Moonlight Denial: Shades of Moonlight Book One

Ethan’s eyes fluttered open and he yawned as he fully withdrew from sleep. It was funny, he didn’t remember falling asleep. He must have been more exhausted than he realized. The last thing he did remember was using the mind link to talk to Nicoli…

His eyes widened and shot downward. When he registered the warm body pressed against him in peaceful slumber he relaxed and rested his chin on dark brown hair. It was true. They had saved Nicoli and he was safe and sound now. Ethan couldn’t remember the last time he felt so relieved, but close behind that relief was a sense of grief and guilt.

If they had saved Nicoli that meant everything that had happened to Nicoli was real too. Ethan gently ran his hand across Nicoli’s back and grimaced when he felt the scarred flesh. He couldn’t understand how Dimitri could have done such a horrid act upon such a defenseless creature.

Dimitri was nothing but filth. He had killed so many and did what even Ethan’s mother couldn’t and completely turned his brother against him. Now he had gone after Nicoli for hardly any reason but to twist his knife in the clan’s side. Ethan decided then and there that if Conrad didn’t kill Dimitri, he would.

With the brief thought of his sire Ethan directed his attention to the house. Save for Nicoli he only heard four heartbeats in the building and could feel no vampiric presences. His family had undoubtedly gone back to the house to rest after the intense battle.

Ethan had to go. He wanted to be there for his family, but he also desperately needed to talk to Conrad. He had to know what his father now had in store for Nicoli. Conrad had said if Nicoli had broken the clans trust and told Dimitri anything than Nicoli had to die. Ethan was sure Nicoli had said nothing, but Conrad was no doubt going to be harder to convince.

Ethan reflexively held Nicoli tighter and smiled when Nicoli let out a tired noise and snuggled further into him. If Conrad did condemn Nicoli to death Ethan would do everything in his power to stop his sire. How could he let Nicoli die after everything they had gone through to get him back? No, Ethan wouldn’t allow it. If worse came to worse then Ethan would take Nicoli and run. He had no idea if he could ever hide from Conrad, but he was willing to try for Nicoli’s sake.

Before he considered fleeing he had to go talk to Conrad first to see if there was even a need to. He reluctantly untangled himself from Nicoli and slipped out of the bed. He held his nonexistent breath when Nicoli groaned and shifted, but he simply settled onto his stomach and stayed in his haven of sleep.

Ethan’s eyes were drawn to the marks that covered Nicoli’s back. The once beautiful, smooth skin was now marred forever. Ethan couldn’t help but lean over and press his lips against the tortured flesh.

“I’ll make them pay for this,” he whispered.

Afterwards he quickly redressed and slipped out of the room. If he lingered much longer it would be harder for him to leave. Ethan made his way silently through the house towards the front door. It was just in sight, but when he passed the kitchen he stopped and doubled back.

He looked in and was surprised to see Amelia sitting at the kitchen table nursing a mug. She looked wretched with fatigue, but he was perplexed that her normally luscious, beautiful hair looked poufy and frizzed and a pair of the thickest glasses he had ever seen rested on her freckled nose.

Ethan was tempted to leave – she hadn’t noticed he was there yet – but he felt compelled to say something to her, though he wasn’t sure what.

“You’re up early,” he decided to say after glancing at the wall clock. It was nearly five in the morning, much too soon to be awake after the night they had had.

Amelia jumped and nearly spilled her drink. Her wide eyes were even bigger behind her glasses and she flushed terribly.

“Oh, it’s you,” she said when she saw him, but it didn’t hold the nastiness he was expecting. She then began to fiddle with her mug and appeared self conscious, which was odd in itself. “How embarrassing, you caught me in my natural state,” she said, her fingers beginning to play with her frizzy hair.

“What’s to be embarrassed about? I think you look fine,” he said as she started running her hands through her hair and pulling it back.

Amelia snorted as she conjured sparkly blue magic that tied around her hair and held it in a bushy ponytail.

“If I hadn’t been called ‘Poodle Head’ for the greater part of my life I’d be more inclined to believe you.”

Ethan held back a chuckle, not wanting to ruin the moment and have Amelia remember she hated him.

