The Henry Tapes

(Mrs. B): “Good afternoon. I’m here with Henry Grass. This is our fifth session. The date is September 26th, 2XXX. Hello. It’s nice to see you again, Henry.”

(Henry): “Hello…( dry cough).” 

(Mrs. B): “I know it’s been some time since our last session. How have things been?”

(Henry): “Good, good. We hired a new guy to take over, Customer Relations at my job. It’s been a big weight off my back.” 

(Mrs. B): “That’s good! I remember you telling me how stressful that was for you. How have you been managing your stress?”

(Henry): "it's been better. I started doing that deep breathing you taught me when I get overwhelmed. It’s helped.” 

(Mrs. B): “Good! I’m glad to hear that. Speaking of your job, did the bullying situation get any better?”

(Henry): "Oh… well it hasn’t gotten any worse now that we have this new hire. He’s been a big help, he’s been really nice and caught on to the work fast.” 

(Mrs. B): “I’m glad things haven’t gotten worse, and that this new person has made work a little better for you as well. It’s a small step in the right direction.”

(Henry): "Yeah.”

(Mrs. B): “Has anything come up since our last session that you’d like to talk about… I hate to be the one to address the elephant in the room, but I’d like to ask what happened to your arm?”

(Henry): "Ah! (laughs). I went into the body shop to drop off some parts that got delivered to the wrong building… I slipped on something and fractured my wrist breaking my fall.” 

(Mrs. B): “That sounds painful. Are you alright?”

(pause)

(Henry): "Yeah… I’m okay. One of the detailers helped me get to the ER… I’ve always been a little clumsy.”

(Mrs. B): “Hopefully you heal up soon.”

(Henry): "Yeah…”

(Mrs. B): “What else has been going on?”

(Henry): "Well things got busy at work and I had to pull a lot of overtime to get things done. Leon was upset about that, but I told him not to push the work on others or they’d get bitchy about it.”

(Mrs. B): “That’s good on your part. Setting a boundary so your personal life doesn’t impose on your work life is important in your situation.”

(Henry): "I just felt bad because the new hire offered to help me a lot so his first week was probably hell because of it.”

(Mrs. B): “That was nice of him.”

(Henry): "Yeah… no one else has done that before. Leon got pretty angry about though.”

(Mrs. B): “And why is that?”

(Henry): "He said that it messed with the labor hours to have us both working so much overtime… I think he was just mad that the new hire was being friendly.”

(Mrs. B): “Does Leon get jealous easily?”

(Henry): "Yeah (laughs) He’s always been a little overprotective, but it got worse when we started…when we…” 

(Silence)

(Henry): "I’m sorry my phone is vibrating… I have to step out for a moment.”

(Mrs. B): “Go right ahead head.”

(Henry): "Thank you…”

———

(Door opens and closes)

(Mrs. B): “Is everything okay?”

(Henry): "Yes. It was just work-related.” 

(Mrs. B): “If you’d like to talk about it feel free, you seem a bit shaken up.”

(Henry): "No… it wasn’t serious. He just wanted to know where I’ve been going for lunch.”

(Mrs. B): “He?”

(Henry): "Leon…”

(Mrs. B): “You haven’t told him about our sessions?”

(Henry): "No. He’s pretty old-school about that. He thinks therapy is a scam.” 

(Mrs. B): “How would he react if he knew that you were here right now?”

(Rubs injured arm).

(Henry): "Probably not good.” 

(Mrs. B): “Does your arm hurt?”

(Henry): "No… oh um not really it just gets itchy sometimes.” ( left knee begins bouncing up and down). 

(Mrs. B): “It seems like you’ve been better though not taking into account your wrist. Since our last session. Do you remember what we were discussing last time?”

(Henry): "Yeah… I do.”

(Mrs. B): “Are you comfortable continuing that conversation?”

(Henry): "Actually… I’d like to talk about something else if that’s okay?”

(Mrs. B): “That’s fine. What’s on your mind?”

(Henry): "Everything has been okay. Work gets to me sometimes but I feel like if I work harder it’ll lighten up over time.”

(Mrs. B): “How about outside of work? Have you been spending any time with your dad? I know your relationship has been better in the more recent years.”

