The Dehumanization of Ethan Brown

Ethan went over to the condo that evening to ask Leslie what she intended to do about the joint bank accounts. Ethan smelled the odor of another man on Leslie. He couldn’t believe he was replaced so quickly. Mike Taylor from Vice came out of the shower wearing only a towel. “Hi, Taylor. I just came over to discuss what do about our finances,” Ethan said, as he looked around the downstairs. There was a large screen TV and a dining room set. Apparently, Leslie didn\'t feel the need to do without since Ethan was gone. Leslie claimed that she didn\'t have the time to buy furniture but one day without Ethan and there was a television and dining room set. She probably had ordered new furniture for Ethan\'s old room.

“I’ll go upstairs,” Mike said. “Don’t mind me.”

“You left me a notarized deed for the condo,” Leslie said. “I already took my name of the joint accounts. You can keep the remaining money.”

“Thanks, Leslie,” Ethan said.

“How can you live in that house?”

\"I lived there my first seven years. After my father\'s house is sold, we\'ll use the money to make improvements on the house. I can see us building another storage shed and possible extention.” Ethan liked that it smelled like family. He didn\'t care about new furniture or new carpeting.

“You have everything planned.” Leslie sat on the sofa.

“I can’t believe how fast I was replaced.” Ethan stood over her not sitting down.

“He’s just spending the night. You’re sleeping with Juan.”

Ethan started counting on his fingers. “And his wife, his mother, his five children and anyone that wants to stop by for the night. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

\"I know what I saw.\"

\"He is like that with everyone,\" Ethan explained. \"He was just trying to put me at ease. Werewolves crave affection. Touch sooths the beast inside.\" Ethan broke the rules by getting off on Juan. The touch of his kind was should have been only affection. He shouldn\'t have let himself use Juan that way. Juan knew that Ethan wanted him sexually and that put him in a vulerable position.

“How cou wou without privacy?”

“I’ve lived in communes most of my childhood. Bonnie and I spent close to seven years with the pack. I then lived in a dorm until my father bought me this condo. Then, I made my space in the smallest room in the house leaving the rest of it empty. I don\'t do good in large spaces.” Ethan didn\'t care for the privacy. He felt like he was going mad every night that he spent alone and having Leslie in the larger bedroom above him only made it worse because he knew that his touch might kill her. Fortunately, her pheromones didn\'t affect him the way Ria and Juan\'s did, but then again she wasn\'t pack.

“My father called you white trash. You don’t have to prove him right.”

“It’s a different society, different rules,” shouted Ethan. “That’s what I study when I study biology, sociology and anthropology. Wolves huddle together to keep warm and protect the cubs. It isn’t the same thing as what you do with Taylor.”

“Now you\'re getting personal; they’re still white trash.”

“The Lopezes are Sephardic,” said Ethan. The white trash commented shouldn\'t have bothered him; werewolves always lived on the outside of human culture, eating garbage and wearing rags. “The original curse was placed on a small Jewish community in Spain. A so-called Christian paid a gypsy to curse a Jewish shopkeeper and his family.”

“Are you sure that isn sto story they just tell you?”

“I wasn’t alive in the thirteenth century. Other packs have other stories so it might be true. My father was killed by a pack that claimed to originate in Germany. The Buffalo pack claims the same Germany origin but we\'re on good terms with them. Their history isn\'t as old as ours. That curse was supposed to be laid in the eighteenth century. The curse on my people goes back to the thirteenth century.”

“You must come across ones with the same story as you.”

Ethan would rather talk about pack history than his own problems. “Grandmother tried to gather our history while Bonnie and I were staying with them. She found a pack with the same story living in the Pyrenees. We probably splintered from them centuries ago.”

“Someone today could become a werewolf by a curse?” Leslie crossed her hands on her lap, trying to keep her leg from shaking.

“If someone knew the technique,” Ethan said. “I don’t dabble in the black arts.”

