Love Will Come Through

The next day, he woke up when his alarm went of. After turning it of, he stared at the ceiling, before he brought his hand up to rub his eyes. He had slept terrible.
God -
A dream had caught him, and he had a bad nightmare about Noreen. She had gone to see Paul. He didn’t understand why. She had gone to Paul, and told him what he had done. Paul had laughed very hard when he saw him. Paul couldn’t believe he had fallen in love with one of his students. He sighted
With my behavior -He must already know it-
He got out of bed very stiffly and slowly. He had slept terrible. He had felt a sick making feeling in his body during the night, which kept him out of his sleep.
Well - I will notice today what she has done about it -
He began to dress slowly. He skipped the bathroom as he didn’t feel like shaving or anything. He also didn’t eat, as he felt too sick to do so. He grabbed his bag and left the house.
Once outside he saw the weather was the same as yesterday, but it wasn’t raining. The air was grey and there was a cold breeze. He closed his coat as he walked down the stairs of the tub. He bought a cup of coffee at the paper stand and took the first train. Drinking his coffee, he sat silently until he reached the station he had to get out. He finished his coffee and threw the empty cup in the waist bin.
He reached the school building, but he didn’t enter. He sat down on the steps and took out his package of cigarettes. He opened the box and stared down at it. Eventually he took one out and lighted it. He sat on the steps for minutes, as more and more colleagues entered the building, walking past him and greeting him. But he didn’t greet them back. He didn’t want too.
After he had finished his cigarette, he kept sitting on the steps. He didn’t feel like teaching today, but he knew he had too. He stared at the ground.
She will hate me - She will - And she was so nice - And I’m sure she liked me as well - God why did I do that?
He brought his hands to his hair and supported his head on them. Than, he saw a pair of Adidas trainers appear on the ground
Oh God -Paul -
’Something wrong, Chris?’ he heard Paul say. He looked up and looked at his brother. He rubbed his face quickly.
‘No’ he said. ‘Just slept terrible’
Again, not a lie -
But he always felt bad when he couldn’t tell his brother the truth. Paul looked concerned at him
‘Are you sure?’ he said as he sat down on the steps next to him. ‘You look pale. You haven’t been sleeping well for a few days?’ he added and Chris rubbed his face.
'No I haven't' he said through his hands. He actually felt relieved. He wasn't lying. 'Don't worry' he said as he lowered his hands 'It will go over'
I doubt that -
But he actually didn’t feel like talking, although he felt sure to tell his brother exactly what happened.
Maybe later -
He got up, not looking at his brother as he took the last few steps up. ‘I’m going to see my class’ he muttered. He could hear how Paul got up as well. Without saying anything, he entered the school and went for his classroom at once. When he entered the classroom, he putted on the lights before he went over to his desk. He threw his bag on the ground and let himself fall into his chair. He stared around for a moment. The class was still empty. But in a few minutes, all the students would enter.
And I need to talk to her - Maybe ask her to have a conversation - Make an appointment -
He buried his face again and sighted deeply. He knew he would be teaching her class today. Would she be there? What if she felt afraid of him now? When the bell rang, he could hear how hundreds of feet where carrying their owners to their classrooms. He looked up at the door and saw how the students of 10B were entering the classroom. He kept looking at the door, hoping to see how Noreen entered the classroom. But she didn’t. He recognized al the students, but he didn’t saw Noreen.
Oh God - She’s not coming?
He watched how the last student closed the door.
She isn’t here -
He watched how the class settled down. To his great relieve he saw they all had brought their books.
He got up and scanned the class again.
She really isn’t here -
He ordered the class to make the rest of the assignments he had given them yesterday and than he took his iPag. He began to register the absent students.
‘Er-…’ he asked the girl that was the nearest to his table. ‘Noreen’s not here?’ She shrugged and didn’t even look up from her work, like she didn’t care. He frowned. He looked around the classroom again.
God - What do they have against her -?
He sighted and registered her name.
I’m sorry.
He spent the rest of the lesson, thinking about Noreen
Is she skipping my class? Or isn’t she at school at all -?
He than swallowed.
Or maybe she went to Bianca - Telling her what I’ve done - And she’s not allowed to go to my class.
