Searching for the One

Chapter 6 – How it started



Sewenna covered her pale face with her hands.

“God...”, she whispered. “Oh, God, how can I still try to believe you exist? Why would you put an innocent girl to this torture? How is it possible that you do not punish such a creature that hurts the weak and unprotected? Oh, Misty... This is horrible...”

“Indeed... I could take no more. I had to leave. But you’re right. It’s very cruel...”

“What am I going to do... I don’t know her, I don’t know if she... I don’t know...”

The cat looked at her knowingly.

“You don’t know if she will be the one.”

“How do you know...?”, Sewenna questioned weakly.

“The way you ask me to watch her for you... Your interest... Your loneliness... I know how it feels, not to have a mate, little bat. I know it feels terribly lonely and cold... And it comes from you in waves, that feeling of solitude... You couldn’t hope to hide that from me, could you?”

“Little bat... That sounds sweet... And yes, that is the truth... But still... I must help her! I must! I just can’t be in peace with my conscience knowing what she is going through...”

“I understand. However, I know there will be a way, you’ll see. Come, let us go for a walk, we might get some ideas.”



Carefully so as not to wake Ashena, the vampire girl got out of bed, into her dressing-chamber, and changed from her night/dress to a comfortable black taffeta gown which reached just above her toes. Then she brushed her long, wavy red-hair and pulled two strands from the front to tie up on the back of her head with a black ribbon, which she then tied into a bow. She opened the door of her dressing-chamber and stepped into her private sitting room, and from there she stepped into the dark hall. She got down the front staircase, followed by the gray cat, and went to the ballroom where the doors which gave access to the gardens were.

“I wonder”, said the cat, suddenly. “Are the stories the humans tell about this house true? Are you really one of the granddaughters of one of the most famous kings of England?”

“Oh, so cats know history too?”, Sewenna questioned playfully.

The cat gave a short laugh.

“We aren’t ignorant. Some of us even learn to read.”

Sewenna stopped short.

“No way.”

“Way. Some of us, who live with their humans, they like to know more about them. So they learn to understand those symbols with which humans register everything with in those great amounts of paper called books. Nothing I am particularly interested in, but nothing unuseful... And when they start to read, they start to have a passion for knowledge. And they spread it among their kind, among those who can’t read.”

“Unbelievable... Can you?”

“What, read? No. I have never lived in a human’s den. I like my freedom a lot, if you know what I mean.”

“I see... But no. I’m not one of Henry VIII’s granddaughters. That’s an exaggerated rumour. I descend from an important noble man, though, if that’s anything. My mother was brought here by her own mother when it was found out that she was his mistress. He donated one of his less important manor houses to his daughter, so she wouldn’t be poor and homeless. And when the mistress died, which is to say, my grandmother, my mother married a man of the lesser nobility, a baronet or whatever he was. Well, he was my father.”

“When was that? How many centuries ago?”

“I was bitten in 1700, which means... Three centuries and a few years.”

“Well... That sounds like a terribly long time...”

“Not that long, comparing to some vampires there are, some even two thousand years old... Can you even imagine that?”

“I guess I’d get sick of life...”, the cat mused. “However,... I still don’t understand... Why did they choose you? I mean, why not your parents as well?”

“Well... I can’t be certain about Ashena’s motivations... My parents were very religious; Protestants and I think they would never accept such a thing as creatures which, according to the myth, belong to the darkness... On the other hand, I think Ashena wanted to have time to educate me as she saw fit.@

Sewenna couldn’t help the bitterness which came into her last sentence.

“You got angry, didn’t you? Hurt, and sad, and... Revolted. I think I would, if I had been in your place.”

“I was very hurt, of course, when I found out it had been her who had killed them, and not an illness, as she had first told me. However, the anger, or rage, or whatever you may want to call it, that vanished. You see... I had no choice, no appealing choices anyway. My best option was to stay with them, and I didn’t want to be angry forever. My mother always taught me to try and see the practical side of life because that would make it easier for you to live it. So that made my accepting my situation all the easier, because there was nothing I could do to erase what had happened to my parents.”

