Jelly Babies

Many, many thanks to Moonstar, Doll'sEyes, StoryJunkie, Snidne, and Tenshistar for their unflagging interest in this story. I can say that a million times, a million different ways, and still never convey how much it means to me each time you take the time to leave a review.

This will probably be my last update before I leave to spend Christmas with my family. So I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, filled with joy (and tons of presents)!

Snipets of song lyrics are from "To Have And Not To Hold" by Madonna

Love,
Falcon


Jelly Babies

Chapter Five


Pepper toyed with a tiny, paper umbrella – the sort of umbrella that often got stuck in fancy drinks. She’d discovered a crate of them while Kale was clearing out the storage area he’d transformed into a bedroom for her. When she asked if she could have some, Kale had given her the whole box, and she’d set about stringing them together, before hanging them on the grey, windowless walls. Looking at the brightly colored garlands usually cheered her up, and making more of them gave her something to do to. But now she was lost in her thoughts. Instead of tying the umbrella in place, she pushed it open and shut, open and shut, until it beat like a small, paper heart.

First born from a woman, then born from a man, she is the triple goddess – mother, sister, and daughter to herself.

She needed to tell Nicholas. Marzi, too, of course. But she wasn’t worried about Marzi. Her big brother had finally grown up. He would miss her, certainly, but he was strong now. He no longer needed her like he’d needed her the night she turned her back on heaven to go to him. And, although he would never willingly let her see it, perhaps he would even be a bit relieved to have his life and body back.

But how could she tell Nicholas? Nicholas, who had sacrificed his voice, his dream, to save her. Nicholas, who had asked for nothing in return except the chance to offer her his love. And oh, how he loved her. When he touched her, his eyes betrayed so much awe and gratitude, like a pauper caressing some jewel recently discovered in the rubbish – caressing the only truly beautiful thing his life has ever held. How could she tell him that she was about to change? That his lover was about to become his daughter and she might not even remember that it had ever been otherwise? And that, in some strange way, it was his doing, because he had bedded her, and brought the prophecy to its fulfillment?

What if he hated her? What if he hated their child?

Pepper’s fingers trembled slightly, and the paper umbrella slipped from them. But instead of retrieving it, Pepper draped the unfinished garland over the bedside table, to be completed when she felt stronger. Nicholas wouldn’t hate her. He wouldn’t hate their child. But the loss of her would rip him up inside. She knew how that felt. She remembered being trapped inside the mirror, remembered the moment when Nicholas’s eyes had slipped shut again, and she’d known that this time, no matter how much she screamed and begged, they wouldn’t open. That was as close to hell as she’d ever come. To think that she would do that to him, to the man she loved – it was almost too horrible to contemplate.

But what choice did she have? Should she fight against this, and risk their child being born empty and soulless? Should she just slip away without telling Nicholas, and rob him of his chance to say goodbye?

The more Pepper thought about it, the more she realized there was no choice. Fear of speaking difficult truths had always been her great weakness. She didn’t want to hurt others, or to be hurt by them, and yet, her silence had caused more pain than words ever could. Because of it, Nicholas had nearly destroyed himself by betraying her. Because of it, James would never hear her words of love spoken in anything except a dream. Struggling under the weight of her swollen belly, Pepper swung her legs over the side of the bed, and slid her feet into her slippers. She would go right now. Before her resolve vanished. She would find Nicholas, tell him everything. And, somehow, they would get through this.

As she left the bedroom, her mind fixed on the conversation ahead of her, Pepper never noticed that a carelessly placed step had crushed the fallen umbrella beneath her feet.


*****


Before Kale brought them to Inferno, Nicholas had never seen the inside of a dance club. Of course, he’d imagined what they might be like, conjuring all sorts of wild fantasies, but as much as he longed to discover if any of his dreams resembled the truth, he’d always been too shy to go alone. And his friends at the Chicago Institute for the Performing Arts were more interested in opera than techno.

But now, here he was. Actually living in one of the city’s most decadent clubs. From the first night they arrived, the pounding beats that throbbed through the walls of their room had called to him, until he finally overcame his fear, and ventured into the main area. That was when he’d known that his fantasies were only pale imitations, a child’s attempt to understand forbidden adult rituals. The flashing lights. The outlandishly costumed dancers writhing beneath them. The energy that seemed to hang in the air like a shimmering haze. And, more than anything else, the music played so loud that it made his body vibrate, until he felt it deep inside himself, as he’d once felt each song pulse inside his gut, and inside his lungs, and inside his throat, while he sang it. He’d expected to be dazzled by the club. To be shocked, seduced, and amazed. But he hadn’t expected to love it.

