Hate Me

.Hate Me

by: The Inflated Taco

o5: The Truth of My Perception

.

-M O N I K A-

-

If I had to choose what absolutely peeved me, being ditched would definitely be categorized in my top 3. I’d bet my left kidney that once they finished getting blown off their asses I’d be forgotten and have to walk myself home.

I slumped down on the table, thoughtlessly looking at the weekend crowd swarming into each other as they all fought to get that designer label on clearance. This was a situation I had already become quite used to….

Alone…. waiting for someone familiar to rescue me from my social abandonment. I honestly wouldn’t care if I saw my sister because then I’m sure I could argue my way into getting a ride home.

With a sigh I looked down at the table, about to gather up all my bags and just walk around- till I noticed a few things that definitely weren’t mine.

There was a pack of Marlboro Reds that looked more than half empty, some soggy fast food that already appeared to be in the first stage of decomposing, and some keys that proudly boasted a very vulgar key chain.

Because I couldn’t control my curiosity, I picked up the keys so that I could further examine its decoration. It was kind of big for a key chain, but it definitely had a lot of detail. It was a woman with a huge (most likely prosthetic) butt trying to give a sexy pose, with a little button when pushed would moan ‘Spank me, baby’. How absolutely classy…. I think it would have been pretty cool if it started making farting noises, because when I think of big asses, I think of farts and bacon for some weird reason…. But maybe that’s just me.

It was then I was brought out of my big booty thoughts by my favorite person, “Hey I left my keys here, but I think you already know that”, he stated, giving me this slightly embarrassed look as I pushed the little button again and the over exaggerated ‘spank me, baby’ was my only way of acknowledging him.

I looked up and saw him standing right behind me. I just lifted my hand to pass him the keys, “Nice key chain”, I mumbled.

He picked his keys out of my hands with two fingers like a crane and rolled his eyes. Ignoring my comment he asked, “Where are Jack and Jere? You already scare them off?”

“No I didn’t ‘scare’ them off” I said nonchalantly, trying my best to disregard his second grade behavior, “They’re still doing whatever it is they do”

He threw himself on the chair by me and gave me that offending smirk I had become so familiar with, “Well, don’t be expecting them back any time soon”

For some reason this didn’t surprise me. I just looked at him and sighed, “And why’s that?”

“Cuz’ they’re doing bumps in my chick’s car”, he laughed as he tapped his fingers on the end of the table and looked out into the crowd.

“Then why aren’t you with them?”

“Uh…. My keys”, he said, stating the obvious as he waved the keys around as though I were an idiot.

“Whatever”, I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I slumped into the chair. I seriously swore this guy absolutely hated me. Well, I don’t know if it was just me he hated….

It seemed as though he hated everyone! I mean, whenever I saw him attempt to act like a human around others he behaved the same way. Not only did he look like an asshole, but he also acted like one. Except with Jack…. But for some reason everyone liked him. This was a concept that hadn’t yet registered in my head.

I told Jelly and Xing that he was my Geometry partner and they practically creamed themselves. So he dealt drugs, was an artist, looked like a walking sketchpad, had awesome long hair, and looked like a beautiful grungy rocker. What’s so great about that? This was his second year as a senior in high school! Evidently, he wasn’t that great.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ozzy spat, looking at me as though I had grown a baby foot from my forehead.

I just blinked, remembering where I was and realized I had been staring right at him like a freak. Why do I have to be so weird!? “Uh… nothing…sorry”, I stammered feeling even more awkward.

“Naw, it’s cool” he laughed giving me this sleazy grin that made me want to puke, and a suggestful wink that made me uncomfortable, “I know I look that good. You just can’t resist me”

“Eww… I think I’ll object to that,” I said rolling my eyes and leaning on the table, my head resting on the palms of my hand. I might as well get comfortable as I waited for some more shit to spew out of his mouth.

“Well, you’re not too great either, “ he muttered sneering at me, as he looked me up and down with a sickened look on his face. Ooh, wow a shot at my self-esteem. Considering I don’t really have any it didn’t make much of an impact.

