Moonlight Denial: Shades of Moonlight Book One

Nicoli was flying. The wind rushed over him as he sailed through the air at great speeds. It was exhilarating. There was no limit to how far or how fast he could go and the land that raced under him was nothing but a blur.

Aside from the wind the only sound that reached his ears was the flapping of great, magnificent wings. They jutted out from his back and were covered in beautiful, silky feathers that were every shade of gray imaginable. With his wings he was able to twist this way and that and dive for several feet before swooping upwards to the sky once more.

He was free and he was happy. His laughter rained over the landscape as he flew. There was no worry. There was no fear. There was only him and the sky. It wasn’t long, however, until his mighty wings began to grow tired and he knew he would have to rest soon.

He began a gentle descent, gliding over the land until he found a hill he could settle on until he was ready for flight once more. As he drew closer and closer to the hill something caught his eye. There was a glint of the sunlight reflecting off something. He drew his wings in so he could descend faster to investigate.

When his feet met earth the grass tickled his bare soles, but he ignored it as he tucked his wings in and walked over to what had caught his attention. He dropped to his knees next to it and sadness welled in his chest.

It was a robin. Just an ordinary, pretty little robin, but someone had made sure the little bird would never fly again. It lay on its back, its wings spread at odd angles and its feet sticking straight up. Protruding from its chest was a thin silver arrow and dark red blood stained the orange feathers of its chest.

Nicoli reached out his hand to stroke the poor dead creature, but could not bring himself to touch it.

“Who could do such a thing?” he whispered.

He gasped and fell back when, right before his eyes, the bird began to rot and decompose. Its feathers curled and melted away and its body caved in, showing its bones and organs before those became ash and it disintegrated.

Nicoli stared in horror at the arrow that was now nestled in a pile of what was left of the robin. He rose to his feet and backed away as the grass around the dead robin began to wither and turn black. It soon spread and he watched as the whole landscape was infected and all the trees and beauty around him began to die and turn ugly. He took in the horrendous scene around him before everything turned black.

He twisted and looked around, but the dead landscape and everything in it was gone. He was left standing in eternal darkness and fear fluttered in his chest. He jumped when from within the eerie blackness someone laughed.

“H-Hello?” he called out. For a second there was no reply, but then the laugh came again. It was not happy laughter, but evil, sinister laughter. He looked everywhere he could, but he could see nothing through the darkness. Then a voice sounded.

“Who killed Cock Robin?” it asked.

Goosebumps erupted over Nicoli’s skin and the feathers on his wings ruffled. The voice chilled him to his core and he didn’t know why. Something in the back of his head told him he knew that voice, but he could not place it.

“Who killed Cock Robin?” the voice asked again when Nicoli had remained silent.

His teeth began to chatter. He was scared. Something inside him told him that he was scared of whoever the voice belonged to and that he shouldn’t answer.

“Who killed Cock Robin?”

The question was more insistent this time. Nicoli didn’t know what to do. Finally, he decided to answer.

“‘I-I,’ said the Sparrow.”

Laughter echoed from the darkness and Nicoli covered his ears. He didn’t want to hear it.

“‘I,’ said the Sparrow,” the voice repeated.

Nicoli jumped as something soft brushed against his head. He blinked when a feather floated to the ground. He looked up when more feathers rained down on him, brushing against his face and arms. His fingers snatched one and he examined it. It was a glossy, light brown feather, rimmed with white and darker brown streaks raced along it. The feather of a sparrow.

“‘I,’ said the Sparrow. ‘With my bow and arrow-” Nicoli screamed as searing pain pierced through his back and the lethal tip of an arrow erupted from his chest. “I killed Cock Robin.”

Nicoli’s entire body was numb with shock and ragged breaths drew from his mouth. He coughed and gasped and blood poured from the sides of his mouth. He slowly looked down at the arrow protruding from his chest. He had to get it out. With shaking hands he reached up and grabbed the shaft that was showing, but the moment he touched it the arrow crumbled into nothing. It left behind a gaping hole in his chest and blood oozed from the opening and cascaded down his stomach, dying him red.

