Mikael Pacioli

One Month.

The Wiltshire clock struck 7, the heavy clanging ringing throughout the Centre and signaling the start of the day. In the library, Mikael shut up the books he'd been poring over and stacked them on his desk. Breakfast started at 8, and if he walked quickly, he'd be able to shower and eat and still make it to the exam early. It couldn't hurt, he figured, to be early.

Blake came up to him as he was finishing his meal. The carrier was wearing a pale blue sweater today, and a dark blue natori. He sat down in the empty chair next to Mikael.
"Hey! So are you ready for the big day?"
Mikael shrugged; in truth, he was agonizingly nervous, but he didn't think he could just say so to Blake.
"I'm fine. It's just a test, right?"
Blake nodded.
"Yeah! Yeah, exactly. And it's basically just like any other test you've taken in your lifetime. It's even easier, in fact! Because there's no right or wrong answers - we just want to get to know you!" Blake smiled brightly. "So just remember to be honest, to be open, and most of all to be careful! Your one-month assessment is important. Really important, because it helps us understand how you're progressing, and how far you have left to go."
Mikael looked at the last bit of oatmeal in his bowl and decided to leave it.
"OK. Right. I've got it. I'll be fine."
Blake peered closely at him.
"You sure?"
Mikael nodded with a confidence he did not feel.
"Positive."

~:~

Results from the one-month assessment exam were posted two days later, and Mikael went along with the rest of the new CEC arrivals to see them when they were posted. He checked for his ID number and traced the line across - there was no grade, only a note written in by hand: 'See Testing Office.'

The carrier at the front desk of the Testing Office was a rather testy redhead who kept checking the telephone screen as if hoping someone more interesting than Mikael would call in.
"...so I came here, like it said? And I thought maybe someone would be expecting me, but I'm not really sure what the situation is, so I don't know if - "
Mikael's nervous babbling was cut off by someone calling his name.
"Carrier Pacioli?" A neat-looking officer in his forties had stepped out of a back office and was looking forward, at Mikael. He smiled warmly. "Why don't you come on back?"

The man introduced himself, settled Mikael into a seat, and then made a few phone calls which resulted in the room being inhabited, eventually, by Mikael, the man himself, and three other officers. They sat Mikael in a chair at the heart of a semi-circle and smiled solicitously at him.
"So!" the first man began, "If we're all gathered, then why don't we go ahead and get started?"
Nods of consent went all around.
"OK. Mikael, you've obviously been invited here to talk because of your performance on the assessment exam."
Mikael glanced around the room.
"OK...yeah, I guess."
An older man in a lab coat who was seated in the center of the group smiled brightly and peered at Mikael over the tops of his glasses.
"Excellent. Now, what do you expect we want to talk to you about?"
Mikael felt blindsided - he'd never been called into a room like this before. Even when he was young, if he'd done something wrong, Father Pacioli just talked to him about it - he didn't ask leading questions like this, and certainly not in a room of strangers.
"I don't - I honestly don't know."
The man's smile thinned and he nodded his head once.
"Mm. I see. Well, do you recall what you wrote on your assessments, Mikael?"
Panic was beginning to make his skin feel tight - had he written something wrong? Something offensive? Had someone copied him and now they thought he was to blame? Mikael tried to think over the essays - they had been short, he had answered the questions, he had been open and truthful - what was this about?
From the corner of his eye, Mikael noticed that one of the men not speaking was writing notes down on a notepad, and this seemed to raise the stakes of his answer. He swallowed.
"Um, sort of. I don't really - I just answered the essays."
The man in the lab coat stared evenly at him.
"You just answered the essays." he repeated, his tone making it sound like a silly answer. Mikael nodded frantically.
"I didn't - did I do something wrong?"
The man leaned back in his chair and sighed deeply, then looked to the left at the man who had first brought Mikael in.