And for some reason I didn’t bite my tongue like I usually do around people who aren’t my sister and accidentally spoke my mind, “And whys that? Because I don’t look like FrankenBarbie and prefer to wear pants that aren’t so low a Brazilian wax is necessary?”

Ozzy stopped drumming his fingers on the table’s edge and looked up at me with a bemused expression on his face. I shouldn’t have said that! I could feel my face flushing. I kept my eyes low, focusing on a smudge of oil on the top of the table. I could just feel the harsh words about to lash out at me because I pretty much just dissed his new plastic girlfriend. Only he didn’t open his mouth and cinder me in flames like I expected.

I mustered up what little courage I had left to see what the hold up was on my verbal abuse. I slowly looked up and saw Oz staring right at me, chewing on his lips trying to hold back a laugh.

Instead of asking him what was so funny, I bit my tongue like I should have done right from the start. He quirked his eyebrow and laughed, “Are you PMS’ing right now or did your balls just drop?”

I couldn’t help but let a small smile tease the corner of my lips. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t bitching me out or telling me how dare I talk shit about his perfect girlfriend. I just rolled my eyes and gave a sarcastic laugh, “Very funny”

Oz grabbed the pack of cigarettes and brought one to his lips so it rest against his lip ring, "Yo, lets go outside”

“Shouldn’t I wait here for Jere’?” I asked, watching as he rolled the cigarette around in his mouth.

“Nah”, he scoffed as he picked the cigarette out from his lips and pointed it towards the entrance, “C’mon I need to smoke something in celebration of your coming into manhood”

I gave him a grin as I stood up and followed him outside, pushing past the crowd. He was making jokes…. And I was laughing. Who woulda’ thunk it? So I’m guessing he was in one of his good moods.

Well why wouldn’t he? Today he hooked up with pornaliscious Daisy. I think if any guy could call a chick with tits as big as mine (only way nicer and perkier), stomach so flat you could roll tortillas on it, and an ass that gave Jlo a run for her money, his girlfriend he’d be in a pretty damn good mood too.

Ozzy leant back against the brick wall, lit his cigarette and took a drag, “Want one?” he asked sarcastically as he waved the box of cancer sticks already knowing my answer.

I just raised one eyebrow and softly pushed the box of ciggys out of my face, “I’d rather make it to 40, thank you”

“Whatever then”, he grunted as he put the box in his pant pocket.

I took a seat on the pavement, my back resting against the rough wall. Ozzy was standing right beside me, blowing smoke up into the air.

I couldn’t believe how crazy my first week was back at Kingsville High. On Friday I go to an insane Rob Zombie concert and my first real party. I drink my first alcoholic beverage, which so happened to be drugged, and then the last person I’d ever expect would give a flying fuck about me kinda’ takes my passed out body home. Then that person who acts like I’m his biggest nuisance is sitting with me outside the mall puffing away at his cancer stick like it was going out of style.

“Hey”, I said as I looked up at him, the sun causing me to glare a little bit so I looked back down into the parking lot, “What really happened last night at that party?”

He blew the smoke out through his nose, and took a quick glance down at me with those piercing insipid eyes, “What do you mean?”

“Like, I dunno’…. It’s just I couldn’t really remember anything this morning”, I admitted as I picked up a dried out twig off the cement floor and began doodling little faces on the pile of dust that had gathered, “And now I’m kind of remembering a little bit”

I could just feel him staring down at me, “What do you remember?”

I tilted my head against the wall, watching as two rockabilly girls walked towards their car with their arms filled with shopping bags, “I remember everything until this guy gave me that drink and you told him something”

I looked up at Ozzy kind of embarrassed, but I really had to know- and he was the only one who was with me, “I remember being in your car’s backseat”

He gave me this weird look and took a final drag of his cigarette before flicking it off into the floral pot besides him, “Yeah?”

“Yeah-”, I giggled as I brought my knees in, “I remember opening my eyes and seeing you”

I could have sworn I saw a small smile flash on his face for a quick second before he asked, “And then what do you remember?”

