Just To Make Things Worse -- Complete

Riley paced the distance between the couch and the door, his arms over his chest. Anna stood by the recliner, her hand hovering an inch above Lucas’s shoulder, unsure as to whether or not she should touch him. Lucas himself kept his eyes on David, who was hunched over on the couch, his face in his hands. No one spoke for a very long time.

Finally, Riley made an impatient growling sound and spun on David. “He wants to hear it, David.”

David looked up at Lucas, who folded his arms and rose an eyebrow. “Okay, Lucas.” David whispered. “I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to think about it. But you’re right. I’ve kept secrets for too long. I’ve made Riley keep it for me, and I know that it’s wrong.” He glanced at Riley. “It’s been five years.”

Riley nodded. “You need to tell him.” He said. “You need to get rid of this. For both of us.”

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” Lucas snarled. “Five years ago you were thirteen, maybe fourteen. What could you have possibly done that is so fucking terrible?“

“Tell him about Katie.” Riley suggested, and David shot him a dirty look. “That’s where it started.”

“It ended there, too.” David said quietly, and Riley rolled his eyes.

“It’s not ended, David.” Riley pointed out. “It’s never going to end.”

“Shut the fuck up already!” Lucas shouted, and Riley flinched. “I’m so sick of you.” He glared at Riley. “As far as I’m concerned, after I’m done dealing with David I have every intention of putting your lying, meddling ass in the hospital, so don’t make this worse.”

Riley’s smile suggested that Lucas was being funny, and David could tell that this pissed Lucas off even more. “Katie was the girl who lived next door to the foster home Riley and I were in together.” He said, bringing Lucas’s attention back to him. “I was thirteen when they placed me with that family… they were really the only family I was with that treated me okay.” Riley nodded his agreement. “Riley and I got really close very quickly. You know he was-“

“I don’t want to hear it again.” Lucas snapped.

David nodded. “I’m sorry.” He paused, frowning, and rubbed at his temples with his fingers. “Riley was fifteen. Our birthdays are three weeks apart, mine comes first. I turned fourteen, and then Riley turned sixteen and left right after.”

“Something happened in between our birthdays, though.” Riley said, ignoring Lucas’s murderous glare. “I wasn’t the only one that David got close to. Was I, David?”

David sighed. “Katie and I spent a lot of time together. She was in between Riley and I, age wise. Her parents worked a lot, so she spent a lot of time at our house.” He paused again, looking miserable and sick and guilty. “She would come over and spend the night sometimes.” He added softly.

“About two, maybe three weeks before David’s birthday, they got a little too close.” Riley wasn’t smiling anymore; he sounded angry. “A couple days after his birthday, she came over, freaking the hell out at him, crying.”


He covered his face again for a moment, and when he looked back up, he was crying. “Katie got pregnant.”

“There wasn’t exactly a question about who had knocked her up.” Riley said, looking at David carefully. “I suppose that isn’t so bad, all things considered. Teenage pregnancy isn’t a big deal anymore, is it? Although thirteen and fourteen is pretty damn young, even for nowadays.” he looked away from David. “But when David, found out…”

“I don’t want to hear this.” Anna burst out. They all looked at her. She was crying. “I don’t want hear what you did, David.” She snapped at him. “I can already make the connection. You’re violent, David, and you always have been. I can’t-“

“The kid’s alive.” Riley cut in, and Anna looked at him, wide eyed. “When Katie ended up pregnant they shipped her off to a family that takes care of teenage girls with babies. We don’t know anything after that.”

“So what’s the huge secret?” Lucas asked. “What did you do?”

David and Riley exchanged quick, guilty looks. “When she came over freaking out, we got into a huge fight. I didn’t want her to be pregnant, I couldn’t…” he shook his head and put his hand over his eyes. “You’re right, Anna. About me. I’m violent. I always have been.” He looked at Lucas, who wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I pushed her down the stairs.” David said, and Anna whimpered. “When that didn’t work-”

Lucas was on his feet and out of the room before anyone could react. David closed his eyes, listening to him storm upstairs. A few moments later, he went past the living room again, dressed, and slammed the front door on his way out so hard, the mirror tipped over and smashed on the floor.

Anna turned and stalked out after Lucas, her heels crunching in the broken mirror.

David sighed. “Are you happy now, Riley?” he asked him. “It’s over. Like you said, one way or the other.”

Riley sat down on the recliner. “I didn’t want to do this to ruin things, David. I can’t live with it anymore. I found Katie, and-“

David made a growling, hissing sound. “I don’t want to hear about this.” He snarled.

“You need to.” Riley snapped. “I found her, David. She gave the kid up for adoption.” He saw the look on David’s face and shook his head. “No, listen. The kid’s got a good home, good parents. I swear it. Katie’s okay, too. She wanted me to find you. She wanted to know if you were okay.”

“Why would she care? Doesn’t she hate me? I tried to fucking kill her!”

“You were a fucking kid, David. You were barely fourteen. You had problems. She gets it.”

