sure would have cheered me up somewhat) as he hurried me out to the van. I was almost surprised that his mother didn’t follow us out. She waited inside for Ally and Amy to finish their games in the arcade.

Chris opened the van door for me and I climbed inside. It was slightly chilly and very dark. I flicked the light on and sat still. He didn’t say anything but took my hand. I looked up at him and felt something I’d never felt for him before.

Anger.

“Julie, I…” He said, unable to finish.

I spoke quietly and said, “If you hadn’t gotten carried away with thinking we’d never be caught this wouldn’t have happened!”

“It was just an accident.”

“No! It’s your fault that he found out! I never should have let you convince me to do that.” I told him angrily. I pulled my hand away and sighed.

“You know I never meant for this to happen!”

“Do you have any idea what’s going to happen Monday at school?!” I cried. “As if it wasn’t bad enough already… I can’t avoid him. He’s in my math class.”

“Julie, I’m-“

”No, just stop. It’s your fucking fault and I’m going to be paying for it. Just leave me alone! You’ve caused enough damage.” I told him. I turned away and faced the window. I was fuming. Every second that passed another reason to be angry with Chris appeared to me. I just wanted to go home.

“Fine. I don’t know why you’re being such a bitch. I’m fucking sorry, ok?! What else do you want me to say? What else do you expect me to do?” He exclaimed. I flinched and felt tears sting my eyes. He’d never spoken to me in that tone of voice before and it hurt me.

“Just leave me alone, Chris. You’ve done enough.” I managed, my voice sounding quite meek. I hugged my knees to my chest and started intently out the window. The silence was broken as the doors opened and the rest of our families climbed into the vehicle.

His mother looked back at us and I glared at her. I was so pissed off and sick of the way everyone had been treating me. Enough was enough.

“What, Aunt Katherine? Did you want something?” I asked her rudely.

“Excuse me?” She used her typical adult condescending tone.

“I said, did you want something? You always seem to be watching me so carefully! Is there something wrong with my makeup? Oh that’s right, I’m not wearing any!” I cried, in frustration. I crossed my arms and glared back at her some more.

“Julie! You will not talk to your aunt in that tone of voice!” My mother said sternly.

”Just leave me alone!” I shouted and let one tear slide down my cheek. The car fell silent I could tell Ally, Amy, and even Chris were in shock of what I had said. I felt a little stupid for letting my emotions burst this far, but after holding them in for so long it was becoming hard to control.

When we arrived home it was around 11 PM. I was exhausted but opted to take a nice, hot shower. I needed to relax. The past hours had definitely drained me emotionally and I needed to release the stress. I hurried to the bathroom and locked the door. I didn’t want to be disturbed.

I let the water run to warm up and undressed. Stepping into the hot water I let a sigh of relief. The water caressed my skin and started washing my hair.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on him… I thought. After all, he’d always done all he could to support and comfort me. Tonight… Had been one big mistake. We’d both overreacted. My anger was only created because I was so afraid of losing Chris if Scott told anyone about us. I couldn’t imagine myself without him. He hadn’t deserved the blame for this mistake. It was no one’s fault. It was only one big mistake. I’d just been upset.

This whole day had showed me so many new things and I guess we’d just gotten a bit carried away. We loved each other but things were just a little tense.

I was still nervous about what would happen on Monday. I had my suspicions of the demands Scott might be making. I had no idea what I would or could even say to him. I’d just have to do my best to avoid him all day. I’d explain to Mimi what had happened and she’d help me. It was all I could think of for now.

I stood in the warmth of the cascading water a while longer. I wrapped a towel around my body and opened the door to a dark, quiet hallway. Looking to the clock on the wall I realized it was nearly midnight. I’d stayed in the shower for almost an hour. The house was silent and I assumed everyone was asleep.

I opened my door silently and proceeded to get my pajamas on. I opted for a light pair of pants and a tank. I yawned as I made my way to my bed. Leisurely rubbing my eyes, I climbed into my bed.

“Ah!” I exclaimed, upon finding another body in my bed. Oh, that was right! Chris was sleeping in my room because the basement was currently under construction I was supposed to have slept in Ally’s room, but after my little temper fit in the car they’d gone to bed without me.