Bianca was the headmistress. He had known her for a while, even before he had came to teach here. He’d had a short relation with her, before he had ditched her out of his house. A few years later, she had hired him to teach here, which had actually been very nice. A few years ago though, he and Bianca had made a little slip. They had made out in her office, and even had sex there, although Bianca was married! He still felt quite guilty, and so did Bianca. No one knew about this, only Paul did.
The bell rang, and Chris he a start. He watched how the class started to leave
I need to talk to her - I need to know how she feels -
He got up and grabbed his bag. He swung it over his shoulder and left the classroom with the students.
He dumped his bag in the staffroom and went for Bianca’s office at once. She was there, drinking coffee with someone’s parents. He swallowed again.
Is that - No can’t be - Her mother died -
When Bianca saw him through the window of the door she smiled and waved at him. He waved back
I guess not - So she doesn’t know -
He walked towards administration and leaned against the desk, waiting for Jane, the administrator lady to see him.
‘Hello, Chris’ she said as she leaned against the desk as well. ‘Can I help you?’
He forced a smile. ‘Yes, I would like to see Noreen Williams register file’
Jane nodded and nudged him inside. He walked around the desk and was pushed in front of a computer.
‘Go ahead’ she said and walked away, towards her own desk. He began to search and soon found Noreen’s profile. It contained all the information he needed.
Her home address.
He took a pos-tit and wrote her address on it quickly. He than looked at the rest of the profile. He found a page on which he could view al her school pictures through the years.
Although he felt terrible, he couldn’t help but grin. He watched how a small, dark blonde haired girl changed into a young, black haired woman. He saw all the six pictures through the years.
God - She is - really beautiful -
He heard how Jane got up from her desk, so he closed Noreen’s profile.
-‘Got everything?’ she asked as he got up, the post-it sticking on his finger.
‘Yes’ he said. He thanked Jane and left the office.
Back in the staff room, he hesitated. He watched all his colleagues for a moment, they were all talking and drinking coffee. He leaned against the wall and took his iPaq from his back. He quickly checked which class Noreen would have had next. It was science.
The bell rang and he putted the iPaq back in his bag. He waited five minutes until he was sure the class would be in the science classroom. He left the staffroom and walked over to the science classroom. He peered inside, through the window. He had expected this.
No Noreen -
He made up his mind and went back to Administration, and called himself sick. He arranged all the classes would be canceled. He bade Jane goodbye, who wished him ‘Get well’ He nodded and left the school.
He checked the address again and recognized it. It was near Paul’s apartment, so he knew which tub he had to take. He entered the underground and took the first train towards the station near Noreen’s.

A few minutes later, he left the tube again, and stood in the street in which Noreen lived. He checked the post-it with the address again. He had to walk a few blocks, past Paul’s apartment, but he brother was still at school. A few blocks further, he reached the house he had been looking for.
Oh God -
He walked towards the door. He wanted to ring the bell but withdrew his hand. He opened his bag and took out a pile of essays he had received today. He than rang the bell
He waited until the door was opened. A man stood there.
Must be her father -
'Can I help you?' the man asked.
Chris first didn't know what to say, but he spoke rather nervous: 'My name is Chris Hammond' he said and he held up the papers he had taken out of his bag. He saw some movement behind the man and him and at once recognized is was Noreen.
Oh God - She really did stay home -
'I'm Noreen's English teacher' he added. 'She missed important information today, so I'd thought I could bring it to her.' He looked at Noreen again, who looked shocked.
'Is that true? Is he your teacher?' her father looked behind himself at Noreen.
'Er-…yeah, he - yes.' she stuttered and looked back at Chris.
'Strange what you teachers do these days - ' Noreen’s father mumbled at him. ‘Come in then.' he said and stepped aside. As he stepped in, he kept his eyes on Noreen, who seemed very pale and on the verge of fainting.
Oh God - What have I done - I should never - But that's why I'm here - I need to talk to her -
'I actually don't know what she has -' her father said as he closed the door and gestured him inside the sitting room. 'I hope she didn't miss much?' he asked, now smiling again, being totally normal and almost cheerful as he looked at his daughter who didn't move an inch. 'What's wrong with you? Go and get your teacher something to drink!' he than snapped. Chris raised his eyebrows at the sudden reaction of the other man. Noreen hardly nodded and almost ran to the kitchen. Noreen’s father placed a hand on his shoulder and led him to the sofa that stood in the sitting room. 'Well then. How's Noreen at school?'