“Then why don’t you get it?” David asked him, scowling. “I want to forget this. I want to pretend none of it ever happened.”

“You don’t deserve that luxury.” Riley said, and stood up. “And neither do I. Up until now, you’ve never had anyone who loved you enough to pass on judgment worthy of what you did. Now that you have Lucas, this is what needed to be done.”

“I would’ve told him.” David said, ignoring Riley’s skeptical snorting sound. “It was too early. We haven’t… we have enough problems. I didn’t want to do this.” He pushed his hair back. “I could lose Lucas over this.”

Riley glared at him, his hands in fists at his sides. “You don’t deserve this, David.” He growled. “You don’t deserve to be happy, to live a normal life. Neither of us do. It’s not fair.”

“Fair?!” David lunged across the room and grabbed Riley by the front of the shirt with his free hand. “You come into my fucking life and destroy everything I’ve worked to build for myself, and you want to talk about fair?”

Riley smirked. “I hope Lucas never comes back to you.” He hissed. “I hope you’re alone, just like me, for the rest of your fucking life.”

“You’re a fucking lunatic.” David told him. “As if that wasn’t bad enough, you have to go and fuck up everyone’s life. Mine, Lucas’s, fucking dragging Anna into this. People aren’t fucking toys, Riley.”

“Anna was just a past time.” He told him. “I’d hoped this would take longer, but your boyfriend isn’t exactly patient. All my plans, ruined, because he’s a light sleeper. Don’t you get it?” he shoved David away from him. “You and I, we’re alike. All this time, you’ve been trying to live a life you can’t keep up with. We’re supposed to-“

“Stop it.” David cut him off. “Just, shut the fuck up. Did you really think I would go along with you after this? What do you want? For me to go with you? You’re out of your fucking mind.” He ran his free hand through his hair. “I always thought I cared about you, you know. I thought you and I had something, because of what we went through together. I did miss you, all this time. But I was fucked up for thinking that you had changed.”

“People never change.” Riley said. “Not even you.”

“Maybe you’re right.” David nodded. “Because I certainly want to push you down a flight of stairs right now.” He pointed at the door. “Get out, Riley. Leave. Before things get a lot worse. I’ve lost enough today. Beating the fuck out of you would be like poetic justice.”

Riley was out in fifteen minutes. He was almost to the highway when Anna pulled up beside him in David’s truck. He stopped, unsure whether he should approach or not. Finally, she rolled down the window and yelled, “Get in, Riley. Please.”

He did as she asked, letting Giles jump up into the space behind the seats first. Anna drove in silence for a while; he wasn’t sure where they were headed.

“Why did you do all this?” she asked, after a good fifteen minutes. “Why did you decide to find him, to bring this all up? Do you think you had a right?”

“I think David had no right to what he had.” Riley told her. “When we first started talking, I was excited to be in contact again. But when he told me about Lucas, I knew that I had to come here.”

“You wanted this to happen.” He nodded. “Why? Because you think David’s a bad person?”

“Don’t you think he is?”

She sighed and didn’t answer. Instead, she asked, “Why did you pull me into this? Why did you act interested if you were just going to ruin everything?”

He grinned. “Stop the truck, Anna.” He told her, and she pulled off onto the shoulder. “I needed something to do while I waited.” He explained, and she looked like he’d just slapped her in the face. “I’d planned on getting you into bed before all of this happened, but things got a little messed up. We can get a motel, if you want to clear the air of it, but it wasn’t like I was going to stick around for you.”

She punched him, as hard as she could. She heard a dull, muffled snap, and wondered as pain raced through her arm if she’d broken his nose or her knuckles. His head snapped back, blood pouring down his mouth, and bounced off the window. She cradled her hand to her chest. “Get the fuck out of the truck before I kill you.”

She watched him walk down the road, her hand hurting so bad her vision was blurry. She’d obviously broken something in there, but the slant of his nose had proved she had in fact done some serious damage. When he was just a speck, she drove to the hospital. To her, it was worth the cast.
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Two Months Later

Anna shut the front door with her heel and shifted the paper bags in her arms. They were heavy, and she was annoyed. “Lucas!” she yelled. “Come and help me with your damn groceries!”

There was no answer, so she stomped into the kitchen, grumbling to herself. She had been staying with Lucas at his father’s for the last two months, and they’d started talking about moving out together; she’d already bought herself a car, and had been looking at apartments closer to the city.

She was halfway through putting the groceries away when she saw the note tacked to the fridge.

Anna,
I have to go see him. I’m sorry. I’ll be back later.
Lucas

She ripped the note off the fridge, crumpling it in her hand, and threw at the garbage can. She missed, but she didn’t see that. She was already running to the car again.

When she pulled into David’s driveway, Lucas was sitting on the stairs, his elbows on his knees. Anna didn’t see the truck. She got out, stuffing the keys into her coat pocket, and walked over to Lucas.

