Product of the Broken

Ch. 6

When you can no longer feel the earth beneath your feet, only taste dirt inside your mouth that's when you know your tasting the filth of your life's mistakes, and you begin to wonder why your still alive. That's when the realization that you aren't really alive anymore, not truly anyway hits you like a brick wall. Those thoughts start to consume you as the days crawl by and sink into the abyss of the night life. The worst part is you can't seem to bring yourself to just walk away, your to caught up with fear of making even more mistakes and hurting those you love even more by trying to protect them. That's exactly what Alice was thinking as he sat inside the lavishly decorated living room of his current and seemingly eternal employer Mitchell Slater. Company parties were always such a drag. Always the same thing, promote some equally large company and woe them with a promising future and seven figure bank accounts that'll hopefully lead them to early retirements but only if they sign on the idiotic dotted line. Course once that happens it's like signing your soul over to the devil. Once you sign on that dotted line you belong to Mitchell there isn't any other way around it, you become nothing more then a walking, breathing puppet that he controls to perform his every wish. Alice never could watch them sign the papers. It always reminded him of that one fatal mistake he made that caused him to have to lose the most important person in his life.
That person had just happened to be sitting twelve feet away from him totally unaware of his presence in the house. His heart had stopped and he'd felt like he'd swallowed his tongue when he caught sight of the slender young man sitting at the grand piano , his back held straight to facing the group of business sharks swarming the interior of the living room. His fingers flying across the keys as if willing the notes themselves to engulf him, wisps of black hair falling into his eye's like stray feathers on a tired ravens wing. Mitchell sitting in his arm chair swirling his glass of red merlot, looking like a cat with a bowl of cream as he caught Alice's line of vision to the young man at the piano. His grin widening as he seemed to pick up on Alice's quickened pulse and recognition to just whom that young man was. Alice used every ounce of will power he had to turn his eye's away from Nicolae and lock them with Mitchell's. Sending the silent plea he'd spoken wordlessly a thousand times before, "Leave me alone!" But he knew Mitchell wouldn't he'd do whatever he pleased to torment Alice until the end of his days just because he felt like it. Alice hadn't seen Nicolae since the night he'd sent him away, since the night he ripped up everything that was still precious to him. He'd shoved Nicolae away and into the ground, swore and spit at his feet. Verbally kicked him in like a dog only fit for the pound. He'd wanted him to go far, far away from him. The further the better , so that no one could ever hurt him because of his mistakes and failing flaws that landed him in the mess he was in. When you owe someone a rather large debt you tend to not indulge yourself in nice things. Nicolae had been more then nice. He'd been his prince this lovely jewel that had lit up his world when he'd thought the darkness would consume him. He'd thought he'd broken away from Mitchell years ago and when he'd started boxing again in the back streets of downtown, he'd assumed everything was alright again. Of course that was until he got a nasty visit from some of Mitchell's friends that happened to bust his door down. Everyone wondered why how Alice become the brawling legend of downtown, seemingly he never lost a fight when every other kid fighting for a days meal in the rings got every bone in his body busted, jaw wired shut. Every other fight was completely fixed, and the large sums of money floating around went to Mitchell. Alice remembered long ago when he'd fought in real boxing rings in front of huge crowds, the fights had been fair until fame became more important then his life. That's where the debt came in. When rising to the top you sometimes have to ask for that extra push up the ladder of success. Alice had asked the wrong person. He'd signed that dotted line. You can never truly beat someone like Mitchell because he relishes in the simple act of cutting people down for the sheer enjoyment of watching them fall apart. The only reason he'd gone back to Mitchell was to protect Nicolae, to keep him from destroying the beautiful boy he'd found.
Only now that beautiful boy wasn't the one he remembered he was slightly taller now, his hair longer and his body more toned. Eye's full of a searing fire that seemed unquenchable. They glittered with a dangerous quality that spoke of a misery long since left to eternally smolder in the young man. This wasn't the smiling laughing boy he'd sat with for hours at night and tickled until he screamed. The innocence he'd taken into his arms and tried to protect from the rest of world was now tarnished and maimed with the cruelty people of the world had to offer. Alice felt sick as he'd sat there trying to figure out just why Nicolae was even in this house to begin with he'd heard not a word of his name even spoken when he'd stopped in downtown from being over sea's. He'd learn soon after the parties end that Mitchell hadn't brought the boy there at all. Oh no he'd come there on account of Mitchell's wife. She'd hired Nicolae as an escort to take her and her daughter places around town and to parties. But the woman was no where to be found. It seemed upon finding who Nicolae was he'd felt it necessary to torture Alice by making him watch Nicolae perform in front of the rest of the sharks. Make Alice squirm and twist at the sight of something he loved so much be so surrounded by so many deadly creatures. So close to him and yet so far away. Alice wasn't even sure that he'd speak to him if he knew he was there. He had no right to even imagine Nicolae missed him or thought about him every single day he stayed alive. He'd cut him so badly he was scared the wound would never heal.
