More than Anyone

She was going to throw up. She was certain of it. She couldn’t fly. She was a horrible flier who took full advantage of the small vomit bags each plane provided. Oh, God. Leaning forward in the seat, Olivia clutched her stomach and rested her forehead on her knees. She just had to remember to breathe. That was it. Just breathe and it would be okay. Oh, who was she kidding? She was two seconds away from a panic attack. One look at her and Ben would know that the thought of flying petrified her and he would laugh at her. Not that she cared. If he wanted to laugh, he could laugh himself to death for all she cared. She wished she had taken a pill or something that would relax everything.

It was nearly eight o’clock in the morning and O’Hare Airport was probably the emptiest she had ever seen it. She hadn’t been too surprised to find out that she and Ben had gotten plane tickets to fly out on the same day. Things like that seemed to be happening constantly lately. No matter where she was, Ben wasn’t too far behind. Even though they had never discussed it, it was almost assumed that they were flying out on the same flight. The only difference was Ben had a first-class ticket and Olivia had only had enough money to buy her a ticket in coach near the tail. Ben hadn’t liked that in the least and had taken it upon himself to go and try to rectify the situation at the ticket counter where, Olivia was certain, he was trying to charm the airline employee with his smile and accent. She had been too nervous and panicked to even tell Ben that they didn’t have to sit with one another.

“Okay,” Ben said, coming up to her and plopping down in the seat next to hers. “I officially understand why people always have high blood pressure at the airports. Everyone who works here is a soddin’ idiot.” Olivia nodded her head, still resting it on her knees. He frowned. “Are you okay?” He asked, placing his hand ever so lightly on her back. He knew that she wasn’t though because she didn’t tell him to stop touching her. “Olivia?”

She turned her head, remaining hunched over, and looked at him. “I hate to fly.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding his head. He reclined in the uncomfortable plastic airport chair and began to ever so gently rub her back. “I’ve heard of people like you.”

She wasn’t in the mood to retaliate. She closed her eyes and Ben was encouraged by her actions to keep rubbing her back in soothing circular motions with his hand. “What’s going on with our tickets?” She asked, trying not to let him know how much she was enjoying his technique of trying to help her relax.

“Oh. That.” His scowl instantly reappeared and his mood darkened. “They got piss for brains, the lot of them.” Olivia couldn’t help but smile as his accent became thicker. She wondered if he even noticed that it was happening. “I basically had to draw them a picture of what I wanted.”

“And?” She asked, practically mewling as his hand clenched into a fist and worked on the knot at the base of her spine. She bit down on her lip to keep from moaning. She couldn’t believe that she was enjoying it. She couldn’t help it though. Maybe it was the fear of flying or the anticipation of finally going to England. Whatever it was, Ben’s hand on her made her feel splendid.

“I’ll be joining you in coach,” he said with a shrug when she sat up, neither commenting on his hand still on the small of her back, and she looked at him with surprise. “Well, they didn’t have an extra seat in first class and the seat next to you was empty so... I’m glad though. I had no idea you were planning on having an anxiety attack today.” He smiled then removed his hand from her back and suddenly stood up. “I think I’m going to keep my legs stretched as much as possible before boarding.”

“What time is it?” She asked apprehensively, tensing up as she stood up as well.

“We have about an hour,” he answered, slinging his bag on over his shoulder. “Let’s get through security and then we can go to the bar and get you a beer before we take off.”

Olivia followed him without complaint towards the security checkpoints. As if sensing the cold fear that suddenly gripped her, Ben took her hand and tugged on it, leading her towards the metal detectors. She didn’t even fight him. She was feeling too nauseous to fight. “Do you think a beer is really going to help me?” She asked.

Ben could actually feel the nerves she was experiencing and her hand was sweaty and clammy in his. He didn’t dare comment on it though. Instead, he smiled as they stopped at the end of the line, her hand clenching his. “When does a beer not help you?” He declared victory when a shaky, slight smile spread across her lips. His job here was done.

She almost began to hyperventilate as Ben put their bags on the x-ray belt and he released her hand to step through the metal detector. “Did you know that a pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes?” She blurted out suddenly. Ben stared at her, as well as the two security guards, the one arming the detector and the other looking at the x-rays of their baggage.

“What?” Ben finally asked, letting out a short laugh. He held out his hand, beckoning her to follow him but she was frozen.

“And an ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain,” she continued to ramble, still not moving through the detector. “Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.”

“You don’t say?” Ben smiled, finding her nervous babbling endearingly cute. He held out his hand, almost tempted to go through the detector again just to push her through.

She nodded her head franticly, swallowing the lump in her throat. “The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.”

“Really?” The woman guard behind the x-ray screen asked with interested raised eyebrows. Ben almost laughed. This had to be one of the most insane things that he had ever witnessed at an airport and he had been flying since he was three months old.

