A Dark and Stormy Night

They talked for a while, how long exactly James wasn’t sure of. In the time they spent with Katlyn’s made up trivia game, he had found out quite a bit about her. Just as she had about him. He had learned that she was an only child, like him. She had a caring mother and a father that didn’t quite understand her, just like him. She liked going out on the weekends and hanging out with her friends, same as he did. She wasn’t obsessed with her appearance, a comforting similarity with him. In a lot of ways, they were very much alike. And at the same time, they were very different. Katlyn didn’t like fast, loud music like him. She also preferred to take trips to parks where she could hike or just find peaceful spots to play her flute. What also amazed James was that Katlyn had a clear understanding of what she wanted to do with her life. In a practical sense, she already knew which college she was going to go to, and that she was going to major in art history. And with just a little bit reluctance, she confided to him that her ultimate dream was to play in a professional orchestra in Carnegie Hall. James was very much surprised with Katln’s firm grasp of what the future had in store for her. Clarissa had no clue what she was going to be doing at the end of the year. In fact, the more James thought about it, the more he realized that Clarissa had had a single ounce of direction or desire to try for one. Talking to someone with a clear goal, and a firm belief in achieving it, was very comforting. It made James think a little of his own future, and discovered he had no idea where he was going. In the literal and figurative sense.

Katlyn also found out a lot about him too. The things he did outside of school, what movies he liked, and lots of other little things. He did his best to avoid the questions that he knew would reopen his already worn emotional wounds. Mercifully, Katlyn didn’t ask, even though it was apparent that she wanted to. Besides, the question about what to do with his own future was tough enough. The only thing he could tell Katlyn was that he didn’t know.

“So that’s it?” Katlyn asked. “You really don’t have any idea what you want to do with your life?”

“I just never gave it any thought.” he answered.

Katlyn shook her head softly. “That’s not a real answer J. You have to have some kind of goal.”
James sighed. Having since moved to the floor of the room, he eased himself onto his back and stared aimlessly at the ceiling. His lack of answer wasn’t good enough for Katlyn. “Don’t you have things you love to do? I mean really love to do? Don’t you ever have dreams?”

He had a dream once. At least he thought he did. It all had centered around Clarissa, and now it was dead. Still, he didn’t feel right by not answering Katlyn’s question. It made him feel like he was ignoring her. “There’s nothing I’m good at.”

Katlyn’s face was suddenly hovering right above his own. “Come on, everybody’s good at something. And everyone has something they love to do. And so do you. You can tell me, I promise not to laugh or anything.”

James had wanted to avoid giving her an answer altogether, but with her kneeling over him, with those eyes that kept drawing his gaze for some reason, he saw no way to do that. Feeling his face flush with embarrassment, he confided to Katlyn. “Ok, ok. I like to build things.”

“What do you mean build things?”

“I mean like I can build things like model buildings and stuff.”

“You mean like architecture?”

“Something like that.”

“Do you just build things?”

James lightly licked his lips. “No, I usually draw the designs out myself. Then I build miniatures of the drawings.”

“And you do it all from scratch? You just think the designs up?”

James nodded. “Yes.”

“Are they good?”

“My parents think so. They tell me I should design buildings for a living.”

Kat gave him a warm smile. “See,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You do have something you love and are good at. You should always hold on to that. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

James didn’t know why, but it felt really good hearing the encouragement from Katlyn. The one time he had shown his hobby to Clarissa, her eyes had gotten a sort of careless glaze over them. She had never cared about his hobby. In fact, the more James thought about it, the more he realized that there had been a lot of things he had liked which she had never cared about. But one glance at Katlyn’s face, and he knew that she wasn’t just trying to sound interested in his hobby, she really was curious about it. It really felt nice to know that there was someone who wasn’t going to ignore him or tell him how stupid of a thing his hobby was. That understanding only helped to unnerve him when he realized that Katlyn had a hand resting on his shoulder.

Coughing lightly, James pulled himself up. Katlyn backed away slightly, and he was glad for that. James roughly got to his feet, grunting slightly from the sudden spike of pain in his midsection. “This game’s getting boring.” he said, trying to sound uninterested. In reality, he was trying to push a subject that veered away from the inner workings of his personal likes.

“Ok,” he heard Katlyn say. “Then let’s try something a little more risky.”