“I think something might have spilt on me earlier-“, I laughed, smiling up at him I lightly tugged at the gray Suicide Silence sweater he was wearing, “-because I remember you cleaning something wet offa’ me with this sweater”

Ozzy didn’t even bother pushing my hand off his sweater- he didn’t even acknowledge that I still had my finger hooked inside his pocket. Instead, he just gave me a grunt indicating for me to either shut up or keep going. Just to be on the safe side I shut up.

There was definitely one thing I wasn’t going to tell him- in fact as soon as the thoughts even came over me earlier I tried my hardest to toss them out of my head. They were just too weird and gross.

I know that people say when they’re completely wasted they feel crazy things.

I could feel my face flushing in embarrassment as I remembered the sensation. I shamefully withdrew my finger from Ozzy’s pocket, not realizing I was still holding onto him. I’m pretty sure what I felt didn’t really happen, because who the hell would want to do that to me?

But then again some desperate guy obviously did want me…. If not I wouldn’t be out here sitting beside crazy tattoo boy and asking him to fill in the bits and pieces of my scattered memory.

I kept my eyes on the ground, not really sure I even wanted to ask.

“Hey-", Ozzy said, looking down at me, making me feel even more uncomfortable, “-you cool?”

I just stared at him dumbly. As I looked up at him I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. When he looked into my eyes it seemed as though he already knew what I was thinking- but I think that was just all in my head.

“Yeah…. I’m okay”, I said meekly, attempting to focus on those same rockabilly girls who were packing the bags into the trunk of a disgustingly yellow buggy.

“Then why’d you stop?” he asked as he also watched the tattooed girls sit on the little car’s trunk attempting to stuff in their bags.

Before I had a chance to utter a syllable I heard Jack’s voice scream out from across the parking lot, “Hey there sexy!”

I quirked an eyebrow at him, watching as he paraded down the parking lot with Jere’ and Daisy in tow. Jack jumped right besides me and stretched his legs out so he slowly let his weight push him down to the floor. He flung his arm around my shoulder making me feel slightly uneasy…but then again this was Jack.

“So- what’s going on, mama?” he grinned as he brought out a blue pack of Kool cigarettes and placed one in his mouth. Thankfully he didn’t bother asking me if I wanted to slowly commit suicide- instead he passed the pack to Jere who then passed it around.

“Nothing much”, I laughed, taking the pack of Kools from Oz and giving them back to Jack, “Ozzy was just keeping me company since my best friend ditched me”

Jere’ playfully picked his arms up in defense, “Yo, if you wanna’ blame anyone, blame that nasty bastard who’s got his arms all over you. His idea!”

I felt Jack tighten his grip on my shoulders as he enveloped me in a tight death hug, “No! Don’t believe that filthy filth coming out of his stinky mouth! All lies! Don’t hate me!”

I couldn’t help but smile against his shoulder. For some reason when Jack touched me I didn’t feel completely freaked out like when I met him. He was a loving dude. He was older than me, but for some reason he reminded me of an overgrown ten year old with a slight resemblance to Charles Manson.

Ozzy didn’t scare me either anymore…. I guess because I was Jeres’ friend they were kinda’ forced to accept me. Yea, they looked like those stereotypical guys you’d stare at just knowing they were these pot-smoking punks who listened to that crazy rock music. They were a little on the extreme, but they were all right.

I gave Daisy a slight smile because I noticed she was kind of glaring her perfect pretty little eyes at me. I really couldn’t give an opinion on her….

Like all girls when I see someone a million times better than me my first feeling is jealousy. And then if for some reason if I don’t click with that perfect eating disorder of a whore (and chances are we definitely WON’T click) I start making up excuses for not liking them. And I know I’m not the only chick in the world with this whacked out point of view.

“Hey I gotta’ go!”, Daisy announced out of nowhere in an irritatingly high pitched voice. I shit you not, she sounded eight, “I’m gonna’ meet up with some girls for lunch”

“Lunch?”, Ozzy scoffed, as he looked her up and down, “As in chewing something with calories and digesting it?”

She scowled at him and was about to say something back but before she could begin her bitchfest he wrapped his arm around her nearly nonexistent waist, silencing her with his tongue down her throat.

