Savior

Kenta

“Wh-what? Ryuu you can’t . . . you can’t be serious.” Why the fucking hell would he want me after what I’d done? I’d promised myself years ago that if I was ever lucky enough to find someone I would never treat them the way I’d seen my family treated. Yet, Ryuu and I were only hours into . . . whatever this was and I’d already hurt him.

“I am serious. Very serious.” His eyes were shimmering as he looked at me. How could anyone look that good after crying? His cheeks were flushed, his hair a mess, his eyes holding too much emotion in them. I was losing myself. Totally and completely.

“Ryuu, I-“ He kissed me again and I was shocked at the need in it. I could taste his tears, the slight saltiness mixing with the almost sweet flavor that was him. How could something so simple make me feel like I was falling? A lost breathless sensation, it reminded me of when I rode my bike hard and fast, leaving me high and shivering. This was so much better. So fucking much better. Before I knew it I had reached out, one hand in his hair, the other on his hip. I could care less that my ribs were screaming at me. I didn’t want to let him go.

He pulled back just enough so that we could breathe, our lips still touching. The feather light touch making them tingle even more. Holy hell he was a good kisser. I slid my hand through his hair, my eyes locked on his.

“Is that really what you want? You want me . . .”

“I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you.” His voice sent a chill down my spine. I let out a slow breath, not sure what to say. I’d never dated anyone. I’d messed around with a few girls, but Ryuu was so-so different from any relationship I’d ever had. The thought of being able to call him my boyfriend, my lover, was something that caused a weird fluttering sensation in my stomach. I played with a stand of the silky hair, not quite able to meet his eyes. This was going to kill me.

“Really? Cause I seem to remember being laid up in the hospital the first time I met you. Had to look like shit.”

“It wasn’t your looks that made me want you Kenta, though you were incredibly hot in that hospital gown. But that’s not the point. You’d risked your life for Reiko. All I saw was someone who was brave and willing to do anything for their friends. I saw the person who was willing to help someone even if they got hurt in the process, someone who was trustworthy and kind.”

I nearly snorted at that, but looking at him I could see he believed every word of it. It made me feel sick to know I was going to prove him wrong. “I just helped her cause I was scared she’d hurt herself otherwise.”

He smiled at me. “See. You are exactly like I said.”

I tugged on the piece of hair. “Shut it. Are you trying to embarrass me or something?”

He giggled at that and reaching up took my hand out of his hair. Holding it he brought it to his lips and kissed each of my bruised knuckles, the soft touches sending tingles racing up my arm.

“Ryuu . . .”

“I never get tired of hearing you say my name.” He leaned back up until our lips were almost touching again. “I just love listening to you talk.”

I leaned back giving him a look. “You really are weird. That doesn’t say a fucking lot about me though.”
He busted out laughing and sat back patting my leg. “I guess not. Come on. We are taking you to a clinic. You can give me your answer later.”

“Um, no you aren’t. All they are going to do is tell me to wrap up, take some meds and not move around a lot. Besides I already know my answer.”

The look in his eyes nearly broke me right there. Fuck.

“Ryuu I can’t.”


Ryuu

Even as much as I’d tried to prepare myself for it, it still hurt like hell. I’d asked on a whim, but it was too much too soon. I could tell. Taking a deep breath I swallowed, forcing down the searing pain in my chest. I smiled and got to my feet.

“Can’t go to the clinic? Don’t be silly. I’ll pay for it.”

“Ryuu, that isn’t what I meant.”

I looked down into those deep unfathomable eyes and slowly nodded feeling the smile failing. “I understand. Got to keep work and . . . pleasure separate.” I nodded turning away before he could say anything. “You are still going to the clinic, don’t make me get Jiro.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t push me.” I glanced back at him and could see the hesitancy in his eyes. I wondered if it was about going to the clinic or something else. Opening the door I headed back down the hall. I felt heavy and listless, but did my best to put on a happy, cheerful face. At least he wasn’t mad at me. Yet. He’d probably be mad once we got to the clinic. “Jiro-”

“I’m fucking coming!”

I smiled at that even though it felt strained. I could see Sora out of the corner of my eye, watching me.
“We are going to the clinic.”

Slipping my shoes on, I didn’t look up. I would probably just go home after making sure Kenta was alright. I didn’t really want to be around anyone right now. My back was starting to hurt from getting tossed on the floor earlier and a soak in the tub sounded nice. Would have been even nicer if Kenta would join me, but I’d ruined that by being to needy. Ruined everything.

***

“Ryuu, you are in the wrong key.”

Akira’s voice snapped me out of the daze I’d been in. I looked down at the sheet music and realized he was right. “Oh, sorry. Um . . . care if we take a break?”

“No, we haven’t had one in a while.”

I sat on my stool staring at the music, the subtle sounds of everyone leaving the studio not even really registering. Two weeks. It had been two weeks already. It felt like years. I’d seen Kenta three times since that day at Akira’s apartment. Apparently he was busy with work. Hayate had come with me on a couple of press conferences and a signing giving some excuse for Kenta each time. It felt like he was avoiding me. I felt lost without his quiet somber presence around, his gruff no nonsense demeanor. Was I really that used to having him around?

