Boy Next Door

Notes: Holy cow, guys. I love you. ^_^ Thank you so much for the reviews!
CorneredIn A Tub: Thanks for the idea; it gave me the inspiration to get started on this chapter!

Oh, um, the chapter title’s not mine. I stole it from Green Day’s “Holiday.”

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Chapter Six: A Hymn Called Faith and Misery

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I woke up the next morning with a mind to just not go to school. I had never skipped school in my life, but as I lay in bed that morning, I started to realize that it wouldn’t really matter if I were there or not. I replayed my daily schedule in my head, thinking of all that I would have to do that day, and there was nothing going on that I couldn’t either do without or make up at a later date. So why bother?

“Ryan? Don’t you think you should be getting up now?”

It was mom. Rolling my eyes and turning in bed so that my back was to her, I tried to ignore her and the light that she turned on when she entered. It was pointless, because she just sat on the edge of my bed anyway. I pushed back the urge to slap her hand away as she rubbed my shoulder, choosing to bury my face deeper into the pillow instead.

“Honey, I wish you would tell me what’s bothering you. When I came home you just locked yourself in your room. I wanted to give you your space, but we can’t have you not going to school. You need to—”

“—Get an education so I can get a good job and be able to support my family. I know mom,” I muttered, my words slightly muffled.

“Then get up.”

I felt anger boil up inside of me, but I pushed it down, because I knew I wasn’t actually angry at her. I sat up, my hair in tangles all over my head, and frowned. Mom pulled me to her and kissed my forehead, hugging me. It didn’t make the pain go away at all.

“Fine, I’ll go to school.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I know. You were going whether you wanted to or not. We don’t skip school in this house, dear.”

With another affectionate pat on my head, she stood and walked out of my room. Polly fluttered awake in her cage.

Rubbing my eyes, I got out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. I took a shower and brushed my teeth, not caring about time, hoping that I would miss the bus and Kyle. I dressed in some jeans that I had tossed on the floor and a shirt that smelled clean. Who was I trying to impress anyway?

I refilled Polly’s water thing and gave her a few pellets to chew on before slinging on my backpack, and creeping to Ian’s room. He was still sleeping comfortably; his school didn’t start until about an hour later. I brushed his hair out of his face and smiled slightly. He yawned and shifted a little under the covers. I walked out of his room to let him sleep.

Just as I reached the front door, mom peeked around the corner. She walked up to me and smiled, holding the brown bag with my lunch in it.

“Hm, you’re early. Don’t forget you lunch, sweetie.”

“Early?”

She nodded. I sighed through my nose and put my hand on the doorknob, giving her a pathetic wave. Her expression was worried, but she didn’t say anything. As I walked out into the comfortable morning air, she stuck her head out the door and called for me.

“Hey, have a good day, okay?” She looked at my face and sighed sadly. “Well, have the best you can.”

Nodding, I walked down the driveway of my house and down the street a little, hoping mom wouldn’t wonder why I wasn’t heading to Kyle’s house (which was in the opposite direction), and stopped at the bus stop. I was the only one who came to this stop, because apparently everyone else living on my side of the neighborhood owned some sort of transportation. I ground my teeth together angrily. Why was I up this goddamn early?!

I glanced at my watch, and noticed that I probably hadn’t missed the bus. With my luck, though, the bus would be late and I would have to watch Kyle drive past me as he left for school. I started thinking about turning around and going home.

Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me. I tensed, not turning around, wondering who would bother to show up at the bus stop around here? In the back of my mind, though, I had a feeling who would be standing behind me when I turned around.

“Um, hey…”

The voice confirmed my suspicions, and I breathed in deeply. I told myself that I would ignore him, that I wouldn’t turn around, that I wouldn’t look into his big, beautiful brown eyes.

“Uh, I know you’re mad, Ryan…and you have every right to be. I shouldn’t have said that, but—”

“Kyle, I don’t care. I don’t have anything to say to you, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to me,” I bit back, my anger at him overpowering the part of me that would have been content to listen to his voice all day.