“How did it happen?”

“Well... All right. Come, sit here by me. I might as well tell you everything from the beginning...”

The vampire sat down with her back against a tree trunk. The cat went to cuddle in her lap.

“Everything started when my parents decided to shelter a gipsy clan in our land. They stayed for about a week before that night... I can remember it as if it had been just yesterday. I liked to look at them from the window with my mother, but she’d never let me get close to them. So imagine my surprise when one morning, I had a gipsy girl waking me up instead of my nurse. She was beautiful. Not beautiful as we would see beauty at that time, girls with curly blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin, no. She was different, exotic. Her skin was dark and tanned, like all gypsies are, her hair was black and long, she had it tied into a thick, lustrous braid. Her clothes were bright and colourful, in shades of red, orange, yellow, if I still remember correctly. She had many gold bangles on her forearms and a gold necklace. And she had big gold hoops hanging from her ears. It would be a happy sight, if I hadn’t noticed her expression. She was so gentle with me, sitting by my bed and stroking my hair, sighing with sorrow on her face. I didn’t scream when I saw her. I just told that mother would not be pleased if she caught a gipsy in the house... Then she covered her face with her hands and sighed again...”

“«Oh, poor child...», she said. «Dear child... You must be strong now.»

“Then I knew, by the expression on her face, that something was terribly wrong. She gathered me into her arms and just looked at me, stroking my hair, my face... I remember her hands were cold. Then she told me.

“«Dear child... I am so sorry... However, there was nothing we could have done. Something terrible happened tonight.»

“I started to feel my lips quivering. I wasn’t liking this one bit. Still, my mother had always taught me that a lady must always keep her composure, so I forced myself not to cry. I got off her lap and stood. I remember telling myself to keep my chin high and to be calm.

«I want to know what you are doing here in my house, in my sleeping-room», I told her, using the sternest tone I could master. She didn’t laugh, nor did she get angry with me for my haughty manners. She just looked into my eyes, and then said:

«Your parents died, child. And the servants too.»

It didn’t make any sense to me at first. It was just like my first French lesson. I couldn’t understand a word. Then it slowly started to sink in, and I felt as if I had lost all my blood. I felt icy. Then my knees trembled and the next thing I knew I was huddling on the floor, my arms around my knees, rocking back and forth. Oh, no. Now I think of it, I first shouted at her. Yes, that’s it.

«It isn’t true! You are lying! God will punish you for lying! It is not true!»

«It is, child. They have eaten something which has killed them. Eggs, perhaps. Spoiled eggs. But they’re all dead...»

“Then I fell. I started to mumble to myself, countless times, «it isn’t true... It isn’t true...» Then, minutes later, or hours... I couldn’t say. She was there, holding me, she helped me up and took me to my mother’s chambers. She was lying on her bed, still wearing the clothes she had been wearing the night before, a beautiful green satin gown with her emerald earrings and necklace. Her maid was there, sitting on an armchair. They seemed to be sleeping. I remember shaking my mother, calling her, trying to make her wake up. Then the gipsy girl gently put her hands on my shoulders and led me away. She took me to my chambers again, someone had lit a fire and it was warm. Then I cried. I cried for how long I can not say. She stayed there with me all the time.

“I ended up falling asleep, exhausted, what with all that crying and sobbing. When I next woke up, she was still there. She told me they had buried everyone in the chapel and around it. Mother and father were inside, and the servants were around it. I asked who was going to look after me now that I had no one. I asked her if she was going to take me to a nunnery, or to an orphanage. She smiled and pulled me to herself and said that she would look after me herself with her husband. That there was no need for me to go away from «this beautiful house». That everything would be all right.

