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AN: Kolgrim - YES! XD I remember you actually LoL - this was previously titled Broken - so no, You are not being confused XD haha. I'm Re-writing it now... finally got back to it XD haha. Thanks for Reviewing!!!

Chapter 5 – A moment in my hands
(This is a song-fic. Chapter... Ha-ha yeah I’m crazy but I love this band and It just worked out really well for this part of the story! Tool-Prison Sex)

The morning came too soon, with a dull thud of something hitting the wall in a steady rhythm, and burning light from the all-too-bright early morning sun. Sadly, in that exact moment everything came crashing back to Veron with a force he hardly even knew existed. “Today’s the day…” he said more to himself than anybody else, he wasn’t expecting an answer

“Today’s the day for what?” Jerek asked almost innocently as he looked into the eyes of a very shocked Veron. Moving quietly Jerek sat down beside him and rubbed his hand over Veron’s chest, playing with still sore and somewhat bruised nipples, and pulling on the nipple rings that passed through them. “For us? Is it such a bad thing? Think about how far you’ll get with three hundred dollars. Think of how much you can do for little Rene, besides it’s not new to you.” Pulling hard on Veron’s nipple ring and twisting it, he made his point with a harsh whisper in his ear, “you are nothing! You will never be anything. You’re a slut, a whore. You sold your soul for money. So what’s once more?”

Veron whimpered, and tried to pull away, succeeding only in inflicting more pain upon himself, “please, let go.” He whispered, “Please, it hurts.” His eyes were closed in exquisite pain. His face distorted in a half grimace as Jerek continued to torment him.

“It’s not just pain though, is it Veron. You fuckin’ masochistic whore. I bet you like pain. You ever been fucked hard little whore? I bet you have, and I bet you liked it.” He twisted his nipple more causing Veron to cry out, and wake the boy still sleeping next to him.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Kyle asked, “Let him fucking go Jerek!” He was tempted to punch his brother but was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t let go of Veron’s nipple ring; It was already starting to tear and bleed, a thin trickle of blood over otherwise white skin.

“He’s my whore today, and I’m paying three hundred dollars for the little fuck, I think I’ll have my fun.” Jerek replied, before letting go and sending a hard slap across Veron’s face. “You deserve this and more, and you will get it. I think perhaps you should not piss me off to badly today. Or the pain will increase, and I just don’t know how much you can handle, I may push the boundaries of your tolerance little one. What your mommy and brother did is nothing compared to what I will do.”

Veron kept his eyes closed, holding back tears and wondering what he had gotten himself into. He was scared, it seemed too familiar. He didn’t have a chance to get drunk or high, it was him, all him and he didn’t know if he could deal with pain, and painful memories at the same time. He heard a rustling of movement and warm arms embraced him, enclosing him, at least for now, in a cover of warmth and protection.

“It will be okay, just, Try to get through today; and then it will be just you and me, just us. I’ll help you through this. I know you hurt, but it will be okay. I’ll make sure it’s okay.” Kyle’s hands warmed him, brought him back to a place of almost happiness.

It took so long to remember just what happened.
I was so young and vestal then,
you know it hurt me,
but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
I've got my hands bound,
and my head down, and my eyes closed,
my throats wide open.

I do unto others what has been done to me
Do unto others what has been done to you


They slept for nearly an hour before Rene woke them up in an all too innocent question of, “Why are you two naked together?” Veron laughed and grabbed his and Kyle’s pants from off the floor near their feet where they were dropped. “You’ll figure it out when you older.” he said quickly slipping his pants on. “Rene, Kyle’s going to take care of you today. I’m going to be busy for a while, and I might not see you until tomorrow, so you be good for Kyle, okay?”

He felt Kyle move closer to him, his breath on his neck and ear. “I will take good care of her. As long as you take good care of yourself.” He whispered. “If you need me I will be here, all you have to do is call.” He gently squeezed Veron’s shoulder and stood up. “We’ll have fun, eh Rene?”

Rene didn’t bother to even glance at him, her eyes were focused on the little droplets of dried blood and cum that were still on his body. “Are you hurt?” She asked pointing at his nipple. “It’s red, and looks like it was bleeding.” The concern in her voice was precious, and made Veron want to cry. So innocent, nothing more than a child, and made to grow up with a family that hardly cared.