James turned around, and saw Katlyn staring up at him sheepishly. If he wasn’t mistaken, he thought he saw a look of mischievousness on her face. Was this the same band girl that he had first dismissed as a dork just a few hours ago? James was starting to think that there might be more to Katlyn than he had originally thought. Whether that was a good or bad thing, he didn’t know. But he certainly found himself strangely curious as to what she was getting at. He cocked an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

Katlyn smiled, the tops of her cheeks turning slightly pink. “How about…truth or dare?”

James stared at her for a moment, trying to take in what she was saying. “Are you serious?”

She nodded. “Sure, why not?”

“Because that’s a stupid kid’s game.” James said. “The last time I played that I was like twelve.”

“I was eleven.” Katlyn said. “But what difference does that make? We’re stuck in here, there’s nothing else for us to do. So why not?”

James could think of several reasons why. But trying to make them seem valid to Katlyn didn’t seem very likely. James sighed. “Alright, I’ll play the stupid game.”

Katlyn smiled and clapped her hands slightly. In that moment, she seemed very much like a little kid, and it also made him wonder how innocent she really was. James knew from ‘personal’ experience that Clarissa hadn’t been. But thinking of her was the last thing he wanted to do.

“I’ll go first, if it makes you feel better.” Katlyn said in a bright voice.

James walked back over and sat in front of her. He started pondering what was about to come from this seemingly childish game. “Truth or dare?”

Katlyn gave the question a thought. “Truth.”

“What do you like to do for fun on your own?”

Katlyn smiled weakly. “Well…I like to play my flute and write my own music. Your turn, truth or dare?”

James slightly rolled his eyes. This really was a stupid game. “Truth.”

“Are you always mean when you meet someone for the first time?”

“No. I’m quite nice. Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

James laughed inwardly to himself. Fine, if Katlyn wanted to play this dumb game, he was going to make it worth his while. “What kind of guys do you like?”

Katlyn’s eyes went wide in conjunction with her cheeks getting pink. She looked down at her shoes. “I don’t know. I guess a guy that looks somewhat good, but he wouldn’t have to be a model or anything. He’d have to be smart, and caring, and sensitive, but wouldn’t be afraid to take initiative or fight to protect me.”

James stared blankly at Katlyn for a few moments as he took in her description of what she looked for in a guy. “Boy, you really narrowed it down.”

“Well, you asked.” Kat replied sheepishly. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Come on J.” Kat said with a sort of pout. “It’s no fun if all we’re going to do is this.”

“Fine, dare.”

As he sat watching Kat ponder what to demand of him. James suddenly had a deep regret for changing his decision. As Katlyn continued to clearly think of what she could make him do, James felt his body beginning to tense. What if she made him do something stupid? Or something worse? After a few more frightful seconds, Kat spoke, and

James held his breath.

“I dare you to make a running pass through the door.” she said, pointing at the door to the rec room.
James eyed it, then turned back to Kat. “Are you serious?”

Katlyn smiled at him. “You said dare, so I’m daring you.”

“Alright, fine.” James got up and walked to the end of the benches. Kat picked up a random football and slowly stalked to the other end of the room. Surprisingly, she brought it up and made a few practice throws. James hadn’t been expecting her to know how to do that.

Katlyn looked over at him and smiled slightly. “What? You think I don’t watch the players every once and a while?”

James was about to say no, but then he reminded himself that Katlyn was a girl. To think that she hadn’t watched a bunch of muscle bound guys show of their testosterone was hoping too much. Again, James wished that he hadn’t thought about a thing like that. There was no way he could have ever expected Katlyn to watch him, not compared to guys like that. After all, he wasn’t good looking either. Still, James had been through too much already. Another little bit of rejection, even unintentional, was not something he needed. He returned her a weak smile. “Can you throw?”

Katlyn raised the football and held it high. “Run to the door, and you’ll find out.”

So he did. It was a serious run, best described as a light trot. All the same, James made a good effort towards the door. He still couldn’t believe that he was doing this. The only thing that really surprised him was that he was actually embarrassed. He should have been so low that such trivial things were beyond him. But he wasn’t.

“Head’s up.” Katlyn called out to him.