And so it was. I found out that her name was Ashena and her husband was called Andrash. The rest of the gypsies had gone away. However, they had stayed. I felt grateful and I thanked them, and she seemed happy to take care of me. She started telling me stories about fairies, and mermaids, and all sorts of creatures. She told me some of them were real. She did everything slowly, gradually, but I got to learn they were vampires. Meanwhile she also taught me other things, she taught me to read, write, to dance... She would make me beautiful dresses and she used to spend hours brushing my hair.

«Such beautiful hair you have, my dear child...», she used to say. She’d cook for me, she’d wash and clean and do everything a maid would do. I asked her how it was possible that she never got tired, cleaning such a grand house and doing all those things all by herself. That was about the time I came to know what they were.

I was twelve. It was one of those nights Andrash would get to look after me because Ashena had to go out. They never told me where they went those nights. But curious as I was, I decided I wouldn’t stop asking until I got an answer to my satisfaction. Therefore, they decided to tell me...

I was shocked, of course. But then, as I started piecing everything together, and as I saw it was obvious that it hadn’t been spoiled eggs that had killed my family, but them, I got angry. I looked at them with such fury that Andrash even looked away. Then I told them I hated them.

«How could you...», I said, not screaming anymore. I was acting coldly now, I was speaking deliberately low, each word chosen like a sharp knife, meant to hurt. «How could you have done this? Deceiving a child just for the fun of it? Killing an entire family? How could I ever think I loved you? How could I even think you were like my second parents? You are dark, filthy, evil creatures. And I hate you. I hate you with all my strength, with every fiber of my being. I hate you, and I will avenge my parents. You will get out of my house and go back to Hell, where you belong. Be gone. Be gone, because if you don’t, then I will. I’d rather die than keep on living in this farce of a family. What sick, twisted souls do you have, to do such a thing as this? Damn you and whatever which created you!»

“They were stunned. They had not been expecting this, they hadn’t thought I’d be this mad, this angry. They’d probably thought I’d be angry, but not like this, it had been five years ago, after all. They were confident that I would forgive them and perhaps even... accept it! However, what I found the strangest was Ashena crying. She cried real tears at my words. I hadn’t thought I would be able to hurt her in such a way for I had thought they had killed my family just for the fun of it. Andrash tried to sooth her at the same time that he was trying to explain himself.

«Sewenna, please try to be reasonable. We...»

«REASONABLE?», I screamed. My calm facade was slipping away. «And what more? Will you tell me I should be grateful for not having been murdered as well? You mock me... In my own house! Be gone! Be gone, I say!»”

Misty Dawn was looking at her, not a whisker moving.

“Bastet be merciful...”, she whispered, then louder, she asked: “How in the world did you forgive them?”

“I still don’t know... But I did. I’m not grateful for what they did. But I... I love them, Misty...”

“They let me go. Andrash tried to stop me but Ashena didn’t let him. I locked myself in my sleeping-chamber and did not get out for three whole days. I cried, I broke everything there was to break, I ripped the bed and window curtains, even the bed sheets. I screamed until my throat was bloody, until my voice wouldn’t work anymore. I was in a sort of trance afterwards. I remember waking up in a bed that wasn’t mine because this one had curtains around it. I was sore everywhere, as I came to know later I had thrown myself down the balcony. Not a fatal fall, but still a big one. And I had worn myself out. As Ashena came to check on me, I didn’t fight her off. I didn’t react at all. She’d feed me, clean me, and she never left my side. And she talked to me, though I never replied back. I still remember some of the things she said to me...