He stumbled, his legs growing weak, but he was able to stay on his feet. He covered the wound with his hands, trying to stop the bleeding, but the blood flowed heavier in response.

“Who saw him die?” the voice went on, making light of Nicoli’s dire situation. He gasped, causing more blood to bubble from his mouth, when a giant, wicked eye appeared before him. It stared at him with a crimson iris and its pupil was nothing but a black slit that ran down it. “‘I,’ said the Fly. ‘With my little eye, I saw him die.’” Then it disappeared.

Nicoli’s knees buckled again. He was too weak. He was losing too much blood. His legs gave out completely and he began to fall. His collapse was diverted as hands grabbed him from behind. Arms wound around him and held him up, saving him from his fall.

Nicoli took in deep, shaking breaths, trying to feed his lungs with oxygen even as blood began to pool in them. The person that had prevented him from falling held him tenderly, their body pressing against the back of his drooped wings, and a nose nuzzled his ear lovingly.

“Who’ll be chief mourner?” the person said. It was the same wicked voice from before, but now it was in his ear and spoke much softer and gentler now. A kiss was placed on his jaw right underneath his ear. “‘I,’ said the Dove. ‘I mourn for my love, I’ll be chief mourner.’”

Nicoli closed his eyes and listened to his raspy breathing as more kisses were now placed on his neck as he stood limp in the person’s arms.

“W-Who…?” he asked, and more blood gurgled from his mouth.

“Oh, Nicoli,” the voice said. A man. A man’s voice. A man’s voice that he knew, but could not place. “You tear me apart every time you ask that. “Who are you?” “Who are you?” It’s such a terrible thing to say to me. You know me. They may have robbed you of your memories, but your entire being remembers me. Every cell, every molecule knows me and they will never be able to take that away.”

The man’s hands ran down his body while still holding him up. He shuddered in revulsion. The man was right. He may not have known who the man was, but his body seemed to know that it was repulsed by the touches laid upon it.

He wanted to ask so many more questions, but he was choking on his blood and no words could squeeze out.

“Easy, easy, don’t fight it,” the man cooed, kissing his throat again as Nicoli coughed and blood sprayed out into the darkness. “I know what you’re thinking. How do you know me? Why is this happening? All questions I will be happy to answer once we are reunited.”

“W-When – ghhkk.” Another spray of blood.

The man laughed against his ear and Nicoli whimpered as best he could

“Soon, my Robin, soon,” the man said. “I’m getting closer. Every second I’m fighting my way towards you so we can be together. Then, once you are mine again, I will own every part of you. Your mind, your body, and your delicious soul.”

Nicoli cried out as the man’s fingers delved into his wound, causing the blood to flood from him and he could feel himself growing weaker and weaker. This man was going to be the death of him.

The man chuckled in his ear and teeth that were impossibly sharp nipped his ear lobe.

“It’s too bad I couldn’t get to you in time before those wretched vampires damaged your beautiful body.” One of the hands disappeared from his front and ran down his scarred back. “I’ll make sure to get them back for that, but that will come later.”

Nicoli almost couldn’t hear him anymore. His vision was fading and he was drifting in and out of consciousness.

“Such a tired little thing. I suppose I shall stop playing with you for now, my little Robin. We shall be seeing each other soon on the physical plane anyways and then I can have my fill of fun with you.” One of the hands grabbed Nicoli’s chin and tilted his head upwards. The man’s lips pressed against the side of his ear and a horrible, soul trembling growl issued from them. “And this time, no one will take you away from me.”

The hands disappeared and Nicoli was falling through the darkness. He tumbled head over feet and his wings began to disintegrate feather by feather. There was no way to stop his fall and he could feel himself reaching some sort of end. Before he hit it the man’s voice sounded above him.

“All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing, when they heard the bell toll for poor…Cock…Robin.”

************************************************************************

Nicoli woke up with a gasp. He stared at his bedroom ceiling with wide eyes as he panted heavily. He slowly looked around, getting his bearings as his heart slowed from its frantic beating. When he was sure he was safe and secure he took in a deep breath and released it.

