The Difference Between Dreams and Reality[CHPT 10]

A/N: Sorry this took longer than usual to get up. This is the very first chapter to be beta-fied, so that’s part of the reason it took as long as it did to get up. My beta reader is working on going back to all the past chapters as soon as she can, so please be patient with any of the past typos, mis-spellings and grammar issues.

Reviews are loved, as always.
&&
Please enjoy the first chapter that’s beta!

Chapter six: The party and a morning with Brian Fuller

My night with Toby was full of laugher and memories. We’d talk about the one time he stole gum from Mr. Brook’s market and had to return it, and we’d talk about the cookies his mother baked his father for Valentine’s Day every year. We talked all the way through the movie and didn’t pay any mind to it. Nostalgic feelings consumed me throughout the night and that just kept us chatting away even longer. Toby was such a great guy. I always thought that if I couldn’t depend on anyone else, I could depend on him.

He was the brother I wish I had.

The night ended when neither of us had enough energy left to form words and sentences, so we fell asleep next to each other on the living room floor in a world delicately built of pillows and blankets.

Another feeling of safe that reminded me of Nine kept me in a deep sleep once again.

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When I woke up, Toby was no where to be seen. I was in his house by myself, from what I could guess. He left me a note on the kitchen counter that read:

Melissa,
I’m sorry that I had to run out. I got a call early this morning from my father. My mother was rushed to the hospital this morning because she was contracting from the pregnancy. As you know, she’s a little over eight months along, so this was expected sooner or later, we just wished it would be later. He asked for me to come, so I did. Feel free to help yourself to any of the food we have around and to take a shower and clean yourself up a bit.

I’m sorry I couldn’t stay to see your crazy bed-head this morning,
Toby

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I was a bit worried about Toby’s mother, Mrs. Harris, but I decided I would try and be there for Toby more because of how much trouble they’d have with the new baby coming into their lives.

I didn’t eat from their house or take a shower. I loved Toby’s house, but nothing gives you quite the feeling your own home does, so I headed next door. To my surprise, Kenneth was home. I would have thought he’d have gone off with that girl from the night before, but he didn’t. He was laying on the couch, asleep.

The only time I ever thought Kenneth was cute was when his mouth was shut and he was asleep. He was so defenseless and mildly innocent-looking on the couch. I leaned over toward his face and placed my hand under his chin.

He fidgeted a bit, but stayed asleep as I traced my fingers around his face gently. I reached into my bag for a Sharpie and thought “don’t get mad, get even.” I loved my brother when he was asleep. However, I loved him more when he was falling victim to my revenge. It had been a long time since I truly got him back for everything he’d ever done to me, so I decided to start off small.

I bent over his face, my hair dangling around his head and I began to make a masterpiece. I wasn’t ever very good at art, so I guess that was a bit unfortunate for Kenneth who had become my new human palette. He didn’t move much under the black Sharpie; he was far from sober, as I had suspected.

After about five minutes of silent scribbles I pulled back and looked at my lovely drawing. I had drawn a beard and thick Harry Potter glasses on him. He looked like a complete moron. It was a perfect form of revenge.

I started to rise up, off the side of the couch when I felt him grab me from behind. He whispered something I couldn’t make out and I turned to slowly move his hands away from my waist. He wouldn’t budge.

“Come on, Kenneth. Let me go,” I begged. No movement. He had his hands around my stomach and I couldn’t pull them off. He wasn’t just on the basketball team for skill; he had power and strength, too. I always felt weak around him, and that just proved why.

I looked at his helpless face and giggled a little at the childish prank that covered his handsome features. Kenneth reminded me of what I had seen of my father in pictures. My father wasn’t around anymore because he had died when I was three years old. I acted like he was some drunk who just up and left us one day, but truly, he was dead. My mother didn’t speak of it often, but I later found that he died from a car accident on an icy high way. I suppose I act as if he is alive somewhere out there because that’s how my mother had always acted.

Kenneth remembered him, unlike me. I didn’t have any memories until I was about five. I’m not sure why. Like father, like son, I suppose. Their faces were so similar, it was a bit unnerving. Makes me wonder if my father was a womanizing man. I doubt that, though. Kenneth was just a player, or so he called himself. More like he was a bit egotistical, if anything.

When I finally got out of Kenneth’s deadly grasp I moved on toward the bathroom upstairs.