«I’m so sorry for what I had to do... I imagine you won’t forgive me, not now... Not soon... Perhaps not ever... But I wish you would try to understand... Why I did this... Why I killed your parents... Yes, because it was I. andrash had no part in it. I killed them, and the servants as well. Because if I killed the lord and the lady I could not leave any witnesses... I could not leave anyone alive... Except for you... I could and would never harm you... Because you were... You are the reason why I did it. I do not expect you to understand, but that is the truth. I did not choose to be what I am... And it is such a lonely life, being what I am... Living year after year, decade after decade, century after century, knowing you will never die... Watching the death of everyone you love and hold dear... I could not stand it, child... It was selfish, I know. However, selfishness was just a little sin, compared to my eternal life of loneliness... When I found Andrash we... We fell in love... It seemed there was a spark, which ignited each time we looked at each other, each time we touched, each time we spoke to each other... And thus, I told him what I was, and I asked him to share this lonely and miserable life with me, for I loved him, and I still do, and I always will. Imagine my joy when he accepted... I did not think he would. However, I could not force him, because when you love someone you have to let them choose... But he said yes, and so I bit him and turned him into something like me. And we thought that we had everything we would ever need and want in order to be happy... but I started to feel that something was missing. And when the gypsies came here... I found out what it was... The first time I saw you staring out the window towards our camp, towards our fire... I knew what was missing was a child... A child whom we could love and protect... Therefore, I decided to kill your parents, so that I could have you for myself... I would not take you away, no... I would not rob you of your house, of your place... And I thought that if... If we could raise you somewhere you’d be familiar with you would not feel so much pain... Perhaps I was wrong, I do not know. I have made mistakes... I don’t know if you’ll ever have it in you to forgive me... But please don’t ask me to leave you. I could not do it... It would be the same as asking me to part from Andrash, he is part of me... And so are you. I don’t know if I would be able to handle it, child... Oh... You must be laughing inside, at my arrogance. I killed your parents, your servants... I don’t ask you to forgive me but to stay with you... It must sound stupid, I know. But child... I could not bare the idea of you staying here with someone else taking care of you that was not me... I could not bare it if you were to go to a nunnery... Or to an orphanage... I could not... Now listen to me, I’m babbling...»

“She tucked the covers more snugly around me and changed the wet cloth on my forehead.

«Yes, I killed them. I killed your parents so that I could keep you for myself, so that I could keep you as my own... I would turn you into what I am, so that you could be part of our family forever... I do not regret what I have done... But I am sorry. I’m sorry for having caused you such pain.»

“She was cruelly sincere. So frank that it shocked me. And then touched me. I hadn’t forgiven her, no, not yet. But I started thinking. I had been taught by my mother, as she had been alive, to think with practicality. So pragmatic I was, I thought of possible solutions for my situation. What, honestly, could I do? Put them out? They, who had taken care of and looked after me when I had nobody else? Tell everyone they had killed my family and denounce them as vampires? I would certainly be judged mad. Or, if not, they would probably be sought by the Church and killed, I don’t know. But about me, I’d most certainly not be allowed to stay in my house, not even with a maid, I’d be taken to a nunnery or to some place where I’d be married off to someone who’d use it to rob me of my house and my property, which was a considerable fortune, the manor house and the land around it. In short, I’d have no chance of deciding anything concerning my own future. That would only happen if I stayed with them, or rather, let them stay with me. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that, if I let them think they had the least chance of being forgiven they would make it up to me. They would do anything I asked of them. I didn’t want toys or clothes, no, what I wanted was freedom to do very much as I pleased. And last but not the least, I knew they liked me. At least Ashena did, she had said it herself, she wanted me as if I was her own daughter.

“And so it was thus I decided to start showing signs of my coping. I started slowly, nodding when she asked me something, eating by myself without her having to give it to me as if I was but a helpless babe, shyly asking for something I wished, like a glass of water, or of milk. I had to stay in bed for some time. She said I had broken ribs, I was bruised and scraped. She started being sweeter and sweeter, because she was relieved that I was accepting things. When I could get up, the first thing I did was visit my parents’ grave, taking them flowers from the garden. I missed them... but I found out that I could hardly remember their faces, for it had been such a long time... This saddened me immensely, in a way that it made me cry. I stayed there for hours, I made them worry. When Andrash found me, it was almost dawn, for I had gotten out during the day, when they never did. He entered the chapel and found me sitting on the floor, beside the headstone. He said nothing, he did not scold me for being out so late, and he didn’t say how worried they were. He crouched down beside me and put one arm around my shoulders and stroked my arm.

«Come home, little one», he said, after a while. «It’s cold for you in here.»