James looked over his shoulder, and was stunned to see the football arching just under the ceiling, coming right for him in a very good spin. In just a moment, James couldn’t help but marvel at Katlyn’s ability to throw a football that well. Was there anything that she couldn’t do? James took one last glance at the door just to make sure that he wasn’t going to hit himself going through it. Having tossed the pigskin around with his old man once and a while, on top more than a year’s worth of watching games from the sidelines, James knew how to catch the ball. And so he did. It was a perfect pass with an equally perfect catch. There was just one important factor that James, and Katlyn, had not taken into account. James instantly remembered what he had forgotten when the end of the football slammed into his chest, and a surge of sharp pain exploded all through his chest.

“Aaarrrggghhh!” James howled as he clutched his chest and collapsed to the floor.

“James!” he heard Katlyn scream from the other side of the room. Her footsteps rushing up to him were only vaguely heard. He held his hands over his chest, with eyes and teeth clenched tightly. Katlyn was by his side before he knew it. “James, I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t mean to…to…”

“It’s ok.” he whispered softly. “I forgot too.”

As the pain slowly subsided, James became aware of Katlyn’s hands on his shoulders. And that she was slightly rubbing them. Blinking away the few tears of pain, he looked weakly up at her. She was staring down at him, her light brown eyes shinning with a deep concern. And care. James instantly felt a loss of breath, and an all too familiar tingle radiating just under the throbbing pain in his chest.

“James.” Katlyn whispered softly, leaning closer to him.

James felt the muscles all along his face tighten as he continued to stare up at Katlyn’s eyes. A spike of fear surged within him. “I’m fine.” he said in quick, raspy breath. Before Katlyn could stop him, James roughly pulled himself to his feet. With the pace of his heart quickening, he left the room to put some space between them.

“James.”

He sighed, knowing that there was no way he could ignore her. Just the sound of her voice, which was still filled with a gentle tone of concern, was enough to tell him that. Turning around slowly, he saw that Katlyn was still on her knees, looking up at him. James hated to see the sad look on her face, it made him feel guilty somehow. “What?”

“Why don’t you want me touching you?”

James took in deep breath. “Kat…”

“Even if all I do is lay a hand on you, you shrink back like I’m revolting. Is there something wrong with me?”

He shook his head. “No Kat, it’s not that at all.”

“Then what?”

“It’s just…” James trailed off, catching himself just before he let his unsavory secret spill out. He turned away from her and started walking towards the far end of the locker room. There was little surprise to him that he heard Katlyn a moment later coming after him. That still didn’t mean that he wanted her to.

“James, you know…”

“Kat, don’t…”

“…you can talk to me…”

“Please.”

“…about anything. Anything at all.”

“Why?” he growled softly, anger starting to fill his voice. “Why can’t you just leave it alone? It doesn’t concern you.”

“Because I want to help you.”

James faced her again. “What makes you think that I need your help? And what makes you think you would understand?” There was malice in his voice now. If he had thought just a little more about it, he wouldn’t have spoken to Katlyn like that. But she was digging into an emotional war raging deep within his heart and mind. It was his problem, and no one else had been able to help him. How could anyone help him through this? Especially a girl he didn’t even know.

Katlyn didn’t shrink back from his mild attack. James admired her courage, even though he didn’t know how she had it. He expected her to yell back at him or get mad and storm out. Katlyn did neither. The sadness in her eyes just seemed to grow. “Because…”

“What?” he demanded. “Because what?”

“Because I’m not her.”

James entire body froze from Katlyn’s answer. His throat tightened, forcing him to swallow hard. He glanced at Katlyn’s face only once. Seeing her brown eyes gazing at him with so many different emotions caused him to look away sharply. James quickly made his way towards the far corner of the room from her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“James,” Katlyn said, walking after him. “I don’t know who she was, or what she did to you. But I promise you, I’m nothing like her. You can tell me about it.”

“What makes you think you’re any different?”

Katlyn’s sympathetic eyes bore into him. “I would never hurt someone the way she hurt you.”

“What the hell would you know?” he snapped at her. Hot tears began to sting at his vision as the pain in his heart was forced to the surface. “How could you understand what I’m going through? How could you understand this emptiness? How could you understand that kind of betrayal? What the hell would you know about love!!!”