Not moving a muscle he'd watched one of the business sharks approach Nicolae at Mitchell's command. He had to smirk at how Nicolae aggravated the man sending him away with the wave of his hand and stinging sensation of his rejection harshly visible against the man's cheeks. Fingers never faltering on the piano keys Nicolae had continued on as if no one had ever spoken. It wasn't until Cambria walked up and rested her hands so closely against Nicolae's shoulders digging her nails into his skin through his expensive shirt did Alice feel his blood begin to boil with jealously. He'd forced himself to stare down at the floor as Nicolae brushed past him without even a crumb of a sign that he'd seen Alice sitting on the couch, Cambria close at his heels as they both disappeared into the hallway. The plot was thickening and Alice felt his skin burn with questioning need to know more about what was going on. And as he looked up towards Mitchell once more he noticed he wasn't the only one. Mitchell's grin had dripped right off his face like a melting crayon left out in the sun. He'd seen the way his wife had touched Nicolae. How their eye's had locked, how he allowed her to shove him into the hallway. There was something larger happening now something bigger then even Mitchell's ego. And for once Mitchell didn't have the upper hand, whatever was happening behind the scenes of his seemingly perfectly assembled household was happening without his knowledge.
At the parties end Alice had taken off his tie and thrown it in the back of his car which wasn't really his car, it was the company's car. Driving as fast as the speed limit would allow he made his way down the street towards the turn off that would lead him back to an all too familiar landscape of broken dreams and even more ruined pasts. How he knew where Nicolae was going he couldn't tell anyone, he just had this feeling rotting away in his gut. He was thankful no one had followed him he didn't want anyone to help make this reunion worse then it would already be. Already as he turned on the radio to try and calm his nerves his mind was flooded with memories he'd thought he'd locked away forever, but they pushed at the edges of his awareness until he couldn't hold them back any longer.

At first Nicolae wouldn't touch Alice under any circumstances unless he absolutely had to. Alice figured the boy was merely shy and would come around in time to understand that he meant no intentional harm towards him. SO he watched Nicolae closely to try and catch on to things he liked and disliked in order to keep embarrassing mistakes from happening and scaring him off.
He loved the way Nicolae laughed at the little things he had said or done the way the darkness clouding his eye's fell away into alluring hues of enjoyment. The way he laid on the floor, one arm thrown back casually over his head, hair tussled against his high cheekbones. Alice came to love the most however when the horrible flaring black and yellow bruises that scattered his body, finally faded away and left behind his own natural pale milk colored skin that had never been touched by the sun.
Alice had first discovered the bruises when he walked in the bathroom one evening to shave while Nicolae had been in the bathtub. The boy seemed to never want to leave the tub. Of course this had been the first time Alice had ever dared go inside at the same time. He'd wanted Nicolae to have as much privacy as he wanted mainly to be polite even thought Nicolae had claimed he didn't mind, that night however Alice had to go out so he need to look half way presentable. When he'd walked into the bathroom he'd tried not to stare at the younger boy sitting several feet away from him in steaming water that was turning his normally pale skin a light pink tint, despite the fact Nicolae had pulled the shower curtain half way across the tub he could still see Nicolae's head and shoulders that were hunched forward as well as his knee's that were drawn up to his chest. Standing in front of the mirror Alice pulled off his tank top throwing it near the hamper that was against the wall behind him. Soaping his face and looking for his razor he heard Nicolae ask him to hand him a towel since they were out of his reach from were he sat in the tub. Alice grabbed up a giant green towel and held it a few inches from the edge of the tub where Nicolae's long fingers reached out and grabbed it. Saying a soft "Thank you." The towel disappeared behind the shower curtain and he could hear Nicolae singing to himself softly. Leaned in close to the mirror Alice couldn't see him wrapping the towel around his waist stepping out carefully Nicolae was cautious not to drip water on the floor. Pulling back to rinse the razor under the running faucet Alice suddenly caught sight of Nicolae's upper body. The razor fell out of his hand and hit the edge of the sink and fell the rest of the way onto the floor. Nicolae completely froze catch the look in Alice's eye's, water dripping off his chin as Alice turned all the way around to face him.