“Are you getting sick Ryuu?” Sora was standing over me. I hadn’t even noticed him.

“Oh. No. I’m fine.”

“You don’t look good. You’ve got dark circles under your eyes and you are a lot paler than usual.”

“Gee thanks.”

“I’m serious Ryuu, even your singing is off. We haven’t been able to lay a decent track in days. Maybe you should go to the doctor.”

I shook my head. “No, I think I’m just tired. I’ve not been sleeping well.”

“Nightmares again? You know you can always call me or even just come over.”

“No, that’s not it. I just . . . I don’t know.” I shrugged.

“Alright, just take care of yourself Ryuu. If you need anything you just call me. I think we need to stop for today anyway.”

They all left not too long after that. I wandered around the empty apartment. There wasn’t anything I wanted to watch on TV and trying to compose right now would be useless. I finally ended up lying on my bed staring out at the slowly darkening sky.


Kenta

I flipped open my phone, trying to juggle it and the box of paperwork Isao had given me to archive. Crazy ass pencil pusher needed to get an assistant and quit asking me to do this shit.

“Hey-“

“Kenta? It’s Sora. Have you heard from Ryuu?”

Letting the box down I straightened, frowning. “No, not for a few days. Why?”

“He’s not answering his phone and I just tried to go check on him and he wasn’t at the apartment.”

“When did you see him last?”

“Yesterday afternoon. The doorman said he left sometime last night . . . Kenta he never came home.”

I nearly dropped the phone. “Wh-what? Ryuu doesn’t just go out, not like that. Fuck.”

“Yeah I know. It’s got me really worried. He was acting strange yesterday and honestly I think he was getting sick.”

“Ryuu is never sick.”

“Yeah I know, so he probably didn’t even realize it. Kenta, you need to find him.”

“Yeah.” I felt like someone had taken my guts and twisted them inside out. “Yeah, I’ll uh . . . I’ll call you.”

“Thanks Kenta.”

I hung up and leaned against the wall behind me. Shaking myself, I took a breath. Where would Ryuu go if he wasn’t feeling good? Shoving off the wall I headed to the front of the office. Isao was at the computer tapping away at that infernal keyboard.

“Iesada, I got a problem.”

He looked at me over the rim of his glasses. “You are a problem Arakaki. What’s wrong this time?”

“Ryuu is missing.”

“Oh shit, that is a problem. Aren’t you supposed to be his bodyguard?”

“Don’t fucking rub it in! You’ve had me here doing shit for the past two weeks.”

“You could have said something.”

“Like you’d fucking listen.”

He sighed. “You are right. I try my level best to ignore your idiocy at all times. You need help finding him?”

“Yeah.” I felt like punching the mouthy shithead but Hayate would kill me.

“Give me thirty minutes.”

“Okay.”

It took fifteen. “One of the guys spotted him about three hours ago at a net café over on the lower south side. He’s not come out yet. Here is the address.”

“Awesome!” I snatched up the paper, thanking him on my way out. He might be a mouthy son of a bitch, but he got stuff done.

***

The net café was a nice one. All the cubicles looked full. Going to the little food bar I asked the girl making drinks if she’d seen Ryuu.

“Oh, how could I forget a hottie like that? Yeah. He’s in A3, but you aren’t supposed to bother-“

I turned and walked off. I had the information I needed. The door was shut, but there was no sound coming from the other side. I went to knock on it and paused suddenly feeling nervous. I hadn’t talked to him in days and hadn’t seen him for even longer. Things had been fucking awkward ever since the day at Jiro’s. He hadn’t even been calling as often as he normally did. I just figured he was pissed at me. Who wouldn’t be? I fucking thrown him across a room then turned him down when he’d asked me out. So now, I wasn’t really sure what to expect.

Sliding the door open I scrambled to catch him as he fell backward. “Fuck! Ryuu!”

Kneeling down I tried to prop him up. He was sweating like crazy, his shirt soaked and he felt entirely too hot to the touch. Glazed eyes slowly focused on me as he struggled weakly to get up.

“Oh hi.”

“Ryuu . . . fuck. You are sick. Why the hell aren’t you at home?”

“It’s lonely.”

It couldn’t possibly have hurt worse if he’d taken a dull knife and stabbed it right through me. If I’d been doing what I was supposed to, doing my fucking job, he wouldn’t be here like this, wouldn’t have been wandering around sick all night. I’d put him in danger by not being there. I was a fucking failure. Not anymore. Not fucking again. Shifting around, I scooped him up. He was lighter. Why the fuck was he lighter?

“Excuse me sir?” I looked up to see the lady from earlier looking worried. “Is there something I can help you with.”

“Yeah, call me a cab.”

She nodded, her eyes never leaving Ryuu. “Right away sir.”

