Until Tomorrow

Until Tomorrow

Warnings: angst and hints of slash (malexmale pairings).

Chapter 3

Nick took a deep breath. “Do you want me to speak English or Russian?”

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever one you feel more comfortable speaking,” Danya shrugged.

“I think I’ll speak Russian. It’ll be easier for you to understand me.”
“Okay.”
“You heard from Dr. Anderson that this is a very risky surgery and there’s a possibility that I might die,” Nick began. Danya silently nodded. “I want to tell someone…about this secret that I have in case I do die. But if I tell you, will you promise to never tell anyone about it?”
“Yes.”
“No matter what happens?”
“No matter what happens, I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Kai…or Bryan.”

“Before I tell you my secret, I think you should know a little bit about me. I was born in Belgrade, Serbia in December 1991. The Soviet Union was breaking up and there was chaos in the Balkan states. In Serbia, there was so much chaos. There was a dictatorship and people were being round up and shot, being blamed for treason. The claims were rarely true. My family…” Nick swallowed hard. “I lived with my mother and my four sisters. I cannot recall their names, save for one. Anya was eight and I was four in the year the soldiers came to our house and shot and killed my family.” Danya stared at him. “I was the only one who wasn’t shot. Anya…she managed to get away from the soldiers with me in her arms and she took me to this church where I would be safe. I remember hearing gunshots and screams and Anya telling me that it was all right. I can remember her singing me to sleep and putting a cross in my hand, the one she had always worn. I didn’t learn until later that she was caught by the soldiers and executed.” Nick took several deep breaths.

“I don’t really remember living at the church in Belgrade. I only lived there for a couple months before we had to leave. I lived with five priests in Hungary for about six months, then in Prague for six more months, and then in Kiev for a year. Then, when I was six, I went to an orphanage in Moscow. It was a poor orphanage and they weren’t exactly nice there. I lived in that hellhole until I was adopted by Kalil and Jake when I was twelve. They took me to live in Saudi Arabia with them for a year before bringing me to America. You see, Kalil is a diplomat for the Arabic speaking nations in the Middle East. He’s desperately trying to keep the peace and often has to work late. He’s relatively well-known, but he tries to keep low profile here in America. He’s also the member of a wealthy Arabic family who does dealings with oil. He’s got a bunch of sisters, but Arabic tradition says that only a male can inherit the money, so it’s him. He should have married and had a male heir, like he was supposed to, but he fell in love with Jake instead. Since they couldn’t have children, they adopted. I was the first and destined to become the heir but they adopted several other children as well. If I don’t make it, Blake will inherit the family name one day.”
“So that’s why you have servants and all that money?” Danya asked.

“Yes. And now, I need to tell you my secret. It’s something that only I know. I’ve never…told anyone.”
“And why are you telling me?”
“Because you are the one who deserves to hear the truth.”
“What are you talking about?”

“I love you Danya. I love you more than anything else in the world. I know, you have a boyfriend, and I actually have a girlfriend, but there’s this hole in my heart and I know that it’s because of you. It’s because I love you and I can’t have you. I think you need to know what I’m hiding.”

“What are you hiding?” Nick sat up and grabbed Danya’s wrist and pulled him down so that they were only inches away from each other. Nick whispered something in his ear. Upon hearing it, Danya’s eyes widened. He pulled away, staring at Nick wordlessly. There was a knock on the door.

“Nick, I’m afraid we have to take you into surgery now,” Dr. Anderson said, coming into the room.

“Okay,” Nick nodded. He turned to Danya. “Will you stay with me?”

“Yeah.” Danya followed them down the hallways until they came to a small room. There were a dozen or so cubicles. Some of them had curtains drawn around them for privacy and others were open. Nick was wheeled over to one of the open cubicles and Dr. Werner checked his IV bag once before he and Dr. Anderson left for a while. Ivy came in and ran some checks.

“We’re going to administer the sedative now,” she announced cheerfully.
“What did Dr. Werner give me earlier then?” Nick asked.

“It was a type of pain killer to help your body relax before the surgery.”
“Do my parents know that you did that?”

“Yes, I believe Dr. Anderson told them. Dr. Werner should be in shortly to see you before the surgery.”
“Where are my parents?”
“They’re in the Waiting Room. Is that all right?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t you want to at least say goodbye to them before the surgery?” Danya asked, surprised.
“I said goodbye to them earlier. I already sort of knew that the surgery was going to take place. Call it a sixth sense,” Nick answered. Smiling, Ivy left. She pulled the curtains around the cubicle. A while later, Dr. Werner came in and administered the anesthetic and left without saying much.

“Danya, I know it’s silly, but can you hold my hand?” Nick asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

“Okay,” Danya nodded. He took Nick’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Are you afraid? Is that why you want me here?”