“What else you got?” The other guard, a man, asked curiously. At that, Ben did start laughing but he quickly quieted upon seeing Olivia. She was almost shaking now, looking at the detector in front of her. He looked over her shoulder and was thankful that no one was behind her, waiting.

“In England,” Olivia began. “That’s where we’re going. But in England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.”

“Very true,” Ben nodded his head, holding out his hand towards her. “Come on, Liv. Let’s go get you that beer.”

“Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.”

The woman guard gasped. “Really?” She asked again. Neither guard seemed too concerned that Olivia was losing it in front of their very eyes. Ben sighed. She was having a very serious attack of nerves and he wondered if he would have to carry her onto the plane. No wonder she never traveled outside the country.

“Come on, Liv,” Ben said, reaching for her hand and yanking her through the detector. Thankfully, she was wearing nothing that set off the alarm. He grabbed both of their bags while she clutched his hand so tightly, he was convinced he was losing feeling in it but he wasn’t about to complain. He could feel her body shaking ever so slightly.

“Have a nice trip, honey!” The woman guard called out after them as Ben led them in the direction of their boarding gate. Ben almost scoffed. A ten hour flight in the back of coach was going to be anything but nice.

They walked in silence down towards their gate, Olivia still clutching his hand. Her stomach was in a painful knot and every time they passed a trash can, she felt bile rise in her throat. She had dressed comfortably that day for the traveling and she wore a black mini-prairie skirt and a little blue tee-shirt with black flip-flops that slapped her feet as they walked. She stopped him suddenly though and he looked at her concerned. Her entire face was pale and he immediately put a hand to her forehead.

“Are you going to throw up?” He asked, concerned.

She managed a shaky smile. “That is always a possibility.” He smiled in return but he was still worried about her state at the moment. She placed her hand over his and slowly removed it from her forehead. “I’m sorry about freaking out back there.”

“What was all that?”

“I make lists. It’s my nervous habit and those were just some random facts I knew,” she confessed and he smiled.

“The pig orgasm one kind of surprised me,” he laughed shortly.

She smiled shyly then shrugged. “I have to use the bathroom.”

He nodded his head then looked down and realized that she was still holding his hand. He slowly pulled it from hers, never looking away from her eyes. “Okay. We’re at Gate 26. I’ll meet you there?” He suggested and she nodded his head. Yet, he didn’t turn to walk away. He continued staring at her. “You’ll be okay?”

“Nothing like a good heave to help,” she tried to joke but both could tell that she was quite serious about it. He hesitated and she couldn’t help but sigh, rolling her eyes. “I’ll be fine, Ben,” she swore then without standing around for him to hover some more, she turned and rushed into the bathroom, slapping a hand over her mouth. She barely made it to the toilet before she began throwing up. Not caring about touching the airport bathroom floor with her bare skin, she sank to her knees and clung to the sides of the toilet as she vomited until her throat was raw and her head spun. She had to calm down. She couldn’t believe that she had just started talking like that and had been unable to shut herself up. And she couldn’t believe that she was acting like this in front of Ben. He would never let her forget it either. She knew he wouldn’t. She already dreaded the plane ride and not for the obvious reason of flying in a plane. He would probably tease her the whole way about the way she had had a breakdown right there at the security check.

Olivia sighed, flushing the toilet and standing up. At least she could be thankful for having an early flight and not have the airport absolutely packed. The throngs of people would only add to her anxiety. Going to the sink, she washed her hands then splashed the freezing cold water onto her face. As she patted her self dry with the paper towels, she stared at her reflection. Okay. She had to calm down. Calm down, she scolded herself. She had read a statistic of it being more likely to die on the way to the airport than dying in a plane crash. For some reason though, that didn’t ease her mind. She always felt that if God wanted her to fly, he would have given her wings. A human flying is unnatural. But she had to calm down. She knew she had to. She was finally going to London. She forced herself to smile. This is what she had dreamt about for so long. She was finally getting to check one thing off her aspiration list and there was no way in hell her fear was going to stop her. Her smile became less shaky. This is what she wanted. She wanted to travel. She wanted to see different places and be able to tell her children one day that their mother had actually done something fun and exciting and adventurous. England was the first step though. If she could just get on that plane and get there, everything would begin to be okay.

Ben was sitting in a chair in front of the window, watching the planes land and take off and listening in his I-pod. He immediately ripped the headphones out of his ears though when she sat down in the chair next to him and he sat up a bit straighter. “How are you?”

She nodded her head, smiling tightly. It had just occurred to her that her toothbrush was in her big suitcase, which she had checked in. She didn’t even have gum on her and her breath now reeked of vomit. “Fine,” she mumbled holding her hand over her mouth.

He smiled slightly then reached into the small bag he had as his carryon, resting on the empty seat next to him. He pulled out a bottle of water. “Thought you might want this.”

“Thank you,” she said gratefully then twisting it open, drank the water greedily. She sighed contently, sinking back into her seat and Ben smiled, scrolling through the menu of his classic white I-pod. “How many songs do you have on it?”

