Devil May Love

Gaibriel stared down into his notebook at the number he had written there. Today's phone call had taken him by complete surprise. The last name he expected to be brought up was Jullien's. And then... and then Jullien had got on the phone. That almost made his heart stop. Such a nice voice... Strong, soft and kind... and free. Jullien could say anything he wanted without fear of being over heard.

Gaibriel swallowed hard, trying to remove the lump in his throat. His heart pounded a mile a minute and he felt giddy. None of those things made sense to Gaibriel. He'd never felt them all at one time like this. And even though he had felt them before, something was different about them now. Something more... personal.

Finding it impossible to concentrate of his homework, Gaibriel gave up. He closed his books and packed them away in his backpack. Gathering his nightclothes, he made his way into the small bathroom at the end of the hall. His father had already taken a shower that night so he didn't have to worry about being yelled at for taking too long.

His mind stayed firmly on Jullien as he adjusted the temperature of the water, them pushed in the knob to send the water to the shower head. The water was hot and already steam was slowly developing in the room. He liked his showers almost unbearably hot. It relaxed his muscles and eased the bruises some. And he felt safe in here... one of the few places in his home he actually felt that way. Nothing bad had ever happened in the bathroom.

Undressing, Gaibriel tentatively got in the shower and got under the shower spray. Stinging hot at first, his body slowly got used to the hot temperature and relaxed under it. He felt his neck and shoulders muscles go limp as he moved and stretched them under the comforting water. The bruises on his thighs and legs were slowly fading away. Most of them now had a sickly orange and green color and didn't hurt to the touch anymore. Gaibriel grabbed the shampoo on the shelf above his head and squeezed some in his hands. Working it into lather, his thoughts drifted back to the phone call and that night in the park.

He'd seen Jullien coming up to him. Jullien's pretty face had been scrunched up, confused and a little worried. Gaibriel would have got up and walked away, but Jullien's appearance amazed him. He'd never seen anyone dress like that. Never seen hair that long and pretty or clothes that tight and sexy. By the time he was able to shake off the stupor, Jullien was kneeling in front of him and asking questions.

Gaibriel sighed and began rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. Jullien had been very nice that night. And Gaibriel had no problems trusting him... even if most of his trust was really out of self-abandonment. He'd never realized how desperate he was for freedom... or at least to see some one else's freedom. Somehow, that would be enough to keep him going.

But it wasn't. Seeing Jullien... seeing his freedom only made Gaibriel want it more. He'd never really cared before. He knew other people lived like that but he'd never seen it. Now he had. And he wanted it. He wanted to be able to talk to who ever called... to dress in whatever he wanted... to let his hair get as long or short as he liked....

Gaibriel sighed again, reaching for the bar of soap on the edge of the tub. He knew it was a waste of time to think like that. He used to think like that all the time. Things had gotten a lot easier when he stopped wishing and just accepted it. 'I should just throw his number away,' Gaibriel thought, lathering up the white loofah. 'Then I could go back to just forgetting it all...’ But he knew he'd never be able to forget it all. Every time he went out for a walk or saw someone with blonde hair or heard music he'd think about Jullien and the offer that had been made to him.

Gaibriel began rinsing the water off his body, forcing himself to stop thinking about it. He wouldn't throw the number away but he wouldn't use it either. Whatever happened, happened. Stepping out of the shower, Gaibriel dried himself off quickly and got dressed. It was silent as Gaibriel made his way back into his bedroom. Most likely his mother and father were already in bed. His father had to get up very early in the morning for work and his mother had to be up even earlier so she could make him breakfast.

He packed all his books away into his backpack and sat it at the foot of his bed for in the morning. Going to his closet he pulled out the clothes he would be wearing tomorrow. A pair of black jeans and a long sleeved dark gray shirt. He wasn't exactly an impressive dresser. Holding his jeans out in front of him, he wondered for a moment what it would feel like to dress like Jullien did. Shaking his head, he put the jeans back down and climbed in bed.

He was starting to wish he'd never seen Jullien that night. No matter how many times he'd told himself not to think about Jullien anymore, it was all he could think about. Everything reminded him of that night and it was driving him nuts. He couldn't even pick out clothes without wondering about something that had to do with Jullien. Sighing heavily, he turned over on his side, facing the wall.

"Jullien, Jullien, Jullien," he mumbled through a yawn. His mind flipped through different images of the blonde man as he slowly drifted off to sleep.
------

Gaibriel blinked hard against the bright light that shone through his window. Cursing he jumped up out of bed. He'd overslept?! Why hadn't his mother woken him up? He dashed downstairs, calling out to her. Silence greeted him. He checked all the rooms, looking everywhere. He was alone in the house.

He made his way back upstairs and to his room. Looked like he would be walking to school today...

"No need to worry about it, hon."

Gaibriel screamed and turned around, the voice taking him completely by surprise. What he saw surprised him even more. Jullien stood behind him, leaning casually against the wall a small smile tugging on his pouty lips. Gaibriel opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Speechless?" Jullien pushed himself up off the wall. He was dressed the same way he had been the night they'd met. "Don't worry. We can find another use for those lips, I think." Jullien's smiled widened.

Gaibriel thought he was going to explode. Finding his voice finally, the words seemed to rush out of his mouth uncontrollably. "What are you doing here? How did you get in? Where's Mother?"