“No sweetie, I’m fine, but me and Kyle need to have a shower, so you sit down here, and watch T.V. and we’ll be back in about fifteen minutes, alright.”

Rene nodded and sat on the couch in front of the television, and Kyle turned it on for her. “Cartoons, just for you eh?” He smiled and as he walked passed, ruffled her hair in an older brother, caring kind of way.

Once out of earshot and eyesight, Kyle looped his arm around Veron's shoulder, stopping him from moving anymore. “Veron, look at me.” The tone in his voice was not one of happiness, or joy. It was hardly even love or caring. It was forceful, demanding. “I said, look at me.” His voice was softer, but still demanding. “I don’t want to see you like this. I’ve never seen you like this. You’re tough, so strong, Why now. Why are you so weak now?” Kyle turned Veron to look at him. “This shower shit is a lie, you know it. It was just a way for you to get away from prying eyes.”

“I’m sorry.” Veron said. Looking into the eyes his once-upon-a-time lover. “I just don’t know how long I’ll be able to handle this. I just… I don’t like the thought of being used by your brother.” He stated, “I don’t want to have to do this anymore. I want a life for me, not for anybody else. But right now, I can’t have that, and last night was the first time since you… since you left that I actually felt…”

“… loved…” Kyle finished for him. “Like you were living for you. Not somebody else.” Kyle wrapped his arms around the younger boy. “I’ll always be here. My mom can take care of Rene… and I’ll go with you... somewhere, sometime; And we’ll get you out of this.”

“I wish it were that easy.” Veron replied, pulling out of the embrace and walking down the hall toward the bathroom. “I’d like to shower by myself.” He said finally when he got to the door. “I just want to be alone.”

Kyle stepped back as the door closed in front of him. “okay.” He said. “I guess…”

I'm treading water,
I need to sleep a while.
My lamb and martyr,
you look so precious.
Wont you, won't you come a bit closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this,
I can't stand to burn too long.
Released in this sodomy.
For one sweet moment I am whole.

The hot water fell over Veron in a wave, daring him to simply relax and go to sleep. Daring him to fall into oblivion and forget everything. He didn’t notice when the door opened and somebody stepped into the room.

“Veron.” Jerek said, “Why isn’t Kyle with you? I figured you’d at least want to take some time with him before handing yourself over to me.” Veron pulled the door open a bit to See Jerek leaning against the sink, hair in a short ponytail, black baggy raver’s pants hung loosely on narrow hips. “Ya know, you look kind of lonely in there all by yourself, how about I join you. Make you a bit more comfortable hmm?” Before there was time for an answer Jerek stepped forward and undid his pants, pulling them and his boxers off.
Veron was staring, ‘he’s huge.’ He thought to himself with some shock.

“Like what you see?” Jerek asked as he stepped closer to the boy in the shower. He smiled and pushed Veron against the wall, closing the shower door behind him. “It’s not, shameful to like me as much as you like my brother, you know. I can make you happy if you’d let me.” He said, trapping the small boy between well muscled, tanned arms.

Veron closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, “Why do you even want me?” He asked. “If I’m truly nothing more than a common whore, why don’t you just go get a prostitute? Their cheaper.” He said, looking finally into Jerek’s eyes.

“you mean you truly don’t know?” Jerek asked. Stepping back into the heat of the water. “You’re a very attractive boy, Veron. I don’t want anyone else, I want you. I know what you’ve been through, I know you’re story. You’re not a common whore, you’re my whore.” Jerek reached out his hands and grabbed Veron by the waist pulling him to him in a quick motion, bringing their bodies together. “I’ve wanted you since I first met you, and If I need to pay to have you, so be it. I will hurt you, I’m not denying that, but I can make it feel good. You can have a safety word if you would like. I can stop when you say it, or stop some of the pain anyway.”

Veron’s breath hitched as Jerek began to once again roam his body with his hands, but this time he focused on his opening. The one part he didn’t want touched at that moment; the one he knew would be abused later. “Please…” he whimpered. “Please not now.”