“Uhn, Julie?” Chris asked, rubbing his eyes. “What are you doing?”

”Oh… I’m sorry; I forgot you were sleeping here…” I told him, looking down and backing off the bed. “I’ll just go-”

“No, wait.” He grabbed my arm, and was now sitting up. “Just stay here with me.” I bit my lip and looked at him. I felt incredibly guilty for having acted as I did. After he tried to protect me from Scott’s words. I’d been so stupid.

“Oh Chris…” I mumbled, letting him pull me into his arms. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean what I said. I was just so angry and scared…” His hands caressed my back and he held me close. I pulled away from him to look in his eyes. “I’m scared that I’m going to lose you because of this…” I felt tears pressing at my eyes again.

“Julie… Don’t cry.” He whispered, his hands cupping my cheeks as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs. “That won’t happen. No matter what, I will never leave you. Forget about that bastard. Why should it matter what everyone thinks of us? I love you. We’re going to be adults soon and then it won’t matter what our parents say anymore. We’ll be able to survive anything, ok?”

“I… Ok. I know, I just feel so bad about blaming you. I know it wasn’t your fault, I was just really upset.” I explained to him, my hand resting on his chest.

“It’s ok. I’m sorry for yelling at you, I was overwhelmed too.” I nodded and rested my hand in the crook of his shoulder.

“What a day, huh?” He said, jokingly. I let out a quiet laugh, wiping a stray tear from my eye. It truly had been quite a day. I’d done more things today than I’d really imagined and our love really was assured. Yet, in this short day things had took a turn for the worst too.

We fell silent and eventually his breathing slowed down and I realized he’d fallen asleep.

“I love you Chris…” I murmured, soon falling into slumber myself.


When I awoke, I was still in Chris’ arms and I began to panic. It was almost six in the morning and my mother and father would be getting up soon. Nervously, I moved his arms off of me and crawled to the edge of the bed. He awoke as I was standing up.

“Where are you going?” He whispered.

“To Ally’s room… I can’t stay here with you. Not after last night’s fiasco.” I replied, giving him a small smile.

“Come here for a second.” I couldn’t resist and moved toward him. He pulled my face close and kissed me on the lips. He held my face close for a moment, our breaths mingling. “Don’t worry. We’ll work things out.”

I nodded and gave him a smile as I quietly opened the door and snuck into Ally’s room. Thankfully they were both still sleeping and I took my place on the floor where a sleeping back had been set up for me.
I mostly tossed and turned contemplating what would happen the upcoming Monday. I mean… we hadn’t exactly denied Scott’s accusation. And I think our anger had probably even furthered his thoughts.

But it was only Saturday and Chris was here for the rest of the day. They usually never left until around six o’clock so we had a bit of time to talk things out. I gave up on sleep and went downstairs around eight. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table and I said good morning to her.

I began to get myself some cereal as when she asked about last night.

“What happened to Chris’ friend last night? Your aunt Katherine said he was going to come over here afterwards to hang out with Chris.” She asked. I gripped the cereal box tightly.

“Um… I think they got into a bit of fight.” I mumbled, continuing to pour my cereal.

“He seemed rather angry afterwards. What did he want with you?” She questioned me.

“W-What do you mean?” I turned around to look at her, trying to clear any guilt from my face. “He just wanted to talk… You know that we’re close like that.” I looked at her innocently. It was true, we always had been close, probably primarily because of our age.

“Julie…I-” She sighed. “Your aunt told me about lunch yesterday and when she tried to talk to you. This is something we really need to talk about. While I don’t agree with her on everything I do think you should be spending more time with the girls.”

“Why? You had no problem with Chris and me hanging out when we were kids! Nothing’s changed. I don’t understand why everyone’s so uptight about this. Mom, he’s like my brother and I feel comfortable with him. He lets me talk to him freely and helps me with my problems, just like Mimi. Why can’t you just leave us alone?” I shuddered inwardly at the lies I’d just told. I also realized from the momentary look on my mother’s face that I’d made a bad word choice… With all this suspicion going on about Chris and I… us had not been a good word to use. It seemed to indicate to her a relationship of something closer than I had let on.

