A Heart to Trade

The Encounter

The shadow of the coach was elongated upon the dusty road as the horses trotted beneath the morning sun. It had been one hour since Zane had originally set off, and he found that he still could not rest. He sat straight up against the velvet cushions, his thumb and index finger poised thoughtfully onto his chin. He was highly skeptical of how his visit would play out; abuse was a touchy subject for him, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to confront the Earl or Aminri. Either the boy would be frightened and battered, while the rest of the family would vehemently reject the accusations, or the boy would be completely unaffected and all that was stated was a lie. Both choices had a horrid outcome for Zane, and the man wasn’t sure if he quite liked the idea of staying the night once again at the Parselle estate. There was no turning back, though, for the view of the estate outside the coach window was appearing much quicker than he pleased.

Smoothing his trousers and fixing his jacket, Zane stepped outside into the crisp fresh air. A deep intake of breath swept through his nostrils, his chest rising as his deep blue eyes examined the mansion before him. Any maid would have done much better to Zane, but Claudia had been sent to greet him, as was shown by her quick emergence from the front door. She forced a smile as she neared him, slightly lifting her plain black skirt up as she bent her knees and bowed her head respectfully. Zane nodded his recognition and walked past her, silently sighing as he continued to head to the estate. The white tiles beneath him were blindingly illuminated by the sun, and so he found it hard to keep his eyes downcast. Just as Claudia had, the Earl came out from the front door dressed in a plain black suit. “Good morning, Lord Bennington. I do hope your ride was comfortable,” he called to Zane, his voice muffled by the distance.

Zane waited until he was closer before replying, “Yes, thank you…where is Ari?”

The Earl was taken back by the quick change of subject. He looked around nervously, as if expecting someone to interrupt, as he smoothed the front of his jacket. “We-well you see, something’s come up…and…”

Zane’s eyes narrowed. Had the claim been true after all? “Take me to him.”

The Earl jumped slightly, desperately wanting to say no. But he ended up nodding his head and motioned for Zane to follow him. The Earl walked slowly through the estate, intentionally taking a wrong turn or striking conversation with someone in the hall. Zane was trailing impatiently behind him, his mouth fixated into a displeased frown the whole time. When the two finally came close to Aminri’s room, Zane instantly recognized it and rushed into the inside, flinging the door open. As the hard wood slammed into the back wall, the man ran inside and looked about. In a corner of the room, just as he had remembered it, the bed sat. A large lump, veiled by a crisp white sheet, lay shifting about at the center of it, but as Zane neared the movement ceased. The Earl attempted to enter the room, but as he did Zane snapped, “Leave us be. I’ll meet you in the dining room to discuss things later.”

The Earl was silent, then nodded his understanding and closed the door as he left. A silent whimper sounded from beneath the blanket as a small opening was lifted by a small, pale hand. “Who’s there?” a soft, shaky voice asked.

“Ari? Is that you?” Zane replied, his voice intentionally low and soft.

The opening was immediately closed, the hand retreating back beneath the sheet. “Zane?” Ari asked, his voice muffled.

“Yes, Ari, it’s me.” The man reached out his hand to pull over the blankets, only to have Ari retreat to the back wall out of what seemed like fright and…pain? “Ari, it’s just me. Let me see you.”

“No! I-I mean, I’m fine. I just need some rest,” Aminri quickly retorted, gripping the sheet tighter.

Disturbed, the much stronger man effortlessly snatched the blanket away from the boy and threw it behind him. As the large white linen expanded and floated down behind the man, Ari let out a sharp gasp of surprise. To Zane, the world seemed to freeze at that very moment as he caught a glimpse of the boy’s face before Aminri covered it again. The raven haired man’s heart leapt into his throat, his face stone cold as he eyed the bruises that lined his fiance’s arms. They were emphasized by the boy’s sickly pale skin, even in the dimly lit room. Not believing his eyes, Zane sprinted to the window and threw open the curtains, allowing the bright sun to fill the room. His mouth fell slightly with disbelief at the sight before him.

Aminri shrunk into a corner of his bed at the light that streamed from the window. “Zane, please don’t look…”

With fists tightly clenched and eyebrows furrowed, a sudden fury arose in Zane at the utterance. The man firmly grasped Aminri’s fists and put them down, taking a good look at the boy’s face. What was once surprise was now replaced with expectancy, though Zane was still shocked at the swollen black eye and bandaged right cheek. “What happened to you?” he uttered a sharp whisper.

“I…I…” Aminri croaked, unsure of what to say.

