Unforgivables

- - you gave me reviews! I am so happy. I truly hope you enjoy this chapter. I had some cruel stuff to shove into this one but after that I just couldn’t do it....tho be warned it will come later. Bad stuff has to happen. But for now...I’ll attempt to be nice...enjoy.


It was dark. For a moment I didn’t know where I was. It was darker then it usually was so I was completely thrown off. I knew I was laying on a bed, I was in clothes that felt like they where made of plastic, and it was darker then it should have been. I groaned feeling nauseous and kept my eyes closed. After effects of that blasted drug. Oh. That’s right. That is what happened.

“Morning sleepy head.” someone said from beside me. I jumped out of my skin and sat up backing against the wall my bed was beside. The guy laughed at me and gave me a smile. He was no older then seventeen. His blonde hair was cut in a shaggy style and though his eyes were blue there was nothing beyond them. I’d never looked into someone’s eyes like that. “Silly. I’m not going to hurt you.”

I was in a mental institution and he was telling me he wasn’t going to hurt me? In hell. I’d been here before. I knew what happened in places like this. I knew what they gave you if you did something wrong and I knew what the people here were capable of. I’d been hurt in a place like this before in more ways then one. Bullshit that he wasn’t going to hurt me when he didn’t know what the hell he was doing!

“My my you are a quiet one.” he crawled up so he was right in my face. His eyes bearing into mine. “And my goodness look at your eyes. Quite magnificent. ‘Thine eyes shall hear a word behind thee, saying This is the way, walk ye in it’. Do you know that?” I shook my head. “It’s from the bible. Most people don’t know the bible very well.”

I was stuck in a room with a crazy person who loved bible verses. Wonderful. That was just wonderful. He reminded me of Joan of Arc. Well, but for being the guy part. That was probably it. He probably thought he could talk to God or something. I was going to wake up and be crucified against the wall, I knew it. Either that or he would perform some weird religious ritual one me.

“Understood.?” He set his hand on my head. “I understand you now. ‘If you endeavor to embrace the Way through much learning, the Way will not understood. If you observe the Way with simplicity of heart, great indeed is this Way.’. That was said by a Buddhist priest.” he took his hand from my head. “Do you understand now?” I shook my head and he sighed. “It’s a bunch of overly analyzed bullshit. That is the point I am trying to make. Overly analyzed. All of it.”

This guy was completely confusing. Just when you thought he was one thing he turned around and slapped you in the face with it. I didn’t understand him. If he hated religion so much then why did he know so much about it? As far as I was concerned religion was stupid but I knew jack shit about it.


“In order,” he said as he stood. “To comprehend you must understand.” he looked down at me and smiled. “I like to know everything before I make a choice. For example.” he walked over to his bed and picked up a piece of paper. It was handed to me and on it was a list of hundreds of types of religions. “Interesting isn’t it? ‘Do not speak - unless it improves on silence’. Am I correct?”

“You’re smart.” I heard myself mutter to him. He was. He was incredibly smart. The notes he had on the paper were amazing. Then again I didn’t know anything about it so it could have been just a bunch of bullshit. Even still everything looked to be perfectly in order. He even had the damn thing alphabetized.

“‘The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances’.” he took the paper from he and set it back on his bed. “Besides,” he looked back at me. “Doesn’t matter in here does it? When the chilly air meets an even colder heart it doesn’t do much good now does it? Just doubles the cold right?” I nodded just to amuse him since I had no clue what the hell he was trying to tell me. “Are they real?” he looked at the floor. “The voices...are they real?”

The voices? My voices? Not only was he confusing but he was vague. Someone in an asylum should really know to be specific when everyone around them heard voices. Even then he couldn’t be talking about the voices I heard. He didn’t know about them. Clearly I had not told him and no human could read minds.

He looked back at me. It was scary to look into eyes that were so blank. No one who had thoughts like him, who could think like him, should have such blank eyes. If anything his eyes should have been full of life and thought. “You talk to them...in your sleep. Did you know that? They sound like horrible people. They sound like they hurt you. I don’t understand why they should want to hurt you.”