“I don’t care if you know your history; you’re a college graduate. You deserve to live better than that.” Leslie\'s voice was getting louder.

“You have no right to judge me. You were born into money. What do you know? I was proud of Camilla when she told the social worker from Ria’s school that she wasn’t interested in food stamps and she didn’t take charity.”

“Do most packs live as poorly you?”

“The Lopezes aren’t poor. They have a roof over their head and food in their bellies. So they are below the level that our government considers to be the poverty level. In other countries, they would be considered filthy rich.”

“I’m surprised the social worker didn’t lecture her about birth control.” Leslie stretched her hand in front of her.

“She would have been stepping out of bounds. The Lopez children are loved and Ria is looking forward to having children of her own.”

Leslie gave Ethan a dirty look. “Your children.”

Mike came down wearing jeans and tee shirt. “I noticed you weren’t talking money.”

“Leslie has been talking money the whole fucking time. She thinks the family that I’m living with is trailer trash.”

“As long they have running water,” Mike said.

“No working water heater, but lots running water.” Ethan left. After all they had been through, it was over. Ethan wouldn’t be returning to the townhouse. They still had each other’s medical power of attorney; there was no point in involving others in their secrets.

---

\"You don\'t have to let me stay rent-free,\" Ethan said.

“You buy my children clothing; it\'s the least I can do,” Juan said. “Besides, the value of the land will go up once you make improvement to the property.”

“We have only discussed repairs and a possible addition,” Ethan said.

“I can’t believe how comfortable you\'re here.”

“I’ve being hunting with the adolescents since I started at Syracuse.” Ethan snuggled against Juan as Tony came into the room.

“Did you finish your studies for the day?” Juan asked.

“Yes, Dad,” Tony said, “and the dogs are feed.”

“I want you to have an easier life than my father,” Juan said.

“I never met the man,” Tony said.

“He worked in a factory most of his life,” Juan said.

“Most pack members have ordinary jobs,” Tony said. “There is no shame in laying bricks or working in the quarry.”

“He’s right,” Ethan said. “I had hoped to be a college professor and I’m now a cop.”

“We’re having adult conversation,” Juan said to his son.

“I’m an adult; I’m thirteen.”

“I didn’t think we practiced Judaism since the fourteenth century,” said Ethan.

“I think it was the fifteenth; I’ll have to ask dmotdmother,” Juan said before he started to lick Ethan’s ear.

Ethan whispered, “You shouldn’t do that.”

“I won’t do it if it bothers you.” Juan put his head on Ethan’s chest.

“I’m going over a friend’s house,” Tony said.

“Pack?” Juan asked.

“No, I’ll be back before dark,” Tony said as he walked out the door.

“You shouldn’t fondle me in front of the kids,” Ethan said.

“I fondle you and everybody else. Don’t think you’re that great. You feel good.” Juan returned to fondling Ethan’s chest hair. “Ethan, the children are aware of their bodies. I gave Tony the lecture about not getting his sisters pregnant. I’m getting him a wife as soon as possible.”

“Kiss me.” Ethan lifted Juan’s chin and lifted his face so their eyes met. Ethan opened his mouth slightly and placed his lips against Juan’s. Juan responded in kind. Ethan felt like his tonsils were going to be pulled out. “Wow.”

“Nice? I’ll take good care of you.” Juan put his hand ohan’han’s hard-on. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

“After two years, Leslie and I have never.” Ethan pulled away.

“Let me.”

“Ria could come through that door.” Ethan got up from the sofa.

“I gave her enough money to go out to a movie with her girlfriends. We sold a couple puppies this morning. Camilla is out buying the baby clothes. She’ll eat at the mall. We have time.”

“I’ve been so comfortable here. Please, don’t ruin it.”

“Your father was wrong to tell you to be celibate all your life. You need to express your sexuality. I try to marry pack members soon after they mature. Louise is marrying this month and your other sister will when the weather is warmer. I’m talking to three packs about Marla. I want the best for all my adolescents.”