“Julie, I don’t think I need to explain that to you. It was different when you were children.” No it wasn’t, we still liked each other then, I thought. “You’re a young woman now and I think you can figure out the general view that the family has of you two. To be honest, you have always and still do appear nearly inseparable.”

“Well… I don’t know what everyone thinks and I don’t care.” I said, mentally kicking for all the lies. “I just think that Aunt Karen is far too conservative and I’m not some typical airhead girl. I have my own opinions and values and I’m going to follow them.”

“You’re a smart girl. But realize that we just want what’s best for you.” She stated simply. I nodded, feeling slightly upset. There was too much suspicion in the air and it was unnerving. I just wished that everyone could leave me alone to live my life out as I wanted. I hadn’t chosen to fall in love with Chris. It was a predetermination that was, at the moment, the supplier of my greatest happiness and my greatest strife. I’d tried, ok half-heartedly, to deny the feelings but I couldn’t. This was true love, one that I could never reveal to my family. But it made me the happiest I had ever been and I had to follow it, no matter what.

We’d just have to be more covert now.
“You’ll also need to watch your tone when speaking with your Aunt. Your disrespectful manners are unacceptable, especially what happened last night. I do expect you to apologize to her.” I sighed, defeatedly and told her I would.

A while later, I was sitting on the couch, eating my cereal and watching Saturday morning cartoons when the phone rang. My mother answered it and gave it to me.

“Hey, Julie. It’s Kate from work. We need you to come in today…” I heard the bright voice on the other end tell me.

I groaned and then let a little laugh.

“Sure, is it ok if I come around ten? I just woke up.” I told her. She told me it was and I hung up.
Well, that changed things. I’d thought I’d be able to stay at home Chris today but now… Well, I couldn’t change it so I’d have to just get through the day and hope I could get home early enough to see him before he left.

I told my mother that I’d have to go to work and went upstairs to get changed. I opened the door quietly and moved to my dresser. I chose a simple black pants and a long sleeved top of the same color. I was brushing my hair and braiding it into pigtails when I heard movement behind me.

“Hey.” He said, yawning.

“Morning… again.” I smiled at him.

“Where’re you going?” He asked me, sitting up on one arm.

“I’ve got to go into work today…” I explained, clipping my bangs back.

“Oh… I thought we’d be able to talk today.” He said, looking away. I walked over to him sat down on the bed. I reached over and took his hand.

“I know… We’ll figure something out. I’ll try to call you during my break. There’s something else we need to talk about too.” I told him, looking him in the eye. I could tell he was truly worried and I didn’t like seeing him that way. I was wracked with fear for what the coming week would bring, but I’d felt bad about getting angry at him. He’d only ever supported me and tried to make me feel better and I shouldn’t have snapped at him. I was trying to make it up to him by not letting my true feelings known. I knew it’d only stress him out further.

He nodded and I stood up to leave.

“I’ll see you later, ok?” I said, smiling at him. He said goodbye to me and I left. I felt sort of strange. I’d never seen him acting that way. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind, knowing that I had to hurry if I was to make it to work on time. Thankfully, my mother drove me to the small café in which I worked.

It was bustling with activity when I arrived-the morning crowd. I waved to Kate, who was hurriedly preparing a variety of drinks and treats, as I moved to the back room to grab my apron. I joined in the bustle and time seemed to pass fairly quickly.

I was picking up empty plates and wiping a table after the lunchtime rush when I heard Kate yell to me that there was a customer. The café was fairly empty by now so I put my things down and walked to the front of the room.

My face lit up when I saw that the customer was Chris! I felt better, as he appeared to be in a better mood. I gave him a hug and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I said I was going to talk to Scott and came here. I just couldn’t leave without talking to you and working something out. I can tell you’re scared and this is all my fault…”

“I…” I was at a loss of words. “Here, let’s go into the back.” I took his arm and led him to the back of the café. “Kate, I’m going on my break now.” I told her as she was cleaning the countertop.

We entered the small back room and I led him to the sitting area. I let out a sigh and sat down in the chair.

“I’m not going to say I’m not scared…” I started, my voice wavering slightly. “But I don’t like seeing you this way. Chris, this wasn’t only your fault. We both screwed up, bad.”