Jack and me exchanged disgusted looks and immature giggles at this very pg-13 behavior. Daisy managed to push him off before he turned her around, picked her skirt up and gave us all an nc-17 performance.

She turned around gave the guys a flirty little wave before walking back to her car, swaying her donkey ass superfluously so her short skirt would fly up and show her ass cheeks.

The guys kept quiet watching her like she might disappear if they took their eyes offa’ her. I rolled my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall and noticed someone who was not watching Daisy’s peepshow.

Instead he was looking at me with those wicked sapphire eyes. I pretended I was looking at her, slightly relieved when Jere’ got his attention with some perverted comment. I really hope when he was staring at me he didn’t notice the massive zit I had on my cheek that was glaring right back at him.

-

-O Z Z Y-

-

“Do you like it?” she asked me running her fingers through her short straight razored hair.

“Yeah” I sighed, sitting myself up against the bed railing. I felt my breath catch in my throat as our eyes met. She had dark blue and black eyeshadow and tons of eyeliner on, making her colored eyes look sexy and exaggerated.

She looked at me through the mirror hanging on the door, “I don’t know why you wanted me to wear this. It doesn’t even match”, she whispered, looking at the black bra encasing her huge tits and star patterned aqua boy-short undies I had asked her to wear for me.

I could tell she felt kind of reluctant, but I honestly didn’t give a fuck. I rubbed my hard dick through my boxers, watching her pat on the final touches of makeup on her beautiful face.

“Come here”, I grunted extending my arm so she would walk over to me. I wanted her now.

“Do you want me to wear any heels?” she asked pointing to a pair of black stilettos on the floor.

“No” was my simple reply. I was getting impatient. She walked over to me and sat down on the side of the bed.

She looked at me with a distant look in her eyes, and then she turned behind her to look at her reflection in the mirror. She scowled at her reflection, “I shouldn’t look like this. I look ugly.”

I looked her up and down, licking my lips, “This is the most beautiful you’ve ever looked, babe”

She looked at me with a sickened expression on her face, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she glanced at the three short lines of yay on the bedside table and quickly snorted one. She stayed with her head down for a moment before turning back to look at me once the coke shot up to her brain and gave her some confidence.

She was going to say something but I put a finger to her lips and told her to keep quiet. The last thing I needed was to hear her high-pitched childish voice. Her voice had a remarkable similarity to this porno chick named Cherokee (not the fat black one) – and she had her ass too. The first time I ever saw porn with Cherokee in it, I immediately hit the mute button.

“I just want you to be quiet”, I grunted as I grabbed her shoulder and turned her facing me. I was kind of drunk so it helped to blur her features a bit. Daisy looked so perfect to me now. I wanted to rewind back to last night when I had Monika in the backseat of my car.

“I want you to lay down”, I ordered, giving her room so she could lie back on the bed. I got off the bed, walking towards the bedside so I was hovering right over her, “Now I want you to pretend you’re passed out. Then when I start to fuck you I want you to wake up”

I ignored the appalled look she gave me. She took a deep sigh and was about to say something but I immediately covered her mouth and harshly whispered, “Look- if you don’t want to do this you can fuckin’ leave!”

She looked at me with these big crazy eyes that definitely weren’t Monika’s. These eyes had seen too much. They were tainted- and that’s probably why I didn’t feel guilty. I cupped her chin roughly in my hand and brought her face towards mine, “Or you can keep you’re bitch mouth shut and pretend you’re my beautiful sleeping virgin”

I really didn’t understand why she was acting like a little bitch about this. We had definitely done crazier shit than this. I had her fuck and suck another dude right in front of me. We’d been participants at an orgy sex party for fuck’s sake!

She shuddered a little bit, but then she realized she better just give up. She would do what I wanted and in return I would do what she wanted. And she wanted to remain off the strip pole (in other words unemployed), her monthly maintenance/shopping paid for, and monthly payment for her Escalade taken care of, and her luxurious condo paid for. This bitch jumped from sugar daddy to sugar daddy like a fat diabetic kid.