“Just another fuckin’ nightmare,” he growled. He seemed to be having more and more lately, but he was pretty sure why he’d have one now. After being in Dimitri’s clutches he would have been surprised if he didn’t have a nightmare or two. He couldn’t remember what had happened in the nightmare, but he was sure evil, tall vampires and whips were involved.

Nicoli rolled over onto his side, careful not to kick Beethoven, who was at the end of the bed, and snuggled down to go back to sleep. Sleep would not be easily obtained when he noticed a slow, subtle burn growing in his right eye.

“Oh, no,” he muttered, laying perfectly still, hoping it would be a false alarm like those he had had before. That was not the case as an eruption of pain blossomed in his eye and seared through his entire skull.

Gurgles of pain slipped through his clenched teeth as he gripped the side of his head. He tried to see if he could ride it out, but when it felt like a jackhammer was crushing his skull he knew he needed his medication.

He fumbled with the light on his bedside table and hissed when he turned it on. He slipped out of bed and stumbled his was to the bedroom door. He leaned against it for a second to gather his strength and to wipe away the tears that were clouding his eyes. He quietly left his bedroom and made it to the staircase landing. He stared down the stairs. In his disoriented state it was going to be a miracle if he made it down without killing himself, but he needed his pills.

His knuckles were white as he gripped the railing as hard as he could as he descended.
His muscles were shaking and using all of his concentration was making his eye throb worse. He was almost near the bottom when his foot landed on the next step wrong. There was no time to get his balance back and he ended up tumbling down the last few steps.

A pitiful groan left Nicoli as he lay in a pathetic ball on the floor. Now his body hurt along with his eye. He would have wondered if the fall had woken up his parents, but at the moment he didn’t care as he got up on hands and knees and crawled the rest of the way to the bathroom.

When he got there he rose up onto his knees to turn on the light, cursing when it felt like a spike went through his brain from the illumination. The tile squeaked as he crawled across it and he used the sink to heft himself up. Everything in the medicine cabinet was knocked around until he found his prescription bottle. He nearly ripped off the top and when he had a pill in his shaking hand he popped it in his mouth as quick as possible. The faucet rumbled as it was turned on and he bent to take deep gulps of the gushing water.

When the pill was down he stayed draped over the sink after turning off the water. He was exhausted now. He mustered up enough will to move over to the toilet and sit down.

“I hate this sooo much,” he grumbled when he sat back a leaned the back of his head against the wall. He had loved the three years when he had had no eye pain whatsoever and now it was happening every other day it seemed. He supposed that’s what he got for getting himself into such stressful situations. Maybe he just needed a vacation.

A whine made his eyes blink open and he looked down to see Beethoven standing in front of him. Beethoven whined again and lifted his paw up onto Nicoli’s knee.

“Hey, Boy, come here,” Nicoli said, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around his dog. He drew comfort from lying across Beethoven’s shoulder and back and counted down from one hundred as he waited for his pain-killer to kick in.

He loved Beethoven so much. Since they had returned from Thanksgiving at the Fairbrooke house Beethoven had been with him constantly. Wherever he went his golden pooch had not been far behind and would take every opportunity to lie across Nicoli’s lap or simply have a paw resting on some part of his owner.

Nicoli supposed that Beethoven knew something had happened to him. Something that would make him need constant companionship to help him through it. It amazed Nicoli how strong animal intuition could be, but he was thankful for it all the same.

Nicoli ran his hand over Beethoven’s back over and over as the fire in his eye began to diminish. He sat up and sighed when the pain dwindled down to a bearable throb.

“Thank you, Beethoven. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said, scratching Beethoven’s ears and kissing the top of his head. After he got a few licks in return he stood up and looked at the mess he had made. Some water had splashed around the sink and there were bottles of this and that strewn about the counter and floor. He really hoped his parents had slept through it all.

He quickly cleaned everything up and made sure everything was in order before turning off the light and feeling his way through the darkness back up the stairs, Beethoven not far behind.

When he got to his room he leaned back against the door and sighed. He really needed to keep his pills and some water with him at all times. Late night excursions to the bathroom were just too taxing, especially when he was crippled by pain.