“I had no idea you wear glasses,” he said, trying to keep up the idle conversation.

“That’s the great thing about contacts, but I already took them out and haven’t felt like putting them back in yet, so it’s either wear these or be as blind as a bat.”

“What are you doing up so early anyways?” he asked, going back to his first statement.

“I think you mean, what are you doing up so late?” she corrected him. “I never went to sleep.”

“What? Why?” he asked. He was sure everyone would have collapsed from exhaustion.

Amelia simply shrugged her shoulders and stared into her steaming mug.

“I just can’t. My mind just won’t stop racing after everything that happened. It was the first time I had ever been in the middle of a real battle, and I guess I’m still geared up from it…or something.” Her eyes found his. “How’s Nicoli?”

Ethan leaned against the doorframe and sighed. He wished he knew.

“He seems all right, for the most part. He’s sleeping right now and damn if he doesn’t need it. I just hope he’s not permanently screwed up from all this.”

“Something tells me he won’t be. This is Nicoli, after all,” Amelia said, tucking an elusive strand of hair behind her ear. “Did…did he say exactly what they did to him?” she asked.

Ethan shook his head and crossed his arms.

“Not a word, though, if I were him I wouldn’t want to talk about it right away either. I’ll say he’s luckier than most who cross Dimitri’s path.”

At the mention of Dimitri Amelia’s features darkened and she took a little sip from her mug.

“I hope I seared that bastard’s eyes right out of his head with that Blinding Sphere. It’s the least he deserves.”

“I’d have to agree with you on that,” Ethan said with a small upturn of his lips. He really didn’t want to discuss Dimitri more, not with Amelia anyways, and decided to end the conversation.

“Look, I gotta go. Since Nicoli is sleeping now I want to go check on my family and see how they’re doing. Tonight wasn’t easy on any of us. Take care of Nicoli while I’m gone and go to bed already.”

Ethan turned and made to leave the house, not waiting for, or expecting, a goodbye. He went only a few steps before he heard chair legs scrape against tiled floor.

“Ethan, wait.”

Ethan paused and when he looked back he saw that Amelia was where he had been and appeared very hesitant.

“Yes?” he said, fully turning towards her and giving her his full attention.

“Erm, Ethan, I just wanted to say, um.” Amelia fidgeted heavily and wouldn’t look at him. She rubbed the back of her arm and cleared her throat before being able to glance up at him. “I wanted to say that I’m…sorry.”

Ethan’s brows rose in surprise, he wasn’t expecting that one.

“Sorry?”

“Yeah, for how I’ve been treating you, saying all those awful things…I’m sorry.”

Ethan couldn’t help but smile. After only seeing Amelia’s angry side it was refreshing to know that she did have a nice side.

“It’s okay. You were just scared and angry and–”

“I was a bitch and it’s not okay,” she insisted, catching Ethan off guard. “Yes, I was angry, but I had no right to blame you and think you were some sort of monster that was just out to hurt Nicoli. I’m sorry if anything I said really hurt you or anything.”

Ethan regarded her silently. He was almost suspicious of how she acted now. It was as if her different look changed her demeanor completely.

“Why the sudden switch?” he asked. “What compelled you to forgive me like this?”

Amelia sighed and crossed her arms, holding herself as if she were cold.

“I’ve never had a high opinion on vampires, though, that was simply from what I learned about them, I’ve never met actual vampires until you guys came along. I just thought you guys were snobbish monsters that didn’t care about anyone or anything. I guess Faith was really the one to show me that you guys have feelings too and are actual people.”

Ethan wondered when Faith had time to do that, but remained silent, not wanting to interrupt her.

“When all of this first happened I was just so furious and directed it all at you,” she went on. “I just convinced myself that you were this horrible person that got Nicoli into this as some kind of game and didn’t care what happened to him. I refused to see that you were really hurting from all of this too. I guess I finally woke up when we got Nicoli back. You were just so protective and caring over him. Anyone could see how worried you were and it’s further proven since you stayed with him for so long. I realized that you weren’t the monster I made you into in my head and I thought back to how I had been treating you and I felt horrible. I was a childish bitch and you didn’t deserve any of that, so I’m sorry. I really, really am.”