“Baby, don’t forget that I already paid your mortgage a month in advance for the condo-", I said as I sat down, running my hands up her legs, “So just do me this favor”

I leant down and began tracing a line from below her knees up to her inner thighs, causing her to lightly shiver. I could tell she was trying to stay as still as possible. I let my fingers slide into her panties, tracing her smooth pussy lips, “I only want you to tell me one thing while I’m fucking you”

She stayed still and quiet as I continued to run my index finger up and down her pussy, “I want you to whisper that you love me over and over again”

She furrowed her eyebrows and unintentionally opened her mouth and let a chocked gasp escape her lips as I slowly shoved my finger in.

She was no longer Daisy, my rebound girl- she was Monika. And I wanted to let Monika know how I felt about her. As disgustingly cheesy as it sounds, I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to kiss her everywhere and fuck her so slow it would be battle within myself to keep from pounding that hot, wet pussy till I bust a nut.

I slowly opened her legs so she laid spread eagle. I sat down right in the middle of her open legs. The sight sent pulses to my dick. I wasn’t as excited as I was last night because I knew this wasn’t really her. It was just stupid role-play, but I was tipsy and that helped.

I trailed kisses up her legs, slightly sucking on her inner thigh. With one finger, I pushed up her panties to the side and started by suckling on her nearly invisible clit. Her cunt was different…. Monika had these juicy lips on her mouth and between her legs and a luscious clit about the size of a pea. Just like the rest of her, Daisy’s pussy had undergone reconstruction. Daisy’s cunt looked like it was ripped off Carmen Electra and stapled between her perfectly toned thighs.

I started to feel a bit turned off, but I just pushed the thoughts back and put her legs over my shoulders. She slightly clenched her legs as I trailed my tongue down from her clit and pushed her body up so I could continue my trail down her ass.

I put my index finger in my mouth so I could wet it before I lightly began to tease at her little puckered asshole. I brought my mouth to her pussy and as I slowly pressed my finger in her tight ass, I also began to slowly fuck her pussy with my tongue.

For being a little bitch about this earlier, she sure was enjoying it. I felt her legs tremble as I pumped my finger in and out, her big round ass slapping at my hand. If I didn’t need to use my other hand to keep myself up, I would be jerking off as I lapped at her sopping pussy hole.

I moved my mouth over her clit and started licking it till I found the spot that made her get chills. Once I found that spot I attacked it with my tongue and started finger fucking her ass deeper and deeper till her whole body was shivering in desire.

She grabbed at the bed sheets, clenching them between her hands as I licked her tiny clit. I wrapped my lips over that sensitive little nub and started suckling on it. It didn’t even take five seconds before she tightened her legs hanging over my shoulders and her asshole began to contract violently against my finger. As she came, a little bit of juices flowed down from her pussy onto the hand I was using to finger her ass.

She lay there with her eyes closed, trying to keep her breathing controlled. I slowly withdrew my finger and positioned myself above her. I tried to pretend this was Monika but as I looked down at her I realized pathetic this was. This was just me about to fuck Daisy while she wore a black wig.

I scowled and lightly slapped her on the cheek, “Hey, games over”

She opened her eyes, looking at me with a puzzled expression, “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”, I mumbled throwing myself on the bed. I lay back on the hard overstuffed pillows watching as my hard-on slowly disappeared into my boxers.

“In the three and a half years we had been going out not once had you gone down on me. What’s so different now?” she whispered as she picked herself up, “Why’d you do it?”

“There’s a first time for everything, love,” I said as I picked up a half-smoked cigarette from the ashtray beside me.

I could tell she wanted to say something, but instead she just lightly frowned and sat down so we were sitting face to face. She brought her hand to my face, feeling the stubble that was already forming on the side of my face, “Can you answer something honestly?”

“Depends,” I said, pushing her hand away. I lit the cigarette and threw the lighter back on the table, watching as she attempted to sort things out in her head.

“Well-“, she laughed, “This whole stupid thing is just…. stupid!”

“What whole stupid thing?” I mocked as I exhaled the cigarette, not really caring if I blew it on her face.

“It’s just that girl,” she cried. I could tell she was either getting upset or sad because her eyes were starting to glaze over. She was about to say something else, but when she heard the door open from behind her she just stayed quiet and hung her head.