His throat felt suddenly to dry to speak, but the words stuck behind his teeth forced there way out anyway, causing Nicolae to recoil. "Holy shit, who did that to you?"
Wrapping his arms around himself Nicolae stared down at the at his feet." Nobody did it Alice." He said almost to quietly for Alice to hear. "Bullshit someone had to make those bruises Nicolae you didn't do this to yourself did you?" Biting the side of his lower lip Nicolae shook his head Alice inquired a little more harshly then he intended to but the black and blue spots that seemed old to his eyes strangely angered him. Wiping his face on a hand towel hanging on the wall Alice walked up and made Nicolae look at him, before examining what he could see of his upper body assessing the damage. The burses that littered his body almost everywhere except his arms, neck, and face. Which would explain why he'd never seen them until now, his cloths had always hidden what he had never wanted him to see. Alice touched one of the bruises along Nicolae's side with his fingertips and watched him flinch away from his touch. Alice remained quiet as he now realized why he'd been keeping his distance. He hadn't wanted anyone to know. Most of the bruises were weeks old and they didn't appear to be any recent ones. "Nicky did your dad do this to you?" He thought he'd get another headshake, but this time Nicolae only bit his lip again mumbling past his clenched teeth something Alice couldn't make out. "What was that?" Turning his head to the side and leaning down just an inch to better hear his repeated reply to his question. "Yeah." Alice's eye's narrowed he hated people like that. If you had issues don't take it out on your kids. But people now days seemed to lack that respectful common sense that protected everyone around them.
He asked Nicolae "Have you ever told anyone?" trying in vain to make his tone as delicate as he possibly could. "I've told everyone I could, no one's ever believed me, and if they do they just treated me like radioactive waste or told me to suck it up and deal with it." Nicolae's voice was a little louder this time, fueled by something Alice could only describe as pain.
Digging his fingernails into his shoulders he attempted to push past Alice, but the older boy wouldn't move out of his way. "Jesus, Alice I'm fine!" He yelled. "My dad can't hurt me anymore. He freaking left me! Didn't love me at all, hated me from day one, do I have to spell it out for you Alice. He can't hurt my anymore he's gone!" Alice listened to Nicolae's voice that was faltering and he watched as his composer started to crumble apart. He wanted so dearly to tell Nicolae it seemed his father was hurting him every single day of his life whether he was there to physically do the act or not, but he kept that thought to himself. Alice hadn't meant to say anything to distress him to this level of frustration but Nicolae really hadn't seemed to far from shoving into it anyway.
That's when he'd crossed that line that bordered between simple friendship and something that didn't even have a name inside of his mind yet.
Pulling Nicolae into his arms he felt the younger boy start to struggle against him and almost gave up when Nicolae's wall just fell apart and all around him. No one had ever really cared about him before save for Kimber, in the way he'd always wanted to be cared for. Everyone else had always held him at arms length as if his abused life labeled him diseased and unwanted by the rest of humanity. But here was Alice holding him as if he left goes right now the earth would swallow him up forever. Alice realized then that Nicolae craved human contact and yet he was so scared of people rejecting him as they'd so often done. Afraid they'd shut him out. Nicolae had never cried in front of anyone not even when his father had beaten the snot out of him. He'd never shed a tear never dared to make a single sound until now. Kissing the crown on his head Alice whispered into his hair "It's okay to cry"¦I'm not going to leave you."
He wished now as he pulled into the parking lot of Downtowns most famous gentlemen's club, that he'd been able to keep his word instead of throwing away someone so amazingly precious to him he was a fool to ever forgive himself for it. He knew deep down he never would.

The toothpick thin tramp gyrating her hipbones on the black lacquer stage had to be the words worst stripper in the entire world; she also had to be the poster child for anorexia. Kimber felt like he was going to hurl when the skeletons tramp began to crawl across the sage and lash him a mouthful of coffee stained teeth. He'd seen a lot of female dancers before but this had to the most repulsive. He certainly wasn't here to see them anyway, only to meet up with a few friends who worked here.