“Neither do I.” it occurred to me then that I did not know his name. He had not once said it to me. Not that I remembered hearing at least. Then again it was hard to keep up with him. He could have very well said his name in some weird way and I wouldn’t have got it. “Your name?”

“I don’t have a name.” he stood again and looked up at the ceiling. “‘Open the eyes of the mind, and break through the darkness of ignorance. And close the roads of all evils. Then, unto the Land of Purity we will be led’. Such a goal cannot be accomplished with things that distract you. A name is a title. I wish to have no such thing as a title.”

“You have the title of insanity.” and I could really see why now. His parents must have gone through hell with him. I was going through hell with him and I had only been talking to him for a few minutes.

He sort of tensed at that. Like I had just insulted him in the worst way possible. “A title people give me because they do not know what else to call me. People are afraid. They need such things as religion and titles so they have something to hold onto when their life is hell. It’s why heaven was created.” he looked back at me. “An idea someone had because they couldn’t deal with their own life. They needed to believe that there was somewhere perfect for them to go after their shit hole of a life was over.”

That made sense. Religion was just an idea. I knew that people were insecure. I just had never given it much thought. I didn’t feel the need to waste my time thinking about things as trivial as that. What other people thought was none of my business. “Do you want to know my name?”

“No.” he answered. “I don’t. Your name is just a title and if you are going to live in this room with me then I would prefer not to know your title. I cannot stop you from telling me your name if you want to of course.” he fell back against his bed. “It’s your choice. If you want me to know your name best tell me now and get it over with.”

“Christopher.” I told him. It was mostly just to piss him off. To see what made him tick. If he was going to play fucking mind games with me then I would with him. “My name is Christopher.”

He was silent a moment. “You like logical thought, patients, and silence. You have a routine that you follow and wont let yourself be happy. You like to be in a place where you have stability and can take step-by-step choices. You have an incredible lack of self-confidence also.”

I couldn’t move. I just sat there staring at him for the longest time. Was he a fucking encyclopedia or something? Jesus Christ! It was like looking my name up in the dictionary and seeing all about myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew my birthday from just my name also. “You’re annoying.”

A chuckle came from him but he didn’t move from his spot. “And you are incredibly adorable but I wasn’t going to say anything.” he was silent a moment and I could almost feel the seriousness leaking off him. “They haven’t spoken to you in a while. Why is that?”

He was right. The only person I had heard since I had woken up was him. Him and his annoying sayings and beliefs. “I don’t know.” at that moment I wished they would come back. Maybe they could drown him out and I wouldn’t have to listen to him anymore. At least they didn’t shove things I didn’t understand down my throat.

He sat up and looked at me again. “When you want to talk about it I’ll listen. ‘It’s only with the heart that one can see clearly; what’s essential is invisible to the eye’.”

“That another bible verse?” I asked him.

“It’s from the story ‘The little Prince’.” He answered. “You should read it sometime.”

The door opened and there was a man in a white suit standing there. I felt fear like no other sweep through me then. I hated those men. Hated what they did to me. All of a sudden they were all there. Screaming in my head like someone had opened a flood gate and let them wash over my mind. I buried my head between my legs and my chest and clamped my eyes shut. I was trying to get away...trying to get away from all of it. From the voices, from that man, from this place, and from that guy. A guy who I didn’t even know his name. A guy who on any other person’s terms was insane.

“Come with me.” the guard muttered. God please don’t let him be talking to me. Please oh please do not let him be talking to me. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle talking to a therapist or having drugs shoved in me again. I couldn’t handle it.

“As you command.” I heard him say and looked up just as the door closed. I was alone. God I was finally alone. No one was there with me and I was finally safe in my little room.

“Hey there...Christopher...”

A/N : Wellllllll....what do you think? At least I didn’t have anything completely bad happen. Oh, and if ‘The Guy’ doesn’t seem strange enough to you yet...just wait. Oh, just you wait. Other then that I have nothing more to say. REVIEW OR YOU WILL NEVER SEE ANOTHER CHAPTER EVER AGAIN!!! Oh, yes, I will keep that threat. I check this thing every goddamn night so I will know. I will know... I have a log book...(yes...overly organized)...so I will know.