He trudged his way back to the bed and sat down.

“Come on, Beethoven. Let’s go back to sleep,” he said, patting the bed, but Beethoven didn’t move. Nicoli furrowed his brows when Beethoven’s tail began to wag and he did his antsy paw to paw dance. “What are you doing?” Nicoli asked, but Beethoven wasn’t looking at him anymore, he was looking near the end of the bed.

Nicoli did too, but saw nothing, but he was able to feel something. His bed had become very cold and there was a high concentration of the chill just a few feet from him. From experience he knew what that kind of phenomenon meant.

“Felix?” he called out.

There was no response and Nicoli thought he was going crazy. The, out of nowhere, there was a laugh and a figure materialized at the end of the bed, making Nicoli jump in surprise.

“Heh, you’re getting better at knowing when I’m around, Meatbag. Kudos,” Felix said with a modest clap.

“Felix, don’t fucking do that,” Nicoli snapped as his heart pounded in his chest.

“Awe, come on, I gotta keep you on your toes,” Felix said with a smirk. “I’m not about to go easy on you just because you were a prisoner of war for a couple days.”

“You are such an ass,” Nicoli snarled.

“I try,” Felix said with a shrug. “So, how was your Thanksgiving?” he asked, doing a complete switch.

Nicoli glared at him, but decided to jump on Felix’s rare pleasantness.

“It was good. It went a lot better than I thou…wait a minute. Felix, where the hell have you been?” he asked, remembering the ghost had been MIA for a day. “Ethan has been looking everywhere for you. He’s been really worried. “

“I know he’s been looking for me,” Felix said nonchalantly as he pet Beethoven’s head, who had put his front paws on the bed to receive attention. “I kept having to dodge his ass in the cemetery. He’s a persistent bastard, I’ll give him that.”

“You’ve been in the cemetery this whole time?” Nicoli asked, finding that odd and even more strange that Felix had been avoiding Ethan of all people.

“Mmhmm, I was trying to think, get all my thoughts together, you know? Though that was hard since Ethan kept popping up every few minutes.”

“What did you have to think that hard about?” Nicoli asked.

Felix sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and gnawed on it a bit. When the gears were done turning in his head he released the lip and ran his fingers through his hair.

“You know about what happened to me, don’t you?” he asked.

It felt like Nicoli’s gut had twisted in on itself and all the hair on his body prickled. He cleared his throat before nodding.

“Yeah…Meier told me that he was the one that killed you.”

Felix sighed.

“I figured as much, so I’m also assuming that you know of Ethan’s and my history together.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah, he mentioned that too,” Nicoli said, and for the first time really thought about it. At one point Ethan and Felix had been together, they had been lovers. It had been Felix who was showered with Ethan’s touches and kisses and, possibly, even his undying love. A heated knot coiled in his chest and he could feel heat pool in his scalp. He had no idea where that feeling was coming from or what it even meant, but Felix’s next words put it out of his mind completely.

“Well, drat, looks like I’ll need to go through with this after all.”

“Go through with what?” Nicoli asked, tilting his head.

“Look, I hate it when people tell my story. It just irks me to no end because they’re not me, they can’t tell everything that needs to be told and no matter how minimal the information is that Meier told you I want to set the record straight.”

Nicoli blinked and it took a while for him to process what Felix was getting at.

“Wait, you’re actually going to tell me about what happened to you?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, but don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not doing this so we can have some kind of bonding moment and become friends forever. I’m doing this so you can have all the facts and no misconceptions about me or about what the hell is going on.” His face became solemn and he averted his eyes. “I’m also doing this for another reason.”

“What’s that?”

“Nicoli, Ethan is in great danger,” Felix said, looking back at Nicoli and while his gaze was stern, there was also a hint of fear in his eyes.

“Danger? What kind of danger?”

“He’s in danger of getting himself killed by Meier. Ethan is such a compassionate and caring soul and when he loves someone its hard for him to let go of that love, even if he is betrayed so brutally. What I mean is that no matter what happens Ethan will probably never be able to kill Meier, ever. No matter what Meier has done to him, Ethan will always be clouded by the love they used to share as brothers. Unfortunately, Meier doesn’t have that same reservation. If given the opportunity, if Ethan shows even the slightest hesitance, Meier will kill Ethan.”