The skeleton tramp hopped off he stage and came up to sit down next Kimber. Who gave her not even an ounce of pity and openly gagged as she touched his arm. Almost petting it. He thought he skin was going to pull off the muscle and bone of his forearm it wanted to crawl away so badly. Wrenching his arm free he ignored her cooing offers and tried to enjoy his vodka on the rocks. He felt no sensation of kindness towards this girl, and knew exactly by her demeanor what kind of person she was. She was the kind that had no respect for even herself and had no abilities to make friends or find companions of her own. So she steals everyone else's and worst of all does it through blind deceit and pure backstabbing tactics. Some might think what Nicolae and himself did was just as bad, but it didn't even compare they didn't steal, they merely borrowed and gave back to society when things weren't working their way. They didn't destroy the innocent because the innocents were untouchable to people such as themselves. They'd never been innocent, at least not way defined in any dictionary he'd read.

Skeletons were a dangerous type to everyone around them; they lived for the public humiliation of others and the defeat of those better then they. What they did to the men they stole from the girls they befriended and soon discarded was often just as horrid as the punishment their former girlfriends received from the skeletons. They led them around by their bits, the poor idiot doesn't know the difference between her lie's and everyone else's excruciating truths. The guy's never sorry until she's deprived him of all manhood he may or may not have possessed, chopped off his bits and served it to him on a shining silver platter.
Standing from his chair Kimber started towards the back rooms fully intent on getting the hell away from the skeleton tramp. The skeleton tramp however seemed intent on getting his attention, cooing another offer toward him she watched him stop in place and bounce his hips from side to side and turn on his heel. He took a violent swig of his drink before throwing the rest of its contents into her face; he calmly set the glass down on a nearby table. She said in a huffing voice starting to wipe away at her ruined makeup, not that it had been good looking in the first place. "That was so mean!" She sounded more like a spoiled ten year old who didn't get a pony for her birthday, instead of a embarrassed young woman who had no dignity left and seemed proud to show it off. Kimber took this moment to turn his back once more. He really needed another drink.
Getting caught up in the sound of Marilyn Manson's voice over the loudspeaker system, Kimber swayed his body, mouthing the music as he traveled slowly to the bar. They never asked for your ID in Downtown. Of course Kimber had never needed to show one anyway. He was such a charmer like that. He stopped short of the bar however his attention quickly losing it's former intent on replenishing his lack of vodka. Because standing twelve feet away from the entrance was Nicolae. He looked shattered and burned around the edges of his emotions. Walking up he jumped slightly when Nicolae did the same as he touched his shoulders, "Baby why are you here. I thought you went home?" Leaning in so Kimber could hear him over the loud blaring music he said "I royally screwed myself over. Can you get me something to drink please I really need to talk." Kimber smiled sweetly in his own way. "Anything for you baby." He honestly meant that, it wasn't often he could deny Nicolae when he was sad or upset about something. It's what friends did; they took care of one another. Grabbing them two drinks he sat down in front of Nicolae at a small table far away from any of the stages not wanting to be disturbed by the dancers.
Watching Nicolae sip his baby faced martini, which was his favorite drink in the whole world if he was going to bother drinking at all. "What happened? Did Mitchell walk in on you"¦yea know?" Nicolae shook his head no. "I wish that had been it. Somehow it would have turned out a little better as far as outcomes go, but no I screwed myself over I slipped up and said the wrong thing and she sniffed me out faster then a drug dog in Columbia, tore me up like I was a cheap chew toy. She even implied I was some cheap whore; she got all instantly jealous and thought I lied about what my dad did to me. She didn't tell me to leave but I said forget you anyway and walked out." Nicolae felt half out of breath after saying all he had. Taking a tentative sip of his drink he played with the piece of lemon hanging off the side. Kimber sighed, "You told another one about your dad? Shit Nicolae doesn't it ever sink in they all think you're lying after you screw up like that. I thought you knew better. It should be second nature by now they don't care what our parents did to us. They just care about themselves and that they got tricked or whatever, they just want be the freaking victims." Seeing Nicolae's hurt expression Kimber softened "I'm sorry baby. Just forget about her she's a stupid cow anyway." He said leaning over the tabletop and kissing Nicolae, who smiled sadly and returned the kiss before shifting his body to watch the dancers on the stage as a new song began to play.

