Only the Heart Knows Why
folder
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,414
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,414
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Embarrassment
Six: Embarrassment
(Characters belong to me and Azathoia. Also, please read his story "Only the Heart Knows Why, Quax's Days"… Have a nice day.)
Wednesday came and went. Thursday did too. Now it is Friday. I can’t stand it in here anymore. I smoke one more cigarette before going out the door, locking it before I leave for school. It’s just so boring on my own. I walk down the street, and after awhile I finally come to the school. Glancing around, I see no sign of Rufus so I guess it must be safe then. Maybe they really did suspend him for the rest of the week.
Looking over to the side, I see Hikari and her little group of friends. Quax is there too, but I don’t think he’s noticed me yet. Good. I head up the stairs to the school and go inside. I don’t really feel like seeing anyone right now. I walk into the classroom and take my seat, still getting a couple looks, but not as many as that day.
Quax walks in just before the bell rings, and is genuinely surprised to see me sitting here. I give him a nod and take out my book. The teacher starts with his usual lecturing, and I actually take notes on it for once. I can feel Quax’s eyes on me again, though he’s probably trying to make it seem discreet. I casually look at him, and whisper, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Then I go back to my note-taking, ignoring him for the rest of the class. The bell rings and everyone starts heading for the door. I look at Quax, pick up my things, and then casually ask, “Want me to walk you to your class?”
He blinks at me, and his face goes red. “Uh, s-sure.” Wow, he stuttered. He must like me more than I thought. So we walk out of the room and down the halls. The crowd parts around us as we walk, and I feel… different. I can’t even begin to explain it. Quax seems happier than usual. That is, until he trips over his own feet. The other students in the hall turn and laugh at him, and that’s quite a few people. He stands back up again, quickly glances around at the others then retreats into the bathroom. I feel like going in after him, oddly enough, but I turn around instead and go to my own class. Maybe I’m just lonely and am clinging to the next guy that I know likes me. Hell, I need Kaddar back!
The whole next class is spent thinking about him. His naturally blonde hair, cradling his face so perfectly. That smooth voice of his. His green eyes staring back at me. His muscular body pressed against mine on his bed. Messy, wet kisses shared between us. His wandering hands, his strong legs, his perfect ass, oh MY GOD!!
I let my head drop to the desk. My thoughts are really betraying my location right now. I cross my legs, trying to keep the blushing to a very low minimum as the teacher passes around the homework. She asks me what’s wrong. “Nothing is wrong,” I say, just a little too quickly. She gives me a look, but goes back to passing out the homework. Ugh, damn it… I never knew my imagination could be so… frustratingly irritating!
There’s still fifteen minutes left of class. I can make it. I can make it. I can make it… Damn it, Kaddar, you bastard. Just come here and take me already! Sighing, I try to think of something else, anything that could get this image out of my head. Rufus. My head hits the desk again. Rufus is so… ew, no way would I ever want to do him. Trying to keep my thoughts focused on him isn’t easy, though. They keep trying to linger to hotter guys. By the time the bell rings, I feel as though I have successfully disgusted myself enough that I wouldn’t even have sex with Kaddar for awhile. Rufus is just… ew.
***
At lunch, I don’t even see Vale anywhere. Figures she would skip. I sigh, and walk over to my table. Seems I’ll be eating alone today. Nothing wrong with that. Just like old, old times, right? So I sit down and poke at my food, staring down at it. Suddenly I’m not very hungry anymore. Pushing it away, I rest my head on my arms on the table. I should have just stayed home today, or something. There’s nothing here for me right now. Not until Kaddar comes back. I don’t want to seem desperate, but damn it… I really am now. I look over at my untouched food. Not eating can’t be good for me, but I just don’t have any appetite now. My stomach growls in protest though, and my head once again meets the flat surface of a table. I want to go away. Just let me go away.
You’re nothing but a worthless, no good son. This is why you get punished! Do you really think I enjoy doing this to you, Kanau?!
The words cut me, deep. It’s as though my sanity is dripping out. I spring out of my chair when I feel a hand touch my shoulder, the chair crashing to the ground so loudly. It’s the only thing I hear as I look at who it is. I don’t say anything to him. I turn and walk out, leaving Quax standing where he is. I don’t fucking need his help!