“He’s gone.” Lucas told her quietly. “He moved.”

“What?” Anna didn’t understand. “Why would he just move?”

Lucas looked at her as though she was very stupid. “Anna, I never came back. I never spoke to him again.” He gestured behind him, at the front door. “The place is empty. There’s a for sale sign, over there.” He pointed at the lawn, and Anna glanced at the sign. “He’s just… gone.”

“Why did you come here?” she asked, and sat beside him. “What did you think would happen?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know.” He admitted. “I’m tired of it, Anna. I wake up, and I think about him. I spend all day walking around thinking about him. I dream about him.” He sighed. “I know what he did was…” he trailed off, and Anna kept her mouth shut, despite all the things she wanted to say. “I miss him.” Lucas said finally, and put his face in his hands.

Anna put her arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. “Things will get better.” She told him. “But you have to let this all go.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Neither do I.” Anna told him honestly. “But you have to try. David’s gone. You’re going to have to live with that. If he left, then he thinks it’s over for good. You need to think that, too.”

He hugged her, and they were quiet for a long time. Finally, Lucas pulled away and stood up. “How did things get so fucked up?” he asked her, and she sighed and stood as well. “How did I lose all of this?”

“Bad things happen. Sometimes what you want isn’t what you get.” Anna sounded bitter, and Lucas looked at her, miserable. She smiled. “It’s okay. I’m so over you, honey.”

He tried to smile, but failed. “When will I get over him, then?”

She laughed. “I wanted you for five years, but I got over you in six months.”

He groaned. “I was with David for four months… does that mean it’ll take me years?”

“Maybe.” She said honestly. “I don’t know. No one does. But you will, eventually.”

“I wish I had seen him again.”

“I don’t. It would’ve made it worse.”

He shrugged. “I regret all of it. Even being with him. It hurt.”

“That’s part of it. Misery.”

“First ‘m’ of love, I know.” Lucas muttered, quoting one of Anna’s favorite authors. She smiled at him held out the car keys. “What’s this?”

“Go home. I’m going to go for a walk.” She leaned up, and he bent down so she could kiss his cheek. “Go put the groceries away. I left half of them on the counter.”

She watched him drive away, and when she knew he was gone, she turned and started walking. It took almost half an hour to get to the motel. She found room 19 and knocked, hunching her shoulder against the February wind. After a third knock, David answered the door.

They stood by the window together, watching as it began to snow. “He wants to see you.” She said quietly, and David closed his eyes. “He misses you.”

“I can’t.” he muttered. “I just can’t.”

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“I don’t know yet. Away.” He shrugged.

“You’ve spent these last weeks pining for him, and now you’re leaving. Why?” she looked at him, saw the haggard, tired look of him, the signs of weight loss, the paleness. She sighed. “Maybe you can work it out with him.”

“I don’t deserve him, Anna.” He told her flatly. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“So you’ll just run away?”

“Yes.”

“You’re a bastard.”

“I know.” He nodded. “Give me some tips, Anna. How did you get over him?”

She laughed. “Please. I’m not over him.” She’d lied earlier, to Lucas, she part of her knew he understood the lie, and understood why she needed to believe it. But standing here, beside David, she couldn’t make herself say it. She realized it was nice to say it to someone who wouldn’t look at her with pity.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“For what?” she asked. “That I’m pathetic? That you’re running away? That you ruined him?” she shrugged. “I’ll pick up the pieces, David. I’ll take care of him.”

“He can’t love you.”

“No. Not the way I want him to. But I’m okay with what we are.” She watched David light a cigarette, and plucked it from between his fingers to take a hit. He watched her, grinning a little. “Besides,” she said, handing the cigarette back. “He needs me. He doesn’t want me, but he does need me. I take care of him. He knows that I always will. He and I both know that it’ll take longer for him to heal with me around. He can stay broken, because it’s safe, and I won’t leave.”

David shook his head. “That’s manipulative as fuck, Anna.”

She smiled. “Of course it is, David. That’s the second ‘m’ of love.” She walked past him, towards the exit.

“What’s the third?” he asked as she opened the door.

She turned and kissed his cheek. “Masochism.” She told him. “You have to be one to want to be in love.” She laughed. “Just look at me.”
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A/N. So. Now we need to have a little chat. Turns out that this story, well… it’s over. Yea. I know. Don’t hit me. However. It’s not REALLY over, we’re just taking a little trip through time. Okay, it’s a pretty big trip. What I’m saying is that I’m going to STOP updating this story, and begin another, with a different title. It’s going to be set later, and there’s a HUGE surprise for you right at the beginning. Can anyone guess what it is? Hmmmmmmmmm? Look closer at this last chapter; I’ve already TOLD you what it is. No? Okay, go read the next story and find out.

The story I’m putting up is called “Ghosts of The Heart” and it’s the final installment of the drama roller coaster that is David and Lucas’s relationship. What’s gonna happen, you ask? Guess you’ll just have to read it to find out! Hahahahahahaha.