“I know… But come Monday I won’t be here anymore to protect you from him. And I don’t know what he’ll do; he’s never been the nicest person.” The trouble in his voice was evident and the truth of his statement was draining the optimistic view I’d held before.

I bit my lip and looked at my hands. He was right… I mean, I could stand up for myself but how far could I go if Scott threatened to reveal our secret. I just couldn’t bear to lose Chris or face the scrutiny that would follow. I knew that Scott was going to use this knowledge to the best of his advantage, and probably get back at me for saying no to him before.

“I know…but what can we even do? He knows now and we can’t change that. I’ll just have to avoid him; Mimi will understand and help me… It’ll be ok.” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt. He looked hesitant but nodded.

“If anything happens, please just call me. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night or noon. Just call and I’ll do whatever I can. I just hate being so far away.” He seemed really upset now and it scared me. He’d always been the strong ad confident one. He always reassured me but now… Now I was having to take on the role but I didn’t feel so self-assured. I was truly afraid of what might happen that Monday.

For right now it was best to just keep things between the two of us and hope for the best. Scott could truly damage our situation and that probably scared me most of all. I would just have to avoid him all together and I could get through this.

We both stood up and I hugged him. He held me for a moment and I didn’t want to let go.

“I’m sorry about all this.” He whispered.

“Me too.” His hands cupped my face and he kissed me slowly. I gazed at him and offered a small smile. “I’ll be ok.”

He didn’t seem so sure of that but my break was over so he prepared to leave. I walked him to the front of the café and gave him one more kiss.

“I don’t think I’ll see you before you leave. I love you and I’ll be ok.” I reassured him. He left after and I went back to work. The rest of the day didn’t pass quite as quickly as I was consumed with worry. I constantly found myself distant and deep in thought and I knew customers were getting a little fed up with me. I felt badly and apologized profusely but I was plagued with worry.

Finally closing arrived and I was just locking the door when I saw Mimi approaching me.

“Hey!” She called. I waved to her as she walked closer. “I came to walk ya home. Your mom said you were here.”

“Oh I was going to call you. Good though, I’m so tired today.” I yawned and stretched my arms.

“Late night?” She asked, with a wink. I began to blush.

“Well… Not quite. But…” I was beginning to smile.

“Oh my god! What happened? You have to tell me right now!” She demanded as we walked down the street. The memories of Scott were temporarily forgotten and I was thankful for it.

“Um… Well, we kind of… went all the way.” I told her in the meekest of voices. She raised a hand to her mouth and then began to giggle madly.

“You did not!” She said, laughing. I nodded, biting my lip to stop from grinning. Her eyes were twinkling mischievously and I awaited her barrage of questions. “I can’t believe it! You lucky girl!”

I told her all about yesterday afternoon and about the movie theatre. I decided to withhold the information about what happened with Scott as I knew how she would react to it. She’d confront him and that was what I was trying to avoid for now.

We approached my house and I noted with sadness that my cousins’ van was gone. I felt a lot better, having talked with Mimi and shared my experiences with her. I was reminded how much I loved this girl. She was like my sister. She said we’d have to have a sleepover sometime so she could press me with more questions. I laughed and told her, ‘any time!’

The rest of the day and Sunday passed rather slowly, drawn out as my worry and dread of the next day seemed to build up. The anticipation of what could happen on Monday was wearing me out and I ended up falling asleep very early.


I felt very self-conscious that Monday, walking the hallways of my school. Mimi hadn’t shown up today. She’d told me in a text message that she wasn’t feeling well and I felt immediately remorseful that I hadn’t told her what had happened with Scott. As Mimi was the only person I really talked to I did my best to make it to each class without seeing Scott. I was so afraid of him I’d literally felt sick myself this morning. I really thought that maybe I’d been wrong in not telling Mimi. She’d definitely have shown up today if I had told her and I was scared about being alone.

The bell rang and I was packing books into my backpack at my locker. The hallway in which my locker was located was fairly empty as it was the back hall. I felt relieved as I
closed the lock on my locker. I’d managed to get through almost the entire the day without seeing him. I only had one period left. I’d used my good standing with my math teacher to get him to allow me to do my work in the library during first period.