“Hush, I told you I’ll make it good, better than anything. I will keep my word, Veron. I won’t hurt you, yet. Not like this.” Jerek maneuvered Veron until he was leaning against the wall, legs spread. He kissed him, tipping his head back, forcing his mouth open in a whimper. “I promise you, only today.”

Jerek moved slowly almost painfully so and spread Veron’s legs wider “You’ll like it.” He promised when Veron started to protest. He wrapped one arm around the small of his back and with the other he began to lift him. “Wrap your legs around me.” He whispered into Veron’s ear. He did so, and Jerek leaned against him, holding him against the wall with his chest. “This might hurt a bit.” He said as he lowered Veron onto his already hard cock.

Veron whimpered and squirmed against the wall as he was lowered fully onto the older boy. It hurt, not bad, but enough. “Shit,” He whispered and he leaned his head against the wall, his hair falling over his face. He arched his back and moaned quietly.

Jerek smiled, “You like this.” he said. “I thought you might. Hmm… fuck… you’re tighter than I thought you’d be.”

“I don’t often have sex with my clients. I’m a stripper, not a prostitute.” Veron fired back. Arching his back again when Jerek moved to position him better. “Don’t” he whimpered.

“Don’t what?” Jerek asked, “Move you like this?” He said as he lifted Veron then brought him back down. “Why? That’s kinda what we have to do. And if you’re not a prostitute, why did you agree to this?” Jerek was curious, reasonably so.

“Because I need money.” Veron answered, Biting back a moan as Jerek once again lifted him. “Don’t tease me. Either do it, or put me down.” He bit back another groan when Jerek moved, “Please.” He whimpered. “I can’t handle this.”

Jerek grinned, and leaned forward to capture the young boy’s lips in a kiss as he began to thrust into him with a forceful push. Everything about him was hot, their bodies moved together under the running water, one careful, giving and taking in the same moment, the other caught up in the moment, willing to let it happen, helping to make it right. “you okay?” he asked after a particularly forceful thrust that made Veron cry out and arch his back almost painfully. He got a nod in reply and continued with his sweet torture.

Feelings ran through Veron, to fast to hold onto, to quickly to think about. Something in him told him it wasn’t right, that he was cheating on Kyle in letting himself enjoy it. Another, quieter part of him told him that he was taking his life in his own hands in allowing it to happen. He was living for himself, for the moment. Then in a flash, the world went black, and he collapsed onto the older man. His cum being quickly washed away in the warm water.

Do unto you now what has been done to me.
Do unto you now what has been done...

You're breathing so I guess you're still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
Won't you, wont you come just a bit closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this.
I need this to make me whole.
There's release in this sodomy.
For I am your witness that
blood and flesh can be trusted.
I am your witness that
blood and flesh can be trusted
And only this one holy medium brings me piece of mind.

Veron woke the dark eyes of Jerek leaning over him. He was lying on the bathroom floor, “What..?” he asked, touching his head to see if maybe he had hit it and knocked himself out somehow. “I- how?”

Jerek smiled and brushed a loose strand of hair from his face, “I think it was a bit too much for you.” He laughed. “Get up, need help?”

Veron looked at him for a minute, then blushed, “I- No, I’m fine. I need to get dressed.” He sat up, perhaps a bit too quickly, and immediately became dizzy. “okay, help might be nice.” He concluded, and looked at Jerek. Wondering why he was acting so nice when during the morning he had wanted nothing more than to hurt him.

Jerk stood and helped Veron to his feet then passed him a towel from the closet. “We’re just going to my room,” he said when Veron opted for clothing; “You don’t need to get dressed. Just put the fucking towel on.”

Veron nodded and grabbed the blue striped towel from him, and wrapped it around his hips. “So that’s where I’ll be most of the night? In your room, trapped like some disgusting sex slave?” The hint of bitterness and anger in his voice was obvious, and Jerek slapped him for it.
“Did this mean nothing to you? I told you were mine for the night! I fucking bought you! I have claimed you as mine! And not even fifteen minutes ago you willingly gave yourself over to me!” he yelled. “So yeah, I guess it does.”

Veron was momentarily taken aback, had he really given himself over so easily? ‘Maybe I am a whore’ He thought bitterly, ‘everybody else seems to think so.’ he looked into Jerek’s eyes and saw nothing, absolutely nothing. Like he was indifferent to everything around him, and it hurt, for some reason he couldn’t explain he wanted Jerek to tell him he wasn’t a whore.