“I let him help me stand and he took me home. Ashena was in the kitchen, through where we entered the house, and she was sitting on a chair, her head on her hands. She stood as soon as she heard us and relieve was written all over her face. She all but ran towards me, placed her hands on my shoulders and softly pulled me to herself, wrapping her arms gently around me.

«Oh sweetheart...», she murmured. «You are all right... Come, you must be cold and hungry...»

She took me to the small pantry where the housekeeper used to have her meals with the most important servants. There was a fire in the hearth and a kettle was hanging over it. She made me sit on an armchair and pulled a small table towards me, then she placed a cup in front of me, and a plate of cookies, slices of bread and a saucer with butter. She filled a teapot with boiling water and dropped a small bunch of herbs in it. Then she let the tea sit for some minutes, then filled my cup with the fragrant brew, sweetening it with honey.

«There, now, dear child.», she said with the beginning of a smile. She unwrapped the shawl she had around herself and put it around me, being careful with my hair. «What happened to you, my love?»

«I...», I started. For some reason I was reluctant to tell her where I had been. It was not guilt, for I had no reason to feel guilty about visiting my deceased parents whom she had killed... But still... It was something more or less like remorse... I didn’t know why I felt that way. Perhaps I was starting to let her take my mother’s place, now that she wasn’t here anymore, even if Ashena had been the one to kill her. Perhaps I thought, unconsciously, that she’d be hurt if I told her I had gone to visit my mother, perhaps I was afraid to make her feel that what she was doing wasn’t good enough. Which it was, don’t misjudge me. She might have killed everyone in my house, but not once did she treat me badly. She treated me like a princess, her precious little girl. «I was in the chapel.»

“She sighed and looked at my face more carefully. She noticed my red and puffy eyes, and she placed her arms around me, while sitting on the arm of my chair.

«Oh, sweet...», she whispered. And it was all I needed to burst into tears again, now uncontrollably, my body being racked by my sobs. She stayed there, stroking my hair and murmuring sweet nothings until I lifted my eyes to her and said:

«I can’t remember their faces... I should be... I feel bad about it...»

«Oh my love...», she said comfortingly. «You were just a little girl... It was a long time ago, that’s not your fault! Do not feel bad about that... You haven’t forgotten them, have you? You still remember how much they loved you, don’t you?»

«Yes...»

«Well then! That’s what matters, they will always be here, and you will always remember them in your heart! That’s not for not remembering their faces very well that you’ve forgotten them. And you want to know what I think?»

I nodded, snivelling.

«I think», she started, pulling my chin up so I was looking into her black eyes. «Your mother and father would be very sad if they saw you crying right now, don’t you agree?»

Then I knew she was right. And I decided to be straight foreward and ask her what I wanted to know, what I needed to know so that I could be in peace with myself by accepting her as my protectress and, in a way, mother.

«May I ask you something?», I questioned.

«Of course you may, sweetheart, anything.»

«You... Did they suffer? Did you hurt them much...?»

She seemed a little abashed by my question. But then she sighed and pulled me closer.

«No, sweetheart... They did not feel a thing... I made them fall asleep first, so they wouldn’t suffer...»

«Really? You’re not saying that to make me feel better are you?»

«No child, I’d never lie to you.»

For the first time since I had known the truth, I sighed in relieve and leant my head on her chest and closed my eyes. I think I fell asleep, right then and there, because when I next woke up I was tucked into a bed, Ashena lying on one side of me and Andrash on the other. They were holding hands, their arms over me.”

The cat seemed to smile mentally.

“What a lovely picture...”, she said. “Now I think I can understand...”

“Good. Because at first I used to feel guilty about not being sad anymore about my parents’ death. But the truth was that I was happy with my new family, I had decided to let them play the role they wanted to. Ashena would sit in a balcony with her needlework or knitting basket and watch me play in the garden with Andrash, I’d come home with scraped knees, rumpled clothes, my hair in disarray, she’d tut-tut in soft disapproval and I’d pretend to be sorry, just to do the same again the next day.

