Two-Way Monologues

“Are we going to talk about this or are we going to just keep making idle conversation?” Kendra asked the next day when she and Adrian were working at the diner. Things were painfully slow at the moment and they were both sitting at the counter starring off into space.

“What’s there to talk about?” Adrian asked offhandedly.

“Okay, so you’re going to be difficult.” Kendra rolled her eyes. “So, how do you feel about Anya?”

“She’s my best friend.” Adrian responded dully. His eyes were focused in on his white Converse sneakers, the ones he always let Anya draw on when they were watching TV or on a long subway ride. She was always quite good at creating intricate patterns on them- things that would have confused him if he had attempted it.

“So that kiss didn’t mean anything to you?” Kendra looked at him out of the corner of her eye but his face wasn’t giving away any clues.

“I’m sorry if Anya’s mad about it.” Adrian said sincerely.

“Come on Dre, talk to me here. I promise I won’t tell Anya.” Kendra turned towards him. “I’m good to my word.”

“I know you are.” Adrian gave her a small smile.

“Then talk to me.” Kendra pleaded. “If it makes you feel any better Anya was up all night thinking about what happened.”

“Is she mad at me?” Adrian asked. He suddenly wondered if Anya would bail out on coming to his show tomorrow.

“Not really, she’s trying to be though. I think she’s just confused.” Kendra told him. “You know how she gets, she has to think everything over until nothing makes sense anymore.”

“Yeah.” Adrian nodded his head wondering what exactly those thoughts were. “I shouldn’t have done it. She’s been so tense lately; you know since she saw Bryan.”

Kendra thought about that for a moment. “I’ve known Anya a long time. We always say since sixth grade but it was really fifth except we hated each other that year.”

Adrian laughed. “You have that effect on people..”

Kendra hit him. “Anyway, as long as I’ve known Anya she’s been terrible with guys. Relationships have always scared the shit out of her. I think it’s mostly because she doesn’t think she’s worth someone’s love. I know that sounds so serious and bad and terrible and not at all something you want to be true about your friend, but it is. She’s got low self-esteem when you think about it. Bryan only made things worse. She finally gave her heart away and he broke it.” Kendra said angrily. “I wanted to kill the piece of shit.”

“Join the club.”

“Anyway, my point is, it’s not just about Bryan. She’s over Bryan, she’s just not over what happened, you know? The idea that the same thing could happen with you, now that’s scary. Anya and I are best friends, you guys are like above that.” Adrian looked at Kendra skeptically. “I’m serious. I used to be so jealous of you, because I’d had her all to myself for so long and then you came along and things changed.”

“Kendra it’s not like that.” Adrian interrupted, not sure how to respond.

“Yes it is. It’s okay though, because I realized that you guys are like soul mates. Maybe you guys will never date or whatever but your friendship is deep, on another level or something. She doesn’t want to mess that up.”

“I don’t want to either.” Adrian said seriously. “I couldn’t live with that.”

Kendra nodded. “But then again, maybe not trying for more would mess it up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe if you’re both thinking about what could be then you’re going to be unhappy. I don’t know. I’m going to have a smoke, cover for me?” Kendra hopped off of her stool.

“Sure.” Adrian said, still thinking about what she’d just said.

*
Anya tapped her fingers on the copy machine, waiting for it to finish. It wasn’t even lunchtime and she was exhausted. She hardly got any sleep the night before. She’d been tossing and turning for a while when she finally decided that the apartment could use a good cleaning. Kendra stumbled out of her bedroom sometime near dawn telling Anya to “Go the fuck to sleep”. Anya smirked, thinking about her friend. Kendra usually had endless patience for Anya’s neurotic behavior but not when it interfered with her sleep. Anya stopped tapping her fingers as the machine grumbled to a stop. That’s when she noticed that she was still wearing Adrian’s ring on her thumb. She ran her fingers over the smooth band. Adrian always had his ring on; it was a gift from his grandfather in Italy. She wondered if he missed it…

“Anya!” No response. “Anya!”

“Wha-“ Anya jumped, blushing, Ginny had startled her.

“Are you alright girl? You were somewhere else completely.” Ginny asked with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Anya shook her head to clear it of thoughts of Adrian. “Here are those copies you needed.” She handed Ginny the stack of papers.

“Thanks.” Ginny started to turn towards the door of the copy room but hesitated. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I will be.” Anya gave her friend a reassuring smile. “Just got distracted by something silly.”

*
Adrian entered his apartment just as Carter was getting ready to leave. The other man was zipping up his jacket.

“Where are you off to?” He asked. “Hot date?”

“Close. Anya borrowed her brother’s car and we’re going on a booze run for the party tomorrow night.” Carter stopped for a moment. “Oh, was that like inappropriate or something? What’s the deal, I can still like say her name and stuff, right? You’re not gonna burst into uncontrollable tears or something? I’m not good at consoling crying dudes.”

“You’re so dramatic.” Adrian rolled his eyes. He took off his coat and scarf, tossing them carelessly onto the back of the couch.

“Yeah, whatever.” Carter pulled on the last of his cold weather attire, his bright pink wool hat.

“You look like an idiot.” Adrian laughed at him.

“Hey, I may look like an idiot, but I’m an idiot who is going out with your woman.” Carter smirked and dodged the shoe that Adrian threw at him. “Don’t hate.”

“Good-bye Carter. I suggest you leave now before I kick your ass. And don’t forget we’re practicing tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be sure to tell your fiancé that you send your love.” Carter ran out the door before the other shoe could get near him. Well, at least he knew that Anya was still going to be coming to their show…