I watched Jack peek his head through the door, then the shocked expression etch across his face as he looked from Daisy to me.

There was absolutely no privacy in this house….

“Monika?” he murmured as he slowly walked in, his eyes just glued to her back. His eyes shifted to me and I just rolled my eyes.

I was totally busted.

I saw Daisy’s begin to frown and she clenched at the sheets and turned to look at Jack, “What? Do I look like this Monika?”

Jack looked at her then back at me as he realized what was going on. I just had to prove him right. I knew he wouldn’t say a word. I could trust him so I really didn’t care.

He raised his eyebrows and took a step back, “No it’s just-“, he mumbled, trying to find the right words that wouldn’t result in something being thrown at his head.

I just rested my arms behind my head, watching as what was supposed to be the night I acted out my fantasy became a total disaster. Well I guess any chick would freak out in this situation. But this wasn’t just any chick- this was a leeching whore.

If Jack hadn’t opened his mouth, perhaps I could have lied myself out of this one…. But he just had to say her name.

“Don’t you dare say that bitch’s name in front of me ever again!”, she huffed as she got off the bed. She grabbed the wig, throwing it on the ground causing her honey colored hair to pool down over her shoulders. She turned to look at me and pointed an accusing finger at me; “How the fuck could you do this to me?”

I just shrugged and ashed the cigarette in the plastic ashtray, “What do you care?”

“For your info, I had a boyfriend last night when you called me!” she screamed. As she spoke I stared at the mirror behind her wondering if her loud piercing childish voice would crack it. She threw her arms at her side and stomped her foot, “And I left him thinking it would be different this time!”

“I was horney and you have huge tits” I admitted looking at her, “Who else was there to call? You had the titties I was looking for last night”

I could have sworn she was about to cry. But instead she just grabbed her clothes off the floor and said, “Don’t ever call me again! I won’t answer!”

“Don’t worry about that,” I said nonchalantly, getting off the bed. I picked my pants up and slipped them on.

She walked over to the door pushing Jack out of her way, but before she walked out she said, “Oh, and before I go I just wanted to thank you for making 3 payments towards my car”

“What?” I said confused. I watched as she grabbed her thousand-dollar purse off the floor and fished out my platinum credit card.

“You can have this back now” she said giving me a bitter smile. She jiggled her purse in front of me, “Do you like my bag? It’s Fendi. Thanks for buying it for me. I damned well made sure this was the most expensive booty call you ever make”

Jack mockingly traced his neck with his finger, “You’re so dead, man”

I just stayed quiet. To be honest I was a little in shock. A few fucks with Daisy in a black wig set me back at least a few thousand. Shit! There goes my summer vacation in Cancun. If Jack wasn’t standing at the door, chances are right now I’d be planning a way to hide her dead body.

The last thing Daisy said to me before she walked out the door and hopefully out of my life was, “Don’t you let me see that porky little ugly bitch again or I’ll fuckin’ kill her!”

I looked at Jack who was staring at me with his mouth open. I walked up to Jack and grinned, “And to think I gave her an orgasm two minutes ago”

-

-

-

By the time I had recovered from the loss of what turned out to actually be seven thousand two hundred sixty dollars it was already close to midnight. Jack and me were sitting outside the run down house selling nickels and dimes to the kids who passed by.

“I knew you liked her,” Jack said as he sat down next to me on the open door step.

He gave me this nasty grin that made me want to punch him in the teeth. I kept quiet and tried my best to ignore his comment. I only had myself to blame for being so stupid and giving myself away. I wasn’t thinking….

“Today you just totally proved me right in a really fucked up way” Jack declared as he folded his hands between his knees, “I can’t believe you had her dress up like Monika all this time. No wonder she was giving her these nasty looks earlier today”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Daisy was giving Monika ugly looks?”

I tried to picture Miss Perfect in her halter-top and mini skirt glaring in jealousy at a girl in a Kill Hannah hoodie and faded torn jeans that wore flip-flops with pokadots. That was just too weird….