Nicolae dazed out for a moment staring at one of the glittering signs reflecting in one of the many-mirrored walls near the bar. His mind lost on past remembrances of how many others had rejected him, thrown him back out into the harsh wasteland of the city or as Kimber said his 'place of self damnation'. There were certainly a million other places he could go and stay in. But he wasn't willing to allow himself to become comfortable again not anywhere or for anyone. He wouldn't even live with Kimber who he trusted with his life. Fiddling with a lock of his hair that fell in a thick wisp in front of his eye's he licked his upper lip, trying to sort through all the chaos in his head. It was then that he suddenly felt eyes upon him; they followed along the plains of his face the contours of his cheekbones and against the fullness of his lips that were delicately swollen into a pout. Lifting his chin up he scanned the crowds of people inside the building it was actually very mellow tonight. Setting his empty glass down on the table he glanced in Kimber who was once again at the bar, so he apparently hadn't noticed anyone staring at them.
Out of habit Nicolae rubbed at his eye's to insure no tearstains were left behind from his long walk here, wishing he had brought a compact or something to check his face. He didn't mean to be such a princess about his looks but he couldn't help it. And it seemed that whoever had been watching him from afar had come forward to voice their opinion. A voice from behind him spoke clean and softly to the back of his had but he heard them nonetheless. " Don't worry you look beautiful, like always." Nicolae whirled around and fell against the table; having tangled his legs up he grabbed his hands against the edge. When he froze he stared dumbly at the man in front of him who was dressed in corporate threads all the way down to the high glossed shoe's. He took in the man's toffee colored hair that's length reaches the bottoms of his ear lobes, lined in places with blonde highlights. Naturally arched eyebrows complimented his brown almost black eyes the man had fairly sharp features although his chin was just faintly rounded. Nicolae felt his heart jump up into his throat, he felt himself begin to tremble, he was going to fall apart any second now he forced himself however to speak. "Al...Alice?" The man in front of him seemed to brighten at the sound of his own name. This however only fueled Nicolae slide across the side of the table and slowly step to the side. Alice saw this coming and followed his steps but gave Nicolae a safe distance to move in. "Nicolae please just sit down I only want to talk to you please I know I have no right to come near you but please, please just let me speak to you." Alice said softly. Nicolae only took another step away from him.


As if things couldn't get any worse Alice swore under his breathe as he heard the last person he wanted to come into contact with at this moment in time. "Eh you stay the blood freaking hell away from him." Kimber said as he left the bar, moving towards them faster then Alice would have liked. Nicolae's head shot up and he took this moment to dart towards the entrance, surprising both men. The bouncer at the door did nothing to stop him either, rushing through the parking lot he didn't stop until he reached Kimber's apartment frantically searching for the hide-away-key. Kicking over the potted plant next to the door he watched it fly off the edge of the stairs and onto the hood of someone's car the alarm blaring at the sudden contact of the terracotta shattering against it's hood. Picking up the key he jammed it into the lock and twisted until he was near tears at its incompetence to allow him entrance. Shoving his shoulder against the door he swore out loud at the sharp pain in his shoulder that he received from ramming up against the door. When he finally got the door open he slammed it shut and threw the house key somewhere in the direction of the kitchen. He didn't stop until he was inside Kimber's bedroom and he shut the door not bothering to lock it. Throwing him into the task of disrobing he changed into a pair of Kimber's silk pajama bottoms and a thin white wife beater tank top. Walking against into the bathroom he sat on the edge of the bathtub, running both hands through his hair he took a heavy breath, exhaling slowly he felt so utterly helpless and heavy. Looking up into his reflection in the mirror he wiped frantically at the tears streaming down his face as he broke up into pieces, sliding without concern for himself into the tub he winced at the feeling of his tailbone hitting the bottom of the tub with a thud. Bringing his knees up to his chest he hugged himself and closed his eyes.