“Come on, tell me. I’m sure you didn’t summon me here to simply gawk. Who’s been hurting you?!”

“I can’t tell you!” Aminri suddenly sobbed, hitting Zane’s muscular chest as hard as he could out of frustration.

Zane grasped his wrists again and scooted closer to the boy. “You must. What’s happened to you? Why are you like this? You told me over the phone, didn’t you?” Aminri was quiet. “Didn’t you?”

“I did…”

Zane exhaled, trying his best to calm down. He knew his frustration was only making the situation worse, and so he tenderly stroked Aminri’s head. “Ari, tell me.” He softened his voice. “I just want to help you.”

Aminri looked at Zane with his large hazel eyes. He said nothing, silently wording the name with his lips as tears filled his eyes. Hair…old. Zane subconsciously snapped, “Damn it!”

He stood to leave, hitting the bed post with his fist. “Zane! Zane, please don’t leave,” the boy pleaded.

“I’m only leaving for a bit, Ari, don’t worry.”

“I…I…” Aminri stuttered, not wanting to look foolish. “…I don’t want to be alone. He—he might come back! I haven’t seen him all day, luckily, but now that you’re here please don’t leave me!”

The boy whimpered as he grasped Zane’s jacket wildly. The man sighed and sat back onto the bed, thoroughly disturbed. Just what the hell was done to this boy? Although he was still quite attractive, Aminri’s once hauntingly lovely face had been terrifyingly marred. “Don’t you need some ice?”

“I-I had some this morning, but it all melted…” Aminri whispered, trembling.

“Let’s get you some more. I’ll only be a second, alright?” Zane smiled as the boy nodded slightly. The man stood and opened the door. “Hello?!”

A maid almost immediately responded to the call and shuffled quickly down the hall, the front of her skirt tightly gripped in her hands. “Yes, M’Lord?”

“Go get some ice for Lord Aminri. Do it quickly.”

“Of course, M’Lord,” the maid bowed and set off down the stairs.

Zane returned to the room, closing the door softly behind him. Aminri’s eyes were closed shut as he lay sprawled on the bed. For a moment Zane feared he had fallen asleep, but when he sat on the bed the boy almost immediately flew into his arms and snuggled into him. The man hesitated at first, but soon put his arms around the boy. It was only a few minutes before the maid returned with a bundle of ice wrapped in a towel. Zane thanked her and took the bundle. As she left, he gingerly pushed the boy down. “Lay down on the bed.”

Aminri flinched and backed away from him, shaking his head slowly. “Come on, Ari, just lay down.”

“Please, I don’t want to. I’ve already had enough,” the boy replied quietly, his voice broken and quivering.

“Ari? …no, Ari, I don’t mean that! Please, just lie down. It’s better for your eye. Trust me, I would know; this isn’t the first black eye I’ve encountered. I won’t do anything to you, I promise.”

Skeptical, Aminri eyed the bed, then Zane as he moved to get into position. Zane laid a pillow on top of another and gingerly helped Aminri rest his head on them. When the boy was finally settled, Zane put the cold bundle on his eye as he stroked his head. “Go on, get some sleep. You’ll feel much better after you rest.”

Aminri reluctantly complied, suspicious of what would happen after he closed his eyes. The boy found that he was much more tired than he had thought, and he fell almost immediately into a deep sleep.

Zane sighed heavily and ran a hand through his soft black hair. Although he had expected this much chaos, he was far from prepared for it. Although he cared for the boy’s safety, he was most concerned about how the boy’s trauma would end up affecting his happiness in the future. The boy’s reluctance would most definitely challenge his patience. He resented his selfishness, but he had to admit, it wasn’t going to get any easier. The man stayed with his fiancé for several minutes before deciding that he was asleep and headed out the door. He had a duty to fulfill.

Inhaling deeply, he walked down the stairs. With each step he took his confidence increased, and in only a matter of seconds his way was led by a heavy and intimidating stride. The maids that stood in his way retreated to the side and stared at him tensely. The expression on his face showed his burning ire as he headed to the dining room, with his jaw set and his fists clenched. Aminri’s tour from the first day had done him well, and soon the man found himself standing before the long, polished wooden table. The Earl was hidden behind the two flower bouquets that stood tall and distracting at the center. He hadn’t noticed Zane’s entrance, and sat immersed in a conversation with another man whose face was concealed by a spray of irises. The Earl seemed deeply discouraged and angry, just like Zane, as he seemed to rant at the other. But then the man he spoke to looked up and stood. Zane’s eyes widened, then narrowed at the sight, peering at the man through the brightly colored irises.