Katlyn reeled back, almost as if he had smacked her. She backed away from him, a very hurt expression quickly spreading across her round face. In the heat of the moment, James wasn’t sorry to see her like that. Who the hell was she to tell him that she was different? That she could somehow help him. Katlyn’s head lowered, so much that he couldn’t see her face. But he did hear her trying to suppress a few sniffles. Hearing that cut away a lot of James’ anger towards her. After a short period of time in which James kept his breath held, Katlyn looked up at him. Her eyes were glistening in the light.

“J.” she said in a weak voice.

“What?”

“How many times have you been kissed? How many times was it real?”

James should have felt offended that she would ask such a question of him, but her watery eyes compelled him to answer. Aside from Clarissa, he hadn’t kissed any other girls. Which may have been one of the reasons why he had fallen for her so quickly. But that didn’t matter, it was in the past and dead. What mattered was the present. “A couple of times. And they were real, at least…in the beginning…”

Katlyn made a huffing sound, and tossed her hair back. James saw her bite the very back of her lower lip as she brushed away the wetness from her eyes. She sniffled a couple of times before clearing her throat. She then looked straight at him. “How…how many times do you think I have?”

“What, been kissed?”

She nodded her head slightly. James rolled his eyes. Just great. Hearing Katlyn’s cliché story of never being kissed was all he needed. As if she could ever try to relate to what he was going through. Still he needed to give her an answer. He chuckled sarcastically. “Oh god, you’re not going to tell me that you’ve never been kissed?” James turned away from her and paced to the end of the room. He turned about abruptly, not caring the Katlyn had suddenly become the target of his misery and anger. She should have never pressed the issue.

Katlyn shook her head sharply. Slowly, she lifted her arm. A single finger was raised with her trembling hand. James stared at the raised finger, as if he were seeing some monumental secret. His eyes shifted from the finger to Katlyn’s face. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Once?”

“Yes.” Katlyn said in a voice that was neither caring nor angry, it was just empty. “I’ve been kissed once in my life. Do you want to hear about it?”

James dropped on his butt and leaned his back into the lockers. Folding his arms across his chest, he kept his eyes on Katlyn. “I would love to hear this.”

Katlyn took a few steps towards him. She stopped and looked around, as if she were about to tell a secret that was worth her life. And…there appeared to be a great amount of reluctance to speak. She took in a deep breath first, then began her tale. “I was fourteen. It was the spring dance of our Freshman year. I don’t know if you were there.”

“I was there.” James replied sharply. Of course, he wasn’t about to tell her that he had gone to it by himself.

Katlyn sighed, turning to look at the wall rather than him. “When I had first heard about it, I was so excited. I never went to a dance before, I always thought that I was…well, too ugly to get a date. And I never wanted to go to a dance by myself. But…this time was different. I just wanted to go, even without a date. I wanted to try and have fun.”

Katlyn continued to stare longingly at the wall. “I spent two whole months of my allowance to get this perfect dress I found at the mall. I can still remember every detail. It was a bright blue dress with yellow daisies sowed into it. It had shoulder cut sleeves and a ruffle at the bottom around my knees. And the best part of the dress was that it fit me so perfectly. For the first time in my life, I thought that I looked really beautiful, and let others see it too. My mom put extra special work into getting my hair and face to look just right with the dress. She told me that I looked like a princess, the way she used to when I was little.”

James took deep breath and grumbled. What the hell did a story about some stupid dress have anything to do with a kiss? He hoped that Katlyn would just get to the damn point.

“So I went with a friend of mine. It only took her a few minutes to get a boy to dance with her, and I didn’t see her for the rest of the night. I spent the first hour just sitting at a table in the far back of the gymnasium. Just sitting there, watching so many out and having fun. Almost everyone with someone else, and me just sitting there like some fool. And then…out of nowhere…”

“What?” James asked, his curiosity finally triggered.

“He came and sat down at my table. I was so shocked that my jaw dropped. I thought he was taking a break, that he had gotten mixed up, or was waiting for his date. I never could have believed that he had sat down to meet me. He was gorgeous, it just seemed, well, unreal. I asked him if he was at the wrong table, or if he was waiting for someone else. When he told me that he had been watching me, and that he wanted to come over and talk to me…I was speechless.”