Alice stood next to his car fists clenched and hardly in the mood for a fight. Kimber stood in front of him his arms crossed over his chest, glaring daggers into Alice's face. "For the last time Kimber I didn't mean to startle him I just wanted to talk I wasn't going to hurt him." Alice said keeping his tone strictly held. Kimber snorted huffing out a large breath of air. "Yea right. Like you talked to him the last time he saw yea. By the way he's never recovered from that bleeding spat you had with him, but then again why the hell would you give a damn, sure didn't before." Alice closed his eye's a moment trying to sort out his thoughts. Opening them again he studied Kimber closely the younger man hadn't changed very much save for his whole outer exterior. However the Kimber he knew on the inside was just the same. Like a wounded pit bull that just wouldn't go down, Kimber never backed down from a fight whether it was verbal or physical, and if you fought him physically and knocked him down you'd better pray to whatever god you believe in he didn't get back up. You'd sorely regret it. The same terms came into play when anything had to do with Nicolae. "Kimber please just tell me where he went if you're so concerned you can come and stay with him. I won't hurt him I just want to talk it's very important." Kimber pretended for a good ten seconds that Alice wasn't even speaking, playing with his nails for a moment. "If I let you speak to him and he doesn't like where the conversations going and he wants you the hell away from him I'd better see you backing the freaking hell away from him or I'll move you for him, and I don't give a rats ass how I have to do it either." Alice gave a relieved sigh but kept an eye on Kimber as he rounded the back of the car and got into the passenger seat. "Thank you Kimber"¦by the way nice hair." He said as he slid into his seat and started the car. Kimber started primping his hair "Oh thanks I just dyed it last week." Alice pulled out onto the road. "But don't think complimenting me is going to get you into my good graces cause I don't have none." Kimber added as he stared out the window. His Nicky sure wasn't going to like this.
Kimber knew where Nicolae was it wasn't exactly hard to figure it out. Especially when he noticed the obliterated pieces of potted plant on top of someone's car as they pulled up to his place. Taking the stairs two at a time Kimber opened the door stopping short as he tripped over a shoe. Ugh. "You must have really scared him half to death with coming out of the blue like that, he actually remembered to take his shoe's off." Alice paused to take in his surroundings and noticed Kimber wasn't doing to bad for himself, doing whatever it was he did. "Just get Nicolae please Kimber." The other man shrugged tossing the pair of shoes in the corner and out of the way. "Well since you said please." Kimber said as he turned and walked down the hall towards his bedroom, opening the door he poked his head inside. "Nicky baby are you in here?" He knew he had to be inside here his room was a mess with the other boys cloths thrown all over and dresser drawers left open. He went to ask again but he was cut short. "Don't call me that!" a voice snapped from the bathroom. Kimber stepped into the room "Oh crap someone's feeling sassy." He said as he moved towards the bathroom leaning against the doorway he took in Nicolae's choice of hiding place. ".I know you're pissed off baby you have every single right to be but you didn't have to run off like that." Kimber said as he kneeled down reaching into the tub and pulling Nicolae up as far as he could into a hug. "You know I like being your knight in shining armor, I was looking forward to a good fight and instead you ran off like a girl." Nicolae sniffed "I didn't want either of you getting hurt." Kimber's expression soured "I don't get you!" Kimber said loudly as he let go of Nicolae. " He throws you out like last weeks garbage, falls off the face of the earth for a couple years and then suddenly shows up and you want to protect him?" Nicolae stood up inside the tub stepping out and past Kimber. "I don't flipping know okay! I don't, I'm so freaking confused right now as if my night wasn't shitty enough as it was he has to pop into the picture. I know I spent forever waiting for him to come back, kept telling myself he'd been lyin' that he'd come find me and say he really did love me"¦that he didn't want me to go." Kimber leaned against the wall. "Nicolae you know just as well as I do if people really loved us ...yea know truly they'd still be here with us. They wouldn't have gone back to their husbands or wives . and they wouldn't have beaten us our whole lives. Love isn't something that comes to people like us Nicolae, not without severely high prices."
He knew Kimber was partially correct. But his head was spinning and he didn't know which thoughts to believe and which were just gutted hopefulness. Kimber bit the tip of his tongue. "I know he made your world shine Nicolae. I was always jealous of that, and I always will be. But I won't ever forgive him for breaking your heart like he did, I don't believe much that comes out of his mouth and you know how I feel about him. But he's sitting in the living room right now, waiting for you to come out." Nicolae raised an eyebrow his head lifting faintly. "You brought him here"¦Kimber you." Kimber held up his hands "Wash your face and get your skinny ass out there and speak your peace with the man. I'm not getting soft like this anytime soon again so take advantage of it while yea can." Nicolae felt completely nervous again, not feeling like he could move fast enough. Checking his hair in the mirror and washing his face he paused to look at Kimber who pretended like he wasn't there and started painting his nails, only stopping as Nicolae went to walk out "Eh you let him know if he makes you upset I'm goin' to kick his ass right and proper." Nicolae rolled his eye's telling himself to be brave. But where this bravery was coming from he had no idea.