Nicoli swallowed a thick lump in his throat. A part of him wanted to believe that Ethan wouldn’t just lie down and die at the hands of his brother. That he would be able to stand and fight and defeat the man that had caused him so much hurt. A greater part of him, however, knew that Felix was right. To still love someone that had wronged him so profoundly sounded just so incredibly Ethan and that made Nicoli’s heart tremble in fear.

“He’s also in danger from himself,” Felix said, snapping Nicoli back into focus.

“From himself? What does that mean?”

“You’ll understand soon, but we have to start at the beginning.”

“Okay, fine. Then start at the beginning and tell me everything,” Nicoli said, leaning in close so he could listen intently. He was taken aback when Felix smirked in amusement.

“Oh, I’m not going to tell you. I’m going to show you what happened.”

Nicoli blinked repeatedly, trying to understand, but couldn’t.

“Show me? How are you going to do that?” he asked.

“By sharing my memories with you.”

Nicoli’s brows rose and he still stared at Felix dumbfounded.

“Share your memories…? You can do that?”

Felix now laughed, entertained by Nicoli’s reaction.

“Of course I can. I’m a ghost, Nicoli, and ghosts are made up of nothing but the memories of who they used to be. Letting someone else see them is a simple matter, but not something we take lightly. So you better appreciate this,” he said this seriously and Nicoli nodded.

“If it helps me understand everything that is going on better then I will appreciate its brains out.”

Felix nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

“So, how do we go about this?” Nicoli asked, wondering how he’d be able to see Felix’s memories.

“Just sit back and let me do all the work. All you need to do is relax and for God’s sake don’t resist anything you feel. If you make this any harder than it has to be I’m calling this off.”

“Okay, no resisting, so let’s do this all ready.”

Felix nodded and Nicoli was baffled when Felix drifted closer.

“Now don’t get any funny ideas. This is just how this has to be done,” Felix said as his hands cupped Nicoli’s face.

Before Nicoli could react Felix leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. Nicoli’s first reaction was to pull away, but he had no time to. He gasped as it felt like he was plunged into ice water. It was so cold he could hardly breathe. In a panic he thought maybe Felix was trying to kill him then there was no thought at all as everything went black

************************************************************************

Nicoli slowly opened his eyes and was disoriented for a second. He didn’t know what Felix was trying to pull, but he was not amused. When the world was firmly set underneath his feet once more he shook his head.

“God, that felt weird,” he murmured.

“Didn’t feel any better on this end, Buddy,” Felix said, and Nicoli realized the ghost was beside him.

“Just what the hell did that…do?” Nicoli trailed off as he looked around in confusion. They weren’t in his room anymore. They were in what appeared to be an alleyway. Brick walls lined the passage and there was garbage and trash everywhere, making the place look rank and filthy. There were numerous puddles in the ground and he thought that it was most likely questionable substances until he realized that it was raining.

He could hear it drumming off the trashcans and large dumpsters that lined the wall and he saw the puddles ripple with drops. His mood soured because his night clothes were going to get soaked. That was until he noticed that he couldn’t feel any of the drops hitting him. He held out his hands and his eyes widened when he saw the raindrops phase right through his hands and continue to fall to the muddy ground. That’s when it dawned on him. He was really in Felix’s memory. He didn’t know what to expect when Felix said he was going to show his memories, but Nicoli never once thought they would actually be inside the memory.

He looked around again. Even though he knew he was in Felix’s memory, that didn’t help him know what was going on or why they were in a disgusting alley.

“Where are we?” Nicoli finally asked.

“We’re at the beginning,” Felix said. “Where everything started…at least where it started for me.”

Nicoli was about to ask what that meant when he noticed Felix was staring at something. He followed Felix’s line of vision, but couldn’t see anything at first. It was dark in the alley, the only light coming from a lamp attached to the backdoor of a building several feet away. The longer he stared, however, the more something came into focus. What Nicoli had mistook for a pile of trash shoved into the little nook of a giant dumpster was actually a person. They were huddled against the wall and pressed into the corner of the dumpster in a tight ball.