He was quiet for a long moment. I heard the loud brakes of the bus around the corner; it would be in front of us soon. I heard him shuffle next to me, and his hand was suddenly on my cheek, turning my face to his.

“Ryan, please…”

The look in his eyes was sincere, I knew, but what I didn’t know was how long it would last. He could spout shit to me all day when we were alone, but as soon as his foot touched the schoolyard, he would be a completely different person.

The bus rode up to us, and Kyle took his hand from my face.

I boarded first and took the first empty seat I saw. Kyle sat next to me, and I deliberately stared out the window, determined to ignore him the way he ignored me. We rode in silence, the two of us, and for once I was grateful for the chaos that surrounded us. It made the journey to school a little more bearable.

“Ryan,” Kyle tried again, when we were halfway to the campus. “Ryan, talk to me.”

I narrowed my eyes at the thick glass of the window, my fingers clenching around the strap of my backpack. He sighed.

“What do you want from me?”

At that I turned slightly to stare at him—blankly, because it was a stupid question. I didn’t answer him and hoped my silence would give him a hint that I wouldn’t be talking to him for a while. Kyle stared back at me, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes filled with sorrow.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his expression begging me to say something in return.

I turned my head and looked out the window again.

For the rest of the ride to school, I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He would look up occasionally and stare at me for a moment, I guess hoping that I would have a change of heart, and then look down at his backpack defeatedly. Part of me felt sorry for him, and just wanted to forget that anything had ever happened, but my more logical side didn’t trust him to be anything less than a bastard when he got around his track friends.

The bus stopped in the lane behind all of its counterparts, and once off the bus Kyle walked with me towards my first period class. His class was nowhere near mine. I increased my pace a little, thinking maybe he would just go away, but he matched my speed and stayed next to me.

“Ryan. Just let me talk to you.”

“You’ve been talking all morning and you still haven’t said anything,” I muttered.

He stopped, and automatically I stopped with him. Other students ignored us and just walked around. Setting my jaw, I started to walk away, to mix with everyone else. I heard Kyle sigh.

“Ryan!”

I rolled my eyes and looked up at the sky. I turned around and walked back towards him. A hopeful smile made its way to his lips. I stopped in front of him and stared directly into his eyes, ignoring their beauty because at the moment I was too busy being pissed that he was taller than me. I frowned.

“Go. Fuck. Yourself.”

My words were distinct; I didn’t want him to miss an ounce of the rage that I felt. He stared at me, hurt in his eyes, but I didn’t care. I did, but not at that precise moment. I was the vengeful boyfriend, or girlfriend depending on which movie you watched, and I couldn’t let a little thing called affection get in the way of making him feel like shit.

I turned and walked to my class, knowing that he wasn’t behind me. I couldn’t help but feel really empty and alone as I climbed the stairs to math class.

I slept through every period that day and managed to skip lunch too. No one bothered me, of course, and I was free to stew in my own pot of hatred and self-loathing all by myself.

When the last bell rang, I walked hurriedly to the bus. I wanted to get an empty seat before I had to be faced with the humiliation of asking to sit with someone, just so that they could give me a disgusted look and move to sit with one of their friends. I sat in the seat that I always did, before Kyle showed up, happy that it wasn’t occupied. After a while of waiting, the line of busses pulled off into the street, and suddenly I realized that Kyle hadn’t got on. I frowned, because I figured that he hitched a ride with someone. Probably with whomever he chose, because Mr. Popular could get whatever he wanted without even trying.

I stared out the window, not seeing any of the scenery that passed by. My mind was bitterly focused on Kyle. I couldn’t get him out of my head no matter how hard I tried.


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Ack!! Bad chapter, sorry. Not what I expected when I started. Short and quick and probably just an excuse to update. >_< Hopefully the next one will be better. I really do plan on finishing this, though, but life has all of sudden decided to whack me in the face so bear with me. But! I have started on the next chapter already! I don’t know if that means it will be finished any faster, but hey. It’s a start. *grin*