And yet, he did love it. So, whenever there was nothing else he could do for Pepper or Marzi, he came here. Not to dance. He was still too self-conscious for that. But to watch, and to share in the mob’s powerful emotions, and to enter a world where the deafening volume of the music made his inability to speak a handicap he shared with everyone on the dance floor.

Tonight, Nicholas stood on the raised platform that ran around the sides of the club. Resting his hands on its railing, he stared down at the dancers, and listened to the woman’s voice as she sang, cold and sad, like winter wind blowing away the memory of a treasured kiss.

To love
But not to keep
To laugh
But not to weep...

He’d heard the song before. The DJ played it a lot. But now, for some reason, it seemed to reach deep inside him. To speak to him alone. Nicholas found his lips moving to echo the words. And yet, as hard as he tried, he couldn’t understand why they suddenly made him feel so sad.

I’ve been told
You’re to have
But not to hold...

The slight brush of fingers against his hand startled Nicholas from his thoughts. Turning away from the rail, he searched for the person who had touched him, and a grin broke through his melancholy when he saw her familiar face. Cassie. With elfin features, and blonde hair like frothy moonlight, she was the first friend he’d made while hanging out in the club. Their initial encounter had been brief, lasting just long enough for her to run up and slip a bracelet of brightly colored beads over his wrist, before dashing back into the crowd. The next morning, as Nicholas listened to several employees complain about the increased presence of ravers at the club, he’d learned that the bracelet was called “candy”, a token given to people the raver liked.

Now, as then, Cassie gifted him with a new circle of beads. And when she placed it on his wrist, Nicholas experienced a familiar jolt of pleasure and guilt. The pleasure, he understood. The guilt, however, always puzzled him. He liked Cassie. But compared to Pepper, she was a candle overwhelmed by the sun. She could never inspire even the smallest flicker of the passion he felt for Pepper. And Pepper would understand that. If he showed the bracelet to Pepper, he felt sure that she would enjoy admiring it. If he told her about Cassie, he felt sure that she would be glad that he’d made a friend.

But even as the familiar arguments paraded through his head, Nicholas knew that he would not show Pepper the bracelet, that he would hide it away with the others. And he would not tell her about Cassie. Almost against his will, Nicholas’s fingers tugged at the tin medal strung on the leather cord he wore around his neck. Pepper had given him that. But she would never give him James. James was the soft, dark secret of her heart, a forbidden room inside her body where he could never go, no matter how much they loved each other. Nicholas didn’t blame her, or resent her for it. But he wanted to have his own hidden treasure. The fact that his relationship with Cassie was completely innocent didn’t matter. But the fact that it was his, and his alone, did.

Unaware of his internal debate, Cassie took hold of Nicholas’s hand, and pulled him over to a nearby table. Here, away from the dance floor, it was possible to have a conversation, albeit a shouted one. Nicholas had never made any formal excuse for his lack of speech, but Cassie seemed to take it in stride. Even as they sat down, she started one of the cheerful monologues that seemed to fall so effortlessly from her lips.

“Great crowd tonight, huh? I almost didn’t come, because it’s gotten so cold outside, you can actually see your breath. Isn’t it neat when that happens? I’ve been trying blow smoke rings, like Gandalf, but it doesn’t work. Maybe you can only do that with real smoke? Anyway, I nearly didn’t come, because it’s so cold, and I don’t have enough money to pay to check my coat, and I hate just leaving it lying around, because someone might steal it, right? That’s weird, isn’t it? I can afford to come to this great club, but I can’t afford to check my coat. I can’t believe how much they’ve lowered the cover charge...”

Resting his chin in his hands, Nicholas smiled as he listened, charmed by Cassie’s innocent concerns. Things that seemed so far removed from his impending fatherhood, and the powerful being that wanted to steal his child.

“...and it really isn’t fair, the way I keep giving you candy, but you never give any to other people. Then I thought, maybe you’re like me with the coat check. Maybe you can’t afford any beads. Or maybe you don’t know how to string them. So I decided to bring some of my stuff, and we can make a few bracelets together, right?”

With that, Cassie produced a plastic carrying case, and plopped it down on the table. Inside, Nicholas could see an amazing assortment of vintage beads. Unlike the plastic baubles that other ravers exchanged, Cassie’s bracelets were always made from painted glass, semi-precious stones, and metal orbs accented by glittering gems. Not waiting for Nicholas to give any indication of his willingness to learn this particular skill, Cassie took out a length of cord, and handed it to him, before launching into a series of semi-intelligible instructions.

“First, you need to chose an anchor bead, and tie a knot. That’s right. Except I don’t think you want it tangled around your finger like that. Okay. That’s better. Now, pick out some other beads. Oh! That’s one of my favorites. No, go ahead and use it, that’s okay. Did I ever tell you how I got that bead? It’s quite an interesting story. I think beads are like words, and pieces of jewelry are like the stories you get when you string them together...”