At last, Katlyn turned to him. “I know this sounds crazy. But I swear, in that single instant when he looked me in the eyes and gave me that warm, charming smile of his…I fell in love.” Katlyn sighed, looking away from him. “I mean, come on. How could I not. Some one like me, and a guy like that, it was impossible.”

James was sitting upright now. Katlyn had his full attention. “And?”

“He told me that my dress was really pretty…and that I was too.” Katlyn walked slowly over to her bag and sat down. She stared down at it in a deep trance. It was more like she was talking to herself now than him. “Then, he asked me for a dance. And not just any old dance. It was a slow one. He took my hand and lead me out to the dance floor, I almost fell down twice just following him. And the next thing I knew, he had his arms around me and we were dancing. While we were moving, he said all kinds of sweet things to me. That I had eyes that reminded him of his grandmother. I can still remember the way he rubbed some of my hair between his fingers, telling me the whole time that it felt like silk. He told me that I was the most amazing girl he had ever seen. When the dance ended, he wrapped his arms around me, he was big even back then, and hugged me. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even breath. I mean, how could a guy this handsome be hugging me! Holding me like I was the only other person in the entire world. My heart felt like it was going to explode. Then he pulled back and looked right into my eyes. It was like time had stopped. And then…”

“Then what?” James asked, leaning forward. He was completely taken in by Katlyn’s tale. In fact, his pulse was racing slightly as he waited with dripping anticipation to hear the next part of the tale, which he feared he already knew.

Katlyn looked at him with sorrow evident in her eyes. “What do you think? He kissed me. It was the most amazing, most unearthly thing I had ever experienced. It stole my breath away.” She looked down at her shoes with a sort of emptiness. “In that single moment, every bad thing in my life just vanished. It was like everything on earth had just disappeared, and I had been taken to heaven. I was in harmony with the whole world, and nothing could hurt me while I was in his arms. It was like being in a dream.”

James could see tears starting to roll down her round cheeks, and he instantly felt terrible for the way he had spoken to her. But there was more than just guilt building within him. There was a need, no a desire, to go to Katlyn and comfort her. In James’ view, no one as caring and gentle as Kat deserved to be hurt so bad. “Kat…” he whispered, slowly standing up.

Katlyn threw her hands up to hide her face. From behind the mask of her fingers, James watched as Katlyn tried to hide the fact that she was beginning to cry. “It was a bet.” she said between sobs.

The shock of what he heard came as close as being physically being stabbed in the chest as James could imagine. In that terrible moment, the truth became all too real to James. Katlyn wasn’t a stranger to his pain. She understood all the horrible feelings and emptiness that came with a blow like that. The suffering that he was enduring from Clarissa’s betrayal suddenly seemed so vague and like it had happened a very long time ago.

“He walked off and told me he would be back.” Katlyn said in a weary voice. “I waited and waited, but he never came. So…I went looking for him. I found him with two of his friends in one of the back corners. I saw them handing him some money…and telling him that they couldn’t believe what he had done. I just stood there as he bragged about how easy it was, that I was just some stupid round girl that would eat up any sweet words from a guy like him.” Katlyn looked up at James now, and he saw the deep pain that was visible in her bloodshot eyes. “He…he told them to pay him the extra money…for the kiss.”

She buried her face back into her hands and began to cry the tears of a deep, jagged heart break. “Oh Kat…” James said in a voice that barely passed his tightened throat. He started to move towards her. He was at a complete loss for what to do for her. How could he dare to say to her that it was all going to be alright, when he knew that it wouldn’t?

“Five for the dance.” Katlyn cried, her voice rising. “Five for the kiss. Ten bucks, that’s all I was worth. I…I…”

“What.”

“I went to him.” Katlyn hiccupped. “I…I asked him how he could do that. How he could just hurt me like that so heartlessly. He said it was nothing personal…but he needed the money. He told me to get lost, that…that he didn’t like working with heavy equipment.” Katlyn broke down into wild, uncontrollable sobs.