Her words were genuine, Ethan could see that and it made him smile. There was hope for the hard headed girl yet, and he was just happy to have one less person hate him.

“Thank you, Amelia. Your apology is fully accepted,” he told her. “And, you know, even if you were acting childishly it was very mature of you to come to me and admit you were wrong.”

Amelia covered up a blush by pushing her glasses up her nose, then straightened her posture and had a cocky smile.

“Well, I am going to be the greatest witch in the world some day and every great witch knows to admit when she’s made an error,” she said proudly, sounding like the old Amelia.

Ethan chuckled and took what few steps were between them and crooked his finger under her chin.

“You’ll make a fine witch indeed,” he said before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Amelia made an odd noise before pushing him away.

“Whoa, hey, wait a minute there, buddy!” she said waving her hands in front of her to ward him away. “We just crossed over the line of civility with each other. We’re not even to any sort of shaky friendship yet, so don’t be kissing up on me. Your vampire charms won’t be working here. I still got my eye on you.” Her fingers swiveled between pointing at her eyes and his.

Ethan laughed and for the first time he found he could really come to like the little witch.

“All right, fine, you won’t get any of my kisses then, but you’re missing out,” he said with a waggle of his eyebrows. He then made his way back to the front door. When it was opened he turned to her one last time.

“Take care and for crying out loud go to bed.”

Just as he closed the door Amelia’s voice slipped through.

“You’re not my mother!”

************************************************************************

The front door to the clan’s house creaked as it opened and Ethan wondered when and who had repaired it. He let out a contented breath as he closed the door. Even though they had only been living in the house for a short while, and it was purely temporary, it had a sense of home.

He reveled in the feeling for only a moment before making his way to the second floor. He had left Nicoli’s side for a reason and he would not be distracted from it. Just as he reached Conrad’s den he paused. He could feel the presence of someone inside, but he wanted to be sure he would be welcomed.

“Father? Are you awake?” he asked mentally.

There was no reply except for the doorknob turning and the door swinging open.

“I would think the answer to that would be obvious,” Conrad replied verbally from his seat at his desk. He had a book in his lap and his knuckles pressed into his cheek from his slightly slouched position. “Come in,” he said, his eyes never leaving the page.

Ethan did so and shut the door behind him. He stood there, contemplating what to say and how to say it. Time did not wait for him to finish as Conrad closed the book and set it aside. The steel grey eyes Ethan had come to know and love then finally looked at him.

“How are you doing, my child?” Conrad asked softly, throwing Ethan off guard.

“Um, as good as can be expected, I guess,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck as he took a few steps forward. “I’m drained in all aspects, but I’m still standing.”

“It must have been hard to see Meier again after so long.”

Ethan flinched.

“Please, don’t call him that.”

“And what should I call him?” Conrad asked with a raised brow. “I won’t call him Evan. I refuse to refer to him in such a way that makes it seem he’s still the man we all believed him to be. Feeding such fantasies is unhealthy.”

“How are the others?” Ethan asked abruptly. He didn’t want to stay on the subject of his brother. It hurt too much.

“Fine, I suppose. They all retired to bed, though if they are actually sleeping is up for debate. Your little spirit, however, seems to have wandered away somewhere. I haven’t seen him in quite some time.”

“He’s probably at the cemetery,” Ethan murmured. He knew that the cemetery was the place Felix liked to go to when he wanted to think, even if it wasn’t his cemetery. “He probably just wants some time to himself. Tonight must have been especially hard for him if he saw…” He could not bring himself to finish his sentence.

“His murderer?” Conrad finished for him.

Ethan closed his eyes and nodded. Felix. His poor Felix. After so many years it was still so hard to come to terms that Felix was dead and even harder that it had been his own brother that had snuffed out Felix’s life.

He opened his eyes and stared at Conrad’s desk. The wood was fractured in the spot Ethan had hit it in the heat of his and Conrad’s recent argument. He hoped there would be no repeat in the conversation to come.