I held him against me, feeling him shake every so often. Fuck. I had to get him to a clinic. Nakamara was going to have my balls. Worse than that, he was going to fire me. Setting Ryuu down, I took my jacket off and wrapped it around him before picking him up again. I gasped as there was a sudden sharp pain in my side. Shaking it off, I walked toward the front keeping a tight hold on Ryuu. The cab was just pulling up. I nodded to the girl as she held the door open for me. Ryuu was saying something, but with his face buried against my neck I couldn’t make out what it was. I was starting to sweat just from carrying him he was so hot to the touch. It was scaring me. If his fever was too high it could get dangerous.

The ride to the clinic was tense. I played with my phone, dialing Nakamara then shutting it. I finally decided to call Sora. Someone needed to know I’d found him. Sora picked up on the second ring and I could hear a video game going in the background.

“Kenta? Turn that down will you, Hasu? Did you find him? Is he alright? Where was he?”

“Um. He was at a net café. We are on our way to a clinic. He’s um . . . he’s really sick.”

“Which clinic?”

I told him wondering how soon I’d know if I’d lost my job or not. I hadn’t told Nakamara about having Hayate go with Ryuu instead of going myself. I’d just thought that giving him some space would be better. I was lying to myself. I knew I was. Fucking lying. I just couldn’t handle being around him every day. When I was around him all I could think about was . . . things I shouldn’t be thinking about. His safety was my priority. Nothing else. Reaching over I smoothed the sweat soaked hair back from his face.

“I’m sorry Ryuu.”


Ryuu

Light woke me. It was too bright to sleep any longer. I slowly opened my eyes almost dreading what I would see. I had heard voices several times when I’d wake just enough to have someone give me some water. After the second time that had happened, I’d realized I was very sick. It was scary. My body wouldn’t move and for a while I’d nearly panicked trying to get up. Nothing had made sense at that point. The only thing that came through clearly was Kenta’s voice. Knowing that he was there meant I didn’t have to worry. I’d actually slept after that.

I wondered if it was morning. The clock said it was two, must be afternoon. Turning my head the other way I blinked seeing Kenta half laying on the bed, one arm stretched out toward me. My heart sped up. How long had he been there? Why was he here? I slowly reached over, running my fingers through the dark strands. Now that I was awake I could remember hearing his voice the whole time since he’d first found me at the net café. I wasn’t really sure how I’d gotten there, that part was kind of a blur. I’d just known that something didn’t feel right. I’d thought that maybe going out would help. Apparently not.

He stirred slightly under my fingers and I froze. Would he be mad at me for touching him? I just didn’t know what to do anymore. He was so confusing. Taking my hand out of his hair I laid my head back turning to look out the window again. I should just give up. I wasn’t willing to lose his friendship over this. I could deal with not being closer. I would deal with it. Closing my eyes, I bit down on the urge to cry. I wasn’t going to. He’d just get on to me for it anyway.

I nearly jumped feeling warm fingers suddenly surrounding mine. I turned my head, only to smile weakly seeing Sora standing next to the bed. Kenta was still sound asleep.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You look like shit.”

“You look like a walking mop, a dirty one.”

Sora just chuckled and shook his head, keeping his voice down. “You gave us quite a scare yesterday, Ito.”

“Sorry. I knew something didn’t feel right and thought going out would help.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because I always call you. It’s not fair to you Sora.”

“Bullshit. You could have called this idiot.” Sora glanced down at Kenta.

I shook my head. “No, he . . . just no.”

“He stayed up all night with you last night. He must have passed out just a few minutes ago. I was just in here thirty minutes ago and he was still awake.”

I shifted around to sit up, leaning against the headboard. “Well, it’s his job isn’t it?” Even I heard the bite in my voice and I suddenly felt bad.

“Yeah . . . about that. I think Nakamara is going to fire him.”

I jerked around to face Sora. “What! No! No, he can’t! I won’t allow it! I-it was my fault. I . . . was too pushy.” A dry laugh escaped me and I dropped my head, plucking at the covers. “If anything he could sue me for sexual harassment.”

“I don’t think he would do that Ryuu.” At Sora’s gentle tone I looked up. “He really does like you Ryuu. We . . . talked for a bit last night at the clinic. He’s terrified of getting fired, but he’s more scared of messing things up for you.”

I stared at Sora trying to process that information. Kenta and scared didn’t go in the same sentence. I looked back down at the dark head. It was just like Kenta to think of someone else before himself. I just wished he would let me back in. I’d been shoved back outside that barrier and it seemed higher than ever.

“I don’t know Sora.”

“Just . . . don’t give up Ryuu. If you can’t win, where will I be?”

“Jacking off to those photos you sneak when he’s not looking.”

Sora’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “If you weren’t sick I’d . . . sometimes I don’t even know why I bother.”

“Cause you love me!” I grinned at him as I shifted back down under the covers and rolled over onto my side. I was feeling sleepy again. I curled up around Kenta laying a hand on his. “Besides, it’s what I do. So I know you’d do it too.”

“Oh my god, Ryuu . . . you are just . . . never mind. Go back to sleep for a bit. I’ll bring you something to eat here after while.”

“Sora.” I waited till he’d turned back around. “Thanks and . . . I will keep trying. I refuse to give up on him.”