August

February 14

Phidias rolled over in bed and blinked his eyes. His clock was beeping. He reached for it and waited until he could focus enough to see the time. Seven forty-one. He pressed a button for the date. February 14. Of course. Emily's day. Phidias let go of the clock and fell back onto the bed, wishing he could go back to sleep, back to her. Without fail, Emily had visited him in his dreams on this day, Valentine's Day, every year. It had been her favorite day.

Last night, they had been walking - she'd asked about Cadmus and the mural in his room and when he would be able to come home next. Phidias asked about her; he always did. She never answered these questions - just laughed in that light, merry way that Emily had, tossed her black curls over her shoulder and squeezed his hand. In the dreams, he loved to look at those curls. She had given them to Caddy; given him those, and her soulful brown eyes and half of the shading of her skin. She had made a monument to herself in their son. 'So that you'll never lose me.' she'd told him. Phidias ached to think about it.

In the dreams, Emily always knew when morning was coming. This time, though, her goodbye was different. She took Phidias' face in her hands, held it close to her own.
"It's time to wake up now, Phidias." she'd said, searching his eyes. "You have to wake up."
Then the strange moment was over and her face was back to its usual, happy glow.
"I love you." she said.
And then she was gone.

Phidias groaned and rolled over to put his face back in the pillow.
His shorts stuck to him and he felt like he'd been sweating, even through the cool air of the drafty room. He flipped the sheets back to get out of bed. Everything between them was bloody.

His first reaction was to swear, then leap out of bed, then just take off, out of the house, and run away from it all. At least, with feet on the floor, he felt a little better - a little more stable, more grounded. He couldn't look at the bed. He wanted to vomit. This couldn't be happening; it simply couldn't be. He grasped himself through his shorts, checked for his cock and two testicles. This couldn't be happening. They felt tight, small, aching like they had since Joe had kicked them, but they were there. He felt a flash of relief. At least that wasn't happening. Not two in one family. But the blood...so much blood. He kicked down his shorts; the blood was coming from his left testicle.

Phidias felt woozy...panicked, cornered. What was wrong with him? What if he was wrong - what if it was That, the Great Thing they all feared and loved and hated? They were going to know. Everyone was going to know, and they would devour him. Irrationally, he wondered how he was ever going to get to work in the morning, not with all the blood at his groin. They would track him by the blood, he thought suddenly. Sharks can always smell blood in the water... His heart was pounding; he tried to think calm thoughts, rational things - where to go and what to do next. He stared at the sheets. Such a beautiful red.

~:~

Later, he figured it must have been the shock of the moment that kept him from feeling the pain immediately. When the shock wore off and the reality set in, the agony hit him like a brick, and then he was down, writhing on the floor, begging for someone to make it stop and then all the world went gray.

~:~

He woke up some time later in a bed that was not his own. A hand waved in front of his eyes, then rested in his hair. He moaned; the pain was dulled. Over time, he came to recognize the hand as belonging to Dr. Long. The bed was Caddy's. Dr. Long stood over him with an unreadable expression.
"You didn't come in this morning. I worried; had to come check for you."
Phidias felt too light-headed to answer. Dr. Long noticed this, looked gravely at him.
"If there was something more I could do myself, I would have kept you here, Phidias." he said quietly. Phidias' fear came to him - there was something in Alan's voice, something sad and frightening. "But you've lost too much blood as it is. Something's wrong; there's some complication. I can't help you with that. If you stayed, I don't think you would make it through the remainder of your Change."
Phidias made a strangled sound, a moan in the back of his throat. Not like this. Please, not like this. Not two in one family.
"I've already called the ambulance. The CEC will be here shortly."
Alan hung his head.
"I'm sorry, Phidias. I'm so, so sorry." he looked away. "I wanted to do more for you. So much more."

~:~