“I’m not an fucking adolescent.”

“You shouldn’t feel ashamed of your sexuality. Share it with me. It’s beautiful.” Juan put his hands out to Ethan.

“Join me. We can go to a bedroom if you prefer.”

“Juan, my hand works just fine.” Ethan looked at his feet.

“What difference would it make if it was my hand?”

“Lots.”

“A hand is a hand. You should have had a wife for ten years. I can’t give you back those years. Please, sit with me.”

Ethan put some clothes on. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back to hunt with Tony and Ria tonight.”

“Why must you fight something that feels good?”

“My sexuality isn’t a game.”

“I didn’t think it was. Al wanted you to bottle it away like you weren’t fucking human. It’s unnatural for a man to go without relief.”

“You set it up so we would be alone.” Ethan stepped toward the door.

“I didn’t know that the couple would pick up the puppies today.” Juan got up from the sofa. “I want you to be comfortable with me.”

“You blew it then.”

“Your sexuality is a gift. You should be sharing it with someone instead of keeping it to yourself. Al was so wrong.”

Ethan walked out the door. He felt trapped. He needed the pack for survival but he didn’t want Juan to treat him like a possession. He wondered if Leslie wanted ice cream as he dialed her number on his cell phone.

“Leslie, you still own me an ice cream.”

“I’d love to meet you at our favorite ice cream parlor,” Leslie said.

“I’ll see you there in ten minutes.” Ethan felt his pockets for his car keys. Ethan arrived at the ice cream parlor before Leslie and stood near the door.

“Let’s get a seat,” Leslie said as she arrived. “What happened?”

“Juan made a fucking pass at me,” Ethan said.

Leslie walked Ethan to a booth after the noticing the seat yourself sign. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m sorry that I laughed at you. You were right about Juan.” Ethan looked at the menu although he had decided that he didn’t want food only a sundae. “I feel like I have no fucking choice. He’s my alpha.”

“You can’t tell him no.”

“Not for long. He’s right. It felt good to be near someone and not be afraid that I could hurt him. He tries to be a good alpha but he\'s still young.”

The waitress took their order.

“Ethan, you shouldn’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do.” Leslie looked into Ethan’s blue eyes.

“I can’t fucking refuse him. You don’t understand.” Ethan didn\'t want to refuse him.n man made him feel things that he never felt before. He didn\'t know the rules of the game. Did Juan want him to fight or give into his desire? He couldn\'t afford to lose -- the price was too high.

“Are you going to go back and tell him that?”

“I won’t say a fucking thing.”

“That is unlike you to give up.” Leslie touched Ethan’s face. “You told me no for better than a year.”

“Because I was afraid that I could hurt you.” Ethan started to cry silently. \"I hated that I used your age as an excuse.\"

“You’re hurting. Just say the word and your room is yours.”

“And Mike.”

“He has an apartment. I could see him there.” Leslie touched Ethan’s lip with her thumb.

“It’s too late for us. I’m promised to Ria. Juan is my alpha; I have to obey him. Leslie, I shouldn’t have told you.”

“I don’t mind listening to you talk.” Leslie took Ethan’s hand in her. “I miss hearing your constant chatter. Frank hardly speaks when we’re on stake out.\"

“Are you okay?”

“I’m managing.” Leslie was silent as the waitress brought their orders to the table. “Eat your sundae. You’re a growing boy.”

“I feel like a kid near Juan. He has five children and two more on the way. He treats me like one of the adolescents in the pack. I’m only seven years younger than him.” Ethan dug into his ice cream.

“Talk to him about what you\'re feeling.”

Ethan didn\'t want to babble to Juan. He needed to look strong in front of his alpha. \"You could have dated Mike while living in my house. It wasn\'t like we were dating.\"

“People saw it that way.”

“How long you think you’ll need to know if Mike is the one?”

“I thought you were the one.”

“I wish I w

“Ethan, I’m sorry.”