Passing

Promises

I awoke from the nightmare in start, the scream in my throat cut short. I was lying in Kit’s bed alone. From the other room I heard the sound of a tea kettle whistling loudly for a few moments and then it stopped. I was somewhat glad; the kettle must have covered the sound of my scream. I didn’t want to explain that nightmare to Kit. I got up and was about to get dressed when I heard voices in the next room. I moved quietly to listen through the closed door.

“So what if I do love her?” Kit’s voice said.
“You are from different worlds, it could never work out. You will only wind up both getting hurt.”
“We could make it work.”
“She is leaving in a couple of days. Between what you have done and Deana’s efforts, she is almost ready to return home.”
“So I’ll go with her.”
“Your skills are not yet honed enough to survive long in her world. You will meet prejudice and hatred like you have not encountered before. Worse, you could be exposed and they will kill you if that happens.”
“So she can stay here.”
“For how long? Eventually you will lose her; I would spare you that pain.”
“We could go to the other side.”
“And she will lose her family, friends and everyone else she loves. In time she will tire of life and hate you for it. If you don’t believe me ask the Lady, she has seen it all before.”

“I don’t care; I just want to be with her!”
“Kit, have I ever lied to you?”
“No, Wise Elder.” Kit answered dejectedly.
“Then trust me in this, you must let her go. You will both be happier for it in the long run. Come walk with me.”

I heard the door of the cabin open and close again. I sat on the bed and considered what I had heard. Kit loved me; he wanted to stay with me! The man must be the guardian that Deana had mentioned, Spirit Singer. It seemed unfair to tell Kit that he couldn’t stay with me but I understood. He was right about Kit in my world. My parents would never accept him. I didn’t understand the rest about my staying with Kit. I supposed he was right about never seeing my family again; they would surely disown me if I married an Indian boy and moved to Colorado.

The more I thought about it, the more Spirit Singer seemed to be right. As much as I loved Kit, it could never work out in the long run. The realization struck me and a tear rolled down my cheek. No, I couldn’t let him ruin his life for me. When the time came I would go home, alone. Until then, I still had two days with him.

~~~

The day turned out bright and sunny, a distinct contrast to my thoughts. Kit took me hiking on the mountain trails. He eventually led me off on an almost hidden side trail that lead to beautiful pond overlooked by a rock outcropping.
“This is my special place,” Kit said.
“It’s beautiful,” I said looking down at the crystal clear water.
I looked up to see Kit removing his shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“Going swimming,” he said matter of factly. “Coming?”
“I don’t have a suit.”
“Neither do I,” he said as he dropped his pants.
(Author’s note: Yea I know its cliché but it’s SO Kit.)
I giggled and looked around guiltily.
“Nothing to worry about,” Kit said. “This land belongs to the Resort, very few people know this place exists and I’ll hear them long before they see us.”
Completely nude, he stood up on the rock and dove into the pond. He surfaced and treaded water.
“Come on!” He said.
“No.”
“Coward.”
“Yes.”

He laughed and waded out of the pond. Going over to the pack he brought along he pulled out a towel and started drying off. Pulling his jeans back on he sat down next to me and we broke out the sandwiches we had packed for lunch. I looked up at Pikes Peak in the distance, the forest and other mountains around it.
“It is so beautiful here; I wish I could stay here forever.” I said wistfully.
“You could,” Kit said in a soft voice. A hopeful question hidden in the tone.
“I would like to Kit, but I couldn’t. At least not right away. Grandma depends on me; Mom and Dad would never understand.”

“Then, I can come with you,” Kit said.
“Oh, Mom and Dad would freak.”
“So? Who cares what they think?”
I turned to look into his eyes and rested one hand on his bare warm chest.
“Kit, you have to understand. I have to go home. My family is very important to me.”

“But I don’t want you to go. I…” He hesitated and looked up at the mountain. “I love you.”
“And I love you too but everything that’s happened, between us, its all been so fast. I need time to help them understand. Hell, I need time to understand it all myself. Please.”
“I’m just afraid…afraid you will leave and I’ll never hear from you again.”
I remembered Deana telling me how Kit was an orphan. He must really fear being left.
“I will come back, Kit. And until then, I’ll give you my address and we can write to each other every day. Once I have a job I’ll save up so I can call you sometimes too.”
He nodded, “Ok.”
“I’m glad you understand,” I said resting my head against his chest, “I promise, I will come back.”

~~~

We once again ended the evening in Kit’s cabin, we had just entered the door and Kit had me in his embrace when suddenly he stopped.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“We can’t,” he said. “I don’t have a rubber.”
“That didn’t stop you before.”
“We didn’t need it before.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m leaving.”
“Of course not, I told you I would know if we needed protection. Trust me. We have one more night. I will get some tomorrow. Until then, you had best sleep in your room tonight.”

He kissed me good night and I left but I couldn’t help but feel that he was already starting to separate himself from me.