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My bathroom was the same as always but had the smell of a guy. I could always tell when Kenneth had touched my stuff. He put on so much of that Axe body spray, how couldn’t I know? I decided I’d take a really fast shower, toss on something decent and give Hannah a call. I figured she’d be with Zeal and I might as well get to know him a little better if he was clever enough to pass Darcy’s test.

When I was out of the shower and my hair was all fixed, I went to my closet. I was looking for my black laced bra when I realized something. That one night in the cereal isle, Nine never returned my bra after he took it off me! How couldn’t I have noticed? I felt like an idiot for not noticing something as obvious as that, but I also felt like maybe he just wanted to have something that was mine. Figures a guy would want a bra.

I chose a pair of tarnished and holey jeans and a short sleeved dark blue polo with a white undershirt to wear. It was Sunday, and Sunday being the day before Monday which meant “last day of laziness” for a week. I picked up the phone and dialed Hannah’s cell number.

“Hello?” asked Hannah on the other line.

“Hey, It’s Melissa,” I greeted.

“Oh hey! What’s up?” she greeted back.

“Nothing much, I was just wondering what 'we' were doing today,” I hinted with an emphasis on “we.”

“Haha, funny Melissa. I suppose 'we' could hang out at my house, or something,” came Hannah’s reply with the same emphasis on “we.”

'We' decided to hang out at her house and invite Darcy and Zeal, too. Zeal, of course, was already there. I could tell by the tone of her voice sounding a bit distracted during our telephone conversation. I was fine with it, though.

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Suddenly I heard a roar of anger downstairs so I rushed to see what was going on. There was Kenneth, and a mirror, and he looked pissed. I just about flew back upstairs to get away, but I could hardly move because I was laughing so hard. Kenneth had scrubbed his face all over and now his entire face was smudged with black!

“Take it easy,” I laughed. “It was just a joke.”

“Joke my ass, Melissa! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Kenneth cursed.

“Well, I’ve got to be somewhere right now. Try not to scrub too hard-- your pretty face might never have color again,” I spoke fearlessly. Kenneth wouldn’t touch me, so I could do what I wanted, I figured. He was softer than most people would expect. I knew all of his weaknesses, of course.

“Fuck you,” he spat angrily. I almost felt bad, but I figured he deserved it for ignoring me for so long when I first came to Jackson High School. “Served him right,” I thought to myself as I snatched my keys and ran out the door to my car.

I tried to start up my car, but failed. The piece of shit had been running so well for the past few days I almost forgot it was such a piece of shit. Of course it would die on me while Kenneth was coming outside to argue more. I didn’t feel up to getting in a fight with Kenneth while being helpless.

Foreseeing my future, I ran to Toby’s house and rang their doorbell. His father answered the door and I asked for Toby. Toby was in the kitchen and came up to me when he heard his name spoken.

“What’s going on?” asked Toby. “Is everything all right?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “I just need a ride.”

“Okay,” he agreed suspiciously.

I got into his car and he drove me to Hannah’s house past Kenneth’s deadly stare. I told him about drawing on Kenneth’s face as revenge, and we laughed about it. Toby informed me that his mother’s trip to the hospital was just a false alarm and apologized for any rude tone his father might have had when he opened the door. I said it was fine. Toby explained his father seemed to be really stressing out over the new baby. Apparently the doctors said that the baby might not come out 100% healthy. Toby seemed to be hiding his worry very well, though. When we reached Hannah’s house, she seemed really glad Toby had brought me.

“Toby, why don’t you stay? I have Zeal and Darcy brought some guy named Grant, why don’t you stay as well? It’d make everything a bit more even,” Hannah said with a tinge of “party” in her tone of voice.

Toby looked at me and I nodded. He decided to stay and phoned his dad to tell him he was going to be with me for a while. His dad was cool with it and we all headed back inside.

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I willed away all my worries about Kenneth, because I knew he’d get over it. He wasn’t really that mad, but I definitely wasn’t going to return home tonight, so I had no curfew. Thoughts like these always seemed to keep me calm.

Hannah’s house was pretty big. They had seven bedrooms (one computer room, four guest bedrooms, one for her and one for her parents). Most people wouldn’t have so many guest bedrooms, but in Hannah’s family, they had to. She constantly had relatives over, but they were mainly teenage cousins. This is because Hannah’s parents aren’t home very often and her cousins get fed up with their overly religious parents and come live there. The last one in and out was Frankie, who was there for about a year. He was thirteen at that time and even stayed there for his fourteenth birthday.