“Um, almost 3,000 I think,” he answered. “Do you have one?”

She shook her head. “No. I have a lot of songs on my computer though at home.”

He nodded then watched her as she took another chug of the water. “You’re going to be okay, right? I mean... flying and all?”

“I’ll be fine,” she reassured him though her stomach was still knotted. “I just haven’t flown enough in my life to get used to it. I don’t think I want to be able to get used to it.” Olivia paused, screwing then unscrewing the white cap to the water bottle. “I bet you’ve flown so many times though it’s not even a big deal to you anymore. Right?”

“Right,” he said, putting his I-pod away. He was glad she wanted to talk. He had been worried about her when she had rushed into the bathroom, managing to look pale and green all at the same time. “I don’t mind taking a boat but that’s only if you have the time. Flying is just so much easier and convenient.”

Olivia swallowed a mouthful of water. “Boats? Like cruise ships?”

Or my private family yacht, he said silently to himself. “Exactly,” he lied. “My mom loved a good cruise and my dad could never refuse her. I like flying though.”

“I’ve never been on a boat,” she confessed.

Ben widened his eyes in surprise. “You’ve never been on a boat? Not even a sailboat?”

She shook her head, now slightly embarrassed. First, she hated to fly and now she was nautically-challenged. “I’d probably get sea sick to be honest with you,” she tried to joke.

Ben though didn’t seem to listening though. He was staring out the window, a slight frown on his face. “When we get back, I’ll take you on a boat.”

“Oh, really?” She asked, slightly amused. “You just have a boat lying around?”

He did have a sailboat in Chicago Harbor but that would probably seem odd to her. “A friend of mine owns a boat and since he has no idea what to do with it, I take it out for him. I love to sail.”

She stared at him. “Your friend owns a boat but he doesn’t know what to do with it?” She questioned, her own frown etched on her face. “God. I hate the idle rich.”

“What?” Ben almost exclaimed, leaping from his seat. How did the conversation subject turn into this?

Olivia only shrugged though, not noticing his immediate discomfort with her statement. “I just don’t understand people with money. They just seem to waste it. Like in those celebrity magazines, I couldn’t fathom spending $3,000 on ONE purse! And here your friend is, obviously rich, and he buys a sailboat he doesn’t even use because he doesn’t know how to.” She shook her head, sighing. “If I could just have an eighth of what some of these people have, I would guarantee you that I would spend it all a lot more wisely.”

Squirming in his seat, Ben opened his mouth to respond but thankfully, he was interrupted. He didn’t want to tell Olivia his secret, or secrets for that matter. She’d be pissed off that he had lied to her so many times already and he did not want her fuming with him for a ten hour flight or a week-long trip.

“Flight 145 from Chicago direct to London now boarding at Gate 26,” the airline employee announced over the speakers. “Those holding first class tickets may board first followed by those with coach tickets.”

Ben stood up, gathering his things then looked down at Olivia, her face paling again as she took a particularly long chug of her water. “Are you ready for this?”

Olivia slowly lifted her head and met his eyes. Her eyes were scared but her face was set with determination. “I’ve been waiting for this for a really long time.” She stood up, breathing out heavily then giving him a shaky smile. “I’m ready.”

She didn’t mean to but after downing three glasses of straight vodka and clutching the armrests during take-off and a slight bout of turbulence so tight, she was convinced she had broken her hands, she fell asleep, her head resting on Ben’s shoulder. He didn’t mind though. He was too busy listening to his I-pod and watching the in-flight movie without sound. That and he made sure he had a barf bag within reach for the duration of the flight, thinking that flying coach was bad enough without Olivia throwing up all over him. Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, she shifted and nuzzled closer to him. Ben couldn’t help but smell her hair. She smelled of strawberries and bananas. She actually smelled quite pleasant and he just prayed that she remained asleep instead of waking up to find that he was sniffing her hair.

On the tray table in front of her, he noticed an open composition notebook. She had scribbled something in the margin before signaling to the flight attendant for another drink. Now, with most of the plane asleep, and Ben unable to move with her using him as a pillow, he peeked down at the page. He knew it was wrong and she would more than likely rip out his insides if she found out but he couldn’t help it. He had always been too curious for his own good. First, he looked at what she had written in the margin.

“When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life, for there is in London all that life can afford.” – Samuel Johnson

He had never heard that quote before but he instantly liked it. Peering at the rest of the page, he found that she had written out a list. At the top was London written in all caps and traced several times with her black pen to make it appear even bolder. He scanned down the list quickly, reading all of the places she wanted to see and do the most. The Tower of London, The British Museum, Westminster Abbey and St. Paul’s Cathedral, Tower Bridge and Big Ben, and to see the changing of the Guard. The last one on her list however took him by surprise and he read it several times before he could finally not only comprehend it but believe what she had written.

6. Thank Ben

Without being able to help himself, Ben settled back into his seat and looked down at her head still on his shoulder. He smiled.