“I really wish you would stop dancing around what you came here to talk about,” Conrad said, making Ethan look up at him in surprise. “You want to talk about your current human, don’t you?”

“Am I that obvious?” Ethan asked, looking sheepish.

“Some days more than others,” Conrad said, and had the barest of smiles. “Now come, what did you want to say to me?” he encouraged.

Ethan drew up his courage and looked Conrad right in the eye and prayed for the best.

“When Nicoli was first kidnapped you told me that if he told Dimitri anything that you were going to kill him. I just want to know what your plans with him are and if you are going to do as you say.”

Conrad sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before rubbing at his temple.

“Yes, I did say that, didn’t I? Well, it really all depends on the boy and what happened during his time with my wretched brother. As it is neither of us know and I’d have to talk to the boy myself to see if I will resign him to death.”

Ethan clenched his fist at his side.

“So if he has said something…you will do it?”

Conrad closed his eyes for a moment and went into thought. Ethan wished he could pry into his sire’s mind and see what he was thinking, but that would not help the situation any.

“Something tells me,” Conrad said, opening his eyes but not really looking at anything, “that it won’t have to come to that.”

Ethan’s eyes widened and he blinked several times, trying to comprehend the words that hung in the air.

“What? What do you mean?”

“It’s what Dimitri said in the mansion. Do you remember?”

“What he…said?” Ethan tried to think back, but all he could remember was Dimitri goading him about Nicoli. “No, I don’t remember anything specific.”

“He said the boy hadn’t given him what he wanted yet,” Conrad said. “That must mean that your human didn’t say anything, doesn’t it?”

“Do-Do you really think so?” Ethan asked, hope fluttering in his chest.

“Dimitri’s main weapons may be deceit and lies, but I don’t see why he would lie about that. That may be the most honest thing he’s said in years.”

“So, you won’t kill Nicoli then?”

Conrad shrugged and gave a coy smile when Ethan huffed.

“Again I have to talk to the boy to get his side of the story.” A light, tired laugh came from Conrad as he rubbed his eyes. “But even if he has said something I don’t think I could kill him anyways.”

“Because you’re starting to like him?” Ethan said with an expectant smile.

“No.”

The smile vanished.

“It’s because if I tried I’m pretty sure the Fairbrooke’s would have something to say about it. That family makes for powerful allies, I have no doubt that they would be fearsome foes and that boy would make that transition happen. I’m not about to put this family in danger by angering the Fairbrooke’s in such a way.”

Ethan’s limbs tingled and he felt like floating around the room. If the threat of the Fairbrooke’s was that heavy then that meant that Conrad would not lift a finger against Nicoli in fear that the clan would be in danger. That relieved him greatly.

“But I will still question Nicoli regardless,” Conrad said, drawing Ethan out of his happy thoughts. “It just means your fears can be more at ease, but keep in mind that I am crafty. Accidents can happen at any time to your little friend.”

There was a vague sense of a joke lining Conrad’s statement and Ethan hoped beyond anything that he was joking, but Ethan could never be sure.

“God, you make me edgy,” Ethan said with a light chuckle.

“And that is how I keep you on your toes. Keeps your mind quick,” Conrad said with a tired smile. It lasted only a moment before he went back to rubbing his eyes. It was then that Ethan realized just how drained his sire appeared.

“Now its time I ask you how you are doing,” he said as he rounded the desk and sat on the edge of it.

The fingers kept up their rubbing for a little longer and then knuckles pressed against his cheek once more.

“I would like to say that I’m fine, but I’m too tired to lie right now,” he replied, his eyes drifting closed again. “Seeing Dimitri again brought up all of the anger and hatred anew and that always wears me out. A part of me just wishes Dimitri would go into hiding and never come back.”

Ethan’s brows knitted as he studied Conrad. He knew the effects Dimitri had on Conrad, but something seemed different tonight.

“Conrad, what’s really up? You seem more…down than usual.” He reached his leg forward and lightly hooked it around Conrad’s ankle as a tender gesture. “You can talk to me, you know that.”

Conrad clenched and grinded his jaw before opening his eyes and glancing in Ethan’s direction.

“Dimitri may be insane but…he’s a good leader.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Ethan asked in utter confusion.