***
That evening… I find myself on a bench at the park. I smoke my last cigarette as the sun goes down. My phone is in my pocket, but I haven’t called Kaddar. I want to. I really want to, but what would I say? If I told him I nearly had a panic attack at school… he’d come home sooner then. My hand reaches down into my pocket and touches the phone. Do I want to call and tell him that though? I sigh, unable to decide now. The drug falls from my hand onto the grass, and I stomp it out. I need more smokes.
I walk to the grocery store. I’m like on automatic as I walk in, going to the nearest checkout lane. There’s a little girl sitting in the cart in front of me. She watches me and smiles. I have to admit… she’s a really cute kid. Her mother is busy writing out a check, so I smile back at the little girl and she giggles. The mother gets her bags in her cart and walks away then. “You like kids?” I glance at the cashier. I should have known it would be Quax.
I smile. “Kids are… usually luckier than us old people. They don’t have to worry about as much shit.” I take my ID out, and tell him again what I want. “Camel light.”
“You’re smoking yourself into an early grave,” he mutters, but grabs the pack anyway and rings it up.
“Maybe then I wouldn’t have to deal with anything if I was in a grave,” I say, taking out my wallet. He doesn’t seem to find that funny. I don’t care. I give him the money and he gives me the pack. “See you at school Monday, Clumsy,” I tell him, heading to the door. I sigh as I walk outside, the night breeze blowing in my face. Maybe that was a bit harsh… but, I have to remember I don’t want to like him. Sighing again, I start heading home, but then my phone starts ringing. I take it out of my pocket and am about to answer it, until I see the number and name. Aledren must be home… Kaddar isn’t back yet. I don’t want to go home, but I can’t go to Kaddar’s place without him there. I wouldn’t even think about asking Vale. Reluctantly, I go back inside and back over to Quax. He looks at me, a mixed expression of curiosity and confusion on his face. I try to find the words that don’t want to come out. Finally… I ask him, “Could I maybe… stay at your place tonight?”
(Characters belong to me and Azathoia. Also, please read his story "Only the Heart Knows Why, Quax's Days"… Have a nice day.)
Wednesday came and went. Thursday did too. Now it is Friday. I can’t stand it in here anymore. I smoke one more cigarette before going out the door, locking it before I leave for school. It’s just so boring on my own. I walk down the street, and after awhile I finally come to the school. Glancing around, I see no sign of Rufus so I guess it must be safe then. Maybe they really did suspend him for the rest of the week.
Looking over to the side, I see Hikari and her little group of friends. Quax is there too, but I don’t think he’s noticed me yet. Good. I head up the stairs to the school and go inside. I don’t really feel like seeing anyone right now. I walk into the classroom and take my seat, still getting a couple looks, but not as many as that day.
Quax walks in just before the bell rings, and is genuinely surprised to see me sitting here. I give him a nod and take out my book. The teacher starts with his usual lecturing, and I actually take notes on it for once. I can feel Quax’s eyes on me again, though he’s probably trying to make it seem discreet. I casually look at him, and whisper, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Then I go back to my note-taking, ignoring him for the rest of the class. The bell rings and everyone starts heading for the door. I look at Quax, pick up my things, and then casually ask, “Want me to walk you to your class?”
He blinks at me, and his face goes red. “Uh, s-sure.” Wow, he stuttered. He must like me more than I thought. So we walk out of the room and down the halls. The crowd parts around us as we walk, and I feel… different. I can’t even begin to explain it. Quax seems happier than usual. That is, until he trips over his own feet. The other students in the hall turn and laugh at him, and that’s quite a few people. He stands back up again, quickly glances around at the others then retreats into the bathroom. I feel like going in after him, oddly enough, but I turn around instead and go to my own class. Maybe I’m just lonely and am clinging to the next guy that I know likes me. Hell, I need Kaddar back!
The whole next class is spent thinking about him. His naturally blonde hair, cradling his face so perfectly. That smooth voice of his. His green eyes staring back at me. His muscular body pressed against mine on his bed. Messy, wet kisses shared between us. His wandering hands, his strong legs, his perfect ass, oh MY GOD!!
