Why Must I Suffer?

Thanks so much Kylee for the review! :)


~There's a hidden meaning to all things that happen. I hope you'll remain yourself even if your dream begins to vanish because I'll always be here.~ Motherland - Crystal Kay


Jaiden left the Head USERs and walked towards the medical hall. He was unsure if the decision made by Marco was best. Seth was already twenty-two. Training him would take lots of time and work. USERs began training at age eight. Jaiden would have to fit eight years of training into one.

He stopped outside of Seth's recovery room. He hoped Seth wouldn't hate him for this. For some reason, alien to Jaiden, he didn't think he could handle Seth hating him.

"Seth, are you awake?" He asked, knocking on the door.

"Yeah, come in."

Jaiden opened the door and walked in. Seth lay on a single bed by a window. He had bandages wrapped around his chest and arm. Jaiden walked over to the bed.

"Marco has made his decision. He has chosen not to kill you."

Seth sighed in relief. "Great."

"Instead, he has chosen to make you a USER."

Seth looked at Jaiden. "A USER? Like you?"

"Yes. I'll be training you. You're my new partner."

"I can't be a USER. I have a life to get to. Family and friends."

"They are no longer important."

"Don't say that!" Seth shouted. "They are important! I love them!"

"I know you must-"

"You don't know anything! You have no family! You're just a lonely killer!"

Jaiden didn't know what to say. "Seth, I know you're upset, but this is how things are. I have been given an order. I will follow it. You will be trained as a USER." Jaiden said, his voice steady and flat.

He turned to leave, stopping at the door. "The medical team will be here to heal you. Tomorrow afternoon, we begin."

Jaiden left an angry Seth to think in his room. He saw Camille waiting for him outside the room. He ignored her but she followed him anyway. She reached out a hand and grabbed his shoulder gently. He stopped walking.

"Why does it hurt so much?" He asked.

She walked around in front of him. "What hurts?"

He touched his chest. "This does."

She smiled softly. "You're heart is heavy."

"Why?"

"When you hurt someone else, it makes your heart heavy. It makes you sad."

"I'm not supposed to feel anything. It creates weakness."

"Feeling doesn't make you weak Jaiden. It makes you human."

"I don't like feeling huamn. It hurts too much. It's confusing."

Camille held his hand. "Only because you're not used to it."

He withdrew his hand. Her smile faltered slightly, but enough that Jaiden saw it.

"I'm going home."

+++++++

Jaiden opened the door to his apartment. The marble floors were shining from the streetlights outside. The apartment was quiet, as it always was. He walked into the bedroom at the back. The only thing in it was a bed and a dresser. He shed his coat on the floor and sat on the bed.

"Why are you in my head?" He asked no one.

He'd always found talking to himself a way to make himself feel less alone. His head was filled with blurring thoughts and questions. Seth was on his mind. But he didn't know why. What was he feeling?

Jaiden fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Was he sad? Sorry that he had been the one to give Seth such news? Was it guilt he was feeling? The more he thought, the more the heaviness in his chest moved down. He felt like he could choke.

Not bothering to change his clothes, Jaiden lay back on the bed and willed himself to sleep.