Hannah’s mom’s side of the family is super religious. I’m not sure what religion, but that’s where most of the people who stay there come from. She’s the only adult in her family that isn’t religious like that, married someone out of the religion, and gave birth to a non-religious daughter.

It’s crazy confusing and took me ages to understand. Hannah had to tell me over and over again and I still can’t remember what religion.

Today Hannah’s seventeen year old cousin, Hillary, was staying here for a few weeks. She came here with her boyfriend, Sam, because her religious parents wouldn’t support her dating a guy who thought he could make it big time with his band “Svuck Svever.” The whole band was coming down tonight and they were having a party. Figures that Hannah would want Toby here. He always stays sober, and they’d need a designated driver, I’m sure.

I had never heard “Svuck Svever” before, but I was definitely not looking forward to it. Sadly, I was already here and Hannah had already tricked me into staying for another one of her house parties.

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We walked over toward the parlor. Darcy was chatting lively with Hannah’s cousin Hillary. Sam was just walking in and he had drinks. It was enough for everyone, including Toby and I. Hannah had obviously told them we were coming before we had really agreed.

“Hey guys, Melissa and Toby are here!” Hannah announced. She seemed really cheerful that we had come in. I sat next to Toby on the one couch that was unoccupied. In Hannah’s parlor, there was no television. That was in their living room, which was even larger. Their parlor had three couches and one lounging chair. Two large couches faced each other, and one small one faced the chair making a square with a coffee table to bring it all together in the middle. It was a well-lit room with walls painted with earthy browns. I felt warm and safe here, but I also felt bad for what it’d look like after tonight.

“Nice to meet you,” Toby and I greeted Hillary and her boyfriend Sam in unison. We laughed about saying it at the same time, and then the conversation rolled to a start.

Sam was interesting. He wore checkered sneakers– which really caught my eye at first– and a black band T-shirt that had a band name scribbled across it that I couldn’t make out. His pants were long and baggy and trashed from what I could see. I could see his black and red skull boxers, despite the belt. Hillary sat next to him with her arm locked around his the entire time. They seemed to have a very healthy relationship.

Hillary wore a tight-fitted purple shirt with black lace sewn on all the ridges. Her mini skirt was ruffled and messy, but all very stylish. I could tell that she did the sewing herself, or at least I figured. Then again, style these days had people buying pants with pre-made holes in them, so why not badly sewn on stylish lace too? Her high-heeled shoes looked like killers. I would probably trip and die if I had worn them.

I felt under dressed. Everyone around me was so unique and... somehow beautiful. Zeal was a piece of art with his arm around Hannah. They looked like a couple that had been together for years. I was envious and a little jealous. I kept thinking about Nine. How was I supposed to picture us together without even seeing his face? How was I supposed to do anything at all with what I had?

I was just grateful he was there and was real. The part of me that I try not to show to anyone kept wishing I was with Nine and not Toby. I felt ashamed for this thought and looked down for a second.

The conversation carried on without me anyway.

“So tell us about your band a little, Sam,” Hannah asked with excitement. Hannah always had so much energy that I wondered if she should belong in my theater group with me sometimes. There was no way she could be excited and energetic about everything.

“Well,” Sam began with a bragging tone, “we’ve been together for about a year and a half now. I am the guitarist and my friend Jason, who should be here any moment, is the lead singer.”

Hillary had obviously heard about the band a million times before, but she kept her face interested and inviting with a sweet and supportive smile. I felt like saving her and changing the topic, but I think she might have truly enjoyed hearing him talk. Just his voice, and she was happy.

How could she be satisfied with so little? Then again, I was satisfied with just a voice, too. I couldn’t even see Nine yet. I had thought a billion times over about who he could be. I know that most sane people who would hear my story about Nine would either think I was crazy or think I was stupid and that he was a stalker. But Nine wasn’t anything but wonderful.

I once thought he could be Toby. Part of me even suspected it right then, but he was too...different. He didn’t have the same grace. He lacked the sweetness in his voice. However, I still kept him as a suspect.

The more I thought about who Nine could be, the more I hoped he would reveal himself to me. I didn’t want to “catch” him. I wanted him to trust me and to feel that he could just tell me. No, I wanted him to show me, not just tell me. I wanted to see his face and touch it with my hands in the light. Instead of outlining his smile, I wanted to see it.