He swallowed as he looked at Noreen's father.
’Oh, she didn't miss much' he said with a rather croaked voice.
Calm down -
'Er-…' he stuttered, but restrained himself again. 'Oh she's very good' he said with a enthusiastic smile. 'This is the first year I'm teaching her, but I noticed straight away she was a few steps higher than the rest of the class' he felt terrible nervous. He had to get a chance to talk to Noreen in private.
Not with him - That would certainly not be a good idea -
Noreen returned with two glasses of water, and sat down in a chair that stood near the dining table.
'Well, good to hear she's not messing it up as always.' Her father said. 'I'll make sure she goes to school tomorrow again, as you can see she doesn't seem to be very ill. Right, Noreen?'
She looked up, but just looked at her father, eyes slightly watery. He could see that at once. Suddenly, she jumped up and ran up the stairs. Chris had got up his feet at once, as an impulse. He had to stop himself from following her at once. Noreen’s father had gotten up as well.
‘Noreen!’ he shouted up, and they both could hear a door slam.
'Sir' he said before her father would go upstairs. 'Do you mind if I'd talk to her?'
This is - He might suspect -
'I won't be staying long' he added quickly. 'I just need to give her an explanation about this' he said as he pointed at the papers he was still holding.
The man agreed.
'Okay, do that - And I'm sorry for her behavior.' he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. 'I don't know what's wrong with her.'
I do - I know what's wrong with her -
But he didn't say this of course. He just nodded. He walked past her father and walked up the stairs. Noreen's father called up which door it was, so he followed his directions and found the door. He gently knocked it. 'Noreen?' he asked.
'W-what?' Noreen said, almost demanding
Oh God - What have I done -
'Noreen' he said, but lowered his voice as he went on: 'I think we need
to talk'
We have to - Let me at least apologize -
’Could you please open the door??' he added.
She opened the door, and looked at him with an angry frown.
'I-… why did you even come here?' she said, frowning and still 'You could have - wait until I-…'
’I couldn’t’ he said. ‘I needed to see you…’ he had said it before he had thought about it, so he quickly added: 'I need to talk to you' he now said, almost more demanding
You need to know - I need to explain better than yesterday
She looked on the verge of crying, and he was sure she had been crying before she had opened the door. 'Please let me come in' he said as he looked at the stairs, afraid her
father would hear them. She hesitated, took a deep breath before she stepped aside to let him in. he got in and he gently closed the door behind him. He looked around her room. She had red wallpaper, and the sheets of her bed were black. There were some posters of rock artist and actor on the walls. It looked quite normal for a girl her age. Accept for the large amount of books she had standing in the book case. He could see a laptop on the desk, which was buried under a large amount of papers. He turned around to look at Noreen. He lowered his bag, so he didn't have to keep holding it.
'Listen' he said as he looked at her, still keeping a bit of distance as he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. 'I-I'm really sorry about yesterday' he stuttered a bit.
'I didn't know what I was doing I-' He stopped for a moment
Should I tell her - That I've never - Never felt?
He thought it was better to do so, so he could explain it as good as possible.
'I've never felt like this before' he added. 'I mean - I-'
God this is embarrassing -
'I've never been in love'
He could almost hit himself. He had said it. He had said why he had kissed her. He had just said it. She frowned at him even more, like he had something insane.
Well I have, haven’t I?
'Seriously?' she said, as her eyes started to be watery, and he even felt more terrible. ‘Sir, I - I don't know how to handle this, okay?' she suddenly blurted out. 'You're my bloody teacher, I have no fucking idea what I - God -' she took a deep breath again and looked up to the ceiling, not knowing what to do.
'I know' Chris said at once. 'You are my student, and that is why it's confusing me' he said as he gestured with his hands like he always did when he explained something, whether it was in front of a class, or in a private conversation. Like now. 'I know I shouldn't have - done that' he said. 'It was stupid, but Noreen you have to understand it was not my intention to do it'.
Although it was - Admit it - You wanted it -
'I want you to be comfortable, Noreen' he added.
I saw how he was - And I'm sure I didn't saw everything yet -
He looked at her for a moment. 'Listen' he said again. 'If you want too, I can arrange another teacher for your class for the rest of the year'.
