Two halves make a whole moon

For the second time that day, I had passed out, but awakening now, I couldn’t feel it aching as much anymore.
Probably due to how knocked out I was.
The unique smell that was Jason enclosed me, trapping me in comfort. I sighed happily, snuggling to the warmth, realizing that it must be him without having to open my eyes.
I could hear his breathing now. It was the same soft breaths of him sleeping I knew so well, I felt my lips stretch in a smile.
I wondered then about my shoulder and the bracelet. Pressing closer to his body, I opened one eye slowly. It didn’t make a difference, I couldn’t see anything. I opened both of them fully and after a few seconds of panicking understood that the darkness came from Jason. His body had made a cocoon about me, covering me from everything that wasn’t him.
I don’t think it was deliberate. He didn’t like me enough to act this way purposefully. I breathed in again and sighed out loud, tilting my head forward so that my cheek touched his upper body. His had removed his t-shirt, bare chest and I now understood why. His skin was boiling to the touch as if he were feverish, but I’ve felt it before, I know it’s not that he’s sick.
Just that he’s not normal.
My colder skin makes him curl even more, closing up my breathing space and I don’t mind. I shut my eyes and hum a song running through my head, when I mentally reach the third chorus, his arm lifts up and his wrist turns.
“It’s already five.” He voice murmurs from above my head. My humming stops and I stay still, waiting for something. “I have to take you home before your mom arrives.” His arm drops over me and lazily reaches for my bracelet; I can feel him touching the tassels. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” I say meekly. His shoulder shifts slightly and uses the arm wrapped around me to rest his head.
“It was the bracelet you know, that made you crash like that. My grandma says that it forced you to go through crazy withdrawal.”
“Withdrawal from what?” I peered up at him and he turned his chin down to look at me.
“You are so weird.”
“Me?” I gasp, confused and lean on an elbow to sit up, admiring him as my eyes head back to his face. He studies at me with curiosity, at complete ease with the fact that he’s half naked lying in….I look around and realizes I must be in his room. A bed, which we’re in, a dresser and skateboards over a rug. All dirty shades of green.
“Do you know me from somewhere?”
His voice brings me back to focus on him and I sit up completely. I notice I’m not wearing my dress and make a motion to cover my bra clad chest from his eyes, I couldn’t do anything to cover my panties.
He rummages a free hand through the comforter and finds the dress, handing it to me. “Are you going to answer?”
I take it and pull it on quickly, wincing at a muscle spasm from the bite. “School. Where are my shoes?”
“At the door.” I search for them with my eyes and scramble off the bed to get them when he tries again.
I know where this is going.
“Did I have any classes with you?”
I slip on a flat. “Yeah.” He grimaces and shakes his head. “I’m ready to go.”
He glances at me then sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “Okay.” He rummages around again and pulls out his t-shirt, tugging it on and sliding his feet into flip flops. He stands up and I follow him out the door, waving quietly at Wynonna who sat on the couch, reading a novel. With a surprised face, she waved back. “See you two tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? Oh. Jason was spending the night again and we have training as well. I got in his truck and looked out the window during the ride. He stopped the car in front of my house. “Okay, I need you to wait here while I hide the truck, the bracelets should delay the effects, so I can probably do this without you passing out.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t do it on purpose you know!”
“Yeah.” He shifted to drive and pressed the accelerator, zooming out of sight.
I waited, my heart pounding, worried the pain would come soon. It took longer than I expected before a wave of sadness washed over me, blanched my senses. My eyes began to strain, tears welling. “Oh god.”
A hand gripped me and I jumped, lashing out, trying to hit something with all my strength. Jason caught my arm as it swung at him and noting that the other was aiming at him as well, he dodged it and grabbed it as well. “What the hell?” He pulled me closer, his features relaxed when he saw mine. The delayed reaction was apparently for only one of us.
And I just keep getting all the crap in this.