“When I turned sixteen, she asked me if I would accept to be turned. And I said yes, so she turned me. It was my birthday, and it was a full Moon night. I was in my chambers, I had left my childhood nursery and changed to more suitable rooms, bigger, more proper for a girl my age. I had a sitting/room, with comfortable armchairs and carpeted floor, there was a tea/table and a desk, everything made of beautifully and laboriously sculpted mahogany, there were tapestries on the walls, one of them I still have, it’s a landscape, a meadow and the ground is covered with grass and little yellow marigolds, and there’s a stream and, what I love the most, a white unicorn, its mane fluttering slightly in a breeze. The others, I’ve taken away for having tired of them.

“Then there was my dressing-chamber, with a dressing-table with an oval mirror with a little drawer on each side, where I usually put hair-pins and such. There is a beautiful oaken wardrobe, a divan covered in red velvet and with cushions scattered over it. And there’s a body-sized mirror in a golden sculpted frame. There also a chest of drawers and a trunk.

“You may ask, why I’m describing my chambers. Well, that’s because you haven’t seen all of them and I actually like making descriptions. Besides, they are beautiful, and I’m not bragging, that’s the pure and simple truth.

“My bedroom is just as luxurious. The bed has dark-red velvet curtains around it and a dark-red canopy. I didn’t choose these colours, I didn’t change them, I let everything stay just as my mother had decided. Except for the tapestries, I can get tired of images easily. Besides, Melusine has a great taste for art pieces and she is always presenting me with wonderful ones, so I obviously have to change them every once in a while.

“But we’re getting away from the point. Well, as I said, the moon was full that night. I was in my bedroom’s balcony watching it and enjoying the warm spring night, everything was blooming down in the garden. And she came, softly, stealthily, she appeared behind me and placed her hands on my waist, looking at the garden over my shoulder.

«Beautiful, isn’t it?», I asked.

«Very... And there is so much you can not appreciate... If you had senses as heightened as mine are you’d be surprised, there’s so much humans can’t notice...»

“I knew this was her hint. I didn’t flinch, I knew it was bound to happen some day. I knew I’d have to be turned soon, so that I could be with them forever, so that I would stop aging. Therefore, I turned to her and smiled.

«Is that an invitation?», I questioned. «You would heighten my senses as a birthday gift?»

«I would, if you wanted me to...», she replied.

«Wouldn’t Andrash be upset if you didn’t share with him?»

«Well, I came first... He will have to think of another gift.»

«I hope you don’t get too carried away in your err... Gifg-giving...»

“She knew what I meant. This was a subtle way for me to be sure she wouldn’t just kill me, instead of turning me.

«Oh no, I have a great self-control.»

“I nodded. But I was nervous. I was trying to seem strong, but I was afraid. I didn’t know for sure why, perhaps I was scared of the pain I would feel, or of not being able to go through the transformation. I still don’t know. But she always knew me so well...

«You’re scared, sweet one. I can see it in your eyes...»

I sighed and nodded.

«I don’t know why... Will it hurt? What if I can’t do it?»

«How so, can’t do it? It is I who will do it child. You are afraid of not going through all of it? Well, I tell you you will. There is nothing to be afraid of. And about the pain... Sweetheart, I can’t put you to sleep because I need you to stay with me, I need you to be awake and conscious.»

«What happens if I... If I faint?»

«If you faint it will be more difficult to bring you back... Not impossible, but difficult. And if you are asleep, your subconscious might decide you’d prefer to go to the other side, if you know what I mean. Why does that happen if you are sleeping and not if you faint? Because fainting would be a reaction to blood loss or to intense pain, whereas sleeping would be a free-willed action, which would increase the likelihood of going away. Can you understand it?»

«I guess so...»

«It will hurt, I won’t lie. But it’s bearable.»

We stood silent for a while, she was looking towards the garden, following something with her gaze. I followed it and saw something moving.

«What is it?», I asked.

«An owl...»