Harold gasped and fled to the dining room door. He swept by Zane so quickly that the man scarcely had a chance to stop him. “Earl Parselle!” Zane instead directed his attention at the man before him.

“Lord Bennington!” The Earl stood and smiled nervously. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong, you ask? Funny, because that’s exactly what I’d like to ask you! What is the meaning of this? My fiancé is up in his room covered in unsightly bruises of all sorts. I’d really love to hear a thorough explanation.”

The Earl rubbed his hands together and looked down. “Well…well, I’m not sure…”

“You’re not sure, now? So then I must assume you must take a very careful, watchful eye over your youngest children if you’re not sure Earl Parselle.”

“No, no! I know how he got that way. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I—I…I’m just not sure how it was done.”

“But you just said—“

“I mean I know who did it! I just didn’t see it happen. His older brother’s been spending a lot of time with him, lately. I’ve been out most of the day attending to many things, so I can’t oversee what they’re doing. Harold loves to rough-house, so I’m not surprised something like this would happen.” Zane opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted, “but it’s not just that! There was an incident yesterday, like I tried to explain.”

“And what exactly would that be?”

“Ari fell from his bedroom window last night. He didn’t get too badly injured, luckily, just hit his head. The bushes on the ground broke his fall. Thank goodness the gardener forgot to trim them yesterday…”

The over exaggeration in the Earl’s voice gave him away, leaving Zane to only cross his arms and raise his eyebrow. He wasn’t sure why the man even bothered trying. “Fine then, I’ll go speak to Harold about this. But hear me, Earl Parselle, if I get hold of anything that even remotely points to you being the abuser this contract is done,” Zane’s voice was brutal and cutting.

The Earl swallowed and nodded his understanding, his face deathly pale now and his forehead moist with sweat. Zane turned on his heel, shaking his head, and left the room without another word. He climbed up the stairs and down the very same hall, all the while intending on hunting the rat he sought down. “Zane?” a meek voice came from behind him.

Zane turned and was taken by surprise as Aminri flung himself into his arms. The man’s first intention was to throw the attacker back, but, realizing that this was not an ambush but an embrace, he relented. “Aminri, what is it? I thought you were asleep.”

“I—I was, for a bit, but then I woke up and…and when I did I was afraid that I had been dreaming the whole time and panicked. But now you’re here and…oh, where did you go?”

“I went to speak to your father,” Zane replied softly as he gently pushed the boy away. “Go back to your room, Ari. There’s something I have to do.”

“Stay with me, please! I can’t bear to be alone again!”

Zane withheld a sigh as he took the boy in his arms once again. “Alright, I’ll right, I’ll stay with you. Come now, stop trembling so much.”

Ari looked longingly up at the man, then at the floor as Zane lead him back to his room to rest. Aminri crawled onto the small twin bed and snuggled into the pillows as Zane closed the door, then joined him.

~ * ~ * ~

Zane was the first to wake the next morning, his body aching from the poor quality of the bed. Aminri lay sprawled on his bare chest, his arms gently wrapped around his fiancé’s neck, as he breathed slowly and steadily. The man carefully removed himself from under the boy and stared at the clock. 8:00, breakfast would be starting soon…

Zane retrieved his normal clothing from the bed stand and quickly dressed, throwing his sleeping trousers haphazardly across a chair that sat against the far wall. Wrapping his hand around the door knob, Zane took one final look at Aminri’s peaceful, sleeping face. “Wish me luck,” he whispered, and to his surprise Aminri (though indistinctly) murmured back.

He brushed the dust from the old bed standoff of his jacket and set off down the hall. When he first spotted a maid, he immediately pulled her aside, “Take me to Lord Harold’s room.”

Not knowing what to do, the girl looked back and forth between the ends of the hall, as if trying to figure out where it was. “Follow me, please,” she reluctantly replied.

The two’s footsteps echoed across the walls of the silent estate, not many having woken yet. Zane hoped that the man was one of them, not wanting to start a commotion in front of the entire family. When they arrived at their destination, a small cream colored door, Zane thanked her and sent her off once again. Zane closed his eyes for a moment as he smoothed back his hair and tried to breathe as steadily as he could. But when he heard a soft shuffling come from behind the door, his brief period of relaxation was interrupted and he knew that he had to finish this quickly. He knocked three times on the door. The shuffling stopped, then started again as the muffled patter of bare feet neared the entrance. Harold opened the door, irritatingly saying, “What is it?”