(Henry): "He comes over occasionally to see Leon. They like to watch basketball games and stuff like that. I don’t talk to him much, I mean I talk to him more than I used to but even then it’s not much.” 

(Mrs. B): “Do you want him to be more involved in your life?”

(Henry): "Yeah… I mean it’d be nice if we talked a little more. I wouldn’t know what to say though(laughs nervously).”

(Mrs. B): “What kind of things does he like? Maybe I can help you create some talking points for the next time you see each other.”

(Henry): “Oh um…. Well, he likes cars and basketball. He listened to a lot of jazz music when I lived with him. He’s pretty quiet so I don’t know too much about him.” 

(Mrs. B): “I see. Try asking about his favorite jazz artist next time. Showing interest in other people’s interests is a streamline to building a good relationship. It’ll take some time but as long as you’re trying it might turn out for you.”

(Henry): “I’ll try that…”

(Mrs. B): “How about your mother and younger siblings? I know they live further away but have you tried reaching out?”

(Henry): “No. That’s probably not a good idea…”

(Mrs. B): “What makes you think that?”

(Henry): “When I was in Atlanta… I called her, my mom. She said some things and it’s better if I don’t… I don’t want to make her upset.” 

(Mrs. B): “Do you want to share what she said?”

(Henry): “Um (voice breaks slightly), not today…” 

(Mrs. B): “That’s okay, when you’re ready I’ll be here to listen.”

(Henry): “Thank you.” 

(Mrs. B): “From my understanding, you seem pretty alone… do you feel that way?”

(Henry): “Not all the time, I spend a lot of time with Leon now.”

(Mrs. B): “Is he the only person you spend most of your time with? You haven’t mentioned any friends or coworkers to my knowledge.”

(Mrs. B): “Yeah, he’s the only person really. I’m not very sociable so it’s hard to get to know people.”

(Henry): “How about Leon does he have a lot of friends? Have you met any of his family?”

(Henry): “It feels like he knows everyone (laughs) anywhere we go he sees someone he knows. I haven’t met his family, he doesn’t talk about them at all.”

(Mrs. B): “You got closer to him in high school? Was he involved with someone then?”

(Henry): “I think he was married… I remember him mentioning his wife was nagging him once a long time ago. I never met her and he doesn’t like to talk about it.” 

(Mrs. B): “How do you feel about him being closed off regarding his past?”

(Henry): “I don’t feel anything in particular. I mean… I get curious but I don’t want to start an argument over something like that.”

(Mrs. B): “Do you two argue a lot?”

(Henry): “It’s happening more since I moved in. He’s a very particular person… I have a hard time, following along I guess. I don’t know how to explain it..”

(Mrs. B): “That’s okay. When you say he’s particular, do you mean taking care of the home or just living in general?”

(Henry): "Things in general I guess. He can be really anal about being clean, leaving the house, or just you know anything I try to do by myself.” 

(Mrs. B): “Do you feel comfortable doing things without him?”

(Henry): “Yeah, but he doesn’t like when I try to go out without him. We got into a big fight when I drove to the store without telling him first.”

(Mrs. B): “What happened? When you say fight was it physical or just yelling?”

(Henry): “When I got back home… I was barely gone for 20 minutes and he screamed at me in the driveway. I got embarrassed because people might of saw so I tried to go into the house. I think he thought I was ignoring him or something. He… well he pushed me when I was walking away. I dropped a gallon of milk and it burst on the driveway.”

(Mrs. B): “He pushed you?”

(Henry): “Yeah I didn’t fall but I dropped the milk. That made him angry, he just had the driveway pressure washed so I felt bad.” 

(Mrs. B): “Has he pushed you before?”

(Henry): “A few times like if I’m not moving fast enough or I’m in his way… it’s not hard or anything just a little push (gesturing with his right hand).” 

(Mrs. B): “Does it bother you when he does things like that?”

(Henry): “Sometimes… like I was cooking once. He was talking about something but I wasn’t really paying attention. He asked me to repeat what he said and I couldn’t… that made him pretty mad and he pushed me and I knocked the pot over… I had got boiling water all over my thighs. It wasn’t a serious burn but it hurt pretty bad (laughs).” 

(Mrs. B): “Did he apologize?”