“Yes. I’m so scared. I don’t know why, but it comforts me to have you here.”

“I don’t know why that is either.”
“You must think I’m a coward for this, huh?”
“No, not at all,” Danya replied honestly. “Actually, I think…” he blushed. “I think you’re very brave for admitting that you’re afraid. You’re a lot stronger than I’ll ever be. I don’t know how you’ve been able to be so calm about this whole ordeal. I know that I would have broken a long time ago and given into the pain.”
“You’re wrong,” Nick murmured with difficulty; he was beginning to succumb to the anesthetic. “I’m not as strong as you think. There have been…times where I have come close to giving in and wishing that I was dead so that I wouldn’t have to be in pain anymore. I have considered suicide more than once to ease my pain and suffering.”

Danya was surprised. “What stopped you?”

“You.” Then, he closed his eyes and was asleep.

Danya was escorted to the Waiting Room by Ivy. The last thing that Nick had said to him still ran through his head. There were other things that Nick had told him that ran through his head, but not as deeply as his last words.

I stopped him from suicide? But why? He thought. He buried himself in his thoughts for the entire wait, not even acknowledging the others in the room besides him. They were joined after a while by Nick’s personal bodyguard, Axel, a man who turned out to be Kalil’s personal bodyguard and the head honcho of all the guard and servants, Abdul, an assortment of other various guard members, and Nick’s foster siblings, whom Danya had met the previous summer. Kivan was also there and Danya staring at him more often than not. He couldn’t help it; his face reflected Nick’s so much that it was hard for him to look anywhere else. The day dragged on. No one moved or said a word even. They just waited. Danya hated waiting. He wished that he could know the outcome of Nick’s surgery so it would be over with and he could move on. There was a nagging thought at the back of his mind. He did everything he could to keep it there. He knew that he had to keep the feeling buried because it would devastate his relationship with Bryan. Somewhere, in the deep recesses of his mind, he knew that he was still in love with Nick and was falling for him all over again.

No, dammit! I won’t go down that path. I am not going to fall in love with Nick. He thought. The wait continued. Finally, Dr. Anderson came in dressed in scrubs. She lowered her surgical mask before talking.
“Nick is okay. The surgery was successful and we managed to get the tumor out. However, it doesn’t mean that he’s out of the woods quite yet. Ivy is getting him settled in the Intensive Care Unit. He’s on a ventilator, which is a machine that breathes for him. His lungs need time to heal after the surgery so that the sutures don’t pull. If they do, he’ll start bleeding and literally drown in his own blood,” she said. Kalil gave a soft cry. “Don’t worry. We’re going to be monitoring him carefully until he’s ready to breathe on his own.”
“How long will it be until he can be taken off the ventilator?” Jake asked.

“It’ll be a couple of weeks, at least, but he’ll be awake in a couple hours. The anesthetic is already starting to wear off and I think by the time he’s settled in, he’ll be awake.”

“Okay.”

“I want to let you know about the rules of the ICU. You’ll have to wash your hands and wear protective coverings, but I won’t make you get out at a certain time, like I’m supposed to. I think that you have a right to be with your son or friend.”

“Thank you,” Kalil murmured.

“I do ask that you only go in two or three at a time so that the room doesn’t get crowded. It’s an awfully small room.”
“All right,” Jake nodded.

“Jake, why don’t you take Amee in first and then I’ll follow with Blake, and then Axel can take Ruth in. Then, Danya and Kivan can go in and then Kai and Bryan,” Kalil said. The others agreed and Jake and Amee went off. After about twenty minutes, they returned, and Kalil and Blake left. Danya waited patiently for his turn. He had no idea of why he was to go with Kivan. He suspected that Jake knew something about the secret that Danya now held, but he couldn’t be sure. Finally, he and Kivan were escorted to the Intensive Care Unit by Dr. Anderson and instructed to scrub their hands. Then, they were given protective clothes and masks like the one Dr. Anderson was wearing. Once they had gotten dressed, they went into the Intensive Care Unit and down the hallways until they came to a certain door. Dr. Anderson knocked softly before opening the door.

“Go ahead and go in,” she murmured to them. Danya slowly went forward and entered the room. He stood there, paralyzed with fear. Nick was lying unconscious in the bed. There were tubes running everywhere that made his body look so small. He was so pale and thin. Danya found himself blinking back tears. He could feel Kivan behind him, breathing heavily. Suddenly, Nick’s last words came back to him.

“I have considered suicide more than once to ease my pain and suffering.”
“What stopped you?”
“You.”

It was in that moment that Danya Kushenev had a revelation. He realized that he cared deeply for Nick and needed to be there for him through the rough times.

The job has fallen to me. He thought. Well, I will do that. He stared at Nick’s unconscious form on the bed. I promise that I won’t leave you. You need me and I need you. We’ll get through this together.

To be continued…