“Dimitri is a good clan leader. Just seeing them today made me think how much his clan loves him and they have such strong, unwavering loyalty to him even though he’s a madman.”

“That’s only because they’re all crazy,” Ethan told him.

“Then that makes him an even better leader, don’t you think? In order to control the insane he must be brilliant in his own way.”

“Where the hell is this coming from, Conrad?” Ethan asked. He had never heard Conrad talk in this manner and it was worrying.

Conrad tapped his finger against his lip as he stared forward, again into nothing.

“Isaak was such a strong leader. I wish you were alive while he had control over the clan so you could have seen him and Dimitri is just as good of a leader, even though he uses his skills only to hurt us…I just.” He groaned as he dug his fingers into his hair and shook his head. “I don’t know. I just believe I am not half the man either of them are or were and that I am failing this clan with every turn I take.”

“What!? Conrad, what are you saying? You’re a great leader, a fantastic leader. How could you ever doubt yourself?” Ethan asked. He had never seen Conrad voice such thoughts and it scared him. If their leader had no confidence in himself what did that mean for the rest of the clan? Was this what Faith heard every time she and Conrad had their private talks?

“Well, let’s look at my track record, shall we?” Conrad said. “Even before I was made leader I broke one of our biggest rules and took a helpless little girl and turned her, damning her to a madness that nearly destroyed her. While Isaak was ruling not one member of this family was lost, with me as leader we have lost two clansmen and I couldn’t even help protect your human, who you lost so tragically and my greatest failure comes from losing your brother…my son, my youngest.”

It was there that Ethan saw such great hurt in Conrad’s eyes. An emotion he would probably never again see so freely from his carefully guarded sire.

“You saw him in that place,” Conrad continued. “Every ounce of him belonged to Dimitri. He had never had that kind of devotion for me. To think my brother could give him something I couldn’t is just…”

“He’s made it clear that you weren’t his problem,” Ethan said and couldn’t hide the bitterness in his voice. He welcomed the comforting hand that was placed on his knee.

“I know, but I just can’t help but feel that if I had done something different, been there for him the way he needed, maybe he wouldn’t have turned his back on us. Maybe it would have all been different.”

Ethan grinded his teeth and shook his head.

“As much as I hate to say it, I believe Evan would have gone down this path one way or another. If Dimitri hadn’t been the trigger someone else would have been.”

Conrad was quiet as his fingers gently stroked Ethan’s knee.

“You are most likely right,” he said after an unbearable silence. “Maybe he was a lost cause from the beginning, but I will always have that “What if?” in the back of my mind.” He sighed and the fingers once again went back to his eyes. “And now my greatest fear is that I’m making the same mistake with you.”

A jolt went through Ethan and he stared at Conrad in disbelief.

“Me? Wha–You think I’m going to turn on the clan and try and kill you?” he asked, outrage flaring in his chest.

“No, no,” Conrad said with a weary shake of his head. “That’s not what I meant. I know you would rather die than hurt this family in any way.”

Ethan relaxed with a sigh. He wouldn’t know what to feel if Conrad thought he was capable of the actions that Evan had taken.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I have wronged you numerous times as of late. We have constantly been at each others throats and I feel…” Steel eyes glanced at Ethan once more and he was shocked to see genuine fear in them. “I feel that if this continues I will drive you away and you will leave me.”

Words rushed to Ethan’s mouth to put Conrad’s mind at ease, but they clogged in his throat. What could he possibly say when not even an hour ago he had had the thought of fleeing Conrad to protect Nicoli? The sharp teeth of guilt sank into his innards and would not relinquish their hold.

He slipped from the desk and sank to his knees beside Conrad’s chair. He took his sires hand in his and pressed the back of it to his cheek.

“Conrad, I love you. You’re my sire, my creator. You gave me this life and I could never repay you for it. If it hadn’t been for you I’d be some haggard old man tucked away and forgotten in some old folks home. Instead I’m so much more than I ever could have imagined and it’s all thanks to you.”