The person was a very small boy and Nicoli had to only take one look at the child’s round face to recognize him.

“Felix…is this you?” he asked in astonishment, not able to take his eyes off the boy.

“Yes, that’s me at the age of twelve, fourteen years ago,” Felix said and his voice was distant and soft.

Nicoli took a few steps closer and hunched down in front of the child Felix to get a better look at him. The boy made no movement and didn’t acknowledge Nicoli’s existence. Nicoli couldn’t believe he was looking at a living version of Felix and he was struck by how wretched Felix seemed. He was skinny, his arms and legs looking like sticks and he was dressed in a ratty pair of shorts and a shirt that looked three sizes too big. His short hair was matted and plastered to his face from the rain and dirt was smeared on almost every inch of him. His eyes were what scared Nicoli. Even in the dark they appeared hollow and lifeless. That’s not a look anyone should have, let alone a twelve year old boy.

“Felix, what the hell happened to you?” he asked, turning to speak to Felix, who had moved to stand behind him. “What are you doing out on the street or in this place for that matter? And why do you look so starved and just…?” he had too many questions to speak at once, but another became very important when he spied something in the child Felix’s hands. “And why are you holding a knife?”

In Felix’s small hands was a switchblade. He had a tight hold on the handle as he stared into nothing, but Nicoli could just make out a dark stain on the blade. Blood.

The ghost Felix sighed as he moved to stand beside Nicoli and he stared down at his younger self. His eyes hard.

“I was hoping I didn’t have to go back further than this, but I guess if I tell you about my upbringing you may understand things a little more.” He took a deep breath to collect himself and Nicoli had the sense that what he was about to say was going to be very hard.

“My childhood was anything but pleasant; I don’t have one happy memory about my life before the clan because nothing about it was happy. My mother was a drug addict, plain and simple. A homeless one that bounced around other addicts homes for shelter and her fixes. She never had a preference to her poison. If she could snort, shoot, or ingest it and it got her high, she’d take it. It’s a miracle I was born without any problems, though being born at all was probably the curse.

“I never knew who my father was. I always just figured he was some random guy my mom slept with for money or drugs and she just happened to get knocked up. A warm thought, I know, but that’s probably how it happened. I’m not sure how I survived even after birth, my mother wasn’t the most nurturing of people, but somehow I lived and as soon as I got old enough to walk and talk my dear, sweet mother saw the perfect opportunity to use me to her benefit. All growing up I was her little “Errand Boy,” as her druggy friends would call me. If she was unable to go meet with her dealers I would go instead and get her drugs for her. I would do odd jobs for people to help get money to feed us and her addiction…” Felix’s features became steely and his mouth tight. “At Mom’s orders I would even hit the street to find men that would be willing to sleep with her for money. That was something I hated most.”

Nicoli was silent, his throat tight. He couldn’t believe that that was how Felix had grown up. What kind of life was that for a child? In comparison his life with his two loving, caring parents was paradise and he felt horrible after remembering all the times he had complained about his mother’s over protectiveness. He would much rather who was over protective rather than one that didn’t care about him and even used him for such heinous deeds.

“Then came the day that changed everything,” Felix continued. “In the neighborhood we lived in there was a pimp who pretty much ruled the entire place. He had the most powerful drug and prostitution ring in the area. He was well known to my mother and me, you couldn’t live there without knowing him, and apparently he had been watching us for a long time. In the morning of this very day he came to my mother and gave her a proposition. He would supply her with a lifetime supply of any drug of her choice if she gave him one thing.”

“What was it?” Nicoli asked.

“…me.”

Nicoli’s eyes widened and he stared up at Felix in disbelief. He slowly got to his feet, searching Felix’s face for any sign that he was joking.

“No…no, she wouldn’t. Tell me she didn’t. She didn’t trade her own son for drugs.”

