New Found Brother

It was about three in the morning and I found myself staring up at the ceiling. I had fallen asleep, not fully sure when, but I knew that I had. But I was once again awake.

I pulled my arms behind my head and turned on my side, lost in my thoughts. There were several different thoughts too. I was thinking about everything that had happened today, and so confused by it. Surely Jeff didn’t really like me in that way, it would just be too weird. But it did in a way, somewhat, explain the kiss that had almost happened between us on the couch. And I was slowly growing to the point where I wish we had kissed, just so I’d know what it felt like.

But that would also mean I liked my brother in that way, at least a little bit. But I didn’t want to sleep with him. Just a simple little kiss. That was it, one kiss to satisfy my curiosity and I’d be done.

Wait no. I didn’t want to kiss him. He’s my brother!

I gave a frustrated groan and rolled over, burying my face into my pillow, deciding that feelings were way too complicated and annoying.

The door bell rang. “What the fuck?” I asked a loud to my empty room, lifting my head from my pillow.

I waited to see if Jeff got up to answer the door. He’d probably be pissed that someone had decided to show up at three in the morning. He’d be even more pissed if it was one of his drunken friends.

The door bell rang and there was still no sounds of Jeff getting up to answer it. I sighed and pulled myself out of bed as it rang for a third time. Might as well see who it was.

I made my way out of my room into the dark hall, stubbing my toe on the table placed in the most stupid place ever. Why the heck was there a table in the hall? I questioned myself as I began to half hop to door. Finally there, and mumbling something about un-wanted house guests, I looked out the peep hole.

“What the hell?” I asked before unlocking the door and pulled it open.

“I lost muh key,” Jeff stated to my obviously questioning face before attempting to step through the door. He stumbled, landing most of the way on me. I caught him around the waist and somehow managed to remain on my own feet, holding my overly drunk brother.

“Please tell me you didn’t drive home?”

“I told you, I lost muh key.”

So he had, and I wasn’t about to question how he got home again. “Fine, you need to get to bed,” I told him. I kicked the door closed with my foot the half drug him back into the hall to his bedroom. I would have dropped him on the couch, but it wouldn’t have more likely ended up with the both of us tumbling down the steps and ending up on the floor.

I pushed his door open and we somehow made it to his bed without killing each other. I let my arm slip out from around his waist as he fell onto the bed in a sitting position. I stared down at him for a moment and wondered if I should get my swaying brother undressed. I decided not to, my feelings were already mixed up, and to see him pretty much naked now would probably only make things work.

“Well, good night then,” I stated, turning. Jeff caught hold of my forearm and I stopped moving. I turned back to him and gave him a curious look, wondering what he wanted from me.

“Please.”

I arched a brow, “please what?”

He wasn’t looking at me, he was staring blankly at my chest. “Kiss me. Just once.”

My breath caught in my throat, and my head quickly turned down to stare at him, slightly wide eyed. I unconsciously began to chew on my bottom lip, trying to think of a response. But I didn’t have to, Jeff looked up at me and began to speak again.

“Just once. I wanna know.”

Before I could respond this time, Jeff pulled me down closer to him, and wrapped his free hand behind my head and pulled me so that my lips met his. In all honesty, the chaste little kiss felt better then any kiss I’d ever had before. I surprised myself when I rested my hand on his shoulder, pulling myself closer to him, pressing myself to him, opening my lips slightly asked for more.

He responded too, his own lips opening, and his tongue hesitantly meeting mine. I could taste the alcohol on his lips, and as much as I hated the taste, mingled with Jeff’s own taste made it so much better. My body heated and my stomach clenched as Jeff’s hand left my arm, his fingers curling now around my waist.

Then all movement from him stopped, and his grip on my waist and neck loosened. I pulled back, frowning slightly looking down at him. “Jeff?” I barely asked, not realizing I was so breathless. He didn’t respond, and I realized his eyes were closed. I moved my hand off his shoulder and nudged him slightly. He fell backwards.