“Out of all the chicks you’ve ever been with, you treat Daisy like utter shit”, Jack admitted as he took a sip of the strawberry Fanta he had sitting at his feet, “I don’t even know why she bothered coming back to you”

I sighed refusing to say anything about that. It wasn’t that I meant to treat her badly, it’s just that’s how it had been since we met. The only thing we had in common was our love of crazy, kinky sex. We never really argued- I just acted like a complete dick.

But she never complained. In reality, we were both just using each other and that was cool for a while. She didn’t look how she does now when we first met. Let’s just say about ten thousand dollars worth of work was put into her that came out of my pocket. Before, I used to use her by parading her around- making other people jealous. It was an image thing I guess…. But after a while shit gets old.

“Why don’t you just ask Monika out?” Jack questioned, gulping down the last drops of soda before placing it on the ground and stomping it with his black Vans.

I turned to look at him, giving him an expression that made him feel like he had spoken utter blasphemy. He just shrugged at gave me a lopsided dorky smile, “I think you better do it before some other dude does…. And we both know exactly what guy I’m talkin’ about”

“I…can’t,” I mumbled, feeling quite defeated. I picked my knees up and rested my head against them. I felt so fuckin’ pathetic. I’ve never felt this way about anyone- it was too new to me. It was just too much all at once. All my life whenever I saw something I wanted, I went for it. Throughout my life determination has never been an issue, but as determined as I was something was holding me back. And to be honest, I didn’t know what it was.

Most of all, I think I was holding back because I was a fuckin’ pussy. I was scared of what she’d do to me. What I’d become.

“I don’t even know why I like her. This is gay. We’re talking like a bunch of chicks”, I admitted, picking my head up and looking at Jack who was giving me this huge toothy grin. I glared at him, kinda’ pissed that he was getting a big kick out of my vulnerability, “Yea, you were right, dickwad. I like her”

I watched Jack do a little victory dance which looked more like the kinda’ squirm you do while sitting on the toilet, “What was that? I was right? Fuck, that sounds real nice, don’t it?”

“I’ve never liked a girl before”, I said lightly, half hoping he wouldn’t hear me. I couldn’t believe how middle school that sounded. She made me feel like I was 12 years old. The worst part was I couldn’t figure out what it was about her that made my brain go dumb, my dick get hard, and cause me to break out in a nervous sweat.

“Lil’ ol’ Ozzy’s never liked a girl before?”, Jack mocked; speaking like someone would talk to a baby. Once he saw the death glare I was giving him, he cleared his throat and rolled his eyes, “What the fuck do you mean you’ve never liked a girl? You lost your virginity at 13! You can’t screw a girl at 13 and not like her. Plus, I’ve seen you with tons of chicks. You’re like Hugh Hefner, man!”

“But I never ‘liked’ them” I emphasized, trying to get him to understand, “And I just don’t know why I like her. It’s just too fucked up!”

“Maybe she reminds you of your… mom?” Jack said slowly, trying to dig up something that would explain my weird liking to Monika.

I couldn’t control the sarcastic laugh that escaped me, “Dude! You’ve seen my mom!”

“What about one of you’re sisters?”, he questioned as he scratched at his temple, seeming as though the deep thinking was making his brain itch.

“And you’ve seen my sisters”, I said bluntly, suddenly wishing I had friends who were psychology nerds. There was no way she reminded me of anyone in my family, cuz’ if she had I would’ve taken off running in the opposite direction.

“Well, ya’ know how in cheesy movies the dude sees this chick and then they just want each other. Love at first sight kinda’ shit”, he laughed. That explanation was even worse than his first two.

“Usually in those movies the chick looks like Jessica Alba”, I muttered, giving Jack a cold stare that earned me middle finger in my face.

“Well fuck you!”, he said as he stuck his pierced tongue out at me and pulled his angry middle finger out of my face, “I don’t know why you like her then. Just accept it and go for it before Jere’ bangs her and they have a bunch of babies. Then you’ll be shit outta’ luck”

Then realization hit me like a bat swinging at my nuts, “Dude, I know why I like her”

Jack just gave me this blank stare and he cocked an eyebrow and curiously asked, “Uh…why?”