Watching her, hearing her story that sounded far worse than his own broken heart tale, James remembered. He had been at that dance. He had thought very little of it after nearly three years, but there had been something that had stuck with him since then. And now it was coming back full force. He remembered leaning against a wall, watching the couples out on the dance floor, feeling the bitterness of being alone. And that it had suddenly been shattered when a girl in a blue dress had rushed past him. He had only caught a single instant of her face, but it had been enough to see her in tears. It had happened so fast that James had been completely taken off guard. There had only been enough time to watch her nearly ram through the front doors to the gym before she disappeared. It had only taken an instant for a tidal wave of sympathy and concern to wash over him for the girl he had never seen before. He had wanted to follow her, just to see if she was alright or needed something. And James was sure that he would have, if his friend hadn’t pulled him away to talk about something. As far as James was concerned, that had been one of the biggest mistakes of his life, because he noticed a lot of people talking about the girl that had just run out, but no one went after her. As the night had worn on, he had felt increasingly bad for having not gone out to check on her. He had looked around the gymnasium for her all that night, but never saw her again, and assumed that she had never come back in. He had gone to bed that night feeling completely rotten for having done nothing. James had thought about her several times in the weeks after, wondering who she was and what had happened to her. He had tried to find her again, but the brief glimpse of her rushing past in a dark gym hadn’t come close to giving him an idea who she was. Eventually, he had forgotten all about it. But now, standing before Kat, and hearing her horrible tale of heart break, the truth became so very clear to him. The girl, the one he had thought about for so long, the one he had longed to help all those years ago, had been Katlyn.

“Who…” James swallowed hard to force down the lump in his throat. “Who was it? Who did that to you?”

“Who do think? One of the stupid jocks on the football team.” you Katlyn wailed.

The realization struck James hard, like a bomb. He didn’t dare to believe that it was possible. The odds of it were astronomical, nearly unthinkable. But yet, he couldn’t stop himself from asking a question which he knew he would dread if the answer was right. “It was Marcus, wasn’t it?”

Katlyn said nothing. Her head bobbed up and down slightly.

James clenched his fists so tightly that the skin became deathly white. A deep, nearly blinding rage was overcoming James as he looked the heartless, sadistic results of Marcus’ manipulation of a poor innocent girl in the flesh. Even though the other boy was far bigger than him, James had no doubt in his mind that he would have choked the very life out of the wretched bastard if he had been standing right there in front of him. Hurting him was one thing, but making Katlyn, a girl who was so sweet and caring even to complete strangers, crying the tears of a broken heart…it was unforgiveable. Aside from the feeling of pure murder coursing through him, James was being overcome with another desire. And it was simply to just go over to Kat, take her in his arms, and comfort her. James began to do just that.

“My first kiss.” Katlyn sobbed. “My only kiss. Nothing but a goddamn bet!” Her voice was nearly hysterical. Without another word, Katlyn grabbed her bag up from between her feet and fled the room.

James was taken completely by surprise. It took him several seconds to regain his train of thought. By the time he had, Katlyn had run out the room. “Kat!” he screamed, rushing after her. “Wait!”

But she didn’t. The echo of her footsteps was all that James heard in reply. His heart racing, James rushed after her. He ran through the rec room and into the hallway just beyond. There was enough time for him to rush into the back equipment room, and see the door to the shower room slam shut. “Kat!” he cried out as he ran for the door. James slammed into it hard, and the pain in his chest exploded again. He nearly doubled over. His hand firmly holding on to the door knob kept him up, barely. When he regained his footing, James tried the knob. It was locked. His pulse racing, James lightly hit his hand against the door. “Katlyn, open up.”

“Go away!” he heard her muffled voice from the other side scream. “Just…go away…” After that, there was nothing. Except the faint sounds of her crying.

Sighing, James rested his forehead against the door frame. Feeling of guilt swept through him. Guilt for having been so mean to her again. Guilt for assuming her to know nothing of his pain. And most of all, guilt for not doing anything when she had so desperately needed someone long ago. “Kat.” he whispered softly. “I’m so sorry.”


Katlyn rushed across the vast and completely empty shower room, the sounds of her pounding feet echoing all through the small confine. She could barely see through her tears, and nearly fell when she ran across a spot of wet floor. Throwing the bag aside, she threw herself into the corner that was furthest from the door. She dropped on her butt and pulled her knees into her chest. Wrapping her arms around her shaking legs, Katlyn buried her face between them. In the gloom of the near dark room, she poured her heart out in the deepest sorrow. She wished that she wasn't stuck in the miserable building. She wished that she hadn't remembered the deep pain of heartbreak from three years ago. More than anything, she wished she had never meet James.