Some more minutes passed. Then, I couldn’t stand it any longer.

«You have to do it now...», I almost whispered. «If you don’t I’m afraid I’ll lose the courage...»

I was starting to shake.

«Oh, sweetheart... Don’t be frightened... I’ll be as gentle as I can, you know I would never hurt you intentionally!»

«I know, but still...»

«Oh, come here...», she said softly, pulling me into her arms. Then, I started crying. I felt a rush of emotions, suddenly I didn’t know if this was what I really wanted, or if I was ready to let her do it. She didn’t seem surprised as she saw my tears, she only comforted me and tried to calm me down while kissing my tears away.

«There, there, my little one... Everything will be all right. Do you want to wait some more time?»

“I shook my head. Somehow, I was sure if I waited longer I wouldn’t let her do it. It had to be today. It had to be now. She took me inside, on to my dressing-chamber, and made me sit down on the divan, seating herself beside me, one arm around me and her other hand holding one of mine.

«Sewenna», she said. She only called me by my name when she was being very serious, or when she wanted my full and unperturbed attention. «I know you can do this. I know you are strong, and it is not a little pain that will make you falter. Tell me the truth, what is it that’s scaring you?»

I took a steadying breath.

«Is it too bad...? Will it be too different?»

«Different, yes. Bad? Well... I would find it bad if I didn’t haveAndrash and if I didn’t have you... But with both of you it’s perfect...»

I smiled through my tears. She smiled too and made me lean on her, then slowly, carefully, she made me lay down on the cushions. She lay beside me, one of her legs thrown over my own, keeping me from trying to move away. Our dresses rustled while we moved closer, lace brushing against satin and more lace, ribbons mingling with frills and pearl necklaces, cold pale soft hands touching me softly, untying my bodice and undoing the corset’s lacings under it. She slowly placed herself on top of me, bracing herself with her elbows, looking into my green eyes.

«What if you tire of me?», I whispered to her. She smiled wider and kissed me on the forehead.

«Oh sweetheart... How can you even imagine such thing is possible? How could I ever tire of you? Don’t be frightened, just relax, I’ll be careful, I promise.»

She stroked my face with her cold hands, my cheeks, my jaw-line, my chin, her fingers slowly travelled down to my neck, caressing it, almost sensually, her fingertips softly stopped over my pulse point.

«You are so beautiful...», she whispered. «You have the face of an angel... Your skin is soft as rose petals and your lips... I never saw lips like yours, so red, always threatening to smile... Did you even know how beautiful you are? Have you ever stopped to think how it is almost sinful that someone could possess such beauty and grace? You could use it my love, you could make a weapon out of it, but you don’t! Because you are so innocent, so pure... I do not envy you; though I could not even elude myself in thinking I’m half as beautiful as you are... Do you know why? Because I am grateful for having you here with me, I thank the Gods everyday for having made me come across you in my life or whatever this is. I thank them everyday for being able to look after you and I couldn’t be happier than I am, because I have everything I could ever desire... I have a man who loves me and I have a child who’s more beautiful and graceful than a nymph and Whom I would give my life for... Now what else in the world could I ask for?»

“Her words had enticed me in a way that I couldn’t tear my eyes from hers, I couldn’t think of anything else but her words, her voice which sounded like a flute. Then, when I knew, her lips were at my neck, she kissed me and placed them over the pulsing vein.

«And now you’ll be mine, forever», she whispered, and her fangs tore into my flesh, making me gasp in sudden pain.

“I can’t say exactly what it felt like. It’s like nothing I can think of, a mixture of the feeling you get when you prick a finger with a needle and the feeling you get when you cut yourself with a knife. It was not unbearable, but it hurt, it bothered me. At the same time it was strangely pleasurable, I never felt so helpless, so impotent, her hands holding me in place, I couldn’t move. But it felt good in a way. Like... Like when you’re kissing someone and that person bites your lip and draws blood. It hurts but it still feels good, because you know that person loves you.