He looked up into Conrad’s eyes, who silently stared back and in that moment Ethan remembered just how much he really did love Conrad. In the midst of all of their fighting, the searching for the Hearts and the mess Dimitri had made, Ethan almost forgot about the kind, albeit sometimes cold, man Conrad was. He may have been the leader, but Conrad needed just as much love and support as the rest of them.

“I know that sometimes I don’t like the decisions you make, obviously, and you really don’t care for some of the things I’ve done, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. I get angry, yes, but everyone does from time to time.”

Ethan placed several kisses on the back of Conrad’s hand before pushing upwards and pressing more against his jaw.

“I’m yours, Conrad, now and forever,” Ethan said, trailing his kisses up to Conrad’s ear. “I would never leave you in such a way. Never.” He turned Conrad’s face to look at him. “You have my heart and soul. Trust me on that.”

For once Conrad seemed at a loss for words as he simply stared into Ethan’s eyes.

“Ethan…” was all he could say.

“Let me prove it to you,” Ethan said before closing the space between them and pressing their lips together. He kissed Conrad thoroughly, smothering his mouth with his own and teasing him with lips and teeth.

Conrad was tentative at first, hesitant even, and Ethan didn’t like that. It wasn’t Conrad at all. Ethan smiled when that faded and Conrad took control, pulling Ethan to and against him. They kissed in almost a frenzy as hands grabbed at the other.

Ethan forgot how wonderful it was to be with Conrad in this way. Sex was a wonderful aspect of life, but for a vampire being with ones sire was another experience all together. It always felt so right and perfect. He was complete and whole and the attention that was lavished upon him made him want to melt.

Conrad’s hands were pure magic. Sparks danced along Ethan’s skin as those hands moved across his body, shedding him of his battle stained clothes and drawing out wanton gasps as they found spots on his body that made him mad with desire. His passion was heightened further when the kisses that blazed across his skin contained fangs behind soft lips. He wanted to be kissed, bit and devoured all at the same time. He pleaded for it and his begging was met by heated chuckles.

As they explored and rediscovered each others bodies Ethan realized that they had somehow ended up on the floor. He on his back and Conrad loomed over him. How they ended that way was banished from his thoughts as Conrad’s nimble fingers began to move to the hidden areas of his body. He gasped louder and writhed on the floor as he was prepared for what was to come by careful fingers.

“Conrad,” he heard himself mewl in earnest. His plea was met with a deep, possessing growl and the fingers inside him moved quicker. When he was ready and the digits were removed he spread his legs in welcome as Conrad settled between them. There was no warning, the look in Conrad’s eyes was all Ethan needed to be ready.

His hands clawed into the floor as Conrad’s cock pressed into him, filling him completely until he thought he couldn’t take it anymore. He moaned and his head fell back when Conrad was completely seated within him. His hands came up to rest on Conrad’s taut back as his body adjusted to their joining. It was bliss.

“And to think,” Conrad said above him, his voice sounding strained. “We haven’t been like this for almost a whole year.”

“Nngh, yeah,” Ethan murmured, having enough strength to open his eyes and smirk. “No wonder we’ve been trying to tear each other’s throats out. We were just really, really sexually frustrated.” He pulled Conrad down for a kiss and in the heat of their coupling his own fangs had descended, making the two sets of pointed ivory click together. “I really missed you,” he whispered on Conrad’s lips. He tossed his head back and cried out when Conrad thrust into him.

“And I you.”

A string of plaintive moans spilled from them both as their bodies moved together in perfect harmony. Ethan tightened his legs around Conrad’s waist, heightening his pleasure as Conrad pushed further into him. Ethan’s eyes flew open and he cried out when, with a particularly swift thrust, Conrad latched onto his neck.

Ethan’s fangs ached as he felt the blood rush from his body and flow into Conrad. He wished beyond anything to sink his fangs into Conrad and complete the blood bond, but he knew he couldn’t.

In the vampire world it wad forbidden in all clans for any lower vampire to take blood from the clan leader. The leaders were held in such high respect and power that no other vampire could take the leaders blood in fear that that lower vampire would gain the strength of a leader. In ancient times many feuds had been sparked from a lower vampire acquiring the strength of a leader through feeding than trying to usurp the leader’s position with the new power. The only time it was ever allowed for a clan leader to give their blood was when they were turning a human and bringing them into the clan. And at that very moment that rule was killing Ethan.