Unfortunately…It would appear my luck had run out. He had found out where my locker was and decided to pay me a visit. I desperately looked around me but the hall was void of any students or teachers. I felt my heart rate pick up slightly.

“Hey Julie.” He said casually. I backed up against my locker as he walked toward me. He rested his arm atop me and leaned close. “We need to talk.”

I shrunk back and whispered, “About what?” I bit my lip fearfully.

“About you and me.” He told me. I looked at him confusedly. “Well, now that I’ve found out about your little relationship with Chris, I think you may want to reconsider my offer. Or you may just find that people start discovering what a slut you really are…”

I leaned against my locker and whispered, “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I need to get to class…” I clutched my bag tightly and looked down.

“I think you can spare a minute for me. Let’s go.” He grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me down the hallway. I struggled against him but he just stopped and pushed me against the wall. “Do you want everyone to hear your little secret?” I shook my head in fright of his violence, giving up my lie. He knew and there was nothing I could do. “Well, then just stop fucking around.”

He pulled me into a doorway and I was surprised to see it was one of the out of order washrooms. I was directed into one of the stalls and he threw his back pack on the ground. “I thought you’d be more comfortable here,” He snickered, grinning at me.

I could feel myself beginning to shake with fear. I glanced around me, desperately wanting to escape him.

“Don’t bother. Would you like me to call your mommy right now and tell her what you and your cousin have been up to underneath their noses all this time?” I shook my head and clutched my bag tighter. “Good, now get on your knees.” His hands pushed on my shoulders until I fell to my knees before him.

“No… Scott. Please.” I pleaded with him, my voice having returned. “Anything but this. I swear… I’ll go out with you, whatever. Please just don’t make me do this.” I stared up at him with apprehension.

“You should have thought about that before. Still a good idea though.” His grin was unending. “Now, enough talk.”

I closed my eyes and waited for what was to come. I could hear him unzipping his pants and felt my heart racing. Oh god no…His hand touched the back of my head and he commanded, “Suck it.” I looked up at him, my eyes pleading him to stop this. I kept my mouth shut tightly and shook my head. “Do it or I will tell everyone your little secret.”

I had to do it. I had no choice. If our secret was revealed I would be torn apart from Chris and my own family would probably abandon me in disgust.

Cautiously, I opened my mouth and took him in. He wasn’t quite as big as Chris but he was a lot more inconsiderate. The hand on the back of my head kept pushing me further and further down. I began to gag and tears filled my eyes.

He continued to push into my mouth and I felt incredibly disgusting. How could I let him do this to me? I was having a hard time breathing as he held my head in place on his cock. He didn’t last long though and soon squirted his semen into my mouth. I felt it hit the back of my throat and began to cough. He pulled out and let loose a second string of it onto my hair and face. I continued to cough, the taste of it disgusting me.

He remained leaning against the wall for a few moments as I coughed and spit onto the floor. I began to cry silently and he looked down at me with loathing.

“It seems that Chris didn’t teach you very well… You can be sure we’ll have many more lessons.” He told me. I glared at him as tears streamed down my cheeks. He zipped up his pants and grabbed his bag. “You might wanna clean yourself up before you leave or people might suspect something.” He winked at me and left.

I fell onto the floor, holding myself as I let the tears flow free. I cursed myself for having followed through with that. I cried out how much I hated Scott, knowing no one would even hear me. How could he have made me do that? Did he have no heart? I wasn’t just some plaything that he could use when he wanted. He’d said this wouldn’t be the last time but… No matter what, I couldn’t do that again.

It took me a while to calm down but eventually my cries fell to a mere whimper and I managed to clean myself up in the sink. I contemplated calling Mimi but I knew that would only further my suffering. Mimi would go on a rampage and hunt him down. Then he’d know I’d told someone and that would be the end of it for me. If I could just get through the last few months of this year perhaps I could switch schools. I could escape him with no one ever finding out what had happened.

I took a breath and tried to compose myself. When I left the washroom I hurried to the exit of the school. Unfortunately classes had just let out and I was caught in the stream of students in the hallway. I held my head low, trying to avoid anyone who might talk to me. I was nearly to the doorway when I felt a hand grab me and pull me back.