When he saw Zane standing there, he froze, then moved to the close the door once again. Zane was swift and much stronger as he held the door open by the wood, his eyes blazing. Harold grimaced, ugly and frustrated, as he uttered his tense reply, “What do you want?”

“You know very well what I’m here for.”

“Oh, well, I apologize for being so dim. Could you please enlighten me on this reason?”

“Your younger brother is in bed with a minor head injury and a body covered in unsightly bruises, and yet you still feign ignorance? You disgust me.”

Harold stood unaffected by Zane’s calm yet piercing attitude, his face stone cold. “And? Surely there’s more you wish to say. I am just as worried about my brother as you are, Lord Bennington, but I’m not sure as to why his injuries pertain to me.”

“Don’t lie,” Zane hissed as he pushed his way into Harold’s room, “I’ve heard you’ve been spending quite a lot of time with him lately.”

“I’m not sure what you--”

“Do you love your brother, Harold?”

“Of course I do! I--”

“I’m sorry to break this to you, but people who love each other don’t hurt each other. There are no exceptions to that rule, you do understand.”

Flustered, Harold snapped, “I love him! Even though I do rough-house with him. We’re brothers! It’s only natural!”

“Oh, but it’s very different than that, isn’t it?!” Zane stepped closer to him. “You’ve never quite felt the same about Aminri as you did, say, Bram, did you? No, you felt very different. It confused you, but then you realized: he wasn’t the same.”

“Shut up! You don’t know anything! You don’t understand what I’ve been through! What I did to get here!”

Zane grasped his collar and nearly lifted him into the air. “Don’t spout that bull! You think you’re the only one who’s felt different and out-casted? Well come back to reality! I probably know about that more than you ever will! You think it’s easy growing up in love with your best friends? And then when you tell them they end up being disgusted by you? We’re in the same boat!”

“Don’t you go comparing yourself to me! You don’t know love!”

“You don’t know love! Beating someone into a bloody pulp isn’t love. Pushing them into a fear crazed submission isn’t love. Driving them to suicide isn’t fucking love! So don’t stand they’re telling me you know more about it than I d—”

The Earl, hearing the commotion, walked curiously down the hall to Harold’s room. But as he heard what the two men were saying he stopped and only listened. In the meanwhile, Harold lunged himself at Zane. The taller man dodged his attack with ease, only stepping once to the side. He grabbed hold of Harold and threw him back to the other side of the room, his body hitting the ground with a loud thud. When the blonde was on the floor, coughing and cringing, he strained to speak, “I’ve always been in love with my brother. Since we were children. And when he gradually grew older, I only came to love him more and more. But then I finally told him a year ago and he only stared at me! Then he said he was ‘sorry, so sorry,’ and that he ‘didn’t return the feeling!’ Can you believe that?”

“I can, actually. Aminri’s quite a remarkable boy, if that’s what he really said,” Zane said quietly as he looked back and sighed. “You are the most foolish man I’ve ever met, Harold Parselle. Your folly might just get yourself killed one day.”

With that Zane turned back around and headed down the hall. Harold stood to stop him, his face bright red with his fury. At first he hadn’t seen him, with Zane’s back blocking his view from the ground, but as the man continued to leave he was finally revealed. The Earl stood bewildered, shocked into a frozen stance at the very center of the hall, his eyes squinty and his face eerily pale. “Earl Parselle, I apologize, but I believe I’m going to have to fetch Aminri and leave earlier. The train ticket I have says it leaves at 9:30.”

The Earl uttered no reply, only nodding as he stayed staring at his eldest son. Zane bowed respectfully at the man, thanking him for the homeliness he showed him. He returned down the hall, sighing and rubbing his neck. Although he completed his goal successfully, he felt no accomplishment. Only the daunting emotion that he had ruined yet another person’s life.

He closed the door to Aminri’s room behind him and felt relieved to find the boy still sleeping. With the room’s distance away from Harold’s, Ari must not have heard the commotion like the Earl. “Ari, I believe it’s time to wake up.”

The boy woke instantly, groaning softly as he smoothed down his messy hair. “But what about breakfast? Did I already miss it?”

“No, but we have to leave for the train soon.”

“When does it leave?”

Zane handed him the thick paper ticket. Below numerous other things that Aminri didn’t quite understand, the time said “11:30.” “I…I don’t think we have to leave quite yet, Zane…” Aminri quietly said.

Zane packed his things quickly. “I hope you’ve already got everything you need packed, Ari,” he replied, ignoring the statement.

“Y-yes, but…can I at least say goodbye to everyone, first?”