“You underestimate my mother,” Felix said after a big sigh. “She didn’t even think twice. She agreed to it right away and I found myself being dragged away by his goons. I kicked and screamed and begged my mother to help me as she went over final details with the pimp…she didn’t even give me one last glance.”

Nicoli felt sick. How could a mother do that to her own son? Her flesh and blood? He stared at the little boy hidden by the dumpster. How could he deserve such treatment?

“I was taken back to the pimp’s headquarters. I was going to be made into one of his little whores. He said I had a face that his clients would love to fuck and would most likely become one of his top assets. In preparation he was going to ‘break me in’ himself.”

Nicoli saw a tremor pass through Felix’s spectral body and he wanted to place a hand on Felix’s shoulder, but refrained.

“I was taken into his room and he forced me down on the bed and tried to take my clothes off. I fought him harder than I had ever fought anyone in my entire life. And to my credit, for a scrawny twelve year old against a full grown man, I didn’t do to badly. In our tousle I happened to knock some of the pillows off the bed and uncovered that knife.” He gestured with his head to the knife his younger self was holding. “I figured the pimp kept it under there for safe keeping, but to me it was a Godsend. I grabbed it and without even thinking I attacked the pimp. I have no idea how many times I stabbed him, but I just kept going. Then, when he stopped moving, I ran. I have no idea how I was able to make it passed all his goons and bodyguards, but I was able to escape.

“I ran for only God knows how long and I didn’t stop. I had to run until I had nothing left because I knew the pimp, if he was still alive, would send his thugs after me and I’d end up dead in a ditch somewhere. So I ran and I ran and I ran until, exhausted and fatigued, I ended up here in this alley, hiding among the filth. I stayed here for hours on end, petrified of being found and not moving an inch. That is how my life went to make me end up here and where I was sure it was going to end.”

Nicoli stood there as Felix’s story ran through his mind over and over, not knowing what to say. Felix had had such a miserable life. Nicoli had wanted to know about Felix, his life and how he died, but now he almost regretted it.

“God,” he finally said. “I had no idea…Felix, I’m so –”

He was cut off as Felix grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him to him. Felix’s face was twisted in anger and he glared at Nicoli with such intensity he thought a hole was going to burn through his head.

“Don’t you ever say you feel sorry for me,” Felix hissed. “I didn’t bring you here for you to pity me. Yes, I told you my sob story, but the last thing I want from you is your sympathy. Do you understand me?”

Nicoli nodded, knowing why Felix would say such a thing. He was the same way. He hated it when people pitied him and he knew that Felix was just too proud of a person to accept anyone’s sorry feelings.

Felix ‘hmphed’ and released Nicoli’s shirt as he went back to staring at his living, younger self.

“Besides, that part of my life was just a prelude,” he said as he turned back to Nicoli. “It was a trial of suffering I had to endure before experiencing ultimate happiness. A happiness that will be coming in just a few seconds.”

Nicoli stared at him curiously before realizing that Felix was looking at him, but passed him. He turned to stare down the alley, but could see nothing. Then, from the darkness, a sound emerged, a sound that he had heard himself before. It was whistling. The tune bounced and reverberated off the alley walls and drew closer.

Nicoli saw movement out of the corner of his eye and saw that the child Felix heard it to. He pressed himself further into the wall and his hands tightened around the knife. He saw fear in the boy’s eyes as he tried to meld into his hiding spot.

Soon Nicoli could see a figure coming towards them out of the darkness. They had an umbrella to protect them from the rain, but the dim lighting made it impossible to make out any kind of features of the person. That was until they passed the door with the light and Nicoli got a glimpse of incredibly wavy, blonde hair, a very familiar denim jacket outfitted on an equally familiar body and the light caught a flash of unique, teal eyes.

“Ethan?” Nicoli said as the man walked pass the door and towards them.

“Mmhmm,” Felix said with a nod. “Just keep watching.”

Nicoli stepped out of the way of Ethan’s path and he was struck by how Ethan looked exactly the same. He knew that vampires didn’t age, but it was incredibly to see that Ethan hadn’t changed one bit from fourteen years ago.