(Henry): “Oh? No (laughs) I mean it was my fault for not paying attention. He kept telling me to not stand so close to the stove when I was cooking too it was bound to happen one way or another…” 

(Mrs. B): “But it happened because he pushed you into it. He saw you cooking, he knew the stove was hot, and he still pushed you into it. Doesn’t that sound a bit strange to you?”

(Henry): “When you say it like that… it does. It was just an accident though. He wasn’t trying to make me burn myself.” 

(Mrs. B): “Is that what he told you?”

(Henry): “No… I mean… I just thought that. He didn’t say anything really.” 

(Mrs. B): “What did he do after he saw you get hurt?”

(Henry): “…”

(Long silence)

(Henry): “I don’t remember?”

(Mrs. B): “Is that a question?”

(Henry): “No! It was a long time ago so… I can’t remember what happened after that…” (Avoids eye contact). 

(Mrs. B): “When I asked you before if he got physically violent with you, you said no. Do you not consider this physical violence?”

(Henry): “I thought you meant like punching me or something…”

(Mrs. B): “Does he do anything to hurt you that’s not punching? Maybe even unintentionally?”

(Henry): “Not that I can think of… (rubs injured arm)”

(Mrs. B): “Can I list off some things and you just say yes or no if he’s ever done these things to you or if you’ve done these things?”

(Henry): “Okay… sure.” 

(Mrs. B): “Have you ever lied about how you’ve got an injury? Such a bruised, scratches or cuts?”

(Henry): “Um… yes I have.”

(Mrs. B): “Has Leon ever threatened to harm you?”

(Henry): “No.”

(Mrs. B): “Does he check on you often, like what you’re doing, where you’ve been? Does he think you're lying to him when you answer?”

(Henry): “Yeah, he likes to know what I’m up to. Sometimes he doesn’t believe me.”

(Mrs. B): “Has he destroyed any of your possessions? Or perhaps taken your belongings away from you?”

(Henry): “No… once he took my car keys, but he bought the car so it wasn’t really mine in the first place.” 

(Mrs. B): “Okay. Do you do things for him that you don’t like to avoid him hurting you?”

(Henry): “I um… I don’t know what that means.”

(Mrs. B): “You’ve said before you have sex when you don’t want to so he won’t yell at you. Is there anything else you do to avoid him getting angry?”

(Henry): “Oh… um yeah, I guess so.”

(Mrs. B): “Has he ever hit you?”

(Henry): “Once…”

(Mrs. B): “Just one time?”

(Henry): “Maybe twice… but not to hurt me. I was attacking him so he defended himself.”

(Mrs. B): “Attacking?”

(Henry): “Yeah. I felt corned and I started to kick him, so he did that but it was just a little slap… just to calm me down.”

(Henry): “Why did you feel corned?”

(Henry): “It was so long ago… I can barely remember now.”

(Henry): (Mrs. B): “… Are you ever scared of him?”

(Henry): “No.”(shifts in seat)

(Mrs. B): “Do you lie for him?”

(Henry): “…” 

(Henry): “In general… I guess. If we meet his friends he tells them I’m his nephew. I understand why though he doesn’t want people knowing all of his business.” 

(Mrs.B): “Does that bother you?”

(Henry): “I don’t think so… it can be weird sometimes, pretending in that way.” 

(Mrs.B): “Do you feel secure in your sexual orientation? Are you comfortable with people knowing your partner is also a man?”

(Henry):“Not really…”

(Mrs. B): “Why is that?”

(Henry): “I get confused sometimes. Only my dad knows about my relationship so when I’m not at home… I don’t feel…gay.” 

(Mrs. B): “How do you feel when you are not home? Are you attracted to women…?”

(Henry): “I see them at the office and I feel different looking at them than I do Leon…”

(Mrs. B): “Have you felt this way about other men?”

(Henry): “Umm, not really… it’s confusing.”

(Mrs. B): “Do you like men?”

(Henry): “… I’m not sure.” 

(Pause)

(Henry): “My lunch is almost over… um, can we schedule again for next week? I’ll try my best to keep the appointment this time.” 

(Mrs. B): “Of course. Until then it was good seeing you again.”

(Henry): Thanks, you too.” 

‘Beep’ ‘Click’