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By the time Sam finished his life story of the band, night had come and the doorbell rang. Hannah jumped to answer the door and I heard the sound of heavy objects being moved. “It must be the band,” I thought.

And I was right.

From what I hadn’t tuned out with thoughts, Sam’s band consisted of these members: Sam himself, the guitarist, Jason, the lead singer, Brendon, the drummer and the keyboard guy named Daniel.

Knowing their names kept away the awkward silences, so I felt thankful toward my subconscious for picking up that, at least.

The night began slow. We moved the couches and the table into this giant storage room that was disguised to look like a normal closet. Hannah obviously had become accustomed as to what to do to have a good house party that involved the least damage. We packed away all the valuable and breakable items and put it all in the storage closet. We locked the closet when we were finished.

Next the band was to be set up. It looked difficult and I was glad us girls were all setting up snacks instead. Toby looked so handsome when he was sweating from lifting things and moving things until they were just right. He seemed to be getting along with the members of the band and Zeal quite well. Toby was such a people magnet.

When everything was set, people started showing up. I was introduced to several people I had never met and could not recognize. I could tell most of them weren’t from Jackson High, like Hannah, Zeal, Darcy, Toby and I were. Darcy’s guy for the night, Grant, was not a talker. I had almost forgotten he was there during the chattering from earlier, but I couldn’t help but notice him when he was with Darcy later on. They were such a sparkling couple, I hoped he was going to stay for a while longer than most of Darcy’s come-and-go boyfriends. He had long-ish, flipped out blonde hair. It was like a skater cut, but he wasn’t very skater-like in his actions(Though I can't say I'd know exactly what a stereotypical skater was supposed to act like). I knew, though, that he was a skater in reality. Darcy always went for the skaters.

I sat around the table where all the snacks were. I wasn’t a very party-comfortable person. I wasn’t anywhere near a turtle in a shell, hiding from social interaction, but I wasn’t into the party scene. No matter how many parties I went to with Hannah or Darcy, I always remained an, at-heart, party virgin.

Toby had floated over to a group with Zeal while Hannah bugged Hillary, who was watching Sam tune up his guitar. She was so in love, I had to look away to cover my face from turning green with envy.

“Hey,” a random, but familiar voice greeted me. I looked up. It was Brian. How could he always find his way to wherever I was?

“Hey Brian,” I said. I was defeated the moment I left the group and stood by myself.

He looked so cute tonight. He had a simple grey sweater on and loose jeans, but his good looks always shot through any attire. He grinned at me and looked down. His dark hair fell forward with it and I cringed with embarrassment. What was I thinking? How could I think Brian Fuller was cute?

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” I commented, trying to distract my gaze toward the band.

He casually handed me a cup of punch that I was sure to be spiked and I took it. “Fuck it,” I thought as I drank it slowly.

“I was in the area and decided to stop by. I had a feeling you’d be here and I’ve always known about your discomfort at parties,” he said smugly.

“That obvious?” I asked while my face flushed a light, rose color of red. He seemed comfortable enough around me and I was becoming quite comfortable around him, to be honest.

“You think?” came his self-satisfied reply, as always. We laughed. There wasn’t anything to laugh about, but we laughed.

I ended up hanging out with Brian for the rest of the night and Toby didn’t even come back to check up on me. I forgot about him, actually. Brian was such an easy conversationalist, and even though I hated his smug attitude a lot of the time, tonight I just felt secure.

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The light was bright. I couldn’t see, even when I thought my eyes were open. I shifted toward what I thought was my night stand, but fell from my bed.

“Good morning sleepy-head,” greeted someone. “It’s five AM.” I finally adjusted my eyes to the brightness of a room filled with lamps, and there was Brian. He was standing directly above me with a twisted and satisfied expression written all over his beautiful face. I was shocked.

“What the fuck?” I asked in such a low tone I thought he couldn’t pick up on it. Apparently he could hear me just fine and he replied, “I had a feeling you’d forget.”

Apparently there was something stronger than just normal alcohol in my punch last night, and Brian ended up taking me back to his place. He couldn’t find my key, and my house was locked and empty so he ended up taking me back to his place. Toby hadn’t even called my cell phone to see where I was. I secretly held a grudge against him for letting me leave drunk with Brian Fuller.

When he had informed me of the entire night, I rolled off the couch and was surprised to see I was in a big T-shirt, nothing else.

“Holy fuck!” I exclaimed.