“She moaned in pleasure as she tasted my blood. After a while, I moaned too, perhaps because I was starting to feel weak, I don’t know.. I felt myself wrapping my arms around her. And I felt a hand on my hair that wasn’t hers. Andrash then spoke:

«Don’t close your eyes, little one. Stay with us, don’t slip away, It’ll be over soon.»

“I was starting to feel dizzy, my hands and feet were cold, and my vision was blurry. I felt an almost irresistible urge to close my eyes and welcome the darkness, but he wouldn’t let me. I was feeling numb. My heart, I could feel it, was beating slowly, oh so slowly...

“Then I started hearing someone calling me. The voice seemed far away, or better, it seemed I was under water and someone was calling me from outside. I didn’t know who was calling me or why, in fact I even wished they’d shut up and let me be. This was until I felt something wet dripping between my lips. It was warm, and tasted... It tasted...

“Imagine you had been wandering lost in a desert for hours, under the scolding sun. You had neither food nor water. You were almost hitting the state where you start having mirages. And suddenly someone appears with a rescuing helicopter and they give you a bottle of cool clean water. At first, you don’t believe you have it in your hands. Then you start to drink it and it feels like your mouth is dry and parched. And then... Then you start gulping it down as if there was no tomorrow, and even if you drink it to the last drop you still wish for more, and more, and more. At that moment, that liquid was the best thing you ever tasted in your life. You can even compare it to the sacred Ambrosia the Gods drank in Olympus. That, you decide, is the bringer of life.

“So was how I felt as that liquid started dripping between my slightly parted lips. First, I could hardly understand what was going on, but suddenly, desperately, I held on to that wrist with all my strength, I held on for dear life. Somewhere in the deepest parts of myself, instinctively, I knew that I needed that ambrosia, I needed it as much as fish need water to swim in and to breathe. It tasted so wonderful, I thought, at that time, I had never tasted anything so gratifying, so complete. It was warm, thicker than water, it was rich, and it tasted of metal and salt and of life. And I felt alive. Not just feeling everything around me in the background, I felt alive, more alive than ever. I could hear and smell and feel and taste everything which was around me, I could smell the lavender inside the drawers in small cloth bags, the cinnamon from Ashena’s perfume, the soft remaining smell of soap from the washing of our dresses, I could hear every rustling sound, every chirping from a cricket outside, the breeze whispering on the tree leaves, the owl hooting far away, somewhere a stream, I could hear Ashena softly breathing and Andrash running his hands up and down her arms and stroking her hair. And, most of all, there was the precious ambrosia dripping from the wrist I held close to my mouth.

“All too soon it was pulled away from me.

«Goodness...», Ashena breath. «You are a hungry child, aren’t you? How do you feel my love?»

I took a deep breath, still feeling the human urge to do it to calm myself.

«Thirsty... I’m so thirsty...»

She smiled and leant over me, kissing my forehead.

«Happy birthday, Sewenna.», she said, solemnly. «And welcome to our family.»

Andrash smiled and stroked my hair affectionately.

«We’re very happy you’ve accepted to join us permanently, little one.», he said. «Oh, I have your birthday gift somewhere. It might quench your thirst somewhat.»

«Oh, I should have known...», Ashena said, in an accusing but not hard tone. «Where is it?»

«In the cellar. I thought it would be safe there, and... Quiet. Shall I go get it?»

«Certainly, my love, our child must be desperate. I remember you were...»

He smiled and pulled her towards himself and kissed her softly.

«Her blood tastes like Heaven.», he stated. «And tasting it from your lips makes me think I’m in paradise.»

Then he lowered his voice. Of course, I heard what he said, now my hearing was more accurate and higher, but he probably forgot or didn’t really care.

«And I think we should celebrate, my muse, when we retire to our chambers, what do you think?»

She chuckled in her special way and gave him a quick kiss.

«Of course my love, we will do that. Now go get our little girl her gift, before her thirst makes her feel desperate. Oh, and you are right... Her blood really tastes like heaven...»