"Well, Mikael," the man who had been writing notes chimed in, "Let's just...review some of your answers, shall we?"
Mikael, certain that he didn't have a choice, nodded. The man smiled.
"Very good. Let's see. For essay #1, the question was 'What do you believe the role of carrier should be in society?'" he looked up at Mikael for confirmation and received a tentative nod, then continued. "And you started off, 'I believe that the role of a carrier in society should be as an equal contributor to the spiritual, economic, intellectual and cultural realms. Although naturally, a disparity exists today in terms of access to many aspects of societal-institutional structures, and many avenues of societal contribution remain limited for carriers, I believe that great strides will be made in the future to improve carrier equality.'"
Mikael listened intently, waiting for the other shoe to drop - for the words he heard back to be unfamiliar, not his own, wrong somehow. Nothing came. A thick, menacing silence was heavy in the room. Mikael fidgeted.
"Oh..OK."
The man who had read from the paper stared at Mikael, then set the page down and smoothed it on his notepad.
"Mikael," he asked, in a venomously innocent voice, "Was that supposed to be a threat?"
Bewilderment and fear blanketed every other thought in Mikael's mind.
"No! No, absolutely not! I wasn't - I wasn't trying to threaten anyone." he replied frantically, only now understanding the severity of the situation he was in. "I wasn't trying to - I was just saying."
"You were just saying what, Mikael?" the old man in the lab coat demanded.

Mikael glanced around for a friendly face, but everyone was staring at him with equal parts unemotion and hostility.
"I was just...I wasn't saying anything. I just - I don't know why - I just wrote what I thought, I thought we were supposed to just be honest, Blake said I had to just be honest, I didn't know that I was - I wasn't trying to threaten anyone!"he realized he was sounding guiltier by the minute, but he couldn't just say nothing, could he? He couldn't just take the blame and let them punish him for something he hadn't done! It wouldn't be right, and if there was one thing Mikael knew, it was that you had to do what was right - even if there were terrible consequences. God would open their hearts if Mikael spoke the truth, and they would understand.
There was another silence in the room, and then the man who had first brought Mikael in smiled a little and broke it.
"Well, we appreciate that at least, Mikael. Your honesty. We do always want our carriers to be honest." he shook a jovial finger at Mikael. "Don't lie to us!" he grinned. "Because we will always find out."
Mikael paused. Was that supposed to be a threat?
The man continued.
"But there can be such a thing, Mikael, as a little bit too much honesty." he flicked his eyes down over a chart in his lap - Mikael's chart, he realized. "So I see that you're rather well-educated, Mikael? By...the Good Brothers of St. Xavier?"
Mikael swallowed and nodded - the oppressive feeling had lifted in the room, just slightly, just enough for him to feel able to breathe again.
"Yes. I grew up there."
The man nodded.
"Mmm. Yes, I see. And...what kind of books did you read while you were there, Mikael?"
he asked the question so innocuously that Mikael sensed a trap, but wasn't sure how to escape it.
"Um. Religious books, mostly." he tried for a jokey smile but missed, "The Bible. The Qu'ran. The Apocryphal texts. Some political books, too - on government and history. Um, that's mostly it."
"Really." the man who had the notepad interrupted. "That's it?"
Mikael glanced back over at the first man. Don't lie to us. echoed in his head. We will always find out. He swallowed. It was a sin to lie.
"Some other stuff, too." he mumbled. "Science stuff. Math."
The man from the beginning spoke again, only this time his voice had a new tone to it - a leading one, as if he were trying to lure Mikael gently along on a string.
"Well, I bet just those subjects kept you busy, didn't they?" he smiled. "So busy I don't think you ever had time to read anything else, did you?"
Mikael felt so confused that he just shrugged.
"I guess...not?"
"No societal studies?" an anonymous voice asked.
The man from the beginning laughed.
"I am certain," he said, looking directly at Mikael, "That he hardly ever had time to read societal studies."
"I presume he's never read any of that antiquated gender literature either," the old man interjected, slowly turning a pen in his hand. "Nothing from, say, the latter parts of the 19th century? Or the 20th, even? Nothing, I'm sure, from that...era." by the way he said the last word, it was clear what he thought of it.
Mikael looked from face to face, understanding but not understanding, feeling like a little animal being lured in from the sanctuary of outside to the mouth of the cage...but where to go? Where else to turn? They were all around him...Mikael shook his head.
"No." he said, quietly, "Not that I can recall."
The man from the beginning smiled broadly.
"Good." he said, then, indulgently, "Father Pacioli told us you were a bright one."
The old man in the lab coat nodded approvingly.
"Very clever little thing."
"Absolute darling."
"Wonderfully pretty, at least."
Mikael slowly started to get the feeling they were mocking him. His cheeks colored.
"Am I - am I free to go now?" he asked, afraid to challenge them but wanting so badly to be alone.
The man in the blue shirt smiled.
"Of course. Send our apologies to Blake for keeping you so long." he scribbled something on a sheet of paper, then ripped it off and handed it to Mikael. Mikael hesitated to take it, and the man raised an eyebrow.
"Your makeup exam date." he smiled, predatorily, "I'll see you there."

~:~