“Cynthia, look at me. It’s just me!” He whispered loudly, holding my trembling face in his hands. I wailed loudly, making him force his hand to cover my mouth. He muttered curses as he swooped my legs up with one arm and headed for the front door. I couldn’t stop crying, and with great difficulty he had to take the keys out of my pocket and open the door whilst covering my face enough so that I wouldn’t call too much attention. I couldn’t control my voice.
This was becoming so damn annoying.
He struggled, half dragging a wrestling me up the stairs. He efficiently kicked the door behind him shut, letting go of my mouth to cover his own face. I couldn’t see well enough to know he was upset, but I stumbled about, tripping on the floor. I was so angry! I cried endlessly, trying to rip off the bracelet, scratching at my skin and the leather, sobbing and my neck giving away.
He sat behind me, resting his back against mine. He said nothing and my weeping continued, I probably had snot and puffy eyes, but the emptiness in me was beginning to lessen. Then, slowly, so did my tears. Sniffing, I pulled away from him and lay down on the rug, wrapping the dress around my wrist as the tears began to sting it.
Jason sighed heavily. “Better?”
I refused to answer. What the hell did he care? As far as I was concerned, I’m the only getting affected; I don’t need his stupid sympathy.
He leaned over me. “Cynthia?”
“Don’t touch me.” I hissed, hiding my face under my arm.
“Don’t- you have to be joking. Are you angry at me?”
When I refused to answer him, he growled, a sound that felt next to my ear, making me shiver in fear. “You stupid bitch, you think I do this crap for you? I can’t leave you whether either of us want to because I’m not going to die. Don’t touch you…..the fuck is wrong with you? You think I like having to console you every time some shit happens? I’m feeling all these things too! When I touch you, you feel better. You don’t want me touching you, fine. No matter how much you beg, no matter what you say, I won’t touch you.” He stood and walked away, the closet door slamming open and then slamming shut. “Fucking bitch.”
The feeling of emptiness from before echoed back into my chest.
This time had nothing to do with the bracelet. I did not know Jason. I didn’t know his crude side, his anger. I only knew his peaceful sleeping state. I crawled to the edge of my bed, climbed to the top, drew the sheets over me, pulling them close and let tear after silent tear out. I smothered my face in the pillow, careful of not letting out too many sounds.
I heard my mother’s car arrive, her loud closing of the door and the slow step up the stairs. ‘“Cynthia? Cynthia sweetie, are you up?” Her knuckles rapped on the door and opened with a creak. The bleak darkness of my room and silent form must have given her the idea that I was asleep. I could hear her steps behind me, checking the room and then leaving, shuffling her flip flops away.
I fell asleep with tears still rolling out of my eyes and dreamt of Jason again. In the classroom, he slept on the desk or I thought he was until he turned to look at me. I felt how insubstantial I was and floated to him.
He watched with unblinking eyes, blank face. I waved and he smiled. Then I smiled.
“You’re here early.” I say in an unearthly voice.
He cocks his head to listen closely. Licking his lips he closes his eyes. “I wanted to see you.”
“Why would you want that?” I asked in confusion.
His eyes opened half way. “I’m worried.”
I come closer, needlessly leaning on the desk. “Why?”
“Because you don’t understand.”
“What don’t I understand?”
“That I can’t fix us. That we are broken.”
What I feel would be my face, stretched. “What?”
He closes his eyes again. “I can’t love you the way you love me.”
I back away, suddenly on the other side of the classroom, by the door. He turns his face to a window. “I don’t want to hurt you, there is a place I want you to see, a place that belongs to me and now to you as well.”
“Where?” I practically scream, frustrated. My vision blurred.
“Ask me how to fly, ask me to show you. I can’t love you. Not yet. Let me show, Cynthia. Let me show you that I can’t love you. Save me.”
“When?”
“When we are alone, and the sun becomes an apple.” Just when I tried to ask again, I woke up.
“Wake up, I brought you some bread.” I rolled over, finding an outstretched hand with a loaf sliceof bread and smeared peanut butter held up to my face.
“Thank you.” I murmured as I took the slice, taking a small bite. An apple sun?