The tile floor was cold beneath his feet and he tried his best not to turn back around and hide in the bedroom. Standing in the front of the hallways entrance he stopped in place. Watching Alice on the couch he looked very different to him without his jeans and boots on, the dress shirt didn't suit him at all and Nicolae could tell he wasn't comfortable in it either. Alice looked up having not heard him walking into the room; he slowly stood up from the couch. "I should probably start by saying I'm sorry." Alice said, his words soft and colored with faint glimmers of nervousness. He didn't deserve to ever see Nicolae again and so he was trying to milk this moment in time for all it was worth. Nicolae didn't move, his expression something mixed between hurt and plain shyness. "I don't care if you apologize, I just want to know why you did it. why you were so cruel and turned into such an asshole, I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not stupid either so don't go saying I did a bunch of shit wrong." Alice changed his mind Nicolae sounded a tad pissed off, and he had every right to be. Sitting back down on the couch he watched Nicolae lean against the wall. "Nicolae"¦you have to understand something. I owe a lot of people, a lot of very powerful people I was a stupid punk when I was younger and I wanted everything all at once. So I made a deal with a man and I signed the papers. I was a real boxer Nicolae the whole nine yards I had a manager and a nice house. But"¦then I realized where it was leading me I wasn't winning because I was good I was winning because every ring I stepped into was rigged up. So I tried to break away, told them I didn't want it anymore and gave everything back the house, cars, all the money I had left that I hadn't spent, I met you Nicolae about a year before they found me again. When they did I knew they'd hurt you. They'd tear you apart and leave you dead in some ditch. I couldn't bear to even think of it, I didn't want anyone hurting you ever again due to some mistake I made."


Alice hesitated a moment to watch Nicolae's expression, he couldn't read it at all and thought maybe it was for the best. "That night"¦When I said all those nasty things I was drunk and scared out of my mind, I was so stressed out and frustrated I wanted to keep you safe and the only way I could do that at the time was to get you as far from me as I could to where you didn't want to come back, they'd seen you with me at the fights. Seen us places in public and knew you were living with me. I couldn't protect you on my own I was a target and still am, so I panicked and I knew they were coming that night I didn't know when and I didn't have enough time to explain. Please, please believe me Nicolae it killed me to hurt you like that to say all those lies, I didn't mean a word of it.I just wanted you to be safe. If you don't want to see me ever again I understand you have every right to hate me forever I don't blame you if you want me dead." Alice finished by standing up he'd said what he'd wanted to say for several years now and he wasn't even surprised that he didn't feel any better then before.
Nicolae had been silent the entire time he was speaking he never even flinched a muscle. That trapped sparrow was becoming increasingly frantic for him to make his decision, to come to terms with the words swirling inside his head. Nicolae felt as if the sand was piling up faster then usual and he struggled to keep still, his body was feeling as if it were spring loaded ready to go off any second and explode. Clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white. "You told me you hated me, that you didn't love me and wanted me gone forever"¦you didn't mean that, you honestly didn't mean it." Alice looked up startled to hear his voice. "No I didn't mean it Nicolae." The next thing that happened turned Alice's world completely upside down as if it wasn't mixed up enough as it was.
Nicolae crossed the distance between them with unnatural grace, raising his hand he seemed to be wishing to touch Alice's cheek. However his arm pulled back suddenly and he struck Alice across the face as hard as his thin hand would permit him to. Alice himself tried to step away from him, holding the side of his face in shock. Piercing sensations of pain began flaring up on his skins surface, that pain filtered through his senses and tingled along the contours of his lips. "I hate you." Nicolae hissed through his clenched teeth. Pulling back he never took his eyes off of Alice's as he backed away into the hallway, until finally he broke eye contact as he went into the bedroom, the door shutting with an unpleasant slam.