The man paused. He hadn’t thought of that… “Alright, go. I’ll be in here.”

Aminri nodded and left down the stairs; although he wasn’t exactly welcomed by the family he thought it was the right thing to do. When he went into the dining room, he was surprised to see his step mother and Bram sitting there, both silent as they sipped their water and waited for the Earl. The Earl’s wife was the first to notice him, sitting up straighter and looking him straight in the eyes. “Good morning, Ari.”

“Ah, good morning. I…” he stopped. Both of the others were staring at him, now, wondering what was going on. “I’m here to say goodbye.”

“You’re leaving?” she replied. “Already?”

“Yes…Zane said that we should, at least.”

The woman stood and walked over to him. At first Aminri was afraid that he had done something wrong and backed one step away. But she only laid her hand on his shoulder. “Well then…this quite sudden.” She sighed. “It’s been nice having you here. You’ve been a great help in this house, although your father won’t admit it. Good luck, I do hope you find happiness with the Benningtons.”

Aminri was touched by her words, never having heard words like those spoken to him before. The boy struggled to compose himself as tears filled his eyes, ignoring Bram’s silent, apathetic wave goodbye.

They’re conversation was interrupted by the screech of old hinges as the door was opened. The Earl entered the dining hall, his face downcast and his eyes cold. Bram stood eagerly, not wanting to wait for a second to share his newest discovery. “Father! I have something to tell you!”

“What?” his father snapped, his voice hoarse.

“It’s about Harold--!”

The Earl let out a disgusted exclamation as he toppled a nearby chair over. Aminri nodded at him and ran out of the room, not wanting to remain there anymore now that the warmness had been soiled. He returned to his room, where Zane was waiting patiently on the bed. At the first sight of the boy, Zane leapt off of his seat and went towards him, not wanting to stay in the dreadful estate any longer. He had already created enough tension, and he didn’t want to see the outcome. “Where are your suitcases? Let’s get out of here.”

“Why are we rushing? We have plenty of time.” Zane didn’t reply, only rummaging about the room in search of Aminri’s things. “…they’re in the closet. The two brown bags.”

Zane stopped, then went to the closet and searched. Indeed, inside two old, tattered bags sat at the bottom in darkness. He grabbed them, then his own bag, and headed out of the room. “Come, let’s go. Your father’s already readied the coach for us.”

Aminri almost asked again, but, realizing that Zane wasn’t going to tell him, he decided not to. Instead, he quietly followed behind the much taller man, wondering if he should help him with the bags. “Should…should I grab—”

“No.”

“Alright…”

Aminri walked closely to Zane, fearing that Harold would appear any moment. But from the moment they left the bedroom to the moment they arrived at the front door, the young man had not shown himself. It was almost as if he wasn’t there at all. The two men were greeted by a coachmen dressed in black, who opened the coach door for them as he nodded. Zane handed his bags to him and hopped in eagerly, holding out his hand to Aminri. The boy took it gratefully and placed his foot on the coach.

With a sharp strike of the reigns the coach took off down the dusty road. Aminri was flung back against the seat, taken by surprise at the sudden movement. “Are you alright?” Zane laughed.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Aminri quickly replied, embarrassed.

Aminri looked back at the estate through the window, not wanting to talk more about his folly. The sun was bright and blinding in the sky above it, making it seem like a fleeting memory as it got smaller and smaller with the growing distance. The boy stared in wonder at the speed it was leaving him. It had taken years for him to gain the freedom him and his brother had longed for, and somehow it felt odd. A great emptiness filled him. His brother…he hadn’t seen him in forever. When he had first gone missing he was stricken with grief, somehow knowing that Detra wouldn’t survive by himself. But in the past year he had forgotten all about him, as if he had been an imaginary friend of sorts. He felt he had betrayed his brother, at first for riding to freedom when Detra had most likely died, then for forgetting him altogether. And then…he felt nothing. It was Detra’s fault for leaving in the first place. His fault for abandoning Aminri. He would have never been trapped with Harold or his friends if he had just stayed. He wouldn’t have to depend on Zane, a man he was being forced to marry, either. The trauma that he knew would never leave him…it was his fault.

He sighed and rested his head on the cushion, watching Zane from the corner of his eye. Everything had happened so quickly it was unreal to him. They were moving ever farther from the estate, and in it remained Harold. For a brief, peaceful moment Aminri had nothing to fear. But as the feeling retreated, the memories of his time at the estate came rushing back to him and he knew he would never be the same again.


-----

The review reply thread has been created and is up on my profile, now.