“Calm down,” Brian began, noticing what I was talking about. “You’re the one who insisted on changing last night when you got here. You spilled the rest of the punch bowl all over yourself and was so wasted you could hardly get your arm through the arm hole. I washed your clothes. Don’t worry,” he informed me.

“Oh,” I said feeling a little guilty for almost jumping to conclusions.

“Yeah, well you’re lucky. My uncle–” He covered his mouth as soon as he said “uncle.” I connected the dots, despite my apparent hangover. He had said before that he lived with his father, not his uncle. I was a little confused and he read my mind easily.

“Okay,” he started. “I don’t live with my dad. I live with my uncle. He’s twenty-six, so when you eventually saw him you’d probably know he wasn’t my dad,” Brian confessed. I saw his eyes grow weary with nervousness, showing he was a little scared of my reply.

“And your weekends at your mom’s house?” I asked calmly.

“Actually, that’s half true. Only it’s the weekends with my mother and father who are still together. I just moved out to live with my uncle to escape my parents controlling issues,” he continued to confess.

When I didn’t speak he continued, “well, he’s not even my real uncle. My grandparents split up when my father was five and gramps re-married. The woman he re-married was named Sherry and she had a son named Adam. Well, he grew up as part of my father’s family, even though he was by far the youngest. Sherry was very young when she married my grandfather, so it was fitting.”

“Mmmhmm,” I commented. I was trying to take it all in at once. It was confusing, like Hannah’s family was. But somehow my hangover gave me that supersonic hearing and I couldn’t ignore any bit of the story. I just listened silently nodding here and there.

“So he’s my uncle through marriage, but we’ve always gotten along really well. He’s more like my older brother,” Brian mused. He seemed so cheerful when he spoke of this uncle of his. I tried to smile, but I could barely hold my head up and I laid back down on the couch. Brian hovered over me for a second to make sure I was okay. He handed me some pills and I took them without a second glance. I didn’t care what it was as long as it got rid of this headache.

Brian explained about how everyone thought and believed that his uncle was his father, except those who knew better. He didn’t want to tell me at first, he explained, because he thought I had a great family and didn’t want me to think weirdly of him. He was so far off, and I think he realized this now. I disagreed about my family being “great.” My mother was lost ever since the death of my father and my older brother was a complete asshole. Brian and I bonded in a way. Apparently it was a nice thing to get this off his chest. No one else but me knew about his complicated family matters.

I felt important knowing I had a secret of his. I wanted to return the special feeling, but I couldn’t tell him about Nine. I didn’t want to risk anything. I just smiled.

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Eventually I got up on my feet and threw on some pants. I ended up borrowing his shirt because he couldn’t find my shirt in the pile of clean laundry that had yet to be folded. I felt small in his large T-shirt but didn’t mind wearing it home. It was a short trip anyway.

After I said my goodbyes, I headed out the door and saw a nice black and grey jeep pull into the driveway. It had tinted windows, but I could only assume it was Brian’s uncle. I hopped in my tin can I call a car and drove off without a second look.

When I had driven home I ran upstairs to my questions journal. It had been too long since I last heard from Nine, or so it seemed, so I quickly jotted down another entry.

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Entry six:
Miss me yet?
Do you ever wonder if I’ve figured out who you are?
Have you thought about how easily I could have seen you by now?
When you see me next, can you promise me a kiss?

Do you speak another language besides English?

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I didn’t expect a reply yet so I got ready for another “exciting” day at school. I was lucky that Brian had woken me at five this morning and I had gotten home by six. How could it be this bright so early in the morning? It was odd, but it was nice. I had never had such an early sunrise in my life. It felt ironic in a way. I wondered if my mother and brother had even noticed my absence.

I decided to take a cold shower, just for a change. It felt refreshing as it fell in little specks on my back. Today had the same routine as any other Monday morning, but it had a stronger presence.

Maybe my hangover was still getting to me.

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A/N: Merry Belated Christmas! This one is posted as a New Years treat! I tried to make it a bit longer than the others, too. Sorry my updates haven’t been coming as fast as they were at the beginning. The holiday just kept me so busy! I'm hoping that as you guys are guessing Nine's identity you aren't losing interest. I want to reveal him soon, and I don't want to disappoint anybody because he might not be who you think. Then again, your guesses are getting more and more creative as they come.

I’m not planning on giving up on this story any time soon as long as I have plans for it, which I do. Writers block is still not too hard on me, I feel lucky!

Feel free to drop me review so that I know you haven’t given up on me either!

- Jenna