Although I don't want to -
Noreen shook her head almost at once. 'This is not going to help - ' she said, feeling slightly irritated by everything. 'I mean, I know where you live, you know where I live, we'll see us every day at school, if you're teaching me or not - '
he nodded. He knew she was right, but giving the class to another teacher would help. He would at least see her less than he was doing right now.
But of course, he didn’t want to handle over her class. He wanted to see her as much as possible, even though it would be bad for his behavior in the class. He felt a bit relieved she didn't want him to arrange a different teacher. But he knew it would be complicated to still teach her. He couldn't just ban these feelings, and he actually didn't want too.
'Alright' he said softly
I must have disappointed her - I still want to comfort her -
'Listen' he said again. 'Y-You can still talk to me if you want too. But I don't think it would be wise if you would visit me' He paused for a moment but went on: 'We can talk at school'
Where everyone can see us - And nothing can happen -
'But - when something - er - . happens. I mean, here at home. You can always come'
She didn’t look at him when she nodded and spoke: 'I think you - you should go now.'
He gave a faint nod.
I will - She doesn't want me here - She's angry -
'You still got my address, don't you?' he asked her. He didn't really wait for a reply. He pocketed the papers he had used as Noreen's homework and stepped slowly towards the door. He left her room again, and with a last look on her face, he saw how she sank down on her bed, covering her face with her hands. he closed the door again and went down the stairs.
What have I done?
Back in the sitting room, he told Noreen’s father he had given her the homework and a small explanation. He than shook hands with the man and left the house again, walking briskly towards the tube station.
Shit -
He walked past Paul’s house.
I need to see him.
He was about to walk up the steps of the house, when it occurred to him Paul was still at school. He sighted and walked down the stairs again. He took the first tube to his house. When he got out the underground, it had started to rain again
Oh great - And Paul wanted to go jogging tomorrow -
He closed his jacket a bit more and walked across the street towards his apartment. He opened the door and went in. Although he had just walked a few yards in the rain, he was soaking wet. He walked towards the kitchen and took off his jacket and placed it on the kitchen sink. He didn’t care if it would be better to hung it over the radiator. Out of the fridge, he took out a bottle of beer, and out of his bag he took his cigarettes, lighting one at once. With the cigarette between his lips, he opened the can. He took a long drink as he stumbled over to the sofa and sank down on it, his eyes closed
God - What have I done - I should never have done that - Never have invited her - She will never look at me again -
He sighted. He had been incredible stupid. He was really relieved Noreen wasn’t planning on going to the Headmistress, but he knew he had ruined a lot. He had hoped of a friendship between them. He had wanted to teach her so many things about the language he was teaching her. He had hoped he could have seen so much of her work.
As he was thinking, he noticed he had been wrong from the beginning, by asking her to stay after the lesson. He had asked her about her parents, which is actually wrong. He knew a teacher was a forced to help a student, but that was only when they asked too. He had offered it, which isn’t wrong. But the fact that made it wrong was because he was a man. It always looked a bit odd if a girl student would talk to a male teacher, especially when that teacher was not her mentor.
He kept his eyes closed as he took another long drink of his beer.
I’m such an arse -
He wasn’t concerned about himself, he was concerned about Noreen
I’ve hurt her - She won’t talk to me again - I doubt if she even want to follow my lessons -
He sighted and placed his hand on his forehead
I must have insulted her - I shouldn’t have done it - God - Why did I do it? Why? I’m not like this - I never kiss someone that fast - I don’t even like someone that fast - I’ve never liked someone as much as I like her - I can’t deny I’m in love -
He sighted and let out a frustrated grunt. He finished his beer and threw the bottle through the room, which hit a book case. He opened his eyes again and saw how the last bits of beer were coloring the carpet
I don’t deserve her - I can’t have her at all - She’s my student - I’m a - her teacher -
He got up to retrieve the bottle. He brought it to the kitchen where he took a second bottle.
He had probably ruined everything for her. She didn’t want to this. She didn’t want to be kissed or touched by an old, perverse, attention seeking teacher.
After he had taken a long drink, he went back to living room where he sank back down on the sofa. Once in a while, he took a drag of his cigarettes, but let it more burn up that really smoke it
He looked at the old grandfather clock that hung on the wall. His interior was already odd, but if one thing wouldn’t fit in it, it would be that clock. He had inherited from his grandfather when the man had died. He had always liked that clock, and he still did. It was almost 3 o’clock. Another hour and Paul would be home.