Sacrifice Helle Season Two

Distant memories of a long forgotten world is brought back to life, clearing the sky like the rising sun, your open eyes remind me of all I used to know, whispered words in darkness, secrets revealed that changed us both forever, and for eternity we carried them with us. Me for darkness and you for good, for what you did was out of love, what I did was out of hatred.

-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-

I lied in bed, not able to sleep. I had started to dream again. As a vampire I had never dreamt a single dream, but been in a slumber of darkness, if I slept at all. Usually I had just done it to pass time when I was bored, or wait for the sun to set. Dreams of the past had come to me, as if reminding me of my human life now that I had become one again. It created sadness in me.

To be able to feel the sun on my face again, eat food, get hurt, be alive, dream, remembering things worth living for. To have all these things back again for just these hours of my existence. I sighed and tried to sleep. Helle’s faith was out of my hands now; whatever concerned her no longer concerned me.

“They do concern you”, I heard and shot my eyes open. The room was empty, but the window was open and the curtains moved from a mild breeze. Then little sparks of light appeared, clustering together at the end of my bed. I pulled my legs up, pressing my body up against the wall. Slowly a figure formed in front of me, and I stopped breathing. He was more beautiful than I could remember.

“Vaan.”, he whispered. “Raphael.”, I said back and lowered my shoulders. The angels bright appearance contrasted the dark skies from outside the open window, his skin full of life and yet so unearthly. “You look so different from before”, I said with a voice so weak and humble it could almost not be heard. His head was a bit bent down; his eyes moved up and stared directly into mine. They had always been cold when staring at me before; cold because I was a vampire who killed, and of course he rejected that.

He still had that look, cold and not caring. I was something dead to him. “You look at me with different eyes”, he said with a faint curiosity. I watched his lips as they moved, thin light red lines.

He looked just the same as before he became an angel, unlike vampires who change into perfect creatures. But there was a light in him, casting a glow over him that brought out the best of him; like a smile that can make even the grey mice of the world beautiful.

He sat perfectly still, studying my face. I hardly dared to breathe. His eyes wandered from mine, to my cheeks, lips, chin, my skin, my chest. “You look different too”, he stated, and then slowly he reached out his hand towards me, placing it gently on my chest. I gasped from the touch. I couldn’t bear to keep my eyes open; they closed by themselves, focusing my mind on the feeling of his warm hand on my body. My breath got heavier. It had been centuries and centuries since last time I had felt his touch.

“You have a heartbeat.”, he stated.

My body jumped with surprise when I felt his hand move from my chest and to my cheek, from there his fingers moved to my hair and he played with it between his fingers. When I opened my eyes again Raphael was sitting closer to me, staring into my eyes. And his look on me changed, from the cold and closed up to a warmer look, multiple colors appeared in them, and then without a warning he pulled me close and into a hug.

My hands were shaking as I placed them on his back. “You are human again, Vico.”, he whispered in my ear. I pressed my eyes together hearing that name again. Calisto. He pulled back and stared at me in surprise. “You remember?” “I can no longer call you by that name, but I remember.”

Becoming a human made me slowly forget things I used to know as a vampire, but my former human life however seemed clearer to me than ever. “Your name was Calisto. Vaan killed Vico, and for that you hated me.” I quickly drew my breath, “I have told you this before, and it seemed you thought I was lying. You know why I became a vampire..” “You should have never..”, Raphael interrupted me, but I cut him off, “I never lied to you, Raphael, for all those years, decades and centuries, I carried on, because then I had the chance to see you. If I died.. I’d loose you all over again.”

He drew his fingers along my skin, from my cheek to my lips, tracing their lines. For a minute his fingers lingered at my nose, spreading warmth to it, and the stinging that was left from Helle’s punch disappeared. “You speak the truth”, he then said. “You don’t know how hard it was to see you loose your soul, Vico. And not be able to talk to you. Had you been human, it would have all been so different.” “I didn’t know then… That you would, that it was possible.. I didn’t know angels existed.” “I know”, he answered.

We sat in silence for a while, he stared down at the wall on the other side of the room, I stared at him. He had pulled his hand back, resting it in his lap. The night was chilly; the breeze from the window caused a shiver along my bare skin. Raphael raised his gaze, his eyes half closed “I am glad, that you are human again.”, his mysterious eyes locked themselves with mine, “Although you will never again be Vico, no more than I can be Calisto. It is still good. Because now I can touch you again, and see the life in you, and allow you to see me, and touch me, and not keep it a secret.”

My heart razed. He allows me to touch him. “Don’t you hate me? Don’t you hate what I did? Don’t you wish I never had, so that you could have lived?” He shook his head, his curls moving about softly. “What you did to me was not wrong. Love is never wrong.” I stared at his hand laying on my bed, so close to mine. I hesitated, but swallowed my fear and entangled my fingers with his.

He didn’t pull back.

Our eyes met, the beautiful angel staring right back at me.

My body moved forwards, my face an inch away from his, hesitating. He smiled a little, moving closer and meeting my lips in a soft kiss, testing it, tasting each other. It was like time froze, and we were back, back to when I had first kissed him as a young ignorant boy, sealing both our fates.

“I love you, no matter what or who you are”