Jullien laughed. "Shush... Show me your room? I waited out here but you dashed on by without noticing."

Gaibriel blushed. Had Jullien really been standing there all along? "Um... Come on in," he said, stepping back into his room and gesturing for Jullien to come on inside. "If my father comes home, I'm dead so please don't stay long."

"He won't be coming home right now."

Somehow, Gaibriel didn't doubt that at all. This had to be a dream... He nodded. That was it. He was dreaming. He'd always heard people say you could wake yourself by pinching your arm. He didn't.

Jullien trailed his fingers over Gaibriel's arm as he walked by and gave him a smile that made Gaibriel's stomach tighten. That was an odd sensation. His lower stomach seemed to be wiggling and tight... He blushed.

Jullien took notice of it and laughed again. "Nice room," he said, avoiding making Gaibriel blush any harder. "Mind if I sit on your bed?"

Gaibriel shook his head. He hadn't moved from his spot at the door. Jullien sat down and held up his arm. His finger crooked in a beckoning gesture once, then twice. Gaibriel's stomach lurched. Somehow that lurch seemed to control his arm, because he found himself closing his door and making his way over to the bed.

He wasn't stupid. He knew what Jullien was there for and what was coming as soon as he sat on the bed. He was, however, nervous and very shaky. His knees seemed too wobbly to support him as he made his way to Jullien. His room had never seemed quite this long before...

He took the time to study Jullien closely. The man was sitting down, leaning back on his arms. The position caused his shirt to ride up even higher, exposing pale soft skin. His legs were spread provocatively, the leather pulled even tighter against his thighs. His eyes traveled higher up Jullien's leg slowly, his lower body tightening the entire time. Gaibriel's eyes widened at what he saw and his knees really almost did give out.

Jullien was sporting a very noticeable, very large bulge in his pants. Gaibriel stopped in front of him, frozen to the spot. He was aware of his own bulge now, and found that he couldn't care less.

Jullien smiled and slid off the bed, kneeling in front of Gaibriel. "You want it this way," he purred. Gaibriel's mouth fell open and he almost didn't recognize the sound of the moan that came out of him. Jullien seemed more than happy to oblige, reaching up and unfastening Gaibriel's pants. He felt rather than saw Jullien tug down his clothes. He looked down, his eyes meeting Jullien's. The blonde man licked his lips, then opened his mouth just a little. He leaned forward, his lips kissing the tip of Gaibriel's now straining erection.

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Gaibriel moaned, fully annoyed at the loud continuous beeping. Forcing his eyes open, he moaned again in disappointment and frustration. He grabbed the sheets to push them aside, then grimaced. Wet... and a little sticky too.

'Great,' he thought, 'a wet dream. Just what I need.' Looking down, he noticed as well that his lower body wasn't in much better condition. He would need to take a shower before school this morning. Sighing heavily, he quickly made his way into the bathroom and took another shower. He wondered sarcastically if he'd set a world record doing so. Dashing downstairs for breakfast, he barely made it outside in time for the bus.

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"Homework tonight... Read the rest of this chapter and write a one page typed report on what we have read so far. It cannot be any longer than one page. The font must be Times New Roman and the size 10. No bigger, no smaller. You will be able to use this paper on the test Friday so be complete. Dismissed."

Mrs. Baker waved her hand to the students who were already packing up in anticipation of the bell ringing. Gaibriel stood up and made his way over to her desk. Leaning down, he whispered, "Mrs. Baker, can I talk to you after class about something?"

"If it's about why you feel asleep yesterday and can't pay attention today, yes. Otherwise, no."

Gaibriel nodded. "That's what it's about."

"Are your books - " She was cut off by the bell ringing and all the students clamoring to their next class. As soon as things had quieted down, she continued. "Are your books packed?"

He nodded.

"Good. Close the door and lock it, then come here."

He did as she asked, pulling up a chair to sit in front of her desk. "Mrs. Baker," he started right away, not wasting any time, "what do you do if all of a sudden you can't think of anything else except one thing in life?"

"That would depend, Mr. Rosenburg. Is this thing a job skill? A person? Jullien, perhaps?"

Gaibriel blushed and looked down. "Something like that. I can't focus on anything else. No matter how hard I try, it just seems like futile. The harder I try not to think about it, the more I do think about it."

"Well, to be completely blunt, it sounds like you need to stop and realize what's more important in your life at the moment. This thing or your school work. Then you need to realize that sometimes pushing something under the rug isn't the correct way to deal with it. Some things have to be dealt with before they will go away. It's just the way the world works sometimes. You're a very smart young man, Mr. Rosenburg. Don't let something, or some one, ruin your chances."

Gaibriel nodded, looking back up at her. Her advice was sound and true, but not what he'd wanted to hear. He couldn't just deal with Jullien. That would mean.... That would mean facing the answer to the question of his sexuality. As well as realizing and dealing with his own way of life as compared to Jullien's. He wasn't sure if he could handle either separately, much less together at the same time. Despite this, he nodded to her. "Thank you, Mrs. Baker. I'll get this all straightened out."

She smiled and stood, opening the door and letting him out before letting her next class in. Gaibriel made his way to gym quickly, feeling like he was slowly going to drown.