I let my head drop to the desk. My thoughts are really betraying my location right now. I cross my legs, trying to keep the blushing to a very low minimum as the teacher passes around the homework. She asks me what’s wrong. “Nothing is wrong,” I say, just a little too quickly. She gives me a look, but goes back to passing out the homework. Ugh, damn it… I never knew my imagination could be so… frustratingly irritating!
There’s still fifteen minutes left of class. I can make it. I can make it. I can make it… Damn it, Kaddar, you bastard. Just come here and take me already! Sighing, I try to think of something else, anything that could get this image out of my head. Rufus. My head hits the desk again. Rufus is so… ew, no way would I ever want to do him. Trying to keep my thoughts focused on him isn’t easy, though. They keep trying to linger to hotter guys. By the time the bell rings, I feel as though I have successfully disgusted myself enough that I wouldn’t even have sex with Kaddar for awhile. Rufus is just… ew.
***
At lunch, I don’t even see Vale anywhere. Figures she would skip. I sigh, and walk over to my table. Seems I’ll be eating alone today. Nothing wrong with that. Just like old, old times, right? So I sit down and poke at my food, staring down at it. Suddenly I’m not very hungry anymore. Pushing it away, I rest my head on my arms on the table. I should have just stayed home today, or something. There’s nothing here for me right now. Not until Kaddar comes back. I don’t want to seem desperate, but damn it… I really am now. I look over at my untouched food. Not eating can’t be good for me, but I just don’t have any appetite now. My stomach growls in protest though, and my head once again meets the flat surface of a table. I want to go away. Just let me go away.
You’re nothing but a worthless, no good son. This is why you get punished! Do you really think I enjoy doing this to you, Kanau?!
The words cut me, deep. It’s as though my sanity is dripping out. I spring out of my chair when I feel a hand touch my shoulder, the chair crashing to the ground so loudly. It’s the only thing I hear as I look at who it is. I don’t say anything to him. I turn and walk out, leaving Quax standing where he is. I don’t fucking need his help!
***
That evening… I find myself on a bench at the park. I smoke my last cigarette as the sun goes down. My phone is in my pocket, but I haven’t called Kaddar. I want to. I really want to, but what would I say? If I told him I nearly had a panic attack at school… he’d come home sooner then. My hand reaches down into my pocket and touches the phone. Do I want to call and tell him that though? I sigh, unable to decide now. The drug falls from my hand onto the grass, and I stomp it out. I need more smokes.
I walk to the grocery store. I’m like on automatic as I walk in, going to the nearest checkout lane. There’s a little girl sitting in the cart in front of me. She watches me and smiles. I have to admit… she’s a really cute kid. Her mother is busy writing out a check, so I smile back at the little girl and she giggles. The mother gets her bags in her cart and walks away then. “You like kids?” I glance at the cashier. I should have known it would be Quax.
I smile. “Kids are… usually luckier than us old people. They don’t have to worry about as much shit.” I take my ID out, and tell him again what I want. “Camel light.”
“You’re smoking yourself into an early grave,” he mutters, but grabs the pack anyway and rings it up.
“Maybe then I wouldn’t have to deal with anything if I was in a grave,” I say, taking out my wallet. He doesn’t seem to find that funny. I don’t care. I give him the money and he gives me the pack. “See you at school Monday, Clumsy,” I tell him, heading to the door. I sigh as I walk outside, the night breeze blowing in my face. Maybe that was a bit harsh… but, I have to remember I don’t want to like him. Sighing again, I start heading home, but then my phone starts ringing. I take it out of my pocket and am about to answer it, until I see the number and name. Aledren must be home… Kaddar isn’t back yet. I don’t want to go home, but I can’t go to Kaddar’s place without him there. I wouldn’t even think about asking Vale. Reluctantly, I go back inside and back over to Quax. He looks at me, a mixed expression of curiosity and confusion on his face. I try to find the words that don’t want to come out. Finally… I ask him, “Could I maybe… stay at your place tonight?”