Alice stood there in complete shock. He'd expected something horrible to happen but nothing like this. He couldn't have prepared himself to hear those words from Nicolae's mouth. Those are words he'd hoped to have never heard from his sweet boy. Wait no"¦Nicolae wasn't a boy anymore he wasn't that teenager he'd picked up in the diner. Alice sat back down cradling his face in his hands, had he done so much damage that he'd caused Nicolae to become so closed up inside? So willing to express his hatred, this wasn't his smiling boy, he tried to tell himself. You've been gone a long time you've missed so much that's happened you can't relate to him, he doesn't trust you he has no reason to believe anything you say. Trust is an important thing in life that's given to few, and Alice realized sadly that he had lost his rights. Rubbing the bridge of his nose he stood up once more and searched the kitchen for a pen and piece of paper to write on. Knowing the risks involved that his message had a better chance of seeing the garbage can then being read by Nicolae himself he took the chance and wrote it regardless of the facts standing in his way, before walking out the front door.
Nicolae laid on the bed his head against Kimbers thigh tears streaming down his cheek, he coughed harshly, and his body quietly trembled. Kimber ran his fingertips through his hair leaning his body over and kissing Nicolae's temple. He whispered trying to comfort his best friend. "You did the right thing baby, you stood up for yourself don't let it bloody tear you up your to good for him he had his chance and he threw it away it's his loss not yours." Try as he might Nicolae just couldn't see that. He was so very angry with Alice for everything he'd done to him. But for most of all he was most certain Alice would have said the very same thing to him if he'd known what Nicolae had been doing to get by the past few years without him. He wasn't sure what he'd solved by saying what he felt to Alice. But he was certain it was better he had said it first before he had to hear again from the person who had once made his life perfect. Nicolae hated crying and this night had just been too much for him to bear all at once, he was pretty sure tomorrow wouldn't be any better. "Then why don't I feel good about it Kim? To tell the truth I feel worse then before. But I know one thing Kim he never would have said he really loved me if he knew what I've done, you know about the subway." Kimber kept his cheek against Nicolae's for a moment "Baby you did what you had to do. You didn't expect it to carry on so long with so many of those women, imagine how I feel I've been doing this longer then you have even. Alice did mean what he said though, he was sorry, you have to understand he has no clue what you've been up to baby he might not even care."
Nicolae stayed quiet now and didn't say anything else, knowing he must be exhausted Kimber pulled him under the covers letting Nicolae rest his head against his chest. Leaning over Kimber pulled the cord on his bedside lamp and the room was engulfed in darkness that swallowed them both up. Kimber hoped things would be better in the morning.
"I hate it when I'm wrong". Kimber said under his breath as he stood in his kitchen in front of the coffee machine. There before him was a messily scribbled note that simply read. "Please meet me for dinner Nicolae, there's things that are unexplained and we both need answers in order to find closure. See you around. Alice." The touching note was finished with a time and place scribbled in an equally hurried fashion, Kimber scrunched up his nose, "See you around? What kind of comment is that. Ugh men" He picked the note up and stuck it to the front of the fridge with a magnet. He didn't like Alice one bit even if the man did compliment him. But he hated seeing his Nicky so torn up inside he'd been doing halfway decent for a while now until just recently. He knew he should throw the note away and not even tell Nicolae about it but something nagging at him inside his brain just wouldn't let him be his normal wicked self. He'd woken up extremely early this morning and left Nicolae asleep the covers all pulled up around him keeping him warm. So when the phone suddenly began to ring Kimber panicked frantically searching for it inside the living room. He found it on the fourth ring and prayed to whatever god there was that it hadn't woken up his sleeping beauty in the bedroom.
Clicking the talk button on the cordless phone he said as softly as he could without being totally unheard "Hello?" the voice on the other end of the line sent shivers up his spine. "Kimber you haven't returned my calls that's really unprofessional." Closing his eye's Kimber silently swore. "Mitchell sweetheart you're actually awake at this ungodly hour? Um yea. I didn't call you back because I was kind of out all night." Kimber said as nicely as he could force himself to. "Hmm, really well then I assume you forgot about our breakfast plans, it's quite alright I can come by and pick you up now, I'll give you fifteen minutes to shower and change." Kimber rolled his eye's he couldn't stand this man anymore he hated being ordered around as if he were eight. "No Mitchell I can't some plans come up and I can't cancel okay? I'm sorry Mitch." He said hoping he got through to him he didn't want to leave this morning. "Nonsense Kimber, I'll be there in fifteen wear something dressy we're going to the country club." Kimber gritted his teeth about to say something when Mitchell cut him off "Oh and Kimber, why don't you bring Nicolae with you I have an assistant who would just be delighted to meet him." The line went dead. The phone slid from Kimber's grasp and fell to the floor with a cracking thud. He thought he was going to be sick.