Ethan kept walking and bypassed the dumpster and it appeared he was just going to keep on going. After he had gone a few feet from Felix’s hiding spot, however, he abruptly stopped, the whistle ending halfway between a note. He stood there for a few seconds and Nicoli saw the child tense and curl in on himself more. Ethan then began taking a few steps backwards until he was right in front of Felix and he turned his head to look at the boy.

The two stared at each other for a while. The tall vampire protected by his umbrella and the scared, rain drenched little boy. It was a moment that Nicoli found odd.

Ethan chuckled and smiled at Felix, amusement clear in his eyes.

“Why hello there,” he said, his voice still the cheery pitch of the present Ethan.

Child Felix did not return the greeting. Instead he slowly got to his feet and held the knife out in front of him threateningly.

“Get away from me,” he said and Nicoli was astounded by how strong his voice was and how steady his hands were.

Ethan chuckled again and turned his body to face Felix completely.

“Now, now, is that anything to say to someone who is just saying hello?”

“Get. The fuck. Away from me,” Felix said again, his voice harder.

“Feisty little one, aren’t you?” Ethan asked, and Nicoli was reminded that Ethan had said something similar to him when they had first met. Ethan was silent for a moment as he regarded the boy holding a knife on him. “You know, this is no place for a boy to hang around. You look miserable.” Felix said nothing. “I have an idea, why don’t you come with me to my home? You can get cleaned up there and fed. I can hear your stomach growling from here.”

“Why would you do that?” Felix asked, obviously taken aback.

Ethan shrugged.

“‘Cause I can. Would it hurt any?”

Felix studied Ethan for a second before shaking his head, flinging rain drops everywhere, and lifting the knife up higher.

“You’re probably just some pervert. In exchange for all that you’re gonna wanna fuck me, right?”

Ethan gave a full laugh, causing Felix to jump a little.

“Such a mouth for such a little boy. But no offense, kid, I don’t need to proposition some boy, who looks like a drowned cat, to fill my perverted needs. I have other people lined up to take care of that. I’m just offering you a place to stay for the night.”

“Niceness always comes with a price,” Felix growled.

“Does it? Well, then you’ve just been getting niceness from the wrong people. You don’t have anything I want or need, kid, trust me. If it makes you feel any better you can take the knife with you just to make sure I don’t do anything, but it’s up to you. Say no and I’ll be on my merry way as you probably get washed down a drain somewhere.”

Felix stayed pressed against the wall, knife raised, but it was clear he was thinking it over.

“What the heck was going through your head?” Nicoli asked, not knowing what he would do if he was in Felix’s position.

“Basically I was just weighing my options. I could either refuse and stay in this alley and probably die from pneumonia from the rain, starve to death or be found by the pimps goons or I could go with this strange man, who could either be as nice as he seemed or some nut job that was going to do who knew what to me. In the end, the choice for me was pretty clear.”

Nicoli watched as the living Felix slowly relaxed and lowered the knife, still looking wary all the same. He then tentatively left the wall and walked towards Ethan. When they were just a few feet from each other Felix stared up at Ethan with his head tilted slightly.

“Can I take a hot shower?” he asked.

Ethan smiled a kind, warm smile that always made Nicoli feel safe and seemed to have some effect on Felix.

“Shower, bath, whatever you like.” He then held out his hand. “I’m Ethan Meier, by the way.”

Felix stared at the hand, but didn’t take it.

“My name’s Felix.”

“No last name?”

“Not anymore.”

Ethan chuckled and shrugged.

“All right, however you like it. Now, let’s get out of this rain already,” he said and the two turned together and began walking out of the alley, Ethan’s umbrella now protecting them both from the cold rain.

Nicoli watched them go, but looked to the spectral Felix when he spoke.

“To this day I’m not sure why I chose to go with him. Even given my options it was a stupid thing to do and I’ve asked Ethan a thousand times why he took me off the street that night, but he always says he’s not really sure either.” Felix smiled.

“In the end, though, it was the greatest decision of my life. It was where everything changed for me and I had a chance to experience true happiness. Really, this is where my life truly began.”

================================================Ch. 61 End