Fortunately, the process proved simple enough that Nicholas could muddle through it without the aid of coherent advice. Soon, he’d completed one bracelet, and begun work on another. But before he could finish his second effort, one of the men who worked as club security approached the table, and with a tone that sounded almost apologetic, asked if he was Nicholas Foster.

Nicholas nodded.

“Okay. The boss told me to give you a message. He said to tell you that some dame named Pepper is looking for you.”

Pepper! At the sound of her name, Nicholas jumped to his feet so fast that he bumped against the table, sending beads spilling everywhere. A cry of distress escaped Cassie as she watched her treasures roll across the floor. Hastily, Nicholas dropped to his knees, and helped her retrieve the stray orbs, but his mind was barely on the task. Pepper needed him. He’d been out here, messing around, when Pepper needed him. He had to go to her.

Finally, the last escaped bead had been captured. Nicholas wanted to say something to Cassie, to explain why he needed to leave so abruptly, but he couldn’t. Instead, he took his one complete bracelet, and placed it on her wrist. He felt a little foolish, giving her own beads back to her, but the gesture seemed to please Cassie, who smiled as she waved goodbye to him.

Hurrying off to find Pepper, Nicholas never glanced back. And so, he never saw the innocence drain from Cassie’s smile, never saw it transform into something twisted, cruel, and...hungry.


*****


“Aryeh!”

Kale stood in the alley behind Inferno, shouting at the night. Over the last few days, he’d felt the presence of God’s Agent, testing the defensive spells Kale had cast around the club. Until, finally, Kale had decided that if this battle was the one destined to defeat him, he’d be damned if he fell to an opponent without ever meeting him face to face. “Show yourself! Or are we children, who need to entertain ourselves with games of hide-and-seek?”

“Taintling.” Something gold flickered in the darkness, and then Aryeh stepped from the shadows, as if he’d always been there. “How accurately you name yourself. A child, throwing a childish tantrum, defying those who only want what’s best for you.”

“Perhaps,” Kale conceded. Choosing his words carefully, he sent them out like scouts, trying to discover which ones would provoke, which ones would reveal a hidden weakness. “But right now, my childish defiance sure is screwing up this precious Plan of yours.”

Fury flashed across Aryeh’s expression, and for a moment, the magical barrier between him and Kale crackled with energy, strained by Aryeh’s effort to push through it. “Do not speak of The Plan! Filth such as you can never understand the power of God and those who serve Him. He knows that I am righteous, and when the proper time comes, He will gift me with His holy might, so that I can strike you down.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” Kale remembered the tears that had fallen from his eyes when he finally admitted that he loved Marzi. And he wondered if, in that moment, he was the one God had gifted with a bit of holy might. Whose side was God on, anyway? Did anyone really know? “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.”

Unfortunately, rather than being provoked to further fury by Kale’s mocking, Aryeh seemed to realize that he’d slipped. Quickly, God’s Agent brought his emotions back under control. “You’re only making this worse, Taintling. I was prepared to help the brother and sister. Offer them sanctuary. But this has pushed my patience past its breaking point.” Aryeh brushed back his coat, showing Kale the sword hilt he wore beneath it. “If they refuse to go willingly, then I will slice open their belly, and tear the child out with my own hands.”

Again, bursts of energy danced across the magical barrier. But this time, instead of being caused by Aryeh, they were the result of Kale’s own wrath. The suggestion of anyone hurting Marzi like that made his blood boil. However, years of dealing with his demon heritage had taught him how to reign in his emotions. So, rather than giving Aryeh the satisfaction an angry retort, he merely raised his eyebrow. “That’s interesting. God’s great Plan changed just because you got pissed off?”

“The Plan does not concern itself with details. What matters is that I take the child. If I have to remove a few obstacles to do so, then God will consider that an acceptable sacrifice.”

“You know what, Aryeh? I’m a demon, and even I don’t believe that. You can parade around like heaven’s answer to James Bond, but I don’t think God turns a blind eye every time you hurt someone, and I don’t think that you have any clearer idea what His Plan is than I do.”

Aryeh smirked. “When I cleave your head from your shoulders, and hold it up as a warning to all of His enemies, you will know who He supports.” With that parting shot, God’s Agent stepped back into the darkness and vanished.

Staring at the shadows, Kale cursed under his breath. Then he turned around, and went back into the club, hoping to ease the tightness in his throat with a drink of something strong. Oddly, he found himself missing his dealings with Balberith. Sure, the Duke of Hell was an arrogant, treacherous, son-of-a-bitch, but at least he didn’t brag about being God’s best friend. For a moment, Kale imagined Aryeh as a child, standing in the middle of a playground while stubbornly insisting that God liked him best. The ridiculous image helped to quell some of the fear that had begun to rise up in Kale’s heart. He knew that, sooner or later, his power would no longer be enough, and Aryeh would get through. But that day was not today.