He was asleep!

“Jerk,” I mumbled, practically stomping out of his bedroom to my own, slamming the door behind me.


------


I woke to the doorbell ringing, rolling over in bed to check the clock. It was a slightly more decent hour this time, seeing as it was close to nine. I couldn’t even remember when I had finally fallen asleep. Spend most of the time tossing and turning in my bed, reliving the kiss over and over, finding myself wanting it to happen again.

I pulled myself out of bed and made my way to the door again, stepping clear of the stupid table in the hall. I looked through the peep hole and found this time it was Matt, one of Jeff’s drinking buddies. I opened the door and gave him a curious look.

“Jeff make it home last night?” he asked me.

“Yes...?”

“Yeah, sorry, we sorta just pushed him on the elevator and pushed ‘10’ figured he could make it the rest of the way. Oh,” Matt reached into his pocket. “Here’s his keys. He wanted to drive home, but we hid these from him.”

“That would explain why he said he lost them. Thanks,” I took the keys from his hand. Matt nodded and was going to turn to leave, “hey, can you tell me something?”

Matt stopped and looked at me, “sure, what do you want to know?”

“How good is Jeff at remembering what he does when drunk?” I asked curiously, wondering if he’d remember kissing me.

“Never remembers a damn thing, and always has hangovers. He’s a pain in the ass when he has a hangover.”

I nodded slowly, “one more thing, does he ever talk about me?”

Matt gave a small shrug, “now and again. We’re not as close as we were in high school, so we don’t talk as much anymore, but when we are together he talks about you.”

“Like what exactly?”

Matt bit his lip and I knew what Jeff told him. “Stuff that’s between you and Jeff, and I don’t want to get involved in. But hey, I’ve got to get to work. Tell Jeff to call me.”

I nodded, before shutting the door. Now I wanted to know what Matt knew, and I was also now pissed that Jeff had kissed me while drunk. He had said he only wanted to kiss me once, and had he of been sober, he would have remembered that one kiss. But nooo, he had to be drunk and wouldn’t remember it, but I would, and would end up thinking about it every time I saw him.

I stopped as I was about to throw his keys (forcefully I might add) on the couch. I should think about the positive side of it all, now he’ll want to kiss me again.

No. No, no. No. That was not a positive. He was my brother. Brothers don’t kiss.

Well... he was only my half brother...

I tossed his keys on the couch and wandered over to the fridge, pulling out a can of soda, sliding onto the stool as I popped it open. A half brother wasn’t as bad a full brother, I mused. Not to mention it wasn’t like any kids could ever come out of our relationship.

I choked on my soda. When the hell did kids get into my brain? And what relationship, we were brothers. Nothing more, nothing less. There would be no more kissing or bad thoughts. Nothing. We would be civilized around each other, and never speak of any such thing again.

“God dammit, my fucking head hurts!”

I jumped at the sudden sound of Jeff’s voice. He sounded like he was in pain, seeing as he was groaning and cussing up a storm. I contemplated returning to my room... or maybe turning up the TV really really loud just to see what he did.

There wasn’t any time to act on either of my thoughts though, as Jeff suddenly appeared in front of the fridge, rubbing his head. He was still wearing the clothes he had gone out in, only now they were more wrinkled, which only made him hotter.

I watched him cautiously, drinking my soda, watching for any signs that he remembered kissing me (and falling asleep), but he didn’t give any, as he slammed the door of the fridge shut with a bottle of water in his hand.

“Who the fuck was at the door?” he asked, glaring at me as if it was my fault the door bell had rang.

Matt was right, he was a pain in the ass with a hangover. I stood from the stool, lifting my soda and giving him a shrug. “A friend,” I stated, walking past him, purposely bumping shoulders with him. Remember the kiss. Remember that I had asked for more. Grab me and kiss me again. But he didn’t, he let me walk past. I tried not to look disappointed by it and went to my room.

I set my soda on the desk and slumped down into the chair before giving the desk a nice little bang with my head.