“Hey, Jules,” Came the obnoxious voice. “Where are ya going in such a hurry?” I cringed and flinched away from him but he held tight. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. He was surrounded by a group his friends, a mix of males and females.

I didn’t answer him but stared at my bag in my arms.

“So, Jamie and Sarah wanted to go on a double date sometime. What do you think?” He asked me.

I glanced up at him and glared. The fucker told his friends we we’re going out. And I would bet any money that by tomorrow at nine am, the entire sophomore class would know. Though I usually denied it to myself, in recent weeks I’d been getting a little bit of attention from the males. Scott had been partially right in most people believing me a prude. I was very quiet and I generally dismissed any of the attention I was given from the opposite sex because I believed their motives were only to hurt me. I’d been the centre of bullying for a while and thus I’d been holding off on dating. But now, having truly admitted to loving Chris and entering into a relationship with him I’d furthered the gap between myself and my classmates.

“I… I’ll have to ask my mom.” I mumbled. I stepped back to leave but his grip on my arm tightened. I flinched again, wishing I could just disappear. “C-Can I go now?”

Scott uttered a fake laugh to appease his friend’s doubts. Then he let me go and waved, saying, “See ya, I’ll phone you tonight!” Then he winked at me. As I hurried away I could hear his friends questioning on how he had managed to ‘score’ me. The untouchable, chaste, quiet little girl.

If I hadn’t been so terrified of him at that moment I would have gone back and slapped him right across the face again. The only thing holding me back was the fear of losing Chris. I felt myself tearing up again and rushed out of the building.

When I finally arrived home I locked myself in my room for the night. I couldn’t bear to face anyone, knowing what I had done. I felt so incredibly dirty and utterly disgusted with myself. How had I ever let myself do such a thing? I contemplated what I was going to do about it. Crying wouldn’t help me.

Calling Chris was completely out of the question. If he ever found out what had happened I knew he’d find a way to get here and beat the shit out of Scott. That would definitely not help, as much as I would have liked to have seen Scott in excruciating pain.

I couldn’t tell Mimi because she’d react just as Chris would. She’d confront Scott and it could only end in him finding a way to ruin my life.

Most of all, I couldn’t tell my mother. First of all, she had no idea that I’d even kissed a boy, let alone had sex; in a bathroom, at that. Even if it was just that, I might consider telling her. But that fact that the object of my deep physical and emotional attractions was her sister’s son sort of ruled that one out.

I was all alone in this problem. I looked to what tomorrow might hold and shuddered. I could not do that to him again. I never even wanted to see him again, let alone blow him. I wasn’t a slut. I loved Chris and he loved me and everything we did was purely because of that. I’d never done anything with anyone else…

There just seemed to be no answers to my problem.


The next morning I arrived at school promptly at nine, entering the class as the teacher was beginning the lesson. Unfortunately first period was math and I had no hopes of escaping it this time. I sat in the corner but Scott made a point of moving his seat beside me and pretending to help me with the problems. I knew it was just a show for the others in the class and was his way of torturing me.

When the class ended I thought I would be free of him but he ‘escorted’ me to my next class and forced me to hold his hand. We arrived at the door and I was horrified as he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. I forced a smile (he had threatened me during math, saying that I had to look the part of his girlfriend) and hurried into the room.

At lunch he found me and made me sit with his group of friends. They weren’t terrible people but I preferred the company of Mimi. I just wasn’t a fan of huge groups.

“Hey Julie,” Sarah said. She was sitting beside me and we had been chatting about our winter holidays. Sarah was an alright girl and I felt somewhat at ease talking to her. “What’s that on your neck?”

I raised a hand to my neck and remembered the mark that Chris had left. I began blushing at the thought but that gave her the wrong idea.

“Oh my gosh! Is that a hickey?” She let out a laugh and everyone turned to look. I think Scott was a bit surprised as he hadn’t seen it before. I just looked down and held my hand on it.

“No…” I said quietly. “Bug bite.” I bit my lip and hoped Scott would keep quiet. Of course he didn’t.