I liked her and Jack for the same exact reasons, except I don’t wanna’ fuck Jack like I do Monika. Or kiss him either…. But anyways, they’re both way different from anyone else I’ve ever met. And in the few days I’ve been with her not once has she done the thing that most people who know me usually do. And this thing that set them both apart is what makes me vulnerable around them.

For example, with Jack I can say all this shit and not feel like a total fag. As queer as it sounds he knows what’s up with me or when something’s got me upset or sad or scared. He’s the only person who has met my parents and my two sisters. I take him to my place for Thanksgiving and Christmas for fuck’s sake. Not once in the four years that I went out with Daisy did I ever take to my real house. If we wanted to have sex we’d either rent a hotel or I’d bring her back to this crap shack. But Jack comes and goes from my house like it’s his second home- which it kinda’ is.

“What’s the one thing she’s never done to me since I met her?” I asked hoping he would get it.

“This”, Jack said grinning as he pulled his shirt up and flashed me his tiny chihuahua nipples.

I frowned at him and punched him kinda’ hard in the arm; causing him to slightly topple over, “Dude, for reals”

He wiped the dust off his shoulder and huffed, “Just get on with it. I obviously don’t know”

“She’s never asked me for anything”, I say, making it sound as though I had just discovered the meaning of life.

Jack just gives me this confused expression, “Seriously?”

“Yea, that’s it” I reasoned, satisfied that I had finally figured it out. I quirked an eyebrow remembering that she had asked me for something, “She did ask me to order a pizza once when I took her with me to the shop. She said she was getting a headache cuz’ she was hungry”

“A pizza? I’m sure you were starving her if she actually had the balls to ask you for something”, Jack said looking at me like I was an idiot.

“And two dollars for a drink and some candy which she promised she would pay back”, I continued suddenly realizing that she did ask me for stuff, so that couldn’t be the reason at all.

“Okay, two dollars and a pizza?”, he said continuing to give me that glare that accused me of being an asshole, “First off, I’m pretty sure she didn’t eat that pizza alone. And second…. Two dollars? Seriously? I know you fucking ate her candy cuz’ you’re a dick like that”

“Just so you know I only ate half the chocolate bar,” I corrected, “And I wouldn’t have bought that pizza, but she said she said she was hungry”

“Shut the fuck up man”, Jack said, rolling his eyes and making me feel pretty stupid for even bringing that up, “You’re crying about what probably came out to eight bucks, when you’ve spent thousands upon thousands for your ex. And you ate everything you bought for her so it doesn’t even count”

I sighed and just let him be right, because I knew he was. Technically, she had asked me for stuff, but I ate most of it…. except for the drink. I asked for some but she said no probably thinking I had syphilis or something.

“What do I do?” I questioned. Why did I have to be so lame?

“Grow balls” Jack laughed, as he cupped his own for emphasis, “Just ask her out! What’s the worse that could happen?”

“She says no,” I stated. If she told me no I think I’d be traumatized.

“Then try again,” Jack said. He looked me up and down, “Since when has you’re personality had a sex-change? You’ve gone from being a dick to a pussy”

“Whatever” I grunted as I picked myself up off the ground and walked inside the run down house, leaving Jack alone outside. How would I even bring up a date? In the middle of geometry class just up and ask wanna catch a movie or have dinner? How cliché is that? Do I call her? No that would be make me seem creepy…. And I don’t have her number anyways.

As dumb as it sounds, my biggest fear is that she doesn’t even like me.

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I just want to thank you guys for reviewing. If it wasn’t for reviews I know I wouldn’t even have bothered coming back to this story. A little appreciation goes a long way, so please just tell me what’s on your mind. Criticism is always welcome J

Also, this chapter was mostly an Ozzy chapter, next one will hopefully be a Jere’ chapter. This one was mostly Oz being a pansy- hope he didn’t come off as all emotional in the end. I’m trying to keep this real. Lol! Let me know who you guy’s think she should end up with in the end, I’m still kind of indecisive as to who, but I will let you know its gonna start getting twisted in a few chapters. Everyone’s probably gonna’ hate Ozzy even more but oh well….

Before you click that little X on the right corner of the screen PLEASE HOLLA’ AT A HOMIE!