“Dear sweet Lord,” Ethan said as his leg was put over Conrad’s shoulder, the new position allowing Conrad to brush against his prostate with every movement. He was so close and the sight before him was pushing him further to completion.

Conrad towered over him, pinning Ethan to the floor with his body and thrusting hips. The faintest hint of blood clung to his open lips and crimson sweat speckled his skin, making him glisten in the lamp light. What Ethan loved most about these encounters was the look of absolute abandon on Conrad’s face. The one time he was so lost in his emotions that he could not hide anything from Ethan. It was with that look above him and the gentle hand that touched his hard member that he reached his climax.

Ethan arched up into Conrad, his head thrown back and his mouth open in a silent cry as he came into Conrad’s hand. He felt a growl ripple from Conrad’s chest and with just a few more, deep thrusts Conrad came within Ethan. He shuddered as his orgasm passed before slowly laying on Ethan, who instantly wrapped his arms around the other.

They rested for a bit, recovering from their coupling. Conrad was the first to move. He lightly kissed the spot where he had bit Ethan before pushing himself up and carefully pulling out.

Conrad made to get up, but Ethan grabbed him and rolled him over so that he was now the one lying on his back.

“I don’t think so, Mister,” Ethan said as he nestled himself against Conrad’s side and rested his head on his sire’s shoulder. “Can’t you just cuddle and bask in the afterglow for once in your life?”

“I cuddle,” Conrad murmured, resting his head back against the floor as his arm came around Ethan and began combing through sweaty, wavy locks.

“Sure you do, Conrad, sure you do,” Ethan said as he put his arm across Conrad’s chest and his eyes drifted closed. “So…are we okay?”

Conrad was quiet as a finger wound around a strand of Ethan’s hair.

“Sex doesn’t solve everything, Ethan, but I’m sure we’ll be fine. I just need to stop putting you in a position that makes you feel secluded and at odds with me and you need to stop being so hard headed,” he said, using the same hand to smack Ethan’s temple.

“Ow, hey,” Ethan grumbled. “Yeeeah, I guess you’re right about us needing to work on stuff, but we’ll be fine. Just do me a favor and don’t ever think I’ll turn on you like Evan did. I’m a brat, but there’s no way in hell I’d ever do something like that to you or the others.”

Conrad smiled and closed his eyes.

“I know, Ethan. I know.”

“…Are you feeling any better?”

“A bit. I was just thinking too much. Being alone with my mind is a terrifying thing. I’ll be fine. Just seeing Dimitri always brings me down to my lowest point.”

Ethan smiled as he snuggled as close as possible and pressed his nose and lips into Conrad’s throat.

“Well, I’m just going to have to be there to lift you up then.”

************************************************************************

Faith lay in bed doing what she had been doing for the past hour…staring at the ceiling. She heard when Ethan came home and wanted to go see him, but stopped herself when she realized he went to go speak to their Father and was further swayed by her decision when very distinct noises started coming from the den.

She sighed as she held an assortment of dolls to her. Her mind was still reeling from what had happened. It wasn’t the fight between the two clans, or the condition they had found Nicoli in that perturbed her. No. It was seeing Evan again that had shaken her to her core.

The scene in the battle torn mansion kept flashing before her eyes. The way he looked, disheveled and roughed over, but still so beautiful and vibrant. What haunted her most was the desperate look on his face when he realized she was there. After everything that had happened he wanted to see her with so much intensity she could feel it. Intensity she shared. In that moment she had wanted to forget everyone and everything and run to him. Her gut twisted because she knew just how traitorous that thought was, but it was too strong for her to deny.

She sat up and stared at the door. Conrad was thoroughly busy and most likely wouldn’t be coming to the room anytime soon. She dropped her dolls and slid from the bed, kneeling on the floor when she got there. She glanced at the door again. She had brought a secret with her that would make her father very cross if he found out. With her mind she reached out to an object under the bed and pulled it towards her.

