Embracing a new life

Chapter 5: Dawn

A chilly breeze drifted over from the sea and bit his nose uncomfortably as he sat in the entrance of the tunnel that led to the underground sanctuary of Andreji’s clan. Well, of his clan, in fact. River looked out onto the soft waves that reflected the light of the half-moon that stood partly hidden behind clouds on the firmament. A few dozen metres beneath him, they licked the foot of the cliff.

River hugged his knees and rested his chin on them, deeply immersed in thoughts.

Firm footsteps came up behind him. A hand was placed heavily on River’s shoulder, and a lean body settled down beside him. “So contemplative?” asked a soothing, dark voice.

River closed his eyes and did not respond. The rush of the sea was the only sound. Finally, he directed a question at Andreji. “Do you sometimes wish that vampires were an accepted part of society? That we could live amongst humans, share daily life with them? You know, just to be able to lead a normal life?” He glanced sideways at the older man. Surely Andreji must feel the isolation far more gravely than River already did, after four hundred years of living in the shadows.

The pale eyes of his lover roamed the horizon. Slowly, Andreji shook his head. “No.” He shrugged minutely. “You know I was never truly part of human society, or at least I did not get to see much of its good sides; why should I long for it, now? Think about it logically – even if our existence grew public knowledge and it was decided not to persecute us, do you honestly think people could accept us? Humans always fear what they do not understand. We would be just as isolated as we are now, probably even worse.”

“That’s not what I meant,” River retorted in a quiet, subdued voice. “I just…”

“You have not yet found your way in your new life, and therefore you look back to the old one,” Andreji helped him out calmly.

River looked at him in surprise, contemplating if what his master had said was true. “Perhaps.” He let his head drop onto his knees. Further moments of silence followed as he tried to arrange his thoughts.

A slight scratching came from overhead, and a few moments later, someone looked into the tunnel, hanging in the rock cliff above them. “Evenin’.”

Andreji nodded and got up to make room for him.

“Isn’ it a bit icy for a romantic night out gazin’ at the stars?” the passer-by asked mockingly and disappeared.

Andreji settled down again.

“I don’t know,” River commenced speaking again. “Lately, nothing’s happening. My whole life seems to be about waiting, about turning into a bloodsucker. There’s nothing else.”

Andreji brushed a blond strand out of his fledgling’s face. “But that does not mean there could not be more, does it? It is up to you what you make out of your life…”

“Right. ‘Cause there’s so much to be done at night!” River complained. In France, he had at least had a part time job, but now that sunlight hurt him… “I thought you’d train me up to become a beast hunter, your successor, the way you succeeded your master. You always said you would, but you haven’t taught me a single lesson in ages.” The beast hunt – the hunt of so called ‘supernatural’ beings - had let them together. River was barely more than an amateur, though, and Andreji had promised to teach him.

Andreji smirked in answer to the barely hidden accusation. “I intend to wait with the practical lessons until your transformation has proceeded further. In your own interest. Until then, you are free to take on another job-,” River wanted to protest, but Andreji cut him off, “there is plenty of work to be done at night. You could also take a correspondence course at the university, learn a new language… -There are plenty of things; you just have to make up your mind.” Andreji brushed over River’s shoulder encouragingly and rose.

“By the way, neither Demyan nor his maker ever practised the hunt.” He turned and started walking back into the warmer parts of their dwellings.

River frowned. Griet had once told him that. Well, she had apparently been mistaken.

Pale light flowed over his exposed upper body as River gazed into the mirror. A young man looked back at him. His complexion had lost the last remainders of bronze colour the dim winter sun had painted onto his face. His upper body had grown stronger, his arms were curvier than they had been two years ago, when he had met Andreji for the first time, owing to his increased exercising. The man in the mirror looked strong, experienced, and resolute for his age.

Squaring his shoulders, River inhaled deeply and repeated in his mind what he had resolved upon in the last days. To behave the way he looked from now on. Like somebody who knew what he wanted and was taking care of himself. No, not ‘like’. He was going to be that someone.

Ever since he had been chosen to become Andreji’s fledgling, River had left all decisions to him. His attempts to escape his fate in the beginning had at best been half-heartedly executed and had therefore failed. Later, when River had given in to his attraction to Andreji, his master had determined their lifestyle. Yes, he had given River a bit of freedom, but River had used it just as half-heartedly. At least within their relationship, Andreji was the one who wore the pants. True, that was his role as master. However, it bothered River somehow, and Andreji had stressed many times that he wanted them to be equals. Perhaps he waited for River to take the initiative.

Lately, his life had spun entirely around Andreji. There had hardly been room for anything else. River felt he was lacking something.

Having called up his determination again, he turned away from the mirror, switched the light off, and went into his room to retrieve clothing. It was early in the evening on a Wednesday in the middle of March; Andreji sat in the library and drank his ‘morning’ tea. Dressed, River joined him. There was a cup prepared for him as well.

“D’you think I’m ready to climb the rocks myself?” he asked the older man. Due to the unusual location of their dwelling, River could not come and go as he pleased. That was the first point on his list of things that had to change.

Andreji looked undetermined and shrugged his shoulders. “We can try if you like.”

“Please.”

An hour later, they stood at the exit of the tunnel again, the sea rushing below. With ease, Andreji found hold in the rocks and climbed a few feet down.

“Now it’s your turn,” he called up. “Just follow your instincts.”

Keep talking, River thought as he carefully sought hold in the rocks. When he hung at the wall, his heart beat fiercely in nervousness. He wanted to seek eye contact with Andreji.

“Do not look down,” he was warned. “Not while you are not comfortable doing this. Seek hold with one of your feet a little further down.”

River followed his master’s instructions and slowly climbed towards the beach. With a sigh of relief, he finally felt firm ground under his feet and stumbled backwards into the other man.

A low chuckle greeted him. “That was the easy part.”

River turned around and looked at Andreji questioningly.

The man pointed upwards, a knowing smirk grazing his lips. “Moving downwards is always simple…”

River grimaced and turned back to the task at hand.

“Do not worry,” the calm, dark voice said behind him. “I will catch you.”

“Wow, you know how to reassure someone,” River retorted snidely as he started finding hold in the cold, rough stone again.

Soft laughter.

River – despite Andreji’s taunts – had more confidence, now, and climbed more quickly. The voice from below warned him to take it slower, but he ignored it. It felt easy, all of a sudden. In fact, he liked climbing upwards better than moving downwards since he saw where he was going.

It did not take him long until he had managed the first half of the way. Inwardly, River was already jubilating that he would be independent of Andreji from now on if he wanted to go out. He was not sure if he had already developed any special vampire sense or other ability that enabled him to do this or if he had had the ability all the time. After all, free climbing was practiced by humans as well.

Just as he was pondering about that, he grasped a protrusion in the rock wall – and slipped. Surprised, he lost balance and, with a shocked gasp, fell.

Adrenaline was pumped into his veins, he felt the cold air flow past him, and were there distant whispers in the air? Was he already delirious from fear or was something slowing down his fall? With a hard but harmless impact, River landed in safe arms.

“Are you alright?”

River placed a hand on his master’s shoulder to steady himself and was let down. He gazed up and breathed deeply.

“Shall we stop for today?” Andreji asked.

River put a hand on his hip, his eyes still upon the rocks. “No,” he replied after he had managed to breathe some sense back into his panic-stricken brain. “I’ve just been stupid. Let’s try again.”