“Come on. My room is in the very top floor the stairs are just over there.” He said when he opened the door and was sure that Veron was following. “C’mon. nobody’s going to see. And even if they do, who gives a fuck, I mean, other than your lover, Kyle.” Jerek grinned, and started walking toward the stairs that lead to the top floor. “I know you don’t like the idea,” Jerek said, “but I really don’t care. You are mine for the night, to do whatever with. I will choose if I let you sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom even.” I’m paying three hundred dollars for you, after all.”

“Am I worth it? Now that you’ve had a taste.” Veron asked, “After all, I would hate to waste your time.” It was more than that, and they both knew it. Veron wanted to be worth that much. He wanted to be more than a waste of time, wanted to be more than a sample product that someone could throw back if they wanted.

Jerek giggled, and looked back at him, “when we go back to my room, I want to show you something. And then you can choose for yourself weather or not I think you’re a waste of time and money.” With that he stepped up to the door, opened it and followed Veron up the stairs.

Once there, Jerek pulled Veron to stand in front of the full length mirror of the far wall. “Look.” He said, “what do you see?”

“Me...” Veron answered, “you… the dresser… the bed…” Unsure of what else to say he turned around.

“You know what I see? I see a little boy who had to grow up to fast, a man who’s so unsure of everything he doesn’t know what’s real and what’s fantasy. I see, you, scared and confused by life and everything in it. I see someone who’s worth more than three hundred dollars and a little bit of time. I see someone who needs to learn how to trust, and I see the person who’s going to teach you.” Jerek turned Veron around and knelt down, looking up at him. “have you ever trusted anybody but my brother, and your sister?” he asked quietly.

“No.” Veron stated simply, looking down.

“Will you trust me? Do you think you can learn to trust me?” Jerek asked wondering If he could ever convince him that he wasn’t all bad.

Veron tilted his head, then looked away. “I don’t know.” He said after a few minutes of studying the dresser as if it were the most amazing thing ever. “I really don’t know. You’ve already hurt me. How can I trust you? How can you expect that of me?” He asked truly wondering.

Jerek nodded, “Yes. I have caused you physical pain, but you can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy our little moment of oblivion in the shower, when you gave yourself to me so completely. I mean that was trust, wasn’t it?”

Veron nodded, “yeah, I guess so. I don’t know.” He shrugged his shoulders and looked at he bed, white and cream colored silk sheets, pillows and blankets covered it. The color of innocence, when he was anything but. He looked away, anywhere but at Jerek.

“Why don’t we lie down, and I’ll make you feel good.” Jerek sad, taking Veron’s hand and leading hi over to the bed. He undid his towel then Veron’s, and pulled him onto the bed. “Think of this as a whole new chapter in your life. One where you can trust and be in charge of everything.”

Jerek leaned behind him and opened the drawer in his bed side table and pulled out a piece of red silk and two pieces of black silk. “you know that these are for, don’t you?” He asked holding them up.

“I- Umm… yeah. Blind fold, and ties…” Veron said looking worried into the eyes of the man in front of him. “Why?”

“Well, because we are going to use them.” Jerek stated simply. “I won’t hurt you, I’m going to teach you. It’s going to be okay, don’t worry. I know your scared, but don’t worry. You’re going to be top.. In a sense anyway.” Jerek reclined on the bed and held Veron’s hands, pulling him until he sat on top. “Put this blindfold on.” He said once Veron was seated comfortably, and passed him the red silk cloth.

Veron hesitated, looked once more into the dark eyes below him, them grabbed the blindfold and tied it around his eyes. Once finished, he felt Jerek moving his arms, and tying them behind his back. Fear swept through him in a wave, he couldn’t see, could hardly move. He truly did need to trust in Jerek fully. Ha needed to trust in him to stop if he asked, to help him if he needed. He needed to trust that he wouldn’t hurt him.

Got your hands bound, your head down,
your eyes closed.
You look so precious now.

I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this
shit blood and cum on my hands.

I've come round full circle.
My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon.
You look so precious...
You look so precious...
You look so precious...
You look so precious, now...
You look so precious...