A trunk appeared from under the hanging covers. It was much smaller than the trunk that held her crafts, but it contained something much more important. The lock clicked with no help of a key and Faith hefted the lid up. When it was opened she gazed upon the contents sadly.

Inside were seven dolls that lay side by side. They were the ones that she had “put away” and held the greatest amount of heartache for her. She reached in and lightly brushed her fingers against two of the dolls. One was a male doll with short black yarn hair and green button eyes. The one next to it was a female with dark auburn yarn hair and its button eyes were a light brown.

Faith whimpered. The dolls were of Stephen and Aria. The pain of their loss was still fresh within her. She had been so close to them. They had all been the first children of their sires and had grown to love each other like siblings.

Beside their dolls was one that would seem very foreign to someone like Nicoli. It was of another male doll. Only this one had short, bright yellow hair and baby blue button eyes. She missed seeing those eyes and the smile that usually came with them. It hurt more to see how much the light in those eyes had diminished and how rare that pure smile was. She leaned into the trunk and gave the doll a kiss.

“You didn’t deserve it, Felix,” she whispered before moving on.

The next three dolls were of the people she knew just as well as the others and who Nicoli had had the misfortune of meeting. They were none other than Dimitri, Ira and Lillian. When she had first made the dolls she had loved those people with her whole heart and never thought that would change. In a way it hadn’t, but now finding any love for them brought her pain instead of joy.

Then she came to the last doll and she had to stop and compose herself as tears threatened to well up. When she had control of her self she gingerly reached in and scooped up the doll. She ran her fingers through golden hair of yarn and the doll stared back silently with teal eyes.

Evan’s doll was different than all the others. Her fingers combed through the dolls hair until she found something that was not yarn. She carefully pulled it out and wrapped her finger around a lock of wavy, blond, real hair. She stroked it for a minute before bringing the doll up, pressing her nose into its plushy stomach and taking a deep breath. Again, unlike all the other dolls she had used pieces of Evan’s actual clothes to make the dolls attire.

Evan’s scent rose from the doll and she was assaulted by endless memories of him, of her, of them. She was overwhelmed by a wave of conflicting emotions that crashed over her and her resolve finally broke. The tears came and she doubled over as she held the doll to her.

“Oh, Evan, why? Why?” she said as she wept. She was so lost in her despair she didn't hear the bedroom door open.

“Faith?”

She gasped and her head shot up. In the doorway was Conrad and he stood frozen as he took in what was before him. When the shock left him his eyes narrowed and he closed the door.

“Put those away,” he said, but it held no anger like she was anticipating.

She wanted to do as he said, but her body refused to move. Instead she looked down at Evan’s doll and she was overcome by tears again. She tried to stifle her sobs, but they grew in volume instead.

When a hand was placed on her shoulder she jumped, but when arms came around her she burrowed herself into Conrad’s chest.

“Hush, my dear, hush,” Conrad cooed as he held her and stroked her hair. “You can’t waste such energy and emotions on him.”

“B-But, Father. I just miss him so-so much,” she sobbed.

“I know and I wish I could rid you of such feelings. He doesn’t deserve anything from you.” He continued to hold her until her crying ebbed, but she stayed in his embrace.

“What am I going to do?” she asked, resting her head against his shoulder. “I feel like I’m being torn apart inside and seeing him tonight just made it worse.”

“I don’t know,” Conrad said, leaning his cheek on the top of her head. “For you it’s impossible to throw your feelings away, but it pains me to see you suffer like this.” He pulled back just enough to take hold of Evan’s doll. Faith had the fear he was going to destroy it and wanted to wrench it out of his hand. “You and Ethan both share the ailment of living in the past. These people are not who they once were. They have changed.” Conrad took the doll and tossed it back into the trunk and before Faith could reach for it the trunk lid slammed closed and it slipped back underneath the bed. “That means your feelings also have to change.”

Faith stared after her vanished trunk. She was overcome by tears again and pressed herself into her father, who held her tenderly. As she cried into his chest she felt a wave of helplessness. She knew he was right. His advice was sound and just, but she continued to cry because she knew something else.

It wasn’t going to be that easy.

==========================================Ch. 59 End