As he headed for the bar, Kale glanced up, and noticed Nicholas seated at one of the tables on the raised walkway overhead. Although Kale would never admit it, Nicholas’s enjoyment of Inferno pleased him. He’d worked hard to create this place, this center of his power and his pleasure, and Nicholas’s appreciation of it made Kale experience a prickling of pride. However, when his gaze slid to Nicholas’s companion, a far more familiar sense of irritation replaced any kinder thoughts. Honestly, if heaven ever wanted to hunt evil, they should just dangle that boy in the air and see what showed up. He could attract devils in a nunnery.

Kale beckoned to one of the security guards working the floor that night. “You see the young man up there?” Making no effort to raise his voice, Kale pointed at Nicholas. A major perk of his demon ancestry seemed to be that he never needed to shout to be heard, no matter how loud the music got. When the guard nodded, indicating that he’d spotted Nicholas, Kale continued, giving the one message he was sure would get Nicholas out of there. “Tell him that Pepper is looking for him.”

“Who?”

“Just tell him. And when he’s left, escort his female companion to my office.”

Leaving the puzzled guard behind, Kale stopped at the bar just long enough to get a shot of whisky. After throwing it back, he made his way out of the club’s public area, and headed for his office. Once there, he barely had time to sit down at his desk before a feminine voice disturbed his thoughts.

“...anyway, that’s what I told her. I mean, I’ll get a job when I find an interesting one, like I could be a model at a fetish clothing store. Or a firefighter. Hey, I bet you have a fun job, getting to hang around this cool club all night. And you get paid for it! What did you need to do to get hired as a security guard? Did you have to fight someone, or what?”

Kale glanced up and saw a petite woman standing in the door to his office. Behind her, the guard who had been her escort gave Kale a look, seeming to say that he’d suffered enough, and then he fled. The woman, however, seemed unbothered by his departure, simply directing her monologue at a new target.

“He was nice. You don’t expect security guards to be nice, but he was. Wow! What a great office. At first, I was thinking, how can he have an office inside the club? How could he ever get any work done? But you must have installed some serious sound-proofing, because it’s quiet as a coffin in here. I’m Cassie, by the way. And you must be Kale. Would you like a bracelet? Everyone would be so jealous if you were wearing some of my candy...”

For a moment, Kale could only stare at Cassie in speechless disbelief. Then he caught himself, and folded his arms across his chest, as if that could ward off her babble. “Cassie. I am a great many things. At times, I am even stupid. But I’m not that stupid. So please drop the act before my brain claws its way out of my skull and crawls off to hide.”

Cassie smiled, and this time, it was not a pleasant thing to see. Her lips parted like a wound opening on her face. “As you wish. Are you going to banish me?”

“No.” Kale rose from behind his desk, and circled around it, so that he faced Cassie. “I have always tolerated your kind. If your money is good, you’re welcome at Inferno. I don’t even care who you eat. But the boy you were just talking to – he’s off limits.”

“But I like him.” Cassie’s pout was not much more attractive than her smile had been. Opening her mouth wider, she caressed her fangs with a nimble, blood-red tongue. “He listens to me. Anyway, I wasn’t planning on eating him.”

“I don’t care if you planned on taking him to the prom. Stay away. Or I will personally drive a stake through the shriveled remains of your heart.”

Cassie looked petulant. “What does it matter to you? Word on the street is that you already have a human to keep you busy in bed. Why do you need this one?”

“He’s under my protection.” Kale tried not to wince at the thought of having intimate relations with Nicholas. “That’s all you need to know.”

“And what is your protection worth? Word on the street is that Kale’s gotten soft, that love has made him all squishy inside, and smothered the fire that used to burn in his heart. Kale doesn’t kill anymore, they say. He’s too busy making valentines with glitter and pretty pieces of lace.”

Before Cassie could even close her mouth after shaping the last word, Kale slammed her against the wall, and pinned her there, his arm across her throat like a restraining bar. “Tell me, little vampire,” he snarled, pressing hard enough to cut off her breath. “How soft do I feel to you?”

Cassie made a gurgling noise, but for once, couldn’t force out words.

Without letting up, Kale moved his head, so that he was whispering directly in her ear. “Do not mistake the tenderness I feel toward one man as a tenderness that extends to the world in general. Now, I don’t want a war with your kind, so I’m going to tell you one more time. Stay away from the boy. If you choose to disregard this second warning, you will not hear it a third time. You will simply be dead. Understand?”

A hiss escaped Cassie, and she bared her fangs again. But she also nodded. So Kale released her, and sat back down at his desk, immersing himself in the papers scattered across it as if there was nothing more to discuss. The next time he looked up, she was gone.