”Oh Julie, don’t be so shy. Sarah, as if you haven’t seen one of those before!” Scott grinned at her and she stuck her tongue out at him. I felt Scott put his arm around me and I cringed. I was so glad to hear the class bell ring and waited for Scott to walk me to class. There was no avoiding it anyway.

The rest of the week continued in much the same manner. Scott had told me that on Friday night we would be going to his house to hangout. And I knew exactly what I’d be doing there. I dreaded it and the entire day on Friday I was absolutely sick at the thought of having to deal with him touching and treating me like his girlfriend. I was somewhat happy that he hadn’t, thus far, made me touch him intimately again. But I knew tonight would ruin that. Guilt had filled me for the past few days, as I realized how incredibly unfaithful I was being to Chris. I knew he would never do such things with another girl and I felt even worse at myself.

As I walked into my second period class Mimi greeted me. She commented that I wasn’t looking so well.

“I must be coming down with something…” I muttered.

“Jules, why didn’t you tell me you were going out with Scott tonight? I heard it from Sarah. You guys seemed to be getting pretty serious so fast… What happened to Chris? I mean, when we talked on Sunday you seemed so in love. You always have.” She asked, seeming a little upset that I hadn’t told her. It’s not that I wanted to hide it from her; I was still trying to deny to myself that this was even happening.

I bit my lip and shook my head, mumbling, “Please… I don’t want to talk about it.” I tried not to let the upset show in my voice but apparently I was bad at hiding my emotions.

”Julie? What’s going on…? Ever since you started dating Scott you’ve been acting funny. I mean, you tell me you love Chris and all and then you start dating this loser? We used to make fun him and you always told me how much you disliked him.”

I ran a hand through my hair. I couldn’t keep this up. The guilt for what I had done and anger for Scott was rising. I had to tell her… I just had to. There would just have to be a way to stop him from telling others though.

“Mimi? Would you… skip class with me? I really need to talk to you but here is not the place.” I whispered to her. I held my hands together, utterly worried if I was doing the right thing. She didn’t answer but grabbed her stuff and we left the class together. The teacher hadn’t arrived yet but it wouldn’t have mattered. When Mimi was determined to do something no one could stop her.

We wandered across the street to a coffee shop. She bought us both hot chocolates and I started to feel a lot more reassured that I was doing the right thing. I couldn’t let Scott use me. I couldn’t live in fear of him. It may only have been a week of torture, but it was more than enough for one lifetime.

“Ok, Julie, you have to tell me what’s going on. I can tell there’s something wrong with you.”

”It’s just… Well I know I should have told you all this sooner but…I couldn’t.” And so I reminded her of my movie theatre escapades and nervously fidgeted with my hands. I just… I had to tell her.

“While we were… in the bathroom Scott came in but I don’t think he realized it was us. When I was in the arcade afterwards he must have noticed how protective Chris was acting… After he made another comment about going out with me. And then he recognized Chris’ shoes and figured out what nobody else has. And now… he’s forcing me to go out with him and he....” My hands were balled into fists on the table. I was looking down at my cup of hot chocolate, bidding my emotions to stay in control.

“Julie what did he make you do?” She pressed, reaching across the table to hold my hand.

“H-He…forced me to…” I couldn’t even say it. I couldn’t admit to having done something so awful. “No.. I can’t say it. I’m sorry.” I shook my head and looked down.

“Here,” She said, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. “Just write it down.” I looked hesitantly at the objects before me. After this, there was no going back. I picked up the pen and wrote. She pulled the paper back and read it, aghast.

“HE WHAT?!” She shouted, gaining looks from those around us. She stood up and told me angrily, “Where is that bastard!? I’m going to find him right now and make him sorry he ever touched you.”

I looked up and grabbed her arm, knowing this is exactly what was going to happen.

“No… Please don’t. Mimi I didn’t tell you because this is what can’t happen. If we confront him he’ll only tell everyone about me and Chris. If my mom finds out… I’ll never be able to see him again, if I don’t get kicked out of my house first.” I looked away. I could tell Mimi was incredibly upset and it was hard for her not to do anything. She’d always protected me but now she couldn’t. Not from something like this. I took a sip of my drink, my hands shaking. What was I going to do?


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